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CHAPTER THREE

Mud Learns to Agree

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Mud walked down the beach,

thinking about contradiction.

He imagined two fish in an argument,

with one fish saying “Yes,” and the other “No!”

How could a verb contradict a subject?

Then Mud heard a noise, a little noise,

a crickety-crickety-crickety in the grass,

and there, under some blades of grass,

was a cricket!

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“Hello,” said Mud. “My name is Mud.

What is your name?”

“Fidget,” replied the cricket. “Fidget, Fidget, Fidget.”

“What was that sound you made?” asked Mud.

“Oh, I was laughing,” said Fidget. “Forget it!”

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“Laughing?” said Mud.

“Yep,” said Fidget. “What’s it to you?”

Then he laughed again

with a squeaky “Crickety-crickety-crickety!”

“Well,” said Mud, “you have a nice laugh.”

“No, you don’t think so,” said Fidget.

“Oh, yes, I do,” said Mud.

“Nope,” said Fidget, “but I don’t care! Get it?

CRICKETY CRICKETY!”

Mud looked again at this tough little cricket.

“Do you realize,” said Mud, “that I am

ten times bigger than you are?”

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“Yep,” said Fidget. “You want to make something of it?”

This time it was Mud who laughed.

“No,” said Mud. “I’m trying to find sentences.”

“You don’t want to find sentences, forget it,” said Fidget.

“YES, I do!” said Mud.

“Then what are you doing on this side

of the island? Get it?” asked Fidget, “Crickety!”

“Looking,” said Mud. “I’m looking for sentences,

and trying to figure out how a verb

can contradict a subject.”

Fidget whirled around, and hid under the grass.

“Shhhhhh,” he said. “Quiet about that!”

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“You are the strangest bug I ever met,” said Mud.

“Did you just call ME a BUG?” asked Fidget.

“Sorry,” said Mud. “I won’t again, but

why should we be quiet about a verb

contradicting a subject?”

“Shhhh,” said Fidget. “Shhh...because

it is too horrible to mention! Get it?”

Then Fidget got very, very quiet,

and he whispered, “When a verb

contradicts a subject, it BREAKS a sentence!”

Fidget looked alarmed.

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“That’s it,” said Mud. “Now you are going to explain.”

“Say please, get it?” said Fidget.

“What?” said Mud, “I will not.”

“Yep, you will. Say please or your quest is toast.”

Mud struggled to keep his face straight.

“PLEASE,” he said. “Now TELL ME.”

“Look,” said Fidget, “a pelican are here.”

Mud looked up but saw nothing.

“Look!” said Fidget, “pelicans is here!”

Mud looked up but saw nothing.

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“Quit goofing around,” said Mud, “and

tell me how a verb can contradict a subject.”

“Please?”

“Please!”

“Crickety-crickety-crickety!” said Fidget, “but

look, a pelican are here.”

Mud looked up...nothing.

“You know, Fidget, I don’t know what you

are talking about. Do you mean

a pelican is here, or some pelicans are here?

I can’t tell what you are saying, at all.

Just tell me about contradiction.”

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“Crickety-crickety,” laughed Fidget,

“A pelican are here! Crickety! Get it?”

“Tell me!” cried Mud.

“Pelican are! Crickety!” cried Fidget.

“Please!” cried Mud.

“Pelicans is!” said Fidget, with determination.

And then, a light began to glow

in Mud’s fish-mind.

“Fidget,” he said, “you have been telling me,

haven’t you?”

“Yep!” said Fidget, “Crickety-crickety! Get it?”

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Fidget looked at Mud, whose name was Mud,

and his countenance became grave.

“Mud,” he whispered, “a contradiction

between the verb and its subject

is the worst thing that can happen to a sentence.

When I say pelican are or pelicans is,

that breaks the sentence at its very heart.

Get it: the subject and its verb-predicate

are the two main words, the two key words,

the two great get-it words

of the sentence. The other words

just help them out.

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“The whole sentence

has to communicate

what the subject is,

and what its predicate is.

Get it?

So if the subject and verb

don’t even agree with each other,

it’s horrible, horrible, most horrible!”

“Oooo,” said Mud, “I see, but

agree in what way?”

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“Plural and singular, get it?” said Fidget.

“What?” said Mud.

“I said, plural and singular,” said Fidget.

“I know what you said,

but I don’t understand,” said Mud.

“Then pay attention, get it?” said Fidget.

Mud took a deep breath; this little

cricket had an attitude.

“Yes, I promise,” said Mud, “but

tell me what you mean about

plural and singular.”

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“Look,” said Fidget, “a sentence is like this,”

and he drew in the sand with his fifth foot.

“A sentence has two main words, get it,

and they might have a lot of other noisy words

stuck to them, modifying and

joining, get it?”

subject predicate