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JUNE 2014
StirFry Seminars & Consulting
How Many More Don Sterlings Are There?For the past few weeks, I have wrestled with how to fully express how I feel about the Donald Sterling episode and all the reactions around his statements. Today, as I was browsing through the internet news sites, I read an article about a wounded former white marine who was refused a seat on American Airlines for bringing his service dog aboard. It was discovered later that the airline had violated its own rules. To which the man later lamented to a reporter, “This is America. You’d expect that no one would be discriminated in this way.” On the surface, it all seems reasonable and touching. Yet, that is not my expectation —nor that of most minorities who live in this country. We live and survive discrimination every day, much like when Arthur Ashe was asked if he experienced racism, he answered, “It’s not a question if I experience racism, but rather when.”
Discrimination is a reality of my life and of so many others in this country. I try not to let racism define me, but it is an ongoing battle that impacts me every day.To the point where sometimes I’m just plain tired and overwhelmed at the daily barrage of hateful racist images and statements by politicians, the clergy, heads of companies, politicians, television and radio commentators and even educators. It is an unending litany of discrimination that no longer shocks me, but always wounds me emotionally and spiritually.
To me, Donald Sterling is just a microcosm of a larger, more pervasive racist attitude and behavior in this country. What has been overlooked was that he was upset with his girlfriend because his ‘friends’ had called him about her picture with Magic Johnson. Friends that probably feel the same way that he does, but don’t make it public. You see, I don’t feel that Donald made a “one time mistake”, but rather only that he was caught after years of racist behavior and business practices. My sense is that he wouldn’t have even thought more of this if the commissioner hadn’t taken away his team and he had been publicly embarrassed and chastised by his players and other members of the basketball and black community. What has been continually missing is his caring about how his players and those all around this country who are minori-ties who were offended, betrayed and insulted by his comments and attitude. I am sure the question on their minds was: how many other whites feel this very same way?
You see, it isn’t that I’m naïve enough to think that this isn’t going on in the minds and hearts of a lot of folks or that now that it’s out in the open and we can deal with it…but it still hurt and it made me cry. And it will continue to hurt and anguish me until Donald and so many others in this country call it for what it is—‘racist’—and stop using the excuse that they were ‘taken out of context’ or that they are ‘confused’ by all the strong reactions. It’s time to take responsibility for all the countless subtle ways their attitudes and behaviors wound and diminish the integrity and dignity of those who are different from them.
It’s also time to stop blaming the “victims” for telling the truth, but rather to look at ourselves to see what part of Donald Sterling is also a part of ourselves and then to take responsibility for our attitudes, our behaviors and ultimately to change. Don’t do it because you’re afraid you’ll be sued or fired or because more folks of color will like you, but because it is the right and decent thing to do. As Mother Theresa once said, “Perhaps we have no peace, because we have forgotten that we belong to each other.”
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