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Transitioning to Facility Care
By Cassandra Van Dyck
A bimonthly newsletter published by the Caregiver Support Program
September/October 2015
Perhaps one of the hardest decisions you will make
as a family caregiver is the decision to transition
your care partner to facility care. You may feel
awash with emotions, from grief and fear, to possi-
ble relief. It can be an incredibly difficult time that
might leave you feeling overwhelmed, but there are
things you can do and people you can talk to that
can make the decision making and transition easier
on you and your care partner.
Many caregivers wait to discuss transitioning to facil-
ity care until well past when they first started think-
ing about it because it can be a hard conversation to
have. There might be fears about how care partners
may react or how caregivers might cope once their
partners are no longer with them. Ideally, the care
partner participates in the decision making process.
Having choice creates control, which can be com-
forting when someone feels like that might be taken
away from them. “If [they] refuse or are unable,”
says Peter S. Silin, “Then you will have to make the
decision. Think about the decision as one you need
to have in order to make a different decision togeth-
er.” Silin suggests that caregivers be very clear about
what and where you’re talking about. Is it a nursing
home? Assisted living? A professional caregiver at
home? You have reached a point when you feel you
can no longer provide your partner the care they
need and you are trying to find a solution that will
work for both of you. Your care partner may very
well feel angry, but it’s important to remember
that anger is a secondary emotion - it always
stems from an underlying, uncomfortable feeling.
They may be feeling sad, rejected or scared. It can
be helpful to remember that although these emo-
tions are directed towards you, they are not about
you. Try to validate their feelings so you can really
hear them and understand one another in the
best way possible.
After the conversations have been had and the
decisions have been made, the next challenging
step is to help your loved one adjust to facility
care. As we all know, moving is seldom easy, even
in ideal situations. Below are some tips to help
ease the transition. It is by no means a complete
list. These pointers will focus on supporting your
care partner with the move, but it is also im-
September/October 2015
important to think about details, such as preparing for
facility restrictions (non-smoking, etc.), deciding on a
Power of Attorney, talking to your physician about the
kind of intervention they’re able to provide, etc. For
more information on preparation and adjustment,
please see the resources listed at the end of the article.
Some Things to Bring With You (Keystone Eldercare So-
lutions)
Loose-fitting, washable clothing and shoes that fit
well with non-skid soles
Favourite pictures, TV (optional), a few albums,
music, CD player, favourite pillow or blanket
Copies of all of the completed legal and financial
documents
Your family member’s calendar of upcoming ap-
pointments
Current list of medications
Advanced Health Care Directives & Degrees of In-
tervention
Some Ideas to Help Ease the Transition (Keystone
Eldercare Solutions/Kerry McPhedran)
Bring the old home environment into the new
space as much as possible
Where possible, maintain established routines,
i.e., coffee out with friends, subscription to daily
paper, etc.
Reassure, reassure, reassure! Tell your family
member that you are here with them, and that
they are safe.
Listen to the emotion as well as their words. First,
listen quietly. When they have finished speaking,
just say whichever fits: “That must be very up-
setting/frustrating/worrying/frightening for you.”
The person will often say, “Yes it is.” Their shoul-
ders relax, the scowl is gone, the anxiety in the
-eyes lessens.” Try it with other residents, too.
Always bring a small gift. A local newspaper, cook-
ies, chocolate bar, a recent photograph, pens and
pencils, a notepad.
Accept that “No!” means no. The resident’s only
form of control now is to say “No.” We all need to
feel empowered sometimes. Accept what you are
told.
Kerry McPhedran reminds caregivers and care partners
that it can take at least three months to settle in. Re-
member, it is a huge adjustment for your care partner,
but also for yourself. Find someone to talk to if you are
struggling and practice self-care regularly.
Here are a few resources for tips on preparing for and
transitioning to facility care:
Nursing Homes and Assisted Living: The Family’s Guide
to Making Decisions and Getting Good Care. Peter S.
Silin
Talking to Alzheimer’s. New Harbinger Publications, Inc.
Keystone Eldercare Solutions:
www.keystoneeldercare.com
The Family Caregivers’ Grapevine Page 3
Walk and Talk
Tuesdays, September 1st and October 6th, 1:30PM-
3PM
Rejuvenate with a stroll on the Ambleside seawall,
get to know other caregivers and enjoy the fresh air.
The walks take place rain or shine. Meet us by the
public washrooms at John Lawson Park in West Van-
couver.
Network Group
Wednesdays, September 9th and October 14th,
10:30AM-12:30PM
Thursdays, September 3rd and October 1st, 7PM-
A sneak peek at upcoming Network Groups:
September 3: Creative Inspiration
September 9: Resilience
October 1: Music with Cassandra Van Dyck
October 14: Laughter Yoga with John Wallstrom
Tools for Embracing Self-Care: An Event for Un-paid Caregivers
Monday September 14 and 28th from 6:30PM-9PM Room 203 at Capilano Mall, 935 Marine Drive, North Vancouver
Cultivate a healthy relationship with your Self Care in this fun and creative two part workshop. Discover your unique Self Care Plan, learn ways to break through your personal barriers, overcome
September 2015 Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
1 Walk and
Talk
1:30PM-
3:30PM
2 3 Network
Group 7PM-
9PM
4 5
6 7 8 9 Network
Group
10:30AM-
12:30PM
10 11 12
13 14 Tools for
Embracing
Self-Care
6:30PM-9PM
15 16 17 18 19
20 21 22 23 24 25 26
27 28 Tools for
Embracing
Self-Care
6:30PM-9PM
29 30
For registration and information on all sessions, contact Karyn by email at
[email protected] or by phone at 604-982-3320.
September/October 2015
Cheryl Brewster is a dynamic
speaker and change consultant
who works with people to
transform challenge and uncer-
tainty. Cheryl’s story is one of
extraordinary trust and the abil-
ity to overcome adversity.
procrastination, and develop personal self-motivation techniques. Presented by Erna Mead, Life Coach and founder of Actively Living Coaching Services. Erna’s passion is to help others create a healthy relationship with taking care of self and actively live the life they want. Please plan to attend both sessions if possible, as this will make the learning experience richer. Caregivers’ Emotional Tune-Up October 21st, 6:30PM-8:30PM at North Shore Community Resources, Room 203, 935 Marine Drive, North Vancouver. Practical communication tools to support
your life and caregiving journey Finding and cultivating what energizes you Why self-appreciation and taking good care
of yourself is important
Wellness Corner
This month, we’re highlighting some helpful resources for caregivers with care partners diagnosed with
Alzheimer’s Disease or dementia.
Books:
Alzheimer’s: A Caregiver’s Guide and Sourcebook, Howard Gruetzner
A Caregiver’s Guide to Alzheimer’s Disease: 300 Tips for Making Life Easier, Callone et al.
Forget Memory, Anne Davis Basting
The Long Hello, Cathie Borrie
Online:
Alzheimer Society Canada: http://www.alzheimer.ca/en
“Let your smile change the
world. Not the world change
your smile.” - Louise Hay
The Family Caregivers’ Grapevine Page 5
All About Laughter Yoga
By Cassandra Van Dyck
“Laughter takes you from moping to coping to hoping.” - Dr. Joel Goodman
“Very good, very good, yeah!,” is just one of the
things you might find yourself exclaiming in unison
with your fellow classmates in a laughter yoga class.
At first, it might feel a little uncomfortable and may-
be a little silly. You might feel this way, but find your-
self smiling uncontrollably at the same time. While a
different yoga class might leave you with sore limbs,
this practice could you have you rubbing your
cheeks.
Laughter yoga was created in India in 1995 by Dr.
Madan Kataria, a family physician who was looking
for an alternative way to treat patients that were
suffering from stress-related illnesses. It is based on
the belief that voluntary laughter is as psychological-
ly and physiologically beneficial as spontaneous
laughter. This is great news, considering the incredi-
ble benefits of laughing. Laughter relaxes the entire
body, relieving tension and stress, and has been
shown to leave muscles relaxed for up to 45
minutes. It boosts your immune system by decreas-
ing stress hormones and increasing immune cells,
triggers the release of endorphins, and protects the
heart by increasing blood flow. And it’s a natural,
easy thing to do, right? Not always.
When experiencing prolonged stress and pressures, it
might be hard to remember the last time you
laughed. Sadness, anger, frustration, and exhaustion
might feel more familiar than silliness. If you’re hav-
ing a hard time, jokes that used to be funny might not
make you smile in the same way, and humorous mov-
ies or television shows that used to have you in
stitches might leave you feeling flat. This is why
laughter yoga can be so effective. The basis of laugh-
ter yoga is that your body knows how to laugh in
spite of what your mind might have to say. You do
not have to know jokes, have a sense of humour, or
even feel happy to participate in a class. It invites you
to laugh for no reason until that laughter starts to
feel real.
Laughter yoga asks attendees to participate with their
whole bodies. Laughter is initiated in a group through
eye contact and playfulness that might feel child-like,
but it soon turns in to real and contagious laughter.
Some people call laughter yoga “internal jogging” be-
cause its effects are akin to physical exercise. “On a
social level, laughter helps dispel loneliness and alien-
ation. It breaks the ice, makes people feel at ease
with each other, and improves communication,” says
Laughter Yoga Metro Vancouver.
September/October 2015
Laughter Yoga classes can take many unexpected
turns and twists, but if you’re still wondering what
sorts of things the leader might ask you to do, or if
you’d like to try laughing on your own or with a loved
one at home, here’s a sneak peek at some laughter
yoga activities!
Appreciation Laughter: look at others as you laugh
and appreciate each other. This is a value-based
laughter, reminding the participants how important
it is to appreciate others. The tip of the index finger
is joined with the tip of the thumb, making a small
circle. The hand is moved forward and backwards in
jerks while looking at different members and laugh-
ing in a very gentle manner, appreciating your fellow
beings.
Basketball Throw: someone throws an air basketball
and everyone either cheers or groans, depending on
whether the shot sunk or missed.
Cell Phone Laughter: Hold imaginary cell phones;
move around to meet different people and interact
while laughing; point to cellphone as if pointing to
the person you’re talking to.
Swinging Laughter: This has a lot of playfulness. All
the members move outwards by two meters to wid-
en the circle. On instruction from the anchor person
people move forward by making a prolonged sound
of Ae-Ae-Aeeeee, simultaneously raising the hands
and they all burst into laughter while meeting in the
center and waving their hands. After the bout of
laughter, they move back to their original position.
The second time they move forward by saying Oh-
Oooooo and burst into laughter.
Serious Laughter, or Try To Be Serious Laughter:
Talk with a straight face while trying to not smile or
laugh.
Laughter Yoga has gained attention in the last two
decades around the world, and for good reason.
In some seniors homes, Laughter Yoga is practiced
daily. Even if we’re feeling well, a good laugh can
only improve our moods and uplift us.
Are you interested in giving Laughter Yoga a try? Vis-
it the following websites for more information on
classes near you!
Laughter Yoga North Vancouver
North Shore: John Wallstrom
Email: [email protected]
Phone or text: (604) 619-9535
www.laughteryogacanada.org
The Smiling Yogi
www.thesmilingyogi.com/laughter-clubs/
Postures and Prompts with Andrea Winterbottom
http://www.nvdpl.ca/event/postures-and-prompts-1
“Laughter is the language of the soul.” - Pablo Neruda
The Family Caregivers’ Grapevine Page 7
October 2015
Sun Mon Tue Wed Thu Fri Sat
1 Network
Group 7PM-
2 3
4 5 6 Walk and
Talk 1:30PM
7 8 9 10
11 12 13 14 Network
Group
10:30AM-
15 16 17
18 19 20 21 Emotion-
al Tune-Up
6:30PM-
22 23 24
25 26 27 28 29 30 31
Gratitude Corner
Three Good Things
Here is a simple gratitude exercise that has been shown to
have profound positive effects on participants. It starts with
a commitment of a few minutes a day for one week, and
then hopefully becomes habit.
At the end of the day, for one week, write down three things
that went well each day. For each of the three things, explain
what contributed to the positive event.
Do you remember the feeling you got when someone went
out of their way to do something for you, or when you
bought something you really loved? Chances are, the feeling
faded hours or days later. It wasn’t that the event changed, it
was that the appreciation was not at the front of your mind.
The exercise has been shown to be beneficial because it re-
trains our brains to focus on the things that make us happy.
Appreciation causes happiness!
September/October 2015
REFLECTIONS ON A VAST EXPANSE OF LAVA
Sitting on a prominent piece of lava,
I scan the scene.
There is something in the nature of a battlefield
Reflected in the huge extent of the lava flow.
Tourists gape in awe at the cliff edge,
Waves pounding and breaking,
Small birds soaring randomly.
Meanwhile, down the road, the Hawaiian goose
is nesting
Blissfully unaware of its own importance.
- Julia Wilson
A little bit about the writer:
“I have been a caregiver for my husband for over
two years. Recently I went for a weeklong course
on the Big Island of Hawaii, where there are over
5 volcanoes, not all active now. Every day we vis-
ited different spots and wrote poems there. It
was an amazing experience.”
North Shore Community
Resources Caregiver Support
Program
201-935 Marine Drive
North Vancouver, BC
V7P 1S3
The Family Caregivers’ Grapevine
is a bi-monthly publication that
promotes the importance of self-
care and provides practical infor-
mation to help with the caregiv-
ing role.
Do you have any questions or
feedback about the newsletter?
Please contact Cassandra at:
or
604-982-3319
