1

THE HIGH-IMPACT OF EMOTIONALLY INTELLIGENT LEADERSHIP

Dariush Khaleghi “DK” MS (Org Psych), MBA, SPHRLeadership Edge, LLC., April 2019

Introduction

1. Tell us your name, your role and the name of the organization you work for.

2. Share what your top super power is.

3. Share an insight from the videos and or reading assignments and share favorite leadership quote.

“Leadership is an attitude. It simultaneously consists of thoughts, feelings and behaviors.

~Neuroscience for leaders

2

Knowledge

ReflectionAction

Transformation

Transformative Learning (KRAT)

3

Co-Create the Session Together

v.

You are not a bucket that needs to fill up with knowledge. I invite you to have authentic conversations and co-create today’s engagement.4

Learning Objectives

5

• Discuss Leadership Intelligence• Define emotions and their function• Explain emotional intelligence• Understand why emotionally intelligent

leaders are more effective• Become more emotionally competent

Intelligence

Group Exercise (10 min):Please, answer. 1. What is Intelligence?2. Why is it important?3. How do you use it?4. What types of intelligence

great leaders posses?

Intelligence• “The ability to understand and think about things, and to

gain and use knowledge.” ~Macmillan Dictionary

• “The ability to learn or understand or to deal with new or trying situations.” ~Merriam-Webster.com

• “The ability to understand and learn well, and to form judgements and opinions based on reason.”

~ Oxford Dictionary

Leadership Intelligence (LI)

Setting the

Course

Developing

Relationships

Building a

Diverse

Workforce

Managing

Results

Strategic Intelligence (SI)

Cognitive Intelligence (CI)

Emotional Intelligence (EI)

LI

8

CulturalIntelligence (CI)

DK 2019

VUCA

Class Question: In a VUCA world, how do people react to onslaught of changes and disruptions? What are their emotional experience?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=2&v=cl_L6Lxkg5c

The Power of Emotions

10

Group Discussion (take 10 min in your groups to answer and then share):1. What are emotions? 2. How do they show up in your organization?3. Do you use emotions to lead your people and organization?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aJDve12yUig

Emotions• Emotions contain knowledge and information

• “Are responses to a situation or an object, like judgments.” (Zemach, 2001)

• Are subconscious, instinctive or intuitive feelings.

• Includes a stimuli, a physiological response, and a behavioral response.

• Has both external and internal (i.e., thoughts) sources.

• Generate motivation and action.

11

The Function of Emotions• Create our life experiences.

• Binding agents for memories.

• Help us survive and thrive.

• Enable Us Make Decisions.

• Help us build relationships and influence.

• Enable us correct mistakes (emotional dissonance)

• Help us to lead more effectively.

12

They Are Learned

• Emotions are learned responses to specific triggers

• Culture shapes our beliefs that map our brain, leading to our subconscious reactions to triggers

• Understanding our mind helps us observe and improve the processes underlying thinking, emotion and action

• Examining and Changing our beliefs can change our emotional responses

Negative Emotions• Fear

• Anger

• Guilt

• Despair

• Depression

Group Discussion (10min):

1. What happens to you when you experience a negative emotion?

2. How does negative emotions impact your performance and interactions with others and at work?

3. Do you believe we have control over our negative emotions?

14

Negative emotions such as anger are learned and result from our belief system that instills the emotional judgement on right and wrong.

Survival Emotions

• Fear –> Freeze, run, avoid

• Disgust –> Get away from

• Anger –> Control, Neutralize, Punish, Threaten, Intimidate, Revenge

• Contempt/Hatred –> Annihilate

Class Discussion:

1. What is your normal reaction when you get really angry?

2. How does it work for you as a leader when you react with anger?

15

Positive Emotions• Gratitude

• Hope

• Pride

• Inspiration

• Satisfaction

• Confidence

• Optimism

Team Discussion (10 min):

1. How do positive emotions impact your life and work?

2. How can they be learned?

16

Emotions Impact“Today, the emotions are so neglected that most people are oblivious to the deep currents that move them, hold them back, and lead them astray.” - Neal Burton, M.D., Psychology Today

How emotions lead our behavior and performance at work

1. Stimuli (Angry Boss) -> Perception (Threat) -> Emotion (Fear) Feeling (Scared) > Behavior (Fight, Flight or Freeze) -> Low or no performance

2. Good boss -> Values You -> Confidence -> Pride -> Engage -> High performance

17

The Emotional Brain

18

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xNY0AAUtH3g

Class Discussion:1. How can understanding the emotional brain help you become better leaders and communicators?

• But once you are in that field, emotional intelligence emerges as a much stronger predictor of who will be most successful, because it is how we handle ourselves in our relationships that determines how well we do once we are in a given job.

- Daniel Goleman

The Predictor

19

Group Exercise (15 min)

In your groups, think of leaders in your life who’ve been very effective and influential.

1. How did they behave differently?

2. What was their impact on others and the organizations?

3. What did their employees say about them?

20

Self-Management

Emotional Self-Control

Transparency

Adaptability

Achievement Orientation

Optimism

Relationship Management

Collaboration

Developing Others

Inspirational Leadership

Change Catalyst

Influence

Self-Awareness

Emotional Self Awareness

Accurate Self-Assessment

Self-Confidence

Social Awareness

Empathy

Organizational Awareness

Service Orientation

EI

Relationship MasteryPersonal Mastery

See

Do

What Is Emotional Intelligence (EI)

21https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y7m9eNoB3NU

Self-Awareness

Awareness is a powerful mental state from which we can respond rather than react.

Self-awareness is a state of being conscious or aware of your own awareness.

“Most powerful is he who has himself in his own power.”

~Seneca

22

Amygdala Hijacking

23

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEHwB1PG_-Q

Group Discussion (10min): 1. Have you ever experienced amygdala hijacking in the workplace?2. What triggered it?3. How the experience impacted your performance and relationships

with others?

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=4&v=jEHwB1PG_-Q

Understand the ABC

Antecedent –> Behavior –> Consequences

• "A“: Antecedent, or the event or activity that precedes a behavior.

• "B“: Observed Behavior.

• “C”: Consequence (the event that follows a response).

Note: The consequence can become the antecedent of new set of behavior and consequences.

24

Your Emotional Triggers

React

Emotional Triggers

Threat

Fight

Flight

Freeze

Group Discussion (15 min) :1. What situations/individuals have caused you to feel uncomfortable or stressed?2. How did you react to the situation or individual?3. Can you describe your emotional triggers that caused you to react?4. Do you recognize a pattern?

25

Choose to Respond

26

Respond CoachingCompetence ConfidenceProductivityDiscretionaryEffort

“Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”

~ Viktor E. Frankl

Class Discussion (10 min): Now that you are aware of your triggers, what actions can you take to control and regulate your emotional reactions?

Be the Example: Mirror Neurons

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YAHgBAjcBbg

Next

• Let’s look at strategies and behaviors that help improve our EI and emotional competency.

28

Conscious: Choosing Response

Subconscious: Emotions & Emotional Triggers

“Whatever we plant in our

subconscious mind and nourish with

repetition and emotion will one day

become a reality.” – Earl Nightingale

Make Subconscious Conscious

29

Metacognition: Observe Thoughts• “Higher-order thinking that enables understanding,

analysis, and control of one's cognitive processes.”

• Thinking about your own thinking process and being to able to understand and modify your thinking.

• Thinking and emotions are two sides of a coin

Thoughts:– Are personal realities and not objective

– Aren’t real threats in most instances.

– Must be evaluated to modify if necessary

30

Class Discussion: 1. What are your thoughts about UFOs?2. Are your thoughts real and objective?3. If not, what should you do with them?

Follow the Six Second Rule• The Six-Second Rule (i.e., cortisol and adrenaline)

• Breathe, take a step back and wait long enough for the rational part of our brain to kick in.

• Allow the chemical reaction your brain to subside.

• Take ownership.

• Reflect and engage in productive discussion of a solution.

31

• Challenge pessimistic thinking

• Provide encouragement and support

• Role model optimistic thinking

• Use stories that promote persistence and optimism

• Emphasize strengths and acknowledge successes

• Promote problem solving

• Set high, but realistic standards

• Provide opportunities for small wins

Promote optimism

32

Get People to the Flow

33

Skills (Actions)

(Time)

Challenge

(Thought/

Emotion)

High

High

Manage Energy

From Tony Schwartz Presentation in Harvard

High

Positive

Survival The Flow

Burn OutRenewal

/Resilience

Energy State

Low

Negative

Brain comprise 2% of the body but uses 20% of the total energy consumed.

Leadership is about directing human energy towards common goals.

34

Practice Mindfulness

• Mindfulness is paying attention to the present, actively.

• Observe your thoughts and feelings without judging them good or bad.

• Living in the moment rather than dwelling on the past or anticipating the future.

35

Turn Drama to Opportunity • Drama - Blaming Game

• Situation – Problem Solving

• Choice – Choosing how to respond

• Opportunity – Seeking possibilities

When we choose to blame others, we create a state of resistance to change that create stress, impeding progress

Group Discussion:

1. How do you handle drama in your organization?

2. How can you turn drama to opportunities?

From Creating a World that Works by Alan Seale

36

Practice Empathy• Empathy allows understanding another person's thoughts, feelings, and

condition from their point of view, rather than from your own.– Put aside your view - No Projection

– Validate their perspective

– Listen

• Empathy facilitates prosocial behavior (i.e., helping and teamwork).

• It increases Discretionary Effort/Commitment.

Discretionary Effort

Compliance

37

Promote Psychological Safety • Psychological safety is a shared belief that the team

is safe for interpersonal risk taking. It can be defined as "being able to show and employ one's self without fear of negative consequences of self-image, status or career"

~(Kahn 1990)

• In psychologically safe teams, team members feel accepted and respected.

Class Discussion: How can you as a leader promote Psychological safety in your organization?

Reduce Emotional Labor• Emotional labor happens when we are paid to manage and control

our emotions (i.e., smiling to customers on daily basis or dealing with toxic workplace).

• Emotional labor can lead to emotional exhaustion, burnout, low morale and productivity.

• Class Discussion:

1. Do you ever experience emotional labor and exhaustion?

2. What do you do to manage it?

Remove Threats

Mammalian: Emotional center: Love, fear, guilt, anger, memory

Primal: Instinctive reactions, control, fight-or-flight fear responses,

A perceived threat to the brain causes it to "downshift“ to fight or flight state to secure survival.

40

Neocortex: Higher-level thinking, info processing, performance

Maximize Reward

• Status

• Certainty

• Autonomy

• Relatedness

• Fairness

Class Discussion:

How can learning the SCARF Model help you improve performance in your organization?

https://youtu.be/isiSOeMVJQk

41

https://www.youtube.com/watch?time_continue=22&v=isiSOeMVJQk

Research Shows That• EI can help:

– Improve productivity

– Improve Retention and Employee Satisfaction

– Reduce Stress

– Moderate Conflict

– Promote Understanding and Relationships

– Promote Positive Feeling and Behavior

– Make change implementation seamless

– Foster stability and continuity

– Improve Bottom Line

42

Emotionally Intelligent Leadership

Sustainable Results

Aligned Behaviors

Deep Engagement

Trustful Relationships

Emotionally Competent Leadership

43

EI Exercise (10 min)

• How can you use EI to improve your personal and organizational leadership to influence others (i.e., your employee, other internal customers, external customer and or stakeholders) to get better results in tough situations?

• Share your insights or action plan?

44