THE INTERNET

THE ENTIRE INTERNET THE WHOLE DAMN THINGEXPLAINED THROUGH A

MEDIOCRE KANSAS STATE FOOTBALL COACH

Ron Prince, former K-State head coach and 1997 Pritzker Prize Winner

WHO IS RONP?

AKA THE SLOGAN THAT WILL APPEAR ON BAGS OF EDSBS.COM STORE SHOPPERS WHO

PURCHASE OUR LINE OF SUPPORTIVE BUT FORGIVING HOT PANTS FOR MALE CROSSFITTERS

LONG WAY TO GO FOR A LULULEMON OBJECTIVIST JOKE BUT HERE WE ARE

AN ARISTOCRAT WHO REFUSED HIS FORTUNE FOR FORTUNE

• Ron Prince was the greatest coaching mind of his generation.

• Apprenticed with Bill Walsh, Bill Belichick, Jose Mourinho, Hal Mumme, Pete Carroll, Nick Saban, Hayden Fry, and Al Groh.

• At Kansas State 1983 to 2009 • Lifetime record of FAMOUS to zero. • Known for everything great. Made no mistakes

NEVER UNDERESTIMATE THE POWER OF CALL OF DUTY AS A POWERFUL CROWDSOURCING MEME FACTORY #RONP4RIOTSHIELDDEATH#RONP4CALLEDAGAYSLURBYA13YEAROLD#RONP4SLEEPDEPRIVATION

A LEGEND IS BORN

BACK TO THE SPORTING INTERNETIN 2005 THERE WAS NO INTERNET.

JUST A SERIES OF AWFUL POLITICAL WEBSITES

AND SPORTS FORUMS AND RECRUITING SITES

AND ROTTEN.COM

OH AND DON’T FORGET SPORTS BY BROOKS. LET’S FORGET SPORTS BY BROOKS. LET’S ALL DO THAT NOW.

INTERNETNESS, 2005

INTERNETNESS

FORUMSESPNCNNSI, ETCBLOGS

2005: PRINT FIRST, YOU LATER

NET RESULT: SNOBS AND METAFICTION FANS WEEP

• NO NICHE-ING – NONE – NO REALLY – IT WAS HORRIBLE– YOU HAD TO ARGUE WITH DUMB PEOPLE– DUMB PEOPLE WHO WEREN’T YOUR KIND OF

DUMB PEOPLE – DUMB PEOPLE WHO WROTE “YOU’RE KIND OF

PEOPLE”

AN ISSUE OF REVERENCE • THE BCS• THE BCS• THE BCS• THE BCS• PLAYERS GETTING PAID• THE ISSUE OF RIVALRY IN A SPORT WHERE EVERYTHING IS

CONTAMINATED BY RIVALRY • AN ACCEPTANCE, AND EVEN DEFENSE OF AN ABSURD

SITUATION. PROVIDE USEFUL EXAMPLES. SHOW NUDE PHOTOS. WAIT FOR APPLAUSE.

• ONLY RECOURSE: BILL SIMMONS

2006: THE SPORTING INTERNET

• FANHOUSE • SPORTS BY BROOKS• DEADSPIN• SMQ• THE MIGHTY MJD• SUICIDEGIRLS.COM• FREE DARKO• MGOBLOG • COLLEGE FOOTBALL NEWS

ROLES OF THE NON-LINEAR NARRATIVE IN SPORTING INTERNETNESS

•Aggregation (Diminishing returns) •Long-form•Full spectrum curation (yes that twee word) • the elements of sport that fall through cracks (i.e. cultural

attendants, see “Ohio State Library Masturbator, aka Carl Monday is watching you masturbate.” )• Cutting room floor business (extras, playbooks, artifacts,

anything not PG-rated)

•WAG School • Gossip • Muckraking • Dick pics

2012: THE SPORTING INTERNET

• WOULD YOU LIKE A SLIDESHOW OF 35 OF THE BEST RALLY CAR CRASHES EVER?

• WOULD YOU LIKE AN ARTICLE THAT LINKS TO AN ARTICLE FOOLISH ENOUGH TO NOT PERFECTLY SEO-IZE ITS CONTENT

• 15,000,000 other websites • Networks (SBN,

Yardbarker, ETC.) • Grantland • YAHOO (AKA AOL 2012) • Single author sites • Team bloggers • Wee little satire sites • TWITTER ALL CAPS

IMPORTANT

MEME BUILDING

Oh yes let’s build some memes And possibly some macros

And in turn give metafiction all the validation it could ever want

IDENTITY POLITICS (AND XMAS SWEATERS)

THE THING is beheld TWICE

• The thing lets you in the door.

• The thing makes you coffee.

• The thing is BEHELD from proximity and evaluated against future interactions and potential risk

• The thing is EVALUATED

• The thing is BEHELD• The thing is VERY FAR

AWAY• The thing reminds you of

something or someone else for some reason

• The thing is EVALUATED• The thing is possibly

PHOTOSHOPPED or MOCKED

WHY MEME AT ALL?

• Long-form• Quick reax• Fiskyness • Analysis

– Smarter– Faster– In-depth

• Not pitching to n00bs

• Community• Differentiation• Exclusivity• You don’t want everyone

after a certain point• Straight sites can’t do it• Having an intellectual or

temperamental cover charge – 3 day waiting period– Being a bit bent

CASE STUDY: THE CURIOUS CASE OF THE ANNOUNCER AND FIVE HOOKERS IN THE NIGHT-TIME

CRAIG JAMES: THE SAGA

• Helicopter Dads kid into scholarship

• Kid is lazy, doesn’t play• Kid gets injured, James

blows it up into “imprisonment” with help of sketchy PR firm

• James feeds to ESPN• Leach is fired

THE GRAND AFTERSHOCKS• Leach countered• Very damaging to ESPN’s rep • Feldman case escalated this• And in a lonely comment

thread, someone asks an important question

• TOP FIVE RESULTS! Campaign response!

• Now replaced by “Gays will have to answer to God.”

THE SPORTS CYCLE, 2012

INTERNETNESS, 2012

WHERE IS THIS GOING?

• MACRO– Further consolidation – ESPN: one large, loud, yelling question mark – Bleacher Report/SBN– NBC: intrigue!– FoxSports.com is [ummmmm] – CBS, land of capital investment– League sites (NFL, MLB, etc) • Collegiate side, see Texas, FL

MICRO: Be your own cake boss