““The foundation of The foundation of knowledge is the willingness knowledge is the willingness

to listen. Or for every to listen. Or for every obstacle there is a solution.”obstacle there is a solution.”

Questions: Questions:

1)1) What is selective listening? What is selective listening? (Hearing what you want to hear.)(Hearing what you want to hear.)

2)2)What are good listening skills?What are good listening skills?

CommunicationCommunication

Sending & Sending & Receiving Receiving MessagesMessages

Why is it Difficult to Why is it Difficult to Listen to Listen to Listen to Listen to Others at Times?Others at Times?

Distractions are Distractions are everywhereeverywhere

People may talk too People may talk too longlong

Disinterest in the Disinterest in the conversationconversation

Thinking of what Thinking of what you’ll say next in you’ll say next in response to the response to the current speakercurrent speaker

How do you know someone How do you know someone is not interested in what is not interested in what you had to say? What was you had to say? What was their body language?their body language?

They:They: Avoid eye Avoid eye

contactcontact Lean away from Lean away from

the speakerthe speaker Look distractedLook distracted Do other things Do other things

while the while the speaker is speaker is talkingtalking

Selective Selective ListeningListening

Hearing what we Hearing what we want to hearwant to hear

Active ListeningActive Listening

Conflict is the process of people Conflict is the process of people communicating and working together to communicating and working together to resolve their differences. resolve their differences.

Peers promotesPeers promotes Listen to WHAT is saidListen to WHAT is said REPEATS what is saidREPEATS what is said During conflicts students are to listen to During conflicts students are to listen to

the ISSUE not ACCUSEthe ISSUE not ACCUSE

Effective Effective Communication Communication SkillsSkills“Listening Well & Sending Clear “Listening Well & Sending Clear Messages:Messages:

Look at the speaker & pay Look at the speaker & pay attention to what he/she is attention to what he/she is sayingsaying

Be respectful of differences of Be respectful of differences of opinion - keep an open mindopinion - keep an open mind

Acknowledge what the Acknowledge what the speaker is saying by nodding, speaker is saying by nodding, eye contact, etc..eye contact, etc..

Ask questions if you don’t Ask questions if you don’t understandunderstand

Open MindOpen MindIt is important to It is important to

listen with an listen with an open mind!!open mind!!

Be willing to Be willing to listen, not judge listen, not judge

& see others & see others viewpoints…viewpoints…

Unclear Unclear MessagesMessages

A person may receive an A person may receive an unclear message due unclear message due to the following to the following reasons:reasons:

1.1. We are thinking of other things We are thinking of other things while speakingwhile speaking

2.2. We may not provide enough We may not provide enough detaildetail

3.3. We may not stick to the pointWe may not stick to the point4.4. We don’t pay attention to the We don’t pay attention to the

listenerlistener

Sending Clear Sending Clear MessagesMessages Make sure verbal & Make sure verbal &

nonverbal messages nonverbal messages matchmatch

Speak clearly & stick Speak clearly & stick to the pointto the point

Be sure your message Be sure your message is received as you is received as you intend it to beintend it to be

What is the What is the Purpose of Purpose of Effective Effective Communication?Communication?

To Understand & To Understand & be Understood, be Understood, to learn and or to learn and or

share information share information & experiences!& experiences!

Listening………Listening………

3 Volunteers?????3 Volunteers?????

People know that drug use has many consequences People know that drug use has many consequences and that people use drugs for many different reasons. and that people use drugs for many different reasons. Eddy started smoking marijuana occasionally with a Eddy started smoking marijuana occasionally with a friend. Now he’s getting loaded everyday, showing up friend. Now he’s getting loaded everyday, showing up late for school, or not at all and he says he doesn’t late for school, or not at all and he says he doesn’t even care about the credits he is behind in because he even care about the credits he is behind in because he can always make them up later. Sherry thought that a can always make them up later. Sherry thought that a beer every now and then at a party was no big deal. beer every now and then at a party was no big deal. Now she is partying a lot, but feeling tired and burnt Now she is partying a lot, but feeling tired and burnt out. She just wants to sleep off last night’s party and out. She just wants to sleep off last night’s party and not hear about the crazy things everyone said she did not hear about the crazy things everyone said she did the night before. David keeps saying that he can quit the night before. David keeps saying that he can quit smoking cigarettes any time he wants. Every time he smoking cigarettes any time he wants. Every time he tires, he bugs his friends for cigarettes day and night. tires, he bugs his friends for cigarettes day and night. No one realized when he began to experiment with No one realized when he began to experiment with drugs how many consequences there could be. Many of drugs how many consequences there could be. Many of the consequences are different for different people.the consequences are different for different people.

““I” Statements & ‘YOU” I” Statements & ‘YOU” StatementsStatements

““I” Statements:I” Statements:Response that focuses Response that focuses on one’s own feelings on one’s own feelings rather then placing rather then placing blameblameConvey positive Convey positive expectations and trustexpectations and trustFoundation of good Foundation of good communicationcommunication

“You” Statements:•Response that places blame on others•Gives no info about ourselves and makes assumptions about the other person

Communicating I Communicating I StatementsStatements

I feel _(an emotion)_ when you I feel _(an emotion)_ when you _(an action)_ because I _(an effect _(an action)_ because I _(an effect of the action)_.of the action)_.

I think you said _(paraphrase)_ I think you said _(paraphrase)_ and I agree/disagree with you and I agree/disagree with you because I _(your emotion or because I _(your emotion or experience)_.experience)_.

Transform the Following Transform the Following SentencesSentences

You’re ruining my life!!!!!!!!!!You’re ruining my life!!!!!!!!!! You’re making me late for school!!!!!!You’re making me late for school!!!!!! You never listen to what I have to You never listen to what I have to

say!!!!say!!!! You gave me a lower grade then I You gave me a lower grade then I

deserve!deserve! You’re stupid!!!!!!!!!!!You’re stupid!!!!!!!!!!! Your breath stinks!Your breath stinks!