The Introductory Paragraph References © 2001 by Ruth Luman The Paragraph that Hooks Your Reader Introduction ---------------- --------------

The Introductory ParagraphThe Introductory Paragraph

References

© 2001 by Ruth Luman

The Paragraph that HooksThe Paragraph that HooksYour ReaderYour Reader

Introductio

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An IntroductionAn IntroductionDefinition and Purpose

An introduction is the first paragraph in your essay andcontains the thesis statement. The main purposes of anintroduction are to…

catch your reader’s attention so that he/she will become interested in reading your essay.

present the focus of your essay and give your reader some general information about your subject.

http://www.virtual.yosemite.cc.ca.us/lumanr2/English_25/unit_C.htm

An introduction always includes somegeneral statements about your subject and athesis statement that announces the focus ofyour essay. The thesis statement is usuallythe last sentence in the introduction becauseit is the most specific. Notice how theintroduction below begins with generalinformation and becomes more specific.

An IntroductionAn IntroductionGeneral Information and Focus


An IntroductionAn IntroductionGeneral Information and Focus

Specific focus ofessay and thesisstatement.

General statements provide backgroundinformation on the focus of health carefor homeless people with HIV.

There are a number of frightening disease epidemics occurring in

the United States today, but one of the most frightening is the

epidemic spread of sexually transmitted diseases. Among the most

serious of these sexually transmitted diseases is HIV which leads to

AIDS, a fatal disease. HIV is especially problematic among

homeless people. This particular population is difficult to treat due to

a number of barriers such as, limited access to health care, mistrust

of health care professionals, and a lack of awareness of the disease,

itself.


An IntroductionAn IntroductionA Closer Look

Let’s look at that introduction again and see how the sentences

become more and more specific leading to the thesis statement.

There are a number of frightening disease epidemics occurring in the United States today, but one of the most frightening is the epidemic spread of sexually transmitted diseases.

Among the most serious of these sexually transmitted diseases is HIV which leads to AIDS, a fatal disease.

HIV is especially problematic among homeless people.

This particular population is difficult to treat due to a number of barriers such as, limited access

to health care, mistrust of health care

professionals, and a lack of awareness of the

disease, itself.

GeneralStatements

MoreSpecific

Very Specific:Thesis

Statement


Example #2Example #2General Information and Focus

Here is another example of how an introduction can begin with general information and become more specific with a thesis statement at the end.


Example #2Example #2General Information and Focus

Specific focus ofessay and thesisstatement.

General statements provide backgroundinformation on the steps the Indiangovernment is taking to reduce population.

Overpopulation and finding ways to reduce it are big concerns

of many developing nations today. One nation that is concerned

about this issue is India. One of the biggest causes of overpopulation

in India is the high infant mortality rate. Parents often have more

children because they are fearful that if some children die, there

won’t be enough children to take care of them in their old age. India is

taking some important steps in dealing with this problem. Some of

the steps the Indian government is taking are providing birth control

for women, improving pre-natal care, and educating women on the

benefits of having fewer children.


Example #2Example #2A Closer Look

Look at the example below to see how the sentences in theintroduction become more and more specific leading to thethesis statement.

Overpopulation and finding ways to reduce it are big concerns of many

developing nations today. One nation that is concerned about this issue is India.

One of the biggest causes of overpopulation in India is the high infant

mortality rate.

Parents often have more children because they are fearful that if

some children die, there won’t be enough children to take care of

them in their old age.

India is taking some important steps in dealing with this

problem. Some of the steps the Indian government is

taking are providing birth control for women, improving

pre-natal care, and educating women on the benefits

of having fewer children.

GeneralStatements

MoreSpecific

VerySpecific:Thesis

Statement


An IntroductionAn IntroductionCatch the Reader’s Attention

In addition to stating the thesis and providing some general

information on your subject, an introduction also needs to catch areader’s attention and cause him/her to become interested inreading your essay. There are several ways you can introduceyour subject and catch your reader’s attention.

Use a story or example of a personal experience.

Use a quotation.

Use a question or questions.


A brief dramatic story or example can beused to get the attention of your reader. Look at the example below and think abouthow it catches your attention.

Catching AttentionCatching AttentionUsing a Story or Personal Experience


Personal Story or ExamplePersonal Story or Example A personal story can “hook” yourreader into wanting to read more.

ThesisStatement

When the car accident happened, my brother was left with a

broken arm, leg, and hip. My mother nearly died due to head

injuries. However, we all survived due to the team of emergency

medical technicians who responded quickly to the scene and

provided us with the help we needed. After my experience of being

involved in a car accident, I saw how I could use my interest in first

aid and desire to help other people through becoming an

emergency medical technician. Now, after twenty years of work as

an EMT, I think it is the most rewarding job I could ever have and

feel that the occupation, itself, has numerous advantages over other

occupations in the health care field.


Personal Story or ExamplePersonal Story or ExampleExample #2

Here’s another example of how you can use a story to catch a reader’s attention in an introduction.


John’s parents divorced when he was in elementary school.

After the divorce, his mother had to go to work to support him and

his three sisters. This disrupted John’s home life in serious ways.

Without the constant supervision of his mother and the lack of a

father for a role-model, John began skipping school and socializing

with the wrong group of people. He eventually turned to taking

drugs and was later arrested for being a drug dealer and sent to

prison. John is not unlike other prisoners. In many prisons today,

over half of all inmates come from divorced families. Divorce can

be the catalyst that unleashes emotional problems in children

and can affect children psychologically, mentally, and socially.

Personal Story or ExamplePersonal Story or ExampleExample #2

An example of a story in the third person.

ThesisStatement


Sometimes controversial or well-knownquotations can be used to surprise yourreader. Look at the example below andnotice how a quotation can be used to getyou interested in the rest of the essay.

Catching AttentionCatching AttentionUsing a Quote


Using a QuoteUsing a Quote A well-known quotationfrom American literature.

ThesisStatement

Henry David Thoreau, an American poet, once wrote, “ Our life is

frittered away by detail… simplify, simplify!” These words of advice

are difficult to follow in a society where a hectic pace of life is the

norm and the attainment of more material goods is encouraged.

However, I believe that this philosophy of living simply has quite a

bit of merit. The difficulty of following this philosophy is knowing

where we should begin. If we examine Henry David Thoreau’s life

carefully, I believe we will find a number of ways in which to simplify

our own lives and yet live richly.(Quotation from: Watson, 1951)


QuotationQuotationExample #2

Here’s another example of how you can use a quotation to catch a reader’s attention in an introduction.


Horace once wrote, “ Many blessings do the advancing years

bring with them.” For many senior citizens in the United States

today, old age can often come as a curse. Many older people suffer

from ill health, loneliness, and/or financial instability; however, life

in later years does not have to be this way. Many senior citizens

can experience the blessings of advancing years that Horace once

wrote about. In order to do that, let’s consider ways in which old

age actually enhances life.(Quotation from: Watson, 1951)

QuotationQuotationExample #2

Quotation

Thesis Statement


Another way to catch your reader’sattention is with a question. Questions canmake your reader begin thinking about thesubject in your essay.

Catching AttentionCatching AttentionUsing Questions


Have you ever run in a marathon? Most marathons are twenty

six miles. Have you ever heard of one-hundred mile marathons?

The state of Colorado hosts a one-hundred mile marathon each

year. People from all over the United States and the world run in

this marathon. Some of the top runners in this race have been

members of the Tarahumara Indian tribe in the Sierra Madre

mountains of Mexico. Tarahumaras do not train for marathons, but

their lifestyle and culture promotes, develops, and supports this

type of athletic endeavor.

Using QuestionsUsing Questions Questions that may surprise your reader.

Thesis Statement


Did you know that one of the eight architectural wonders of the world

is located in Cambodia? Angkor Wat is an ancient Buddhist temple that

was the center of culture and religion for the Khmer empire for several

centuries. It was only recently re-discovered by a French explorer during

the 1800’s. It has now become one of the most popular tourist attractions

in Southeast Asia. If you visit Angkor Wat, you will find much to admire in

its size, historical significance, and beauty.

QuestionsQuestionsExample #2

Here’s another example of how you can use a question to catch a reader’s attention in an introduction.

Question

Thesis Statement


Body ParagraphsBody Paragraphs

References


Writing Paragraphs of Importance Writing Paragraphs of Importance

Body ParagraphsBody ParagraphsPurpose

The body paragraphs in your essay supportthe main idea in your thesis statement bybreaking it down into smaller ideas or subtopics. Ideas in your paragraphs should relate back tothe thesis statement.

Essay

Introduction &

Thesis Statement

Body Paragraph 1

_____________

Body Paragraph 2

_____________

Body Paragraph 3

_____________

Body Paragraph 4

_____________

Body Paragraph 5

_____________

Body ParagraphsBody Paragraphs

Most paragraphs contain between five to ten sentences. The first line of a paragraph is usually indented (begin a few spaces to the right of the margin) to show that there is a new paragraph.

Form

________________________ . ____________________. _____________________. _________________________. ____________________________. ____________________. ______________________. ______________________________.

indent

Key FeaturesKey Features Body paragraphs should should containsome of the following features…

A Topic Sentence

Supporting Sentences

A Concluding Sentence

Unity

Topic SentencesTopic Sentences

Every paragraph should have a topicsentence. This is the most important sentencebecause it expresses the main idea of theparagraph.

Definition

Body Paragraph

An important factor in learning a foreign language has to do with the

concept of intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation. When we do something

for the “fun of it” or because we enjoy it, that is called intrinsic

motivation. Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, is when we do

something for the purpose of receiving some kind of external reward

such as money, time off from work, etc. Many education experts believe

that intrinsic motivation is more powerful when it comes to helping

students retain what they’ve learned. The question and challenge for

teachers today is, “How can we help our students become intrinsically

motivated in what we are teaching?”

ExampleExampleTopic Sentence

Topic Sentence: states the main idea of the paragraph.

Topic Sentence EssentialsTopic Sentence EssentialsComplete Sentence

There are several things you need toremember when writing topic sentences. Thefirst is that topic sentences are alwayscomplete sentences.

ExampleExample

Strategies of learning English.

There are many strategies

that you can use to help you

learn a new language.

Not a complete sentence

ExampleExample

The Day of the Dead.

The Day of the Dead is a special holiday in Mexico when people can get together to remember deceased loved ones.

Not a complete sentence

Topic Sentence EssentialsTopic Sentence EssentialsTwo Parts

A topic sentence contains the topic of theparagraph and a controlling idea. Thecontrolling idea limits the topic to somethingvery specific.

Topic Sentence Companies should develop more efficient forms of energy such as solar heating panels.

ExampleExampleThis sentence does not contain a controlling idea. This is not a good topic sentence, because it does not limit the topic to make it more specific.

Controlling Idea: limits the ideas in the paragraph and makes the sentence more specific.

Topic Sentence Companies need to develop more efficient forms of energy.

Topic: names the main idea

Example #2Example #2Topic and Controlling Idea

Topic Sentence

One of the most serious problems in today’s inner-city public

schools is overcrowded classrooms.

Topic: names the main idea or general subject of the paragraph

Controlling Idea: makes a specific comment about the subject. Tells the reader what the paragraph will say about the main topic.

Example #2Example #2Topic and Controlling Idea

Topic Sentence

One of the most serious problems in today’s inner-city public

schools is the low percentage of trained teachers.

Topic: names the main idea or general subject of the paragraph

Controlling Idea: makes a specific comment about the subject. Tells the reader what the paragraph will say about the main topic.

Be Careful!Be Careful!

Make sure that your topic sentence does not contain too many controlling ideas.

Be Careful!Be Careful!

Make sure that your topic sentence does not contain too many controlling ideas.

Topic Sentence The advent of the Internet has benefited society through improved communication.

ExampleExampleThere are too many controlling ideas to be covered in one paragraph. A good topic sentence should be limited to one controlling idea.

Most topic sentences contain only one controlling idea.

Topic Sentence The advent of the Internet has benefited society through improved communication, access to information, and streamlined commerce.

Supporting SentencesSupporting SentencesDefinition

Every paragraph has sentences that relateto the ideas in the topic sentence. Thesesentences are called supporting sentences. Look at the supporting sentences on the nextpage to see how the writer provided moreinformation on the subject in the topicsentence.

Supporting SentencesSupporting SentencesTopic Sentence


concept of intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation.

When we do something for the “fun of it” or because we enjoy it, that is called intrinsic motivation.

Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, is when we do something for the purpose of receiving some kind of external reward such as money, time off from work, etc.

Many education experts believe that intrinsic motivation is more

powerful when it comes to helping students retain what they’ve learned.

Supporting Sentences

Concluding SentenceConcluding Sentence

A concluding sentence is the lastsentence in a paragraph. A conclusion

canremind the reader of the main points of aparagraph and/or leave the reader withsomething to think about in relation to

thetopic. Look at the next page to see howthe writer used a concluding sentence.

Definition and Purpose
















Body Paragraph


concept of intrinsic versus extrinsic motivation. When we do something

for the “fun of it” or because we enjoy it, that is called intrinsic

motivation. Extrinsic motivation, on the other hand, is when we do

something for the purpose of receiving some kind of external reward

such as money, time off from work, etc. Many education experts believe

that intrinsic motivation is more powerful when it comes to helping

students retain what they’ve learned. The question and challenge for

teachers today is, “How can we help our students become intrinsically

motivated in what we are teaching?”


This concluding sentence tries to leave a final thought with the reader by asking a question.

Concluding Concluding SentenceSentence

Useful Expressions

It is sometimes helpful to have a concluding expressionin your last sentence to signal the end of your paragraph.Some common expressions used in concluding sentencesare listed below.

As we can see,

These examples show that…

As a result,

In summary,

Finally,

Consequently,

Concluding Concluding SentenceSentence

Useful Expressions

It is sometimes helpful to have a concluding expressionin your last sentence to signal the end of your paragraph.Some common expressions used in concluding sentencesare listed below.

As we can see,

These examples show that…

As a result,

In summary,

Finally,

Consequently,

UnityUnityDefinition

Good paragraphs have unity. Thatmeans that each sentence in the paragraphis related to the topic sentence. Unifiedparagraphs also discuss only one main idea.

Body Paragraph

One of the recent status symbols for many American business people is the

palm pilot. Palm pilots are small electronic devices that help people organize

information such as dates for meetings, short notes, and addresses of contacts.

Fax machines are also very popular among office workers. With palm pilots, a

person can input information at any time and any place. Many business people

also have cellular phones so that they can make phone calls from just about

anywhere. When a person returns to the office from a business trip, he/she won’t

have to spend hours organizing notes or addresses, because the palm pilot

already has that information. All that person has to do now is hook up the palm

pilot to a personal computer, and voila! All the information from meetings is

efficiently organized on the hard drive of the personal computer!

Find the sentences that are “off topic” or do not relate to the topic

sentence. Topic Sentence

These sentences do not relate to the topic sentence in the paragraph. This paragraph does not have unity.

The ConclusionThe Conclusion

References


Making Your Last Paragraph CountMaking Your Last Paragraph Count

The End

A ConclusionA ConclusionDefinition and Purpose

The conclusion is the last paragraph in your essay. A conclusion completes the essay and reemphasizes your thesis statement or main ideas. Look at the example thesis statement and conclusion below.


A ConclusionA Conclusion

First Sentence of Conclusion

Ultimately, because of the steps I took, I was successful in fighting the disease…

Thesis Statement

When I first found out that I was diagnosed with cancer, I took

two important steps to fight the disease.

First sentence in conclusion reemphasizes ideas in thesis statement.


A ConclusionA ConclusionSo What?

In addition to referring back to your main idea, yourconclusion needs to show your reader the significance ofyour thesis. When discussing the importance of yourthesis, try to address questions such as…

How and why is this topic important?

How might this topic affect me or other people?

What can be learned from this topic?


Look at the example below of a conclusion that shows the reader the importance of the main idea of the essay.

Example #1Example #1So What?


Conclusion Paragraph Draft

Ultimately, because of the steps I took, I was successful in fighting the disease. I

was able to become healthy enough to attend my daughter’s wedding, and I no longer

worried about dying. Others suffering with cancer can learn an important lesson from

my experience: Don’t give up no matter how hopeless things may seem and always

get a second opinion from another doctor!

Example #1Example #1

The writer points out how the steps she took to fight cancer affected her and other people.

The writer discusses the importance of her topic by writing about the lessons that can be learned.


Look at the example below of a conclusion that refers back to the thesis statement and shows the reader the importance of the main idea of the essay.

Example #2Example #2Conclusion


Conclusion Paragraph

The decision to move to the United States was a difficult one for my parents to

make. Though I was angry with their decision at the time, I understand now that the

poor economy and political instability of my country forced them to immigrate.

Through this experience I learned that one simply cannot control all of life’s

circumstances. One must learn to deal with tough situations as they come and work

to be successful regardless of one’s location.

Example #2Example #2

The first two sentences

reemphasize the thesis statement.

The writer concludes by discussing the lessons learned from his experience.

Thesis Statement

There were several factors that caused my family to make the difficult decision

to immigrate to the United States.


Concluding an EssayConcluding an EssayTechniques

Some ways to enhance a conclusion are toinclude a…

Prediction

Recommendation

Quotation


Concluding an EssayConcluding an EssayA Prediction

A prediction talks about what might happen in the future. A prediction can be a good way to finish your essay. It can make your reader think about the possible results of your thesis statement.


PredictionPredictionExample

Finally, the importance of beginning a program to reforest parts of Haiti will be an important step in making thiscountry more economically self-sufficient. Without such aprogram in place, the people of this country will continue todestroy their natural resources for fuel in order to salvage theirpresent state of survival.

A program to reforest parts of Haiti is urgently needed.

Thesis Statement

A prediction is used to make the reader think about possible results of the thesis.


Concluding an EssayConcluding an EssayA Recommendation

A recommendation is often used by a writer after he/she has discussed a problem in an essay. A recommendation can be used to suggest a solution or call the readers to do something about the problem in the essay.


RecommendationRecommendationExample

As we have seen, international students face a numberof difficulties when coming to a new country to study.However, problems such as culture-shock and the languagebarrier can be lessened before a student comes to the newcountry through preparation. If you are considering going toschool in another country, you should begin learning about theculture, customs, and history of your host nation. Also, youshould be sure that you are proficient in the national languageor be sure to sign up for language classes once you are there.

A recommendation is used to suggest a solution to a problem.


Concluding an EssayConcluding an Essay“A Quotation”

A relevant quotation can bring goodclosure to your essay, especially if thequotation is from an expert on the topic inyour composition.

QuotationQuotationExample

David Werner, author of, Where There Is No Doctor,notes that, “Only when the people themselves become activelyresponsible for their own and their community’s health, canimportant changes take place.” This should be the mantra ofevery public health agency when looking at makingimprovements in common health problems. Unless acommunity understands the importance of the intervention andtakes responsibility for transformation, no long-lasting changeswill be made.

A quotation from an expert can be used to add credibility to a writer’s position.

A ConclusionA ConclusionUseful Transitions

It is sometimes helpful to have a transition at thebeginning of your conclusion to signal the end of youressay. Some common transitions used in conclusionsare listed below. Remember to use a comma after yourtransitions.

In conclusion,

In summary,

Thus,

Therefore,

To conclude,

In short,

A ConclusionA ConclusionExample of Transition Use

Thus, despite the advances in computer technology, the kind of computers that take on human characteristics often found in science-fiction movies are still a long way off.

The transition, thus, is used at the beginning of the conclusion to signal the end of the essay.

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The Introductory Paragraph References © 2001 by Ruth Luman The Paragraph that Hooks Your Reader Introduction ---------------- --------------