1

STAND Up For Your Union

by Rev. Sonja Evans

10 of Cups Ministries

2

I am sure, if you are drawn to this work, that

you are among those who have met your Twin

Flame, and gone through the magnificent and

magical initial stages of Union, only to find that the

bubble has burst.

Perhaps they have shut down, or left you for

another relationship, or the intensity of the Ego-

based struggles have left you wondering what the

hell has just happened.

Metaphysically, the primary reason Twin Flames

do not manifest the fullness of the Glorified

Expression of the Union in 3D is because one or both

parties (usually both) are simply not an energetic

match to the frequencies required.

Just as magnets attract, they also repel, and

these energies are at play within the Twin Flame

relationship. And it all serves its purpose.

It was not that long ago when I was in the

“Occupy Separation” camp myself, when my

Beloved and I were not speaking. He was with

another and if I did happen to call him I was left

3

with dead air, or even worse, blocked on social

media or just flat out told to leave him alone.

What helped me to shift things powerfully and

quickly, I'm about to share with you!

As a starting point, know there are four distinct

types of Twin Flame Separation. You can find more

information about this on the Four Degrees of Twin

Flame Separation audio.

Understanding which one you are dealing with is a

powerful first step in knowing how to navigate

through the situation.

From my own experience, and in seeing what

has worked for my clients, there are five distinct

steps that you can take also during this period that

will assist you in remaining in vibrational alignment,

and open to the shift that your Sacred Partnership

most needs to go from Heart Break Hotel to

Restoration Resort.

While there is no magic wand to instantly fix

your relationship, since we are talking about two

4

individuals, one with free will, and often a

completely different perspective and personality,

these five steps can help to transform nights of

bawling your eyes out and eating endless chocolate,

to the empowerment that you will need, that green

light you send to the Universe, and to your Twin

energetically that says:

“Yes, I have said yes to love. I am ready to heal

this relationship on all levels so we can move into

the joy of Reunion.”

I call these 5 steps STAND, which is an acronym

for:

Surrender and Detach

Trust

Assist Your Twin Energetically

Now Transform YOU

Do What Brings You Joy

5

Applying these steps to your situation can help

put you back in the power seat, instead of allowing

your fears and illusions to run the show.

And in all honesty that in and of itself is the

most important key of all.

Let's Explore the STAND Steps and how you can

utilize them to shift out of heart break and

emotional distress when your Twin Flame Union is

pitched a curve ball and they have vanished into

thin air on you, or other challenges arise that seem

insurmountable.

6

1. Surrender and Detach

Surrender is not the same as giving up.

It is a power place where you realize that you

have done all that you can do, and now you are

leaving it in the hands of the Divine.

What we tend to do instead of surrender is

continue what we have been conditioned to believe is

going to heal a broken relationship: continue calling

and texting, or racking our brains trying to figure

out what went wrong and how to fix it.

Surrender is a powerful, yet challenging space to

occupy, because it requires us to shift our perspective

to realize that nothing is wrong, and there is

nothing to fix.

Everything is unfolding exactly as it should.

The problem comes when we try to rush Divine

Timing.

It is sort of like cooking our favorite meal,

7

putting all of the ingredients into the oven, then

pulling it out every 10 minutes to see if it’s finished.

We want microwave TV Dinner, rather than the

symphony of flavor that comes from a slow cooker!!

Separation is often very necessary for the

ultimate success of the Twin Flame Union, because

you and/or your Twin Flame need to move into a

space at some point in your relationship where your

paths diverge, so that you can learn and grow in

ways that you are not able to with one another.

Not only that, but we must always remember

that the ultimate goal for these Unions is not “being

together”, but to come to a place of complete

Unconditional Love.

When we keep our eyes on the true goal, and not

the physical proximity of our Twin Flame (which is

an illusion, as we are always connected energetically,

regardless of what is actually happening),

understanding that the Divine is for us and for our

Unions, it becomes easier to let go and let God/dess.

8

It is about enjoying the journey, rather than

obsessing over the destination.

Can you imagine going on a road trip and never

stopping to enjoy the beauty and scenery around

you, just obsessing about getting where you're going?

Surrendering requires that we release the need

to control everything, which comes from fear.

And as we know, fear will actually shut down

the flow of love, and is quite counterproductive.

I have found in my coaching that most Twin

Flames in separation, myself included, found their

Divine Counterpart returning to them once they

reached a place of barely wanting and expecting it.

It's called neutrality and it is simply a space of

keeping one hand on your hopes and dreams, while

keeping one hand open. Wanting, yet not wanting.

Caring, yet not caring. It is a balanced energy that

sends out no opposing repelling force.

When we are truly able to do this, The Divine

9

often works the miraculous in our situation, and the

open hand is filled with the true desire of our heart,

which is often our Twin Flame in a much wiser,

more heart centered space.

Or, in other words, the food in the oven is

cooked to perfection!!

10

2. Trust

Trust is the ingredient that fuels Step One

(surrender).

We must embody trust, which is a by-product

of faith, and faith teaches us that we will see it

when we believe it.

We must trust in the Divine Plan for this

relationship, so that even if our Twin Flame uses

their free will to choose another reality, that we can

still manifest joyful relationships that fulfill us in

every way.

We must trust that everything is working out

for our and our Twin Flame's Highest Possible Good.

We must trust in the Infinite Power of Love to

transform all things and bring them into their

Highest Alignment.

It is this one that we tend to have the greatest

struggle, since we are programmed, basically as soon

as we get here on the planet, to use our logical

11

minds: If we do not see it, then it cannot be so.

This is the primary reason why, when our

Union has shifted into the void, the first thing the

Lower Mind does is fill that void up with all of the

reasons it cannot and will not be so.

We doubt that this is our Beloved. We doubt

our sanity. We doubt that this situation will ever be

more than the roller coaster that it has been since

its inception.

Doubt is nothing more than a subdivision of

fear, and it becomes fodder for our insecurities and

belief systems that we are not secure in Divine Love,

that beautiful things can and in fact do happen to

us, and that we are worthy of receiving them, and

the truth of it is, Twin Flame Separation serves to

assist us in healing these beliefs, because these are

the very programs that are creating and

perpetuating the separation to begin with!

We can tell what we believe by what is

showing up in our lives, and especially the Twin

Flame Relationship, as they are our most powerful

12

mirrors of what we are truly resonating with.

So if we can shift into trust, and stop trying

to use the logical mind to figure out how to navigate

a metaphysical relationship, we help to crack open a

door to the miraculous.

13

3. Assist Your Twin Energetically

We sometimes fall into error of believing that

our Partners are perfect people who can somehow

meet all of our needs.

The truth of it is, in any relationship, it

consists of two people with their own baggage,

childhood wounds, insecurities, and dragons to

defeat and overcome.

When our Sacred Partner says our does

something to offend, hurt, or devastate us, we must

remember that they are doing the very best that

they can with the level of understanding and

wisdom that they have at any given time.

We must remember that they too, are in the

process of healing and processing their own lessons

from this and other lifetimes.

Assisting our Twin Flame energetically simply

means that instead of projecting our anger and hurt

and frustration upon them because of what was said

and done, we instead hold space for them of

14

Unconditional Love, praying for them to move

through their own hurt and pain, calling in the

Divine and angelic realm to assist them in whatever

illusions that they most struggle with, as we are all

works in progress doing the very best we can.

It requires us to approach our Union and our

Beloved with the mindset, “What can I give? How

can I serve?”

If your Twin Flame is angry, addicted to drugs

or sex, depressed, or fearful, it reveals a beautiful

soul who has forgotten who he/she is, and needs

Divine Intervention and help to assist them in

clearing the very beliefs that are co-creating the

separation on their end, if and when they are ready

to open up to that.

Every Twin Flame Union is a Trinity. You,

Your Beloved, and the I AM that I AM.

Calling in the “third party” and asking for the

miraculous, asking to help your Twin heal from

whatever has shut him down, connecting to his/her

Higher Self, and calling in the angels is one of the

15

most powerful things we can do for our Beloved,

particularly.

After all Yeshua said, “Ask and ye shall

receive!”

He did not put any limitations on what to ask

for!

16

4. Now Transform YOU!

One of the biggest errors we fall into is

projecting blame onto our Beloved for everything

that is wrong in the Union.

“He doesn't respond to my texts.”

“She is so shut down to love.”

“We're no longer speaking because he__________”

There is a reason why I call these errors, and

it is because everything that happens in our Unions

reflects back to us some disowned or ignored parts

of ourselves.

If they are ignoring you, are you ignoring some

aspect of yourself?

If they seem shut down to love, are you sure

that you are fully open to receiving the love you

claim you want?

If they seem angry and full of rage, is there a

17

place within you that has suppressed anger and

rage, or believes that it is normal to be treated this

way?

The answers to these questions reveal aspects

of our own energy and psyche that is up for

transformation and release.

Remember, the Twin Flame Union serves to

assist us in seeing where we are not operating from

a place of Pure Unconditional Love, and where we

have identified with our programming to define who

we are and what love is.

The difficulties always serve to reveal to us

where we are missing the mark, not them, so that

we can transform those beliefs, as everything that

shows up in our virtual reality shows us what we

truly believe, not what we think we believe.

So if you claim you want this beautiful and

magical love story, and your Twin Flame will not

even speak to you, you do have to ask yourself why

this is showing up.

18

The answers are the starting point for your

own transformation.

Once you heal your blocks to Love, a wonderful

thing happens 100% of the time.

Your Twin Flame will shift and return to you,

meeting you where you now are, or they will leave

your life and be replaced with someone even better

(in which case, it may not have been your Twin

Flame to begin with).

Transforming yourself through working with a

trusted energy healer, your relationship with the

Divine, therapy, journaling, Spirituality, or whatever

method most resonates for you is crucial to shift

your reality through the shifting of your beliefs.

19

5. Do What Brings You Joy

As previously stated, I have found in my

coaching that one of the hugest reasons your Twin

Flame is ignoring you, is because there are places

where you are ignoring your own life.

Many of us use our Twin Flame as a kind of

escapism, where we focus all of our energy on them

and the relationship, and in the meantime, we

neglect our dreams and visions for our lives.

Your Twin will not respond to this. Ever.

They are not the source of your happiness and

joy.

YOU are!!

I find that God/Source/Universe will often

“move” your Beloved out of the way so that you can

balance out your life, and not fall into co-dependent

and otherwise unhealthy patterns of belief in

needing the other party to somehow make your life

complete or joyful.

20

In fact, on the spiritual path, we receive that

which is joyful, by already being joyful, as like

frequency attracts like.

Needy, desperate energy will also attract like,

in the form of it's opposite polarity; repelling energy

that pushes away because it is an illusion that we

“need” it.

Embracing what brings us joy, be it a creative

hobby, good friends and support, being in nature,

building our dreams, taking good care of ourselves,

puts us in the frequency of joy, and when we hold

that energetic space, we attract what is joyful

naturally.

Reunion happened for me, not when I was

desperately plotting and scheming how to get my

Beloved to answer my e-mails, and putting out

effort in 3D, but when I started going out to lunch

with good girlfriends, getting into my dancing

again, working on my professional goals, and inner

life.

21

The magic in this is in doing so, it helps us to

move into the first key naturally, with little to no

effort on our part.

Doing so, sends a signal to the Universe that

you are saying “Yes!” to you, and energetically

creates the climate most conducive to joy and

miracles.

In Closing

The STAND keys are what has helped so many

of my clients move back into the space of clarity

and receptivity, and they are what “saved me”

when I was going through separation gloom.

In fact, applying them and some other critical

truths, helped me to move back into Union in a very

short period of time.

I hold space for you as well that applying the

keys will help you as well to shift your perspective of

what is truly going on in times of separation so that

you can experience true and lasting transformation

of your most AMAZING LOVE STORY!