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Session #7: Building
Emotional Intelligence
Richard Brynteson, Ph.D.
Saturday, Jan. 11 11 a.m. – 12 p.m.
Arbor Lakes
Dr. Richard Brynteson
Dr. Richard Brynteson is a professor, executive coach, innovation consultant, author and public
speaker. He teaches in the MBA program at Concordia University, where he has been a
professor of 26 years. He has published six books, on business subjects like innovation and
behavioral economics and has worked with companies on innovation projects in Africa, Asia and
the United States. He has only had to bribe his way out of jail once.
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Emotional Intelligence
• Dr. Richard Brynteson
• Concordia University
• Minnesota Hospital Association
• January 2020
Emotional Intelligence
• EQ is about:
– Awareness of our own emotions and using them appropriately
– Awareness of others’ emotions
– Managing relationships
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Goals of this workshop:
•To give you tools to improve your EQ
•To inspire you to see that building your EQ is the “homework for the rest of your life.”
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Five Factors of Emotional Competence
• Personal Competence
– self-awareness
– self-regulation
– motivation
• Social Competence
– empathy
– social skills
Self-Awareness
“knowing one’s internal states, preferences, resources, and intuitions”
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How do you want to show up?
We must
accurately weigh
in on our strengths
and our
weaknesses…and
laugh….
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Self-Awareness
• Identify emotions and put them into words
• Observe oneself while functioning
• Think about ones’ thinking
Without self-awareness…
• Easier to blame others
• Lack of self-correcting
• Difficulty choosing our responses
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Try this!
• Practice mentoring.
• Find a mentor.
• Invite feedback from others.
• Assume their intent is positive.
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Between stimulus and response,
there is a pause.
Therein lies freedom.
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Adversity
Resilience:6-7-23-47-128-903-1440
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Pillars of Resiliency
• Life change is possible.
• Thinking is key to boosting resilience.
• Accurate thinking is the key.
• Refocus on human strengths.
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Avoiding Thinking Traps
• Personalizing: reflex tendency to attribute problems to one’s doing.
• Emotional reasoning. Drawing conclusions based upon one’s own emotional state.
• Over generalizing. Test your assumptions
• Tunnel vision: seeing the negative vs. the positive. Selective attention.
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Negative self talk is damaging
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Self-Regulation
• Trustworthiness
• Adaptability
• Innovativeness
• Optimism
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Empathy
• Developing others
• Conflict management
• Team building
• Political awareness
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Developing Others
• Think of three close associates.
• What could help these individuals grow, personally and professionally?
• How could you broach this subject gently with these people?
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What’s the Difference?
Conversation: Sharing information and ideas in order
to express one’s views without any intended impact
on the listener.
Discussion: Sharing information and ideas in order to
accomplish a specific task.
Debate: Sharing information and ideas in an effort to
bring others into agreement or alignment with one’s
position or belief.
Dialogue: Sharing ideas, information, experiences
and assumptions for the purposes of personal and
collective learning.
Try this!
•Separate intent from impact.
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Teamwork,
at its best
Practicing Empathy:
• Realize that emotions impact such measurable goals as
productivity and safety.
• Empathy means recognizing, and responding
appropriately to, the emotions of others.
• By expressing empathy, you also create empathy in others.
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Try this!
• Speak their name; look into their eyes.
• Show interest in them as people
• Practice inquiry and initiate conversations
• Practice listening without interruption
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“Happy people remember more good
events than actually happened
, and they forget more of the bad events.
Depressed people, in contrast, are accurate about both.”
NARRATIVES!
The stories we tell ourselves about our
own lives eventually become our lives.
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Social Intelligence
• We are actors in each other’s dramas, whether we like it or not.
• Our emotions play on each others’ emotions and physical well-being.
Ladder of Inference
–Observable data and experiences
–I select data from what I observe
–I add meanings (based upon mental models)
–I make assumptions based upon the meanings I added.
–I draw conclusions.
–I adopt beliefs about the world.
–I take actions based on my beliefs.
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•Action Planning! What 3 things can you do in the next month to improve your EQ?
