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Assalamualaikum and a very good morning Ladies and Gentlemen, I
would like to introduce myself.
My name is... I am student, at the Open
University and I belong to Faculty of Business & Management. Now
let me talk about my interests. First of all, I like listening to classical
music and I listen to music almost every evening. I also like polics.
I grew up in a small village located in the western part of
Malaysia. My village is famous for its tradional games of Tibau.
Before I conclude my self-introducon, let me tell you about my
personality. I am a very friendly person, so Im very easy to talk to. I
hope to make many friends at this university.
Ladies and gentlemen,
In her book The Shyness Soluon: Easy Instrucon for Overcoming
Shyness and Social Anxiety, Catherine Gillet listed a survey consist of
30 quesons for the readers to personally rate their own degree of
shyness, or shyness quoent as she puts it. The method is simple
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enough , but throughout the book, readers might nd out that
shyness is a special problem that requires special way to treat it.
Which lead to my topic of the day ladies and gentlemen. Overcoming
Shyness.
What is dident? Dr. M.Vanaja, Ms.N.Sneha Latha and Dr.
Digurmar Bhaskar Rao wrote in their book Student Shyness
dident or most commonly known as shyness as a feeling of
discomfort or inhibion in social or interpersonal situaons that
keeps you from pursuing your goals, either academic or personal.
Bashfulness results in extreme self-focus and anxiety, oen
preoccupaon with ones thought, feelings or physical reacons.
The degree to which shyness can create problems for people
varies widely, from mild social awkwardness to debilitang social
phobia. However, the most common is situaonal shyness.
Situaonal shyness refers to the phenomenon of becoming
fearful or inhibited in certain situaons.
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1)VISUALIZATIONThe rst step is visualizaon. There are opportunies for
interpersonal relaonships everywhere you look and you can nd
many ways to help other shy people. You will discover that the best
way to pull yourself out of the trap of shyness is to help someone else
with the same problem. Helping others will help you too.
What would be the appropriate acons you should take? Picture
yourself saying and doing all the right things, interacng and feeling
comfortable about it. Visualize yourself shaking hands with the
stranger at the party and introducing yourself. Someone asks what
you do for a living and you answer briey, succinctly, then turn the
queson back to them. Most people love to talk about themselves;
you just have to give them chance to open up. Now imagine how it
would go if you were no longer fearful about interacng with others.
If you can see yourself doing it comfortably, feeling good about it, you
can accomplish it. With the right visualizaon and preparaon, you
can handle what would have been an anxiety-provoking scenario
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2)PRACTICE SOCIAL SKILLSAer visualizaon, the second for overcoming shyness is
pung the theorecal approach in the rst step into pracce.
Praccing social skills into pracce is a key to unlock the shyness gate
that holds these people back. Another piece of advice to help you
ght your shyness towards other people: read a book about
improving social skills. Some of these books may be outdated and
refer to a lifestyle that has long since become obsolete, but there are
some modern ones contain a quanty of useful advice on what
atudes to adopt and how to behave in the company of others.
These books, they provide clear answers to quesons many personal
quesons people oen ask themselves rhetorically since they cant
answer them, but they also dont dare ask others, for fear of
appearing ignorant or nave
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3)MAKE IT HABIT TO TALK TO EVERYONEThe third step is to make it a habit to talk to everyone. Since
condence is needed to be able to talk to everyone, mid people
need to learn to converse with people to build that condence.
Everyone has to communicate every day in their lives and all the me.
Theres no way to avoid it forever. No maer what walk of life they
nd themselves in. Talking to other people is a necessity.
Shy people can try a step-by-step guide; start small by just saying
assalamualaikum or good morning to their family, friends or
neighbours every day for instance. When they have started feeling
comfortable with that, they can start talking with everyone within
their community -to men, women, young, and old -even if its just to
say hello. Many people wont take the iniave to get know to
another person, which means a shy person has the chance to
introduce him or herself to them. It will not be easy, but to ght
shyness, that kind of acon is necessary. They will nd that the
majority of people whom they start a conversaon with are actually
friendly
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4)DESENSITIZATIONThe fourth step is desensizaon. Desensizaon is a way of
reducing or perhaps even eliminang a persons negave reacon
to given circumstance or scenario. This has been used to treat a
great many phobias and is being used to helps shy individuals
learn to handle whatever social gathering they fear and try to
avoid. The idea is to bring the shy person gradually into contact
with the outside world, in a safe, comfortable non-threatening
way. In systemac desensizaon, a therapist guides the shy
person step-by-step, from simple tasks that have cause him fear
and anxiety to larger gathering. Simply put, by giving him the
tools and strategies to handle the situaons and then exposing
him gradually to the same situaons hes been avoiding so
rigorously, the shy person learns to handle even unfamiliar
situaons. Any fear or phobia is actually based on the persons
fear of losing control. The therapist guides the shy person and
show him how to control the situaons he fears the most.
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5)START A REFLECTIVE JOURNALThe nal step on how to overcome shyness has to do with
changing self-imposed standards. Start a reecve journal is the
way to do so because it serves as a reminder of how much
progress have a person made in his or her recovery to outgrow
shyness. But the main purpose of a reecve journal is to
examine how and why their past experiences have led them up to
the point where they are being suocated by shyness. When
people hear the term "journal," they begin to feel defeated even
before they begin. They feel as if wring in a journal is a chore
instead of a journey looking back into one's past and working on
the present for a beer future.
CONCLUSIONSOvercoming shyness is the way to happiness and acceptance,
harmony and success. By using the ve steps; visualizaon,
pracce social skills, make it a habit to speak to everyone,
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desensizaon and start a reecve journal, outgrowing
didence should be less dicult