Supreme Court Researches Naked Body Scanner

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Supreme Court Researches Naked Body Scanner

By

Alan Prest

January 24, 2011 [email protected]



INT. U.S. SUPREME COURT - DAY

The Supreme Court is in progress. The CHIEF JUSTICE speaks.

CHIEF JUSTICETo assess the case of Tina Hiney

and Frank Seymour vs. the UnitedStates of America, the court willadjourn so members can experienceTransportation Security Agencypassenger screening.

Chief Justice bangs the gavel.

INT. AIRPORT SECURITY SCREENING AREA - DAY

The Chief Justice stands before Justices ALITO, THOMAS andSOTOMAYOR.

CHIEF JUSTICEWho wants to be screened first?

JUSTICE ALITOI will.

ITALIAN SPAGHETTI WESTERN MUSIC plays as black robed SamuelAlito saunters to the security scanner, a hulkingmachine. When he stops, Alito THRUSTS his hips back andforth several times in spastic fashion.

A TSA AGENT starts the scanner. The machine makes LOUD

BUZZING NOISE and a BREEZE blows Alito’s robe to hismid-calf, where his support socks can be seen. After thebuzzing stops, the scanner flashes "Micro Penis." Anembarrassed Alito slinks away.

CHIEF JUSTICENext?

Justice Clarence Thomas steps forward as PORN MUSICplays. Thomas remains expressionless. The machine BUZZESand a BREEZE blows his robe up to his knees, exposing hispenis (which is blocked out by a blurred circle). Thescanner flashes "Long Dong Silver." The robot like Thomassmiles ever so slightly, then moves deeper into the securityarea.

CHIEF JUSTICEMadame, after you?

(CONTINUED)



CONTINUED: 2.

SOTOMAYORGracia, senor.

HOT LATIN music plays as she steps forward, her robeunzipped enough to see her cleavage. The male TSA agentwrings his hands in anticipation. Instead of stepping infront of the machine, Justice Sotomayor whispers to the TSA

agent, who turns and screams aloud.

TSA AGENTOpt out! We have an opt out!

THREE TSA AGENTS rush over. They hurriedly escort Sotomayoraway. The Chief Justice looks around nervously.

CHIEF JUSTICEIt looks like I’m the only oneleft.

As he walks uncomfortably forward, PEE WEE HERMAN MUSIC

plays. Chief Justice Roberts stops in front of the nakedbody scanner. He’s trembling and sweating profusely. TheBUZZING NOISE is prolonged. The agent seems concerned. Hecalls on his radio.

TSA AGENTCan’t get a reading.

TSA SCANNER EXPERT (O.S.)Crank it up to 100 timesmagnification.

TSA AGENTIt’s already there.

The machine utters a LOUD POP and BELLOWS SMOKE. Thereading says "Nano Penis." Roberts seems slightly relievedthe ordeal is over.

He wanders deeper into the security area where he findsJustice Sotomayor smack in the middle of THRONGS OFPASSENGERS. She is being felt up by two men in TSAjackets. The taller white man is working Sotomayor’s boobs,while a short, stocky black man explores her thighs andcrotch. They turn their heads toward the Chief Justice,

revealing the men to be Justices Alito and Thomas.

JUSTICE ALITOThe hands on portion is moststimulating.

Justice Thomas nods his head, with an ecstatic look on hisface. Sotomayor has her arms in the air. Here body isshaking wildly and she has a shocked look on her face.

(CONTINUED)



CONTINUED: 3.

CHIEF JUSTICEI think we’ve learned alot.

INT. U.S. SUPREME COURT - DAY

Chief Justice Robersts BANGS the gavel.

CHIEF JUSTICEThe court reached a verdict in thecase of the TSA vs.Seymour-Hiney. The Court rules 5-3in favor of the TSA. We have an oddvote total due to JusticeSotomayor’s opting out of the case.I’ll get her vote added when she isdischarged from psychiatriccare. Alito you take Dulles, whileThomas and I head to

Reagan. Adjourned!

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Supreme Court Researches Naked Body Scanner