17/03/14 1:52 PMThe Conflict by Elisabeth Badinter – Book Review

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The Conflict by Elisabeth Badinter – Book ReviewFEBRUARY 2, 2012 BY MARIA 1 COMMENT (EDIT)

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Mix philosophical debate

with feminism debate and

you get Elisabeth

Badinter’s book on modern day

motherhood ‘The Conflict’.

I deliberately didn’t find out anything

about the author because I wanted the

words to speak for themselves and not

be tainted by bias.

The Conflict was first published in

France and has been translated for

English reading audiences but the

themes throughout the book are fairly

universal.

The back cover reads “So are mums

who rely on formula, childcare and

disposable nappies lazy or liberated?”

Is modern day motherhood seen as

martyrdom? Badinter explores the rapid

change motherhood has undertaken in

the last 40 years with the introduction

of contraception and the feminist

movement that gained momentum in

the late 60’s and early 70’s here in Australia.

Motherhood is now a choice. It is no longer a pre-determined path. And that is a fairly young school of

thought. How motherhood fits in with womanhood is still being nutted out.

However, for me it seems like a logical progression that if women choose to become mothers then they are

going to give it a red-hot go. That’s what women do with regards to everything. We give it a red-hot go.

But Badinter asks whether we have gone too far in our expectations of what it means to be a mother.

Breastfeeding until children are toddlers, co-sleeping, putting our children’s needs ahead of our own. Perhaps

she is right. Perhaps women, once they become mothers have forgotten their sense of self.

Perhaps with the breakdown of the “takes a village to raise a child” mentality our instinct has taken a beating

too. And that is the one thought that kept racing through my mind as I was reading this book. Where has our

instinct gone?

But I think we have started to recognize this already. Mother’s have been kinder to themselves and saying

“near enough is good enough”. Or maybe that’s just me. My eldest is 10 and I can see that if I do sometimes

drop the ball, she won’t be scarred for life. Perhaps that is just a rite of passage, a journey of discovery that

has to be taken by mothers and not a direction out of a book.

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17/03/14 1:52 PMThe Conflict by Elisabeth Badinter – Book Review

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I agree with some points that Badinter raises that motherhood tends to swing between extremes and

absolutism and that does not serve anybody well. But motherhood is fluid. Philosophies and strategies change

over the years; some as a kneejerk reaction to what was before, some are simply an improvement as more

information comes to light.

If any of you saw the British series “Bringing Up Baby” you will see that over the course of three decades three

different types of parenting style emerged.

I do recommend you read The Conflict. It doesn’t hold back.

Motherhood is not a stand-alone topic. It needs to be discussed within the context of society, fatherhood,

childless women, economics, education, values and the list goes on.

And that’s motherhood. Forever changing. Forever complex.

The Conflict is published by The Text Publishing Company.

Words by Maria Tedeschi

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FILED UNDER: UNCATEGORIZED TAGGED WITH: ELISABETH BADINTER, TEXT PUBLISHING COMPANY, THE

CONFLICT

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From the Editor February 2012 says:

February 2, 2012 at 9:20 pm (Edit)

[...] to round off all things mummy I review “The Conflict” by Elisabeth Badinter, France’s foremost

feminist [...]

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