The Emotion of Anger

Anger

• Anger itself is not negative.• It is how we express our anger that

can either be harmful or healthy.

How is Anger Expressed?

• turning red• shouting/yelling• throwing things• hitting things• hurling insults

• getting even• holding

grudges• silent treatment• slamming doors• damaging

property

3 Types of Anger Expression

1. Aggressive anger: directed at another person to hurt them physically, emotionally, or psychologically.

Examples are yelling, insults and put-downs, hitting

3 Types of Anger Expression, cont’d

2. Passive anger: person avoids dealing with anger and internalizes it.

Examples are blaming, criticizing, or punishing self. Also holding a grudge, getting even, spreading rumors, damaging property, silent treatment

3 Types of Anger Expression, cont’d

3. Assertive anger: expressed directly, but in a non-threatening way. Most constructive type.

May be expressed like, “I feel angry when you...”

Anger Iceberg

• Anger is often referred to as a secondary emotion.

• We express anger to cover up other vulnerable feelings

• We need to understand these underlying feelings.

Anger

HurtScared

Frustrated Humiliate

dRejected

Scenario• Mary is listening to her favorite CD

with friends. When her older brother Peter comes home from school, he comes into the room and puts on his own CD without saying a word. Mary turns red, but she doesn’t say anything. Shortly after, Spot, the family dog, comes over to her for a pat. Mary shoves Spot away and yells, “Leave me alone! You’re such a pest!”

Questions• What type of anger expression did

Mary use?• Was it constructive or destructive?

Why?• How could Mary have expressed her

anger more constructively?• What were the underlying feelings

Mary might have been feeling when Peter switched the CDs without asking?