The Application of Probability Techniques to the Selection of

an Optimum Girlfriend

SG Pickering

Department of Mechanical Engineering

University of Bath

Contents

• Motivation

• Theoretical Basis

• Results of Preliminary Investigations

• Further work

Motivation

• PhD research with a useful application• The “Could I do better?” mindset

– Are you fulfilling your potential– Applicable to both male and female relationships

• The complex mathematical reasoning will confuse your girlfriend and hopefully stop her from crying when you tell her that you know you can do better

The Law1. Try 1/e (37%) of those Young Ladies whom you

can pull (To assess the general quality of the population).

2. Calculate a ranking for each of these girls.3. Try the remaining c.63% one by one.4. Stop as soon as you rank the current young lady

higher than any of those tested in Part 1.5. She is probably the best girlfriend (in your world).

Don’t tell her that she was chosen by a mathematical formula.

Theoretical Basis

Filling the Gaps

• How many girls could you realistically pull?

• How do you rate the girls whom you pull?

Population Space

• Assuming 2 visits/week to a night club• Pull probability 33% (adjust as required)• Maximum # of pulls / year

– 1 night relationship (cursory examination) 29 girls/year

– 4 week relationship (basic info) 11 girls/year

– 12 week relationship (advanced info) 4 girls/year

Rating Your Girlfriend: Subjective Metrics

• Attractiveness– Face, breasts, legs, arse, hair colour,

height, nationality, camel, body shape

• Skills– Cooking, cleaning, talking, BJ, sexual

abilities & adventurousness

• Miscellaneous– Quality of her friends, her ‘reputation’

Subjective Rating ScaleRating Index Problems noted by Description

1 - Awful Any boyfriendNot

acceptable2

Average boyfriend3

4Borderline

5 - Mediocre

Critical boyfriend6

Acceptable

7

8

9 Trained observer

10 - Excellent Not perceptible

Rating Your Girlfriend:Objective Metrics

• Intelligence

• Wealth

• Shopping or preferably lack thereof (except at Christmas/Birthday time)

• Ironing ability

• Does she approve of your friends?

Preliminary Investigations

• A study was carried out by the author with the Help of Mr. Ball

• During the past 2 weeks

• Population size of 150 girls

Subject A

The Good

Current Work

• Obtaining more test data

• Trying to not obtain bad data

• …

Further Work

• Comparison of The Law with a normal (random) approach

• Application of technique:

Contact Details

Simon Pickering MEng

Dept. of Mechanical EngineeringUniversity of BathBath, BA2 7AY01225 383314

S.G.Pickering@bath.ac.uk