Welcome to the second issue of The Sims Weekly World News. I hope that with each issue it’s getting better, both visually and content wise. From the very inception of The Sims Weekly World News many years ago when Hot Date was released I have always wanted it to be a magazine more than a web site and I had no idea, especially in those early days while I was learning how to make websites, how to make something look like a magazine on the web. Now there are so many tools to do anything and everything you could want to do on the web. I am happy that the look and feel of a magazine is finally possible. With this issue I am going to start experimenting with adding some other things to the magazine outside of the tabloid stories I am so fond of writing. Feedback is always welcome and appreciated. While everything that I do related to The Sims is for my own amusement I have decided to share it with everyone. This means that I want to know if those who check out my stuff find it enjoyable and if there is something that I could do to improve on what I am doing. Putting something together like The Sims Weekly World News has now become is a learning experience for me and any guidance, hints, tips and ideas anyone is willing to share is most welcome. Enjoy. Georga

LOCAL CITIZEN BLOWS UP BARNACLE BAY ART GALLERY

Late Wednesday night Barnacle Bay Police Department received a number of phone calls from concerned residents reporting what sounded like a series of explosions coming from the art gallery. Officers were finally forced to take a break from their weekly donut party and investigate. “Originally we didn’t pay any mind to it,” Police Chief O’Hare said. “Residents report all kinds of craziness that turns out to be nothing - everything from swamp gas to double rainbows. We really do get calls for everything slightly out of the ordinary because the sims around here are paranoid and crazy.” It took the BBPD so long to respond to the calls that the culprit was long gone by time they arrived. Police arrived on the scene to learn that a rare piece of art, a bench and two toilets had been blown up. “When we arrived the place was a mess. There was burn marks everywhere from the explosions. The piece of art that was destroyed is reported to be worth ten simoleons. It doesn’t sound like there was any big loss there. The bench that was destroyed was worth more, as were the toilets,” Officer Davidson, who headed up the investigation, told us.

Following the incident the BBPD requested the security camera footage to find out exactly what happened after the art museum closed. Upon review of the footage the suspect turned out to be Jake McSniffawitt, a local inventor. The devices that were used to blow up each of the items were standard bombs that all inventors carry to expedite scrap collection. “Mr. McSniffawitt has been fined a total of 2544 simoleons for the incident and has been banned from the art museum,” Davidson reported. “He wasn’t arrested because he doesn’t pose any sort of threat. He’s just the typical inventor looking for material for his inventions.” Barnacle Bay laws state that the only places that detonation of items is allowed are Grady’s Junkyard and on private property that is owned by the person doing the demolition. Residents are upset that it took the Barnacle Bay Police Department so long to respond. “They didn’t take our calls seriously,” Drew Aston, an up and coming director, told us. “The art museum could have caught fire and burned down while they stuffed their faces with pastry. Those better have been damn good donuts.” We attempted to contact Jake McSniffawitt about the incident but he was busy exploring one of about 24 holes he has dug in his back yard. The gallery will be closed until further notice while repairs are made.

CELEBRITY ENGAGEMENT

Thanks to the paparazzi trespassing on private property and taking pictures, we learned that Screaming Mimes bass player, Gunnar Leeson, proposed to fellow band mate and keyboard player, Alice Simon in their backyard. No further details are available and both Gunnar and Alice were unavailable for comment.

YESTERDAYS NEWS IS YESTERDAYS NEWS

It has been reported that the popular garage band, Yesterdays News, has disbanded. The band sites low attendance rates by fans at rehearsals as part of the reason.

“We feel that people just aren’t interested in more. We used to have several dozen people show up each day to our garage while we were practicing. The last couple weeks it’s only been three or four people.” Lead singer Jason Jason said. Grunts, the guitarist of the band, adds, “We also feel it’s time that we moved on. Each of us has other interests that we would like to pursue. Personally, over the last two years bug collecting has taken a back seat to the band. We thought we were going to make it big but we never made it out of the garage.”

HUNDREDS OF SIMS GET VACCINATED

It’s not the arrival of the flu vaccines to Sim City suburbs that have sims flocking to get vaccinated this cold and flu season. It’s a disease that has previously been eradicated and hasn’t been seen in Sim city or any of it’s suburbs in well over five years –the dreaded Guinea Pig Virus. Local doctors are baffled by the sudden request for Guinea Pig Virus vaccines. “We haven’t seen the disease in a number of years. There is no explanation as to why people are requesting the vaccine.” Doctor James said. “The thing is, it’s not just one or two sims being over cautious, it’s hundreds of sims. We have had to hold special shot clinics and order more of the vaccine to keep up with the demands.”

When asked if he was being a bit extreme in calling the sudden vaccine demand mass hysteria, he replied, “What else would you call it? Why would almost every sim in and around Sim City suddenly want vaccinated for a disease that hasn’t been seen in years? There is no other explanation for it.” We asked a handful of sims standing in line that the most recent shot clinic why they were getting vaccinated, and the answer was the same regardless of who we asked. “Despite what we are being told, the Guinea Pig virus wasn’t eradicated. It’s back and it’s being transmitted through our computers. It spreads from computer to computer then the Simbots get it. Once the Simbots get it, it’s passed onto sims when they are repairing the Simbots. From there it’s airborne and if we don’t get vaccinated there is going to be a major outbreak again and sims are going to die.”

A joint effort between Landgraab and Fort Gnome scientists put an end to the Guinea Pig virus in 2004 and the scientists involved won a Nobel Sim prize for their efforts. Since then there has not been an outbreak of any serious disease in any Sim community. So why the sudden demand for vaccines? Landgraab scientists and Fort Gnome personal are at just as much of a loss as local doctors. “Who knows why sims do what they do.” Admiral Dantes said. “We are putting together a research team to see if we can come up with a reason for this unprecedented mass Hysteria.”

After being presented with this information Mayor Nelson of Sunset Valley issued an official statement letting sims know that he was setting up educational workshops that will be free to public to discuss myths and facts about computer viruses. “What we need here is education, not vaccines. I take that back, what we need to do is outlaw computers and other technology. It’s painfully obvious that sims have are not properly equip to deal with today’s technology. Mass education needs to happen. We shouldn’t have this kind of erroneous information being passed about and taken as truth. A program about computers, viruses, Simbots and propagation needs to be introduced into the schools starting with kindergarten.”

A DIRTY BUT PROFITABLE NEW HOBBY

.

Sims have found a new hobby…rummaging through their neighbors garbage. It’s not personal information they are looking for. They aren’t looking to find out what their neighbors had for dinner or what kind of porn they watch either. They are looking for rare minerals like woohooium. There have been numerous reports of valuables being found in neighborhood trashcans. The odd thing is, these are items no one reports having thrown away. Everything from rare seeds and

minerals to stuffed bears and VR goggles have mysteriously appeared in trash cans and sims want these things. Sims are even willing to risk public humiliation in order go dumpster diving in order to find these treasures. What do they do with them after they are found and cleaned up? It depends on the sim and the item. Seeds are usually planted and gems sent to be cut. Other items are sometimes kept, gifted or taken to the consignment store to be sold. Some sims find it annoying that others are going through their trash cans late at night and wish it would stop while others claim that it’s a harmless hobby and a great why to spend time despite the smell. Ironically, parents are encouraging their children interested in fishing through others trash to peruse the interest because it’s become the most powerful bargaining tool in the history of parenting to get children to bathe. Grady is unconcerned about all this rummaging putting the junkyard out of business. “There is always going to be crap that people don’t want. That’s what we are here for.”

A number of new properties have gone on the market over the last week, both residential and commercial. All of these properties can be downloaded at the Sims Weekly World News website located at: www.simsweeklyworldnews.info

This strip mall made up of a bookstore, grocery store, spa and restaurant was put up for sale because running it cuts into the time that the owner has to play World of Warcraft. Located on a 50X25 lot. Price: $9,723

This is the perfect starter home for the sim starting off on his or her own. Has one bathroom and loft bedroom as well as plenty of space to store those empty pizza boxes. As an added bonus, it reminds may people of a mushroom cluster. Lot size: 25X25 Furnished cost: $16,235 Unfurnished cost: $14,170

The Cage is an exclusive nightclub of questionable origins. It’s popularity never took off but it makes the perfect tax write off. 30X30 Lot $27,096

This two-story home is ideal for the young family on a limited budget who isn’t interested in having a lot of lawn to mow. Two bedrooms, 2 baths located on a 20X15 lot. If you find later you need to expand your living space, the sky is the limit! Furnished cost: $18,931 Unfurnished cost: $16,688

We won’t like. Here at the Sims Weekly World news we don’t know jack about fashion but we do know a fashion trend when we see one. That is the only explanation for the popularity of purple hair. From what we can tell the trend started with Screaming Mimes drummer Mikita Simon. So much for having an original look.

A Sims Life is the first comic, that we know of, to be made using The Sims. We thought that we would share the first nine installments here. The comic updates every Monday-Wednesday-Friday and can be found at www.simsweeklyworldnews.info/ASimsLife where it is much easier to read.

Junk and scrap wanted. Will take all junk you do not want. This includes broken furniture and appliances, unwanted electronics and rocks. Call Jake at 555-221-9004 Will pick up. Chess Championship to be held this weekend in Barnacle Bay. Flier posted in the library with details. Woman Seeking Man for fun times. Enjoys table dancing, eating pizza and playing video games. Must be physically fit, have own car and not live with your mother. Respond with picture to box #390 Lost clownfish. Reward. 555-221-3625. Hogan’s Diner now hiring. Apply in person. For Sale. Huge collection of space rocks. No longer have the space so I need to part with them. All sizes, no duplicates. 555-221-8748 Clinical Trial – Landgraab Science Facility is holding a clinical trial to test anti-psychotropic drugs used to cure mass hysteria. Must be in good health with no prior mental illness. Compensation provided. Visit our website for more details. www.Landgraabscience.org

Miss Cleo’s Psychic Readings – Call me now! 1-900-2525 Man Seeking Woman – Looking for that special someone for long term relationship. Must know how to cook and be willing to clean and do laundry. No party animals. Reply with picture to box #521 Art Wanted – Barnacle Bay Art Gallery is looking to showcase local artists of all ages, genders and art ability. You don’t have to be able to paint a masterpiece to go on display. Bring your art to the gallery between 10am and 5pm for consideration. Campaign Workers Needed! If you ever wanted to make a difference in your community but don’t have the charisma or political drive, now is your chance. Join Jessica Steele’s campaign team. No experience necessary. 555-224-4873 or visit www.jsteele4mayor.org

GERBITS PICK OF THE WEEK

This is a new idea that we are trying out. It’s where our mascot, Gerbits, picks his favorite creation of the week from the entire Sims Community. How do we know what his favorite creation is? We print out pictures of everything that has been created and the one that he doesn’t eat is picked. How else would a llama let us know what he wanted published? Don’t judge him. Gerbits pick of the week comes from Mod the Sims (www.modthesims.info) and is from a creator known as Ung999. She calls this lovely house Day by the

Sea. Vist Mod the Sims, check it out and download it! You can’t go wrong, it comes highly recommended by a llama!