Talking to Your Kids Talking to Your Kids About Money About Money

TroublesTroubles

Gary Malone, LMFT, CFLEGary Malone, LMFT, CFLE

Child, Family, & Consumer Child, Family, & Consumer SciencesSciences

Life Has Been Good!Life Has Been Good!

Who would have Thought?Who would have Thought?

The dramatic downturn in real estate!The dramatic downturn in real estate! 10/09 --35% of LA homes up-side down!10/09 --35% of LA homes up-side down! The most severe recession since the The most severe recession since the

Great Depression!Great Depression! Jobless rates of 10% (17% estimates)!Jobless rates of 10% (17% estimates)! Government jobs no-longer secure!Government jobs no-longer secure!

Things Aren’t as Rosy!Things Aren’t as Rosy!

Things Aren’t as Rosy!Things Aren’t as Rosy!

StressStress

Stress is the way we react to the demands Stress is the way we react to the demands of life mentally, physically and emotionally.of life mentally, physically and emotionally.

Family Stress is an upset to the Family Stress is an upset to the steady steady statestate of the family! “ A big rock in the of the family! “ A big rock in the family pond!”family pond!”

Family Systems TheoryFamily Systems Theory

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C

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GMC

During Family Crisis During Family Crisis Keep Your Conversations Keep Your Conversations

Private!Private!

Kids understand Kids understand more than you more than you think!think!

But not as much But not as much as you’d think!as you’d think!

Manage Your Stress LevelsManage Your Stress Levels

Crisis is an accumulation of smaller stresses Crisis is an accumulation of smaller stresses over time.over time.

Even strong parents & families go into Crisis!Even strong parents & families go into Crisis! Just “toughing it out” is not managing.Just “toughing it out” is not managing. Get support – Use ResourcesGet support – Use Resources EAP / Church / Doctor / Mental Health EAP / Church / Doctor / Mental Health

CounselorCounselor Relaxation techniques / Exercise / YogaRelaxation techniques / Exercise / Yoga

Talking to Your KidsTalking to Your Kids Be honest but skip the drama. (Be honest but skip the drama. (We’re trying to cut back. We’re trying to cut back.

That’s why we aren’t renting as many movies or ordering That’s why we aren’t renting as many movies or ordering pizza.)pizza.)

Be honest, but don’t tell them everything is OK when you Be honest, but don’t tell them everything is OK when you are going to get laid off. are going to get laid off. ( They need to trust what you tell ( They need to trust what you tell them.)them.)

Don’t tell them more than they need to know. Don’t tell them more than they need to know. ( Don’t ( Don’t share every detail.) share every detail.)

During your talk, don’t convey fear or anxiety, even if you During your talk, don’t convey fear or anxiety, even if you feel it. feel it. (Parent’s distress upsets kids more than the loss (Parent’s distress upsets kids more than the loss of material things.)of material things.)

Make sure you and your spouse agree on what you are Make sure you and your spouse agree on what you are going to say.going to say. ( Don’t send mixed messages.) ( Don’t send mixed messages.)

Talking to Younger KidsTalking to Younger Kids5 to 95 to 9

Younger kids are most concerned about Younger kids are most concerned about themselves and need assurance in simple and themselves and need assurance in simple and concrete terms that they will be cared for.concrete terms that they will be cared for.

Many can understand the concept of saving to Many can understand the concept of saving to buy more expensive things later.buy more expensive things later.

They can make wish lists of what they want for They can make wish lists of what they want for birthdays & Christmas.birthdays & Christmas.

It’s OK to reject pleas. You’re not depriving your It’s OK to reject pleas. You’re not depriving your Child. (Your teaching them important lessons Child. (Your teaching them important lessons about delaying gratification, earning rewards, about delaying gratification, earning rewards, and family finances.) and family finances.)

Talking to PreteensTalking to Preteens10 to 1210 to 12

Kids these ages are very concerned how they look to Kids these ages are very concerned how they look to their peers. their peers.

However, they can put things together in more However, they can put things together in more complex ways and understand the financial complex ways and understand the financial pressures on the family.pressures on the family.

Preteens are old enough to save and plan ahead for Preteens are old enough to save and plan ahead for purchases.purchases.

Let then know they are not alone. You can’t always Let then know they are not alone. You can’t always buy something you want right away. buy something you want right away.

Let them know everyone has to cut back, even you. Let them know everyone has to cut back, even you. (If they are really motivated, remind them they can earn (If they are really motivated, remind them they can earn money towards what they really want.)money towards what they really want.)

Talking to TeenagersTalking to Teenagers

Teens may feel the most pressure to keep up Teens may feel the most pressure to keep up with fashions and what their friends have.with fashions and what their friends have.

Teens are Teens are capablecapable of understanding the effects of understanding the effects of economic crisis and can discuss issues in of economic crisis and can discuss issues in more detail.more detail.

They can get upset about things that may feel They can get upset about things that may feel directed at you, but they usually come around to directed at you, but they usually come around to understand it’s not your fault.understand it’s not your fault.

Through part-time jobs, teens can earn money Through part-time jobs, teens can earn money outside of the home to cover many of their own outside of the home to cover many of their own expenses. expenses.

Some Final ThoughtsSome Final Thoughts We are the YES generation of parents to our We are the YES generation of parents to our

kids because we love them and always want the kids because we love them and always want the best for them. But sometimes we need to learn best for them. But sometimes we need to learn to say NO. Both to inappropriate behavior and to say NO. Both to inappropriate behavior and to things they want, but not need. to things they want, but not need.

Explore fun, low-cost activities. Most of the best Explore fun, low-cost activities. Most of the best memories of childhood were spent being memories of childhood were spent being connected to family.connected to family.

Get your children involved in the solution. It Get your children involved in the solution. It gives them a sense of control.gives them a sense of control.

Lastly, kids are resilient. They have an Lastly, kids are resilient. They have an incredible ability to overcome adversity and incredible ability to overcome adversity and become stronger people for it. become stronger people for it.

A crisis is also an opportunity to A crisis is also an opportunity to get stronger as a family.get stronger as a family.

Gary A. Malone, MFT, Gary A. Malone, MFT, CFLECFLE

125 E. Barstow, Ste 109125 E. Barstow, Ste 109

Fresno, CA 93710Fresno, CA 93710

447-9468447-9468