The Cross and The a new day has begun. Lotus Journal ... · down to us through Lahiri Mahasaya, Swami Sri Yukteswar, Paramhansa Yogananda and Yogacharya Mother Hamilton. The Reverend

Ram Nam (the chanting of

God’s name) kept in check

the activities of the mind, es-

pecially those activities that

made it run after external ob-

jects. Afterwards, the mind

was so calm that it would not

go out even when the chant-

ing stopped.

Swami Ramdas

Unless conjugal love has a

spiritual basis it can never last. If

husbands and wives are to live in

friendship and harmony, they

must be of spiritual service to

each other…when two Souls are

ideally mated, their love becomes

spiritualized and is registered in

eternity.

Paramhansa Yogananda

We are emerging from a dreadful age of darkness, cruelty and

greed. Rare has been the soul who has striven for union with

God. Like the dawn of a new day we are witness to tremendous

souls taking incarnation and parents suited to the noble task of

bringing in such souls. Take heart—a new day has begun.

Yogacharya David Hickenbottom

Babaji’s Remembrance Day, July 25

Dedicated to the Realization of God and Service to Him in All Forms

The Cross and The

Lotus Journal

June 2013, Vol. 14 No. 2

Mother Hamilton (1977)

Dra

wn

by A

rtis

t L

aksh

mi,

An

and

ash

ram

The cross and lotus symbolizes the unity between East and West. The lotus is the sign of

illumined consciousness, the thousand petal lotus of the crown chakra. The cross is the

symbol of the body surrendered to the will of God. Following the way of the cross results in

the resurrection of illumined consciousness.

The Cross and the Lotus, symbol of man. East and West blended, join hand in hand.

Marching toward the infinite light and life divine. Lift up your eyes and see the star,

descending from heaven where e’er you are. Be filled with the peace and ecstasy of God’s almighty love.

Aum-Amen. The Reverend Yogacharya Mother Hamilton

The Cross and The Lotus Journal is published by

The Cross and The Lotus Publishing Mount Vernon, WA, U.S.A.

Website: www.crossandlotus.com

E-mail: [email protected]

© 2013 The Cross and The Lotus Publishing is dedicated to the publication of materials that

promote God-realization. Our spiritual lineage begins with Jesus Christ and Babaji and flows

down to us through Lahiri Mahasaya, Swami Sri Yukteswar, Paramhansa Yogananda and

Yogacharya Mother Hamilton.

The Reverend Yogacharya David Hickenbottom continues this lineage with the help and

support of many sincere devotees. We are dedicated to realizing God and serving devotees of

every race, color, creed and religion.

Mother Hamilton often said she was the product of two fully illumined Masters, her own

Guru, Paramhansa Yogananda, and Swami Ramdas. We therefore feature articles about

Swami Ramdas and Anandashram. We bow to the feet of Saints and realized Masters of all

religions.

The Cross and The Lotus Journal Page 35

Christian-Yoga and Paramhansa

Yogananda’s Praecepta Lessons

We currently have two monthly classes: Christian-Yoga and

Master’s Praecepta Lessons. Topics in the Christian Yoga Class

have included “God-Divine Incarnations & Gurus,” “Baptism,”

and “Purification and Temptation.” Tracing the storyline of Je-

sus we continue to go deeper to discover the blueprint for every

individual’s spiritual growth and development embedded in

these sacred texts. We also have been delving into Master’s les-

sons on such relevant topics as “The Law of Divine Healing,”

“Overcoming Temptation” and “How to Cure the Disease of

Jealousy”.

Through Ustream you may join us live online or contact Carla

([email protected]) to receive a link for an online re-

cording and the writings that go with the class. Here is the com-

ment of one devotee participating on Ustream: “I loved experi-

encing the arising love and happiness in all class members who

shared from Bellingham—it was priceless!”

Journal Editors: Larry & Cate Koler

Calendar of Events June 16 Father’s Day

20 Summer Solstice (9:59 p.m. PDT)

July 1 Canada Day

4 Independence Day

8 Ramadan (sundown)–ends sundown on August 7

22 Guru Purnima

25 Babaji’s Remembrance Day

Aug. 11 Papa’s Mahasamadhi Day (1963)

Sept. 4 Rosh Hashanah (sundown)–ends sundown on Sept. 6

22 Fall Equinox (1:38 p.m. PDT)

26 Lahiri Mahasaya’s Mahasamadhi Day (1895)

30 Lahiri Mahasaya’s Birthday (1828)

Oct. 4 Mother Krishnabai’s Birthday (1903)

12 Swami Satchidananda’s Mahasamadhi Day (2008)

Page 34 The Cross and The Lotus Journal

From the Master’s Kitchen One of the recipes originally published in Master’s Lessons

Baked Macaroni with Asparagus

Macaroni: 1 c. whole wheat (or gluten free)

Cheddar Cheese: 3 oz

Butter: 4 tbsp.

Mayonnaise: 1/2 c. fresh (I

use Trader Joe’s)

Flour: 3 tbsp. whole wheat (or

gluten free flour)

Bread crumbs: 3/4 c. whole

wheat buttered (omitted)

Salt: 1tsp. (omitted)

Asparagus: 2 c. cooked fresh, cut in one inch pieces (quick

stir fry in frying pan with tiny bit of oil & salt)

Milk ~2 c. (this was not on the paper work I had, so I guessed

what the amount should be)

Cook macaroni in boiling salted water until tender; drain. Melt

butter, add flour and salt; mix well.

Gradually stir in milk. Cook until thickened, stirring con-

stantly. Add cheese; stir until melted. Remove from heat; add

mayonnaise, stirring constantly. Arrange alternate layers of

drained macaroni and asparagus in greased casserole dish. Cover

with cheese sauce, then with buttered

crumbs. Bake in slow oven, 300°F,

until brown. Serves 8.

Comments from our C&L chef,

Angela Victory

This cheese sauce was amazing—

gluten free—and then mayonnaise

whisked in at the end. It was some-

thing I could eat as is but considered

other uses, like poured over any

steamed vegetable. The recipe says

this feeds 8 but I think it could only

feed 4 plus a side salad.

Ph

oto

s b

y M

ike

Vic

tory


Dear Friends,

Mother Hamilton once said,

“When you are in business with

God, you are in business with all of

life!” And this is absolutely true, for

the Author of all of life must be in-

tensely interested in every aspect of

it.

The universal nature of God is

sometimes misinterpreted; at times

it is done so deliberately. It is true

that everything created is from God;

otherwise there would be two crea-

tors, not one. But, from a human perspective, we would not say

that everything thought up by man or creation is equally repre-

sentative of God. That is, from our experience there are things

that lift up the soul to feel closer to God, and other things that

create more separateness from the purity of the supreme Spirit.

As aspirants for realization you most definitely are influenced

by certain thoughts, emotions and outer conditions. When you

are in a sacred place, in the presence of a divinely realized per-

sonage, or you read something uplifting and purifying, you are

brought into closer attunement with your spiritual nature. And

when you encounter a sensually charged environment, sur-

rounded by crass individuals, or find yourself in a spiritually

dark place, then, unless your mind is very strong, you will be

drawn into a greater sense of separation from God.

When the mind is purified of all sense of separation from God,

the universal vision enlightens your mind; Spirit is seen through-

out creation. The delusive idea of isolation and the downward

turn of mind have no hold on you, and a pervasive experience of

peace and joy resonate not only throughout your being, but

throughout all creation; which is not seen as separate from your


greater Self. This universal vision results in complete spiritual

freedom.

From this enlightened state Papa can rightly proclaim that the

world is God, and Mother can perfectly know that to be in busi-

ness with God is to be in business with all of life. When you have

paid the complete price of realization, total surrender to God,

then you too may live in this world without any attachments that

binds your mind to the senses.

However, before this final liberation occurs you must strive to

have a spotless mind. In speaking to Swami Satchidananda,

whose state of spiritual attainment was tremendous, he said that

he had not yet reached that perfect state of Sahaja Samadhi (what

Master called Brahma Nirvana). This highest state of Sahaja

Samadhi, he explained, meant that you do not need any effort to

stay perfectly attuned to God; he noticed in himself that, no mat-

ter how little it required, he needed to extend effort to draw the

mind away from some idea of separation and put his full atten-

tion upon God.

Swamiji’s was the highest veracity. There were many around

him who would think he had attained that complete liberation,

however he was clear—at least at that time—that he was not in

the highest state of realization. He is a tremendous example to us

all for complete honesty and integrity in our spiritual odyssey.

Attachment acts like Velcro for the mind; certain things of the

world stick to it and can be easy or hard to tear away. The easiest

way to rid yourself of attachment is to lovingly keep your mind

upon God. Meditating deeply, chanting God’s Name, feeling His

Presence, loving Him, and serving Him in all forms purifies the

mind of all separation from the One.

God’s very nature is ever-new joy, freedom, enlightened

thought and great peace. These virtues do not allow attachments.

So, in your meditation, your chanting of the divine Name, unless

you are feeling these virtues, you are not going far enough in

your sadhana (spiritual practice). You can say you are on the

spiritual path, but if you are not experiencing increasing close-

ness to God, then you are only fooling yourself.


others. Instead of worrying about having the “right answers” or

trying to “fix” someone, I focus on staying connected to however

I’m experiencing God in the moment. This allows me to be a

conduit of God, allowing God’s light, love, joy, and peace to

flow through me. I’m connected to my intuition, which guides

me to call the right people at the right time to best serve them.

By seeing and experiencing God in them, I can help awaken

them to that experience also.

The chanting and singing are also a powerful part of the

retreat. This song best sums up the experience and is my wish for

you:

May the long time sun shine on you

All love surround you

And the pure light within you

Guide you all the way home.

Om Sri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram.

Tif

fan

y a

nd

Jo

nn

i

Pet

er a

nd

Ch

rist

ine


Loon Lake Spring Retreat by Joy Putnam

I’m so grateful for the opportunity to partici-

pate in the spring retreat, because it’s so up-

lifting to be around David and the other devo-

tees on the path, while learning key distinc-

tions that guide me home to God.

The topic was “New Dimensions of Peace”,

and we focused on how to connect to that

spiritual peace within us. This is so important,

because in that peace and stillness we are connected to God and

God can reveal Himself to us.

We explored a new way of working with the fear, anxiety,

shame or doubt that pulls us out of our natural place of peace. In-

stead of trying to resist or push through the fear, we focused on

hearing the message behind the fear, aligning with the positive

intention, and painting a new picture to gain the cooperation of

that part within us.

Personally this process helped me transform my anxiety about

my spiritual practice. Now I focus on experiencing God however

He shows up, trusting that He is in charge of the process and will

lead me home.

T h i s h a s

moved me out

of my head

trying to fig-

ure it all out,

and into my

heart feeling

the peace and

joy of God in

this moment.

This trans-

formation also

benefits my

service to Peter, Ric, David, Carla, Christine, Judy, Joy


Why do we not make progress? It is because the ego-mind has

a great sense of self-preservation and going to God makes the

ego-mind feel it will lose control, even die. So you work to pre-

serve the life you have, even if you are unhappy with your cur-

rent state.

You must make your mind become single focused. Jesus said

that you cannot serve two masters, you must choose; you must

love God more than this world or your self. This total dedication

to breaking through the shell of ignorance that keeps you in a

state of separation is what allows you to enter the much greater,

more expanded realm of the kingdom of heaven.

In this final emergence you are in the realm of pure light, an-

anda-bliss; knowing that you and your heavenly Father, divine

Mother, are ever one. Now you see the sacred splendor spread

throughout this creation; every atom of space scintillating with

the aura of love and enlightened intelligence. You experience the

world as God.

With this enlightened state of being you continue in service to

the One, which is in all creation, and you continue to explore the

vast nature of God. From this realization you may truly say that

being in business with God is being in business with all of life;

for there is nothing but one life, one religion (that religion is the

realization of God, by whatever name you may call Him), and

one Creator (which is one, without a second).

A practice we may utilize to great effect along the way to the

emergence into oneness is to practice seeing God as our all and

all in all. However, let us not confuse the practice of seeing God

in all with the total liberation that comes with actually having the

universal vision. Let us practice the utmost integrity, following

in the steps of Swami Satchidananda, and bend every effort to

enter into this great and highest state, Sahaja Samadhi.

Then, like Mother, you will spontaneously and continuously

be in the divine Presence, every part of you will resound with the

name of God and the Light of God, and you will know that you

are ever one with Him, enlightened with the universal vision.


Letter to a Devotee Dear _________,

Receiving an angry letter from a family member like the one

_______ sent will in most cases cause a reaction of hurt, fear and

anger. The key is to discharge those feelings quickly, honestly

analyze the truth of what is said and take only what is yours, let-

ting the rest go—see it going into a flame of Light.

It is understandable that there will be emotional charges in

your family, especially considering there was no opportunity for

siblings to have a place to release those natural feelings earlier.

While you were not directly responsible for what happened, you

can understand such feelings. When you depersonalize the situa-

tion and say, “Well, if I were in their shoes I might have some of

those feelings myself,” then you can have compassion for the

charged emotional field of the family.

That said, the letter from _____ was not clean and clear. When

you are clean and clear you take responsibility for your own

emotions and you do not project your thoughts onto others. Such

projections result in inaccuracies and assumptions in what be-

come verbal “drive-by assaults.”

Having a clear mind you may have compassion for others and

it allows you to recognize what is true; not taking on another’s

venom. Clearly the ugliness and tone of the letter you received

does not belong to you and it is not the truth.

In India the supreme swan (paramhansa) is seen as a divine

symbol. In legend it is said that a swimming swan is able to

separate out milk from lake water, taking in only the sweet milk.

This ability to separate “what is mine versus what is yours” is

essential for knowing the truth. And you, being a seeker of truth,

must learn to not only separate truth from untruth, but then im-

bibe only that which belongs to you; rejecting another’s poison-

ous projection.

When you encounter pain in the family you may justly mourn.

Jesus said, “blessed are those who mourn: for they shall be com-

forted.”1 What is essential in mourning is that you give it to God,


Yoga and Health Modified Downward-Facing Dog (Adho Mukha Svanasana)

By Briana Jones

A gentler version of down-dog for a more luxurious elongation

of the spine.

Props: a sturdy,

level surface around

knee height to press

hands against, such

as a couch, the back

of a chair set

against a wall, a

counter, or a table.

Practice: Open

your fingers wide

and press your

hands against your prop, shoulder width apart. Step your feet

back to a distance that allows you to tip forward from your hips

and release the torso through your arms, creating a nice long di-

agonal with your spine. Reach your sit bones up to the sky, and

set your feet slightly wider than the hips. Rotate the shoulders

outward, feeling the arms reaching deep into the shoulder sock-

ets. Feel the life force flowing in the arms connecting into the

heart, torso and all the way back to the hips and heels. Allow for

deep, calming breath. This should feel wonderful!

Benefits: This pose is both energizing and mood lifting as an

inversion, and restorative as a

forward bend. Releases tension

throughout the entire spinal col-

umn. Builds strength in the arms

and shoulders, and opens the

backs of the legs and hips. Re-

laxes the nervous system and

relieves anxiety and depression.

Enjoy the calm and bliss.

Namaste.


Her autobiography is a touching account of a young woman

whose devotion to the child Jesus echoes his own words; to be-

come as little children. In her writings she stresses God’s love

and mercy. Her absolute love for God lives on in her book and

letters and inspires us to also open our hearts and feel His love

for us. She reminds us that great love, not great deeds is the es-

sence of sainthood.

If you have never read her little book I urge you to do so. [The

Story of a Soul: The Autobiography of Saint Therese of Lisieux]

This book has been translated and published all over the world.

In one of her last letters she wrote: “I’m not really going to die.

I’m just entering another life—one I can’t exactly describe here.

I’ll tell you all about it from heaven!”

The Silence of Love

Sister Genevieve tells of this incident a few days before

the death of Therese:

“I got up a number of times during the night, in spite of

her requests. On one of these visits, I found my dear sister

with her hands joined and her eyes raised to heaven:

— What are you doing? I asked her, you should be

asleep.

— I cannot, I am in pain, so I pray…

— And what do you say to Jesus?

— I don’t say anything, I just love him!” -Therese of Lisieux

To enter the contemplative life truly, you have to go

through a narrow, lonely place in your being, where you

face all your fears and selfish patterns, even when you

don’t know what these are.

- Mother Delores Hart


all of it: your sorrows, your fear, your shame, whatever is associ-

ated with grief, give all to the Supreme Lord. In giving it to God

you will be comforted and the old emotional charge is neutral-

ized.

Another lesson comes to mind from the great Galilean Master:

He instructed his disciples that “whosoever shall not receive you,

nor hear your words, when ye depart out of that house or city,

shake off the dust of your feet.”2 You also may shake off the dust

of someone when you offer truth and peace and it is not re-

ceived.

When you are clean and clear you will find peace and healing;

rest assured of this. When you are on the receiving end of an-

other’s hatred, it can seem like a crucifixion. Turn then to God,

tell Him everything; be humble and surrender it all at His feet.

Not everyone is willing to work out his or her anger and fear

in this life-time because they will not surrender the situation to

God. However, leave those recalcitrant ones to God’s care; shake

the dust off your feet and continue your journey to God without

hindrance.

My heart goes out to you. Be brave and stand fast in the Light,

and let the Divine Light be your sword and shield.

With all love and blessings,

1. Matthew 5:4

2. Matthew 10:14

Many picture God as an old man sitting up in heaven on

His golden throne, dispensing His laws, dispensing favors

and punishments. Now, God is not that. He is every old

man, sitting on the throne of everyone’s consciousness!

And as Christ came to teach us so beautifully, God and the

kingdom of heaven are to be found only within ourselves.

Mother Hamilton


Hidden Power An Excerpt from a Talk Given by

The Reverend Mother, Yogacharya M. Hamilton

in Seattle on November 2, 1980

[Bible Reading: 1 Corinthians, Ch. 2, 1-16.]

Only the Tip of the Iceberg

I want to speak to you this morning about hidden power. This

title was inspired by… [a devotee]…who was telling me a story

of his own experience. He…was taking a music lesson and he

was trying to get his voice out. But he was singing just from the

surface of the power that he had within himself, and his teacher

said to him, “That is the tip of the iceberg. Why do you not go

below and open up, and bring forth this tremendous power of

God, and let it flow through you? It comes from within you.”

And he learned a great lesson.

This is true of each and every one of us. We’re dealing with

the tip of the iceberg. And when you stop to think about it, that

iceberg is very solid; it is very deep. It is hidden under the

ocean—much of it—and it stands there, sometimes a threat to

the ships. But also, it stands there so that when a change


St. Therese of Lisieux By Lorraine Bourcier

Therese Martin was born on Janu-

ary 2nd, 1873 in Alencon, France

into a devout Catholic family. St.

Therese, the Little Flower, lived a

short life but one totally filled

with love for God. When she

made her first communion at age

11, she described it this way:

“there were no demands made, no

struggles, no sacrifices; for a long

time now Jesus and poor little

Therese looked at and understood

each other. That day, it was no

longer simply a look, it was a fu-

sion; they were no longer two,

Therese had vanished as a drop of water is lost in the immensity

of the ocean. Jesus alone remained.”

Her desire to join the Carmelites was so intense that at the age

of 14 she and her father travelled to Rome so she could petition

Pope Leo XIII to let her enter at the age of 15. She was given

permission. Her ideal was simple and direct: “I want to be a

saint.”

The rest of her short life was, on the outside as uneventful as

her early years. In 1895 in obedience to her Superior, she began

to write the story of her childhood which expanded into her auto-

biography “the Story of a Soul”. She died at the age of 24. Pope

Pius XI decreed that Therese of Lisieux was to be the equal pa-

tron with St Francis Xavier, of all the missions and the secon-

dary patron of France with St. Joan of Arc.

How did an obscure nun reach such an exalted honor so soon

after her death? Her sanctity was very ordinary: she wanted to do

the most for everybody and she wanted to do everything with

love.


They are called the ‘slayers of the Self.’ Ye ke cha atma hano

jana—‘Those who are slayers of the Self.’ Actually, the atman

cannot be slayed. But people, for whom the most important

things in the world are those seen through their senses, who be-

lieve that there is nothing beyond their senses, are called ‘slayers

of the atman,’ ‘slayers of the Self.’

In another meaning, they are also ‘slayers of their own Self’

because they are metaphorically killing themselves, shutting out

the immortal light of the inner being and believing that they are

only physical bodies. They are successfully slaying themselves!

Such people go into worlds of enveloping darkness, layer upon

layer of darkness. So what the rishi is saying is, ‘Please wake up

and look; there is something beyond this physical body.’

The famous sage Ramana Maharshi of Tiruvannamalai defined

the whole of Vedanta in a nut-shell, in one sentence which he

used to oft repeat—deham naham koham soham. This is the es-

sence of Vedanta. If you know this, not just theoretically but ex-

perientially, you have known all the Upanishads, the entire Ve-

danta. Deham—‘this body,’ naham—‘I am not.’ Just as, when I

am wearing clothes, you can separate me from my clothes—

these are my clothes and I am different from my clothes. In the

same way, Vedanta says, the Inner-Self is the atman, and the

clothes that one wears is the physical body and that which be-

longs to me cannot be me. Therefore, I am separate and what

belongs to me is separate.

So, deham naham—if ‘I am not the body,’ koham?—then,

‘who am I?’ If somebody says, ‘I am just a bundle of flesh and

bones,’ it is fine. Let them be content with this feeling. But if

someone says, ‘Let me go deeper into this matter; I may not be

just a bundle of flesh and bones, I may be something different.

But who am I?’ Ramana Maharshi said that when one is asked

this question, koham! ‘Who am I?’ koham? Soham is the an-

swer—‘I am not different from That Supreme Being.’ ‘That Su-

preme Self is not different from that Supreme Being.’ ‘That Su-

preme Self am I’ is similar to the Upanishadic statement ‘tat

twam asi’— You are That!’


comes—a change of weather perhaps—the iceberg will melt and

become a part of the ocean. And this is what all of us have to

think of, the power, the tremendous power of God which is

within us. And that power is expressed not by God in the sense

of His absoluteness, but by God who manifests as the Christ

within each and every one of us.

The Hidden Power

But we are born the sons of man. We are all that it describes of

here, in the human sense, with our attachments to worldly de-

sires, worldly things, worldly possessions, worldly goals. And

yet we must go beyond those things. We must go within the

sanctuary of our own souls, and discover that hidden power.

There is a whole universe inside of us, waiting to be explored.

We have the power to travel through the air. We do not concen-

trate on power to be used for such a purpose, but we have that

power within us. We have the power to go to the heart of some-

thing, to discern it, to know what is within each and every indi-

vidual, within each and every atom of space. That hidden power

manifests every moment of our lives. It manifests in the universe

outside of ourselves when it brings the sun up in the morning

and puts it to bed at night, when the stars twinkle in the sky,

when the moon is there to light the way for us in darkness. That

power is hidden in the roar of the ocean. It is hidden in every

creature that is beneath that ocean, and the whole land. And

there is a whole world underneath that ocean surface.

The waves come and they lap on the shore, and then they re-

turn again to its bosom. And we are like those waves. We come

from the ocean of God, sent by Him for a purpose, to touch the

shore of earth in order that we might become one with His Infi-

nite Love, His Infinite Consciousness, His Infinite Will and Be-

ing and Power. But we waste our time, and we cannot do this.

We must wake up and realize who and what we are! We must

wake up and use that hidden power within us.…

I Was with You in Weakness

…I am reminded in this first verse: And I, brethren, when I

came to you, came not with excellency of speech or of wisdom,


declaring unto you the testimony of God. For I determined not to

know anything among you, save Jesus Christ, and him crucified.

And I was with you in weakness, and in fear and in much trem-

bling. And that is the way I started out my ministry because I

was down south with my Guru and asking him to send a minister

up to help us, (I was merely a Center Leader) because we needed

somebody to—that was far more capable than I, I felt—to per-

form marriages and to officiate over baptisms, and burials

(hopefully, we wouldn’t have any). But nevertheless, I felt we

needed a minister because we were developing a crowd of peo-

ple and we needed that service.

So all of a sudden, out of the clear blue, he said to me, “I’ll

make you a minister.” And I thought, ‘Oh, no’ and I wished that

the ground would open up before me and that I could sink six

feet under it. And I said, “But sir, you cannot do that. I haven’t

been with you like your other devotees down here. I never gradu-

ated from any school in my life. I am uneducated insofar as the

standard educations go. I cannot do that.” And he said, “Mildred,

I look in the heart and if I see that the heart is pure, then I make

that one a minister.”

Well, I have lived with me from the beginning of my sojourn

on earth, until that time, and I couldn’t look in my heart and see

it was all that pure! You know, I was human. I had done all of

the things that other human beings had done, and I was strug-

gling. But there’s one thing I had above all others, and that was a

love and a trust for God in this man, this great God-man, who

had one evening, after twenty years of my life, changed my life

completely, my whole outlook—who had taken my conscious-

ness from looking for God and the Christ outside of myself, in

the skies up above, to the place where he told me that Christ was

to be found within myself, that He was that intelligence, that

power, that will, that presence, everything that was life within

myself, that He surrounded me. And all of a sudden I was lifted

up and wrapped in the bliss of His infinite presence.

I Come not with Excellency of Speech

And that is the condition in which I started my ministry, just a

poor, uneducated fool, you might say. And in the beginning it


who denies the Self.’ So, asurya nama te loka means ‘Those

who deny the Inner Reality, who think that this world is all that

is real, that there is nothing more than what they see around

them—they go into worlds of darkness.’

Even without going into the philosophical aspect, one can un-

derstand this. There are people who think that all that there is, is

this world. There is nothing else, there is no inner-world, there is

no atma. We had such believers in ancient India—the charvaka.

They said, ‘Any time you may die—so eat, drink and be merry

as there is nothing else.’ Atheists and agnostics are not only

found in modern times—they have existed since time immemo-

rial. Such people are in utter darkness and misery when they get

a disease or when they lose something, which they consider to be

most precious. They have no one to depend on, no place to put

their faith in, nothing to go back to, no solace, because whatever

they think is real, is finished.

Such personalities who do not have any understanding, who

do not even give a thought to the idea that there might be some-

thing other than this world, finally go to worlds of absolute dark-

ness. That is one meaning.

The other meaning is that ‘without the knowledge of the Self,

one keeps wandering in the darkness of ignorance.’


Wisdom of the Rishis By Sri M

I have recently been reading some of Sri M’s teachings, both

his autobiography, Apprenticed to a Himalayan Master: A

Yogi’s Autobiography, and this book, Wisdom of the Rishis.

Phyllis had been to one of his talks in India where she had the

opportunity to meet him and recommended his books. (After

reading about him, I think I may have heard him give a talk at

Anandashram, but I did not meet him face to face.) Both books

have very much inspired me and reading these discourses is

really the first time I have approached the Upanishads, having

being drawn more to the Gita in the past.

Sri M’s (Mumtaz Ali) story is rather unique. He was born into

a Muslim family in south India and as a child was attracted to

Sufi and Hindu saints. At nineteen he felt an irresistible call to

the Himalayas where he was reunited with his guru, a disciple of

the peerless Babaji. He was initiated into Kriya Yoga, spent a

few years with his master in the high Himalayas and then was

sent back to live in the world, where he familiarized himself with

varied spiritual and religious traditions, adopted the life of a

married householder and when prompted by God, began his life

as a teacher. Perhaps because of his background, he is very uni-

versal in his approach. He says: “Spiritual evolution is not di-

verse from regular living. Intervals of solitude are necessary but

you cannot shut yourself totally. The world around you is your

touchstone to spiritual practice.” Cate Koler

Ishavasya Upanishad: Shloka 3

asurya nama te loka andhena tamasaurutah tams te pretabhi-

gacchanti ye ke cha atma hano janah

Asurya nama te loka andhena tamasa. This means, ‘There are

some worlds which are enveloped in darkness to which those of

demonic nature go.’ ‘Demonic’ does not mean people who look

like devils or monsters. It means demonic nature. Demonic

means ‘one who denies the performance of the Inner Self,’ ‘one


was very, very difficult. Believe me I came not with excellency

of speech or of wisdom. Today, perhaps, I am somewhat differ-

ent than I was then because I have been through tremendous

spiritual experiences, and many, many experiences in life which

have brought me to whatever I am now. Only God knows that.

But in the beginning I tried to give sermons and I would work

over them for hours. And I did a passable job.

The first time, as I think I’ve told you before, I thought I

would just get up and talk about this Master whom I loved with

everything I had, and whom I would have followed to the ends

of the earth! There is nothing I wouldn’t have done for him, even

to give my life—which finally I did—because of my great love

for God in this man. But I talked about him, and all of a sudden I

couldn’t think of another word to say. And I’m sure that I could

have gone on for months and years, speaking about everything

that was in my heart for him. But everything stopped still, and I

was just about to say, “Well, that’s all there is, folks. There isn’t

any more,” when I got another thought and I was able to con-

tinue on.

Forget Myself and Remember Him

But gradually, as I went on in my ministry, I found that if I

would forget myself and open myself to God, and let Him speak

through me, that I didn’t even need to prepare very much. I had

to have a sermon subject, it’s true, and perhaps something to

read from a good book, or something that someone had written,

and certainly a chapter out of one of the scriptures—but I learned

to get up there and just let God speak through me.

In the beginning I prepared more. But as the years went by and

I went through the experiences, and finally the one great experi-

ence of the transformation of ‘the son of man’ within myself, to

the ‘Son of God,’ then the Christ-within-me took over. And then

it came about: But he that is spiritual judgeth all things, yet he

himself is judged of no man. [1 Corinthians 2: 15] And I took

that within myself. And I knew that having paid the tremendous

price I had, that I had paid the full price under the law; therefore,

I was no longer subject to it and I had risen above it.


I Am not Always What You Would Expect

Many who see me in everyday life, see the fun and the gai-

ety—sometimes the wisdom and sometimes just plain foolery—

wonder, ‘is this woman really God-realized? Is she really?’ I

have done some strange things to test people. I remember meet-

ing one individual who sits in the audience now and a relative of

his had brought him to me and was lauding me with praises

which, at that time, in no way did I deserve. But anyway, I went

upstairs and I wondered what I should wear to meet this person

whom she told me was a great soul, and who was searching, but

he was very orthodox. And so I had a kelly-green skirt and it was

all woven with gold thread around the bottom, a border. I had on

a very sheer, beige blouse, a see-through blouse, if you will—

very high heels—and then to top it off, I had long, green, leather

earrings that were in hoops! And that’s the way I came down to

meet this future man who was going to be my disciple. I’m sure

he remembers it well.

So he sat there, and he was a great follower of Saint Paul and

he said, ‘Well, what do you think about what Saint Paul says

about this?’ And, ‘Saint Paul says that’, and so on and so on. We

started from there. And he fought me because he was very ortho-

dox in his thinking. And I don’t remember what I said to him,

just whatever God directed—I hadn’t gone through this tremen-

dous experience at that time so I was still a neophyte. But any-

way, it came to pass that although I had the church open—our

home was the church—every single Thursday evening and every

Sunday, sometimes he was the only one who came. And I was in

the position sometimes when no one came, perhaps because of

weather conditions.

I Begged God to Lift Me Up

And in the beginning I blamed myself. I thought, ‘Well, I’m

not worthy. I told the Master that I wasn’t worthy and he should

have listened to me.’ But anyway, I would sit and meditate. I

would meditate, asking God if I was not worthy, to please make

me fit to be His vessel, that I might help those that were seeking

Him. And gradually the people started to come. And I venture to

say that by now there have been thousands of people who have


her answers satisfied my mind, but although uplifted, I left not

thoroughly convinced.

The next day Althea told me that al-

though she had planned to return home

that week, she felt that she should not

leave until I saw Mother again. So it

was arranged that Mother’s daughter,

Billie, would pick me up after I taught

my Sunday school class at the college

Free Methodist Church.

I was impressed and inspired with the power and spirituality of

Mother’s sermon and stayed afterward to talk with her further. I

knew then that she was the guru for which I had prayed and that

this path was to be mine with her as my guide. From then on I

attended all of the services that I could and often stayed after-

ward on Wednesday evenings to talk into the wee hours with

Mother. (Actually, she did most of the talking.) Always in these

sessions the room would be filled with a soft golden light and

from the incense burner on the altar below Master’s picture

would sound a “ping.” Mother said that this was a sign of his

presence. During one of these sessions Mother gave me the same

pledge of her undying love that Sri Yukteswar gave to

Yogananda. I was speechless to be so blessed!

It wasn’t until recently that I learned from “The Cross and The

Lotus” magazine that Mother was experiencing a “dark night of

the soul” at this time. It was not at all evident from the way she

expressed herself so positively with her dynamic and loving per-

sonality.

In those early years sometimes only I or a few others would be

attending the evening services. There was never a large number.

No matter how few or many came, the talk she gave she deliv-

ered with the same dynamics. Sometimes she would be so weak

and in pain that she had to drag herself out of bed to lead the ser-

vice, she was so dedicated to God. But always, as the Spirit filled

her with Its presence, power and inspiration flowed through her

as if nothing had been wrong.


and anything contrary to these laws doesn’t last long. It contains

within itself the seeds of its own destruction. The good in every

human life always makes it possible for us to obey these laws.

We do have free will about all this, and therefore how soon we

obey and thereby find harmony, both within ourselves and

within our world, is up to us.

MEMORIES OF MOTHER Meeting Mother

by Herlwyn Lutz

[It seemed fitting to reprint this article because in Mother’s

talk this edition (Hidden Power) she speaks about the very inci-

dent Herlwyn describes here. Our dear Herlwyn left the body

almost a year and a half ago. He was the first of Mother’s stu-

dents to become a disciple and is surely with her now.]

A sister of a professor for whom I did garden work was visit-

ing her. She bubbled with joy as we talked, describing how she

followed her inner leadings each moment. I had read of

Yogananda in his autobiography. She said that he was her guru.

While in Seattle, she had been attending the services of his cen-

ter leader and minister, Yogacharya Hamilton. She suggested

that I should meet her. Mother had told her several things about

me. So an appointment was set up.

Greeting me at the door of her home was a beautiful middle-

aged woman wearing Gypsy earrings, heavy makeup and a sheer

blouse. (Mother later told me that God had asked her to do this

as a test of my rising above my fundamentalist training of how a

woman should dress. Apparently I passed the test.) Cordially

welcoming me we went into her living room to talk. I told her

about my search for a deeper spiritual life since the age of 12 and

how at age 17 Yogananda confirmed what I reasoned and intu-

ited about the ultimate nature of the universe and humanity, but I

was still unsure about certain doctrinal matters. I quoted several

verses from the New Testament that, according to my Christian

education, seemed to contradict some of what she and

Yogananda said. (She later used to tease me about this.) Some of


come before me, and I have been before thousands. But gradu-

ally, through the experiences which came to me through my min-

istry, I came to the point where I was opening my heart totally to

God, where I cried for Him. I reached for Him. I yearned for

Him! And I knew that no earthly person, no earthly possession,

no earthly dream could ever fulfill that tremendous longing I had

within myself.

I had to reach out. I had to go through what was necessary, and

I begged God to lift me up, with every bit of strength I had

within myself. And it was then that I went into spiritual experi-

ences. They were the preliminary ones, and some of those were

really something. And it brought me to the point where, after my

Master’s passing, and Swami Ramdas had come to America and

had invited my husband and myself to return there and be with

him, that I was directed to go over there. And I went with the

idea that I was going to help my own Master, my Guru. And it

didn’t turn out that way, in one sense, because I wasn’t able to

change a thing of that which was being done to his works, to his

teachings.

But what did happen was that God lifted me up and He put me

through all of the experiences that are in this New Testament. I

had lived the ones in the Old Testament because that’s the story

of the son of man and all of the things that he does—his begin-

nings in this world and the beginning of the universe, and man’s

beginnings, and all of the things that he goes through until he

comes to that point where he is ready to really realize that the

Christ is within him.

The Hidden Glory

So I went through this tremendous experience of the ‘mystical

crucifixion,’ and I know what every bit of this Bible [means],

although to this day I have never read all of it. I have lived it!

And I can go to any chapter and I know the truth behind the par-

ables that are written because I lived them, not through my own

will, but through the will of God. But it was through opening

myself up that I discovered this hidden power within myself, that

power that has the ability to work miracles! And yet I of myself


do nothing. It has the power to raise man from the dead—and yet

that has happened through this form, but I myself have done

nothing—the power to heal, the power to change man’s con-

sciousness, the power to help him discover within himself all of

the hidden talents and the hidden glory, and to bring it forth and

to change himself from a groveling human being sometimes, to

one who walks with a tall, broad stance and holds his head high.

And there’s a great light in his face and he knows that he can be

counted!

I have tried to dig within each one who has come to me, and

find out where they kept this hidden glory, what their special tal-

ents were, and then to encourage them to develop them so that

they might become themselves. It’s terrible to walk in fear, to

live in fear. If God is directing you to do something within your-

self, for heaven’s sakes, do it! And stop fearing the result be-

cause if He is directing you, He will also take care of it. He will

take care of everything and everyone, about that particular cir-

cumstance, if you will only have faith in Him. There is no hold-

ing back, none whatsoever.

The Supreme Intelligence Within

And yet what do we do? We try to do everything ourselves!

We’re never willing to let go and let God, to let this power, this

tremendous ice that has developed under the tip of the iceberg,

melt and flow and work for us! When something is finished, let

it go! It is finished. It was brought into your life for a purpose,

and when that purpose is finished, to hold yourself in such a po-

sition is to retard your spiritual progress and the progress of

those around you. You must release yourself and stand straight

and tall, and say, I Am That I Am. And you’re also I Am That I

Am, as I told you a few weeks ago, because God is not only the

Supreme Cause, the Supreme Intelligence, the Supreme Every-

thing of the universe, but He is every individual thing within it,

which can be called, I Am That I Am.

And so everything flows together. Everything works together

in this hidden power, the power that helps you to move and live

and breathe and have your being, the power that takes one seed


Then there is the third relinquishment, and that is the relin-

quishment of all attachments. No one is truly free who is still

attached to material things, or to places, or to people. Material

things must be put into their proper place. They are there for use.

It’s all right to use them; that’s what they’re there for. But when

they’ve outlived their usefulness, be ready to relinquish them

and perhaps pass them on to someone who does need them. Any-

thing that you cannot relinquish when it has outlived its useful-

ness possesses you, and in this materialistic age a great many of

us are possessed by our possessions. We are not free.…

Now the last: the relinquishment of all negative feelings. I

want to mention just one negative feeling which the nicest peo-

ple still experience, and that negative feeling is worry. Worry is

not concern, which would motivate you to do everything possi-

ble in a situation. Worry is a useless mulling over of things we

cannot change….

One last comment about negative feelings, which helped me

very much at one time and has helped others. No outward

thing—nothing, nobody from without—can hurt me inside, psy-

chologically. I recognized that I could only be hurt psychologi-

cally by my own wrong actions, which I have control over; by

my own wrong reactions—they are tricky, but I have control

over them too; or by my own inaction in some situations, like the

present world situation, that needs action from me. When I rec-

ognized all this, how free I felt! And I just stopped hurting my-

self. Now someone could do the meanest thing to me and I

would feel deep compassion for this out-of-harmony person, this

psychologically sick person, who is capable of doing mean

things. I certainly would not hurt myself by a wrong reaction of

bitterness or anger. You have complete control over whether or

not you will be hurt psychologically, and any time you want to,

you can stop hurting yourself.

These are the steps toward inner peace that I wanted to share

with you. There’s nothing new about this. This is universal truth.

I merely talked about these things in my own everyday words in

terms of my own personal experience with them. The laws which

govern this universe work for good as soon as we obey them,


There is one more purification, and that is purification of mo-

tive. What is your motive for whatever you may be doing? If it is

pure greed or self-seeking or the wish for self-glorification, I

would say, Don’t do that thing. Don’t do anything you would do

with such a motive. But it isn’t that easy because we tend to do

things with very mixed motives, good and bad motives all mixed

together. Here’s a man in the business world: his motives may

not be the highest, but mixed in with them are motives of caring

for his family and perhaps doing some good in his community.

Mixed motives!…I’ve met a few people who had to change their

jobs in order to change their lives, but I’ve met many more peo-

ple who merely had to change their motive to service in order to

change their lives.

Now, the last part. These are the relinquishments. Once you’ve

made the first relinquishment you have found inner peace, be-

cause it’s the relinquishment of self-will. You can work on this

by refraining from doing any not-good thing you may be moti-

vated toward, but you never suppress it! If you are motivated to

do or say a mean thing, you can always think of a good thing.

You deliberately turn around and use that same energy to do or

say a good thing instead. It works!

The second relinquishment is the relinquishment of the feeling

of separateness. We begin feeling very separate and judging eve-

rything as it relates to us, as though we were the center of the

universe. Even after we know better intellectually, we still judge

things that way. In reality, of course, we are all cells in the body

of humanity. We are not separate from our fellow humans. The

whole thing is a totality. It’s only from that higher viewpoint that

you can know what it is to love your neighbor as yourself. From

that higher viewpoint there becomes just one realistic way to

work, and that is for the good of the whole. As long as you work

for your selfish little self, you’re just one cell against all those

other cells, and you’re way out of harmony. But as soon as you

begin working for the good of the whole, you find yourself in

harmony with all of your fellow human beings. You see, it’s the

easy, harmonious way to live.


and develops it into a child in the mother’s womb, and brings it

forth. And then that power is still in the child and it continues to

grow. Why? Does the mother or the father have anything to do

with that? No! It is the God within, the intelligence within, that

keeps that body growing and growing and developing and devel-

oping, which puts thoughts in the mind and helps the child to

speak and to think and to walk and to gradually become a whole

human being but for one purpose, and that is to find that indeed

you have the presence of God, the power of God within you,

every moment of your lives, if you will only use it.…

You Must Put your Mind on Him

…I am not God, but God is within me, and it is He who speaks

to you, who thinks through you, who acts through this form to do

for all of you. And I am like what the Master said. That is an ex-

act description of my life. I am totally surrendered to God and I

live only for the purpose of serving Him in each one of you. But

I cannot get inside of you and do the work for you. You must

take the techniques that have been given to you. You must take

time out from your busy world and sit and commune with God

and meditate upon Him and listen to His voice of direction, and

raise yourselves up from the sons of man to the Sons of God be-

cause each one of us has that power within us, that power and

that intelligence which, if we will open our hearts—if we will go

beneath the tip of the iceberg, if we will tap that hidden power—

has the power to change our whole lives and our whole world.

And we will never be the same again.

You know how much you have developed since first you

came, the changes that have taken place in your life. But you are

still in mid-stream, many of you, and you still have a way to go.

But it can happen overnight because there is within you a greater

miracle than you will ever find anyplace. And that miracle is the

all-powerful God. And He will guide you. He will direct you. He

will take care of you. He will supply your needs. But you have to

go above your human consciousness, above the idea that you are

doing something, and let God do it. Just relax! Get at peace with

yourself. Open your whole being to Him and put your mind on


Him. Imagine yourself being lifted up into the arms of God.…

Your Destiny in God

…You have a responsibility as a child of God, to go within

yourself, to find out what your destiny is in God, and to take the

necessary means to let go of the past, to let go of anything and

everything which is retarding your spiritual progress, and make

the Christ your sweetheart, your lover, your constant companion.

Go forth in the knowledge that you were brought here but for

one purpose, and that was to be the bride of Christ. And you will

find such light, such satisfaction, such peace, such wonder, such

love, such power starting to develop within you and around you

that you will never be the same again.

Know ye not that ye are Gods? You have the son of God in

you. He is your light, your love, your everything. Go to Him. Be

one with Him. And you will abide in His bliss and in the power

and beauty of His Presence forevermore.

Out of the Mouths of Babes Over the years I have noticed how little chil-

dren respond to seeing the pictures of the saints

we have hanging in our home. Some adults (who

are not devotees) will kind of advert their eyes

when they see them but our grandchildren re-

spond with delight. They have no mental barriers

to the love and joy they see in the eyes of the mas-

ters.

A few months ago our three year old grand-

daughter, Frances, was taking a nap in our bed-

room. She often likes to have Om Sri Ram playing

while she sleeps. This day I entered the room to

see her gazing up at the beautiful large framed

photo of Swami Satchidananda.

“Swamiji loves children,” Frances said authoritatively. “Can I

go see him someday?” -Cate Koler


There is also a fourth preparation and it is the simplification of

life to bring inner and outer wellbeing—psychological and mate-

rial well-being—into harmony in your life. This was made very

easy for me. Just after I dedicated my life to service, I felt that I

could no longer accept more than I needed while others in the

world have less than they need. This moved me to bring my life

down to need-level. I thought it would be difficult. I thought it

would entail a great many hardships, but I was quite wrong….I

discovered this great truth: unnecessary possessions are only un-

necessary burdens.

Then I discovered that there were some purifications required

of me. The first one is such a simple thing: it is purification of

the body. This has to do with your physical living habits. You’d

think this might be the first area in which people would be will-

ing to work, but from practical experience I’ve discovered it’s

often the last because it might mean getting rid of some of our

bad habits, and there is nothing that we cling to more tena-

ciously.

There is a second purification I cannot stress too much be-

cause it is purification of thought. If you realized how powerful

your thoughts are, you would never think a negative thought.

They can be a powerful influence for good when they’re on the

positive side, and they can and do make you physically ill when

they’re on the negative side….If you’re harboring the slightest

bitterness toward anyone, or any unkind thoughts of any sort

whatever, you must get rid of them quickly. They aren’t hurting

anyone but you. It is said that hate injures the hater, not the

hated. It isn’t enough just to do right things and say right things,

you must also think right things before your life can come into

harmony.

The third purification is the purification of desire. What are

the things you desire? Do you desire new clothing, or pleasures,

or new household furnishings or a new car? You can come to the

point of oneness of desire just to know and do your part in the

Life Pattern. When you think about it, is there anything else as

really important to desire?


Peace Pilgrim’s 12 Point Plan [from Steps Toward Inner Peace. Peace Pilgrim walked more than

25,000 miles spreading her message of peace. This material was used

in Yogacharya David’s recent workshop at Loon Lake.]

…I would like to mention some preparations

that were required of me. The first prepara-

tion is a right attitude toward life. This

means—stop being an escapist! Stop being a

surface-liver who stays right in the froth of

the surface. There are millions of these peo-

ple, and they never find anything really

worthwhile. Be willing to face life squarely

and get down beneath the surface of life

where the verities and realities are to be

found. That’s what we are doing here now.

…The second preparation has to do with

bringing our lives into harmony with the

laws that govern this universe. Created are not only the worlds

and the beings but also the laws that govern them. Applying both

in the physical realm and in the psychological realm, these laws

govern human conduct. Insofar as we are able to understand and

bring our lives into harmony with these laws, our lives will be in

harmony. Insofar as we disobey these laws, we create difficulties

for ourselves by our disobedience. We are our own worst ene-

mies. If we are out of harmony through ignorance, we suffer

somewhat; but if we know better and are still out of harmony,

then we suffer a great deal….

…There is also a third preparation that has to do with some-

thing which is unique for every human life, because every one of

us has a special place in the Life Pattern. If you do not yet know

clearly where you fit, I suggest that you try seeking it in recep-

tive silence. I used to walk amid the beauties of nature, just re-

ceptive and silent, and wonderful insights would come to me.

You begin to do your part in the Life Pattern by doing all the

good things you feel motivated toward, even though they are just

little good things at first. You give these priority in your life over

all the superficial things that customarily clutter human lives….


Who But You Could Deck the Flower

with Pearly Dew? By Swami Yogananda

(Dedicated to all Yogoda Students)

Thy baby bud-flower

On the breast of Mother Earth,

Nursed by wind and shower

Opens its lily lips, and in mirth

Sips Thy milk of sunny rays,

While the cradle of the breeze sways.

Then it opens its ruby lips,

spread with the honey of light and dew,

And softly sobs and cries for You.

Then You sing your lullaby soft,

With the rustle of the leaves aloft.

Who but You could deck the flower

with color and pearly dew.

Then your dame nursemaid, Nature,

Grows the baby bud’s stature

Into a full-grown lady flower,

With costume of painted petals.

Then she learns to dance in the hall of bowers,

And in joy drops from her silken tassels

The wealth of fragrance to all and You.

Such beauty and perfumed heart,

Who but You could start

In the flower with lips of pearly dew.


In Memorium: Ramamani 1927-2013

M.K. Ramamani was born on October 6, (Saraswati’s puja

day) and left the body April 17 in Bangalore. She had been a

teacher of Sanskrit at various institutions, including the National

Education Society, a musician and singer, and a lover of saints.

In 1996, when Larry stepped out of the taxi at Anandashram

for the first time, he met Swami Vishwananda and they were in-

stantly bonded. When Yogacharya David, Phyllis, Larry and I

traveled to India in 1998, Swami V was our tour guide. Devotees

of this path met him when he came to US and Canada. Later,

when some of us (including David and Carla) visited Swamiji at

his home we were attended by Swamiji’s niece, Ramamani

(nicknamed Papu), who served him for 25 years. All of us came

away from our time with her feeling like we had just visited a

dear mother. One rarely receives such a loving welcome and

witnesses such an example of selfless service. Dear Mother, you

are now in the bosom of the great saints you revered. - C. K.

A Life of Service By Phyllis Victory

Papu. She is a tiny woman; maybe 5 feet, if she stands on her

tiptoes. She might be easy to miss if you are not listening or

watching for the invisible.

Papu is about 82, and is Swamiji’s niece (the daughter of Swa-

miji’s eldest sister). She lives

with Swami Vishwananda,

looking after his every need.

She came to live with him when

he got sick many years ago and

has stayed. She knows how to

serve; quietly, elegantly and

whole-heartedly.

My real relationship with her

began two visits before, when

our love for each other began to

shine in our eyes. I noticed


mine lit up when she walked into the room; she would enter so

very, very quietly. She almost slips around the door frame; her

own light frame silently appearing. The presence of her body is

followed by a gentle smile and then her eyes light up and she

pours oceans of love into you before she ever so slightly lowers

hers to the floor. She refuses help in the kitchen and a small ex-

plosion arises when I try to move the dishes off of the table and

into the kitchen. ‘It is my duty’ she says, with her eyes shining

invisible beams of light straight into my heart and I know that

she really means it. “It makes me SO happy to serve you…”

She drifts in and out of the room as Swamiji tells me story af-

ter story of his experiences with great saints, but today, at the

end of the second day of stories and pictures, his stories drifted

into the life of Papu and pictures and stories of her spiritual life

came out to lie on the same table where a lifetime of stories

about great Masters and those who love to be in their presence,

had lain. There she was, with Papa and Mataji. Next came a

story of Anandamayi Mai and the time that Ma heard this sweet

girl (Papu) singing Bengali chants. Ma was captivated by her

voice and would always make Papu sing; when Anandamayi Ma

came to Bangalore, Papu composed a beautiful song to Ma, right

on the spot. Everyone in the audience was wildly and apprecia-

tively clapping. Later I came to learn that she plays the Veena

and is quite a composer.

When she visited Anandashram, Papa used to ask her to sing

Om Sri Ram Jai Ram Jai Jai Ram in the hall. Once when she had

chanted for over an hour, Mataji brought her buttermilk to sooth

her throat. There is a picture of Mataji and Papa which is very

special to both Swamiji and Papu, as Papu was allowed to stand

next to Papa; something that Swamiji himself never had the

privilege to do.

And then, in the quiet afternoon, inside the yellow house in

Bangalore, in early March, with Swami Vishwananda and my-

self, Papu unexpectedly burst into song. For 15 minutes we were

treated to the heartfelt Bengali songs that she had also sung for

Anandamayi Ma. She has stolen my heart one more time.

Documents

The Cross and The a new day has begun. Lotus Journal ... · down to us through Lahiri Mahasaya, Swami Sri Yukteswar, Paramhansa Yogananda and Yogacharya Mother Hamilton. The Reverend