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THE HISTORY OF BELFIELD
Pilot
“The Dolphin Clause”
Written byJoe Webb
1855 East Rose, Apt. 9-DOrange, California [email protected]
1
THE HISTORY OF BELFIELD
TEASER
MONDAY, MAY 25, 2009 – BELFIELD, ILLINOIS
FADE IN:
BACKGROUND MUSIC – Arctic Monkeys, “Mardy Bum”
EXT. BELFIELD TOWN SQUARE - MORNING
Under bright blue skies, we open on an extremely quirky small town square. In the center of the square is a grassy island, with a bronze statue of a young man throwing down a royal flush in a game of poker with three old-time cowboys staring in disbelief as a fifth man stands to the side with a pistol cocked. Next to the statue is a banner which reads “BELFIELD BULLETS – 2008 IHSA SKEET-SHOOTING CHAMPIONS!!!” In the background is a small county courthouse, and rising behind the courthouse is a water-tower built in the shape of a Civil War era rifle. The camera pans to take in three small town-square style shops – JACKSON BROS. INSURANCE AND COFFEE SHOP, where people are seated in the windows drinking coffee, HORSESHOES AND HAND-GRENADES, with a sign that reads “HOME OF THE ORIGINAL BELFIELD RIFLE,” and PALAZZO’S PIZZA. After taking this in, the camera moves across the square to BELFIELD TOWN HALL, directly across the island from the courthouse, and focuses in on a second story window.
ZOOM INTO:
INT. TOWN HALL MAYOR’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
In a spacious office with windows overlooking the square, Jamie Belfield – 28 years old, sits behind a large oak desk. On the wall behind him, between the two windows, is the huge bronze seal of the CITY OF BELFIELD. Jamie, of thin build and medium height with slightly shaggy hair, is staring intently at a small black electronic contraption that rests on his desk as he rubs his temples in confusion. Across the desk, Kenny Triplett, also 28, but extremely tall and angular, has folded himself into a chair and is eagerly watching Jamie examine the device.
JAMIE
2
So what is it, Kenny? Because I’m not gonna lie, it looks a lot like a shower radio.
KENNYOh no – I can see how you might think… - well, maybe there’s a resemblance, but… - I’m sorry, it’s called the Belfield Hydrometer, Mr. Mayor.
JAMIERight. The Belfield Hydrometer. Number one – why’s it called that?
KENNYWhat do you mean?
JAMIEI mean, your last name’s Triplett. Shouldn’t it be called the Triplett Hydrometer?
KENNYYour dad said he wouldn’t buy it if I didn’t name it after the town.
JAMIEHmmm. Number two – what’s it do?
KENNYYou mean, like does it have any special features, other than being a hydrometer?
JAMIENo, I mean, I’ve been writing a book on the Civil War for the last 5 years and I’m not real up on my science. What’s it do, Kenny?
KENNYOh, of course! You see this photo-eye right here? It sends a laser beam into the atmosphere to determine the exact moisture content of the air, and then, using short-length radio-waves, it transmits that data back to the Time and Temp hotline at the bank and tells people with 100-percent accuracy whether or not it’s going to rain!
Jamie takes a second to pick up the device.
3
JAMIESo, in a way, it is a shower radio, then.
KENNYHuh?
JAMIENever mind. And he was gonna spend 28-grand for one of these things?
KENNYYes and no. You’ll actually need to buy four.
JAMIEFour?
KENNYI have to erect a tower at each corner of the town so that the hydrometers can quadrangulate for the most accurate zone readings.
JAMIEOf course. And the cost of the towers?
KENNYWell, obviously that’s included with the purchase of the devices – because it’s for the city.
Jamie pauses for a second to consider this, then mumbles under his breath…
JAMIEObviously.
KENNYSo what do you think?
FREEZE TO:
FROZEN SHOT – INT. MAYOR’S OFFICE – CONTINUOUS
JAMIE (V.O.)What do I think, Kenny? Well, not to be an asshole on my first day in office, but…
CUT TO:
4
FROZEN SHOT – EXT. TENNIS COURTS, “1999”
Kenny is following through on a tennis smash. The ball is pressed against the bottom of the net. Two Indian teenagers pump their fists in the foreground of the shot as Jamie holds his hands on his hips in the background.
JAMIE (V.O.)I think, for one thing – that we wouldn’t have lost that sectional match to the Patel Twins in 1999 if you hadn’t dumped every overhead into the bottom of the net.
CUT TO:
FROZEN SHOT – INT. MAYOR’S OFFICE, “1988”
A picture of Big Jim in his leather desk chair.
JAMIE (V.O.)And for another, I think it’s unfortunate that right now I’m sitting in my father’s chair…
CUT TO:
FROZEN SHOT – EXT. CITY HALL, “1939”
A daytime shot of Jamie, with mustache, in 1930s period clothing cutting a ribbon before a large crowd standing in front of a two-story brick town hall.
JAMIE (V.O.)…in the city hall that my grandfather built…
CUT TO:
FROZEN SHOT – EXT. COURTHOUSE, “1898”
A daytime shot of Jamie, with mustache, in 1890s period clothing cutting a ribbon before a large crowd standing in front of a county courthouse.
JAMIE (V.O.)…overlooking the courthouse that his father built…
CUT TO:
5
FROZEN SHOT – INT. MAYOR’S OFFICE, “MAY 25, 2009”
The camera focuses on the Belfield Hydrometer.
JAMIE (V.O.)…and am about to tell you that I think it’s an extremely stupid idea to spend more than a hundred thousand dollars on four of these devices that do exactly what the human eye can do by looking at the sky.
RETURN TO:
INT. MAYOR’S OFFICE – SLIGHT REWIND OF TIME
KENNY So what do you think?
JAMIEI’m sorry, buddy, but I think I’m gonna have to pass.
KENNYPass?!? This is Belfield, Jamie! We’re a beacon of scientific innovation. We’ve got the solar-powered fire trucks and the gun-shaped water tower! You’ve got to honor your family’s legacy.
JAMIESure, I realize that, buddy – that’s why I’m here. But it just doesn’t seem like the best idea to spend $112,000 on machines that will tell people whether or not they need an umbrella.
Kenny now stands, placing his hands on his hips.
KENNYSo that’s how you’re going to play it? I was counting on that money.
JAMIEYou live with your mom, Ken.
KENNY
6
But you’re the mayor now! We were high school doubles partners, right?
JAMIESure, but what’s that got to do with this?
KENNYI don’t know. You were always so supportive in high school – you were the biggest athletic supporter I’ve ever had. I thought you’d be more supportive of my science, too.
Kenny sniffles, trying to hold back his tears.
JAMIEKenny, an athletic supporter is a jock-strap.
KENNYYou know what I meant…
JAMIEAnd look, it’s only temporary, right? But for now, while I’m filling in for my dad, I’ve got to do what I think is smart. Okay?
KENNYYeah, I understand.
JAMIEGood. Now go home and try to come up with something else to sell the city.
Jamie pats Kenny on the shoulder as he walks him to the door. As Kenny exits the office, Jamie closes the door behind him and walks over to the window.
JAMIEThis town.
CUT TO:
MAIN TITLESEND OF TEASER
7
MAIN TITLE SEQUENCE
BACKGROUND MUSIC – Gorillaz, “Clint Eastwood”
FROZEN SHOT – PORTRAIT OF QUINCY BELFIELD
We begin with a large sepia-toned portrait of Jamie Belfield, only he is wearing a Union Army Civil War uniform and has an enormous handlebar mustache.
JAMIE (V.O.)In 1854, Quincy Belfield, the 17-year-old black-sheep son of Harvard President Hezekiah Belfield…
FROZEN SHOT – PORTRAIT OF A 60-YEAR-OLD MAN
JAMIE (V.O.)…shot this man…
FROZEN SHOT – PORTRAIT OF A 45-YEAR-OLD WOMAN
JAMIE (V.O.)…in a duel over this lady.
FROZEN SHOT – CAMBRIDGE, MASSACHUSETTS CITY JAIL
JAMIE (V.O.)Rather than go to this jail…
FROZEN SHOT – JAMIE W/ MUSTACHE ON HORSEBACK
JAMIE (V.O.)…he stole one of his father’s horses and headed west in the middle of the night.
FROZEN SHOT – MICHAEL JACKSON, W/ MUSTACHE, HOLDING A GUN
JAMIE (V.O.)Along the way, he met this man…
FROZEN SHOT – JAMIE DEALING FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE DECK
JAMIE (V.O.)…who taught him how to cheat at poker.
8
FROZEN SHOT – A REMOTE RAIL-ROAD CROSSING WITH EIGHT HOUSES
JAMIE (V.O.)When they reached a small rail-road outpost in Illinois called Peg-Town…
FROZEN SHOT – FOUR MEN SEATED AROUND A SALOON CARD-TABLE
JAMIE (V.O.)…Quincy took three frontiersmen for everything they owned, including Peg-Town…
FROZEN SHOT – OLD HAND-PAINTED “WELCOME TO BELFIELD” SIGN
JAMIE (V.O.)…which he renamed the City of Belfield.
FROZEN SHOT – JAMIE BELFIELD, LEADING A UNION REGIMENT
JAMIE (V.O.)After the Civil War, due to his bravery in battle, and his invention of the deadly Belfield Rifle, Colonel Belfield was awarded…
FROZEN SHOT – OVERHEAD MAP OF CENTRAL ILLINOIS
JAMIE (V.O.)…several enormous tracts of land adjacent to the railroad crossing by Illinois’s governor…
MULTIPLE FROZEN SHOTS – PORTRAITS OF EACH BELFIELD MAYOR
JAMIE (V.O.)…and ever since that moment, a Belfield male has held the office of mayor in the City of Belfield.
FROZEN SHOT – JAMIE BELFIELD, HOLDING THE HYDROMETER
JAMIE (V.O.)Right now, unfortunately, and temporarily, this post belongs to me. My name is Jamie, and this is the History of Belfield.
END MAIN TITLE SEQUENCE
9
ACT ONE
“THREE WEEKS EARLIER” – CAMBRIDGE, MASSACHUSETTS
FADE IN:
INT. THE BACK-ROOM OF A CLASSY RESTAURANT – EVENING
Jamie is seated at a private dinner party with his blue-blooded fiancée Katie Winthrop, and her distinguished parents, Percy and Margaret. He is accompanied by his father, a blustery former star athlete at the University of Illinois named Big Jim Belfied, his rather sensible mother, Emily, and his mildly retarded fourteen-year-old brother Curtis, who has a strange preoccupation with bread. His grandma, Viola Belfield, a crazy old woman, sits at the head of the table. Percy taps on his glass to signal his intention of making a toast, and stands.
JAMIE (V.O.)Okay, let’s rewind a bit. Maybe this isn’t exactly the History of Belfield, at least not the kind with footnotes and extensive cross-references that I have to write for the JAH.
CUT TO:
FROZEN SHOT – JOURNAL OF AMERICAN HISTORY COVER
On the cover: “Economics (Ulysses S.) Granted: A Marxist Interpretation of the Siege of Vicksburg,” by Jamie Belfield.
RETURN TO:
INT. RESTAURANT BACK ROOM - CONTINUOUS
JAMIE (V.O.)Maybe this is more like the story of my return to Belfield – and so I probably shouldn’t have started with Kenny and his Belfield Hydrometer. I probably should have started three weeks earlier, at the graduation dinner where Katie’s parents met my family for the second time. Katie’s my fiancée, and the kind of effeminate Boston Brahmin-looking guy with the neckerchief? That’s her dad, Percy.
10
PERCYIf it’s not too much trouble, I’d like to start the evening off with a toast.
CURTISToast! Toast! Toast is made of bread!
CUT TO:
FROZEN SHOT – A YOUNG CURTIS BEFORE THE WONDER-BREAD MUSEUM
JAMIE (V.O.)My younger brother Curtis really likes bread.
RETURN TO:
INT. RESTAURANT BACK ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Emily Belfield pats her youngest son on the shoulder.
EMILYThat’s right, honey. Toast is made of bread. Now eat a few of your crackers while we wait for dinner.
CURTISCrackers are made out of really hard bread!
Percy coughs once to clear his throat, shooting a quizzical look at the young bread fanatic.
PERCYHe does know how to leaven the situation, huh?
Percy laughs at his own joke. No one else does.
PERCY (CONT.)Well, anyway, first of all, I’d like to welcome the Belfield family back to Boston. We’ve waited a long time for this moment, and we’re excited that you’re all here.
The group all raises their glasses to take a drink.
11
PERCY (CONT.)Now, that being said, I know we didn’t exactly get off on the right foot last visit…
VIOLAThat’s because you think Big Jim is a gorilla, and he thinks you’re a pansy!
CUT TO:
FROZEN SHOT – VIOLA SHAKING HER FIST AT A GARDENER
JAMIE (V.O.)And that’s Viola – my grandmother. Ninety years old, angry at the world, and in this instance, perfectly correct.
CUT TO:
FROZEN SHOT – DVD COVER – SLY STALLONE’S OVER THE TOP
JAMIE (V.O.)When my father first met Percy, he had been watching a lot of Over the Top…
CUT TO:
FROZEN SHOT – BIG JIM FLEXING HIS BICEP IN PERCY’S FACE
JAMIE (V.O.)…and within fifteen minutes of meeting my future father-in-law, Big Jim challenged him to an arm-wrestling match. It’s hard to say whether Percy was more appalled at the offer, or my dad was more appalled that the offer was declined.
RETURN TO:
INT. RESTAURANT BACK ROOM - CONTINUOUS
Big Jim chortles.
BIG JIM EMILYZinger! Mom! Be nice.
12
PERCYExcellent repartee, Viola! Huzzah! But this time will be different. This time we’re here to celebrate, as of Saturday, our two new graduates – my lovely daughter Katie, who will be wasting her time teaching kindergarten in Rhode Island…
KATIEDad!
MARGARETBut wouldn’t your time be better spent volunteering for the D.A.R. darling? It’s so bourgeois for a woman to work.
PERCY…and the newest addition to the Brown University Department of History, our own professor, Dr. Jamie Belfield!
The group applauds the two new graduates, and offers up cheers of “here, here.”
PERCY (CONT.)To the coming union of our two families!
BIG JIMTo family!
Underneath the table, Katie squeezes Jamie’s hand and whispers in his ear.
KATIEIt’s going much better this time.
JAMIESo far.
KATIEDo you think…?
But before her thought can be completed, Big Jim stands up at the head of the table, indicating that he would like to make a toast as well. Just, however, as he is about to speak, Big Jim clutches his left arm, and falls face first into the table. This sends Percy and Margaret, who shout
13
“Call 911! Call 911!,” into a panic. The Belfield clan, however, has an altogether different reaction.
EMILY VIOLAGoddamn it, Jim! Good one, sonny!
JAMIE (V.O.)And that’s when my Dad had his heart attack...
CUT TO:
INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM – NIGHT
The group has now relocated to an emergency room waiting area. Percy shuffles nervously in a corner, while Curtis gnaws on a breadstick. Katie is comforting Jamie, who sits in a chair, and Viola looks dumbfounded.
JAMIE (V.O.)…only, the thing was, at first no one in my family believed it was a real one, due to Big Jim’s penchant for faking massive coronaries whenever he was involved in a situation that he found uncomfortable or boring. Like, for instance, at a Rotary Club meeting in 2005…
CUT TO:
FROZEN SHOT – INT. LARGE RECEPTION HALL
Belfield’s leading citizens are seated at tables, watching the BELFIELD ELEMENTARY SCHOOL GLEE CLUB perform. Big Jim, seated at the podium, clutches his left arm.
JAMIE (V.O.)…when he could no longer stand a fourteen-minute performance of the folk song “Cripple Creek” by the Belfield Elementary School’s Glee Club. Or last year…
CUT TO:
FROZEN SHOT – INT. PIANO RECITAL ROOM
Curtis is seated at a piano. Emily looks on proudly from the front row as Big Jim clutches his left arm.
14
JAMIE (V.O.)…during Curtis’s piano recital, where my younger brother anesthetized the crowd with the greatest hits of the 1970s folk rock group Bread.
RETURN TO:
INT. HOSPITAL WAITING ROOM – CONTINUOUS
JAMIE (V.O.)And so, it took us about five extra minutes to actually call an ambulance, which turned out to be an extremely tragic reinforcement of the old “Boy Who Cried Wolf” story.
KATIE(to Jamie)
You think he’ll be all right?
JAMIEI don’t know. I wish we would have called the ambulance sooner.
VIOLAI thought the dumb son-of-a-bitch was faking it! Like his father at that hoity-toity rehearsal dinner with your parents, Emily. You remember?
EMILYI remember, Mom.
Jamie stands up and begins pacing the room.
JAMIEHow much longer do you think we’ll have to wait to hear something?
KATIEMy dad’s on the board – he’s trying to get someone to let your mom back there.
JAMIEThat’s good, I guess.
A doctor emerges from the back room, nods at Percy, who acknowledges with a…
15
PERCYRichard.
…and then heads over to Emily.
DOCTOR (RICHARD)Mrs. Belfield? I’m sorry, there was nothing we could do. If he could have gotten here maybe even two or three minutes faster there would have been a chance, but… - he’s gone.
Jamie rushes over to hug his mother, who begins to cry. Percy and Margaret stare down at their feet. Viola pulls a flask from her purse and takes an enormous gulp, then offers it to Katie.
JAMIE (V.O.)And so that weekend, rather than walk across the stage in my Harvard Crimson, we flew back home to Belfield to bury my father – and to let the town know that someone would have to shortly fill his enormous, size seventeen, shoes.
CUT TO:
SATURDAY, MAY 9, 2009 – O’HARE INTL. AIRPORT: CHICAGO, IL
INT. AIRPORT – DAYTIME
Jamie and Katie emerge from a tunnel, each carrying a large bag, where they are greeted by Jamie’s best friend from Belfield, Michael Jackson, of JACKSON BROS. INSURANCE AND COFFEE SHOP. Michael walks over to Jamie and gives him the bro-hug.
JAMIE (V.O.)At the airport, Katie and I were greeted by my longtime Belfield friend Michael Jackson…
CUT TO:
FROZEN SHOT – “THE BAD DANGEROUS THRILLERS” IN CONCERT
Michael, wearing one sequined glove and a high tech vest, sings into a microphone at the Belfield Civic Center.
16
JAMIE (V.O.)…whose name was even more bizarre when you considered his role as lead singer in the weekend tribute band – “The Bad Dangerous Thrillers” – and his equally coincidental marriage to Belfield’s own Lisa Marie Westcott.
RETURN TO:
INT. AIRPORT – CONTINUOUS FROM EARLIER
MICHAELHey buddy, you made it.
JAMIEWe made it.
MICHAELAnd this must be Katie?
JAMIERight, sorry. Katie, this is Michael.
KATIE(smiling)
Of Jackson Bros. Insurance and Coffee?
Michael walks over to hug Katie, who looks a little confused at the gesture, and takes her bag.
MICHAELThat’s me. Nice to finally meet you. Wish it were under better circumstances.
Katie nods agreement as the trio begins moving through a parking garage.
MICHAEL (CONT.)So, how you doing with all this, man?
JAMIEI don’t know. It’s kind of hard to believe something could kill a guy who once made 23 tackles in the Rose Bowl with a broken leg.
MICHAELI know.
17
JAMIEHow’s the town doing with it?
MICHAELDisbelief, like you. And waiting for the Sylvia Rathman versus Frank Porter showdown.
KATIESylvia Rathman versus Frank Porter?
JAMIEThey’re town council members – and they both think they’re the heir apparent.
KATIEAlready?
JAMIEBelfield’s a strange place.
Michael stops in the parking garage behind a Saab station wagon, pulls out his keys, and hits the trunk button.
CUT TO:
Saturday, May 9, 2009 – BELFIELD, ILLINOIS
INT. MICHAEL’S SAAB STATION WAGON – TWO HOURS LATER
BACKGROUND MUSIC – Band of Horses, “Ode to LRC”
Pulling off Interstate 57, Michael leads Katie and Jamie past a rifle-shaped sign that reads “WELCOME TO BELFIELD.”
KATIESo, this is it? I can’t believe I’ve never been here before.
JAMIEWell, you’ve heard the stories… and, WHOA!
Jamie and Katie jump back in horror as Michael NEARLY SMASHES a group of three pedestrians in bright red shirts. When this same phenomenon occurs a second time, Katie nudges Jamie and whispers in his ear.
18
KATIEWhat the hell was that?
JAMIE(to Katie, whispering)
I don’t know.
He then clears his throat to offer a suggestion.
JAMIE (CONT.)Hey Mike? Umm, shouldn’t you maybe slow down a little bit? You just about killed that family.
Michael cocks his head in confusion, then, after a moment, registers what Jamie has been talking about.
MICHAELOh, right. The people in the red shirts? Yeah, they’re not real.
JAMIE Not real?
MICHAELNo, like six months ago, Kenny designed this holographic speed trap program. If you don’t slow down to exactly 27 miles an hour, then you run right through someone wearing a red shirt – and you get an electronic ticket mailed to your house. I’m only going 26.
JAMIEOh. Well, we should be fine then.
MICHAELRight. By the way, the system’s a nightmare to insure.
KATIESo that’s what all those billboard were about?
JAMIEThe ones warning people not to wear red shirts? I just assumed Belfield had declared itself for the Cripps in that old Blood-Cripp rivalry.
19
MICHAELNot yet anyways, but after the fifth or sixth time a tourist drove right through a holograph and lost control of his vehicle in the confusion, we figured we’d better put up a sign. Still…
CUT TO:
FROZEN SHOT – A 1979 PONTIAC CRASHED INTO A GAZEBO
MICHAEL (CONT.)…it hasn’t really worked. Some guy from Danville took out Frank’s gazebo last week.
RETURN TO:
INT. MICHAEL’S SAAB STATION WAGON - CONTINUOUS
JAMIECouldn’t have happened to a nicer guy.
Michael nods ironically, and the car cruises along at 26 miles an hour for a few quiet seconds, until they reach the town square.
KATIEJackson Bros. Insurance and Coffee Shop! There it is!
JAMIEStill looks the same. Actually, everything looks the same, except for, uh… - Hey Mike, where the hell is everybody? – …I mean other than the fake people in the red shirts.
MICHAELIn there.
Michael points at the town’s municipal headquarters, and the camera follows his indication.
KATIEThat’s the City Hall your grandfather built?
JAMIEThat’s the one. What’s going on in there, man?
20
MICHAELTown meeting.
The camera, still fixed on the City Hall, focuses in on a first floor window, and we…
DISSOLVE TO:
INT. CITY HALL, COUNCIL CHAMBERS – CONTINUOUS
In a large room with many audience chairs (but no actual members in the audience), the Belfield City Council is locked in a heated closed-door argument. At the front of the room sit four council members at a head table, each with a large bronze plaque before them indicating their name and position. From left to right, we have ALVIN GERBER, PARKS COMMISSIONER, SYLVIA RATHMAN, SEWAGE COMMISSIONER, FRANK PORTER, STREETS COMMISSIONER, and BERT NIEBRUGGE, SCIENTIFIC INNOVATIONS LIAISON. Sylvia, approximately 45 years old with slight cougar tendencies and dyed platinum hair, is screaming at Frank, a rather bookish looking town librarian and busy-body.
JAMIE (V.O.)In fact, inside that town meeting, it seems that the inevitable Sylvia Rathman vs. Frank Porter showdown that the town eagerly anticipated was already well under way.
FRANKI’m telling you Sylvia that any reasonable, logical plan of succession for the new mayor has to be based on seniority. Your first term started in 1996, mine started in 1994. Ergo – I’m the acting mayor! It’s about leadership.
SYLVIAOh, kiss my ass, Frank! You want to talk about leadership? Who expanded the sewage system to Briarwood Annex when all those septic systems crashed? What have you done?
FRANKWhat have I done? Who championed Kenny’s holograph system? Who convinced you that three-way traffic on Main Street was a stupid idea?
21
FRANK (CONT.)And who started the guns for tires program to keep people from burning their rubber?
SYLVIAThree way traffic is not a stupid idea!
ALVINHey! Hold on a minute, you two!
FRANK SYLVIAShut up, Alvin! Shut up, Alvin!
SYLVIAYou know what, Franklin? Let’s do it this way? Whose position is more important? Streets or sewers?
FRANKClearly, it’s the Street Department.
SYLVIAWell, we’ll see about that. I tell you what - when this crowd of 500 people files back in here, feel free to announce yourself the acting mayor. But, you’d better be prepared for the Sewage Department to go on strike. We’ll see how well you govern Belfield when the entire city is swimming in backed-up…
ALVINShut it down, Sylvia! In case either of you has forgotten the town by-laws, maybe I should remind you that we have a legally binding system of succession in place.
SYLVIAThe Dolphin Clause?
FRANKIt’s the Dauphin Clause! Or didn’t they teach you any French History at that Cosmetology College you went to?
CUT TO:
22
FROZEN SHOT – INT. SYLVIA’S SALON – “1996”
Sylvia has a cigarette dangling from her lips as she perfectly coifs a layered haircut for a client.
JAMIE (V.O.)It’s true – Sylvia had attended the Belfield County School of Cosmetology, and had built her constituency in the mid-1990s largely on her ability to perfectly mimic the haircut that Jennifer Aniston had worn during the first few seasons of Friends. In her defense, however…
CUT TO:
FROZEN SHOT – BELFIELD CITY HALL, 1879
Quincy (Jamie) Belfield, with mustache, holds a biography of King Louis XIV in one hand; in the other, he holds a pistol that is cocked at the four members of the city council (played by the four current members). All wear mustaches, including Sylvia, who is dressed as a man.
JAMIE (V.O.)…Quincy Belfield’s love of the French Bourbon kings, and his insistence, at gun-point, that the 1879 Belfield City Council approve a plan of hereditary succession based on the French laws of primogeniture, was a little confusing.
CUT TO:
FROZEN SHOT – “CHRISTMAS MORNING, 1988”
Big Jim smiles on as a 7-year-old Jamie Belfield has ripped the wrapping paper off of a Christmas present and is holding up an authentic Dan Marino Dolphins jersey.
JAMIE (V.O.)Also, she wasn’t the only one who had trouble with the whole Dolphin-Dauphin terminology in the “Belfield City By-Laws.” Every year at Christmas, my father gave me an autographed Dan Marino jersey and called me his “little Dolphin.” Perhaps this explains his later fascination with the movie Ace Ventura: Pet Detective.
23
RETURN TO:
INT. CITY HALL, COUNCIL CHAMBERS – CONTINUOUS
SYLVIADauphin, Dolphin, whatever. I thought Bert rewrote that last year.
ALVINBert was drunk last year.
BERT(shrugging his shoulders)
So what? I’ve been drunk since 1984, and I’ve never missed a meeting. I just thought I might be lucky enough for you two to kill each other if something like this happened.
FRANKYou were hoping Big Jim would die? You’re a sick bastard, Bert.
BERTAnd you weren’t?
Frank pauses a second to consider this, then looks down at the table.
SYLVIASo that’s where we’re at?
Sylvia awaits a response to her rhetorical question.
SYLVIA (CONT.)He won’t want to do it.
ALVINWell, I move that we ask him anyway - at least until we can figure out how to hold a legal election.
BERTSecond!
24
ALVINAll those in favor of enacting the Dauphin Clause?
Bert and Alvin raise their hands. Alvin turns expectantly towards Frank and Sylvia.
FRANKYou’ll rewrite the bylaws, Bert?
Bert nods.
FRANK (CONT.)And we can hold a special election once you do?
BERTEnd of July, at the latest. He’ll need to get out to Rhode Island.
SYLVIAOh, what the hell.
Sylvia raises her hand, and elbows Frank in the stomach, who does the same.
FRANKAnd what do we tell the crowd?
ALVINI think until we know what his answer will be, we’d better tell them we’re still sifting through the technicalities. Because if we explain to them the Dauphin Clause, and Jamie turns us down, then that will make Curtis the mayor.
SYLVIABread sandwiches for everyone!
Everyone giggles slightly, then uncomfortably realizes that they’ve just made fun of a beloved, mildly-retarded child.
ALVINShould we let the crowd back in?
SYLVIAI suppose… - NO, WAIT! Bert, hand me that flask.
BERT
25
What flask?
SYLVIAThe one you take with you everywhere.
As Bert passes his flask down to Sylvia, Frank moves towards the chamber doors. He looks back at the council, throws the doors open, and an enormous, standing-room only crowd files into the room.
END OF ACT ONE
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ACT TWO
FADE IN:
BACKGROUND MUSIC – Hold Steady, “Stuck Between Stations”
EXT. BELFIELD MANOR – NIGHT
We open the second act with an establishing shot of the Belfield’s family manor. It is a large, Georgian plantation sitting high on a hill overlooking the city, reinforcing the Kennedy-esque nature of the Belfield family in East-Central Illinois.
CUT TO:
INT. CURTIS’S TOASTER-OVEN / ELWOOD BLUES ROOM – CONTINUOUS
Katie is unpacking her suitcase in a room where the walls are nearly covered with posters of The Blues Brothers, and half-a-dozen shelves are filled with a bizarre collection of antique toaster ovens. Jamie, wearing an old Tom Waits tee-shirt, opens the door, looks around at the toaster ovens, and plops down on the bed.
JAMIE (V.O.)That night, after getting situated in my old bedroom, I walked down the hall to grab Katie, who had elected to stay in one of Belfield Manor’s four guest rooms. Unfortunately for Katie, Curtis had, over the course of the last three years, systematically turned each of the guest rooms into a series of bread-related museums. Given the choice of Irrigation, Yeast, Threshing, or Toast, she chose Toast. All in all, this was probably the safest bet.
KATIEMan, your brother has a lot of toaster ovens.
JAMIEThe kid likes bread.
KATIEYou know, you never told me why.
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JAMIEA couple of years back, the doctor thought Curtis might have a wheat-gluten allergy – and he’d never really been all that crazy about bread before, but I guess the thought of losing it…
KATIEThat’s actually kind of sweet.
JAMIEKind of…
KATIE(pointing at the toaster ovens)
You think he’ll mind if I move a couple of these so I can put my stuff on the shelves?
JAMIEProbably not. But you know you can stay in my room if you want. We don’t really have many rules involving propriety around here.
KATIEI know. I just feel like Percy and Margaret would find out somehow. They’re weirdly omniscient.
JAMIEThat they are – and like I said, it’s up to you.
Jamie rolls over on the bed, kisses Katie on the forehead, and springs to his feet.
JAMIE (CONT.)You ready?
KATIEFor my first experience at Palazzo’s Pizza? Do I look all right?
Katie is wearing a cashmere sweater, designer jeans, and a string of pearls.
JAMIEYou might be a little overdressed.
KATIE
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Really? In this? Should I change?
JAMIENo, you look great. This just isn’t Boston.
KATIEOkay – as long as you’re not embarrassed by your uppity east-coast girlfriend?
JAMIEAre you kidding? My great-great-great-grandfather was Hezekiah Belfield – the original Boston Brahmin!
As the two begin walking toward the door, Katie pauses at the light switch.
KATIEBy the way, what’s up with all the Blues Brothers posters?
JAMIEElwood Blues ate only dry, white toast.
KATIEWas that Dan Akroyd or the other guy?
JAMIEThe other guy? You mean John Belushi?
KATIESo it was him?
JAMIENo, it was the other guy – Dan Akroyd.
CUT TO:
INT. PALAZZO’S PIZZA – NIGHT
Michael Jackson and his wife Lisa Marie are seated at a table for four in the kind of greasy, small-town pizza place that still has formica tables from the 1970s. When Jamie and Katie enter the front door, a bell taps against the glass, and as they approach the table, Lisa Marie stands to hug them each.
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LISA MARIEOh my God, it’s true! You look just like Audrey Hepburn! Michael said you look just like Audrey Hepburn – and you do!
CUT TO:
FROZEN SHOT – MICHAEL AND LISA MARIE’S WEDDING
Michael is standing next to Lisa Marie at the alter. He is wearing one-glove and a sequined vest.
JAMIE (V.O.)And this, ladies and gentlemen, is Mrs. Michael Jackson…
CUT TO:
FROZEN SHOT – WESTCOTT COAL-MINING CORPORATION
A man wearing an Elvis-impersonator’s costume and a hard-hat digs a shovel into the ground at a groundbreaking ceremony.
JAMIE (V.O.)…the daughter of Central-Illinois coal-mining magnate, Elvis Westcott.
RETURN TO:
INT. PALAZZO’S PIZZA – CONTINUOUS FROM EARLIER
JAMIEKatie, this is Lisa Marie. Lisa Marie, this is Katie.
KATIEIt’s nice to meet you.
LISA MARIEOh my God, I’m sorry – I guess we hadn’t been formally introduced – I just…well Michael talked so much about you…I feel like I already know you!
KATIE(slightly blushing)
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That’s nice. Well, should we sit down?
LISA MARIEOf course, of course, of course! Now, Jamie, Michael says you’re compartmentalizing. Are you really doing okay with everything?
JAMIEYeah, I’m really okay. You can only fake a heart attack so many times before it finally catches up to you. He went out the way he’d want to have gone.
MICHAELExcept, of course, in the finals of the world hot-dog eating contest.
JAMIEYou’re right – he would have liked that better.
LISA MARIESo much better – I remember that time when the little Japanese guy Kobayashi came for that hot-dog eating exhibition, I thought Big Jim was going to…
But before Lisa Marie can finish her sentence, the group is joined by a fifth member, Gina Palazzo, who is wearing an Arcade Fire tee-shirt and a waitress’s apron. Gina, whose hair is pulled back into an effortless pony-tail, pulls up a chair from a nearby table, flips it around, and sits down in the chair backwards.
GINAAnd look what the cat dragged in! If it isn’t Belfield’s own prodigal son returned from the hallowed halls of Harvard.
JAMIEWell, now wasn’t that pleasant? And alliterative. How you doing, Gina?
GINAI’m good. How are you doing?
JAMIE
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All right – all things considered.
GINAYeah? You’re not just saying that because you’ve been listening to NPR?
KATIEThat’s funny! Jamie loves NPR.
Gina looks for a second at Katie taking her in.
GINAWell, really, who doesn’t love NPR? It’s what I put on the radio when I want to fall asleep while driving. And you must be Katie? I’m Gina.
KATIEHi.
There is an uncomfortable moment of silence, which Jamie breaks by asking…
JAMIESo you work at the pizza place now? I thought you went to law school.
GINAOuch! So did your blood just kind of naturally turn blue after six years at Harvard, or was there some kind of transfusion along the way that turned you into a snob who’s too good to talk to a lowly waitress?
Katie self-consciously plays with her strand of pearls as Jamie quickly responds…
JAMIEI didn’t mean…
GINADon’t worry about it – I just fill in for my Dad on nights when he goes fishing. I actually work at Randy’s law firm over on Gunpowder Lane. In fact, I’m doing your father’s probate work.
JAMIE
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Probate? My mom’s still alive – doesn’t everything just kind of go to her?
GINAMostly – but Big Jim co-owned a lot of property.
MICHAELLike the rifle range?
GINAExactly.
JAMIEWell, just don’t screw me out of my inheritance.
GINAThat’s a lot to ask considering the way you used to screw me in eleventh grade.
JAMIEHey, wait! We never…
CUT TO:
FROZEN SHOT – EXT. HABITAT FOR HUMANITY CONSTRUCTION SITE
A seventeen-year-old Jamie has attached a younger Gina to the frame wall of a house by screwing her overalls into a joist with a screw gun.
JAMIE (V.O.)And then I realized what she was talking about.
RETURN TO:
INT. PALAZZO’S PIZZA – CONTINUOUS
JAMIERight.
GINAIt’s okay. I always got down. You guys want your regular?
JAMIEYou still remember?
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GINAOne baco-roni pizza and a pitcher of Natural Light? How could I forget?
MICHAELYou’re the best, Gina.
Lisa Marie pinches Michael on the leg. He lets out a sharp, Michael Jackson, the singer, type of…
MICHAEL (CONT.)J’mon!!! Except for you, of course, darling. Oh right, the baby. Can you a bring a diet coke, too?
GINAComing right up.
As Gina walks away to punch in their order, Jamie follows her with his eyes slightly. Meanwhile, Katie whispers in his ear…
KATIEIs that just Bacon and Pepperoni?
JAMIEKind of. It’s genetically-engineered ostrich that tastes like a cross between bacon and pepperoni. Kenny came up with it during High School. You want something else?
KATIENo, it’s fine. I’ll just pick it off.
JAMIEYou sure?
KATIE Yeah.
A pause lingers for a second, until Gina returns with the pitcher of beer.
GINAAnd, one disgusting pitcher of Natural Light.
JAMIE
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Well now who’s the blue-blood?
Gina shrugs her shoulders.
GINAGross is gross…
JAMIE…as a dozen dozens.
LISA MARIEMy God you two think fast! I was gonna say something earlier, but then realized I was already three sentences behind.
JAMIEDon’t worry about it – no one wins a race with Gina.
GINA(smiling at Katie)
Now, that’s not entirely true.
Gina looks around at the relatively empty restaurant, then plops back down in the chair.
GINASo, I hear you’re giving the eulogy tomorrow?
JAMIEInteresting segue.
GINAWell, let’s hear it.
KATIENow? At the pizza place?
GINASure, if he doesn’t get it right, his grandmother will eat him alive, right?
MICHAELShe does have a point, Jamie. No one wants to be on Viola’s bad side.
Jamie looks around for a second at the empty diner.
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JAMIEWhat about the other customers?
GINAThe only other people in here are Kenny and his merry band of inventors – and trust me…it’ll take them at least another hour to decide on their order. Last I checked, they were still debating the proper fluorine to nicotine ratio in that new teeth-whitening smokeless tobacco thing they’re working on.
Jamie glances again at Katie, who, though she looks somewhat uncomfortable, shrugs her shoulders in acquiescence.
JAMIEWhat the hell.
He fills his glass with Natural Light, raises it in the air in the form of a toast, and takes a quick drink. As he begins, we…
CUT TO:
INT. BELFIELD HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUM – DAYTIME
Inside the packed gym at the Belfield High School, a podium has been erected at one end of the basketball floor. Directly behind the podium, a large rifle is painted on the wall, above which reads “James Belfield Honorary Gymnasium: Home of the Belfield Bullets.” On either side of the rifle, two huge color posters have been blown up and hung, one showing Big Jim in his college football uniform; the other showing the entire Belfield family standing in front of the courthouse. At the bottom of the latter poster, a script reads “Merry Christmas from the Mayor – 2001.” Jamie Belfield, wearing a suit, stands at the podium.
JAMIEWell, I don’t really know how a eulogy is supposed to start, I’ve never given one before, but maybe I’ll just begin by saying how honored my father would have been to see you all gathered here today.
36
Jamie reaches down for a water glass, and catches his grandmother’s eye in the front row. She gives him an encouraging smile.
JAMIE (CONT.)And it would be easy to be sad at this moment, because we’re all going to miss him very much – but sadness isn’t what Big Jim would have wanted. What he would have wanted, and I know this, because he left very direct, if slightly misspelled directions in his will, is a celebration of his life. A celebration of the man who for the last thirty-one years served each and every day as your mayor.
A wave of applause breaks out slowly over the audience, many of whom are wearing black football jerseys, and gradually, the atmosphere shifts from funereal to that of a convention speech or a pep rally. Someone whistles in the crowd, and there are shouts of “We love you, Big Jim!” and “We’ll miss you, Big Guy!” Jamie quiets the applause like a politician.
JAMIE (CONT.)Thanks, thanks for that.
Jamie pulls out a pair of reading glasses from one pocket and a piece of folded paper from another. He puts the glasses on, and flattens the paper out on the podium.
JAMIE (CONT.)(now reading from the paper)
As far as I can tell, Big Jim had four great loves in his life. He loved his family, he loved this town, he loved University of Illinois football, and…he loved faking heart attacks at the most inappropriate of times…
The crowd erupts in laughter, as we undergo a…
SLIGHT TIME LAPSE,
RETURN TO:
INT. BELFIELD HIGH SCHOOL GYMNASIUM – MOMENTS LATER
37
JAMIE (CONT.)…so today, from this moment forward, there should be no more tears for a man whose nearly every life dream was fulfilled, and who hated sad funerals so much that at three separate points in his life he faked a heart attack just so he wouldn’t have to attend them. Now, before we all venture outside to the football field to watch my father’s highlights on the jumbo-tron, and to enjoy exactly 200 of his favorite Palazzo’s Pizzas, I’d like to ask you all to join my grandmother in the singing of the Belfield High School fight song – which was Big Jim’s final, I think, request.
Jamie nods at his grandmother and exits the stage. Viola rises, followed by Curtis, who is dressed like Elwood Blues and holding a tambourine, and steps to the microphone.
VIOLAAll right, you pansies! Let’s tear the rafters off of this place, and send Big Jim out with a bang!!!
Viola pulls a pitch pipe from her pocket, blows it into the microphone, and then commences the song.
THE WHOLE TOWN OF BELFIELD(Viola leading, Curtis accompanying)
“HERE’S THE BELFIELD RIFLEAIMED AT YOUR HEAD,
SHOOTING FURIOUS BULLETSTHAT WILL DROP YOU DEAD!
HEY! HEY! HEY!
IF YOU TEST OUR METTLE,YOU’LL FIND US TRUE.
SO COME ON, BELFIELD, FIGHT!FOR THE UNION GOLD AND BLUE.
B-E-L-F-IE-L-D!B-E-L-F-IE-L-D!
IF YOU WEAR OAKVILLE RED,A BULLET TO YOUR HEAD!!!”
After the song finishes, the auditorium becomes very still, and people lean forward in anticipation. A lone gunman,
38
wearing Civil War Regalia, walks to the center of the room, points his gun at the ceiling and fires once, causing the crowd to break into VIOLENT CHEERS, as we…
CUT TO:
EXT. FOOTBALL FIELD – AFTERNOON
Standing on the twenty-yard-line, looking up at the jumbo-tron as it flashes highlights of Big Jim mercilessly tackling Purdue Boilermakers from 1977 game footage, Katie has gathered with Michael and Lisa Marie.
KATIESo that whole “red shirt” thing has roots that run deep, huh?
LISA MARIEOh my God! You know, I’ve never actually put two and two together, but do you think the fight song has anything to do with the choice to have the holographs wear red shirts, Michael?
MICHAELI’ve never heard anyone mention it before – maybe it’s one of those subconscious things.
Jamie, holding a beer, approaches the group. As he arrives Katie leans in for a kiss on the cheek.
KATIEYou did well, baby.
JAMIEThanks. What’s going on?
LISA MARIEOh, we were just talking about the fight song.
JAMIERight – the fight song! I forget how weird it is until I hear it.
MICHAELHey, what was that thing about “you think” it was his last request?
39
JAMIE(laughing)
Ah - that. In his directions, he called it his penultimate request – which I’m assuming he thought meant “extra final,” and not, you know, next to last – although you never know.
KATIE(smiling)
If you wear Oakville Red, a Bullet to Your Head!
JAMIEMy very own cheerleader.
Katie playfully pumps her arm, and is about to continue when she is interrupted by the voice of Sylvia over the loudspeaker.
SYLVIA (OVER LOUDSPEAKER)Would Jamie Belfield please report to the press box? Jamie Belfield, please report to the press box.
Jamie wrinkles his eyebrows in bewilderment.
JAMIEIs that…?
MICHAELSylvia.
Jamie looks over at his mother, and as he does so, realizes the strange tinny announcement has stopped most movement in the crowd. Emily shrugs her shoulders and raises her arms.
JAMIEI guess maybe I should…
He bends down to kiss Katie on the top of the head.
JAMIE (CONT.)I’ll be right back.
CUT TO:
INT. STADIUM PRESS BOX – MOMENTS LATER
40
The four city council members are seated at a table in the press box, overlooking the football field. Kenny is seated at a control panel, running the jumbo-tron. Jamie knocks on the door, lets himself in, and walks over to the window, looking out for a few seconds at the sea of people gathered on the field-turf.
JAMIEWhat’s going on?
The four city council members look at each other hesitantly, and just as Alvin clears his throat, about to speak, Sylvia jumps in.
SYLVIAWe’re enacting the Dolphin Clause.
FRANKThe Dauphin Clause!
JAMIEI always liked the idea of it being a dolphin better anyway – but, no.
SYLVIAWhat do you mean, no?
JAMIEI mean, I’ve got a job starting at Brown in the fall; I’m getting married. I mean, Sylvia, no, you can’t enact the Dolphin Clause. One of you has got to step up as the mayor.
ALVINIt’s the law. We can’t.
JAMIEWell, rewrite the law, then.
BERTWe will, Jamie, but it’s going to take a little time.
JAMIEHow long?
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BERTTwo months, max. There’ll still be plenty of time for you to get to Rhode Island by the start of the fall semester.
JAMIEI don’t think I can do it, Bert. I’m a different kind of Belfield. More Hezekiah, less Quincy.
BERTThat’s ridiculous. Besides, your father said the same thing when Quincy III died.
JAMIEWell, what if I still say no?
ALVINThen Curtis serves as the acting mayor until we rewrite by-laws.
JAMIEJesus, he’s fourteen – and slow!
Jamie turns back towards the football field, and looks out again at the jumbo-tron. Staring back at him from the screen is a picture of his father as a young man.
JAMIE (CONT.)You still carry that flask with you, Bert?
Bert reaches into his pocket, pulls out the flask, and walks over to Jamie, putting his hand on Jamie’s shoulder in a fatherly manner. Jamie takes a swig.
JAMIE (CONT.)(turning to walk towards the door)
Let me think about it. I’ve got to talk to Katie.
He exits, and we…
CUT TO:
INT. JAMIE’S BEDROOM – NIGHT
BACKGROUND MUSIC – One Republic, “Stop and Stare”
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Katie is seated on the bed, and Jamie is standing at his closet. He is slowly building a pile of Dan Marino jerseys on the bed.
JAMIE (V.O)And so that night, much like the Great Gatsby explaining his life to Daisy by showing her his magnificent collection of dress shirts, I showered the bed around my fiancée with 28 autographed Dan Marino jerseys, and explained to her the Dolphin Clause. Only, I didn’t feel so much like Dan Marino – more, in fact, like Jay Fiedler, the guy whose job it was to replace the quarterback holding every major NFL passing record in history upon his retirement.
KATIESo, is this supposed to be what you wear to the office?
JAMIEGod I hope not. You sure you’re okay with this?
KATIEWell, it wouldn’t be my first choice, but I understand the situation. I’ll be all right getting us set up in Rhode Island. Two months at the outside?
JAMIETwo months at the outside.
KATIEWell, okay.
Katie slips on one of the jerseys and playfully looks at her fiancée.
KATIE (CONT.)Come here, Dolphin Boy.
Jamie crawls on the bed towards Katie.
KATIE (CONT.)Now, where do I get some of that eye-black stuff that football players wear?
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CUT TO:
INT. JACKSON BROS. INSURANCE AND COFFEE SHOP – MORNING
Katie and Jamie enter the Jackson Bros. Coffee Shop, which is lined with posters of smiling families talking about their insurance policies. A large crowd has assembled for breakfast.
JAMIE (V.O.)The next morning, after a rather enlightening breakfast at Jackson Bros. Insurance and Coffee Shop…
MANGood morning, Mr. Mayor!
WOMANLovely day outside isn’t, Mr. Mayor! And my isn’t she one good looking first lady?
KATIEWow – word travels fast around here.
Jamie and Katie sit down at a table with Lisa Marie and Michael, and before they can even look at a menu, a waitress arrives to pay homage.
WAITRESSCan I take your order, Mr. Mayor?
JAMIE (V.O.)…I drove Katie to the airport in Chicago…
CUT TO:
FROZEN SHOT – AIRPORT TERMINAL – DAYTIME
Jamie is giving Katie a good-bye kiss, and her leg is lifted backwards at a ninety-degree angle from the knee like Raquel Welch.
JAMIE (V.O.)…where we shared a good-bye kiss. Then she flew off to Rhode Island to ready our lives for the
44
future, and I returned home to ready myself for a return to the past.
CUT TO:
MAY 25, 2009 – BELFIELD, ILLINOIS
INT. MAYOR’S OFFICE – MORNING
Jamie is seated at the desk in his office, examining the Belfield Hydrometer, as Kenny looks on in suspense.
JAMIE (V.O.)Two weeks later, I was back where this story started, taking my first meetings in my new position, seated in my father’s chair.
KENNYSo what do you think?
JAMIEIt just doesn’t seem like the best idea to spend $112,000 on machines that will tell people whether or not they need an umbrella.
CUT TO:
INT. MAYOR’S OFFICE – MOMENTS LATER
Jamie is patting Kenny on the shoulder, ushering him towards the door. As Kenny exits the office, Jamie closes the door behind him and walks over to the window.
JAMIEThis town.
He stares outside for a second, then moves towards the door himself. As he moves into the reception area, WE FOLLOW him towards the desk of his secretary, Shelley Price.
JAMIE (CONT.)Hey Shelley, I’m gonna step outside to take a quick walk.
SHELLEY
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That was only your first meeting, Jamie. You’ve still got the President of the Kiwanis Club in twenty minutes.
JAMIEI’ll be back in time.
Shelley gives Jamie an understanding look, then smiles.
SHELLEYTake your time if you want. I’ll get Randall to help me with this morning’s Sudoku.
Jamie walks out of the office door, and WE FOLLOW him towards a stairwell, emerging in…
EXT. BELFIELD TOWN SQUARE – CONTINUOUS
Jamie walks across the street towards the grassy island, and takes a look first at the statue, then at the rest of the town square. As he does so, however, he notices that the sky quickly turns from blue to gray, and a thunderbolt cracks. Seconds later, the sky opens up in a sudden torrential downpour.
Jamie, standing in the rain, allows himself to get quickly soaked. Thoroughly drenched, he notices the door of Palazzo’s Pizza open. Gina emerges, dressed in a work-suit, holding one umbrella over her head and another in her hands. She walks across the street towards the grassy island and hands the spare umbrella to Jamie.
JAMIEThanks.
GINANo problem.
They stand for a second quietly, looking at the rain.
GINA (CONT.)See, this is why the town needs Kenny’s hydrometer. Plus, I’m pretty sure your dad was gonna use the towers for cell phone reception and have Verizon foot the bill.
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Jamie looks at her for a second out of the corner of his eye, then erupts with a laugh.
JAMIEYou know, that’s a really good idea.
GINAWell, he’d been doing it for 31 years. You’ll catch on.
JAMIE (V.O.)And thus commences the History of Belfield.
CUT TO:
END CREDITS – Background Music: O.A.R., “This Town”
FADE OUT
END OF ACT TWO / END OF SHOW
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