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LEAD Learning Seminar D

SE Minnesota, Cohort 1, Seminar D

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Permission to Reproduce

This guide may be reproduced for use in the Southeastern Minnesota Synod with covenanted congregations that are part of the LEAD Journey. All other reproduction is a violation of LEAD’s intellectual property.

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LEAD Learning Seminar D T

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We’ve noticed a pattern. Ministries often look like their leaders.

• Growing ministries are led by growing leaders.

• Generous ministries are led by generous leaders.

• Prayerful ministries are led by prayerful leaders. You get the picture. As leaders, we often feel like our attitudes are effected by our ministry. I’m stressed because there is conflict in the ministry. I’m relaxed because things are going well. I’m tired because there is too much going on. But what if the opposite is true? What if we find our attitude first and that then shapes our ministry? Hold on to that thought for a minute. We hear throughout Scripture

that the Christian life is marked by joy. And if that is true, one would expect that Christian leadership would also be marked by joy. As we have listened to leaders, we know that many of you are tired. This year, we want to help you rediscover your joy. Real joy. Your joy. A joy that isn’t dependent on whether your board meeting goes well or poorly, on whether you meet your budget numbers or not, on what last Sunday’s attendance was. Because when you find your joy, you will lead with joy. When you lead with joy, it will infect your ministry with joy. When your ministry is joyful, the people you minister with are more likely to experience joy. And joyful people transform communities.

Behold, I bring you good news of great joy!

Day / Time Cohort 2—Seminar B Cohort 1—Seminar D Friday

5:00p Welcome & Intros—all Welcome & Intros—all

5:30 Sacred Meal—all Sacred Meal—all

6:30 1. Storytelling—Sharing—Jane 1. Faithful Metrics—Rozella

7:15 2. Spiritual Leadership—Rozella 2. Storytelling—Sharing—Jane

8:00 Spiritual Pilgrims —Jim Spiritual Pilgrims—Jim

8:30 Rest Rest

Saturday

9:00a Spiritual Pilgrims—Jane Spiritual Pilgrims—Jane

9:30 3. Personal Spiritual Type—Rozella 3. Adult Faith Formation —Jim

10:45 4. The Tune In Process, Steps 5-7—Rozella 4. Congregational Coaching—Jim / Jane

12:00 Lunch Lunch

12:30 Workshop Sessions Workshop Sessions

1:15 5. Listening & Mapping Practices —Rozella 5. Congregational Coaching—Jim / Jane

2:15 6. Next Steps—Jane 6. Next Steps—Jim

3:00 Spiritual Pilgrims—Rozella Spiritual Pilgrims—Rozella

3:30 Buen Camino Buen Camino

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LEAD Learning Seminar D Descriptions

The Sacred Meal—We are part of a movement of Christian leaders This meal is a LEAD ritual used to begin all of our Learning Seminars. This experience connects us to each other using practices similar to those of the early church who gathered for a meal and to remember Jesus. Session I: Faithful Metrics—How do you measure the ministry without missing the moments? This is a sneak preview of LEAD’s new book, Faithful Metrics. Discover why counting bodies and bucks is not enough to move your leaders forward in mission. Learn how to measure transformation by integrating stories as metrics into the life of your congregation. Session 2: Sharing Stories—How’s it going? Using resources from Conversational Intelligence, this session provides space to hear stories and learn from peers in the cohort. Friday Night: Spiritual Pilgrims—Praying together We are people that pray. Prayers take many forms. We will use the ancient practice of the Examen. Session 3: Adult Faith Formation

Growing congregations are deepening adult discipleship. This session will focus on supporting the faith formation of people of all ages by growing the faith of the adults. Session 4: Individual Congregational Coaching Meet one-on-one with a LEAD Coach to work with the unique needs of your congregation’s ministry.

Communications Workshops—Choose one of these opportunities to increase your capacity as a communicator: Conversational Intelligence

A trained coach will draw on the work of Judith Glaser in her book Conversational Intelligence to introduce you to your 5 blind spots and give you tools for your own Conversational Dashboard.

Telling Our Stories Learn and practice an effective pattern for sharing your faith story with anyone. This session will build your confidence for talking about God moving in your life. Sharing your faith is easier than you think.

Session 5: Individual Congregational Coaching This session builds on Session 4, equipping you to lead change in your context. Session 6: Next Steps Set your goals, build a calendar and to do list for the next six months. Leave this event with an action plan that sets your congregation up for success. Saturday Afternoon: Spiritual Pilgrims— Consequential Faith

The courage to lead grows out of a faith that matters.

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The Sacred Meal Welcome and Explanation of Meal (Presider & Host) The Sacred Meal that is part of our faith does more than connect us to the holy. It connects us to each other. We will practice table fellowship in a way that the early Christians would have gathered in homes, to be together in Christian community. Jesus wanted his disciples, and everyone who came after him, to remember what they had together. What they made together. What it meant to be together. How the things he did could

not have been done without them. In this way, we are part of the earliest movements of the Christian faith. Sharing of Peace (Host) The peace is shared by table: Each person shares a portion of their day that has been meaningful to them. It is good to reflect on the question: Where have I experienced God’s presence in this day? The table leader leads the table in saying “The peace of Christ be with you,” the sharer responds by saying “and also with you.” Sharing of the Bread (Presider) Presider: On the night before Jesus was to die, he gathered together with his friends for dinner. And on that night, he took the bread, broke it, and gave it to them saying, “Take and eat, this is my body, which is given for you. Do this in remembrance of me.” And so tonight, we do the same. We take bread, break it, and give it to one another with those sacred words, “The body of Christ given for you.” Post-Bread Blessing (Presider) Presider: Be strengthened this night by the presence of Christ made known to you in the bread and in one another. Amen. Invitation to Meal (Presider) An invitation to the meal and explanation of food and family style etiquette is given. We are encouraged to serve each other. The host reads the assigned text for the day and the questions for meal conversation are shared. Post-Meal Prayer (Host) After the meal, the community prays The Lord’s Prayer. Sharing of Cup (Presider) Presider: When supper had ended that night, Jesus took the cup, gave thanks, and gave it to them saying, “This cup is the new covenant in my blood, shed for you and all people for the forgiveness of sin. Do this as often as you drink in remembrance of me.” And so tonight, we take the cup of wine, and we give it to one another with those sacred words, “The blood of Christ shed for you.” Post-Wine Blessing (Presider) Presider: Now that you have tasted the goodness of God in bread and wine, let us be the body of Christ, blessed and broken for the whole world. Amen.

Adapted from The Sacred Meal: The Ancient Practices Series by Nora Gallagher

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Philip and the Ethiopian Eunuch Acts 8:26-40 26 Then an angel of the Lord said to Philip, “Get up and go toward the south to the road that goes down from Jerusalem to Gaza.” (This is a wilderness road.) 27 So he got up and went. Now there was an

Ethiopian eunuch, a court official of the Candace, queen of the Ethiopians, in charge of her entire treasury. He had come to Jerusalem to worship28 and was returning home; seated in his chariot, he was reading the prophet Isaiah. 29 Then the Spirit said to Philip, “Go over to this chariot and join it.” 30 So Philip ran up to it and heard him reading the prophet Isaiah. He asked, “Do you understand what you are reading?” 31 He replied, “How can I, unless someone guides me?” And he invited Philip to get in and sit beside him. 32 Now the passage of the scripture that he was reading was this: “Like a sheep he was led to the slaughter, and like a lamb silent before its shearer, so he does not open his mouth.33 In his humiliation justice was denied him. Who can describe his generation? For his life is taken away from the earth.” 34 The eunuch asked Philip, “About whom, may I ask you, does the prophet say this, about himself or about someone else?” 35 Then Philip began to speak, and starting with this scripture, he proclaimed to him the good news about Jesus. 36 As they were going along the road, they came to some water; and the eunuch said, “Look, here is water! What is to prevent me from being baptized?” 38 He commanded the chariot to stop, and both of them, Philip and the

eunuch, went down into the water, and Philip

baptized him. 39 When they came up out of the water, the Spirit of the Lord snatched Philip away; the eunuch saw him no more, and went on his way rejoicing. 40 But Philip found himself at Azotus, and as he was passing through the region, he proclaimed the good news to all the towns until he came to Caesarea.

Peter and Cornelius Acts 10:1-36 In Caesarea there was a man named Cornelius, a centurion of the Italian Cohort, as it was called. 2 He was a devout man who feared God with all his household; he gave alms generously to the people and prayed constantly to God. 3 One afternoon at about three o’clock he had a vision in which he clearly saw an angel of God coming in and saying to him, “Cornelius.” 4 He stared at him in terror and said, “What is it, Lord?” He answered, “Your prayers and your alms have ascended as a memorial before God. 5 Now send men to Joppa for a certain Simon who is called Peter; 6 he is lodging with Simon, a tanner, whose house is by the seaside.” 7 When the angel who spoke to him had left, he called two of his slaves and a devout soldier from the ranks of those who served him,8 and after telling them everything, he sent them to Joppa. 9 About noon the next day, as they were on their journey and approaching the city, Peter went up on the roof to pray. 10 He became hungry and wanted something to eat; and while it was being prepared, he fell into a trance. 11 He saw the heaven opened

LEAD Learning Seminar D Cohort 1

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and something like a large sheet coming down, being lowered to the ground by its four corners. 12 In it were all kinds of four-footed creatures and reptiles and birds of the air. 13 Then he heard a voice saying, “Get up, Peter; kill and eat.” 14 But Peter said, “By no means, Lord; for I have never eaten anything that is profane or unclean.” 15 The voice said to him again, a second time, “What God has made clean, you must not call profane.”16 This happened three times, and the thing was suddenly taken up to heaven. 17 Now while Peter was greatly puzzled about what to make of the vision that he had seen, suddenly the men sent by Cornelius appeared. They were asking for Simon’s house and were standing by the gate. 18 They called out to ask whether Simon, who was called Peter, was staying there. 19 While Peter was still thinking about the vision, the Spirit said to him, “Look, three men are searching for you. 20 Now get up, go down, and go with them without hesitation; for I have sent them.” 21 So Peter went down to the men and said, “I am the one you are looking for; what is the reason for your coming?” 22 They answered, “Cornelius, a centurion, an upright and God-fearing man, who is well spoken of by the

whole Jewish nation, was directed by a holy angel to send for you to come to his house and to hear what you have to say.” 23 So Peter invited them in and gave them lodging. The next day he got up and went with them, and some of the believers from Joppa accompanied him. 24 The following day they came to Caesarea. Cornelius was expecting them and had called together his relatives and close friends. 25 On Peter’s arrival Cornelius met him, and falling at his feet, worshiped him. 26 But Peter made him get up, saying, “Stand up; I am only a mortal.” 27 And as he talked with him, he went in and found that many had assembled; 28 and he said to them, “You yourselves know that it is unlawful for a Jew to associate with or to visit a Gentile; but God has shown me that I should not call anyone profane or unclean. 29 So when I was

sent for, I came without objection. Now may I ask why you sent for me?”

30 Cornelius replied, “Four days ago at this very hour, at three o’clock, I was praying in my house when suddenly a man in dazzling clothes stood before me. 31 He said, ‘Cornelius, your prayer has been heard and your alms have been remembered before God. 32 Send therefore to Joppa and ask for Simon, who is called Peter; he is staying in the home of Simon, a tanner, by the sea.’ 33 Therefore I sent for you immediately, and you have been kind enough to come. So now all of us are here in the presence of God to listen to all that the Lord has commanded you to say.” 34 Then Peter began to speak to them: “I truly understand that God shows no partiality, 35 but in every nation anyone who fears him and does what is right is acceptable to him. 36 You know the message he sent to the people of Israel, preaching peace by Jesus Christ—he is Lord of all.

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“The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one. Love the Lord your

God with al l your heart and with al l your soul and with al l your mind and with al l your strength.’ The second is this:

‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no commandment greater than these.” - Mark 12: 29-31 NIV

LEAD’s Four Growth Indicators for Vital Behaviors

Each LEAD Journey has a ten-step process that may be accompanied by a professional coach to successfully take on new behaviors for growth in

discipleship and to join in God’s mission.

Loving God with all of our heart calls us to listen—The Tune In Process

Listen to God in scripture, in prayer, in the congregation, and in the neighborhood

Shift from inward to outward focus

Launch experiments with new learnings and partners

Loving God with all of our soul calls us to center—The Wake Up Process

Clarify congregational purpose and values

Align congregation for mission

Articulate congregational identity

Loving God with all our mind calls us to explore—The Dig Down Process

Deepen Christian frame and theology through Bible Study

Streamline systems for strategic ministry, includes staffing and governance

Increase commitment and generosity

Loving God with all of our strength calls us to connect—The Work Out Process

Create trust to extend hospitality with openness for diversity

Expand comfort zone through strong relational connections

Tell the congregation’s story through effective communication

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What impact do the changing relational rings have on deep, sustainable relationships? What are the fears, concerns or threats created by the new operating system?

Notes:

Lord, we pray we never find ourselves without hope, without a glimpse of the empty tomb each time we happen upon a cross. Help us begin our daily journey expecting both crosses and empty tombs and rejoicing when we encounter either because we know you are with us. Amen.

Session 1: Faithful Metrics

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Notes: Things I am hearing or learning that I don’t want to forget

Session 2: Storytelling

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LEVEL I LEVEL II LEVEL III

Purpose

Transactional

Exchange Information

Confirm what you know

Positional

Exchange Power

Defend what you know

Transformational

Exchan

ge Energy

Discover what you don’t know

Blind spot

and

Overuse

Tell-Sell-Yell

Tendency towards telling more than asking

Addicted to Being Right

Tendency to ask questions for which you have the answers

All Talk, No Action

Tendency for too much talk and no action

Blind Spot #1

Assuming everyone thinks like me.

An assumption that others see what we see, feel what we feel, and think what we think.

Blind Spot #2

Feelings change our reality. The failure to realize that fear, trust, and distrust change how we see and interpret reality, and therefore how we talk about it.

Blind Spot #3

I am too fearful to empathize.

An inability to stand in each other’s shoes when we are fearful or upset.

Blind Spot #4

I remember, therefore I know.

The assumption that we remember what others say when we actually remember what we think about what others say.

Blind Spot #5

I am listening so I actually know what you really mean.

The assumption that meaning resides in the speaker, when in fact it resides in the listener.

Blindspots

Conversational Matrix

Conversational Dashboard Session 2: Storytelling—Conversational Intelligence by Judith Glaser

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Ref lections from the day:

Spiritual Pilgrims

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Attachment Theory in Adults by Jim Merhaut, coachingtoconnect.com

“The best thing to hold onto in life is

each other.” – Audrey Hepburn

This essay provides a brief overview of the highlights in the development of

adult attachment theory. In 1760, a Spanish bishop who observed children in an orphanage noted in his diary, “In the foundling home the child becomes sad and many of them die from sadness.” Others observed a similar pattern of abandoned children struggling to thrive and survive over the next two centuries, but the prevailing theory of childhood in the 18th and 19th centuries was that they were not fully human, not capable of feeling the pain of abandonment or the bonds of affection. Few suspected that children were starving for love. Their sadness and death must be attributed to some other cause. It wasn’t until the 1950s that the British psychologist,

John Bowlby, developed his theory of child attachment. Children require an adult attachment figure, typically the mother who creates emotional safety, in order to survive and thrive. According to the theory, no human child can live or fully function without healthy emotional attachment. Harry Harlow advanced Bowlby’s theories with his famous rhesus monkey experiments in the 1960s showing that juvenile monkeys, like children, prefer affection even more than food as a survival coping mechanism. While Bowlby believed that adults have the same attachment needs as children, he did not get the chance to develop that part of the theory. He died in

1990 with his work unfinished, but other theorists picked up where he left off. In the mid 1980s Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver of the University of Denver began applying Bowlby’s theory to adult love. They concluded that love and loneliness are emotional processes that serve biological functions. Human beings are wired for emotional attachment to other human beings. We really need each other and the need does not decrease with age and maturity. While theorists slowly embraced Bowlby’s idea that children need their parents, they were slower to accept that adults have attachment needs as well. The preferred theory of mature adulthood characterized by the strong, independent and differentiated adult has been slow to die, but attachment research is expanding and consistently pointing to a portrait of adult development that is dependent upon emotional attachment across the lifespan. Healthy and thriving adults are attached adults who are emotionally expressive and open to emotional support. Living with prolonged interpersonal ambivalence or avoidance, on the other hand, contributes to human suffering on physical,

social and emotional levels. The explosion of Positive Psychology in the second half of the twentieth century, based upon the pioneering work of Abraham Maslow, is propelling attachment theory as a central piece of how we understand human thriving. Positive Psychology, also known as the Science of Happiness, has shifted the focus of psychology from pathology to strengths. Rather than studying those who are struggling, Positive Psychology takes its cues from those who are thriving and develops principles and practices to assist those who want significant forward movement or personal growth in their lives.

Session 3: Adult Faith Formation

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Positive Psychology promotes adult attachment as a core principle. Studies consistently find that the happiest and most successful adults are those who have secure emotional attachments. At the conclusion of a 75-year, 20-million dollar longitudinal study of happiness in men, Harvard researcher, Georgy Vaillant, summarized his findings in five words: “Happiness is Love. Full stop.” Other key researchers in this area have been Martin Seligman, University of Pennsylvania; Robert Kegan, Harvard University; Susan Johnson, Alliant International University; John and Julie Gottman, The Gottman Institute; Daniel Levinson, Yale University.

Footnotes: Karen, Robert. Becoming Attached: First Relationships and how They Shape Our Capacity to Love, New York: Oxford University Press, 1994. p. 15. Hazan, Cindy and Shaver, Phillip. “Romantic Love Conceptualized as an Attachment Process,” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 1987, Vol. 52, No. 3, 511-524. Stossel, Scott. “What Makes Us Happy, Revisited: A New Look at the Famous Harvard Study of What Makes People Thrive,” The Atlantic, May, 2013, Accessed successfully on 11/13/15 at http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/05/thanks-mom/309287/.

Session 3: Adult Faith Formation

Copyright © Jim Merhaut, www.CoachingToConnect.com, 2017. All rights served. Used with permission.

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Notes and Ref lections:

Session 3: Adult Faith Formation

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Notes and Ref lections:

Session 4: Congregational Coaching

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LEVEL I LEVEL II LEVEL III

Purpose

Transactional

Exchange Information

Confirm what you know

Positional

Exchange Power

Defend what you know

Transformational

Exchange Energy

Discover what you don’t know

Blind spot

and

Overuse

Tell-Sell-Yell

Tendency towards telling more than asking

Addicted to Being Right

Tendency to ask questions for which you have the answers

All Talk, No Action

Tendency for too much talk and no action

Blind Spot #1

Assuming everyone thinks like me.

An assumption that others see what we see, feel what we feel, and think what we think.

Blind Spot #2

Feelings change our reality. The failure to realize that fear, trust, and distrust change how we see and interpret reality, and therefore how we talk about it.

Blind Spot #3

I am too fearful to empathize.

An inability to stand in each other’s shoes when we are fearful or upset.

Blind Spot #4

I remember, therefore I know.

The assumption that we remember what others say when we actually remember what we think about what others say.

Blind Spot #5

I am listening so I actually know what you really mean.

The assumption that meaning resides in the speaker, when in fact it resides in the listener.

Blind spots

Conversational Matrix

Conversational Dashboard

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Success Exercise

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Workshop – Telling Our Stories Faith sharing is a way of describing spiritual transformation. Christian transformation is both initial and ongoing. Our initial transformation or change by Christ is celebrated in Baptism. But that is not the only experience of transformation we have. We experience smaller changes within our life of faith. These smaller changes are often shared through storytelling.

From – Through – To The basic structure of Christian transformation, according to Adrian Van Kaam and Susan Muto, can be understood as FROM – THROUGH – TO. When we change, we move FROM one way of being in relationship with God and others TO another way of being in relationship with God and others. Finally, we go THROUGH a wide range of experiences as we move FROM the one way of being TO the new way of being. The THROUGH is the main body of a faith story. Here are some examples of what a Christian person might change from and change to:

There are five essential ingredients to a complete and authentic Christian transformation experience. These ingredients, shown in the diagram below, are expressed in the content of a good faith story. They are ingredients in the soup of Christian transformation as one moves from – through – and to new life in Christ.

From… To… Judgmental Merciful Depressed Joy-filled Foolish Wise

Selfish Generous Empty Fulfilled Gluttonous Temperate Entitled Grateful Fearful Courageous Short-tempered Patient Uncaring Compassionate

Copyright © Jim Merhaut, www.CoachingToConnect.com, 2017. All rights served. Used with permission.

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Tel l your story Think about one significant transformation that has happened in your life. Describe in a single phrase how you transformed FROM one way of being in relationship with God and others TO a new way of being in relationship with God and others.

I was transformed FROM _______________________________ TO ___________________________________.

As you moved THROUGH the process of transformation… How was an experience of love the foundation for your transformation? Who inspired your transformation? Which Gospel stories, sayings, or themes connect with your transformation? How did your experience of community deepen because of your transformation?

How has your Christian mission matured or developed because of your transformation?

Workshop—Telling Our Stories

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Notes and Ref lections:

Session 5: Congregational Coaching

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Session 6: Next Steps

Month / Season

Already on the Map LEAD Journey Communication

May 2017

June 2017

July 2017

August 2017

September 2017

October 2017

Learning Seminar E

November 2017

December 2017

Christmas

January 2018

February 2018

March 2018

April 2018

Learning Seminar F

May 2018

June 2018

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Session 6: Next Steps—The Next 15 Weeks

Week of Action Plan

April 30

May 7

May 14

May 21

May 28 Memorial Day Weekend

June 4

June 11

June 18

June 25

July 2

July 9

July 16

July 23

July 30

August 6

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Next Steps wit h your LEAD C oach and Notes

Session 6: Next Steps

Resources to Check Out: 1. Your LEAD Webpage is located at waytolead.org. Go to the client tab, click on your synod’s name and use

your password to access all the resources from this seminar and other tools to support your leadership. Your password is: semn

2. For your personal devotions, we recommend daily posts from the Center for Action and Contemplation

written by Fr. Richard Rohr.

3. For your personal, family, and staff reflection, we recommend using the practice of Dwelling in the Word

or Daily Gratitude.