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7/31/2019 Self-Advocates Becoming Empowered with Autism NOW May 22, 2012
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Agenda:
Compelling reasons why people with disabilities do not
disclose or report abuse
Mary Oschwald will described the Safer and StrongerProgram
Asking for Support - Sometimes friends and family
members want to be supportive, but theyre not sure
what to say or do. Heres a list of ways friends and family
can be supportive.
Self Care - Its important that you take care of yourself
when healing fromor living throughabusive
situations. Here are some ideas that may be useful to
you.
Peer-To-Peer Guide:
to know what abuse is
to know what to say and what to do when youhear about abusive situations.
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Barriers To Reporting Abuse
Some do not recognize their experience as abuse
The abuser may be a family member, staff person or
friend who provides essential care.
Abusers often damage, destroy, or take away equipment
that the person would need in order to escape or report.
There is, unfortunately, a great deal of shame when people
experience abuse. This can make it difficult to ask for help.
Fear of being institutionalized
Fear of having children taken away.
People with disabilities often fear they will not be believed
Many people with disabilities are reluctant to contact
agencies because of past bad experiences.
People who have mobility-related disabilities may not haveaccess to transportation options to get away from the abuser.
People with disabilities may lack options for pet care if they
leave their home.
People often fear mandatory reporting which may put
them at risk for escalated violence.
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Legal, Social & Cultural Barriers
There is an assumption that people with disabilities are non-
sexual or less sexual than others. (This, of course, is not true.)
Due to discriminatory attitudes, people with disabilities often
have fewer job opportunities, which can make self-sufficiencydifficult if they need to leave their home or start over.
Survivors with disabilities may have had bad experiences with
police officers, doctors, nurses, etc., and may be reluctant to
seek help.
Decreases in Social Security benefits or health insurance mayinfluence a persons decision to divorce an abusive partner.
If the person is an immigrant, they may be dependent on the
abusive spouse for citizenship status or immigration status.
Men with disabilities are less likely to report abuse based on
cultural norms of masculinity that create additional stigma
People are reluctant to ask for help when they know they will
be perceived and treated like children.
There is a lack of routine screening for violence in the lives of
people with disabilities.
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The Safer and Stronger Program
It uses a computer program to interview people with disabilities
about the sensitive topic of abuse. The program asks the questions
aloud. It also teaches the person about staying safe.
Many people who have used the program volunteered that it was
the first time they had been asked about abuse. We are not
suggesting that this computer based program should replace
people as interviewers and advocates. The Safer and StrongerProgram is an additional resource option for people to use to get
information and safety planning strategies.
The Safer and Stronger Program is confidential. This is an
important option for people with disabilities who are reluctant todisclose because they fear mandatory abuse-reporting laws.
The benefits of this program are people have a tool to identify
violence in their lives, and identify and access safety strategies and
support to save themselves from the often life-threatening
consequences of violence. 6
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Abuse Awareness - This topic is introduced by asking six
questions including, How much have you thought about
abuse?, and How much have you thought about ways
to be as safe from abuse as possible?
Abuse Screening - Questions about experiences with
abuse in the past year including, In the past year, has
anyone refused or forgotten to help with an important
personal need such as bathing, handled you roughly, or
touched you in a sexual way you did not want?
Risky Situations or Warning Signs - At this point, the
program goes has two different sets of questions
depending on a persons responses. One set of questions
is about factors that may increase risk for abuse. For
example, whether the abuser is someone a person
depends on for personal care, someone who drinks too
much, or someone who controls access to health care.
The other set of questions offers information about
warning signs for potential perpetrators, such as people
who want to control their daily activities.
The Safer and Stronger Program Covers These Issues
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Being Aware of Abuse and Staying Safe - This section is
designed to elicit self-reflection and provide violence
awareness information. A person learns about people
and places where they may find information about abuse
such as domestic violence shelters, crisis lines, disabilityorganizations, centers for independent living, the
Internet, and Adult Protective Services.
Build abuse safety skills. This section is used to assess a
persons knowledge about different safety skills, such as
how to choose and supervise personal assistants or
support people, learn self-defense skills, or set limits on
how people treat them.
Reach out to someone you can trust. Asks how many
people a person could reach out to, whether they have
actually talked to someone about personal safety,
whether they have developed a safety plan with
someone, and how much they have talked with people
about staying safe from abuse.
Have relationships that are good for you. These
questions stimulate thinking about relationship quality
and safety with other people. 8
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Take charge of your support. Questions regarding a
persons perceived safety and sense of control in
relation to their assistants, such as, How much do
you set limits in your relationships with personal
assistants?
Keep your money safe. Questions related to ways
money and finances can be kept safe. Examples
included, I have a bank account in my name, and I
have someone I can trust help me handle money.
Know your legal options. Questions in this
subsection ask, Have you ever talked with someone
who could help you apply for a stalking or restraining
order against an abuser? and How sure are you
that taking legal steps will increase your safety?
Plan for emergencies. The questions in this finalsubsection asked about making an actual safety
plan. Typical elements, such as having an extra set of
keys, important documents, having a back-up
personal assistant and extra medical equipment
(e.g., canes, catheter bags, medications) in a safeplace.
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Self Care - Its important to take care of yourself whenhealing fromor living throughabusive situations. Here
are some ideas. Remember, different things work for
different people. Try what appeals to you based on your
own abilities, likes and needs.
Paint, draw, sketch about how you are feelinggive it
shape, size, and color.
Keep a log of how youre feeling throughout the dayyou
may be feeling several conflicting emotions at once and
thats okay.
Express anger or frustration safely (such as hitting a
punching bag, screaming into your pillow or when youre
alone in your car, or ripping up cardboard).
Decorate a box and make it special to you. Write downfeelings or memories and put them in the box. It can be a
box for happy, safe feelings or a box where you put your sad
or angry thoughts. Decide if you want to have several boxes
for different emotions? Do you want to put all of your
emotional writings and drawings in the same box? Or would
it feel safer to destroy or throw away things youve written?
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Self CareKeep a list of resources that are helpful to you (names of
friends, numbers for hotlines, and so forth) in your pocket,
wallet, or purse.
Make a list of ten simple, free things you can do that make you
happy even if for just a momentsuch as walking barefoot in the
rain, lighting a candle, reading a particular poem, singing a
childhood song, telling a friend a joke, etc.
Many survivors are very hard on themselves & feel venting their
emotions is a waste of time. If experiencing your emotions is partof your healing process, then give yourself permission to cry, be
angry, vent your frustration, and express your grief. If necessary,
schedule time when you give yourself permission to do nothing
but cry or be angry or be happy.
Write yourself a letter as if you were your own best friend. Tellyourself all of the things you love and admire about yourself and
remind yourself to be patient and gentle with yourself. Mail the
letter to yourself if you think getting it in the mail will cheer you
up.
Draw on your natural strengths, talents, and hobbies to
determine other activities that feel healing and empowering.
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Asking for Support - Sometimes friends and family members
want to be supportive, but theyre not sure what to say or do.
They may attempt to ignore the situation for fear of saying the
wrong thing, or they may unintentionally say things that make
you feel worse. Heres a list of ways friends and family can be
supportive that you may want to share with people in your life.
Tell me its not my fault. I didnt deserve to be assaulted. What
happened to me was a crime.
Tell me you believe me.
Please listen without interrupting.
Please dont ask for details that Im not ready to share.
Please dont put me in a situation where I feel like I have to
comfort you.
Instead of telling me what to do, ask me what I need.Respect my confidentiality. Please dont talk to other people
about it without asking me first.
Be patient and understanding. Dont tell me to get over it. It
may take me months or years to recover from being abused.
Healing takes time, please respect my process.
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Asking for Support
Validate my emotionsI may feel rage, a deep sense of loss,
betrayal, confusion, or sadness. My feelings may change rapidly,
and thats okay.
Educate yourself on the issue. Seek out information so you canbe as informed as possible. Call a crisis line yourself to get the
support you may need in order to support me.
Dont tell me what I coulda done, shoulda done, or what
you woulda done. Telling me these things only makes it worse.
Please dont assume that you would have done anything
differently than I did, you dont know.
Please dont question how I handled the situation. I survived
which means I made the best decisions possible under extreme
conditions.
Dont make jokes or comments to lighten the situation.
Dont pretend it didnt happen. Please dont minimize the
experience in any way.
Please be honest with me about your limitations as a support
person.
Please know that I appreciate your concern and caring even
though I might not show it.
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Asking for Support
I may have personality changes as a result of the assault.
These changes may impact my relationships. I may relate to
you differently and, in response, you may need to relate to me
differently as well.
Please dont see me as a victim. Im a survivora strong,
courageous woman who is in the process of reclaiming my life.
This is a lot of information to remember when you are talking
to me. Just let me know that you care about me and that
youre doing the best you can.
Understand that what might have felt supportive to me
yesterday might not be what I need today, please be patient
and continue to ask me what I need to heal.
Supporting me may feel difficult or tiring, so please take care
of yourself, too. Hotlines at womens shelters can usually
offer you emotional support or refer you to places where you
can get the help you need in your own process. Some areas
offer support groups for friends and family members of
survivors.
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People with developmentaldisabilities can be more at riskfor abuse for many reasons.GMSA developed this guide to
support self-advocates, staff,members, volunteers, and alliesto know what domestic andsexual violence is and to know
what to say and what to do whenthey hear about abusive
situations.
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Peer-to-Peer Guide onDomestic & Sexual Violence
http://www.debkney.com/pdfs/GMSA_abuse.pdf
http://www.debkney.com/pdfs/GMSA_abuse.pdfhttp://www.debkney.com/pdfs/GMSA_abuse.pdf7/31/2019 Self-Advocates Becoming Empowered with Autism NOW May 22, 2012
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Ways To Respond When Someone
Talks To You About Abuse
As a peer
As a group of peers
As an state self-advocacy
organization16
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Ways To Increase Your Safety
Talk to a safe person about how you feel,even if you are afraid or ashamed
many people will understand
Talk to a safe person about how you
want to be treated in relationships
Learn about warning signs
Learn about safe relationships
Keep a list of resource numbers
and people you can call others?
Know and believe you have a right
to be treated with respect and care 17
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Creating A Peer-to-peer RelationshipFor Responding To Abuse
Who is a peer?
What does it take to be a peer?
What do peers do to be safe people?
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Peer Support
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Peer support can be offered in a variety of ways:Phone
Internet
In-person
Support Groups
Hot/Warm Lines
Etc.
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Definition Of Peer Support
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Peer support is:a system of giving
a system of receiving
built on respect, shared responsibility, mutualagreement of what is helpful
helpful to the person asking for support
helpful to the service system to provideco-advocacy
a trusting relationship
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Peer Experiences
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The peer has had similar experiences as the individualreceiving the peer support:
Dealing with discrimination
Dealing with victimization
Living with a disability or health concern
Using service systems (including crime victim
services)
Learning new information/tasksEtc.
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Peers are people who
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have a desire to support others are safe people
want to listen
are willing to set aside their own personal stories know about domestic violence and sexual assault
are available to you
do not give advice,
but offer
options and resources
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Peers are people who
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learn about resources for supporting survivorsof domestic violence and sexual assault
are willing to make a commitment to the self-
advocacy grouphave a way to communicate with others, such
as a phone, computer
have self-awareness and
know their own limits
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Parts Of A Policy For Supporting And
Training Peer Safe People
Recruiting peers who want to become safe people
Training peers who want to provide support as a safe
person
Supporting peer safe people so they do their job well
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Parts Of A Policy For Supporting
And Training Peer Safe People
Supporting a self-advocacy group to they can create a
community where domestic violence and sexual
assault is talked about
Supporting a self-advocacy group to teach other self-
advocacy group about what they have done to createpolicies and support peer safe people
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THE END
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http://www.pbase.com/marke/8_weeks7/31/2019 Self-Advocates Becoming Empowered with Autism NOW May 22, 2012
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Website:
www.autismnow.org
Information & Referral Call Center:
1-855-828-8476
Next Webinar:Tuesday, May 29, 2012, 2:00-3:00 PM, EDT
The Autism Societys Safe and Sound Initiative
PowerPoint/Recording:These materials will be provided to all attendees. Email Phuong
([email protected] ) to request additional materials.
http://www.autismnow.org/http://www.autismnow.org/mailto:[email protected]:[email protected]:[email protected]://www.autismnow.org/http://www.autismnow.org/