Singlehood, Pairing and Cohabitation

Michael ItagakiSociology 275, Marriage and

Family

Marriage Marketplace

Process that involves bargaining, exchange and love. Physical attractiveness’ importance

early Halo effect

In dating game, people prefer attractive people

Marriage Marketplace

Process that involves bargaining, exchange and love. People tend to choose “equals” in

terms of: Looks, intelligence, education, etc…

Men more likely than women to care about partners’ appearance

Marital Exchange

The traditional exchange is related to traditional gender roles: Men offer status, economic

resources, and protection. Women offer nurturing,

childbearing, and physical attractiveness.

Marriage Squeeze

Gender imbalance reflected in the ratio of available unmarried women to men.

There are more unmarried women than men But ages 15 to 39, there are more

unmarried men

Marriage Gradient Tendency for women to marry men of

higher status

Ratio of Unmarried Men to Unmarried Women, 2002

Field of Eligibles

Consists of those of whom our culture approves as potential partners.

Endogamy Marriage within a particular group.

Exogamy Marriage outside a particular group.

Field of Eligibles

Homogamy Tendency to choose a mate whose

characteristics are similar to ours. Most important elements are race,

religion, age, socioeconomic status Residential propinquity

Heterogamy Tendency to choose a mate whose

characteristics are different from ours.

Field of Eligibles

Hypergamy Marrying above one’s socioeconomic

level Trend for women

Hypogamy Marrying below one’s socioeconomic

level. Trend for men

Other Theories

Complimentary Needs Theory “Opposites attract”—People seek

spouses whose needs are different. Parental Image Theory

Seek partners similar to our opposite-sex parent.

Stimulus-value-role Theory The stimulus stage = attraction The value stage = weighing partners’

values The role stage = analyze partner’s

potential

Development of Romantic Relationships Seeing, Meeting, Dating Dating terminology and practices

What are slang terms given for dating today?

Development of Romantic Relationships Seeing, Meeting, Dating Seeing

Closed fields Open fields

Development of Romantic Relationships Seeing, Meeting, Dating Meeting

Men more likely to initiate a meeting directly

Women more likely wait for an introduction

Changing methods: Online, personal ads, etc…

Obstacles for homosexuals

Development of Romantic Relationships Seeing, Meeting, Dating Dating

Both men and women agree men should initiate first dates

Development of Romantic Relationships Problems Associated with Dating

Divergent gender-roles Common problems for women Common problems for men “Involvements” outside dating

relationships

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do Be sure you want to break up.

Speed bump or road block? Acknowledge that your partner will be

hurt Acceptance or avoidance?

Put finality to the relationship Cushioning the blow or prolonging the

agony? Don’t change your mind

Does heartache equal a bad decision?

Breaking Up Is Hard to Do If Your Partner Breaks up With

You: The pain is natural and temporary You are worthwhile, whether you

are with a partner or not Keep a sense of humor

Singlehood

According to the 2000 Census: 24% of the U.S. population (18 and

up) had never married. Over 68 million adult Americans (18

or older) are unmarried (divorced or never married).

More than 80 million if include widows, widowers.

Factors in Rising Number of Single Adults Delayed marriage

The longer one postpones marriage, the greater the likelihood of never marrying.

% of Never-Married Women and Men, 1970–2000

Male Female

Age 1970 2000 1970 2000

20–24 35.8 83.7 54.7 72.8

25–29 10.5 51.7 19.1 38.1

30–34 6.2 30.1 9.4 21.9

35–39 5.4 20.3 7.2 14.3

40–44 4.9 15.7 6.3 11.8

Factors in Rising Number of Single Adults Delayed marriage

The longer one postpones marriage, the greater the likelihood of never marrying.

Expanded lifestyle and employment options for women. Increased enrollment of women in

college Increased rates of divorce and

decreased likelihood of remarriage.

Factors in Rising Number of Single Adults More liberal social and sexual

standards. Uneven ratio of unmarried men to

unmarried women.

Pushes and Pulls Toward Marriage

Pushes Pulls

Pushes and Pulls Toward Marriage

Pushes PullsCultural normsLonelinessSocial stigma of singlehoodMedia images

Pushes and Pulls Toward Marriage

Pushes PullsCultural normsLonelinessSocial stigma of singlehoodMedia images

Love and emotional securityDesire for childrenEconomic securitySocial status “grown-up”

Pushes and Pulls Toward Singlehood

Pushes Pulls

Pushes and Pulls Toward Singlehood

Pushes PullsProblems in marriageStagnant relationship with spouseFeelings of isolation with spouseSexual problems

Pushes and Pulls Toward Singlehood

Pushes PullsProblems in marriageStagnant relationship with spouseFeelings of isolation with spouseSexual problems

Freedom to growSelf-sufficiencyExpanded friendshipsSexual exploration

Four Types of Singles

Ambivalents Voluntarily single Consider singleness temporary.

Wishfuls Involuntarily and temporarily single Seeking marital partners but have

been unsuccessful.

Four Types of Singles

Resolveds Permanently single Priests, nuns, or “permanently”

single parents Regretfuls

Prefer to marry but are resigned to their “fate.”

Singles: Myths And Realities

Singles are dependent on their parents.

Singles are self-centered. Singles value friends more than

marrieds.

Singles: Myths And Realities Singles have more money. Singles are happier.

Singles believe they are happier than marrieds

Marrieds believe that they are happier than singles.

Singles view singlehood as a lifetime alternative.

Characteristics of Singlehood Singles don’t easily fit into

married society Singles have more time Singles have more fun Singles are lonely

Reasons to Cohabit

Temporary casual convenience Affectionate dating or going together. Economic advantage or necessity. Trial marriage. Respite from being single. Temporary alternative to marriage. Permanent alternative to marriage.

Cohabitation: 1960 to 2001

Social Impact of Cohabitation Cohabitation delays the age of

marriage Cohabiting relationships

generally don’t last more than two years

Cohabiting couples more likely to divorce than those who do not live together before marriage.

Legal Rights and Benefits Only For Married Couples Automatically make medical decisions if

your partner is injured or incapacitated. Automatically inherit your partner’s

property if he or she dies without a will. Enter hospitals, jails, and other places

restricted to “immediate family”. Obtain health and dental insurance,

bereavement leave, and other employment benefits.

Gay and Lesbian Cohabitation Between 600,000 and 1.5 million

gay men and lesbians cohabit. Whereas heterosexual cohabiting

couples tend to adopt a traditional marriage model, lesbians and gay men utilize a “best friend” model that promotes equality in roles and power.