Storing Up Stones in Places of Grace

8/7/2019 Storing Up Stones in Places of Grace

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Storing Up Stones in Places of Grace

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jt7LdZwegkU

"I don't need this.""I don't want this.""I hate this.""What is this?"Where did this come from?"Why do I have this?"Whose is this?""This hurts.""I remember this.""I didn't ask for this."

"Where should I put . . . this?"One thing is for certain: there really is a lot of this.

I grew up in a family that accepted transition as a stable state of being. If I begin onTexas Street -- the first house I really remember -- I can close my eyes, unfold thememory map, and wind my mind down the roads of yesterday through tiny townsand sprawling cities, spooky old houses to paper-thin-walled apartments, rollingyards and willow trees to parking lots so close our headlights almost touched thefront door. Sometimes we lived among people who cared -- like a grandmother down

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the hall -- or ones who just stared, like the woman in a lawn chair smoking in thedark outside the door next door. Sometimes we had stuff: matching colonial bunkbeds and nightstands . . . and sometimes we had borrowed beds and crates. Weculled our things based on the size of the U-Haul and the amount still owed when itwas time to move on . . . and we moved on, leaving a bit of "this" behind in alleyseverywhere. Detaching was as easy as attaching.

Pity me not, for I am rich with memories far greater than the mass of stuff I mighthave stored up in their place. Some of the memories are painful, yes, but whensifted with the others -- like swirling together shades of paint, it is a color I can livewith on the walls of my life.

It is the splash of clashing color here and there, left uncovered, that bothers me. Ihave painted around them, left them on a to-do-list, waiting for a better brushperhaps, or a taller ladder to stand on, or, thought I might re-do that wall in that color and let it become me. No. Not this time.

We should gather up all the reckless words that are splattered on our walls of consciousness like rocks along a creek bank and chuck them in, listening to theplunk as they hit the water and slide to the bottom, invisible. You would thinkforgiveness would do that. Forgive and forget, for words will never . . . desert me.Like all those old addresses, we should leave these stone houses behind and notlive there anymore, but instead, the words refuse to relinquish the view when we arepanning the horizon for a new road.

We have done . . . they have said . Which will linger? The deed or the descriptionand declaration of it? Even if it were possible to move permanently into a pattern of purity, the sting of description would cast its shadow on that land. Whether we wereproclaimed by those who struggle with "lesser things" as just weak and self-serving . . . or were dismissed as an apostate beyond redemption for havingsuccumbed to repetitive sin -- the crop of our addiction -- the words and labels affixthemselves. The cruel eye-jabbing by Christians who become absorbed in thefailings of others -- "You've sinned against all Christianity for all eternity" -- piercesthe heart and builds a wall the sinner never could.

If we let it.

I think one of the most difficult steps a struggler takes is learning to listen . . . andnot. Listen to God. Listen to those God sends your way to speak on His behalf.Listen to the Holy Spirit speaking in your stillness when you close the shutters to the

outside interference. Listen to God's Word. Listen to those who have walked your path and know the pull and pain . . . but are finding victory and want to share it.

Don't listen to those old echoes that Satan whispers into your hopeful thoughts. If Iallow all the things that have been said to me and said about me andpredicted of me to swirl around in my mind, they become like a whirlpool and I amswiftly drawn under, away from God's truths to Satan's lies. It really doesn't matter whether the words were thrown our way in justified anger, reactionary pain for the



hurt we caused, or just in the releasing of the air of Christian superiority from thesupposed unfallen, they all pile up like stones to ground our souls from soaring,tethering us to the past.

Even when we have been dismissed by some as beyond hope . . . and findourselves the target of their judgmental silence . . . we hang on to the words theyonce used in misguided motivational efforts to shock or shame us into freedom.Echoes, stored for later reverberation. Preserved syllables that slip out to form an

obstacle course for hope.

Here are words to remember . . . which have hopefully been said to you:

Jesus loves you.Jesus redeems.Jesus restores.Jesus forgives.Jesus knows.

Jesus hears.Jesus wept.Jesus paid.Jesus can.Jesus will.Jesus has.Jesus is.

Words to forget . . . which may have been said to you:

Uh . . . uhh. Not here. Forget those. They may have been justified at the time; theshock value may have jolted you into a real desire for repentance. You may haveneeded to hear them at the time to force you out of denial, to face the falsehood andfind a thirst for the truth. Maybe those words woke you up to who you were. But . . . if you are moving on, then repeating them to yourself now only takes you back tothere. Don't go.

Much like taking our sins to the cross, we need to load up a bunch of hurtful wordsand leave them there also. Words we said, either in defense or defiance, and wordslaunched at us like heart-seeking missiles which we pretended to dodge, but whichlodged deep inside us.

Here are some words I hope you have heard and will hear from a brother or sister in

Christ and that you will never forget:

"I love you.""I forgive you.""I am here."



Speak and act as those who are going to be judged by the law that givesfreedom, because judgment without mercy will be shown to anyone who

has not been merciful. Mercy triumphs over judgment! James 2:12-13

Mercy triumphs.

But He gives us more grace. That is why Scripture says:“God opposes the proud

but shows favor to the humble." -- James 4:6

Grace is abundant.

Christians, no matter how sanctified and justified, need to "practice" mercy andgrace. We don't come across these traits naturally. If we did, we would not need thatstill-small-voice inside us that occasionally puts a finger to our lips and hushes our

natural ways so we can hear beyond ourselves and know that there are thoughtsbeyond our own which are better and purer, able to do more than point out faults . . .and indeed, point to promises.

Stop for just a moment and try really, really hard to believe, first of all, that God lovesyou beyond all your imagining and enough to have created all there is and youbecause of that love. Then try to think of what He wants to say to you. His voice isgreater than all those others that will rush in to fill the void of silent waiting. So, wait.Hear Him?

That's grace . . . the fact that no matter what you've done or who has spoken of itand judged you for it and believes you can never move beyond it . . . He speaks the

truth to you about it . . . and about you. And about what the two of you can do. About. . . even . . . this.

Y ou have searched me, Lord, and You know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; You perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going

out and my lying down; You are familiar with all my ways. -- Psalm 139: 1-3

To God, we are not a passing thought, a momentary project. He does notmove on. He knows not, "oh, well." He searches us. He is familiar with all

our ways. He knows us.

Based on all of that, He always knows what to say if we will but clear theclutter that clogs our ears, and listen.

What a sweet, sweet sound.

God Bless,



Thom

(I'm now available to speak to your group or your church. Just e-mail me at [email protected] for details. Also . . . SurvivingSexual Brokenness is now available on Amazon.com for only $10.86. It would be a great donation to your church library and

perhaps the only resource available there for the sexually-broken. Thanks!)

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Storing Up Stones in Places of Grace