The Epistle to the Ephesians

Dec13, 2009 Bob Eckel 1

Marriage and Parenting

Ephesians 5:22-33 is our text on a Christ-Centered marriage.

• What does a Christ-Centered marriage look like?– Why isn’t this simply a 50:50 relationship?

• What’s all of this submission stuff?– Why don’t wives have to love their husbands?

• Men, what’s this loving your wife as Christ loved the church?– How are you doing here guys?

The Epistle to the Ephesians

Dec13, 2009 Bob Eckel 2

Marriage and Parenting

• What does a Christ-Centered marriage look like?– Describe this relationship– Can you think of any NT examples?

• If not why not?

– It all begins with position• Col 1:21,22 – “And you, who once were alienated and enemies in your

mind by wicked works, yet now He has reconciled in the body of His flesh through death, to present you holy, and blameless, and above reproach in His sight”

– And our response in by faith• Gal 2:20 – “I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who

live, but Christ lives in me; and the [life] which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”

• Phil 1:21 – “For me to live is Christ and die is gain.’

The Epistle to the Ephesians

Dec13, 2009 Bob Eckel 3

Marriage and Parenting – Leaving expectations behind

• Entirely sourced in the old man– Law-based– Reflects entitlement– Ignores the active principle of grace portrayed in both the lives of

the husband and wife

• Ponder this point - aren’t misplaced expectations, that are centered in self, the root of most if not all marital strife?

• Eph 4:20-22 – “But you have not so learned Christ, if indeed you have heard Him and have been taught by Him, as the truth is in Jesus: that you put off, concerning your former conduct, the old man which grows corrupt according to the deceitful lusts, ….”

• Moreover, are not expectations the basis of the 50:50

The Epistle to the Ephesians

Dec13, 2009 Bob Eckel 4

Marriage and Parenting marriage view?

– Consider this in your own marriage relationship– Why does this 50:50 relationship fail?

– A Christ-Centered marriage is a 100:100 relationship where our condition becomes consistent with our position

• Eph 4:23,24 – “and be renewed in the spirit of your mind, and that you put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness.”

• What’s all of this submission stuff (and in everything)?– In Eph 5:22, the verb submit is present, middle, imperative

tense• This word was a Greek military term meaning "to arrange [troop

divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader". In non-military use, it was "a voluntary attitude of giving in, cooperating, assuming responsibility, and carrying a burden".

The Epistle to the Ephesians

Dec13, 2009 Bob Eckel 5

Marriage and Parenting • The term support or respect may best describe this human relationship

– but may fall short of the ‘as unto the Lord’

• Why?– Because the husband is ‘the head of the wife, even as Christ is the head of the

church…’

• How is this translated into day-to-day interaction?– Spiritually - encouraging leadership

» Get your act together men

– Verbally - compliments

– Intellectually – problem solving

– Physically – and not just intimacy, but what you can do make his life easier

– Why didn’t the Lord ask wives to love their husbands?• But she says she loves you?

– And her role in faith is indicative of this love

The Epistle to the Ephesians

Dec13, 2009 Bob Eckel 6

Marriage and Parenting

• Men, what’s this ‘loving your wife as Christ loved the church’?– ‘and gave Himself for it’ – sacrificial love– ‘sanctifying or setting apart her’ – sanctifying love

• It’s not about us men– It’s making her complete - the goal is to build her up to bring

about God’s purpose in her. – I Pet 3:7 – “Husbands, in the same way, treat your wives with

consideration as the weaker partners and show them honor as fellow heirs of the grace of life. In this way nothing will hinder your prayers.”

» In other words know her, what she needs, wherein she excels and does not excel, her talents and help her to develop them.

– We should ‘love our wives as we love ourselves’.

The Epistle to the Ephesians

Dec13, 2009 Bob Eckel 7

Marriage and Parenting • And again, this begins with position

– Eph 5:29 – “For no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as the Lord does the church.”

– And there is no value in the old man, sin nature, or flesh (Eph 2:1-3)» But we still love ourselves anyway don’t we?

– But we are risen and seated above (Col 3:1-3)– And, we love because He first loved us (I John 5:19)

– Eph 5:30 – “and leave his father and mother, and shall be joined to his wife, and they two shall be one flesh”

• A bigger problem at the beginning of marriage – reflect back here everyone!

– And just as for wives, how is this translated into day-to-day interaction?

• Earn respect– Learn Christ - and lead spiritually

» She really needs this• Sacrifice – it’s not about us husbands

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Dec13, 2009 Bob Eckel 8

Marriage and Parenting • Setting her apart

– As Christ did His church» Does she view us to be worthy of this role?

– Does she feel special, lifted up, encouraged?– How are you doing here guys?

• Is this something we need to work on?– Who’s the source?– What’s the principle?– Is it possible?

• For both wives and husbands – an application for life and marriage “Phil 2:1-5 – “Therefore if there is any consolation in Christ, if any comfort of love, if any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and mercy, fulfill my joy by being like-minded, having the same love, being of one accord, of one mind. Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus,”