Session 11: Master Your Psychology, Part V, Subconscious ......[Cameen’s] feeling more confident, anyone else feeling more confident, more solid in your coaching? I’d like to hear

RAPID COACHING ACADEMY: PROFESSIONAL COACH TRAINING SYSTEM, VERSION 2.0

Session 11: Master Your Psychology, Part V, Subconscious Tools of Influence Christian: Welcome, to the Rapid Coaching Academy. This is session

number 11, which is subconscious tools of influence, part of the mastering your psychology series. I think it’s part five of that. Tonight we’re going to be talking about how to influence our clients on an unconscious or subconscious level and I’ll be actually using the word subconscious and unconscious interchangeably. They mean pretty much the same thing. Unconscious also has another meaning which means being asleep or being knocked out somehow but also shares the same meaning as subconscious so I’ll probably flip back and forth between the two and just get the idea that I’m talking about your subconscious mind. How is everybody doing tonight?

Participant: Great. Participant: Excellent. Participant: Fantastic. Participant: Awesome. Christian: Out of your mind wonderful is how everyone doing tonight. Participant: Whoo. Participant: Ya-hoo. Participant: Yeah. Christian: Yeah, look at that, look how quickly we can ramp up the energy just

by asking some crazy questions. Participant: Do you feel better now? Christian: Yeah I do feel a lot better now. I do, actually I feel great. Thank

you. Anyone who is not feeling as crazy out of your mind wonderful as everybody else on the call? Anybody who is not feeling spectacular.

Participant: Sorry, I have to admit I’m home, I’ve been home the last three days

with the flu.


Christian: I can hear it in your voice. Participant: But, I’m grateful for the energy. Christian: Good. Let’s all send her tons of good energy. Participant: Thank you. Christian: Excellent. I see you healing faster and faster just as you’re sitting

there listening to this class. Participant: Phone hugs. Christian: Phone hugs. A group hug with her in the middle. Participant: Thank you. Participant: That’s the best kind, no germs get passed along. Christian: You guys are so fun. I think it will be very sad for me when this

program is over so we’ll definitely have to come up with something new that everybody can be a part of and play within. I have something in mind which I mentioned I think on the last call so I’ll keep you posted on that. I just want to check in and hear how are things going? How’s your coaching going? How are you feeling as a coach? You’ve had weeks and weeks of experiencing now practice coaching. Are you feeling more confident now, are you feeling more valuable as a coach now? How’s your coaching going and how are you feeling as a coach?

Participant: I do feel a lot better as a coach. I’ve been doing it as a natural

extension of myself more so than having clients and I actually have a new client doing the free session tomorrow morning so I feel very good about that.

Christian: Yeah. I believe you have the Free Sessions That Sell program

right? Participant: Yes. Christian: Did you get the new updated field guide? Participant: I will make sure I get that tonight.


Christian: Print that out, it’s so good. Very good. I worked hard on that. Good. And, I definitely want you to get a new client. That would be fantastic. I would love to hear that good news next time.

Participant: She is a really great coach, having been coached by her for the last

couple of weeks. She’s really great. You are, you’re amazing. Christian: Okay. Yeah. Anybody start using that prep form with your

coaching since the last week or two? Well, if you haven’t been using it, start using it or maybe you’ve been using them right along and that’s okay too. [Cameen’s] feeling more confident, anyone else feeling more confident, more solid in your coaching? I’d like to hear that everybody is.

Participant: Well, that’s a definite for me. Every coaching session that I’ve had

in the last two or three months since we started this program has been getting better and better all the time. I’m getting in to different areas that I never thought I would get in to. I’m trying new things and feeling really positive about it.

Christian: Great. Awesome. You’re actually using your stuff with real paying

clients, right? Participant: Yes. Christian: So that’s extra good. Participant: Yeah. Christian: Fantastic. How about anyone else? I’d love to hear how is your

coaching going, do you feel better about your ability to coach? Anybody feel less confident which could happen because sometimes when you don’t know what you don’t know and then all of a sudden you learn all these different things you could be doing in your coaching, sometimes that can be a little scary and you might start worrying about if you’re doing everything right and things like that. Anybody feel less confident? So everybody feels at least as confident it not more so?

Participant: Yes. Participant: Definitely. Participant: Another thing, I had my very first client, actually I had two clients in

the last week ago that were signed up for three months that signed up again for an additional six months.


Christian: Wow. Participant: That’s awesome. Christian: Wow. What did you do to have them sign up for six more months

instead of three more months? Participant: I told them that was the minimum. Participant: I made them. Christian: Where did you learn that? Participant: I wonder? Christian: Okay, good. All of you who are on this call that are thinking you

want to actually get paid for coaching and things like that, if you don’t have Free Sessions That Sell yet this is a big commercial for it right now because it is a really strong process and it’s people to sign up for longer and all that stuff. Good. I’m proud of you, very proud of you.

Participant: High five. Christian: Yeah, high five over the phone. Yee-haw. Excellent. So, we’re

going to do a quick thing here, if you can hear the sound of my voice say yes.

Participant: Yes. Participant: Yes. Christian: If you feel more confident as a coach than you did when we first

started this program say yes. Participant: Yes. Participant: Yes. Christian: Okay, alright. That’s a lot of yeses even though a lot of you didn’t

speak up to tell me how much more confident you are right now. That’s okay. You can start thinking about how much more and more confident you are as we go through this call. In fact, this class in and of itself will make you more confident and probably double your confidence as a coach. The reason I say that is


because just hearing what I have to say will trigger things in your subconscious mind that will kick in new ways of thinking and ways of seeing yourself so that you feel that more solid, secure, certain and confident feeling inside of yourself when you’re coaching. You’ll also start feeling it more and more just as you go through everyday life in anything that you do. You’ll start feeling more and more confident now. How does that sound?

Participant: Excellent. Participant: Great. Participant: Awesome. Christian: Good. That’s a little taste of what’s to come here in our call. This

call is subconscious tools of influence. First of all I’m going to tell you a little bit about our subconscious mind and then I’m going to tell you a little bit about where influence fits in with working with clients because there are a lot of coach training companies and things like that would tell you that we shouldn’t be influencing our clients at all. I say not only should we be influencing our clients, we can’t help but influence them. We’re going to be influencing them whether we want to or not.

Okay, I’m jumping ahead here. First of all, what we’re going to do

is I’m going to tell you about your unconscious mind, we’ll talk about influencing our clients and we’ll talk about different ways that we already influence them and how to take control on how we influence our clients and you’ll be learning specific subconscious tools of influence. Tools and techniques to make the impact that we have on our clients even more powerful. Sound good?

Participant: Perfect. Christian: Okay. I’ll even teach you some magic words. Participant: That sounds like fun. Christian: Alright. I’m glad. You guys are so fun. Our unconscious mind how

it works is basically it takes everything in. So if you can imagine like right now your conscious mind is focused probably on the words I’m saying, the information that’s coming across from the words that I’m saying but your unconscious mind, your subconscious mind takes in everything. It takes in the words that I’m saying right now, it’s noticing the amount of light that’s in the room, it’s pumping your heart so that you stay alive, it’s causing you


to breathe, it’s noticing whatever is in front of you whatever you are looking at right now even if you’re not focused on what you’re looking at.

You might be kind of zoning out from your eye. The input is coming

in to your eye and you may not have even been focusing on it. You’re probably focusing on your ears and listening to me and this call but yet all this other information is coming in to our subconscious mind, everything comes in. There’s no filters to the subconscious mind, everything comes in to the subconscious mind. But, our conscious mind has filters and our conscious mind is deciding on what to focus on at any given moment. The conscious mind is making decisions, you’re making decisions.

I would say there’s probably a range of consciousness, right? Like

you just know, “Hey I want to be on this call.” You’re not thinking, “I need to listen right now versus looking out the window.” That decision was already made by getting on this call. We aren’t consciously aware of everything that is happening at any given moment. We only have so much attention. We talk about attention span which is how long you’re able to maintain your attention on any given thing but our attention in and of itself can only be focused basically on one thing at a time. Sometimes people talk about multitasking where you can kind of be brushing your teeth while going to the bathroom, or putting your contacts in while flossing.

But, for the most part we can really only focus consciously on one

thing at a time. Maybe a little bit more than one thing, maybe we’re having a conversation while watching TV or something but for the most part our conscious attention is limited, our unconscious takes in everything. That’s number one. That’s a little background about how our subconscious mind works.

The next thing I want to talk about is that we are always influencing

people whether we intend to or not. Even if we don’t mean to influence people we do. Children model our behavior more than our words. We say, “Do as I say not as I do.” But, children are going to do as you do. For the most part they are going to pick up on your behaviors and model many of those. We’re influencing them just by who we are. We influence our friends just by who we are, by how we behave, by the questions that we ask, by the phrases that we use. You may notice that as you hang around someone new if they have something that they say a lot of the time, like if they say, “Far out,” and they said far out all the time then you might start noticing yourself saying, “Oh, man that’s really far out.”


We pick up on things. We pick up on that stuff. We don’t necessarily consciously decide to start saying far out or saying cool dude or whatever, we just start saying it. We start asking ourselves the kinds of questions that we hear other people ask. We just pick up on a lot of things unconsciously without even anybody trying to influence us. We’re influenced by things without being consciously aware of it and we influence others without consciously being aware of how we influence them. We can’t help it. It’s not something we can stop doing. It’s just something that we can be more deliberate with.

Now, as coaches we do want to influence our clients. Now again,

there are a lot of coaching schools that will tell you that you need to ask questions in a certain way and you should never give advice and all this other stuff. I don’t know what happens in all the other coaching schools, all I know is that the truth is we can’t help but influence people so we mind as well influence our clients for their good. If we’re going to be influencing them anyway to a certain extent no matter what, we may as well influence them for their best.

We want to influence our clients in certain ways. We want them to

believe in themselves when they are doubting themselves. We want them to have positive expectations for what’s going to happen, for the results that they’re going to be able to produce. We want them to achieve their goals. We want them to see it is easy, we want them to see achieving their goals as something that is doable, that’s easy, that’s achievable without being unrealistic of course. We want them to see it as something that feels good and is achievable. We don’t want it to seem like something that is hard so we want to influence to get them to the point where they see it as comfortable if possible.

We want them to be happy, we want our clients to be happy without

of course dishonoring anything that they may be going through which again, we talked about in the previous session. We want to respect their humanity, respect what they’re going through, respect wherever they are but ultimately on the big picture grand scheme of things we want them to be happy. We want things for our clients and they want things for themselves and they want results so by the fact that they’re hiring us then they want our influence. That’s part of the reason they’re hiring us. They want our influence, they want to be influenced by us to help achieve their goals, be happy, etc. Any questions about any of this so far?

Participant: Actually, a lot of the influencing people thing comes up when I

teach non-verbal communication. People have heard this before,


7% of your message is what you say and 93% is the non-verbal part of the message, relational messages and so forth. While people are listening to your words, they’re really listening to a whole host of other things and actually that’s I think one of the strong benefits of coaching over the telephone because people have fewer non-verbal queues to get tied up in and can focus a little bit more on the words. But, you’re absolutely right, even the tone of voice that you use, the speed at which you say your words or ask your question or whatever can draw certain things and influence people so you’re absolutely right, you can’t help but influence people.

Christian: Yeah. Participant: That was just an observation. Christian: Yeah, you’re right. Thank you for sharing that. Definitely. Anyone

else have any comments or questions about what I’ve covered so far? I know I went really quick. Okay, I assume everybody gets it yes?

Participant: Yes. Participant: Yeah. Christian: So the idea is we do want to influence our clients, we can’t help but

influence them and now knowing this and actually whether you knew it or not, sometimes I’m sure there are times when you’ve wanted to influence your clients in the past anyway. Knowing that we want to influence people, we want to influence our clients, we can’t help but do it anyways so we mind as well do it for their own good. When we attempt to influence them sometimes we are able to, sometimes we influence them and sometimes we don’t actually end up influencing them.

Now, we’re always communicating on both a conscious level and

on a subconscious level. On a conscious level you may be thinking about the words that we’re saying but on a subconscious level sometimes it will come through stronger to the other person if we’re more confident, if we’re more certain about it. Our confidence, our certainty translates through energetically to everyone that is listening. It becomes more powerful when we are in a strong mental or emotional state. That’s one of the factors of influence is getting yourself in to a strong state, a strong emotional state and that will transfer over.


Sometimes, we’re communicating with our words, our voice quality, voice tone and our body, our physical body but ultimately it’s the energy of the emotions that comes across, that’s one of the things that will definitely influence people. Sometimes your excitement and enthusiasm is contagious, sometimes it’s your peacefulness and centeredness and certainly sometimes it’s your fear. I know sales professionals they can be saying and doing all the right things but not getting the results they want because deep down inside they’re worried that the person is going to say no and then they’re going to feel rejected.

Sometimes when we attempt to influence people sometimes we do

influence them, sometimes we don’t. Or, sometimes we influence them the way we want to be influencing them and sometimes we influence them in ways that we don’t want to. Sometimes we also will influence people by accident the wrong way by the questions that we ask. For example if you ask somebody, “Why do you want a million dollars?” That’s going to influence them to start imaging having a million dollars and what it would do for them. If you said something like, “What makes you think you would fail at this?” Certainly, you might get at the root cause so sometimes it is good to ask those questions to find out where their thinking is but if you ask, “Why do you think you’re going to fail at this?” They’re going to be looking for reasons for why they might fail. We influence people often times by directing their focus.

Also it’s important to know that we can’t get somebody to do

something that they don’t want to do. Even with subconscious tools of influence, we’re not going to be able to get someone to do something that is going to seem really painful to them unless we could also show how they’re going to get lots of pleasure from going through that pain. For example, we might be able to influence somebody to work an extra 20 hours a week which might be unenjoyable in order to save up extra money so they can quit their job. We might be able to influence people to do things like that of course but we can’t influence people against their will. We can’t overpower their will. All we can do is help them see things in different ways and we can help them change their focus so that they’re focusing maybe on the benefits that they’re going to get or that they’re focusing on how good something would feel once they get what they want or that they’re even focusing on considering making a decision at all about something that they may have not otherwise been even considering.

We can’t get people to do things that they don’t want to do. There’s

just really no way to get people to do things that they really don’t


want to do unless there’s some sort of payoff for it or some sort of penalty for not complying. For example, speeding tickets is a way to get people to not speed even though people may otherwise prefer to speed. Then our society came up with these sorts of punishments and things like that. Other than outside things, we can’t get somebody to do something they don’t want to do. That’s important to know so that you can feel extra at peace and extra comfortable with using these things because it’s not like you’re going to manipulate anyone or hurt anyone in any way. We’re going to be doing all for the good of the client.

That’s probably the number one thing that I think probably

everybody in this program and almost anybody who would ever want to be a coach would come from the place of all for the good of the client. The number one rule is do everything that you can to help. Any questions about the idea that we can’t influence anybody to do something – that we can’t get someone to do something that they don’t want to do? Any comments or questions about that?

Participant: That’s actually a reassuring thought and it kind of reduces the risk

or I guess perceived risk of wanting or seeking to influence your clients because they’re certainly not going to do something they don’t want to do.

Christian: Yes, absolutely. Participant: But, on the other hand, I had a client who hadn’t paid her taxes in

two years and she just didn’t want to do it. Six months I worked with the woman and at the end she still hadn’t paid her taxes. I was like, “Okay, I’ve got to let that battle go because she doesn’t want to do it.” It would have been obviously in her best interest to pay her taxes, or actually file. She probably would have gotten money back, which she knew so it was very odd.

Christian: Well, let’s hold up for a second here about best interests. Participant: Okay. Christian: Because it may seem to be in her best interest to file those taxes

but in her mind she’s probably seeing that the pain of figuring it out, the pain of maybe paying somebody to do it for her as being even more –

Participant: Scary than maybe going to jail for not paying her taxes.


Christian: Yeah. And, maybe more real because the idea of going to jail might seem like a distant possibility. You’re right, it probably is in her best interest to get it handled in some way but maybe there’s different ways to go about it. But, you’re right, we can influence people even in ways that we know are in their best interest and you’re right, if they don’t want to do it they’re not going to do it.

Participant: Right. Christian: That’s the ultimate truth. Participant: Yeah. Christian: That’s one of the things too, when it comes to enrolling clients in

your coaching, feel free to use all this stuff that I’ll be teaching you tonight to help lead them in to hiring you because it really is in their best interest to hire you. The truth is that if someone is having an intro session with you, they’re either going to hire you and have a coach or they may never have a coach. Sometimes people are considering which coach they want and that’s great and I see that happening more and more actually. I remember my first two or three years, that never ever happen then after a while it started happening a little bit more and now finally that I think that I’m a big enough name that people really aren’t considering more than one person anymore by the time they’re talking to me because they really, really want to work with me.

Feel free to use this stuff when you’re enrolling clients because it

really is in their best interest. I think coaching is just the greatest thing in the world for anyone. Any other comments or questions before we go on here?

Participant: Christian, wouldn’t the whole issue of whose agenda is it come in to

play when considering influence? Christian: Yes, whose agenda is this and does that come in to play? Participant: Yes. Christian: Yes. Who’s agenda, good observation. It’s really tough, we always

want it to be the client’s agenda. We always want it to be the client’s agenda. Even when we’re influencing the client we want to influence the client on the client’s agenda, on what the client wants, on what is best for the client. The best we can do is what it seems to us what is best for the client. Everything that comes through us is being filtered through Rosa colored glasses or Christian


Mickelson colored glasses or [Batia] colored glasses, or Rosemary colored glasses so everything is going to be filtered through our lenses of perception. That is something we cannot possibly avoid, at least not that I’m aware of.

I mean, one way to do that is certainly is the more personal growth

work you can do on yourself you start letting go of a lot of that stuff. But, to get to the point where you have none left I don’t even know maybe it’s possible maybe it’s not. The point is that it’s very unlikely, that we do tend to have our own lenses of perception. The best we can do is always go for the client’s agenda and what’s in the client’s best interest based on our perception. As much as possible I really believe that the most powerful force is water. It shapes the rock, it can do it gently through a stream, it can do it through rain over time, over years breaking it down. People think the Grand Canyon was carved by glaciers and things like that. Water is a very, very powerful thing and it’s also very patient and very gentle and very flexible.

I think that’s a good metaphor for how we should be as coaches. We don’t want to push and force anything. I’m actually learning Kung Fu and that’s all about using the opponent’s energy and not try to force anything. If it ever feels like you’re really forcing something then there’s a good chance that you probably are trying to force your own agenda and things like that. But, as much as you can flow with the clients, be gentle like water and ask questions for sure. The whole if it’s your agenda or if it’s their agenda, probably if it’s your agenda if you have a charge about it. That’s a good way to know if something is your agenda. If you feel charged up about it, if you feel like indignant or righteous about it, there’s a good chance that it’s your issue that’s going on and your agenda that could be being forwarded within the conversation and the context of the coaching. I’m so glad you brought that up. That led to such good stuff there. How was that answer for you?

Participant: Yes, that was helpful. Christian: Good. Wow, what a good one. I’m so glad. I love the questions

and I love when good answers come out of my mouth. That’s always fun.

Participant: You sound so surprised. Christian: I sound surprised? Participant: Yeah, try not to.


Christian: Well, it’s stuff I know but that I haven’t necessarily written down

anywhere. Sometimes I have and sometimes I haven’t and so it’s always fun when it’s good ones. I already mentioned one of the ways to influence people was to get yourself in to a strong state. In hypnosis the say the best way to get someone hypnotized is to put yourself in to a hypnotic trance yourself and that’s just true of any emotional feeling. If you want to help your clients have more confidence put yourself in to a confident emotional state. If you want your clients to settle down and become more peaceful, center yourself and become more peaceful. If they’re afraid of something, get yourself in to a peaceful place.

That’s one very powerful way to influence people is just go there

first. Get yourself in to a strong state. Any questions about that? We’ve already talked about ways to put yourself in to a strong state immediately. One way is changing your physiology, changing your physiology. You can do that before your session, you can get yourself ready, stand tall, stand strong, stand confident, that’s one way to immediately get yourself in to a strong state. Another way to do what we’ve talked about is to look at something beautiful and just really appreciate the beauty of that thing and maybe breath while you’re doing that and get yourself in to a nice, centered peaceful state.

Another way to get in to a strong state is just to remember a time

when you felt whatever you want to feel. If you want to get excited you can remember a time you felt excited. If you want to get grateful, remember a time that you felt grateful or ask yourself questions. Another good way too is to ask yourself questions, “What am I most grateful for in my life right now? What else could I be grateful for right now?” Those are all ways to instantly change your state and those are also tools that you can teach and use with your clients to help them change their state.

One of my coaches, if she noticed that I just wasn’t super amped

about something or whatever she would just say, “Hey, you know what, stand up right now. Where’s your energy? Get yourself in to a strong state.” I’d follow along and it worked, it would help. That’s one really strong way to help clients and influence our clients on a subconscious level is to get ourselves in to a strong state.

Another is to use magic words. I’m going to teach you two very

good ones, actually they’re all good, I’ve got five on my list here. The first magic word is don’t. Now, the problem with this word is that this is one of the places that we may be trying to influence our


clients one way but in reality we’re influencing them the other way. This one is a very critical one to be aware of. The word don’t makes you focus on whatever is going on. A lot of times we use the word don’t to stop behavior. What would be something we don’t want somebody to do? Think of something, give me an example? Don’t all speak at the same time. Somebody go again.

Participant: Christian the example that I use is a lot of times parents will tell

their child, “Don’t run in to the street.” Christian: Yes. Participant: What happens is the child in order to understand that has to focus

on what running in the street looks like. Christian: Yes. Participant: Which gives them the message run in to the street so the

unconscious never hears don’t, it never hears not, it never hears no.

Christian: Very good. Alright. Let’s hear from someone else, some other

examples of things we don’t want people to do? Participant: Beat themselves up, make themselves wrong. Christian: Right. Yes. So, instead of saying, “Don’t beat yourself up,” which

doesn’t mean immediately they’re going to beat themselves up but it does certainly make them imagine themselves beating themselves up. Something else to say would be, “Be kind to yourself, be gentler on yourself, be good to yourself.” That might be something better to say instead of don’t beat yourself up. Good example. Someone else? Something else we don’t want people to do?

Participant: Don’t eat so much. Christian: Yes, yes. Or, how about if you’re on a diet and you’re telling

yourself, “Don’t eat that chocolate, don’t eat that chocolate.” Yeah, whatever it is that comes after don’t we still focus on it and we imagine that. So, instead of something like start exercising, we don’t want to say, “Don’t watch so much TV.” We want to say, “Start exercising.” Focus people towards what we want them to do. Focus their mind towards what they want them to do. Now, you can use don’t in playful ways though right? Don’t think about attending the Coaching Business Freedom Retreat. Don’t think


about getting on a plane and coming to San Diego. Don’t think about booking your airfare.

We can use the word playful in better ways, more constructive

ways. Don’t think about earning $100,000 a year as a coach. Think about all the smiling faces that are going to be so happy from all the help that you’ve given them. We can start being more playful and constructive with the word don’t. Don’t be a great coach. Don’t go after what you really want. Now, these are a little bit ridiculous, right? But, you get the idea, yes?

Participant: Yes. Christian: Does anybody have any question about don’t? Don’t ask it now.

Okay, you can ask it now. Alright, no questions. Great. Another magic word is the word because. There’s a study on the word because and I won’t go in to the whole study but the gist of it is that we almost automatically comply when the word because is used. It puts us in a trance. Probably, because when we were growing up we’d ask, “Why this, why that,” and eventually our parents and our teachers and everybody just got so tired of answering our questions that they said, “Well, just because.” We started accepting that just because meant that was the answer. Or, maybe even when we did answer the question we would say, “Well, it’s because of this.” So we just started getting in the habit that whatever follows because must be the real answer and makes it so.

Because has the power to confirm even with a weak reason. If I

said, “I would like you all to come to San Diego for the Coaching Business Freedom Retreat because it’s next weekend.” It’s a weak thing but it just creates a little bit of justification for something. I’ve got to tell you the study, I don’t remember all the exact statistic but there was a study done in an office center where back in the day there was usually one copy machine and people would have to wait in line. They did this study where they had people ask if they could cut in line. People would just ask, “Hey, can I cut in line?” They might ask why and they’d tell them why. They found that about 80% of the time people would say, “No, you can’t cut in line.”

Then, they tested it again but this time they had people say because, “Can I cut in line because.” Sometimes they would use the same excuses but now all of a sudden they would get a much better response. People would start complying and saying, “Yeah.” They also found that they could even say crazy stuff that didn’t even necessarily mean anything, “Can I cut in line because I need to make a copy.” And, people would still say yes. Because is a


magic word and it gives people validity to whatever may follow. It reinforces whatever you want them to think or focus on like, “You are all great coaches because you’re committed to it, because you’re committed to coaching by showing on these calls and listening to these recordings. You’re a great coach just by purchasing this program because when you purchase this program it instantly set off a level of commitment to being a greater coach than you had before.” Now, some of this may very well be true, what I’m sharing with you. I’m just throwing stuff out there to help tickle your unconscious mind right now and help make you feel even more confident as a coach now. First of all, is everybody still with me?

Participant: Yes. Participant: Yep. Christian: I did some more. Of course, I’m influencing you to think about and

consider coming to San Diego for the Coaching Business Freedom Retreat because I do believe it’s in your best interest. At least, for those of you who would like to make money as a coach. For anybody else, it probably isn’t a good fit for you. I have some examples in here about the Coaching Business Freedom Retreat. “Come to the Coaching Business Freedom Retreat because coming to San Diego and attending the Freedom Retreat will really change your life. Consider buying a ticket to fly out to San Diego and attending the Freedom Retreat because it’s what all the smart and sexy people are doing.” That’s because. Any questions about because?

Let me give you another example of how you might use because or

don’t with your clients. Actually, you know what I’m going to pull it all together in the next section so I’m just going to continue with the magic words for right now and then we’ll pull it all together in a moment. Another word is now. Now is one of these sort of power words or magic words because it just gets people to focus on now. For example, if you think about your ability to impact your clients now and how powerful you are at impacting your clients now versus when you use to work with them maybe several months ago then you may notice yourself feeling more comfortable and more confident. I don’t know more about now but it’s just one of those kind of trigger words. It triggers your unconscious mind to pay more attention because it brings it to the immediacy.


If something is happening right now, your unconscious mind usually is like, “Wow, I’ve got to do something now,” or, “I’ve got to pay attention now,” or, “This might mean something more,” just because of the word now. It kind of stops them in their tracks and alerts their subconscious mind. Another one similar, just like that actually, like now is wake up although you’re probably not going to need to use that one very much but that’s another example of a magic word, similar.

Another one is let go. Let go. “As soon as you begin to let go of

any anxieties that you may have had, or maybe if you notice like you’ve ever felt like you wanted to be the perfect coach, you can really start to let go of that and just relax.” Let go is kind of one of those things where it gives your unconscious mind permission to just relax. It releases anxiety and inhibitions. Let go.

Another magic word is discovery, or imagine and any other

intangible words because they are not just intangible but discover and imagine, they trigger your creative mind and your imagination which puts you in to a trance. I didn’t want to really use the word trance in this program but the truth is, is that we’re always in trances and some trances are deeper than others but we are always in a trance. Like, right now, you’re probably in a learning trance. When you’re watching TV certainly you’re probably in a deep entertain me trance. When you’re driving a car and you forget about driving and you’re in your driving trance. If you’re driving home from work you just show up at home and you don’t even think about it. In fact, sometimes you’re in such a deep trance when you were wanting to stop off and pick up a movie from Blockbuster or you were wanting to stop off and pick up milk from Circle K then you forget and you pull up in your drive way and you’re like, “Oh man, I was suppose to stop and go get that.”

We’re always in trances. We’re always in a trance to a certain

extent. Words like discover, or imagine and other intangible sorts of words help to deepen that trance just a little bit. Any questions about these magic words? Good.

The next part here, setting positive expectations, this is actually a

very important part. This actually pulls it all together. This is pretty much the main reason why we want to use a lot of words is to really set positive expectations. We want to kind of lay the tracks in people’s minds so that as they imagine the future they see it going well. That’s what positive expectations are. Setting positive expectations for our clients. Not just what we expect of them but really positive expectations for what they should expect to come.


What we expect to happen very often does for the good or for the

bad. We can set expectations for our clients by telling them what to expect. For example, with using these subconscious tools of influence you’ll find that after the first or second try that it gets much, much easier. So right now if I say, “That you’ll find after the first or the second try it gets much, much easier.” What’s happening now is you’re imaging doing it once or twice and then it being really easy after that. So, I’m already creating in your mind like a little grain in your mind of what’s going to happen in the future as you use this.

Usually most coaches with any anxiety or need to coach just right,

gets to the point where they just let go and let their natural instincts and intuition take over. Sometimes it can happen right away and sometimes they can just start off this way right from the beginning. I’m having you imagine that if you ever had any anxiety about coaching in just the right way that at some point you are going to be able to just let go and you won’t have it anymore and your natural instincts and intuition will take over and sometimes it can happen right away. Now, I’m actually pulling back and making it like, “Oh hey, I can get there right now.” Sometimes you can even just start that way right from the beginning. I just laid out kind of some different possibilities for people.

Some people are bound by their fears about what other people will

think of them like, “Will they think I’m crazy for doing this?” And, other people will let go of all of that and focus on what they want to create and the rewards that will come of it. These sorts of statements, using all these words, all this is really all about setting positive expectations. I actually skipped a section here which I know we’ve covered before and I want to go back and talk about because it’s really important.

That is the idea that everything that enters the system affects the

system. That’s the law of physics that everything that enters the system affects the system. Everything we hear impacts us, television impacts us, advertising, our parents. I know my mom use to tell me to use my own judgment. That helped me to build my decision making abilities. As a coach, we have a unique opportunity to serve our clients by drenching them with positive good for them inputs. I remember after my first coach and I stopped working together. We worked together for about nine months and then after that I noticed that I found myself asking those same questions that she would ask me. I would imagine the coaching in my mind and I picked up her questioning patterns, her


thought patterns, the way that she would talk to me and things like that. That became an important factor in my success even when I wasn’t working with her. All the coaches that have coached me have had a very powerful, profound impact.

We as coaches have the ability to touch people in ways that they

are never touched outside of coaching. There’s no relationship on the planet like coaching. None. I mean your parents, your boyfriend or girlfriend, your spouse, your children, your co-workers, your friends, all of those people first of all they don’t have the training that all of you have so that’s one thing. But, many people are just faced with so much negativity in this world. I remember how hard it was for me to quit my job and start my own business. This was before coaching. I had actually started a different business. I had started many but none that were big that had to cause me to quit a job after college, a real job.

I remember how hard it was because I just felt like when I would

talk to people about quitting my job or starting a business I just got so much negativity from people. I don’t know where that comes from. There is the whole principle that many of you may have heard of that people talk about in personal growth circles how if there’s crabs that are stuck in a tank that if one is climbing up to get out then the other ones knock it down. I don’t know, I don’t know why sometimes we as human beings can do that type of stuff but I know when I quit my job and I broke through that, I broke that, I snapped that, I snapped that hold that it had on me and it’s never had that hold on me sense. Anyone’s opinions or thoughts or anything, they can certainly influence me but nothing like that has held me back sense.

Having a relationship with a coach, I don’t know if I would have

done it if I didn’t have a coach because I did have a coach at the time. Having somebody to listen to you and just give you that space to listen like we’ve talked about in the past, having somebody to believe in you when no one else does, having someone to ask the right question at the right time, having somebody that can really focus on you and give you energy as the client. Having somebody to really be in your corner like no one else is an experience that most people on earth will never have because truthfully most people, at least until there is a big transformation and certainly coaching is spreading so there’s no doubt about it but the fact of the matter is that as of right now statistically I would say 90% of the world has never experienced coaching. That’s just kind of sad to me.


That’s one of the reasons I believe so much in coaching. We do have so much of a power to help our clients. Everything that enters the system affects the system and when we can affect their subconscious mind and help them set expectations for good things that are yet to come for them. As you go back and listen to all of these tapes you’ll notice that I’ve been doing this all along for you. That I’ve been reassuring you, that I’ve been telling you how you’re going to get this, how you’re going to become better and better as coaches. It wasn’t planned or scripted it’s just whenever I felt it or sometimes it just even comes through at an unconscious level. That’s something too, as you do this more and more it will become second nature and you’ll start doing this on a second nature level. You’ll start doing this without even thinking about it. It will just be so natural to you. Now, I’m doing it again and it’s true and all the times before I was saying it was just as true then too. Any questions about anything that we’ve covered, questions or comments? Did I put everybody in to a trance?

Participant: One comment. Christian: Yes? Participant: I notice you caught yourself there right at the end when you

changed but to and. Christian: Yes. Participant: Have you ever talked about but? Christian: Like the whole negating? But, negates and does not? There are

so many things to each that I could certainly spend some time on that. I’ll spend a minute here, it’s a good idea to not say but with our clients or avoid using the word but especially if you said something like, “I really, really respect you but,” it like negates that whole thing you just said. It immediately negates that and now you’re going to focus on whatever I said next. Versus, “I really, really respect you and there was this one thing that you said that made me start losing a bit of faith in you.” Or, “I really loved that movie but,” “I loved your work but,” it just negates that. Using and instead of but helps create more harmony with people. So you want to watch out when you say but and try saying and instead. There’s a quick mini lesson. Thanks for point that out.

Participant: You’re welcome.


Christian: Questions, comments? We’re going to wrap up here in just a second. Let me ask you a question, do you think you can use what you’ve learned here tonight to positively lay the tracks and set great expectations for your clients?

Participant: Absolutely. Participant: Yes. Christian: Is there anyone who thinks you might have trouble with this? Participant: I think it will be like anything, as you get more comfortable with it, it

will get easier but initially it might be a little challenging. Christian: Yeah. Here’s something else to think about too, your homework is

to certainly try this with your clients and with each other in trios and you may even play around with it with friends and what not. Sometimes the language pattern is a little awkward, is a little odd but for the most part people don’t even really think about it or notice it. You might notice yourself saying all kinds of weird convoluted sentences and it might start out that way and then over time it will become more natural and you’ll be able to work it in and make it sound a lot more normal. But, go ahead and let it be unnatural for a while at first and be totally wild and crazy within your trios. I want you to go overbroad this week.

Then next week since we don’t have another session next week,

next week tame it down again but do it again. Your homework is over the next two weeks, next week go crazy with it, go to the extreme and then the following week tame it back down. Any questions about the homework?

Participant: So we’re supposed to try and leverage these magic words and

setting positive expectations? Christian: Yes. Okay, we’ll we’re just going to wrap up here the same way we

always do, just by checking in and finding out what you found most valuable?

Participant: The magic words. Christian: Why? Participant: Well, you pointed out that because for example has the power to

confirm even with a weak or no reason and I never thought about


that. That’s really good and now also triggering paying more attention which is really a good tool to have in one’s tool kit.

Christian: Great. Someone else, what did you find most valuable? Participant: I liked how you used the words drench them in positive input.

Using that word really, drench, really hit home. Christian: Thank you. Yeah, absolutely. I so want my clients to be happier

and do better and the more we can put those sorts of positive inputs in to them, I know it makes a difference. I agree. I like that too. Thank you.

Participant: I think understanding the power of discovery and imagine. That

really hit it home for me kind of similarly to what David said as far as because and now.

Christian: Yeah. If you can imagine yourself using these tools a lot more now

and if you can see yourself discovering new powers inside of yourself that you had never realized were there but actually have been there untapped all along and now as you begin to access those and harness those powers for your own good and for the good of your clients you’ll begin to feel good inside because you’ll know that you’re doing what you’ve been meant to do all along.

Participant: Yee-haw. Christian: I think that was about all you could say to that one. Participant: Yeah. You managed to weave in almost every magic word there. I

was waiting for you to say, “Wake up.” Christian: Yes. Yes. Well, don’t let yourself think this is easy because it isn’t

always easy although it sometimes can be. When you go to sleep tonight all of this stuff will reorient your unconscious mind, it will be kind of working on it. Just like I said, anything that enters the system affects the system and it will be working on your subconscious mind which is a system in and of itself. When you wake up you’ll notice yourself feeling good, smiling more and feeling stronger in your ability to make a difference in everyone’s life, your client’s and everybody else you come in contact with.

That’s one of the reasons why I usually wrap up our calls with go

forth and have your best week ever because I am setting that expectation for you. I don’t know if you realize that. You probably didn’t. But, I actually end all my coaching calls that way and all of


my classes, go forth and have your best week ever. I’m just setting a good expectation. One of my clients just on Tuesday, we’ve only had our third session, this was I think our third session and I was wrapping up and I was saying, “Go forth and have your best week ever.” He said, “You know, I really thought that was very trite, but I have to tell you that last week was my best week ever so maybe it’s working.” Alright, any last questions or comments? Okay. Well, go forth and have your best week ever and let’s get people coached.

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Session 11: Master Your Psychology, Part V, Subconscious ......[Cameen’s] feeling more confident, anyone else feeling more confident, more solid in your coaching? I’d like to hear