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Skinnie Magazine Issue 102

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MUSIC • SPORTS • LIFE

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Page 1: Skinnie Magazine Issue 102

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Editor’s Letter . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . p.006 The Skinnie / Hearsay . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . p.008Accoutrements . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . p.014Destination . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . p.016Action Sports Roundup . . . . . . . . . . . . . . p.029

For The Record . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . p.036Under The Radar . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . p.038Flicks / Keepin It Reel . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . p.040Video . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . p.042Audio / Locals Only . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . p.044

Video Games / Bits and Bytes . . . . . . . . p.046Skinnie Scene . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . p.057Happy Endings . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . p.072

EVERY ISSUE

p.010 RETURn OF A HOLLywOOD LEGEnD Ian Shepp Is Restoring The Historic Key Club

p.012 IF mEn ARE DOGS, wHAT ARE wOmEn? why Aren’t These Famous women Just As Bad?

p.016 GET yOUR BOARDInG PASS Saint Tropez Is The Destination Of Absolute Luxury

p.020 mORE THAn GOD GIVEn Ryan Sheckler Is Talented, But Don’t Knock The Hustle

p.024 x GAmES 16 PREVIEw 5 interviews, 5 Personalities, One Goal

p.030 wHAT’S THE DRESS CODE? Chromeo Is Opting For Business Casual

p.034 SOLO mISSIOn Bloc Party’s Kele Okereke Goes His Own way

p.036 BRIT POP ExPLOSIOn Dan Black Is Lighting Up Dance Floors

p.049 TRIPLE THREAT Taryn manning Can Do It All

p.052 DOn’T CHAnGE THAT STATIOn KROQ’s Stryker Gives you Reason not To.

FEATURES]___________________________

CONTENTS| jUlY 2010

p.049 p.05� p.0�4

p.0�0

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JUly2010JISSUE#10210184 Sixth St. Suite A

Rancho Cucamonga, Ca. 91730Ph. 909-476-0270 Fax 909-476-5931

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PUBLISHERSChief exeCutive OffiCer Jimmy Clinton

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EDITORIALeditOr-in-Chief Ramon Gonzales

COntributing Writers Jasen T. Davis, Alex mendoza, Eric Bonholtzer, Lexi Amparan, Katie Evans, Kristie Bertucci, Patrick Douglas, Lacy

Ottenson, Elysia mcmahan, melissa Fouler

For editorial submissions, email [email protected]

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ART & DESIGNArt direCtOr Robb Sackett

COntributing stAff Erik Faiivae, natalie Salim

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PHOTOGRAPHYCOntributing PhOtOgrAPhers Alan Rivera, Sean myers, Joanna miriam,

Dave Gatson, Karen Curley, Harmony Gerber, Edison Graff, Timothy Sheppard, Erik Faiivae, mark Sacro, michael Vincent,

Christian Sosa, Jeff Farsai

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SALES & MARkETINGsAles/MArketing direCtOr Jason Zahler

Advertising Liza Dalida, Ta’ mara Aarin, TJ Avila, Aaron AmayaAndy Alexander, Leigh Ann St. Cyr, Julius Lopez, Antoinette Belton

For all sales inquiries email [email protected]

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ADMINISTRATIvEPrOMOtiOn direCtOr Aaron Amaya

WebMAster House Of DesignsOnline editOr Amara Omeregie

COntributing stAff Lesley marin, Adrian Aranda, Angela JugonRaquel Lopez, Cynthia De Los Santos, maritza GuerreroRyan mercer, Alshan Barnett, Janessa Gray, Elliott Bruce

Katie Evans, Fiorella Bergandi, Elyse morton, Antoinette Belton, and Ryan mercer

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FASHIONfAshiOn direCtOr michelle ngo

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SUBSCRIBERS If the post office alerts us that your magazine is

undeliverable, we have no further obligation unless we receive a corrected address within two years.

LEGAL DISCLAIMERThe content in this magazine is for entertainment and intended for mature audiences only. Advertisers are responsible for their ads placed in the magazine. Skinnie magazine is not responsible for any actions taken by their readers. we may occasionally use images placed in public domain. Sometimes, it is not possible to identify and/or contact the copyright holder, if you claim ownership of something we’ve published, we will gladly make a proper acknowledgement. Skinnie magazine does not share opinions and/ or views stated by the writers and or photographers. Some of the content published may be of a mature nature; we do not, in any way, condone underage drinking or any other illegal activity. All submissions become property of Skinnie magazine, be it text, photos, art, etc.

Skinnie Entertainment MagazineAll Rights Reserved. 2010

Cover Photo by: Jeff Farsai

Right off of Pico Blvd in the middle of West L.A.

there is a small bungalow styled diner called The

Apple Pan. I met Stryker there at his recommendation

to snap some photos and maybe have a little lunch.

Surrounded by a huge mall, bank buildings, and retail

chains, this tiny, counter-only diner has endured since

just after WW II. As we pulled up a seat Stryker says, “I

have been coming here since I was a kid. I have never

known anyone different to work here. It has always

been the same people for years.” A tuna salad sandwich,

some fries, and some conversation later, Stryker and

I do an awkward West LA meets North Long Beach

hood handshake and part ways. As I drive away I think

a couple of things –“That sandwich was fucking great.”

And two, “that little diner has been there unchanged

63 years!”

Everything around that tiny diner had been modernized.

Construction, development, but The Apple Pan was

untouched. When you do something right, it never goes

out of style. And the fact remains, you can’t do it right,

for that long, if it isn’t something you sincerely love.

This July issue we managed to find people and stories

that highlight just that – getting it right, because they

well…get it.

Funny how all that came from a tuna sandwich on

wheat on a paper plate.

Keep it Hood,

Ramon Gonzales

ACCOMPLICES & ALIbISJanessa Gray intern________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________Too blessed to be stressed, Janessa Gray has been attending shows for the past

10 years at many of Orange County and Los Angeles venues. Having a passion for

tasting many of the delicious concoctions around the bars of Orange County, Gray

never misses an opportunity to party. Aspiring to be the Queen of PR, Gray always

finds time to shoot the shit with her bestie and grub on bomb carnitas tortas.

LesLey Marin intern ________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________The youngest in the office, Lesley thinks she can roll with the big dogs, until she

realizes she stuck as home while everyone else parties. As she waits for that 21st

birthday, Lesley spends countless hours wasting her money at Forever 21. But don’t

get this girl twisted, with her Chi-town attitude and Arizona State cred, this intern

hopes to one day be broadcasting for the entertainment world.

Maritza Guerrero intern ________________________________________________________ _________________________________________________________Maritza has a soft spot for booty bass, junk food and anything gold plated. She

can be found rollin’ with the homies, boozing and schmoozing, and overdosing on

Mexican candy. Maritza’s favorite past time and talent is being able to nap anytime

and anywhere. With her skills in communication, aka running her mouth on anything

and everything, she hopes to acquire a career in the PR field.

You Gotta Love What You Do

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HEARSAY

Although the clamor of celebrity-

riddled fundraisers has long been

silenced, the destruction from the devastating

earthquake that destroyed Haiti some 5

months ago has ensured that the poorest

country in the Western Hemisphere will

experience generational desolation. In what

has since become a small dose of good news

for Haiti, The World Bank has decided to

wipe out the 36-million dollar debt owed

to the International Development Agency.

Contributions from Belgium, Canada, Finland,

France, Germany, Ireland, Italy, Japan, The

Netherlands, Norway, Spain, Sweden, and

Switzerland ensured the debt was wiped clean.

McDonald’s stirred up some controversy last

month when their French offices launched

a commercial that featured a homosexual

character. In the commercial, a young man is

having lunch with his dad. He is speaking on

his cell phone and telling someone, “I miss

you.” We find out later that the young man

is talking to another young man and dear

old dad doesn’t know his son is gay. The ad

is part of the “Come As You Are” campaign.

The video has already received millions of

views virally. Anyone else think this is way to

heavy for a place that serves something called

McNuggets?<

Rattle Me BonesIf you wince at Dr.

90210 removing a little

bone and cartilage in a routine

rhinoplasty then you would

absolutely gag about the 19

surgeries a man has had to

extract 42 bones from his

body over the course of

his life. But this man is not

removing ribs to be more svelte,

or whittling away at perceived

imperfections, he’s got 50 more bones in his body than the

average person. He suffers from MHE, multiple hereditary

exostoses, and that means he has been growing extra

bones all over his body since the age of 5.

Never sign a contract in Mexico. A frightened matador ran like hell away from a

bull in the ring after a few minutes of

cape taunting and was greeted with a

pair of handcuffs. He was arrested for

breach of contract for doing what

any normal person wearing sparkly

pants and hot pink socks while

toting a scarlet red cape in the

presence of an angry bull would

do. Rough.

What’s up, Teach? A 16 year old girl in Germany is

being sued for bullying her

teacher. And what

was the offense?

She convinced a

schoolmate to draw

a rabbit on the

blackboard to scare

their teacher who flips

out at the sight of the cute

little nose wigglers. The girl

could be fined as much as $7400 for giving all the kids

something to laugh at. How sad.

One man crime spree in Dayton, Ohio fueled by Mad Dog 20/20! It seems as though the frosty malt beverage is the drink

of choice for one Ohioan who began his day of crime at

5:30am by trying to crack open an ATM with

a rock. He then shoplifted a

few packages of meat and

aforementioned alcoholic

delight and stole a CO2

tank from a neighborhood

restaurant. Sounds like

someone misses high school.

Is it gay to fantasize about dippin’ your nuggets into another man’s sauce?

This is obviously why Haiti can’t have nice things.

words by Alexis Amparan & Katie Evans

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ForePLay

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INFORMER

RESTORING A HOLLYwOOD LANDMARkIan Shepp Unlocks The New key Clubwords by Alex mendoza

DUI checkpoint in Virginia yields 82 citations, 3 drunk

drivers and a really pissed off goat. Some complete moron was cited for

transporting a live goat in her trunk.

The poor beast was found when police

heard it kicking and writhing in the

woman’s trunk. No doubt she saw the Rob

& Big where the mini-horse ‘did work’ in

their car. But honestly, that’s just a case of

baaaaaaaad judgement.

A 2 a.m., post baptism party …In New Jersey ended in the dispatching of two men

to the Lord above. This charming, circle-of-life, tale is

no work of fiction. Two men, who were celebrating

the baptism of a friend’s child, were stabbed to death

after arguing with another group of people at a Mexican

restaurant. Wow, New Jersey. What’s in the holy water?

Dude, that’s not your car! While it’s too late to stop

the Pennsylvania man who

broke the window of the

wrong Jeep Cherokee,

it’s not too late to laugh

about why he did it. When

Chase Fitzgerald couldn’t get

into his car because his key

‘wasn’t working’ he took a

rock to the vehicle window to

get inside. The astute 24 year old

now owes $2500 in damages to the

real owner of the damaged Jeep. But,

at least he won’t have to re-key his

own Cherokee.

Stand Your Ground Unless you are in the direct path of a 26 ton truck driven

by your drunken husband and you’ve just exchanged some

fightin’ words. A 58 year old woman from Newcastle was

run over and killed by her husband

who was trying to ram down the gate

of their property to leave. When he

called for emergency assistance

he was quoted as

saying, “I thought she

would f***ing move

out of the

way, but she

didn’t”. Well,

you know

what they

say about

assumptions.

HEARSAYCONTINUED...

Every fable has its origin and The Key

Club is no stranger to legend. The venue

was home to a bevy of powerhouse musical

acts/artists that attracted a variety of denizens

– local and foreign - to the Sunset Strip. At the

latter end of 2009 The Key Club closed its

doors, feeling the effects of a declining economy.

It was an unexpected blow to the Sunset Strip

given its status in the social conscience, as well

as its place in music history.

Enter Ian Shepp – a man who regards

Hollywood as more than tourism, but home. It

comes as no surprise that he is resurrecting the

legendary club with grand ambitions to rekindle

the flame that made The Key Club amongst the

top venues in the nation.

Q: Most people tend to stick with something

a little more “stable” in respects to career

choices. Keeping this in mind, what sparked the

interest for you to pursue this path?

I have always loved seeing people have a good

time. In today’s current economic crisis, I

would say entertainment is one of the more

stable career choices. Everyone needs an outlet,

to get away from their daily routine.

Q: What are some of your views of the club

scene currently? What do you feel works

and what are some aspects of it that you find

disconcerting?

Nowadays, everything must be recreated

regularly. In the past, a club could last for a

decade. Now it’s turned into a game of keeping

up with the joneses. What I feel works is

the avenue that I have decided to take, LIVE

MUSIC!

Q: What are some of the biggest changes you’ve

seen from when you first started to where you

are now in respects to the way the industry has

changed to cater to customers?

I think the “Velvet Rope” approach is the

death of countless venues. I am aware that the

customers are the reason we are open. This is

why at the Key Club we allow all people who

want to have a good time and blow off some

steam to attend. Within that format, we have

still been able to create programs that also allow

high profile clientele to be accommodated.

Q: It would seem most of the week you have a

weekly resident act stopping by; from acts like

Steel Panther and the Spazmatics, or even DJ

Quik stopping by once a month. How do you

keep up?

I have a great staff and tremendous support from

my wife - everyone around me is committed to

making the club a success. We’re driven by our

determination to deliver the type of acts our

audiences want to see and hear, and ultimately

we’re just focused on keeping The Key Club

alive and thriving and continuing the legacy of

the Sunset Strip.

Q: What are you hoping people take away from

this new version of The Key Club?

We want to continue to be a part of history.

The live music scene has changed, but when

done right, it’s still one of the best quality

experiences you can get for a night out.<

Read the full interview online at

Skinniemagazine.com

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FoREplAy

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INFORMER

GrossNo one wants to see a 47 year

old woman breast feeding an

18 month old child. And the

German police officer who

did see this really awful event

was also compelled by the law

to fine her. Not that public

breast feeding is illegal here

or there (and why not?!) but

it certainly poses a safety hazard

when done while commanding a vehicle.

Yeah, apparently the little milk breath couldn’t WAIT to get

home and demanded the boob.

First it was “DJ Pauly D”…Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino of the infamous

Jersey Shore on MTV is now releasing his own

rap, adequately titled “The Situation Rap”. In

addition, he’s starting his own fragrance line and

endorsing Vitamin Water. So, now you

can smell like a tool while drinking

liquid advertised by a tool while

listening to music by a tool.

Maybe even while doing

crunches in a tanning bed

so you can pretty much be

a tool altogether.

You’re Gonna Love My NutsShamWow informercial guru Vince Shlomi has made

another infomercial… for Eminem’s latest album, Recovery.

The rapper enlisted the advertising help of Shlomi,

who made a spinoff of his Slap Chop and ShamWow

commercials, suggesting uses for the album such as

coasters, or as a tomato-smashing device. Thrown in was

the bonus ShamPon, free with purchase. Any guesses to

what that does?

Debbie Swords Los Angeles: 8A porn actor, Stephen Clancy Hill (“Steve Driver”), was

suspected of killing a fellow

porn star and had a warrant

for his arrest for that and

for attacking other actors

on one of the film sets. He

fled from the police and was

cornered to a cliff, where

SWAT officers attempted to

coerce him from the edge.

Armed with a SWORD from

the porn set, he let himself

fall from the hill to his death

instead of getting arrested.

Seriously though, what

was this sword doing in a

porn?<

HEARSAYCONTINUED...

wHOA, MAN! wOMEN CHEAT TOO!men Are Jerks, women Are Just Passionate Apparently

I don’t know that there will ever be

another published piece in history

that uses a quote from Tracy Morgan to kick

things off, but during an interview on the

Howard Stern Radio Show, Mr. Morgan said

something I found painfully insightful. “Women

love money, men love freedom…I never seen

a man fuck someone for a fur coat.” In the

wake of private exploits turning into media

spectacles for guys like Tiger Woods and

Jesse James, the fallout would suggest Morgan

is right, but women, like men, sometimes

cheat just because their crotches tell them

to. Yet there seems to be some inequality.

Men continue to be vilified and the women

involved become media darlings. I’m NOT

justifying adultery, not defending philandering,

but consider this. An affair typically consists of

TWO willing participants. For some of these

celebrities, hiding the fact they are married

is not an option. It could be easily asserted

that women like the attention whores Tiger

slipped up with, and the piece of work known

as “Bombshell” Magee were actively seeking to

cash in. But what about the women who have

committed adultery and not face even half the

scrutiny we have seen as of late for the male

contemporaries. Need some reminders?

Madonna – now, this is all still alleged, but

while still married to Guy Ritchie, the Queen

of Pop was going back to her “Bedtime

Stories” days and spending late nights with

New York Yankee Alex Rodriguez.

Elizabeth Taylor – revered as one of

Hollywood’s most treasured personalities,

Taylor was busted not once, but TWICE.

While married to Michael Wilding in 1956,

Taylor started creeping with film producer

Michael Todd. In ’63, Taylor was married to

Eddie Fisher but humping Richard Burton.

Jennifer Lopez – not only did “Jenny from

the Block” step out on her then husband

Cris Judd, she decided to taint the world of

pop culture with the saga of “Bennifer.” She

continues to plague society with shitty music

and movies.

Angelina Jolie –easily one of Hollywood’s

most overrated, overpaid actresses, Jolie

admitted to snaking Brad Pitt from Jennifer

Aniston. No one questions her when its time

to adopt yet another kid.

Tori Spelling – is married to Dean

McDermott now, but allegedly began seeing

him while married to another dude named

Charlie Shanian. What resulted??? A successful

reality TV show career.

Brittney Spears – now even though we

got the epic Justin Timberlake track “Cry Me

A River” out of it, Spears allegedly stepped

out on JT with a choreographer named Wade

Robson. Brittney’s overnight husband Jason

Alexander also admitted to sampling some

Brittney while she was still with Timberlake.

Each of these women continue to maintain

healthy, lucrative careers. Would it be the

same if they were men? Let’s hear what you

have to say – Sound off!<

[email protected]

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FoREplAy

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21

4

3

5

BE ThE Playa’ ON ThE PlaygrOUNDor at Least Look Like you Have Good taste.

TOYS

aCCoutreMents

ADIDAS 2010 world Cup L.E.

ApparelThe global event that is

the World Cup provides

the perfect opportunity

for the diverse melting pot

that is the United States

to show off some ethnic

pride and rep their team

with some style. Adidas

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a timeless collection of

track and soccer jackets,

team jerseys, hoodies,

tees, and designs that

ensure you don’t have to

play soccer to look good

sporting it.

vARIOUSshop-adidas.com

Apple 4G iPhone

Let’s be honest, if you

don’t have an iPhone,

you are considered the

dated one in the bunch.

More than keeping up

with the Joneses, the 4G

incarnation in the series

boasts some impressive

improvements. With two

cameras mounted on this

thing, one in front and one

in back, video conference

calling is now possible

from a mobile phone. Plus

Improved battery life,

HD picture quality, and

network upgrades.

$199-299apple.com

Ghostbusters Proton Pack

BackpackAt the risk of looking like

irredeemable dork and

dashing any and every

possible chance of seeing

the opposite sex naked

within close proximity,

you have to admit, this bad

boy is pretty rad. No real

special features to it, it’s a

backpack like most others,

plenty of pockets and

straps, but Ghostbuster

legit. And at only 40 bones,

it does make for one great

40-dollar laugh every time

you pack.

$40incrediblethings.com

Aerial7 Hello kitty

HeadphonesThere are a couple

of crucial things to

remember, looking like

the tough guy is just out.

Second, a good pair of

headphones has become

just as important as a cell

phone or iPod. Aerial7

teamed up with Hello

Kitty to cover both

bases with their Urban

Outfitters’ specialty likely

to fly off store shelves.

Compatible with all

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$80aerial7.com

Lamb Of God “Hourglass”

Super Deluxe SetSuperfans be advised,

this might be the most

comprehensive box set ever

devised by them marketing

gurus tucked away in record

label offices. Celebrating

their 15th anniversary, metal

success story Lamb of God

has come up with just 300

hundred of the coffin cased

sets individually numbered

sets that include a Mark

Morton Signature Series

Jackson Dominion D2

Guitar!

$999lamb-of-god.com

2 43 51

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TOYS

SKINNIEMAGAZINE.COM • �5

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FrenCH rivierathe City of Gold

words by Elysia McMahan

Welcome to the playground intended for

the world’s population of millionaires and

those auspicious enough to spoil themselves in

an exquisite vacation. Saint-Tropez (Sant Tropetz,

“St. Trop”) is a settlement in southeastern France

that definitely presents itself as more than just a

cozy little seaside town. Positioned on the divine

cobalt waters of the medieval Bay of Saint-Tro-

pez, this is someplace that hypnotizes you without

first asking your permission. Strolling tourists and

unhurried posh cars parade alongside patio cafés

and freely roaming yachts floating throughout the

harbor that silhouette themselves during some of

the most stunning mid-evening sunsets. It contin-

ues to be a remedy for the American and European

elite, as well as those seeking out a slight morsel of

Provincial authenticity and elegant lavender fields.

Brigitte Bardot once adorned its avenues and bou-

levards, which are now lined with trademark stores

and socialites. Since the 1920’s Saint-Tropez has

been quite the phenomenon. Apart from the top-

drawer nightlife and superior shopping, there are

also forty hush-hush beaches distributed along this

persuading locality that impart and support seduc-

tive moods. And hands down…it is one of the most

well appointed cities in the South of France. A true

retreat from the ordinary.

Everything is FamousFrom as far back as the 1860’s, writers and artists

DESTINATION

PassPort

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have fallen under the magical charm of this little

port town setting and Saint-Tropez turned into “St.

Trop”. In the past, one could collide with the likes

of Francoise Sagan, Jacques Prévert, and Picasso.

Small rounded paving stone streets escort visitors

and residents alike through alleys sheltering some

the most elegant galleries, restaurants, hotels and

shops. The town’s name actually stems from that of

an early, renowned martyr, Saint Torpes. Legend has

it that Torpes was beheaded at Pisa during Nero’s

supremacy and that his cadaver was set in a decayed

boat with a dog and a rooster (both symbols of

malevolence during that time). His remains settled

somewhere near the current location of the town.

The diverse atmosphere and untailored ambiance

unifies classily with the impressive backdrops situat-

ed everywhere you turn. With the influx of Brigitte

Bardot in the movie “And God Created Woman”

during the 1960’s, this fable-like location became

stable in its establishment. Beside the international

jetsetters and well-dressed Parisians that garnish

this vacation hot spot, movie stars and local stars

assemble at Place des Lices and drink Pastis beneath

the flat trees in between games of Boules (similar

to bocce ball).

Besides the Water SportsNear the beginning of the morning, during first light,

you can find unsullied fruits, flowers, vegetables and

fresh fish up for sale at the Place aux Herbes and

Place des Lices. Usual Provengal markets take place

each Tuesday and Saturday morning down the street

from the well-known brasseries of Le Gorille and

Sénéquier. Festive religious/militant demonstrations

called Les Bravades des Espagnols commences in

May and carries on until June 15th. This is a re-

membrance and celebration of the victory of the

Tropezian mercenaries over the Spanish.

There are also opportunities to hike and cycle, but

the most celebrated past time seems to purely be

people watching. People are inclined to want to see

or be seen throughout this tourist Mecca. One of

the things to love about the French Riviera is that

beauty doesn’t only belong to the young. In Saint

Tropez, women of all ages – into their 60s, 70s and

80s still wear the latest fashions and look damn

good doing it! Guests wish to park themselves at

the open-air cafés, eager to be seen or, in fact, to see

someone who is more than just TMZ worthy. One

of the most famous sidewalk cafes in Saint Tropez is

The Senequier.

It appears that competition among the rich is prev-

alent, especially among those with massive yachts.

They line their vessels up in the harbor challenging

to perceive which is the most beautiful, best kept or

has the sexiest crew on board. Do you have what it

takes? It is quite a sight to observe. Only beautiful

people hop on board. Well, depending on what your

idea of what “beautiful” may be.

Travelers can also visit the nautical museum of the

Citadel, with its town walls and gates. It sits on a hill

overlooking the city, and is one of the best places

to take photos and get a bird’s eye view of the en-

tire landscape. Ramatuelle is the picturesque hill

village and grave to actor Gérard Philipe. If you’re

interested in seeing some works of art from cre-

ators of which have worked and lived in St Tropez

then you’ll have to make your way out to Musée

de l’Annonciade. A few of the remarkable artists

whose compositions grace this museum are: Signac,

Derain, van Dongen, Rouault, Braque, Bonnard, Ma-

tisse and Maillol.

The House of Butterflies, created by Dany Lartigue,

son of the famous photographer Jacques-Henri Lar-

tigue, is an amazing museum housing over 20,000

butterflies. This collection includes several now-ex-

tinct or protected species, and others that are rari-

ties or abnormalities. Also, there’s a tremendously

important collection of exotic species from the

Solomon Islands and Amazonia on display that have

been called “The most beautiful butterflies in the

world.”

St. Tropez’s genuine temperament can truly be

cherished in the off months when there are fewer

crowds and you can seize the moment to regard

the inviting alleys and avenues. You’ll love the nar-

row, winding streets.

If You Have Ever WantedTo Go Topless…Hedonistic behav-

ior is the way to go

upon the various

shorelines. The most

outrageous and hot-

test Riviera beaches

of Saint-Tropez are

situated along Pam-

pelonne. La Voile

Rouge, is undoubt-

edly the victor when

it comes to the ex-

hibition of beach go-

ers. Parents are strongly cautioned to leave their

children on the playground equipment at Plage des

Jumeaux when treating themselves to such a delight.

The infamously decadent Plage de Tahiti resides in

the north end of the 3 ½ mile Pampelonne. These

slivers of golden sand, like particles in an hourglass,

are favored by exhibitionists, whom brazenly wear

nothing or next to nothing. So, if you have ever had

the desire to go topless, well, this is the place to do

it! Bouillabaisse Beach, Caneliers Beach and Salins

Beach also outline the peninsula. You’ll need a bike,

car or scooter in order to succeed in reaching the

beach from town and once you arrive, you can ex-

pect parking to go for about $4.95 a day. The myriad

of restaurants, concessions, and cafés adjacent to

these salient sun-soaked vicinities are adequate

enough to hold anyone over. Yes, even if you feel you

haven’t gotten your fill of ass and boobies by the

time the sun cascades below the horizon.

Subsequent to MidnightAn American from Miami maintains one of the

foremost venues (Nikki Beach) you’re likely to

find in the south of France if you’re looking for

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that uninhibited, chaotic, and unruly experience.

Also flourishing are Plage de Pampelonne and Le

Club. Along with cash-only clubs and spring break

style amusement, late night dancing and pre-dawn

carousing requests can be fulfilled at Les Caves

du Roy, located in Hôtel Byblos. Soon after mak-

ing it inside, the yawning furnishings may surprise

you, particularly since admission is free. But if you

sincerely want to come in contact with the finest

dance club in town, La Bodega de Papagayo starts

getting diligent after midnight, with its ambience of

elevated energy. Ensembles perform nightly within

these two rooms; one being a bustling bar and the

other a lively dance floor. Look forward to a hot,

sweaty night, because amid the gang of guests and

the music – Papagayo’s can get a little rowdy. Oc-

tave Café offers an altogether different vibe. And

although you are just as likely to see some sort of

celebrity within its castle-like walls, the mood, with

its jazz oriented background music, is far more laid

back than most clubs.

Capture the EssenceDespite its glitzy reputation, St Tropez still retains

something of an old world character. Known for

its role in the liberation of southern France dur-

ing World War II, this international tourist hub’s

storybook allure has played a considerable part in

the notoriety of the entire Côte d’ Azur. Extraor-

dinary views of the Mediterranean Sea, neighboring

mountain ranges and the Citadel can all be taken in

from just about anywhere. Being relatively near to

the remainder of France and northern Italy, Saint-

Tropez makes for a pleasant day trip, that is, if it

doesn’t lure you in and keep you there. One must

sample some of the dishes that are particularly

famous in the region, such as bouillabaisse with a

glass of burgundy or bourdeaux from one of the

many well-known French vineyards. The village also

boasts various types of accommodation such as

luxury hotels, magnificent villas and character ho-

tels. It is recommended that you rent a villa rather

than booking a hotel because even if at first glance

villas appear expensive, they are usually capable of

housing quite a few people. The summer months

turn this city into quite the zoo. But if you plan on

coming during this time, it’s worth fighting the wall-

to-wall people and the traffic. Eternal perspectives

of gorgeousness and the standard of living of this

resort town will absolutely win in its conquest for

your attention and for votre cœur (your heart).

Considering this seaside village is famous more for

its multitude of shops and restaurants than its his-

torical significance, there are plenty of possibilities

for buying gifts that shout such phrases as “I love

Saint-Tropez!” There’s no doubt about it. Anyone

who feels destined to unearth a place of unrivaled

beauty and take part in self-indulgence should find

themselves here at some point. Hollywood comes

to Saint-Tropez, but all you have to do is believe

that you deserve the best this life has to offer in

order to find yourself here. You get more of what-

ever you focus on.

Vis! Ris! Aime!<

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pASSpoRT

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FuLL ContaCt

WhEN NaTUral TalENT,MEETs all OUT hUsTlE Plan B Phenom Ryan Sheckler Loves Going To Work

words by: Patrick Douglas photos by: Jeff Farsai

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WhEN NaTUral TalENT,MEETs all OUT hUsTlE Plan B Phenom Ryan Sheckler Loves Going To Work

words by: Patrick Douglas photos by: Jeff Farsai

Ryan Sheckler has become a refreshing

reminder that it is possible to mix humility

and fame in professional sports and not come up

with a concoction reeking of selfishness and a lust

for personal glory. Ask him about the rejuvenation

of professional skateboarding and his part of the

turnaround and he’ll tell you he’s just another guy

having fun on a board. Despite excelling at the sport

since his age was still measured in single-digits, having

dominated worldwide competition before turning

twenty and starring on a reality show about his

adventures, Sheckler doesn’t think he deserves too

much credit for what he’s done for the image of

skateboarding.

“I don’t consider myself a key part of the rejuvenation

(of skating),” says Sheckler. “I think maybe we brought

kids into it or maybe kids realized that they could

skate and they could do something outside of their

normal basketball, baseball, football world. When you

look at skateboarding as a whole, it’s always thrived.

Skateboarders have always stuck together. I think if

anything, me and P-Rod and Rob (Dyrdek) are just

a few names who have done a lot for skateboarding.

We kind of just look at it as we’re just working to

keep skateboarding cool and keep it awesome. I

don’t wanna be credited for having tried to make

skateboarding better. I’m just living my life, doing what

God wants me to do – skating my skateboard.”

Besides, skateboarding has always been about

individualism and not so much about wearing

someone’s jersey or cheering for a specific team.

According to Sheckler, it’s that fact that makes it

easy to see why one person cannot be credited

with sparking the popularity of the sport as a

whole. For the most part, kids who prefer skating to

tossing around a football are inspired by the actual

skateboard more than the people who have mastered

it. “The kids have a mind of their own and if they pick

up a skateboard, no matter who’s doing it, they’re

gonna do whatever they wanna do,” he said. “The

youth is amazing. I love doing everything I can to help

kids and kind of mentor our kids into anything they

wanna do whether it’s school or skateboarding or

riding bikes, it doesn’t really matter. Anything a kid

wants to do, they should be able to do it. That’s what

our future is.”

Speaking of kids, it wasn’t too long ago that Sheckler

could be described as still being one. This is a kid

who was doing ollies at age four, before even hitting

kindergarten. By the time he turned seven, he was

working a ramp in his backyard. He really turned

heads in the industry when he was a mere 13-years-

old, winning numerous gold medals and first place

accolades on tour, including a legendary first X-

Games where he was the only skater that year to

hit every trick. To say “prodigy” would be obvious

and somewhat rudimentary. Let’s just say he was a

once-in-a-generation wunderkind. He’s so fresh that

he lists 25-year-old Paul Rodriguez Jr. (another one

who’s been doing it since he was in diapers) as the

skater he admired most when he was growing up.

“As far as the sport goes ... I always looked up to Paul

because he was close to my age and he was so skilled

and so advanced that I wanted to be like P-Rod. I

(also) looked up to Danny Way and Tony Hawk and

I really looked up to Rodney Mullen and I still do. I

don’t get to see him that much. He’s the one dude I

still get a little nervous around when I’m around him.

It’s pretty awesome.”

The older generation has taken note of what’s

going on in today’s sport. Tony Alva helped lay the

foundation for skating as we know it and has referred

to Sheckler as being “super-versatile and a good

skateboarder.” Those words don’t just bounce off

of the 20-year-old phenom unnoticed. He takes it

to heart when he hears something like that coming

from skating royalty. “I just got chills when (Alva) said

that. I recently saw Tony Alva at the airport and it was

just really cool because I had my back kind of turned

and I was going to the baggage claim and he saw me

first and was like ‘Ryan.’ I was like ‘Damn, what’s up

Tony? How you doing?’ and we just talked for a little

bit and it’s just so cool that the first generation of

skateboarding, the ones that made it possible for us

to do what we can do today and get paid and actually

live a great life from skateboarding, those dudes are

legends – absolute legends – and the fact that they

are still so involved in the way skateboarding goes,

they have a huge say in everything, it’s awesome to

even be recognized by those dudes.”

With the X-Games set to begin this month, Sheckler

is anxious to get out there and compete. Unlike other

sports where the goal is to take someone else out on

the way to victory, the men on top of the sport of

skateboarding are all about camaraderie and sharing

the experience. “It’s pretty awesome actually to be in

a contest of that nature with your Chris Cole’s and

your P-Rod’s and Muska, the guys that I looked up

to when I started skateboarding. I had a real early

opportunity to skate with all of these guys (so) when

I go out and I see these guys, I don’t look at them

as ‘Oh, these guys are the gnarliest competition,’

which they are, but the way that I’ve grown up with

them I’m like ‘Ah, cool, I’m at another contest with

my homies and we’re about to have some serious

fun.’” Even though it’s all about fun, Sheckler goes

into X-Games competition prepared and aiming to

come away with the gold, something he’s done twice

in previous X-Games. “I try and go into a contest

like a warrior, man. Like a complete soldier. I love

competing. Competing has always been one of the

most fun things for me to do and when I do compete,

I get into a different mode. It might seem like I’m a

little quiet, a little bit to myself, but that’s just me.

Focused and ready to attack.”

Because these types of contests aren’t focused around

individual tricks, as opposed to a series of them,

there’s really no need to reinvent the wheel when

it comes to X-Games. For Sheckler, it’s a matter of

keeping his mechanics smooth and his fundamentals

sharp. “These contests have changed from a best trick

format. It’s how many tricks you can land and how

consistent you can be doing your hardest tricks,” he

said. “Yeah, there’s tricks that I work on that I know

when my adrenaline level gets to a certain point that

I can just throw it down and I have no worries about

that. I keep it mellow. I do all my tricks. I try to do

every trick I know how to do when I go skate and

just keep everything polished up to be consistent and

be enjoyable to watch.”

Sheckler, who tore ligaments in his foot at last year’s

X-Games and needed to have screws inserted, says

that the hardest stunt he’s attempted is merely

avoiding broken bones with every flip of the board or

slide down a rail. “It’s still a stunt and it’s still hard to

not (break bones) and I’m just trying not to do that,”

he said “I don’t limit myself. I plan on learning as many

tricks as I can in the years I have left in skateboarding

and whatever I do with those tricks, that’s what it is. I

don’t have any plans to do anything crazy. I’m just kind

of living and just skating and doing my thing.”

Pro skaters are reaping the benefits of having a

slew of sponsors and outlets for clothing lines out

there, similar to what professional golfers have been

enjoying for years. Being one of the premiere partners

with Plan B, Sheckler is living the good life. “It’s great.

Seriously, it’s such a blessing to be a professional

skateboarder and to have ventures like that and to

have my own foundation and the Plan B thing,” he said.

“It’s crazy because I never expected all this. I never

asked for all this. I was just skating because it was fun

and that’s how I’m skating today just because it’s so

fun and so exciting to learn a new trick and skating

with your boys and homies (as they) land some tricks.

It’s a feeling that you can’t match. It’s hard to explain.

Having all these business ventures is great. I’m super

psyched and I wanna just keep it going.”

With so much already under his belt and yet not old

enough to buy beer, Sheckler still has an elusive goal

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FUllCoNTACT

set within his profession. “My plans have included

getting the Thrasher Skater of the Year, which

is pretty much the dopest award you can get in

skateboarding,” he said. “It means you put in the

most work on the streets. That’s been a goal for

awhile. Whether that happens this year, next year,

three years from now, it doesn’t really matter to me

just as long as in my career I can get Thrasher Skater

of the Year. That’s my main goal. Other than that, just

keep coming out to my great foundation events for

the kids and for the hurt athletes.”

As skating grows in popularity by the day, it’s

apparent that the allure of such an independent

sport is striking a chord with the youth who are

disenfranchised with team activities. “We’re taking

over, man,” Sheckler joked. “Skateboarders are

taking over.”<

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“I try and go into a contest like a warrior, man. Like a complete

soldier... Competing has always been

one of the most fun things for me

to do and when I do compete, I get into a different

mode...

...Focused and Ready To

Attack.” - Ryan Sheckler

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FUllCoNTACT

JOlENE vaN vUgTaNThONy NaPOlITaNWhat was your defining X Games moment thus far?

My moment was definitely being the first person

to do a double front flip.

Who do you see as being the biggest competition for you this year? The big vert dogs like McCann, Kagy, and Robinson

are always the biggest competition.

What does bringing home the Gold in X Games mean to you? I would be so stoked if I could bring a gold medal

home from X Games. It’s always been a dream of

mine and I want to make it come true.

X Games has been called the biggest platform for Action

Sports...do you agree? There has definitely been a fair share of crazy

never before done tricks preformed at X Games.

I think that it’s the biggest contest of the year and

all the riders know it. That’s why they all go crazy

when it’s their turn to ride.

What runs through your mind in those seconds before a run? Nothing really. I know that my time is coming

soon, so I take a deep breath and relax as much

as possible.

How do you plan to make the crowds and the judges remember you? I’m just gonna lay it down!

Who else are you stoked to

compete with/against? Pretty much everyone on the roll in. I think we all

enjoy each other’s company on that big roll in.

Do you have any regrets from previous years that you want to shake at this year’s games? Yeah this is my redemption year from last year. I’m

gonna stick the double fronty again and pop off a

good trick on the quarter pipe.

Being that you compete all year round, what about the X Games gets you especially hyped? Well, Mega ramp has become something that I

love to ride. X Games is the only place that I can

actually ride mega ramp. So I get pretty hyped to

just get on the ramp again.<www.twitter.com/anthonynapo

ANTHONY NAPOLITAN - BMXAs a trendsetter (with his tire grab to bar spin front flip and no-hander front flip variations), this 24-year-old made history during

the 2009 X-Games when he landed the first-ever double front flip during the Big Air Competition. Surveying other riders, such

as Jamie Bestwick, has assisted Napolitan in determining his own methods and approach. With the exception of spending most

of his time practicing at Woodward, some of his preferred jumps are found at veteran Cory Nastazio’s house or Lavin’s backyard.

More often than not he get his tricks down within the first couple of tries. He goes for it. Far from his hometown in Youngstown,

Ohio, this leading light in the BMX showground has been all around the world…with no plans on bringing his traveling to an end

anytime soon.

Let the GameS BeGinMeet Some Of The Faces Destined For X Games Glory

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JOlENE vaN vUgTWhat was your defining X Games moment thus far?

Being invited

Who do you see as being the biggest competition for you this year?Myself, last year I got in my own way, I do that a

lot with racing.

What does bringing home the Gold in X Games mean to you?For me being invited to be a part of the event is

a major deal, bringing home a metal would put

me over the moon and be a first for a Canadian

female racer.

X Games has been called the biggest platform for Action Sports...do you agree?

Yes, for sure. It’s huge for Women’s SX, It has such

great exposure and really puts the sport and the

women out there for the mainstream to see.

What runs through your mind in those seconds before the gate drops?I take deep breaths and try to stay calming, my

heart is usually racing and I want to puke... I’m

just focused on trying to get a good start and

get out in the front of the pack, with it being a

fairly short race there isn’t a lot of time to make

mistakes and make up for them later.

How do you plan to make the crowds remember you?Just go out there and give it my best, that’s all I

can do.

Who else are you stoked to

compete with/against?I haven’t raced against a lot of these girls in a

while so I’m just pumped to get out there in the

mix with them all, Ashley, Tarah, Jessica, Sherri they

are all great talents.

Do you have any regrets from previous years that you want to shake at this year’s games?Last year I was unable to compete in the race, I

broke my wrist training 3 weeks before the event.

Being that you compete all year round, what about the X Games gets you especially hyped?X Games is a very unique race for the women,

one of it’s kind and only 10 women are invited to

participate, it’s a pretty big honor.<www.jolenevanvugt.com

JOLENE VAN VUGT - SUPERCROSSLike an anchor - she’s grounded, but not held down

or held back from anything. Her immeasurable

accomplishments have pushed the envelope on

women’s action sports and by following her dream

racing dirt bikes, she has paved the way to success.

Having the chance to travel the world with Travis

Pastrana and the Nitro Circus crew has unlocked

scores of opportunities for the 28-year-old Canadian

Motocross National Champion. With such sponsors

as DC Shoe Company, Pro Circuit, Fox, Rockstar, and

Suzuki (just to name a few), she has maintained the

name she constructed for herself back in 2006. Aside

from being the first female to execute a back flip

over a 60 ft. ramp, she is also the holder of several

Guinness World Records and the co-star in various

motocross videos.

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FUllCoNTACT

DUaNE PETErs

What was your defining X Games moment thus far?

Just stoked to Ride with all these insanely Rad

Skaters

Who do you see as being the biggest competition for you this year?I’m Really Not Looking at it Like that, My competing

days are far and few between, I’m probably going

to be the oldest cat out there and just want to

make a good showing and skate the best I can. But

Christian hosoi,caballerro,and T-hawk if he is in are

going to be the ones to watch as far as masters go.

What does bringing home the Gold in X Games mean to you?Its Never Entered my mind.

X Games has been called the biggest platform for Action Sports...do you agree?If that’s what they say I’m sure it is.

What runs through your mind in those seconds before a run?What am I going to hit first ?

How do you plan to make the crowds and the judges remember you?Giving Them Blood.

Who else are you stoked to compete with/against?Salba,he’s Really the only other last one from my

Generation.

Do you have any regrets from previous years that you want to shake at this year’s games?I would like to get some more practice in this year,

I’ve been on with band in previous years, and just

getting home from sitting in the van a month and

strapping on your gear with not a lot of practice

and not on My A Game in the past was Rough.

Being that you compete all year round, what about the X Games gets you especially hyped?The fact that it is such a huge deal it brings up all

the adrenalin in all the skaters and the audience so

the levels are always pushed to max.<www.duanepeters.net

DUANE PETERS - SKATEConsidered one of the last remaining

ambassadors of old school skateboarding,

Peters is not only still competing, but

continues to carry the punk rock flag

the sport has become synonymous with.

Fronting U.S. Bombs, among the various

other punk projects (Gunfight) he provides

lyrical fuel for, Peters has never left his

bread and butter – the skateboard. An

innovator in the sport, Peters is credited

with inventing several moves including the

“Indy Air,” the “Sweeper,” the “Fakie Hang-

Up” aka the “Disaster,” and was the first

to skate the “Loop of Death.”

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lyN-z aDaMsWhat was your defining X Games moment thus far?

My first Gold in 2004 when I was 14

Who do you see as being the biggest competition for you this year?All the girls were killing it last year! Karen Jonz

has a ton of tricks and Gaby Ponce is going sooo

high!

What does bringing home the Gold in X Games mean to you?I have never repeated Gold and that would be so

awesome! but when it comes down to it for me its

about how well I skate not were I place.

X Games has been called the biggest platform for Action Sports...do you agree?

Yes and no... its invite so there is no knowing really

without qualifying events .

What runs through your mind in those seconds before a run?“Ok I got this... I can do this!” and then probably

some lines and run that im remembering to do

haha.

How do you plan to make the crowds and the judges remember you?I wanna skate my best and just up the bar for

woman’s vert skating .

Who else are you stoked to compete with/against?All the girls are rad! its cool to have women like

Cara Beth Burnside and Mimi Knoop who I look

up to, then the girls who are closer to my age like

Karen Jonz and Gaby Ponce, and who could forget

the groms with such bright futures like Allysha

Bergado and Lea Taylor in there... its an awesome

mix.

Do you have any regrets from previous years that you want to shake at this year’s games?There are some tricks im hoping to do this year

for sure!

Being that you compete all year round, what about the X Games gets you especially hyped?X games is the biggest event, its a mix of some

many different sports witch is really amazing to be

a part of, its pretty special to be able to hang with

the different athletes and cheer each other on in

our different sports.<www.lyn-zadams.com

LYN-Z ADAMS - SKATEA competitive surfer by the age of nine and notorious skater at thirteen,

Lyn-Z hasn’t just limited herself to one branch of the athletic world. With

such sponsors as Nixon, Volcom, DC Shoes, and Type-S Wheels, she has

used her talent to her advantage and engaged herself in every one of her

passions, including snowboarding during the winter season. She is the first

female to hit the nine story tall DC Mega Ramp and land successfully.

Anyone who can benefit from adversity is worth becoming a legend and

practicing alongside such intellects as Lasek and Hawk have certainly

molded her award-winning style and launched her into dominating female

skateboarding as a fierce competitor. Kick Flip Indy Grabs, Backside

Nollies, and Rocket to Fakie 360’s have showcased her remarkable runs.

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BrIaN DEEgaNWhat was your defining X Games

moment thus far?

My X Game defining moment would have to be

doing the very first 360 degree on a dirt bike and

landing it to win the gold.

Who do you see as being the biggest

competition for you this year?

I’m really looking forward to competing against

everyone, but my biggest competition will be

always be Travis Pastrana and Ken Block in rally

car.

What does bringing home the Gold in X

Games mean to you?

It means the sense of accomplishment,

accomplishing a goal that’s always there for me.

X Games has been called the biggest

platform for Action Sports...do you

agree?

Yes-I would say X Games is the biggest platform

for action sports-it’s been what’s helped build

the team and grow the Metal Mulisha. It’s been a

huge launching point for motocross and the Metal

Mulisha team.

What runs through your mind in those

seconds before a run?

I always am focusing on the tricks or the course-

running through the upcoming run in my head,

trying to visualize it and block out any other

distraction. I usually listen to music and get amped

up before going.

How do you plan to make the crowds

and the judges remember you?

Pumping up the crowd is something our team has

always been good at-we have a fun image and what

we say, the things we do-we do our own thing and

sometimes break rules.

Who else are you stoked to compete

with/against?

My teammate- Jeremy Twitch Stenberg, I train with

him everyday and am going to compete against

him in Speed and Style. I’m really just excited to

challenge everyone.

Do you have any regrets from previous

years that you want to shake at this

year’s games?

Last year-rally car, I should have won a medal. I

over-jumped the jump and crashed-it’s bugged me

for about a year, and I’m excited to come back and

try to win that event.

Being that you compete all year round,

what about the X Games gets you

especially hyped?

All the hard work that goes into that one weekend-

all of the preparation and having all the fans and

the crowd there that watch you-I wonder why I’m

the guy on the floor being watched, and it’s really

exciting and crazy to think about.<www.briandeegan.com

BRIAN DEEGAN - MOTOCROSS/RALLY CARSince winning the 125cc main back in 1997 and founding Metal

Mulisha, motocross icon Brian Deegan has won 10 X-Games medals

and founded the Rockstar/Metal Mulisha/Lucas Oil team. In spite of

frequent broken bones and near death experiences, his aspirations to

be a leader in Off Road Racing, just as in Freestyle Motocross, keep

him focused on implementing incredible prospects within the sport.

Don’t even begin to assume that this is just a leisurely pursuit for him

or a mere infatuation with peril; this is life. Through merging Metal

Mulisha’s persona and his skills, this business savvy outlaw has shaped

a flourishing profitable empire and generated plenty of extra change.

Deegan will be competing in rally, speed and style events during the

2010 X-Games.

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ACTION SPORTS ROUNDUPby Lacy Ottenson

Mike V Brings the Glory with New Skate Tour Pro-skater, musician, and all-around

badass Mike Vallely recently announced

plans to launch a 24-city skatepark

and entertainment tour, Glory

Bound Skatepark Tour, beginning July

18 in Mesa, AZ. Finalists from each

competition will be awarded with the

opportunity to skate with MIKE V later

in the day, grand prize winners will win

coveted sponsor prize packages, and

one national grand prize winner from

the tour will be flown into Los Angeles

along with a guest / guardian, for MIKE

V’s to-be-announced Skate Rock festival

which will take place in October, 2010.

Rookie MMA Fighter Flips the Shit Jarrod Wyatt, 26-

year-old a rookie

MMA fighter, has

just become the

ultimate poster

boy for the anti-drug campaign. Wyatt

has been charged with first-degree

murder in the grisly death of his spar-

ring partner and friend, Taylor Powell,

after the two of them drank psychedel-

ic mushroom tea. According to reports,

Wyatt became convinced that Powell,

21, was the devil and promptly took to

beating him to death. He then drilled an

18 inch hole into his chest, removed his

heart, tongue, and part of his face, and

then cooked some of the body parts up

in the oven because he wasn’t entirely

convinced the dude was dead yet. Let

that be a lesson to you kids.

Introducing the “Fly-nnstone Flip” by Flynn Novak Not a lot of people can claim being

able to pull off doing a back flip while

surfing. Even fewer have video proof of

them pulling it of. In fact, only one per-

son does. That person is Flynn Novak.

In a video running on ESPN’s action

sports section, aerial stunt master Flynn

Novak explains how it took him well

over 8 years to perfect the trick he

now dubs the Flynnstone Flip. The video

chronicles some of Novak’s attempts

at perfecting this move but shows two

clips toward the end of him actually

being able to do so. You have to see it

to believe it.<

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RECREATINGTHE DRESSCODEChromeo Opts for Business CasualWords by: M.M. Zonoozy Photos by: Tim Saccenti

The electrofunk duo of Dave 1 and P-Thug

is often portrayed as a sort of paradox.

The combination of the suit wearing Jew and the

tall-T Arab channeling the 1980’s and singing funky

love songs is just, in some ways, funny.

In fact, the synth-funk masterminds better known

as Chromeo weren’t always taken seriously.

But now, on the verge of the release of their

third studio effort, Business Casual, it seems that

Chromeo is here to stay. This summer, they’ll be

touring North America in support of their new

album, and have lined up disco outfit Holy Ghost!

to keep them company. If you’re fortunate enough

to catch the show, you’ll find that blur of retro

and new-age, funk and electro, ying and yang that

makes Chromeo so original, so honest, and so

brilliant.

I got the opportunity to catch up with one half

of the Chromeozone, Dave 1, to chat about the

album and the evolution of the band:

MM: I heard you just put the finishing touches on

the new album?

Dave 1: Last night.

MM: Yeah? I’m excited to hear it! What can we

expect?

D1: I would say that, overall, this album has got

more of a nighttime kind of vibe. It’s a little bit

more sophisticated musically, and I think that

we really refined our brand of electrofunk. It’s

strange, I find that this album is both more

modern and more retro than the last one.

MM: How so?

D1: You know, Fancy Footwork was really a big 80’s

pop song and record. Obviously, we always

have our 80’s influences, but I feel like on this

new one, we draw from a sort of late 70’s

yacht rock

kind of thing

on some songs.

And other songs,

it’s straight up in

your face, really fierce

songs – almost the way

we had on our first album but

with a bigger sound. The

song writing is a little

bit more involved,

and I try to sing a

little bit more, and

there’s more ballads – a

ballad in French.

The next single is kind of ballad-

y, it’s a really smooth track. For me,

“Don’t Turn the Lights On,” is very Shade

influenced. Because “Night by Night” had

those rock guitars, so I wanted to balance it

out and come out with a statement of third

album artistic maturity.

MM: I feel like my age group nowadays learns a lot

about 80’s music from samples used by DJ’s,

and Daft Punk, and Chromeo. As you said,

Fancy Footwork was a lot of throwback stuff,

and we dig it. I think that’s the reason for the

success of some of these wonky pop acts, like

a La Roux, that are just 80’s bands stuck in the

2000’s.

D1: Yeah, and it’s got to have a modern side to it.

MM: Yeah, of course. And more of an electro tinge

to it. How much did groups like Daft Punk

inspire your musical direction?

D1: Hugely. To me, Discovery is one of my all time

favorite albums. On this record, there are a

lot of late 70’s influences too. And if you look

back, Daft Punk had already channeled that on

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Discovery with tracks like “Something About Us” and

“Digital Love,” so it was all there. I mean, Daft Punk

Discovery really laid the blueprint for everything that

we’re doing. We just try to make it our own and take

it to another direction. Everyone is doing so much

disco right now that I didn’t want to feed into that

too much, I just wanted something that focused more

on song writing.

MM: Sure. As I said, my age group found a lot of 80’s music

through you guys and newer groups. Was that the

same sort of thing for you growing up with you and

P [Thug]? Were you learning about funk through hip-

hop samples?

D1: Yup, exactly. Exactly. How old are you?

MM: 23

D1: Okay, I’m almost 10 years older than you. When I was

23, the greatest culture was the hip-hop

stuff. I was a hip-hop producer and I

would just collect records and dig

for records, and that’s exactly

how I learned.

MM: When I

read about you it

does seem like

you started

as this rap

pu r i s t .

How did that evolve into the snythy more electronic

style of Chromeo?

D1: I was a very, very sort of traditional hip-hop producer,

and in 1999-2000, the sound of hip-hop beats started

changing. You had DMX beats – I didn’t know how

to make those. In 1999-2000, the biggest hip-hop

records were Ja Rule and Nelly. Now, looking back,

I see what’s dope about those records, even though

they were very commercial. But back then, I just

thought those records were corny.

MM: Understandable.

D1: Yeah, it wasn’t up my alley any more and I was just

getting less and less stimulated with what hip-hop

was beginning to sound like. And at the same time

we just spontaneously got this record deal offered

to us to do something that wasn’t hip-hop. In about

a two-year span, that became my main thing. Since I

was a kid, I was writing songs in my head anyways. So,

this just gave me an opportunity to make something

tangible out of it and pay homage to the music I grew

up listening to.

MM: For sure. Your brother is A-Trak, who is also Kanye’s

DJ, and he’s really making a name for himself as one

of the greatest remixers, scratchers, producers -

whatever out right now. Now that he’s built quite a

following for himself and the Fool’s Gold camp, do

you see a lot of overlap between Chromeo fans and

A-Trak fans?

D1: More than ever. But I think that now there’s a lot

of A-Trak fans that don’t even know us. But finally,

my brother and I are going to start doing shows

together. We can start doing Chromeo and A-Trak

shows and have people get a kick out of that. I

hope so anyways.

MM: I think people would love it. I’ve

seen both you guys, and I just saw A-Trak

recently and I think the crowd is just

getting bigger and bigger for him. I know

you guys work together for production, but

do you guys ever just call each other up to get

opinions on a track and be like, ‘How does

this sound?’

D1: All the time. I speak to my brother

ten times a day.

MM: Does he ever just tell you

something sucks?

D1: Yeah! Yeah. I mean, I don’t

remember the last time…But he’ll be

critical and be like, ‘Eh, this doesn’t

really work.’ And I’ll do the same

thing for him.

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MM: What’s the song-writing process like for

Chromeo? Are you writing the lyrics?

D1: It really changes from song to song. The only

thing that stays the same is that I’m the one

doing the singing and P is more in charge of

all the synths and everything in the studio.

MM: Where’d you guys get the infatuation with

love lyrics? You’re a hip-hop guy, I want to

hear Dave 1 do Lil Wayne. I want to hear Lil

Dave 1!

D1: Nah, man! Nah. I’m a skinny white kid with

a suit on. Unless you are living that lifestyle,

you shouldn’t be rapping. To me, I write

something that’s true to me.

MM: You guys are funny and have that light-hearted

feel to your music and your performances,

and definitely the videos.

D1: Yes! Yes. There’s humor in everything. There’s

humor in Lil Wayne, there’s humor in Hall

& Oats, there’s humor in Michael Jackson.

Michael Jackson has a song about turning

into a werewolf. You don’t think that’s funny?

That’s fucking hysterical. There’s no way he

was serious. I mean, nobody can just be like,

‘Alright, I’m going to turn into a werewolf on

this song.’ It’s funny! It’s ridiculous.

MM: Do you think when you guys first started out,

people were hesitant to take you seriously?

D1: Yeah! I don’t think, I know! That was a fact.

It was tough for a bit, but whatever, we just

stuck it out, and I guess people came around

a little bit more. I couldn’t care less right now

if people think we’re joking. As long as they

like the music, I really don’t care.

MM:You just mentioned Hall & Oates, and I’m

a frequent visitor of LiveFromDarylsHouse.

com. And although those videos are pretty

poorly edited, I love the idea. I remember

seeing you guys on there and digging it.

Now, I heard you guys just performed at

Bonnaroo with Daryl Oates live. How did

that go over?

D1: It was amazing; one of the greatest nights of

my life.

MM: How was it singing next to him? Did you get

nervous?

D1: Yeah! But, I guess, you know, you just got to

stick it out and do the best you can.

You can check out Chromeo’s first single, “Night

by Night,” off their new album, Business Casual,

at Mountain Dew Green Label Sound. The album

itself will drop August 17th, and you can see

Chromeo on their 23-stop North America tour

throughout the summer.<

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The story normally plays out as such: lead

singer of a well-known band announces

work on a solo record, media devours said news,

dispels it to the masses and once it reaches fans

the speculation and break-up hysteria ensues. It

is one of those clichés you hoped would vanish

with time, and you think about Jonsi, Eddie Vedder

and Thom Yorke and how their pursuit of a solo

career apparently marked the death of the bands

they fronted. The solo material is released and

the band remains intact; speculative bloggers

and fans look like a bunch of dolts. Rinse and

repeat, which thankfully has not been a process

Kele Okereke has dealt with; at least not in the

same fevor-inspired manner as the Pearl Jam,

Radiohead or Sigur Ros brigade.

But that does not discount, or diminish, Kele’s

effect in the music industry. The works he crafted

with the breakout Indie Rock group, Bloc Party,

have offered a global and highly-dedicated fanbase

– propelling Kele as one of the most recognized

vocalists in recent memory. Like any like minded

artist, though, there is the curiosity to explore

one’s creative boundaries. Kele did just that,

finding time to tinker around in a rehearsal space

after five years of extensive touring. Whereas

most people find some form of solace or

respite away from the touring scene, Kele’s soul

searching was tethered to his solo expeditions

with instruments he never used before – like

drum machines – or tackling genres that fell

outside the Bloc Party sphere.

While Bloc Party’s last album, Intimacy, flirted with

electronics set alongside the frantic and urgent

nature of Bloc Party’s trademark sound, Kele’s

fondness of electronica courses deep through

the veins of his first solo album, The Boxer.

“The whole idea is we fight all our lives. Whether

it’s with ourselves, or others, but we’re always

getting into some type of fight that defines who

we are,” Kele explains. “For me this album was

like that – fighting to find something different, as

well as the whole idea that every fight isn’t going

to be a victory. You’re bound to lose sometime,

but its how you manage to pick yourself up that

defines who you are as person.”

Bloc Party balanced the careful act of firing on

all emotional cylinders, while providing a core

sound that channeled a raw, invigorating energy.

Kele’s solo work takes this a step further,

incorporating live acoustic elements paired

with Gary Numan-esque electronica rhythms

that will definitely appeal to fans of all ages and

genres. Slow builders such as New Rules present

a calm, tranquil atmosphere with terse pizzicato

figures with warm electronic voices that manifest

from absolute silence, while Other Side merges

tribal percussion elements, fuzzy-synth patches

and Kele’s translucent vocals into an intriguing

musical package.

“I’m hoping what people get from this album is

the sense of warmth. The same feeling that I got

when I was making these songs and this album,”

Kele describes. “I didn’t just want to make a

record that was entirely electronic. I wanted

to make something people could see and feel as

well. So my hope is they get a little sense of that

when they’re listening.”

Both elements of light and dark are present in

the record, especially in the penultimate track of

the album, All the Things I Could Never Say. Amidst

oscillating electronic rhythms, a distant organ

timbre and other 8-bit sensibilities, Kele tackles

with lost love through self-reflective lyrics that

resonate to a startling degree. And then you think

back to Everything You Wanted, with Kele singing

through the brooding, pulsating bass rhythms and

sparse piano figures. Without notice the song

unexpectedly bursts into an unexpected flurry of

Latin percussion fused with electronica, and Kele

claiming that he “could have given everything you

wanted/everything you needed” – never realizing

he’s doing just that. Giving people a record that

represents the fight we struggle with everyday:

the fight to find ourselves. <

sOlO MIssIONBloc Party’s Kele Okereke Does His Own Thing

words by: Alex Mendoza photo by: Sarah Piantadosi

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FOR THE RECORDby Melissa Fouler &n Richard Cold

M.I.A.’s Got BeefAfter publishing an in-depth look

at M.I.A. and the development

of her new album, / \ / \ / \

Y / \, New York Times staff

writer Lynn Hirschberg found

herself at the mercy of M.I.A.’s

less than jubilant take on

her story. With quotes from

collaborators like Diplo and

“Born Free” director Romain

Gavras that were less than

complimentary, the story wasn’t

all roses. M.I.A. responded by

tweeting Hirschberg’s personal

cell phone number. Hirschberg

called M.I.A.’s actions, “infuriating

and not surprising.”

A Punk Band, Really? Billy Joel Armstrong and Green

Day have officially gone from

bay area punks to punk rock’s

most respectable commercial

opportunists. Green Day is joins

the Beatles as the only other band

to receive their very own version

of the hugely successful Rock Band

video game. Released this last

month, the game has been flying off

store shelves.

Watch out for those rowdy Hanson fans. A near riot ensued when the

has-been boy band held a free

concert for whatever reason they

would have to hold a concert.

The hard-core fans showed up in

mindless droves, more than 10,000

more than organizers expected.

The concert was canceled after

the crowd got out of control, not

kidding. In all fairness, the

crowd was more than

likely there to see

Drake.

EarninG a FrESh Pair OF KiCKSDan Black’s Experimentation Deserves Real Praisewords by: Kristie Bertucci

The name Dan Black might not be too familiar

to you now, but by the end of this year, you’ll be

hearing lots about the latest Brit import to hit American

music industry shores. Impacting the American music scene

in spring 2008 with his insanely crazy/cool “HYPNTZ,” a

cut sampling Rihanna’s drums from that ditty “Umbrella”

and a tribute of sorts to Notorious B.I.G.’s “Hypnotize,”

which has now become the single “Symphonies” from his

debut album ((Un)). (It was actually released in 2009 in the

UK, but recently came out in the U.S this year.)

“I did it amongst a bunch of experiments where I took

disparate songs I wanted to take inspiration from and

sewed them together and sang other songs on top, mainly

to see if I could make them work,” Black explains. “I just

planned them for my own private education really, but

some had something cool about them so I put them on

my MySpace.”

Like all artists, the road to success never really happens

overnight, and Black’s own musical journey was no

different. “I have many skeletons hidden in my closet,” he

says when asked about the road to his newfound success.

“Before being solo I did many, many different projects. I

was basically a bit of a musical whore.” For Black, being

a “musical whore” actually turned out to be beneficial,

which is what led him to start experimenting with various

genres of music, something that cumulated into his recent

release.

“Sitting on my own in a stone cellar in Paris” is how he

describes what went into making his debut album. “For

months at a time,” he continues. “I decided to make it

totally on my own. This led to me having the moment of

madness and terror. But overall it was deeply fun.” And

fun is a great way to describe the type of musical on the

album even though he wants to leave the labeling to us.

“My explanation for my music is long and inelegant. I’m too

close to it to come up with some short, pithy term for it.

Isn’t that your job?”

With an apathy toward labels, Black have empathy for

what he’s learned over the years, as he perfected his

craft as an artist. Besides learning and a becoming aware

of his limitations, he’s also learned how to turn any of

his weaknesses into strengths. “Its like anything really;

repeated, concentrated exercise of something slowly

builds technique and understanding. But a lot of what is

learned is hard to articulate.”

So far, 2010 has been very busy for Black as he tours the

country, gaining more and more fans. He’ll be at this year’s

Lollapalooza and has recently announced that he’ll join

Swedish pop sensation Robyn and R&B star Kelis on the

“All Hearts Tour,” that’s actually touted by Spin as “one of

the 25 Must-See Summer Tours this year.”

“Touring as been dope,” he describes. “One of the great

things about my job is the massive variety of experiences

it brings me. And touring is one of the most intense,

in pretty much equally good and bad ways. I’m loving

exploring the States.” Besides exploring America, he’s

also working on numerous other projects. “Having made

my album totally alone, I’m now embracing collaboration

with a force. In fact as I speak I am in LA doing a bunch

of sessions with and for other artists. It’s cool to shake

up my ways of working, particularly so dramatically.”

Looking to release his follow-up album within the next

year or so, Black is fairly a simple artist, claiming his

desired achievements in music include, “pleasure, freedom,

purpose, nice shoes…”

www.danblacksound.com<

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It was a bold move on the part of Authority Zero to begin their latest effort, “Stories of Survival,” with a Winston

Churchill speech. Their eclectic blend of ska, punk and guitar-driven rock fits like a well worn glove and that’s all you need

to know to get to understand the band. “We’ve got a little something different that we bring to the table,” says frontman

Jason DeVore. Listen to the fantastically catchy new tunes, “Big Bad World,” or “Crashland,” and you’ll see he’s right. “We

play the music (outside) of the standard format really.” This isn’t the first rodeo for Authority Zero, having released four

albums since 2002. The latest effort, “Stories of Survival” is the band at it’s finest. Welcoming original bassist Jeremy Wood

back into the mix and bringing on new guitarist Zach Vogel, the group feels more cohesive now and the music serves a

purpose in its inspirational messages. “It just kind of came down to what’s going on in the world within ourselves as a

group in our personal lives,” said DeVore. “Just the idea behind it, saying ‘We’ve got good times ahead and we’re gonna do

what we can to push ahead and keep on fighting through the struggle to make things come out better in the end.’”

AUTHORITY ZERO words by Ramon Gonzales__________________________________________________________________________________________

Aside from gaining attention due to being refugees of their Orwellian state, they have established their presence as a solid

indie-rock ensemble. The members of this band, from Tehran, Iran, are on the front lines of the Iranian “rock” movement

and continue to arm themselves with well-written songs influenced by the penchant of Queens of the Stone Age and The

Psychedelic Furs. Through the Chaos, their debut album, is comprised of reckoning lyrics and incisive guitar riffs that bear a

resemblance to Interpol. The songs on this record give way to living in the present moment and they also encourage other

musicians who are caught up in fix to break away from the regimes that control their passions and dreams. Their narrative

is not only rousing to other artistes in Iran or additional countries and cultures that forbid such exhibitions, but also for

everyone that believes in turning every wall into a door of opportunity. Hypernova’s members are alive, grateful and living

their dream without having to rock underground or under the dim light of a theocratic government. By taking on a new

sense of what it is to be an artist, they persist on doing what they love and by no means ever take anything for granted.

HYPERNOvA words by Elysia McMahan__________________________________________________________________________________________

FOR THE RECORD CONTINUED...

Eminem Resorting to InfomercialsRemember that Vince dude from

the Slap Chop commercials? The

one that says you’ll love his nuts?

Well apparently Eminem has

recruited the famous pitchman

for an infomercial promoting

the upcoming Recovery LP. The

commercial says the CD will have

“dozens of uses” including grading

cheese. It slices; it dices and will

be on clearance

shelves in no

time.

Ozzy –Are You Fucking Serious?!In seriously funny news, scientists

are planning to examine Ozzy

Ozbourne’s DNA to see how the

hell he’s still alive. After years of

hardcore partying, drinking and

god knows what else,

Scientists are looking

at how Ozzy’s body

has reacted

to the

alcohol

and drugs.

Ozzy

Ozbourne

a medical

miracle? I’ll

pay to see that.

The 2010 SRH Festival Is AnnouncedWith performances from the

likes of Unwritten Law, Authority

Zero, along with radio sensations

The Dirty Heads, and veterans

Kottonmouth Kingz, Supporting

Radical Habits has announced an

epic festival slated for August 7th in

San Bernadino, CA. Celebrating the

merger of music and lifestyle that

is SRH, you might want to score a

ticket soon, or you just have to read

about what you missed.<

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FLICkS

kEEPIN’ IT REELwords by Katie Evans

Bollywood Meets HitlerIndian actor Anupam Kher was forced

to pull out of his lead role as Hitler in

the upcoming film “Dear Friend Hitler.”

Since when were their Bollywood

versions of films about German Nazi

leaders? India’s small Jewish

community of about 5,000

was pissed, needless to say,

and protested the actor’s

role as Hitler. Though the

film director claims

there is no Hitler

glorification, he

is now short a

starring actor

Megan Fox Knows How To Express LovePossible sexiest woman in entertainment

today, Megan Fox, is off the dating market

for a second time to her boyfriend

Austin Green. That is, if the ring isn’t

anything to officially go by. After Green

proposed to her at their Hawaii hotel,

Fox jumped up and down, ecstatic,

and later on, a handful of staff were

seen sifting around in the sand for the

engagement ring.

Charlie Sheen, Once A Mess, Always A MessFor the second time this year, Charlie

Sheen’s car has been found at the

bottom of a cliff. The first time it was in

a ravine, and the latest time was near

a cliff on Mulholland Drive. Supposedly,

the car was taken from his driveway and

police suspect a “serial car cliffer” who

has been doing the same thing to other

cars in the neighborhood. Rough, for the

same dude who “can’t” go to jail because

he “can’t” stop smoking.

Bam Margera’s Ass Kicked By Some Jackass Old LadyJackass star Bam Margera had his ass

handed to him by a 59-year-old woman

wielding a bat. She was arrested, and he

went to the hospital to have his head

stapled back together. His concussion

and internal bleeding

caused some parts of

the new Jackass 3-D

movie to be rewritten,

even though it seems

like he’s had it worse

just being on the

show.<

words by Jasen T. Davis

FresH ProDuCe

INCEPTIONRelease Date: July 16th Studio: warner Bros. Pictures

THE LAST AIRBENDERRelease Date: July 10thStudio: Paramount Pictures

Well, you can only direct so many

stinkers before you are forced to direct

a mindless, big-budget action flick for

little kids, this time without a surprise

ending, thank you very much. Shyamalan’s latest offering

boasts martial artists who use magic and a lot of CGI to

command the elements of nature to fight each other. Give it

a break, it’s based on a children’s action animation series of

the same name, and it’s produced by Nickelodeon.

TwELvE Release Date: July 30thStudio: Hannover House

In the vein of Less Than Zero and

anything written by Bret Easton Ellis,

this grim movie tells the story of rich,

spiritually destitute Upper Eastside

teenagers living in Manhattan who party, drink, sell and do

drugs. The cast looks solid without being predictable. If you

aren’t interested, than just take a good dose of Trainspotting,

as a sorbet to clear the palate.

A sci-fi thriller about men who commit corporate espionage using advanced technology that allows them to steal valuable

secrets from a person’s subconscious through their dreams. Leonardo DiCaprio is Dom Cobb, a man who is the best in his

field, but his crimes have made him a fugitive from the law. He is offered a job to clear his name, but with a twist: instead of

stealing data from a person’s mind, he must plant information instead. Christopher Nolan develops science fiction that is well

crafted. If you want mindless action you may want to look elsewhere.

DINNER FOR SCHMUCkSRelease Date: July 23rdStudio: Paramount/Dreamworks

The Dinner Game was a French black

comedy about a group of successful

businessmen who hold a weekly dinner.

The point? Each guest must bring an

idiot, in this case it’s Paul Rudd bringing Steve Carell to the

party. The person who brought the biggest idiot wins, but

Steve Carell is an IRS employee who could potentially make

life a financial hell for the person that irks him.

GET LOw Release Date: July 2010Studio: Sony Picture Classics

Felix Bush (Duvall) is a hermit living

deep in the woods near a small town.

One day he shows up with cash

and demands a living funeral, where

everyone in the town can come to meet him face to face

in a morbid roast of sorts. This movie features a compelling

plot and a solid mystery at it’s core, but will likely fly over

the average audience’s head.

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FRESHpRoDUCE

DvDs

words by Alexis Amparan

TO SErvE aND

PrOTECT

The DepartedA modern classic, this Scorsese film

makes you think every cop just might

be at least a little crooked.

ColorsPenn and Duvall play the best good

cop, bad cop combination to hit the

silver screen.

Training DayThere is a reason Denzel Washing-

ton won an Oscar for playing a dirty

cop. One of the best performances,

period.

In The Heat Of The NightThis classic tail of racism and redemp-

tion has endured the test of time to

remain one of cinema’s best.

Lethal weaponBefore the whole anti-Semitism thing,

Mel Gibson was loved. The Lethal

Weapon films were a big reason why.

BROOkLYN’S FINESTAvailable On: July 6th Studio: Overture Films

So Antoine Fuqua, director of Training Day, likes cop drama – a LOT. He gives us another view of the blue in this film, or is

it? Brooklyn’s Finest comes off as a hurricane of the hypothetical as we see three cops (good, bad and handsome) trying to

make the script work. The Acting is good but it is still 133 minutes of ‘seen it.’

FAGBUGRelease Date: July 13thStudio: Garden Thieves Pictures

When Erin Davies, of Sage College,

found her VW bug vandalized with

hateful, homophobic phrases she

decided to take the rubber to the road.

Her 58 days long, cross-country trek led to further damages

to her beloved vehicle. It also led to a VW sponsorship,

awareness for the struggles of American gays and a lot

of support from straight Americans who are starting

to broaden their ideas about equality. Beep, beep Miss

Davies!

GREENSBERGRelease Date: July 13thStudio: Focus Features

Mumblecore has a new poster child…

Greenberg! There’s no mistaking that

the new genre of self-loathing, antihero,

character sketch, non-dramas are

taking over and we have a new artifact for the museum with

this film. Although you may not find it uplifting, you will

enjoy a few uncomfortable laughs, ala Napolean Dynamite,

as we watch a 40-year-old Ben Stiller do practically nothing

but mope. It’s only a lukewarm Dixie cup of water in the

face, but I like it.

A SINGLE MANRelease Date: July 6thStudio: Sony Pictures

Gucci designer Tom Ford has been

criticized for his lack of directorship

in A Single Man, perhaps, unfairly. His

amazing cast, headed up by Colin Firth

and Julianne Moore, deliver well-tailored portraits and the

script, while understated, is rich and well executed. While

Mr. Ford can no more tell his clientele how to act in his

clothes, his aesthetic definitely evokes emotion – in textiles

as well as film.

21 BELOwRelease Date: July 2010Studio: IndiePix Films

The only problem with documentaries

is their inescapable reality. Do you

really want to know what you’re eating,

how we’re destroying the world, that

there really are people starving to death in our streets?

All these topics are important to learn about and certainly

interesting for activists. But, please don’t make me watch a

documentary about a messed up, middle class family. There

is still no educational value in that.

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locals only Destined For The Main Stage

FRESH PRODUCEFRESHpRoDUCE

AUDIO

COzEttE

Formed as a collection of verteran

musicians who have played with

bands including April Sixth, Elseworth,

Homegrown, and Save Ferris, Cozette

might be unsigned hype, but not for

long. Dropping Dowry’s And Stolen Letters

With Producer Eric Talaba (Fall Out Boy,

Anberlin, Yellowcard, The Spill Canvas),

expect big things.

LEt ‘EM RIOt

The immediate conclusion would be to

lump LER in with the likes of The Postal

Service or the blatant ripoff that is Owl

City, but listen closely and find that the

one man project from Alan Oakes is a

collection of poignant songwriting and

careful attention to melody that is rarely

done with a full band, let alone one guy.

thE bOhunkS

Don’t get it twisted, soul, funk, reggae, The

Bohunks take a little from each column to

put together music that remains universal

in its appeal. And no, this is not the radio

version of reggae, no Sublime tribute

here. Classic Kingston inspired sound and

60’s heartfelt groove make the Bohunks

destined for the minastage.

words by Felix Ulery

Drops: July 6th Drops: July 13th

ICE CUBEI Am The west Label: Lench MobAvailable On: July 13th

HOw TO DESTROY ANGELSSelf-TitledThe Null Corporation

Having already been

made available for FREE

download in June, Trent

Reznor, wife Mariqueen

Maandig, and Atticus Ross

have crafted a 6-song

EP that has already set

off a firestorm of critical

praise. Making music vivid,

HTDA is a meticulous

ode to the noir missing

from music. This is

essential.

BIG BOISir Lucious Left FootDef Jam/Purple Ribbon

“General Patton” features

Big Boi rapping over

a George Solti Opera

piece, this is the kind of

creativity long missing

from hip hop. Although a

legal dispute has forced

the absence of Andre

3000 from this album,

spots from George

Clinton, T.I., B.o.B., and

Janelle Monae make this a

must have.

M.I.A./\/\/\Y/\N.E.E.T./XL Recordings

Describing her latest

effort as “schizophrenic,”

M.I.A. has already ruffled

feathers with the single

“Born Free” and the fairly

graphic music video that

dropped for it. Insightful

lyrical presence, spastic

musical arrangements,

and pop art redefined is

about the best way to

capture what Maya is all

about.

DANGERMOUSE & SPARkLEHORSEDark Night Of The SoulSelf-Released

Let’s run down the list

of featured artists on

this…Iggy Pop, Frank Black,

Julian Casablancas, Suzanne

Vega, and The Flaming Lips

to name a few. Coupled

with a book of photos

from David Lynch, this

ambitious collaboration is

likely to become a staple

for collectors – and the

music ain’t bad either.

Making an emphatic statement in the title, Ice Cube has never been one to keep quiet. Working with producers like

Dr. Dre, DJ Quik, and E-A-Ski, there is no denying that Cube’s trademark lyrical prowess shines apparent in EVERY track.

Determined to restore west coast hip-hop to its once mighty reign, Cube has made a record that will command attention.

Drops: July 12thDrops: July 6th

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GAMES

words by Alex Mendoza

FRESH PRODUCEFRESHpRoDUCE

BITS & BYTES

CRACkDOwN 2GEnRE: SCI-FI SHOOTER SySTEmS: xBOx 360 DROPS: JULy 6TH

Crackdown was a no-frills action game with a “do-as-you-please” system established for an entertaining experience. The sequel

to this action hit takes this concept to new heights, as zombies and those who oppose The Agency are your new enemies. As

if vanquishing the gangs wasn’t enough, but with even more weapons/powers at your disposal there’s nothing gamers cannot

decimate. The empowering mechanics make this worth visiting and the true sense of being a titan among men.

SHIN MEGAMI TENSEI 3: PORTABLEGEnRE: RPG SySTEmS: PSPDROPS: JULy 6TH

The original Persona 3 was released back in 2007 on the

PS2, and the game was hailed by many critics and fans

as the definitive RPG of that year. This revamp of the

beloved RPG adds several tweaks to dated mechanics

and provides an accessible and engaging experience.

Granted Final Fantasy XIII quenched the thirst of RPG

fans, but thankfully this title promotes exploration, a

memorable story and reminds gamers there are other

franchises that can give Final Fantasy a run for its money.

STARCRAFT II: wINGS OF LIBERTYGEnRE: REAL-TImE STRATEGy SySTEmS: PC & mACDROPS: JULy 27TH

Fans have been quite adamant about another in-depth

story following the exploits of the Terrans, Protoss and

Zerg. Blizzard heeded their requests, the story so vast

that it had to be split into three chapters to equally focus

on all three races. Characters like Raynor and Kerrigan

return, along with the same innovative gameplay and jaw-

dropping graphics that made the first title a classic. The

sequel continues this tradition of excellence and justifies

good things come to those who wait.

ThE GAMES YOU LOVE TO hATE nAUGHTy BEAR - xBOx 360

You would imagine the idea of playing as a teddy bear that terrorizes other stuffed

animals would be hilarious and entertaining. Especially if it’s going to be done at

some sadistically charming level, or say the developers say. But then it’s in your

hands and you’re playing it only to realize what a God-awful decision you made. You

can’t go back, though, because you play hoping the clunky mechanics will improve.

They don’t. Ever. Another “good idea gone bad”.

Project NatalThe Wii proved the idea of asking

gamers to physically partake in

games. Microsoft hopes to do

the same with its motion-sensor

camera, dubbed Project Natal,

when it is unveiled at the next

E3. A recent study conducted by

a consumer research firm OTX

screened 1,500 gamers (14 – 34)

that play video games more than 1

hour, and of that 56% indicate they

will more than likely purchase the

component if it has “low prices,

demos to observe at retail stores

and the ability to play first-rate

titles with the component”.

Killzone 3: Bigger & BetterGuerilla Studios is

going all out for their

next stint in the

Killzone franchise

with Killzone 3.

One of the newest

features

will

be the ability to wear a jetpack,

which leads to the type of double-

jumping elements you would find

in a platformer. Also the game will

be designed to be played in 3D for

those who end up forking the cash

to buy the snazzy 3D television and

the 3D glasses to boot.

Hedgehog’s DilemmaGamers have been going into

somewhat of a nostalgic frenzy

since Sonic the Hedgehog 4: Episode I

was announced in development for

X Box 360’s “X Box 360 Arcade”

service, along with the Wii Ware

and PlayStation Network. This

comes sixteen years following Sonic

The Hedgehog 3, but sadly it would

appear gamers will have to wait

until later 2010. SEGA released

an announcement that implied this

extension will give developers more

time to fine tune the game, in turn

giving gamers “an unrivaled classic

Sonic experience.” <

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With filming, djing, and recording, when do you find time to sleep?Last night I went to bed around 1 a.m. and slept

until 11 a.m.! When I do get a chance to sleep I

take advantage of it. Especially lately, with DJ’ing,

it’s such a nightlife thing. Everybody in the town

is going out every night so they don’t miss out

on anything but the best thing is to get rest and

relaxation…that’s what the good life’s all about.

Should we be surprised to see you behind the tables or is that old news? My brother can remember the day I went to Guitar

Center and bought turntables and a mixer and I had

a tiny crate of records and I brought them home

[to our apartment]. That was right around the

age where I moved to LA to pursue my dreams of

dancing and acting and that took off for me. When

our industry got so messed up I went out and

bought turntables again because if I’m not creative

I’m not alive.

Some of your best friends are Djs, was their support enough or were you nervous?I’m especially nervous in front of my peers. Ever

since I started DJ’ing I’ve been thrown into crazy

situations, like Vegas, but my whole attitude is kind

of sink or swim. I’ve been thrown into movies

where there’s a little nudity or a sex scene and I’ve

had to show up to set the first day and these idiots

make me do my sex scene, very first thing, first day

on set. I’ve been thrown into so many be brave,

courageous situations that it’s just a part of me

now, but deep down inside I’m dying.

Your film, LOVE RANCH, is out this month and is the true story of Nevada’s legal brothels. WHAT THE HELL IS HELEN MIRREN DOING IN THIS FILM?I feel like this is exactly what she needed because

when you’re an actor and you’re versatile and

you’re amazing, like Helen Mirren and Meryl Streep

and some of my other favorites, you can’t always

play the beautiful, elegant queen or wife. You know,

Helen’s smart, she played the queen and won

awards and now she’s playing a madam. I think it’s

genius. I love that she’s risky, I don’t like people that

are scared and that keep it safe.

You are leaving soon for Oahu to film HAWAII FIVE-O, which

one blogger speculated that you weren’t going to be a part of…There’s some idiot out there that’s writing that and

it isn’t true because I’m leaving for Hawaii, tickets in

hand, and I’m in the second episode [not the pilot]

and unless the show takes a shit I’ve got my ticket

and I’m going. There’s always going to be that kind

of crap. But at least they’re talking and speculating.

I hope Hawaii Five-0 is successful. I don’t watch

a lot of television, but I hope this goes a long way

with some style, some class, some edge, and some

dignity.

What do you hope for you future in film?Look I’m a rock and roller, there’s no denying it

but when it comes to that red carpet and being

considered an actress, I’m a good actress and

when those opportunities come around I take

advantage of them and I’m glad to go and be

among my peers. I’m a dramatic actor, but I don’t

want to keep being put into these roles where I’m

tortured all the time because I’m actually really

funny and a lighthearted person. And I’m hoping

that in the future there’s some sort of comedy and

some other material because I really feel like I’ve

done the dramatic thing. <

TrIPLE ThrEaT Taryn Manning Shines On Every Stage words by Alexis Amparan

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nitty Gritty

WEWaNT

ThE

aIrWavEs

Stryker o

f the W

orld Famous K

ROQ

Doesn’t Take This L

ightly

words by: R

amon Gonzale

s photos b

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Let’s take a trip back in time for a minute to 1999. Just to

put things into sort of a pop culture timeline for reference,

this was the same year that Napster was first introduced to the

world. In the same year, a then governor of Texas, George W. Bush

announced he would seek the Republican Party nomination for

President of the United States. Oh yeah, and a then second to

the almighty PC company called Apple released their first ever

iBook laptop computer. 1999 would also be the same year Stryker

would take to the airwaves for the LA rock radio institution that is

KROQ. More impressive than the duration of 11 years in of itself,

is the feat of staying relevant in a medium that has undoubtedly

experienced significant change in the last decade, (think iPods and

satellite feeds). Stryker has helped break bands that have gone on

to become some of music’s biggest marquee names – System of A

Down, 311, MUSE – just to name a few. His tenure at KROQ thus

far has included a longtime stint as host on the station’s hugely

popular “Loveline” syndicated call-in program alongside Dr. Drew

Pinksi, an eventual segue into film in television, (yup – he was the

dude who played records for Ellen DeGeneres to dance to every

afternoon), a brief departure to another station, and on March

1, 2010, he would return home to KROQ to helm the coveted

afternoon drive-time slot every Monday through Friday. For the

LA native who admittedly stumbled into his passion, 11 years has

passed by in a blink. He’d likely tell you – time flies when you are

having fun.

“I worked at the Four Seasons Hotel in Beverly Hills for six months,

it felt like five years. I worked at 31 Flavors for nine months; It felt

like two years. Now I’m at KROQ for the past 11 years and I cant

even believe that much time has gone by. For me, maybe not to

other people, it feels like I have been on the Lakers for the past

10 years. I grew up with the station…once I got into radio, it was

the place I always wanted to be.” Ironically, Stryker’s radio career

happened to begin with casual coincidence. Growing up enamored

by “NWA on the far right and The Cure and Depeche Mode on

the far left,” it wasn’t until Stryker left LA to attend college in

Tucson that his calling actually began to take shape.

He began working in radio at a station in Tucson after a “hey come

check out the studio” type of suggestion from a friend. It was

there he managed to capture the attention of KROQ decision

makers. “I was actually on KROQ before I was even hired. I was

flown out from Tucson to meet with KROQ and they were like,

‘hey, what are you doing tonight? Why don’t you come back and

go on at 8. Tonight.’ It wasn’t some odd hour of the night, they put

me on at 8 at night. It was huge for me.”

This kind of immediate confidence KROQ invested in Stryker,

combined with a sincere love of the job resulted in a steady

ascension at the station. He would quickly become one of the

more notable personalities on the air. Just how popular did

Stryker get? Just two years into his career at KROQ, television

networks already began knocking on his door. “My second year

in, the American Idol people came calling. I had an interview and

audition all in one day.” Stryker was hired, contacts and all, to

be the fourth judge of the then unknown show. But as a young

professional really looking to cement his reputation and legitimacy

in a competitive field, he began to have second thoughts. “I was

finding my footing at KROQ, trying to figure out who I was on the

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NITTygRITTy

radio, and really selling myself to the KROQ audience….Two

days before taping, after talking to people I was like, I can’t do

this. I can’t be the guy who interviews System of A Down and

world premieres new Rage Against The Machine and I’m judging

a karaoke contest.” Despite the huge success of the show,

Stryker genuinely felt no regret about walking away. “KROQ

really was were I always wanted to be. I felt that now that I was

there, I needed to do everything I could to be the best at that. I

don’t have any regrets about the decisions I made.”

Continuing to cement his credibility on the airwaves, Stryker

could only stave off Hollywood for so long before his inevitable

transition would happen. All while continuing to be one of

radio’s most important personalities, Stryker would land roles

in feature films including Out Cold and Grandma’s Boy. He

would land roles on television shows including VH1’s Charm

School and a sidekick spot on the Ellen DeGeneres Show. Yet

despite the kind of success he has enjoyed outside of the realm

of radio, Stryker adamantly maintains that above all else, radio

is the reason. “Loaning your voice to a video game is probably

one of the coolest things I’ve done,” Stryker grins. “Anything I

have ever got to do outside of radio really happened because

of radio…when I worked at the Four Seasons, I never missed a

day. I never showed up late. I was never rude to anyone. Being

on KROQ for 10 years, it’s been the same approach, just on

a bigger scale.” A conversation with Stryker about his career

seemed to naturally conjure something famous Los Angeles

Dodger Coach/Legend Tommy Lasorda once said, “If you love

your job, you haven’t worked a day in your life.”

“Maybe this is speaking too highly but, every single day that I

go to work, I always think, ‘you never know.’ What if someone

is tuning into KROQ for the very first time? What if Jack

Johnson is in town and wants to know what’s going on at

KROQ. It’s my job to make sure they do not have a reason to

change the station.” From having deli sandwiches with Jerry

Heller (NWA. Google it.) to famously climbing onstage with

the guys in Pennywise to sing “Bro Hymn,” a vital component

to Stryker’s longevity has been his ability to convey a sincere

admiration for what he does everyday. To once again put things

into perspective, most marriages don’t last a decade and if you

weren’t doing it right, you couldn’t keep a job picking up trash

for 11 years, let alone command a daily audience of hundreds

of thousands. Despite that fact, Stryker sidesteps the notion

of celebrity status and the clichéd ego and credits his success

to something that is much more universal. “I have always tired

to be a decent guy, stick to my guns, and I have always tired to

show people the kind of passion I have for this job.” Flustered,

Stryker almost forgets his train of thought and simply concedes,

“I’m happy…God, that was a terrible answer. (Laughs)”

Just one listen any weekday afternoon and you would be hard

pressed to find a reason to disagree with Stryker’s conviction

or Mr. Lasorda assertion for that matter. When you are happy

and love what you do, you just can’t call it work. <www.twitter.com/tedstryker

www.kroq.com

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SKINNIEMAGAZINE.COM • 55

I have always tired to be a

decent guy, stick to my guns, and

I have always tired to show

people the kind of passion I have

for this job...

...I’m happy.- stryker

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SKINNIEMAGAZINE.COM • 5�

INDEX________________________________________________________________

LOS ANGELES LAS vEGAS ORANGE COUNTY SAN DIEGO INLAND EMPIREWeekly Club Listings

Calendar

Club Pictures

KROQ’S Weenie Roast

Ink-N-Iron Festival

Weekly Club Listings

Calendar

Club Pictures

Weekly Club Listings

Calendar

Club Pictures

Weekly Club Listings

Calendar

Club Pictures

Weekly Club Listings

Calendar

Club Pictures

p.058

p.059

p.060

p.062 p.064 p.066 p.068

skinnie sCene

ozzy osBourne @ aMoeBa reCorDs

To Receive Updates on Skinnie Scene Club Listings or To Submit Your Events, E-mail: [email protected] to be Added to Our Weekly Skinnie E-blasts.

Page 58: Skinnie Magazine Issue 102

5� • SKINNIEMAGAZINE.COM

LA CALENDAR07.01 The Adicts @ Key Club

07.07 Fear Factory w/ 36 Crazyfists, After the Burial, Divine Heresy @ House of Blues Sunset Strip

07.10 The Briggs @ The Troubadour

07.12 Kings of Leon @ Hollywood Bowl

07.17 HARD L.A. feat. MIA, N.E.R.D. Die Antwoord, Flying Lotus, and more @ LA State Historic Park

07.23 Sick of it All @ Key Club

07.24 The Game @ Club nokia

07.30 Three 6 Mafia @ Key Club

07.31 Cool Tour 2010 feat. As I Lay Dying, Underoath, Between The Buried And me @ Hollywood Palladium

07.29-08.01 ESPN Summer X Games 16 @ Staples Center, Nokia Theatre, LA Coliseum and LA Live

Ozzy Osbourne @ House Of Blues

E3

Ozzy Osbourne @ Amoeba Records

E3

Ozzy Osbourne @ House Of Blues

Photos Courtesy of Karen Curley, Harmony Gerber, Sean Myers, Alan Rivera

NOS Energy Drink Gives Away Custom Built Nissan @ E3

Ozzy Osbourne @ Amoeba Records

E3

Ozzy Osbourne @ Amoeba Records

SkINNIESCENELOS AngELES |

NOS Energy Drink Gives Away Custom Built Nissan @ E3

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NITTygRITTy

KROQ’S Weenie ROaSt Photos By David Gatson

SkINNIESCENELOS AngELES |

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NITTygRITTy

inK-n-iROn FeStivaL @ the Queen maRy Photos By Harmony Gerber

SkINNIESCENELOS AngELES |

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Rehab

Playboy Club

Rehab

Rain

Rehab

Photos Courtesy of Joe Fury & 9 Group

Moon

Rehab

Pauly D @ The Palms

Rehab

Moon

SkINNIESCENELAS vEgAS |LV CALENDAR

07.02 Z-Trip, Rain Night Club @ Palms Casino

07.02 Shooter Jennings @ Crown Theater

07.03 One Republic @ mandalay Bay Events Center

07.03 UFC 116 Lesnar vs. Carwin @ MGM Grand Garden

07.04 mike Epps @ The Joint

07.04 Kaskade @ wynn Hotel

07.16 Silversun Pickups w/ Against me!, Henry Clay People @ The Joint

07.17 Ziggy Marley @ Mandalay Bay Resort & Casino

07.18 Thrice @ House of Blues Las Vegas

07.30 Sublime w/ Rome, Matisyahu, Dirty Heads @ Mandalay Bay Beach

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OC CALENDAR

07.01 Boozy Floozy’s Burlesque Show @ Galaxy Theater

07.01 Pinback @ Detroit Bar

07.01 Guttermouth @ The Slidebar

07.03 Dum Dum Girls @ Detroit Bar

07.03 Hootenanny 2010 @ Oak Canyon Ranch, Irvine

07.09 Bad Astronaut @ Chain Reaction

07.14 Kings of Leon @ Verizon Amphitheatre

07.24 311, The Offspring, Pepper @ verizon Amphitheatre

07.24 The Devil wears Prada @ Chain Reaction

08.13 Geren Day, AFI @ Verizon Amphitheatre

08.19 wolfmother @ House of Blues

Sharkeez

The Continental

Sharkeez

Shifty @ The Continental

Sharkeez

Photos Courtesy of Erik Faiivae, Alan Rivera, and Christian Sosa

Sutra

Shifty @ The Continental

Lil Jon @ Sutra

The Continental

Sutra

SkINNIESCENEORAngE COunty |

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SD CALENDAR

07.09 kings of Leon @ Cricket Amphitheatre

07.11 wailers @ Sound wave

07.15 91x Loudspeaker Presents Dead Feather moon, The Pheromones, and Italian Japanese @ Belly Up Tavern

07.15 mGmT @ SDSU Open Air Theatre

07.17 Slightly Stoopid with Cypress Hill @ Cricket Amphitheatre

07.22 Comic-Con 2010 @ San Diego Convention Center

07.24 Comedian Aziz Ansari and Adam Corolla @ House of Blues San Diego

07.25 91x presents x-Fest 2010 feat. 311, The Offspring, Cake, Unwritten Law, Pepper, Authority Zero @ Cricket Amphitheatre

07.29 Three 6 Mafia @ 4th and B

Photos Courtesy of Clubdistrict.comSkINNIESCENESAn dIEgO |

voyeur

Intervention @ The Hard Rock

voyeur

Intervention @ The Hard Rock

voyeur

voyeur

Intervention @ The Hard Rock

voyeur

Intervention @ The Hard Rock

voyeur

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IE CALENDAR07.03 Punk in the Fox: The Adicts, Agent Orange, The Dickies @ Fox Theater

07.09-07.11 Joe Rogan @ Ontario Improv

07.10 Rockstar Energy Mayhem w/ korn, Rob Zombie @ San Manuel

07.10 no Age @ The Glass House

07.17 Thrice @ Fox Theater

07.18 mGmT @ Fox Theater

07.24 Ziggy marley @ Harrah’s

07.24 Scream The Prayer Tour III w/ maylene and the Sons of Disaster, For Today, Blessed by a Broken Heart, and more @ The Glass House

07.29 Swingin’ Utters @ The Vibe

07.30 Pat Benetar w/ Neil Giraldo @ Pechanga Casino & Resort

Toro Sushi

Chronic Tacos Cantina

Sundaze @ The Pool

Chronic Tacos Cantina

Toro Sushi

Photos Courtesy of Erik Faiivae, Tim Sheppard, The ZOG

Chronic Tacos Cantina

Sundaze @ The Pool

Chronic Tacos Cantina

Sundaze @ The Pool

Chronic Tacos Cantina

SkINNIESCENEInLAnd EMPIRE |

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CANCER (Jun 22-Jul 22)If a friend tries to get you to eat some

grain called quinoa, don’t eat it. They boiled some spider carcasses and are trying to

play it off as real food for a good laugh. Blah.

LEO (Jul 23-Aug 23)Leaving a blender careless on the floor in your kitchen while friends visit with little children isn’t smart. The nosy kid will decide to play house and end up slicing their fingers up. Don’t be stupid; clean up!

VIRGO (Aug 24- Sept 23)While it is the “in” thing to smuggle people across state lines in trucks with camper shells, ensure the camper shell is secured prior to running from the police on the freeway. Neglecting this will only lead to the camper shell flying off, smashing the cop’s windshield and throwing all the bodies in the back on the highway, where they get run over and die.

LIBRA (Sept 24-Oct 23)Someone is going to introduce you to a new meaning of “kick rocks” after they beat you up for talking smack. Kindly, they will also shove those hard minerals down your throat to accompany that flapping mouth!

SCOPRIO (Oct 24-Nov 23)Just a reminder in terms of volume for containers: beer bottles are for beer; trash cans are for stuff you want to discard; and toilets are for pee, poop, used condoms and tampons and barf. Attempting to throw-up in a beer bottle goes against the laws of physics and will only end up all over you. Not too hot if trying to get laid that night.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov 24-Dec 21)Unless you want your car to catch on fire, do not store flammables in the engine compartment and drive across the country, ok?

CAPRICORN (Dec 22-Jan 20)What might seem like an innocent bush to take a public urination in, is actually located next to a sheriffs rest stop. Neglecting to notice the parked police cars is only going to leave you pissing your pants as you are held up at gun point and slapped with a sex offender charge.

AQUARIUS (Jan 21-Feb 19)Jelly Belly jelly beans are known for unique flavors, but they didn’t warn you about the asshole berry flavor. This disgusting treat will glue itself into your molar where you will saw off your tongue trying to remove the morsel from your mouth. Hope you don’t mind never talking again.

PISCES (Feb 20-Mar 20)If a stranger extends an opened beer can to you with juicy snot ridden spit dripping down the side, this doesn’t really mean they want to be friends. It’s probably best to toss the beverage and walk away.

ARIES (Mar 21-Apr 20)Take a hint. If the person you are dating tells you they are finished with the relationship, let them go. Being an emotional sap and trying to contact and rekindle will only result in their parents showing up to your place, laying the smack down on you. Ouchy and embarrassing!

TAURUS (Apr 21-May 21)Don’t be the first to pass out at the party, because you’ll be waking to a lovely dick slap in the face!

GEMINI (May 22-Jun 21)If you are going to be kind enough to lend a friend $30, don’t drunk dial them an hour late accusing them of taking the money and using it for bad things. This will piss them off and you’ll never see that money again.

words by Eleni Vazquez

HAppyENDINgS

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