the nAture oF our exCeeding • ��

THE NATUrE OF OUr EXCEEDING

Kevin C. Krycka, Psy.D.

It is in our nature to always freshly become, to exceed our forms such that we are ‘fresh beings’ that always already are elaborating the universe endlessly.

WhenIwasayoungboy,Iplayedfrequentlyinmygrandmother’skitchengarden.Her farm was like an exotic foreign land to me, filled with rolling hills, animals in pens, and ahugeredbarn.Oh,anditwasdustyinthesummers,verydusty.Iplayedforhoursoutsideor in the barn before being called in by my grandmother for a late afternoon snack. A first generationimmigrantfromPoland,shewouldhoistmeuponawornwoodenstoolnexttoherbutcher-blocktable,whichsatinthemiddleofherkitchen.

AfterIwasuponthestool,mygrandmotherwouldalwaysaskinherheavilyaccentedEnglish,What’s doings Kevin?‘Doings’wascodeforherinvitingmetosaywhateverwasonmymind.Thesewerenodeepphilosophicalorpersonalconversations.Theywereappro-priatetomyageandourcircumstances.Iwonderedaboutthehayinthebarn;howitgotsohighupinthelofts.Iwonderedaboutalotofthings.Thesebriefconversationswereawayformetoexplore.

OnetimeIrecallhernotaskingmethis.Imissedbeingasked,What’s doings?Instead,mygrandmotherincreasinglyhadafar-offlookinhereye,andsometimesIthoughtshe’dforgottenwhoIwasorthatIwaseventhere.Asaboy,Icouldnotknowthatmygrand-motherwasgoingsenile.Myparentsnoticedsomethingdifferent,too.Theyeventuallykeptmeawayfromher,somethingthatbringsacertainsadnessinmeevennowasIwritethis:asense of longing pulling from in the middle of my chest to finish a conversation.

Iknewsomethinghadchanged—ingrandmother,betweenus,andinmyfamily.Itwasnevertobethesame.TodayIrecognizethat‘myrelationship’withmygrandmotherwasnotonly‘mine’.Ourrelationshipwasconstitutedthroughanintertwiningofotherrela-tions;somefamilial,somecultural,somefriendshipspresentandpast,andofcoursevari-ousformsoftissueprocess(genetics,cells,etc).Irecognizethatthesevariousstrandshadexceededtheirformerform.Thewordexceedingimpliesandemphasizestheforwardlean-ingdirectionIbelieveisinherentinallchange,whichisnottosaythatitisnecessarilyfeltasa‘positive’thing.

Intheearly1960’s,myparentsknewnothingofFocusing(Gendlin,1968)orofGend-lin’sphilosophy.Ofcourse,neitherofthesewasasfullyinthepublicdomainatthistimeastheyaretoday,norweremyparentsthekindsoffolksthatwouldhavesoughtoutGendlin’swork.Theydidn’tknow that Ineeded tobeasked,What’s doings?— tobe invited intocontinued saying (searching and expressing) with my grandmother. Of course, I did notknowhowtoaskeither.Myparentssawtheirjobasprotectingme,andthattheydid.NowIseethatmyrelationshipwithmygrandmother(withallthestrandsintertwining)continued

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insidemeasastalledlifeprocessformanyyears.Itlingeredbeyondwhatitwouldhavebeenif thepatternofthatrelatinghadbeenexposedtoalife-forwarding pattern.

Atthetimethough,Iwasnotyetexposedtosuchwaysofthinking,norwasIcapableof these. Through this experience and others, I put together that it must not be right tosaywhatwasgoingon formewhen therewerenowordsyet todescribe it. I eventuallystopped saying what was doing. More so, this now-transfigured form of our relating with-helditsoriginalfreshinvitationthathadcharacterizedit.Ihadtemporarilylostthisbitoffreshlivinginmylifewhererisk-takinganddiscoveryformedmydeepappreciationforthechangeable.

Nosurprisethen,whenitcametolarger,emerginglifeprocesses,onesnooneinmyfamily would or could dare talk about in the open, I could not find my voice. An era of saying whatwasdoingwasgoneinacertainway.However,thatalivenesspattern,whichIwillcallasaying kind of relating,didnotwithercompletely.Ittookmanyyearsofexperienceandagreatdealofeducationandopportunitytoopenthislivingpatternagain.

Eventually, through reflection on these experiences and others, my education, and especiallymyexposuretoanduseofFocusingand‘ThinkingattheEdge’(Gendlin,2004a),this current project took shape. The project I’m referring to further refines how we human beingsexceedtheformsofourlivingwhileretainingoursenseofcontinuity.I’mcallingthisentirethingthenature of exceeding.Iamparticularlyinterestedinthenatureofexceedingasitcanrelatetopsychopathologyandpsychotherapy,althoughaswillbemadeclearer,thisgrowingtheorycanbeappliedtootherdomainsofhumanlivingaswell.

A BIT ABOUT mY mETHOD

I want to very briefly make a note at this point about the overall method of inquiry underlyingthisarticle.Iamemployingwhathasbeencalleda1stPersonScienceapproachtodiscovery(Shear,andVarela,1999andGendlinandJohnson,2004b).Thehallmarkofthisapproachisitsemphasisonimplicitmeaning.Implicitmeaning(meaningthatiscarried forward fromourbodily felt sensing) ismore important thanexplicit (explicated)mean-ing,althoughbotharekey.Implicitmeaningcarriesamuchrichersenseofthewholethanexplicitmeaningcan(Walkerden,2004).

ForGendlin,meaning is a term used specifically, i.e. with specific meaning. For Gen-dlin, meaning is derived from the vast intricacies of human experiencing, but is not fixed in character.Itretainsongoingness,whichcanbefeltbyusandusedasanewentitythatwecan follow. This makes ‘felt-meaning’ scientifically useful. In other words, meaning,oncewecallitoutfromthevastnessofexperiencing,suchthatitretainsitsrich,felt,andongoingintricacy,canbecometheobjectofanyinquiry.Inmydevelopingtheoryonthenatureofchange,themeaningscalledoutfromthevastexperiencingofchangearenowthefocusofmyinquiry.

ClarkMoustakas(1990)developeda1st Person Scientific approach he calls ‘heuristic phenomenology.’Inwritingthisarticle,IutilizedMoustakas’heuristicsalongwithFocus-ing and ‘Thinking at the Edge’ or TAE (Gendlin, 2004a), to define and further elaborate

the nAture oF our exCeeding • ��

mytheory.Theheuristic researchmethodusesexperiencingas the fundamentalbasisofresearchthatdesirestosaysomethingmeaningfulfromthatexperiencing.Moustakasspe-cifically employs Focusing in this method to further refine the concepts, aid in analysis, and givepauseduringtheresearchprocessasit isunfolding.OftheroleofFocusinginheu-risticresearch,DouglasandMoustakas(1985)say,“thefocusing(sic)processenablestheresearchertoidentifyqualitiesofanexperiencethathaveremainedoutofconsciousreachprimarilybecausetheindividualhasnotpausedlongenoughtoexaminehisorherexperi-enceofthephenomenon”(p.25).

QualitativeresearchapproacheslikeMoustakas’heuristicmethodhavehighinternalvalidityaswellasameasureofexternalvalidity.Validityinqualitativeresearchisaboutwhether the project as a whole and in its specifics actually captures the experience under investigation.Validityisnotbestexpressedasameasurement—asisthecaseintraditionalscientific approaches — i.e. through establishing correlations or through statistical computa-tion.Rather,validity(internalandexternal)inqualitativeresearchisanissueofmeaning.

Theresearcherisresponsibleforconductingtheproject,analyzingthedata,andpre-senting the findings in a manner that is both rigorous and accurate. Validity is found first internally,asitisfeltwithintheexperiencingoftheresearcherandthesubjects,whoarereferred to as co-researchers. In other words, a finding has validity when it is felttoaccu-ratelyrepresent theobject of the inquiry;whenthemeaning(s)of theexperiencingunderinvestigationispresentedclearlytotheparticipantsandthereaderofthereportandtheyresonate to it. Key questions qualitative researchers put to themselves are ‘Do I find myself here?’and‘Havemyexplicationsofacertainexperience/experiencingfairlyanddescrip-tivelycapturedtheexperienceorexperiencing?’

Second, many qualitative researchers contend that external validity (i.e. generaliz-ability vis-à-vis causal inferences) is an inadequate concept for understanding humanexperiencing.Somesuggest,andIagree,thatanewtermbeusedinstead:transferability.Transferabilityreferstotheabilityofourresultstobefoundtobemeaningfulinlikesitu-ations.Transferabilityinqualitativeresearchisfoundwhenwepersonallysensemeaninginthedatapresented.Thisimpliesthoroughnessandappropriateuseofprocedures.If,asareader, you can find yourself there in my report, then you have, in this sense, validated the findings.

One key demonstration of transferability is found in the written report itself. Nodoubtwritingisapowerfultoolinthisformofresearchasitneedstocarrythefeltunder-standings forward in the writing itself. If the findings resonate for the reader (who is not a co-researcher),internalvalidityandtransferabilityareachieved.Inmyview,higherinter-nal validity and transferability come with methods that specifically highlight the implicit feltsense.

Findings in qualitative research are generally presented as themes of specific expe-riencingunderinvestigation.Inthiscase,Iamlookingatthenatureofhumanchangesuchthatitispossibleweretainoursenseofongoingness.HavingamethodlikeMoustakas’isimportantifwewanttosaysomethingfromexperiencingthatisnotgoingtobeseenasjust‘about me.’ I won’t go more into the specific uses of or background of TAE here. There is

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anentireFolio edition(2004a)referencedaboveifthereaderwouldlikemoreonthisvalu-abletool.

IalsowanttonoteherethatIamdrawinguponthephilosophyofEmmanuelLevinastohelpmeelaborateuponthisevolvingtheoryofthenatureofexceeding.Levinas’philoso-phy emphasizes ethics as the fundamental field in which human beings become human. For Levinas,ethicsistheformofinterhumanrelatingfromwhichallotherconsiderationsandabstractions flow.

Levinassays,“IrespondbeforeIam”(Silberstein,1962).Icomeintobeingbecausewearealreadyinrelation.Kunz(2008)sumsupLevinas’philosophyaspointingto:

Theconcretepresenceoftheneighborcommanding,‘donotdoviolence,helpme,’asmorefundamentalthananythinkingaboutethicalresponsibility.Theprohibitionofharmcomes first not from religious or social dictates but from the goodness of the other for the good of the other. His philosophy is as simple as that. The application of this first principle, whichisnotaprinciplebutpersons,commandsourrenewedattentiontomanysocial,psy-chological, political, legal, economic, educationalproblems (Kunz,personal communica-tion,2008).

For Levinas, and Kunz, persons are not already separated entities. We come intobeing as interactions first and are thus the foundation of his philosophy and any principles oractionswemightmake.

Elsewhereinhisethicalphilosophy,Levinasdistinguishesthesayingfromthesaid.Sayingisaformofexpressionthatisalive,incomplete,engaging,engaged,andsearching.Sayingholdsmanifestationbyvirtueofitretainingthefeel ofourlivedsituation. Thus,thesaying-formofanyrelationship,likethatofmygrandmotherandme,isfresh,ongoing,andfelt.Thesaid-form of relating is a result of our signification of (or ascribing meaning to) manifestation.Thesaid-form isdistinguishedbyitsdemonstratingovertstabilization,oradeadeningoftherawpotentialfoundinsaying.Modernscienceandpsychology,ingeneral,overprivilegestabilization.Retainingthefreshopennessofthesayingthatmoveseachpro-cessforwardissometimeslost.

ForLevinas,andIamcertainforGendlin,itisimportanttohaveafeel forthealive-nesspresentinourliving.Levinassometimesreferredtothisfeelasphenomena.Hesays,“Phenomena open to disturbance, a disturbance letting itself be brought back to order”(Levinas,1996,p.73).Ihaveexperiencedinmylifemanyinstancesthatareofthesaying kindthatopensfurtherthrough‘disturbances’.Thesaying-formofrelatingstillholdswithinit freshness, discovery, perplexity, even awe. It is form(ed), but it has not been fixed in my consciousnessasitmightbewereItoascribeitparticular,staticmeaning.Inotherwords,when a feeling pattern is symbolized or assumed to have a fixed meaning, we will inevita-blyhavetocometotermswithitsrigidity.Theresultofhavingtobearthisrigidityisoftenexperiencedaspsychicpainorguilt.

Saying kinds of relating hold exceeding within them.Temporaryorpossibleorincom-pletestatementsabouthowwerelatetothingsgivesusthefreedomtogobeyondour his-torical relationship with them.

the nAture oF our exCeeding • ��

FUrTHEr INSTANCES OF EXCEEDING

WhileIamusingtwocentral instancesfrommypersonal life tobuilda theoryofexceeding,thesearebynomeanstheonlyinstancesIcouldhaveused.Ihavemany,manyinstancesofthenatureofexceedingIcanpointtofrommyclinicalpractice,mylifeasaneducator, andother theoriesalreadyarticulated. I takeacalculated risk inpresentinganemerging theory based upon what might seem merely personal stories. I feel the risk isworthit.Humanbeingslivingintheirparticularlivesgenerateallknowntheory.Sayinghowitisatheoristcomestoformanideaisuncommon,butIhopeitbecomesmorethecaseinthefuture.AsIcontinuefurtherinwhatamountstopublictheorymaking,Imostcertainlywillfeedmytheorywiththeinformationfoundinotherdomainsinthemannersuggestedin the final steps of TAE.

In the first instance, the case of my grandmother and me, I longed for the form of our relating:What’sdoings?Yes,Igrievedoverthedisturbanceofourusualpatternofbeingwitheachother,whichhadbeenexceededbyanotherformarisingfromwithintheformerlyformedrelating.

Anotherinstanceofasaying kind of relatingemergedwhileIwasingraduateschoolinChicago in themid-1980’s. I had a course that gavemean experience,which ledmeto regaina senseof thatbitof fresh living.ThecoursewasClient-CenteredTheoryandPractice,taughtbyMargaretWarner.Irecallthatclasswithgreatwarmthandfondness.Itintroducedmetothesimple,yetprofoundexperienceofbeingheard.ItalsointroducedmetoFocusing.Findingwordstosaywhatwasasyetunknownorattheedgesofmyawareness,provedtobeacatalystfordeeppersonalrecognitionandchange.

ThroughGendlin’sFocusingprocessand later throughA Process Model (Gendlin,1997)andTAE,IbegantoseejusthowvitalexceedingistounderstandingwhoIwasasaperson. A significant piece of this understanding came by getting in my bones what it is like tobeheardandtohearanotherhumanbeing.Experiencinglisteningandbeingheardwerefundamental.Duringthistime,Icameacrossoneofmyfavoritesayings.ItcomesfromanancientTaoist,LaoTsewhosewordssumupmydeepfeelingsthisway:

It is as though he listened,

and such listening as his enfolds us in a silence

in which at last we begin to hear

what we are meant to be.

—LaoTse,4thcentury,BCe

WhilelearningFocusing,howtolisten,andexperiencebeingheard,Ibeganadeepinward journey. Like so many of us, that first flush of excitement that comes when something reallyshiftsinus,settingusabitfreerinside,wasprofound.Iwantedmoreandwasabit

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intimidatedbyitaswell.Focusingenlivenedandscaredme.Icouldsensesomepossibilityofdeep,deeprecognitioncominganditwashuge—lifealteringinfact.

Almostfromthestart,IfeltFocusingwasapatternIcouldenterinto,notatechniqueorevenaskillpersebutasalifeprocess.Iwastakingplentyoftechniqueandskill-orientedclasses and this thing called Focusing was definitely not like those. With the dedication of greatteacherslikeRevaBernstein,MaryMcGuire,andDoraleeGrindler-Katona,IfoundmyselfinsimilarexperienceperhapstothatwhichLaoTserefers.Iwasexperiencingbeingheard for the very first time and in that I began to hear what I was meant to be, who I was. WhoIamwaschanging.

Theseweeks andmonthsof further exposure toFocusing and the traditionof lis-tening from the Client-Centered perspective of Carl Rogers (1902-1987), helped me affirm somethingIhadknownfora long, longtimeandyetcouldnotcomfortablysayaloudtomyself,muchlesstomanyothers:Iamagayman.Whilethiswasafreeingrealization,Iwas enough of a natural skeptic to know that what I needed to find was my own way in this. Icouldnotfollowothers’wayofbeing—theculturalpatternsandpersonalhabitsIsawinthegaycommunityofChicago.Certainly,Icouldnotembracebeinggayasanotherkindoflimiting,totalizationofidentity.Rather,withthehelpoftheFocusingprocess,myself-iden-tityremainedassomethingfreshandon-goingwithoutriskingfailureofacohesivesenseofself.IdentitywasnotsignificationasLevinaswouldcautionagainst;i.e.mynatureremainedfresh,negotiationsofchoiceswereenteredasfreshprocesses,onesforwhichanoutcomewasneverwhollyknownuntilitwasthere.

AfterIgraduated,IcametoSeattleUniversity.IreadmoreandmoreofGendlin’sworks,eventuallydivingintoA Process ModelandTAE.IsawtermsthatIcouldfeelinsideasbeing‘right’andexpressingmyownkindofknowingandbeing.Everything by every-thing, occurring into implying, focaling, direct referent, new universals,thesearejustsomeofthetermscomingfromGendlin’snewphilosophyofimplicitentrythatbringmeexcite-mentandevensomethinglikehope.

I had a second birth when my soul and my body loved one another and were married.

—KhalilGibran(1927/1998)

Whilethissentimentmightseemoverlyromantic,itdoescapturesomethingoftheexperiencingintowhichFocusingcanopenus.Whatwasforminginsidemewasasenseofcohesion,ofdisparateaspectsorpartsofmyselfunitedevenasIfelttheformerformednotions I had of myself exceeding themselves. Significations returned back to phenomena.

The greatest discovery of my generation is that man can alter his life simply by altering his attitude of mind.

—WilliamJames(1842-1910)

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WhileGibranandJamescouldnothaveanticipatedourworld100yearshence,theirwordsstillhavethepowertoevokeandopeninusnewconsiderationsandnewactions.Liketheirwords,Gendlin’smanyessayspowerfullyremainpotentpreciselybecausetheyretainthe fresh openness from which they arose. We find ourselves in them. It is frankly much to my surprise that I find myself in the philosophy of Gendlin, because ‘I am no philosopher.’ ThankstoGendlin,wecannowpreciselysayhowtheuseoflanguagegetsbeyondlanguageandmakeourownmodelsfromourdirectlyfeltknowing.

In this regard, Ihavebeenworkingoutmyownmodelofhowhumansexceed,orevolve,change,orprogress,andretainoursenseofcontinuity.Apersonlikemewhosecoreidentityshiftsintoafreshcohesivesenseofselfcanbehumanintheusualsense.Howisthispossible?Thismightsoundanoddwaytoputsomething,butit’sveryclosetoGendlin’squestion‘howisFocusingpossible?’

Intheinstanceofmy‘coming-out,’IhaveasenseofmyselfasbeingthesameguybeforeandafterI‘cameout.’Whilerecognitionofanaspectofmypersonhoodcertainlywasa‘bigdeal’foratime,itdidnotmonopolizemysenseofbeing‘me’.Inasimilarway,myrelatingtomygrandmotherchangedmanytimes.Itseemsitwouldhavechangedonceandforallatherdeath,butthisisnotso.Icontinuedmybeinginrelationwithherbeyondher death, through personal reflection, working out my theory, and writing this paper. The manwhoKevinisnowisnodifferentfromthen—andyetisnotthesameeither.Theformsareexceededwithoutlossofcohesion.

SOmE THEOrY DEVELOPmENT ON THE NATUrE OF EXCEEDING

MajorelementsofthisprojecttookshapeduringandimmediatelyafterattendingaTAEworkshopinupstateNewYorkinthesummerof1998.Idevelopedsomesentencesthatsaysomethingofthekindofhumanitiswhocanalsobefoundas‘me’(notjustaformedmeasinanindividual)andwhoisalsoexceedingthatform.IputitthiswayattheTAEretreat:

It is in my nature to freshly become, to be always in transition. This fresh being I am (becoming) is a cracking open of orders, bringing an always-uniting present exis-tence that is itself a continuing. I am that kind of human who is elaborated innate bodily order.

Eachofthesesentencescanbeelaboratedandneedstobe.TakentogethertheyretainthefreshunderstandingthatcomestomewhenIdipinto‘whoisachanginghumansuchthatIcanbepossible.’Letmeelaborateabitaboutthesentences.

Sentence1:It is in my nature to freshly become, to be always in transition.Ihavesaid something already about the first sentence. I’ll return to this one and all others at the endofthisessay.

Sentence2:This fresh being that I am (becoming) is a cracking open of orders, bring-ing an always-uniting present existence that is itself a continuing.

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Ihavetwocentralelaborationsonthissentence:1)Humansareperceiversofpatterns— patterns that at first glance seem separate and unconnected — as well as being pattern makers and pattern changers, and 2) bodily order exists AND it is a kind of order thatelaborates.

First, letmesaymoreaboutpatterns,patternmaking,andpatternchanging.Somemystics,yogis,saints,andyes,somescientisttypes(likepsychologists,physicians,andphys-icists for instance) have perceived patterns beyond those explainable by current scientific means.Theevidenceforsuchpatternsexistsbeyondwhatisdirectlyobservable,notintheexternalorpurelyintellectual,butthedeepestinternalplacesofourexperience.Fromherewecansenseandknowmuchmorethanfromourintellectalone.

Ifyou’veeverbeeninlove,youknowexactlywhatImean.Canyoureallyexplainyourfeelingsofloveforanotherperson?Ofcoursenot.But,youdon’thavetoeither,becauseit’soneof those things thatweallknowabout.Toput this inProcessModelvernacular,sharedprocesses(likelove)areunderstoodintheircrossing(sharingofsometype)anddip-ping(feltsensing/Focusing).Gendlin(1995)says,“Wecanunderstandeachother,acrossdifferent experiencesanddifferent cultures,becausebycrossingwecreate ineachotherwhatneitherofuswasbefore”(p.559).

Forme,patternscanfunctionascrossingsdoforGendlin.Theyarenotessentiallyfixed as permanent pre-existing commonalities or symbolizations, but are re-structured in theiruse.Ofcourse,patternsofanykindcanalsofunctionastheirownwhole.Thesetwoformsofpatterningdonotcontradict. Inmywayofputting this,patterns(making them,recognizing them, and changing them) are forms that are exceeded in everydayuse andin larger scalehumanevolutions; i.e. socialchange,peacebuildingefforts,etc.Theyareform(ed)andyetareexceededinandbytheiruse.

InapaperonRumi,ElizabethLease(1997)statedthatRumi—andImightaddthisisprobablytrueofothermysticssuchasThomasMerton,JohnoftheCross,orTheresaofAvila—believedthat“allcorporealthingsaremanifestationsofGod,therebycreatinganinherentlinkbetweentheformandtheformless.”Mysticsandscientistsagreethatweseeoppositesviaoursensoryperception,butmysticsgoone-stepfurthertoinsistthatweseethemanifested form of the infinite and unknowable attributes of God in patterns of perception itself.Fromamystic’spointofviewtherearetworealmsoftheuniverse,theformandtheformless,whichshouldnotbeconstruedasdistinct.

Leasesays,

Theyareanalogoustothefrontandbackofamirrorwithitsbacksideactingas theearthandthefrontactingas theimageofGod,acontinuumofsorts.Man,boundedbyhisphysicalmanifestation, illustratedbyhisutilizationofhis five senses, sees only the forms of the universe; yet, Rumi always maintains that there persists a component of man which is capable of comprehendingandappreciatingthenon-corporeal:thesoul(ElizabethLease,1997,retrievedDecember12,2007.Linkinactive).

Dippingandcrossingarefeltexperiences.Thesetermshelpusunderstandhowpat-ternsemerge,howtheycanbefreshlyentered,andhowtheyareexceeded.Inmyexampleof

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comingout,andintheaccountofmygrandmother’sdescentintosenility,Icertainlyfelttheexceedingofthepriorformsofrelating.Attimestheorderingofthepatternsofmyidentityorthecharacterofmyrelatinggaveupitssentiencewithabang.Attimesinbothprocesses,Irecallvividlyasenseofbeingcrackedopen.Thisprobablysoundsfrightening,evenviolent.Iwon’tdisagree.

I experienced a profound sense of lightness and opening as these orders (pattern-ings)crackedinawayIfeltprecisely.WeseethisdualphenomenonofshiftsandreleasingfrequentlyinFocusingandTAE.Theshiftinfeltsensefrom‘allstoppedup’torelief,forinstance,iswelldocumentedinourwork.The‘ahha,’orsuddeninsight,comessometimesandsometimesnot.Andstillwecansay‘somethinghasshifted.’Thecrackingofordersisanaspectofthenatureofexceeding.Itdoesnotrequirean‘ahha’orevendramaticfeelingtobefeltandrecognizedasitsownsub-process.

Second,wecansaythatbodilyorderexistsANDthatitisakindoforderthatelabo-rates.Weseethissoclearlyinwatchinganinfantgrowtochildhoodandthenadulthood.The ‘order’ is there, in theDNAandenvironment, but humans arenot limitedby thoseorders.Ourownorder,itsbodilycomplexity,isoftheon-goingkindoforder.Gendlin(2007,June)saysthissolucidly:“Livingisalwaysafresh,furtherforming(allthewayfromthecellsup).”

I’ve foundGendlin’s article,The Responsive Order (1997)particularlyvaluable inhelping me find my words and terms around this emerging concept of an endlessly elaborat-ingbodilyorderthatisfreshlymovingforwardandretainsthealreadyformedform(ofcells,organismicprocesses,ofidentity,etc.) thoughdifferently.Inthisseminalarticle,Gendlinargues that top-down derivations of findings (from pre-existing concepts, language, sym-bols,etc.foundineithercommonuseorspecializedusefamilies)areobviatedbythetwo-wayfeedbackoftheexperientialresponse(whatweknowasfeltsensing).Gendlininsistswelosenothingofthelogicalorderwhenwedipintoourfeltsense.Inotherwords,wedon’t‘loseourminds’whenwetapintothefeltsense.Nomattertheactivity,thefeltsensefunc-tionsresponsively,notchaotically.

Iamusing thisarticle in twoways.First, itservesasaprecisedescriptionofhowformsareexceeded.Second,itshowshowourfreshconceptscanretainbodilyalivenessandstillbeempirical.Gendlingivesussometwentydetailedcharacteristicsofhis‘responsiveorder.’ He uses and defines ‘order’ in a way that is useful to this project, and of course to manyotherapplicationsaswell.Hesays,“Whateverwestudyisveryorderlyindeed,butthiscannotbethekindoforderthatconceptualsystemshave,sinceitcanrespondpreciselytomutuallyexclusivesystems”(Gendlin,1997,p.3).Theresponsiveorderandwholefreshlyderivedsystemslikethistheory,cannotbemutuallyexclusive,astheyareresponsivetoeachotherandthusmalleabletoacertainextentvis-à-visinteractions.

Thus, in thiswaybodilyorder ispreciselyknown,notmutuallyexclusiveofotherorders/orderings,andresponsiveincharacter.ThispointclickedandwentverydeeplyinsidemeduringaTAEphonesessionwithNadaLouinSeptember2007.IamincludingtherawnotesasNadatranscribedthemfromthisverybriefphonesession.Itshowsthesubtleandyetemergentnatureofworkingoutan issueusingTAE,butmoreso forus, it showsanelaborationofaninstanceofwhattheconceptisallabout.

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‘Being’ in rESPONSIVE order. Thereisanorder…

I am participating in the responsive order — there is no loss of mE as I amparticipating.

ThereisaMEtheretoo.

I am participating with eyes looking out.

Youarepartofaresponsiveorder thereforeyouparticipateandthereisnolossofME.

I am a responsive order.

This bit of work from TAE turned out to be a significant piece for me. I recall even nowthejoyofsensinginsidethesesentences.Yes,Icanstillsay,Iamaresponsiveorder.Gendlin’sarticlenotonlyhelpedmefashionsomethingofthistheory,butalsoshowsusawaytothinkfromexperiencingthatdoesnotsuccumbtorelativismorsimpleconfusion.Weknownowthroughadvancesinphysics,cellularandmolecularbiologyforinstance,thatthemostbasicaspectsofourphysicalityarechangingallthetime.DNA,oncethoughttobeablueprint,astaticunitpartiallyturnedonatbest,isnowseenasaconstantlyself-orderingprocess.Asquotedearlier,“Livingisalwaysafresh,furtherforming(allthewayfromthecellsup)” Gendlin(2007,June).

Nonetheless,bodily order is difficult to talk about in most western developed coun-tries, especially with any experiential honesty. Speaking as one of the westerners, I canadmit to this difficulty first hand. In my working with dying patients in hospice, schizo-phrenics,thoseclaimingtobealienabductees,mysticsandsuch,Ihavebeenpushedtoseeandeventuallywelcomethediversecomplexityinhumanpsychologicalexperience.But,ithadn’tbeenuntilIstartedonthisproject,thatIbegantoappreciatethatwhatIwasnoticinghadnotbeensaidbeforeinthisexactway:bodilyordersexceedandretain.Bodyandorderarenowtermsusedinaspecializedmanner.

I could not find a place in psychology, sociology, physics, or religion for what was strivingtobeelaboratedinsideme.Somehow,IcouldnotreadthepastintowhatIwasdoing.In a very practical way, the ‘doings’ going on inside me, especially the uncategorizable,wouldn’tletmeputthisintoaformthatalreadywas.Whatisemerginginmywork,andinthose fields interested in understanding how we arealready—whilestillretainingcontinu-ityinchange—isanew,furtherdevelopment.

SentenceThree:I am that kind of human who is elaborated innate bodily order.

Perhapsitsnowpossibletoseehowbeinghumantodayencompassesmanypotentialidentities,eachbeingofnon-exclusiveforms,systems,orpatterns.‘Gay’inthisway,isjustonespecializedkindofelaborationofaresponsivebodilyorder.Wehavenoideaifthesesystems,orders,orpatterns,evenexistoutsideofthisbodilyorder.Infact,itseemscleartomethattheydonot.Theycouldn’t.Withoutafeltbody,theselfandotherelaborationsofourparticularcontemporarycomplexitycouldnotexist.Yes,wecouldarguethatthe‘body’ispresentinsomeotherformthatisnotpurelyphysical.NomatterwhereyouventureinA

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ProcessModelorelsewhereinGendlin’swritings,onethingcomesacrossveryclearlytome:thelivingbodyisfundamental.Wemightinventnewwaysofarticulatingwhatbodyisormeans,butatleastasIreadGendlin,itwillalwaysbe,forhispurposesandminehere,thatkindofbodythatisphysicallyknown.

Ifwetakethecruxofeachofmysentences,wehavethebeginningsofatheoreticalengine.ThesentencesasI’vewrittenthemcontaincruxwordsthatI’veunderlinedinthesentencesbelow.

Sentence1:Itisinmynaturetofreshlybecome,tobealwaysintransition.

Sentence2:ThisfreshbeingIam(becoming)isacrackingopenoforders,bringinganalways-unitingpresentexistencethatisitselfacontinuing.

Sentence3:Iamthatkindofhumanwhoiselaboratedinnatebodilyorder.

WhenIpulloutthesecruxwordsandphrasesandchangethemabitmore,Igetthisstatement:It is in our nature to always freshly become, to exceed our forms such that we are ‘fresh beings’ that always already are elaborating the universe endlessly.

APPLICATIONS

Ifwecanacceptthathumanbeingsdoindeedchange,sometimesineasymovesandatothertimesinsudden,almostcataclysmicways,wecanthinkfurtherabouttheprecisenature of this change in many specified domains related to human living. As Gendlin has alreadyshownthroughFocusing,changecanbehelpedalong.Focusinghelpsusestablishwithothersandourselvesatrustingenvironmentwhereacceptanceisitsfundamentalatti-tude. In this environment, change can come smoothly and with flair. However, what of other lessprivatedomainsinwhichalivingnotionofchangeiskey?

There are at least five human domains that can benefit from further articulation of preciselyhowchangeworkswithinthem:personalgrowth,socialchange,spirituality,psy-chopathology,andpsychotherapy.Inbrief,theseareasofhumanlivinghavemanyconceptsappliedtothem,insomecaseswithlessthandesirableresults.Ifwethinkforamomentaboutournatureasfresh beings that continuously exceed and endlessly elaborate the uni-verse, we might then find and ask critical questions within any of these domains. We will be abletoformulatepreciseandpertinentquestionsthatcomefromwithinthedomainandthusareusefultoit.Atthispoint,Ihavemadeonlyasmallbeginningtowardformulatingcriticalquestionsforthesearenasofhumanliving.Ifeelmorewillcome.

CONCLUSIONS

I know this article might sound very, very heady or esoteric or overly optimistic.Reallythough,I’mtryingtosaysomethingthatIbelieveweallalready‘get’intuitively.Wechangeandyetwedonotloseourselvesalongtheway.I’veattemptedtostartabitoftheorymakingtoaddresshowthiscouldbeso.I’vefollowedGendlin’sleadinsomewaysandven-turedintomyownterritoriesinothers.

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We all know too well that we’re not just passively connected — as if we have no influ-enceoneventsandcircumstances.Weareactivelyengagingourworldatmany,manylevelsallthetime,andexceedingthevariousandmanyformswecreateandencounter.It’sjustthatwe don’t generally notice the connections, and the ways we influence and are influenced. As GendlinsuggestsinFocusing,ourlivesareconnectedtootherlivescloseby,tootherpeopleinotherplacesonourplanet,and,infact,tothewholeplanetanduniverse.

I’vecometothissenseofthewaythingsarefromobservingmyself,myfriends,andmanypeoplewhosuffer,inonewayoranother.Somesufferfromdefeatortheshacklesoftheirpersonalhistory.Somewhosufferdososilentlyandwithoutnotice.Ioweagreatdealofthisbitoftheory-makingtotheworkIandothersdowithpersonssuchasthese.I’mmoreconvincedthaneverthatwearemorethanourproblems,morethanwhatevenourbiologyorhistoryorcircumstanceshavedeliveredtous.Personswhohavesufferedinlife,aswellas people who haven’t, have shown me that it is fundamental to being human to find ways forwardinlife.Evenifthewayforwardisnotclearlyseen,wealwaysretainthepotentialtobecomemorethanourgivennatureorcircumstancesseemtodictate.Wearepeoplebuiltupfromloworiginstoexceedeventhemostintractableofconditions.

Iamveryinterestedinexploringfurtherthenature of exceedingasitpointsmebackagainandagainintomysensethat,“Weareanon-goingarticulationoftheuniverse,curiousandjoyful.Weneedonlytoremembertobegin,fromthereouruniquepathlesspathenfoldsuslikeastarrynight,”(Fromhttp://www.focusingnorthwest.com/resources.html).

Mystatement:It is in our nature to always freshly become, to exceed our forms such that we are ‘fresh beings’ that always already are elaborating the universe end-lessly, isaliveformeandIhopeforyouaswell. IfI’vemademycasesuccessfully,youcan find yourself in it. Some bit of further living in you might be sparked to do your own elaborating,ortorestinthesenseherethatyoualreadyareanelaborationandnothingmoreneedbedone.Inanycase,nomatterwhatmore‘doings’goonfromhere,thisisastartonatheory.

rEFErENCES

Douglas, B. and Moustakas, C. (1985). Heuristic inquiry: The internal search to know.Journal of Humanistic Psychology.25(3),39-55.

Gendlin,E.T.(1978).Focusing.NewYork:BantamBooks.

Gendlin, E.T. (1995). Crossing and dipping: Some terms for approaching the interfacebetweennaturalunderstandingandlogicalformulation.Mind and Machine,5(4),547-560.Fromhttp://www.focusing.org/gendlin/docs/gol_2166.html

Gendlin,E.T.(1997).A Process Model.NewYork:TheFocusingInstitute.

Gendlin,E.T.(2004a).Introductionto‘ThinkingattheEdge.’The Folio, 19(1),1-8.

Gendlin, E.T. and Johnson, D.H. (2004b). Proposal for an international group for a first person science[Internetpage].NewYork:TheFocusingInstitute.Fromhttp://www.focusing.org/gendlin/docs/gol_2184.html

the nAture oF our exCeeding • 10�

Gendlin,E.T.(2007,June).Focusing: The body speaks from the inside.[Transcriptoftalkgivenatthe18thAnnualInternationalTraumaConference,Boston,MA].NewYork:TheFocusingInstitute.

Gendlin,E.T.(1997).Theresponsiveorder:Anewempiricism.Man and World, 30(3),383-411.Fromhttp://www.focusing.org/gendlin/docs/gol_2157.html

Levinas,E.(1996).Enigmaandphenomenon.InA.Peperzak,S.Critchley,andR.Bernasconi(Eds.), Emmanuel Levinas: Basic Philosophical Writings (pp. 65-77). IndianaUniversityPress.(Chapteroriginallypublishedin1965).

Moustakas, C. (1990). Heuristic Research: Design, Methodology, and Applications.ThousandOaks,CA:Sage.

Shear,J.,andVarela,V.(Eds.).(1999).The view from within: First-person approaches to the study of consciousness.BowlingGreen,OH:ImprintAcademic.

Silberstein,U.(Producer/interviewer). (1962).You who are looking at me: Interview with Emanuel Levinas.[DVD].

Walkerden,G.(2004).Thinkingattheedgeinenvironmentalmanagementandecologicaltheory.The Folio. A Journal of Focusing and Experiential Therapy.19(1),102-110.

Dr. Kevin C. Krycka is Director of the Psychology Graduate program and associate pro-fessor of Psychology at Seattle University. His is also a psychotherapist. Kevin is active in working out how Gendlin’s Process Model benefits research, the training and supervision of therapists, peace work in the Mideast, and gay studies.

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