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SEPIA STYLE!

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Greetings wives, significant others and lady

friends! It is that time of the year when your mate

is enamored, engrossed and obsessed with the

game of football. As a reminder to you:

We know you exist, but as sports enthusiast we

worship and believe that we really make a

difference to our respective teams by supporting

and participating via television or stadium

visitation.

In all fairness to you, football season only last 5-6

months out of the year. The remainder of the year

is devoted to you and the many “Honey-do’s” or

chores you conjure up for us to justify our lodging

and meal plan. So in order for us to maintain

peace in our marriage, relationship or friendship

here are a few suggestions or rules you must

understand to avoid domestic conflict and chaos

over football games:

Never try to understand our obsession with

football. We never try to understand your

obsession with shopping and excessive spending

i.e., purses or shoes.

Never try to make us feel self-conscious about our

love for football by saying we love the game more

than we love you. Really?

If your man is invited to watch the game with “the

boys”, do not show up before kickoff and think it’s

acceptable. This move is embarrassing to your

man.

Do not stand in front of the television just to get

our attention or prove a point. That is a pointless

gesture.

If you like football just to appease us, we

appreciate your presence and interest but never

use this opportunity to try manipulating us to do

anything other than watch the game.

If you are watching the game with us please do not

ask what happened on every play. The television

commentators are paid to answer your questions.

Racism is a spiritual force that destroys

relationships, diminishes human

societies and breaks down economic

and social structures. In 1965 Martin

Luther King, Jr. gave the

commencement speech at Oberlin

University. In his speech he spoke of

Washington Irving's classic, Rip Van

Winkle. Most of us only remember that

Rip Van Winkle slept for 20 years.

However, while Rip was snoring in the

mountains something else more

significant happened. Rip Van Winkle

slept through a great revolution. When

he went to sleep, King George III was

the ruler of the colonies. Rip Van Winkle

did not know that the American

Revolution had taken place; George III's

portrait on the town inn had been

replaced by that of George Washington.

Rip Van Winkle slept through a

revolution and lost sight of the miracle

of liberation that took place all around

him. This story is a metaphor for how

many are sleeping through a revolution.

It is true— “The revolution will not be

televised” in the words of Gil Scott

Heron.

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If there is one lesson I have definitely learned in my 5.5 decades of life, it is that another life challenge will immediately follow the one I just conquered or survived. It’s inevitable. Take for instance, last year when my best friend died from complications from breast cancer. I was overcome by grief, sadness, loneliness, anger, pity and so many other emotions, until I was an emotional wreck. Every mention of her name by well-meaning friends, and each private thought I had of her, elicited both happy and sad tears. How did I survive such a devastating loss? It was simple. I sought and found tranquility in the midst of my storms. Tranquility or inner peace is a powerful source of survival from all of the daily stresses and challenges life can bring. Tranquility starts inside of you and manifests to the outside. You can physically change your circumstances by simply changing your thoughts and attitude about them. The key is to find a way to shake off the troubling feelings and replacing those with thoughts and visuals that bring peacefulness and joy. So, how do you find inner peace? Start by praying and accepting those things about your situation that you cannot change. Eliminate thoughts, people or activities that steal your joy. Participate in activities that make you laugh! Laughter is good for your mind, body and spirit. Give at least four hugs a day to encourage someone. Listen to soothing music. Take daily walks and allow yourself to enjoy nature. Give of yourself to a charity or worthwhile cause. Write notes of encouragement to family and friends. Treat yourself to scented candles and enjoy aromatherapy. Make a concerted effort to see the glass as half full rather than half empty. And finally, whatever is true, whatever is honest, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is excellent—think about these things. Learning to find tranquility is a powerful way to keep yourself on an even keel while you survive any of life’s challenges.

Finding Tranquility in the Midst of the Storm By Vanessa F. Church

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Wilma “Char” McNabb, AKA Mama McNabb,

is the mother of recently retired NFL

Quarterback Donovan McNabb. We’ve seen

her in Campbell’s Soup commercials on

television, and always at the games along

with her husband, Sam and oldest son,

Sean. The McNabbs are a wonderful family

picture of support and encouragement.

SPW: Football fans have seen the connection

you have with your son, Donovan, over the years.

How does a woman establish a strong connection

with her sons?

CHAR: My husband and I decided as the kids

were growing up that sports would be the thing

that occupied them physically and mentally;

sports is a good occupier. My husband played

basketball socially, and he always took the boys

to play when he played. He also coached

basketball. By the time the boys started school

they wanted to play sports. Sean, our oldest,

played football and basketball, and Donovan

attended and helped by being the little manager

on the team. We never went anywhere the kids

couldn’t go. Sports was a good way to keep

them occupied and off the streets, but once you

commit to putting them in sports you have to

take the time and carry them where they need

to go. We as parents have to sacrifice our lives

to save our children. That’s the way we thought, so

they got involved in sports and did their

school work. The rule was that if you want to play these sports, then you have to keep your grades

up to par. By no means did I imagine my little boy

from Dolton, IL, would make it to the NFL – who

would think that?

I know we have a lot of single parents, but you can

establish that connection with your son too. First and

foremost, you have to remember you’re not their

friend. You can at some point be their friend, but you

are their mother first. You have to always remember

that. You have to have a stern hand as well. I was

blessed to be part of a two parent family, and they do

need kind of a male hand to help with that. I did my

part, and Sam definitely did his. You have to be their

mother first, and then be their friend.

SPW: Do you believe there is a correlation between

sports and success later in life?

CHAR: Well it is a help. I won’t just say sports. Some

pursue educational goals and become business men,

attorneys, doctors or whatever - that also breeds

success. It has to be something you determine in your

being, that this is what you want to put all your time

and effort into. As parents we are supporting it and

we’re going to push you, but you are going to have to

put your whole body, mind, and soul into it. That

breeds success.

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Accessories Are the Key to the Little Black Dress Mystique The Little Black Dress or LBD is one of the most versatile and stylish clothing investments every woman should have in her fashion collection. Whether the dress is short and sexy, classic and professional or dramatically designed, nothing says sophistication like a little black dress. Accessories are key to what gives this fashion staple its mystique and it’s ready-for-anything versatility. The same LBD can be worn to work as a professional fashion statement or out on the town, depending on the accessories. Shoes, scarves, belts and jewelry make a noticeable difference in how a Little Black Dress looks. To achieve a conservative look, go for classic earrings, necklaces and bracelets in gold, silver, or pearls. Patterned scarves add color, sophistication and a certain softness to the LBD mystique. When the occasion calls for something a little funkier, choose a necklace with chunky stones, beads and more color. Accessorizing with rhinestone jewelry is quite stunning on a beautifully designed LBD. Rhinestone belts, while quite expensive, make a very tasteful fashion statement when understated elegance is required. Shoes and purses are an opportunity to introduce a particular look or color to the LBD ensemble. The height of the heel and the handbag choice change the look dramatically, and indicates a strong sense of style. The lower the heel the more classic or conservative the look. The higher the heel the more avant garde the LBD will appear. This fashion season it is no longer necessary to have shoes and handbags that match. They must however compliment the overall look. For a trendy look, go for a pump in a hot color that is playfully elegant. A choice of a stiletto heel is a sexy look for cocktail parties or dinner. There will always be an unexpected professional or social event to attend in which the little black dress will be the best option. The key to making it sassy, classy or sophisticated are the proper fashion accessories.

SEPIA STYLE!

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SEPIA STYLE!

There are many ways to look at beauty as beauty

exists in so many styles and dimensions all over

the world. One man may look at a woman and

say “Wow, she is beautiful!” While another man

may think that same woman and think she looks

“OK.” What is it that sparks a look or a whistle

from one man and a simple glance from

another? Let’s explore a few simple questions

about beauty and the body and why it means so

much to us as women.

I remember the first time that a young man gave

me a whistle. It was shocking! I grinned a little

and then I thought to myself “Hmmm, perhaps

I am a looker after all.” After a day or two without

whistles or hoots, I started feeling low again. I

thought, “What can I do to stimulate that re-

sponse again? How can I ensure a certain number

of similar responses in my daily life?” It’s no piece

of cake but it was very important to my self-

perception and life long frenzy of regular beauty

regimens.

Let’s take our hair. Hair is an ongoing issue for

all women but it has become an iconic issue for

women of color. How should I wear my hair?

Should I keep a natural style or a weave in my

hair? Is nappy really crappy? Or does nappy m

ake you happy? (smile).

I remember the day my mom gave me full reign of

my hair. It was a sunny, windy beautiful day. She

styled my hair in a natural afro and said, “You are

on your own, Charlene!” I was so excited! I didn’t

know what to do. I walked down the street with the

wind blowing through my fro. It was an awakening

experience as streams of air ran all over my scalp.

It felt great. I shook it a little and wore a huge grin

on my face. FABULOUS!!! Natural beauty is

Awesome. I had found my beauty brand or so I

thought. The hoots and hollas weren’t as plentiful.

Why wasn’t my brand attracting the same

response?

After walking down the street and around the

block, I came back home that evening to notice

that this wasn’t going to be easy!! I lost my

sense of confidence about my newfound

freedom and quickly resorted to my standby.

“Hey, Mom, can you help me!!” I didn’t want to

lose my beautiful hair, (okay, my hoots either). I

wanted mom to ensure my sense of self

because my hair always looked great when she

cared for it. That insecurity has run rampant in

our society. We are always comparing

ourselves to someone, some event or

something. We are either stimulated to change

something or pump up the volume. Throughout

this site and on my blog I want you to ask

yourself a few questions? How do I beauty up?

And What is My Beauty brand?

So whether it is natural beauty or fabricated

beauty, where do you fit in? You could have

lovely lips and a gigantic backside. If those are

your positives, WORK THEM!!! Do you know

what I mean? How do you accent those

attributes for maximum benefits? How do you

make it happen? Of course I want to let you

know about our services, products and all of the

cool things that we offer. Nevertheless it is also

about how we beauty up differently. Let’s

examine our beauty differences and how we feel

about them. I promise this will be an exciting

venture. So the next time you walk by a mirror

and double back for another look, ask yourself,

“How Do I Beauty Up?”

Charlene Wright is the

proprietor of CJ Beat, Inc. /

Variables Face 'n Body Place.

Variables features a variety of

products including skin care,

make-up and bath products, as well as spa

services. You can contact Charlene or her staff

at http://variablesfacenbody.com

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Can a single woman be friends with a married man but not his wife? Can a single woman be friends with a married man but not his wife? Yes. Would I recommend it? NO! My question to this question is why is a single woman friends with a married man and not his wife? Why does the married man have an opposite sex relationship that is not business or work related, that excludes his wife? Whenever this question comes up, many people believe it’s a “have an affair free card.” Usually women approve of their husband’s female (single) friends because: (1) he had them long before her and (2) she doesn’t want to come into the marriage as the controlling new wife who demands he ditch all old friends. It’s wise to set boundaries within your marriage but how? The married man’s his first priority should be his wife and the marriage, just as the wife’s first priority should be her husband. If the opposite sex friendship doesn’t bother his wife, then it’s not an issue. However we know that when married couples go through a “rough patch” they might communicate less with each other and more with friends. In this case I hope the married man has a strong male friend in his life who will help him and support the marriage -- not just what the friend wants to do. Since the husband’s opposite sex friend does not have a relationship with his wife, she hasn’t had the chance to know her. She will advise her friend based on the information he’s given her (if he chooses to discuss his marital issues with her). These friends should use caution; emotional affairs are just as damaging as sexual infidelity. The husband must exercise his priorities. A friend of mine said “The worst thing you can do to someone is to ask or agree to marry them, and not make them your top priority.” My short answer is this: If any of his outside relationships offend his wife or cause conflict in his marriage, he should back away until there can be common ground between all parties. His top priority should be his wife. Peace at home has more value. If the single woman desires to continue her friendship with a married man she should befriend his wife. Side note: I hope your wife is also your female friend. What do you think? Write talkback@sepiaprimewoman.com, or post a note in our Facebook Group. Candice Payne is NOT a professional counselor, she is a friend with an opinion. You’ve been warned. The opinions are her own and not necessarily those of Sepia Prime Woman or its Influence Partners. Send your questions to talkback@sepiaprimewoman.com

SEPIA STYLE!

The Superwoman Sanctuary

With Candice Payne

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All across the globe SAVVY sisters are being asked to do MORE with a lot LESS. From homeroom to the boardroom, our dollars are being stretched further than ever before. We need our dollars to buy more while spending less! Chances are, if you’re a woman today, your calendar is filled and time is not your friend! So who has time to keep up with Jewelry Fashion Trends? ME! Luckily for you….SEPIA PRIME WOMAN, you have a budget friendly, personal shopper to keep you in style for a LOT LESS, and I’m just a “click” away! Keep in mind! Trends come and go, but there are a few looks that every woman must have in her jewelry box. I will personally help you choose the right look from each category! Layering Necklaces-Stud Earrings-Cocktail Rings-A statement NECKLACE-HOOPS-& Lot’s of stacking BRACELETS! While these must haves are basic, I will teach you how to build your collections with the many options we offer. We keep you fashion fabulous on a budget! YES! As long as the SEPIA PRIME WOMAN has the QUEEN of BLING there is always time for jewelry fashion trends and diva deals galore:

Choose Any 6 items Take HALF OFF the four most expensive items. Enter To Win A $250 Shopping Spree From lia Sophia TODAY! You can shop confidently knowing that each item you purchase has a Lifetime Replacement Guarantee!

To shop or discover our “Shop With The Pot” Fundraiser RAFFLES CLICK here : www.liasophia.com/Delisher

*BOLD TIP* Consider one of these pieces to go

With your Little Black Dress:

Does The SEPIA PRIME WOMAN Have Time For JEWELRY TRENDS?

By Delisher Bankole, AKA The QUEEN OF BLING

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What’s Your Fashion Profile? By Sharmeta Martin

Lace, sequins and a little sheer number are sure classics this holiday season. Add a touch of color, such as your green and red staple hues and ‘Tis the season surely will follow. Now go with us as we reveal the modern take on the classicist, naturalist, and romanticist; different in personality yet common in STYLE and all giving cheers to the little green bag. Which style is yours?

Classic Romanticist

Naturalist

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A modern take on all the essential classics; capes, lace, timepieces, and oxfords. Now she's ready for an after-five celebration, impromptu home gathering, or dinner with the girls.

The Classicist

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The Romanticist

Subtly revealing detail on the hemline of the skirt. Fitted cropped top. Sheer overlay. Sheer bootie. This is Romance at its edgiest.

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The Naturalist Any woman on the go will definitely understand the why. The sequined wide-leg pant and dazzling jeweled neckline on the sweatshirt offer a little sophistication to an effortless look. This is a true transformational look that can be worn day and night.

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