Musical Arrangements and Text Copyright 1986, 2003 Singin' In The Rain Co. Limited Partnership

Screenplay by Betty Comden and Adolph Green

I-3DORA

(Laughing)Oh, thank you, Roscoe. And this is Cosmo Brown, the man who playsthe piano on the set to get Don and Lina into those romanticmoods. Would you like to say a word?

COSMOWell, Dora, tell them I agree with whatever R.F. and Roscoe said.And further more...

(Just then, there is an emormous roar from the CROWD as a white limo drives on upstage of the palm trees. The CHINESE DOORMAN opens the door asLINA LAMONT and DON LOCKWOOD emerge from the car.DON LOCKWOOD is wearing an elegant white cashmere coat and LINA is dressed dazzingly. The CROWD pushes forward to be near THEM.)

DORA(Pushing COSMO away from the mike)

Ladies and gentlemen, you should see this gorgeous couple. Its nowonder they are a household name all over the world. Like baconand eggs.

(A PHOTOGRAPHER snaps a shot)--Lockwood and Lamont.

(DON blows a kiss to the CROWD. A FAN faints. DON and LINA cross to the microphone.)

Don, you can tell me confidentally. Are these rumors true thatwedding bells are soon to ring for you and Lina?

DON(With charming indifference)

Well, Dora, Lina and I have no statements to make at this time.Were just good friends.

DORAJust good friends! Do I hear the -- the wedding march?

DONCosmo, can you play the wedding march?

DORAYouve come a long way together, Don. Wont you tell us how it allhappened?

DONNo, no, Dora. Not in front of all these people.

(The CROWD pushes to center)

I-9DON

My fianc... Lina, youve been reading the fan magazines again. Youshouldnt believe all that banana oil Dora Bailey and the colum-nists dish out. Theres nothing between us. There has never beenanything between us -- just air.

LINA(Who has been billing, cooing, and giggling)

Oh, you dont mean that. Come on darling or well be late for Mr.Simpsons party.

ROD(ROD, who has been holding LINAs fur wrap helps LINA put it on.)

Miss Lamont, were going in separate cars -- uh, to break up themobs.

LINA(Buying it)

Oh(Adjusting her wrap)

Ta, ta, Donny. See you there!(ROD and LINA exit right)

COSMO(Imitating LINAs voice)

Ta, ta, Lina. See you there.

SIMPSON(Exiting)

Hurry up, Don. Ive got a lot of press waiting.(SIMPSON exits right)

DON(Crossing left to R.C.)

This cooked up romance, Cosmo. Just for publicity!

COSMO(Crossing to him)

Price of fame, Don. Youve got the glory. Youve got to take thelittle heartaches that go with it. Now look at me. Ive got nofame, Ive got no glory, but Ive got -- hey, what have I got?

DONI dont know, what have you got?

COSMOI got to get out of here.

DON(Warmly)

Cos, you could have all those things. Youve got all kinds of tal-ent. All you need is a little drive!

I-30DEXTER

(Less than enthused)Hello...

(To no one in particular)Hey, lets get those lights set, fellows! Hey! What are we waitingfor? Hey! Wheres Lina?

1ST ASSISTANT(Yelling off left)

Miss Lina Lamont on the set, please!

2ND ASSISTANTMiss Lina Lamont on the set, please!

3RD ASSISTANTMiss Lina Lamont on the set, please!

(Beat)Here comes Miss Lamont now!

2ND ASSISTANTHere comes Miss Lamont now!

1ST ASSISTANT(Yelling into Dexters ear)

Here comes...

DEXTERI know! I know!

(LINA enters from up left. SHE looks breathtakingly beautiful in her huge bouffant 18th Century skirt and bare bodice and high towering powdered wig. SHE walks carefully down to below the bench. SHE is flanked by a HAIRDRESSSSER and WARDROBE WOMAN.)

DEXTERHere comes our lovely leading lady LINA. HEY! Lets go!

LINAGee, this wig weighs a ton! What dope would wear a thing likethis?

DEXTER(Patiently)

Everybody used to wear them, Lina.

LINAThen everybody was a dope.

(LINAs head starts to tip over from the weight of the wig.)

Hey!(WARDROBE WOMAN catches LINA and straightens her up.)

I-31WARDROBE WOMAN

(Long-suffering)Honey, you look beautiful.

DEXTER(Reassuring)

Yes, you look great. Lets get into the set. Hey! Wheres Don?(LINA crosses right)

1ST ASSISTANTMr. Lockwood on the set, please!

2ND ASSISTANTMr. Lockwood on the set, please!

(DON enters right dressed in his 18th Century garb, complete with wig.)

3RD ASSISTANTMr. Lockwood on the set, Please!

DONMr. Lockwood is on the set!

DEXTER(Turns to find DON face to face with HIM)

I know! Oh hello, Don. Im so glad youre here!(DEXTER crosses left to talk to his assistants)

LINAI looked for you the other night at Wally Rays party. Where wereyou?

DON(D.C.)

Oh -- Ive been busy --

DEXTER(Shouting, upstage)

HEY! Give us those lights, Clyde!!!(The lights come up on the set)

LINA(Accusingly)

And I know what youve been busy at. Looking for that girl.

DONAs a matter of fact, yes.

LINA(Pouting)

Why?

DONIve been worried about her.

I-44

DONYOU WERE MEANT FOR MEAND I WAS MEANT FOR YOUNATURE PATTERNED YOUAND WHEN SHE WAS DONEYOU WERE ALL THE SWEET THINGSROLLED UP IN ONE

YOURE LIKE A PLAINTIVE MELODYTHAT NEVER LETS ME FREEBUT IM CONTENTTHE ANGELS MUST HAVE SENT YOUAND THEY MEANT YOU JUST FOR ME

(THEY DANCE)

BUT IM CONTENTTHE ANGELS MUST HAVE SENT YOUAND THEY MEANT YOU JUST FOR ME.

(As SEQUE to playoff as lights slowly fade)

BUT IM CONTENTTHE ANGELS MUST HAVE SENT YOUAND THEY MEANT YOU JUST FOR ME

Scene 10

Vocal Coachs offices. As LINA and MISS DINSMORE come downstage, the set comes in behind them. LINAand DINSMORE will work in one-quarter of the stage, down left or right. The opposite three-quarters will be the larger office of the mens vocal teacher.

At rise: The two WOMEN are going through LINAs diction lesson. MISS DINSMORE is teachng LINA the sounds. SHE speaks in a well-rounded tone -- typical buxom, fruity-voiced diction teacher. MISS DINSMORE is trying to be overly patient with a rather dense LINA. BOTH are holding dictionbooks.

I-45DINSMORE

Now! Ta-tay-tee-toe-too.

LINA(Impossibly nasal and flat, but totally unaware ofanything wrong)

Ta-tay-tee-toe-too.

DINSMORENo, no, Miss Lamont. Rrround tones. Rrround tones. Now, let mehear you rrread your line.

LINA(Very flat on the an sounds)

And I cant stan im.

DINSMOREAnd I cahnnt stand him.

LINAAnd I cant stan im.

DINSMORECahnt!

LINACant.

DINSMORECaaahnt!

I-46

LINA(Like a goat bleating)

Caaaant.

(Lights fade stage left where the TWO LADIES are. As THEY are exiting, the lights come up on stage right in the male diction coachs office.)

Scene 10-A

Male Diction Coachs office. DON, dressed casually, is being coached by a professional-looking MALE DICTION TEACHER. Don is obviously having very little trouble.

DONCahnt - Cahnt - Cahnt.

TEACHERGood. Now. Around the rocks the rugged rascal ran.

DONAround the rocks the rugged --

TEACHER(Interrupting)

Rrrrrrocks - Rrrrrrocks.

DONAround the rocks the rugged rascal ran.

I-49DON & COSMO

AS MOSES SUPPOSES HIS TOESES TO BE

A ROSE IS A ROSE IS A ROSE IS A ROSESA ROSE IS WHAT MOSES SUPPOSES HIS TOES ISCOULDNT BE A LILY OF A DAFFI-DOWN DILLY,ITS GOTTA BE A ROSE CAUSE IT RHYMES WITH MOSEMOSESMOSESMOSES

(DANCE. THEY play with the TEACHER throughout the dance. As the dance ends, THEY strike a pose.)

HEY!(After the song, the STAGEHANDS, GRIPS and all MOVIE PERSONNEL rush on as we will dissolve to theactual sound filming of the talking version of The Dueling Cavalier. CROSS FADE)

Scene 11

Monumental Pictures sound stage Dueling Cavalierset (repeated, this time, with visible sound equipment, cable, etc. denoting the difference from the previous scene. There is a distinct area,behind a partition, for the sound technicians.

Note: For recording sequences, it may be preferable to pre-record the recorded dialogue which can then be lip-synched by the actors. This allows for greater changes in amplification than would be possible by voice alone.

At rise: LINA is seated on the bench center stage.DEXTER is standing next to her. CREW and STAFF are all in their appropriate places after the scenic transition. During the transition THEY sing.

Reprise: MOSES

ALLMOSES SUPPOSES HIS TOESES ARE ROSESBUT MOSES SUPPOSES ERRONEOUSLYDEXTER AND ALL HIS ASSISTANTS TOGETHERCANT MAKE LINA SPEAK MORE EUPHON-I-OUS-LY.

I-50

DEXTER(Patiently)

All right, here we go. Quiet!

1ST ASSISTANTQuiet!

2ND ASSISTANTQuiet!

3RD ASSISTANTQuiet!

DEXTERRoll em

(HE goes into sound booth)

LINA(Barely audible)

Oh, Pierre, you shouldnt have come. Youre...

SOUND ENGINEERRoscoe, shes got to talk into the mike. I cant pick it up.

DEXTER(Coming out of the booth)

Cut! Lina, darling, dont you remember? I told you theres amicrophone right there -- in the bush.

(HE points to the microphone sticking in the bush)

LINAYeah.

I-52

Reprise: MOSESALL

LOOKS LIKE WERE GONNABE STUCK HERE FOREVER,UNTIL LINA SPEAKSMORE EUPHON-I-OUS-LY

(During the above THEY are wiring a microphone to the corsage in the center of LINAs bosom so it isnow on her instead of in the bush.)

LINAWhat are you doing?

WARDROBE LADYYoure being wired for sound, honey.

DEXTEROkay, Lina, now look at that flower. See?

(HE points to the corsage)The mike is in there. Now it should catch whatever you say. Solets hear how it sounds, okay?

(We see the wire goes down inside LINAs dress andout the bottom of her skirt onto the floor.)

LINAOkay

DEXTEROkay, Quiet!

1ST ASSISTANTQuiet!

2ND & 3RD ASSISTANTQuiet!

DEXTERLights! Roll em!

(LINA starts her line and through the whole thing we hear a loud, even thumping sound).

LINA(Muffled by loud thumping.)

Oh, Pierre, you shouldnt have come. Youre flirting with danger.You...

DEXTERWhats that noise?

I-59

LINA(To DEXTER, proudly)

Good and loud, huh!

SIMPSON(Utterly dejected)

Were ruined! Were all ruined.

(COSMO sees KATHY down right, stading with the PEOPLE leaving the theatre. HE rushes to keep HER out of LINAs sight, and takes KATHY off right.)

DEXTER(In a low voice, to SIMPSON)

You cant release this picture.

SIMPSONWeve got to. Were booked to open in six weeks all over the coun-try.

(Looking around for reassurance, with a forced smile.)

But maybe well get by. Lockwood and Lamont are such big stars.(His smile fades as PEOPLE come pouring out of thetheatre and THEY overhear the comments)

WOMAN(Leaving)

I never want to see that Lockwood and Lamont again.

ANOTHER WOMANThat was just awful.

ANOTHER PERSONThis is the worst picture ever made!

LINA(Brightly)

I liked it!

(THEY give her a look, and crestfallen,THEY join the CROWD exiting. As the CROWD disperses and the movie marquee flies out, Dons house comes into view. CROSS FADE)

Scene 13DONs house. It is a charming Spanish house, tasteful and elegant. Yet comfortable.

I-60At rise: DON, COSMO and KATHY are all seated, looking dejected. THEY are quiet for a moment.

DON(Surveying his finery in a state of acute depression.)

Well, take a last look at it. It will be up for auction in themorning.

COSMOYoure out of your mind. Its Saturday. No bank is going to for-close until Monday.

KATHY(Unconvincingly)

Oh, Don, it wasnt that bad!

DONNo. Theres no use kidding myself. Once they release The DuelingCavalier, Lockwood and Lamont are through.

KATHYWell, things went wrong with the sound. If youd just get thetechnical end straightened out...

DONNo, it wasnt that. Something happened to me tonight. I - I -well, everything you said about me is true, Kathy. Im no actor. Inever was. Just a log of dumb show, a shadow. I know that now.

COSMOWell, at least youre taking it lying down.

DONNo kidding, Cosmo. Did you ever see anything as idiotic as me onthat screen tonight?

COSMOYeah. How about Lina?

KATHYDon, youre not through.

COSMOWhy, of course not. Why, with your looks and figure, you coulddrive an ice wagon or shine shoes.

KATHYBlock hats...

COSMOSell pencils...

KATHYDig ditches...

I-65

KATHYYes, yes, yes.

COSMONo, no -- Yes! Wait a minute. Im about to be absolutely bril-liant. Kathy come here... Sing.

KATHYHuh?

COSMOSing!

GOOD MORNIN

KATHYGOOD MORNINWEVE TALKED THE WHOLE NIGHT THROUGH, etc.

COSMONow, Don, keep your eyes riveted on my face -- Watch my mouth.

(As KATHY sings, COSMO mouths in perfect synchronization with her singing and it looks as though the sound is coming from him)

COSMO(To DON)

Well...convincing?

DONEnchanting. Why?

COSMODont you get it? Use Kathys voice. Lina just moves her mouth,and Kathys voice comes over singing and talking for her.

KATHYThats wonderful.

DONNo -- no. I couldnt let you do it, Kathy.

KATHYWhy not?

DONBecause you wouldnt be seen. Youd be throwing away your owncareer.

KATHYIt has nothing to do with my career. Its only for the one pic-ture. The important thing now is to save The Dueling Cavalier,save Lockwood and Lamont.

I-66COSMO

Yeah.

DON

Well, if its only for this one picture.Do you think itll get by?

KATHYOf course it will.

COSMOSure. And its simple to work the numbers. All you gotta do isdance around Lina, and teach her how to bow.

DONAll right. Well go to R.F. and spring it on him in the morning.

KATHY(Kissing DON)

Don, youre a genius.

COSMOIm glad you thought of it.

KATHYOh, Cosmo.

(SHE kisses him and HE falls over backwards. THEYare all laughing. Sound of thunder is heard. As COSMO rises, DON and KATHY kiss)

COSMOWell, its three AM, in the morning. . .

(DON and KATHY keep kissing)Almost my bedtime. . .

(No response)I guess Ill

(Still no response. Sound of thunder is heard, lightning flashes)

COSMOGee, strange weather were having. . .

(DON and KATHY end kiss. As COSMO is about to address them, THEY start to kiss again. COSMO starts to exit)

COSMOBye, Don. Bye Don. . . Bye, Kathy. . .

(To himself)Bye, Cosmo.

(HE exits. DON and KATHY end kiss)

DONBye, Kathy.

I-67KATHY

Bye, Don.

BOTHBye Cosmo?

(THEY look around for him, but hes gone)

DONIll take you home.

(Sound of thunder is heard, lightning flashes)

KATHYBetter take care of that throat. Youre a big singing star now remember? This California dew is a little heavier than usualtonight.

DONReally? From where Im standing, the sun is shining all over theplace.

(More thunder is heard. THEY stand wrapped in each others arms for a moment as the scene changes behind THEM. Then THEY both rush off. Dons Apartment set rides offstage as the street set appears behind it. Cross fade)

Scene 14

Street ouside of KATHYs house.It is pouring rain.There is a lamppost lit. It is still late at night, so only a few people rush by in the rain., ONE with an umbrella, ANOTHER with a newspaper over his head.

At Rise: If possible, DONs white limo will be driven out. If not, a headlight effect will indicate the arrival of his car with appropriate sound. THEY enter. HE has an umbrella to cover both of them. HE escorts her up to her door and kisses her. HE watches her go in. HE walks downstage, reaches out and feels the rain. Its like heavenly dew. HE motions for his car to drive off.

HE is euphoric. HE starts strolling and singing.

II-69ACT TWO

Entracte

Optional Pantomime

A cut-down version of the set of The Dueling Cavalier (from Act One, Scene Six). STAGEHANDS, CREW and PLAYERS are in the process of filming. LINA sits on bench center, DEXTER preparing to direct her. There is a screen, diagonally behind LINA. KATHY stands on the other side of screen, before a standing mike. COSMO and SOUND ENGINEER stand by wing.

As the music starts, curtain rises on the scene. DEXTER signals to COSMO, SOUND ENGINEER runs off.COSMO then signals back to both DEXTER and KATHY, DEXTER cues CAMERAMAN and LINA, and THEY start to film a take. LINA mimes talking. COSMO conducts KATHY, who simultaneously mimes talking as well. After a moment of filming, SOUND ENGINEER runs on signaling cut. Everybody stops, LINA has her face powdered. SOUND ENGINEERmoves KATHYs microphone closer. HE then runs off.

This all happens rapidly, to fast-tempo music.

COSMO signals back to both DEXTER and KATHY for the second take. DEXTER cues CAMERAMAN and LINA.THEY start to film again as before, with LINA and KATHY miming synchronized dialogue. After a moment of filming, SOUND ENGINEER runs on again signaling cut. Everybody stops.

SOUND ENGINEER moves KATHYs microphone farther away bumping into screen separating KATHY from LINA. Screen falls over, knocking LINA off bench and causing pandemonium. Blackout as music ends.Lights up on Act Two.

Scene One

R. F. SIMPSONS OFFICE. It is mainly an area DSR with a large desk and appropriate accoutrements for the Hollywood mogul.

II-69a

At rise: SIMPSON is standing behind his desk. COSMO and DEXTER are laying out the scheme.

SIMPSONWhy thats wonderful! Thats wonderful!

(Rises)Now look, well keep the whole thing a secret until were ready torelease, just in case it doesnt come off. But Im a little wor-ried about Lina. She doesnt like Miss Selden. There might befireworks.

DEXTERIf she sees her, shell kill her.

COSMONow, now, I guarantee you Lina wont even know shes on the lot.

SIMPSONIm counting on you Cosmo. Now The Dueling Cavalier can besaved!

(Crossing around the desk)Lets see, The Dueling Cavalier with music. The title -- thetitles not right. We need a musical title. Well think, everybody,think!

(THEY pace around each other)

COSMOHow about The Dueling Mammy?!

SIMPSONNo!

(THEY pace again)

DEXTERHow does this grab you? ... The Dueling Sometimes SingingCavalier!

SIMPSON

No!

II-71COSMO

Oh, R.F.?...

SIMPSONYes?

COSMOGive me a raise.

DEXTER(Laughing)

A raise? Why thats the most ridiculous...

SIMPSON-- Youve got it! --

DEXTER-- Very good, Cosmo.

(BLACKOUT

On the blackout, the desk unit rides off stage right as we simultaneously move into:

Scene 2

Recording Stage. The main screen for playback is center stage. There is a SOUND ENGINEER working ina booth stage left. There is a standing microphonejust left of the screen.

Note: To reduce the technical requirements for this scene,the film can be suggested by a strobelight projected at the 4th Wall, the entire scene being played towards the audience. No image is actually seen. LINAs voice should be pre-recorded and amplified for playback. KATHYs voice should be live.At rise: In the darkness we see a projected film image of LINA singing the last few lines of WouldYou from The Dancing Cavalier ... It is not pretty. As the lights come up we realize KATHY is preparing to record her voice over LINAs.KATHY isstanding at the mike studying LINAs image. DON isstanding downstage left, watching.

DONAll right, Kathy. Just a test.

(HE nods to the SOUND ENGINEER)

SOUND ENGINEERReady

(The film appears again on screen, without audio)

II-72KATHY

(Singing to LINAs lip movements)AND WOULD YOU DARE TO SAYLETS DO THE SAME AS THEYI WOULD, WOULD YOU.

DON(To ENGINEER)

Hows it look?

ENGINEERGreat, thatll be great...Okay, Kathy. You ready?

KATHYSure.

ENGINEERIll cue up the orchestra playback and well record the whole num-ber.

(MUSIC In. It becomes obvious during the song thatKATHY is singing it to DON and that THEY are very much in love.)

Number: WOULD YOUHE HOLDS HER IN HIS ARMSWOULD YOU, WOULD YOUHE TELLS HER OF HER CHARMSWOULD YOU, WOULD YOU

THEY MET AS YOU AND IAND THEY WERE ONLY FRIENDSBUT BEFORE THE STORY ENDS...

HELL KISS HER WITH A SIGHWOULD YOU, WOULD YOUAND IF THE GIRL WERE IWOULD YOU, WOULD YOU

AND WOULD YOU DARE TO SAYLETS DO THE SAME AS THEYI WOULD, WOULD YOU.

AND WOULD YOU DARE TO SAYLETS DO THE SAME AS THEYI WOULD, WOULD YOU.

(DON and KATHY kiss. COSMO enters and crosses to them)

II-73COSMO

That was great.(No response, as DON and KATHY are still kissing)

Enough already!(THEY stop kissing. COSMO starts to look towards ENGINEER, but does a quick take to make sure DON and KATHY are not kissing again. Then, to ENGINEER)

COSMOAll set in there?

ENGINEERRight.

(Lights darken and on the screen we see LINA and DON in 18th century costume)

LINA (on screen)

Nothing can keep us apart. Our love will last til the starsturn cold.

COSMOAll right, Kathy. Go ahead.

(The same scene comes on the screen silent. KATHYsays the line, matching LINAs lip movements exactly, speaking into the microphone)

KATHYNothing can keep us apart. Our love will last til the starsturn cold.

COSMOPlayback.

(The same scene comes on, with KATHYs voice now perfectly synchronized)

KATHY(on screen)

Nothing can keep us apart. Our love will last til the starsturn cold.

COSMOThats great! Perfect! Cut!

(Work lights come on. COSMO hands microphone to SOUND ENGINEER, who exits left. COSMO goes into sound booth.)

II-76

DONOf course. What do you think?

LINA(The realization sinking in)

They cant do that!

DONIts already done.

LINABut no one knows about it yet...

DONThey will. Theres a whole publicity campaign being planned.

LINA(Outraged)

Publicity! They cant make a fool out of Lina Lamont! They cantmake a laughing stock out of Lina Lamont! What do they think I am?Dumb or something? Why, I make more money than...than...CalvinCoolidge...put together.

(SHE stamps out; there is a moment of uneasy silence. DON and KATHY both look at COSMO)

COSMONow, dont start worrying.

DON(To KATHY)

No, dont start worrying.

COSMO(Slowly)

I think Id better go see R.F. Before Lina gets there. . . (HE starts off casually, but is running by the time HE reaches the wings)

KATHYShe really cant do anything, can she?

DONJust relax. . . and come here.

(HE takes he in his arms. SHE is about to speak again. HE puts his finger to her lips.)

II-80LINA (Continued)

WHATS WRONG WITH ME?WHY ALL THIS CONFUSIONIM QUITE A GIRLA REAL CULTURED PEARLWHATS WRONG WITH ME?

I AINT SO DUMBTHIS PEACH AINT A PLUMWHATS WRONG WITH HIM?WHAT COULD POSSIBLY BE WRONG WITH HIM?TELL ME WHATS WRONG WITH ME?NOTHIN!

(BLACKOUT. LINAs Dressing Room rides off left as SIMPSONs office rides on right and the studio lot scrim flies in behind.. We move into:)

Scene 4

R.F. SIMSPONs office.At rise: R.F. is pacing in front of his desk. DEXTER stands deep in thought. COSMO enters hurriedly.

COSMOYou sent for me, boss?

SIMPSONWheres Don?

COSMOI think hes working with Kathy Selden.

SIMPSONSo thats the problem. Hurricane Lina just stormed through here.Good thing I was in the inner office, casting. So Lina found out.Shes upset?

(DEXTER and COSMO exchange glances)

COSMOA little.

DEXTER(Changing the subject)

Say, R.F., have you seen the new footage of the Would You num-ber?

SIMPSONThat Selden girl is great, no matter what Lina says.

(COSMO and DEXTER look relieved)When the picture is released, Im going to give her a big build-up! How much is there left to do?

II-81COSMO

Were still trying to crack that big production number, boss.

SIMPSON(Pulling a brilliant idea from the skies)

Tap dancing.

DEXTERHuh.

SIMPSONWeve got to have tap dancing!

DEXTERWe cant have tap dancing. The picture takes place during theFrench Revolution.

SIMPSON(Determined)

Weve got to have tap dancing!

COSMOWeve got to have tap dancing!

SIMPSON(To DEXTER)

See.COSMO

Uhm.

(HE thinks, with exaggerated movements. Then, HEs got it. HE describes his idea with mounting excitement)

COSMOHows this. We throw a modern section into the picture. The herois a young Broadway hoofer. Right?

SIMPSONRight!

COSMOHe sings and dances. Right?

SIMPSONRight!

COSMOOne night backstage, hes reading The Tale of Two Cities betweennumbers, see? A sandbag falls on his head and viola! hedreams hes back in the French Revolution. Right?

(DEXTER shakes his head, as if to indicate it willnever work)

II-82SIMPSON

(After a pause)Sen-saytional!!!

DEXTERExcuse me, Cosmo. But how are you going to do that?

COSMOClose your eyes close your eyes and imagine this. . .

(THEY close their eyes)

Number: BROADWAY MELODYCOSMO

DONT BRING A FROWN TO OLD BROADWAYYOUVE GOT TO CLOWN ON BROADWAY

(Velour flies out)YOURE TROUBLES THERE ARE OUT OF STYLE

(Desk rides off right; DEXTER and SIMPSON exit)CAUSE BROADWAY ALWAYS WEARS A SMILE

(Lights bleed through scrim)A MILLION HEARTS BEAT QUICKER THERE.A MILLION LIGHTS THEY FLICKER THERENO CLOUDS OF GREY ON THAT GREAT WHITE WAY

THATS THE BROADWAY MELODY.(The scrim flies out revealing the CHORUS standingin three groups in front of the lit Broadway drop)

GOTTA DANCE(GROUP #1 DANCE BREAK)

GOTTA DANCE(GROUP # 2 DANCE BREAK)

CHORUSGOTTA DANCEGOTTA DANCEGOTTA DANCEGOTTA DANCEGOTTA DANCE

(DANCE SECTION. THEY chant)BROADWAY RHYTHM, BROADWAY RHYTHMBROADWAY RHYTHM, BROADWAY RHYTHMBROADWAY RHYTHM, BROADWAY RHYTHM

(DON dances on from up left)DON

BROADWAY RHYTHM, ITS GOT MEEVERYBODY DANCEBROADWAY RHYTHM, ITS GOT MEEVERYBODY DANCE

II-84COSMO

(Huffing and puffing, as if HEs acted out the entire number)

Well, boss, what do you think?

SIMPSONIts a little hard to imagine. Could you tell it to me again?

(COSMO looks at him and faints dead away from exhaustion.)

(BLACKOUT. A spot pickups Dora Bailey downleft)

DORA(At microphone)

Hello, out there! This is Dora Bailey talking to you in front ofGraumanns Chinese Theatre in Hollywood. What a night! Every staris at the premiere of Monumental Pictures The Dancing Cavalier.Once again, we reunite those immortal screen lovers Don Lockwoodand Lina Lamont in their first all talking, all singing, all danc-ing musical romance. It is an event that will go down in cinemahistory.

(BLACKOUT)

Scene 5

Outside Graumanns Chinese Theatre, Hollywood Boulevard. The lights comes up D.R. where R. F. SIMPSON and DEXTER are waiting in the wings while the film is in progress.

DEXTERTheyre loving it, R.F. Theyre loving it.

SIMPSONOf course theyre loving it. This is an R.F. Simpson production.

(ROD enters reading a newspaper, aghast. SIMPSON and DEXTER notice him, and wait to hear what HE has to say)

SIMPSON(Finally)

Well?

RODMonumental Pictures wildly enthusiastic over Linas singing pipesand dancing stems.

II-85SIMPSON

I never said that!

RODPremiere tomorrow night to reveal Lina Lamont big musical tal-ent. Boss you cant pull a switch like this on the publicitydepartment! We were all prepared for the campaign on KathySelden.

SIMPSONNow, wait a second I dont know anything about this. I hadnothing to do with it!

RODWell, what are we going to do?

(LINA flounces in right, dressed in evening gown)

LINANothing! You wouldnt want to call the papers and say Lina Lamontis a big fat liar!

SIMPSONLina! Did you send that stuff out?

LINA(Very pleased with herself)

I gave an exclusive story to every newspaper in town.

SIMPSONLina, youll never get away with this. Rod, call the newspapersback.

LINAI wouldnt do that if I were you, R.F.

SIMPSONDont tell me what to do, Lina.

LINAWhat do you think I am? Dumb or somethin? I had my lawyers goover my contract.

SIMPSONContract?

LINAYeah -- and I control my publicity -- not you.

II-86SIMPSON

(Angrily)Yeah?

LINAYeah! The studios responsible for every word printed about me.And if I dont like it, I can sue.

(pronounced syoo)

SIMPSON(Shaken)

What?

LINAI can syoo! If you tell the papers about Kathy Selden, it would be

(Very grandly, like an elocution student)Determentaland deleterious to my caareer. I could syoo you forthe whole studio!

(Hands HIM a contract open to a certain page)

SIMPSON(On the defensive)

Thats a lot of nonsense.

LINAIt says so right here.

(Shows HIM; HE reads to himself)Contract dated June 8, 1925 -- paragraph thirty-four -- subdivision letter A -- the party of the first part -- Thats me!

SIMPSONYou win, Lina. Satisfied?

(ROD and DEXTER exit right. LINA stops SIMPSON)

LINAOnly one little thing more.

SIMPSON(Crossing back)

Yeah? Want me to change the name of the stuido to Lamont PicturesIncorporated?

LINAOh R.F., youre cute. No, I was just thinkin...

(Crossing left)Youve given this girl a part in Zeldas picture, and youre gonnagive her an even bigger one in the next...

SIMPSONSo?

II-90LINA

(Very coyly)Hmmm. thats what you think!

RODCome on. Come on! Theyre tearing the house apart. Go on. Takeanother bow. Go on!

(LINA runs out to stage for another bow and DON follows angrily)

COSMO(To SIMPSON)

Linas getting a little carried away, isnt she, boss?

SIMPSON(Uncomfortably)

Yes. Yes, she is.(DON and LINA re-enter from stage)

DON(To LINA; bursting with rage)

Listen, you boa constrictor. Dont get any fancy ideas about thefuture.

(To SIMPSON)Tell her, R.F.

LINA(Cutting in savagely as SIMPSON fumbles for words)

Never mind, R.F. Listen to that applause out there! Its for me!For Lina Lamont! Wait till the money starts rolling in! Youre notgonna give all that up cause a little nobody who nobody ever heardnothing about dont wanna be my voice.

ROD(Quickly; to the befuddled SIMPSON)

Shes got something there, boss. Its a gold-mine! You got nochoice.

KATHY(Cutting through)

Part of that choice is mine, Miss Lamont! I just wont do it!

LINA(With heavy sarcasm)

You got a five-year contract, honey. Youll do what R.F. says!

DON(Angry and incredulous, to SIMPSON)

Well, whats the matter, R.F.? Why dont you tell her off?

II-91SIMPSON

I. . . I. . . dont know. . . I. . . Im confused. . . This thingis so big. . . I. . .

RODCome on! Theyre tearing the house apart! Go on, go on. Takeanother bow.

(DON and LINA go on stage, LINA flouncing out triumphantly and DON in a black rage)

COSMO(To SIMPSON with quiet contempt)

I once gave you a cigar. Can I have it back?

SIMPSONNow wait a minute, Cosmo...

(DON and LINA re-enter from stage)

LINA(With wild ecstasy)

Listen to them. Im an avalanche!(To KATHY, in a taunting, six-year old manner)

Ha, Selden. Youre stuck!

DON(To SIMPSON with icy fury)

Look, R.F., if this happens, you can just get yourself anotherboy. I wont stand for it.

SIMPSON(Pleadingly)

Oh, Don!

KATHY(Frightened)

Don!

DONI mean it. Youll make your Lockwood-Lamont Pictures withoutLockwood.

LINA(With superb, sweeping contempt)

So, who needs you? Ill be twice as big without you! Theyd cometo see me if I played opposite a monkey.

SIMPSONJust a minute, Lina. Dons a smash, too. Im still running thisstudio.

LINAIm not so sure. Youre the big Mr. Producer, always runningthings. Running me! Well, from no on Im running me. as far as Imconcerned, Im running the studio!