Spyin’ NSA

Keith Alexander1, Daniel J. Bernstein2,4, Timo Kasper3,Tanja Lange4, and Peter Schwabe5 ?

1 National Security Agency9800 Savage Road, Fort Meade, MD 20755, USA

(retired, now available for consulting: http://bit.ly/1vMIWhY)2 Department of Computer Science

University of Illinois at Chicago, Chicago, IL 60607–7053, USAdjb@cr.yp.to

3 Horst Görtz Institute for IT-Security, Ruhr-University Bochum, Universitätsstraße 150 44780 Bochum,Germany

4 Department of Mathematics and Computer ScienceTechnische Universiteit Eindhoven, P.O. Box 513, 5600 MB Eindhoven, The Netherlands

tanja@hyperelliptic.org5 Digital Security Group

Radboud University Nijmegen, Mailbox 47, P.O. Box 9010, 6500 GL Nijmegen, The Netherlandspeter@cryptojedi.org

Abstract. Sing to the melody of [1].

1 Introduction

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2 Lyrics

As everybody isGonline,

across the USCA,

Everybody isGspied on,

by the NSCA.

We know they’re scannin’ throughFFacebook,

and Skype and GmailCtoo,

and Verizon andGYahoo,

F

Spyin’ NSCA.

? Permanent ID of this document: be0b42347e66990bd7df72256017c274. Date: August 23, 2013

GCHQ inGEngland,

(Inside outside USA),

Canada’s CSCE,

(Inside outside USA),

Someone in NewGZealand,

(Inside outside USA),

Australia’s DSCD,

(Inside outside USA),

Sharing data withFDeutschland,

(Inside outside USA),

Exploiting zero-Cdays,

(Inside outside),

Everybody isGspyin’,

F

with the NSCA

They’re tracking yourGmovements,

and your religiousCviews,

Your politicalGparty,

and your source ofCnews,

But they don’t listen toFcontent,

That’s what theyCsay,

Unless you’re ofGinterest,

F

to the USCA.

They put the content inGBluffdale,

on a giganticCdisk,

and run a bigGprogram,

to see if you’re aCrisk

It’s time for aFdrone strike,

in Californ-i-aC,

to wipe out someGcritics,

F

of the NSCA.

Folsom Street inGFrisco

(Inside outside USA)

Fort Meade, MCD

(Inside outside USA)

and in BadGAibling

(Inside outside USA)

with the BNCD

(Inside outside USA)

All over LaFJolla

(Inside outside USA)

Princeton IDCA

(Inside outside)

Everybody isGspyin’

F

for the NSCA

[Instrumental]

Using full-disk enGcryption

Email with PGCP

Elliptic curves in yourGbrowser

for forward secreCcy

Hardware tokens forFcrypto

Using bitcoins toCpay

Everybody useGcrypto!

F

Screw the NSCA!

Everybody useGcrypto!

F

Screw the NSCA!

Everybody useGcrypto!

F

Screw the NSCA!

3 Acknowledgement

We would like to thank Roberto Avanzi (keyboard), Joppe Bos, Jeremy Cooper, CarlEllison, Barış Ege, Elif Bilge Kavun, Kristin Lauter, Michael Naehrig (guitar), ChristofPaar, Tom Roeder, Christine Swart, and Ralf Zimmermann.

References

1. Brian Wilson and Chuck Berry. Surfin’ U.S.A. In Surfin’ U.S.A. Capitol and Western Studios, California,1963. 1