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Dr. Prabath Karunanayake
MBBS, MBA in HRM, PGDipPsych, PGDipOH&SDirector HR, China Harbour Engineering Company
HR Consultant, Corporate Trainer
27th May 2015
Give a hungry man a fish, he
will not starve todayTeach a hungry man how
to fish, he will not starve for life
Teach a hungry man how to
teach others how to fish, the whole
village will not starve for life!!!
Programme contents Balancing work and life Putting first things first The loving and caring life The connected and sharing life The vibrant and energetic life The stress free life
Programme objectives Appreciate the need for a holistic view on
life Achieve results in the areas that are most
important Understand the different ways of
expressing love and affection Build stronger and meaningful
relationships Instil vibrancy and energy into the life Cope successfully with stress Plus …..
Think of a moment in your life when you felt completely balanced
What exactly was happening? What were you doing and how were others
involved? How did you feel? What made you to lose balance afterwards? Why was it difficult to regain balance?
Work-life balance is the proper prioritization between ‘work’ (career,
ambition) and ‘lifestyle’ (health, leisure, pleasure, family, spiritual development)Work-family conflict is the inter-role
conflict in which the role pressures from the work and family are mutually incompatible
Work-life balance does not mean that there must be equal balance across all aspects of an individual’s life
The optimum work-life balance will not remain static but will vary over time
The best work-life balance will be different for each person. There is no one size fits all in work-life balance
A balance of …Time
Involvement Satisfaction
The reality In Australia, those who took leave over
Christmas/New year period 85% were accessible to work 63% were available for work calls on their
mobile 13% checked official e-mail 9% used their laptops to work remotely
In the US, 72% of absenteeism is due to childcare related issues
In Sri Lanka …..
Barriers to balanceTime
I should…Feeling guilty
Climbing the ‘ladder’ Failure to set limits
Can’t say noComplaining, comparing, competing
Impact of imbalance Feeling unhappy at work Being unproductive at work Neglecting other aspects of life More hours at work means more hours
outside of work thinking or worrying about it Experience negative effects on personal lives
lack of personal development physical and mental health problems poor relationships poor home life
Symptoms of imbalancePhysical
symptomsSleep disturbances
Weight changesDigestive problems
Headache and migraine
PalpitationsRapid breathing
Tremors
Psychosocial symptoms
AngerIrritabilitySadnessAnxiety
Lack of interest and apathy
Defensiveness pessimism
Behavioural symptoms
Changes in eating habits
Avoidance and withdrawalGetting into
unhealthy habitsGiving up healthy
habits Poor personal
hygiene
Holistic livingYou give your best at the office, you spend countless hours at office, you achieve many things. Of course you are rewarded, you get the promotion you always dreamed of and all the perks to go with it. You go home to find that you have neglected your family so much that your wife has filed for divorce, your teenage son is on drugs and your teenage daughter is pregnant. You have neglected your health so much that you have developed diabetes and hypertension and you will have to be on medication for life. You feel like you have lost everything and you end up with a depression.
Success is not defined by what you achieve in one facet of life, but what you achieve in all these facets
Neglecting one or more aspects over others will only cause greater imbalance and inability to face the challenges of life
A holistic life is made up of many facets: Career Money Health Family & friends
Romance Personal growth Fun & recreation Physical environment
PUTTING FIRST THINGS FIRST
Things which matter most, must never be at the mercy of things which matter least – Goethe
While leadership decided what ‘first things’ are, management that puts them first
Have to move beyond to-do-lists, calendars and priorities
Action is determined by two things: Urgency, which means it requires immediate
attention Importance, which means it contributes to
your mission, your values and your high priority goals
I IIIII
IV
CrisesPressing problems
Deadline driven projects
InterruptionsCalls, mailMeetings
Popular activities
PlanningPrevention
Relationship building
New opportunities
TriviaBusy workPleasant activities
Time management matrixUrgent Not urgent
Important
Notimporta
nt
Only way to get time for Quadrant II is to take it from Quadrant III and Quadrant IV
Can’t ignore the urgent and important activities in Quadrant I, but they will shrink with time
Have to be proactive in Quadrant II at all times.
Quadrants I and III act on you, wear you down
Quadrant II needs to be acted upon proactively
To say ‘yes’ to important Quadrant II activities, you have to say ‘no’ to some other activities
In the end you have to say ‘no’ to something, so choose Quadrant III and IV activities
Quadrant II focus
It is almost impossible: To say ‘no’ to the popularity of Quadrant III
tasks Not to escape the pleasure of Quadrant IV
tasksif you don’t have a bigger ‘yes’ burning
inside you Only when you have the self-awareness to
examine your programme can you say ‘yes’ to the proper requests
Only then can you say ‘no’ with a genuine smile to the unimportant
Coherence – create harmony, unity, and integrity between your vision and mission, between goals and roles, between priorities and plans
Balance – identify roles and goals and keep them in front of you.
The ‘people’ dimension – deal with people not just schedules
Flexibility – planning tools must be servants, never the master
Portability – carry the tools with you at all times
Quadrant II tools
Weekly planner Need to focus on spending time on priorities,
rather than prioritizing on what you spend time Need to plan
A day is too short (inflexible) A year is too long (uncertain) A week is the ideal block
Identify the priorities and allocate time for them
Identify the roles you play, the goals you want to achieve and the time you might need to spend on each goal
Identifying roles – write down your key roles in your personal and professional lives
Selecting goals – think of two or three important results you feel you should accomplish in each role during the next week
Scheduling – look at the week ahead with your goals in mind and schedule time to achieve them
Daily adapting – prioritize activities already scheduled in and respond to unanticipated events, relationships and experiences in a meaningful way
THELOVING
AND CARING
LIFE
It starts as a child …
… and continues through adulthood.
Everyone needs to know they are loved!
Everyone needs love
How many times have you seen a couple fall apart?
He doesn’t care about
me
She doesn’t
care about me
Both DO care about each other!But they are reaching out to each other
in a language the other does not understand!He brings her roses,
She’d like help with the kidsShe cooks his favourite meal,
He’d like more affection
Languages of love
Language #1 Words of affirmation
These are compliments or words of appreciation.
It is not saying something nice so you can get what you want from them.
Also included are words of encouragement.
The tone of your voice matters. Keep it kind!
If asking for something, make it a request, not a demand.
Quality time is spending time with each other, without being distracted by things around you.
You are both doing an activity you enjoy (or one enjoys and the other is willing to do), to be together, and the focus is not on the activity as much as it is on being together.
No interrupting, no giving advice Listen to what they are saying and
respond kindly to it. Be willing to share your feelings, wishes,
and dreams.
Language #2 Quality time
A gift is a visual symbol of the love you have for the other.
The cost of the gift does not matter, as much as the thought and effort put into giving the gift.
Gifts may be homemade, bought, or found.
Love is a difficult emotion to express, and a gift is a visual symbol of that love.
Language #3 Receiving gifts
Acts of service is love expressed by actions. You put thought, time, energy, and effort into
deciding what would please your spouse the most.
Love this way may be shown as helping with various chores, such as cleaning. It may be taking the children out for the afternoon so your spouse can have some quiet time alone.
It takes time and effort to decide what specific actions would mean the most to your spouse. What is important to one might not be important to another.
Language #4 Acts of service
It may include hugs, holding hands, a brief touch to one’s shoulder, or a brief kiss before leaving home.
We all have a need to have physical touch in our lives, from the time we are infants.
People who express love in this way have a greater need than others.
Language #5 Physical tough
No matter what the form of love you show, It’s not really love if you are expecting
something in return. Love is freely given, in a way that the other
person can understand, with no demands on the other person to give back in the same way.
Real love is not as much an emotion as it is a choice and a series of actions to express that choice.
You cannot change the past, but you can apologize and make the future different.
THECONNECTED AND
SHARING LIFE
The maturity continuum‘You are responsible to
give me direction, nurturing and sustenance’
Paradigm of YOU
Need others to get what you want
DEPENDENT
‘I am responsible for myself and I can create my own
destiny’Paradigm of I
Get what you want through your own effortINDEPENDENT
‘I am a team player and I have power and influence with people’
Paradigm of WE
Combine your own efforts with the efforts of others to achieve greater success
INTERDEPENDENT
Relationships are like houses, in order for them to stand the tests of time, they need a good foundation.
Having a good foundation helps to have a strong, yet flexible relationship
Six foundations of strong relationships are: Listening Empathy Understanding
Foundations of relationships
Trust Respect Synergy
Making a conscious effort to hear and understand what people are saying
Responding appropriately to improve understanding
Not allowing yourself to become distracted by whatever may be going on around you
Not forming counter arguments that you'll make when the other person stops speaking
Letting the other person know that you are listening to what he/she is saying
Listening
Sensing another’s feelings and attitudes as if we have experienced them ourselves
Being aware of, being sensitive to, understanding and experiencing the thoughts, feelings and experiences of others
Our willingness to enter another person’s world and share that person’s experiences, whether positive or negative
Our ability to communicate to the other person our feelings of sensitivity towards them
Empathizing
Understanding yourself in terms of values, beliefs, attitudes and behaviours
Seeking first to understand, then to be understood
Having an open mind and accepting the fact that all are not the same and appreciating the beauty of diversity
Accepting that everyone does what is best as they see it, given the circumstance and available resources
Understanding
Doing what you say, and saying what you do
Practicing genuine, open and candid communication
Making and keeping promises, striving to under-promise and over-deliver
Being trustworthy to yourself by practicing honesty, integrity and keeping promises to yourself
Building Trust
Showing consideration, courtesy and care for someone and treating them the way you want them to treat you
Treating people the same no matter their race, religion, gender, size, age, or country of origin
Listening to what others have to say before expressing your viewpoint, never speaking over, butting in, or cutting off another person
Respecting yourself so that you can move forward with confidence to respect others
Respecting
Choosing to work together with open, trusting intention to embrace each others differences and to overcome the challenges that will inevitably arise
Being open to differences and new ideas and accepting the fact that the best idea might not be your one
Thinking win-win Controlling negative judgments Being able to apologize, forgive and forget
Synergizing
The world of make believe
Don’t ask yourself what the world needs;
ask yourself what makes you come
alive. And then go and do that. Because what the world needs
is people who have come alive….
… alive means passion, it means
lighting that fire in your heart.
A man who hasn't found something to die for; he
isn't fit to live - Martin Luther King, Jr. -
Energetic life More than just increasing physical activity
and stamina Means being alert and interested, excited
and stimulated by life and its possibilities Means recapturing that feeling of being alive Need to constantly renew and reenergize Accept the fact that there will be low periods
in life, but believe that they are temporary No one can rob you of your energy unless
you allow them to do so
Energetic people deeply honor and respect themselves completely accept themselves for who they
are don't take themselves too seriously see challenges as opportunities switch their negative thoughts as rapidly fun to be around love and accept people for who they are
Energetic and vibrant body starts in the mind
Believe in yourself and never give into doubt
Respect yourself for your uniqueness and who you are
Forget about what others think about you
Accept your ‘good’ and ‘bad’ qualities, your flaws and your talents, your mistakes and your achievements
Watch Your Self-judgment and Self-criticism and believe in
yourself
No matter what people do or say, learn to accept it, move on, and look back and laugh
Forgive Yourself and forgive others when bad things happen
Think Creatively when challenges present themselves
Be Thankful for all the gifts you have
Live in the present moment because yesterday is history and tomorrow is a mystery
Building energy and vibrancy
Exercise your body Exercise your mind Listen to lively music Get enough sleep Take a 10-30 minute nap during the
afternoon Act energetic Talk to friends Get something done Do NOT use food
THE STRESS-
FREE LIFE
Coping with stress In many instances, the employees
themselves will have to improve their resilience and be better organized at work
Your ability to deal with it can mean the difference between success or failure
There are many things in life that cannot be changed, but stress is NOT one of them
Finding ways to manage workplace stress isn’t about making huge changes or rethinking career ambitions, but rather about focusing on the one thing that’s always within your control – YOU
Change perceptions and attitudes about the world
Set reasonable/realistic goalsBreak jobs/tasks into
manageable partsAvoid procrastination
Set boundariesDo not compromising your
values/beliefsSwitch from needs to wants
Cognitive techniques
Listen to music, practice deep breathing, abdominal breathing and alternate-nostril breathing, practice meditation with breathing, chanting or visualization, massage, and do yoga
Behavioural techniques
Be active everyday, do aerobic exercise 30 minutes 3-5 days a
week, strength and flexibility exercise 30 minutes 2-3 days and cut down on sedentary activities
Heed your body’s need for rest, get good quality sleep (irrespective of quantity), do not feel guilty of resting
Have a balanced diet and avoid too much sugar, salt, caffeine and processed foods
Challenge your negative thoughts, look at them
rationally and change your worldview before
complaining
Practice moderation and balance in all areas of life, strive for a holistic and balanced life
Avoid unhealthy habits, say no to smoking, alcohol, drugs etc.
Reach out to another human being both in terms of sharing
the problems as well as offering a helping hand
Explore and understand the purpose of life, our contribution to this world and how we can make the world a better place
63
Getting you Work/Life in Balance Negotiate a change with your employer Find a new job Find a new career Slow down Learn to better manage your time, avoid
procrastination Share the load Let things go Explore your options, get help Take charge, set priorities Simplify
Set goals, plan and prioritize Have structure in place Practice good time management Undertake training in techniques required Take holidays and long weekends Reward yourself Stay healthy Be positive, passionate and enthusiastic Love your job Love your life
Don’t overbook Prioritize ruthlessly Learn how to say no Organize Use technology …but don’t overdo it Know it won’t always be perfect
66
Creating Work/Life Balance for others Realize the importance of work-life balance in
today’s workplace Conduct employee surveys Set priorities for all work Train line managers to recognize signs of
overwork Use flexible work arrangements and, if
possible , promote telecommuting Encourage the use of vacation and sick-leave
time Limit how often employees take work home Organize workshops on work-life balance
Programme objectives Appreciate the need for a holistic view on
life Achieve results in the areas that are most
important Understand the different ways of
expressing love and affection Build stronger and meaningful
relationships Instil vibrancy and energy into the life Cope successfully with stress Lead a balanced and fulfilling life
Small things matter …
