The Blessing Challenge

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So just what is the Blessing anyway?

Every time a “blessing” was given in God’s word – whether it was a

parent blessing a child; a grandparent blessing a grandchild; a spouse choosing to bless their life-partner; friends blessing each other; or even Jesus blessing children who were brought to Him – there were 5 things that were a part of that blessing.

We’re going to share these five “elements” in abbreviated form. Please

feel free to go deeper by going to scripture yourself and reading about the Blessing (I’d suggest Genesis 27 – the story of two twins: Jacob who received the Blessing and Esau who misses it and his terrible cry of emotional pain). And at www.TheBlessing.com you’ll find several books that unpack this concept in much more detail. For example, there’s the newly revised and updated book, The Blessing, that’s a “how to” manual on giving, living and even dealing with having missed the Blessing yourself. Or, you can order Dr. Trent’s first fiction book (written with Annette Smith) called, A Place Called Blessing. It teaches the principles of the Blessing through the story of a young man named Josh who grew up thinking he’d never be worthy of being loved or “blessed” – and yet in meeting one family, he discovers where hurting ends and love begins. You can even find a children’s book, called, “I’d Choose You!” which is a beautifully illustrated way of teaching your children the 5 elements of the Blessing.

Those books are there to help you give, live and understand the

Blessing. But here’s a summary of these 5 simple, but incredibly powerful actions that were always a part of giving the Blessing to a loved one…

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The Five Elements of the Blessing

1) Appropriate Meaningful Touch – Whether it was with the laying on of hands, a hug, a pat on the shoulders, or placing a hand on a young child’s head or holding them in your arms, appropriate meaningful touch is a way to say “I love you!” even before a word is spoken. All through scripture, you see “touch” being important in blessing others. 2) Spoken (or Written) Words – Way, way, too many people I’ve counseled over the years have told me, “I know my parents loved me… but I never actually heard the words.” Then sadly, they never got the blessing from their parents. Along with appropriate meaningful touch, the Blessing ALWAYS involved WORDS, either spoken or written…But what kind of words? 3) Attach High Value - The third element of the Blessing involves our “attaching” our spoken (or written) words of “high value” to a loved one’s life – a “tangible” action that helps them know they have great value in your eyes and in God’s eyes well. Often these words highlight a character trait or a God-given bent. For example, you might say or write something like, “You have such a sensitive heart when people around you are hurting. When your little sister falls or hurts herself, you always step forward to get her some help or to help her feel better.” In short, it’s a child hearing that, in your opinion, he or she has traits, skills, abilities, and makes choices that are of high worth and value to you and the Lord. 4) Picturing a Special Future – In Scripture, the Blessing was also a time for a parent (grandparent or loved one) to assure a person of God’s blessing on their future, and their own prayer for that person’s future. In Jeremiah 29:11, God says of His children, “For I know the plans that I have for you,’ declares the LORD, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope.” When a Blessing was given in Scripture, it helped a child (or loved one) know that God saw positive things in their life and future – and their parents or loved ones did as well. Kids tend to be literalists when it comes to hearing about their future from their parents. (Which is also why negative words, like, “You’re so stupid. Don’t take algebra – that’s for the smart kids!” can be so

The Blessing Challenge

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destructive– in fact we call that a “curse” or subtracting from a child.

Children carry the words we speak over them into their future - positive or negative. So linking a character trait they have today, with a prayer for God to use that trait in the future, are key ways of giving the Blessing to a child. (i.e., “You’re do such a great job of taking things apart to see how things work. I wouldn’t be surprised if God used that ability some day to help solve problems or to help build things that help lots of people.”

5) Genuine Commitment – While the choice to “Bless” was an intentional act that was often linked with a special situation or occasion, (marriage, birth, death, moving away, etc.), the 5 elements of the Blessing are things that we can choose to add to a loved ones life each day!

In other words, we can choose to “hug” our child before they head out the door (appropriate meaningful touch), or write them a note to put in their lunch telling them we’re praying for them (spoken message and attaching high value). In short, while the Blessing may have been linked to a specific event in Scripture, like a marriage, or when a grown child was leaving home, or near the end of a parent’s life, it wasn’t just a one-time event. It was a way of saying, “I use this event to bless you – but I choose from now on to live out these words of affirmation, encouragement and love in your life.” In other words, while we’re asking you to “take the Blessing Challenge” by creating a special, intentional, purposeful event for your child, genuine commitment is looking for ways to live out these 5 elements of the blessing with your child.

Again, that’s a very quick look at these 5 very simple, but incredibly powerful “elements” that go into giving the Blessing. PLEASE feel free to get more specifics if you need to by reading The Blessing, available on our website (and beginning in the Spring of 2012 we’ll have a new DVD series with Focus on the Family that is a wonderful way for a group, or a family to learn about the Blessing and the Blessing Challenge). Now that you’re up to speed on what the Blessing is in Scripture – let’s see how this ties into STEP ONE of the BLESSING CHALLENGE!

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