Scalzi on Writing

8/12/2019 Scalzi on Writing

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You're Not Fooling Anyone When YouTake Your Laptop to a Coffee Shop:

Scalzi on Writing

John Scalzi


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Subterranean Press 2007You're Not Fooling Anyone When You Take Your Laptop to a o!!ee Shop"S#al$i on Writing

opyright 2007 by %ohn S#al$i& All rights resere(&

First )(ition*S+N ,0" ,-./0-01-*S+N ,1" /7-,-./0-01-

Subterranean PressP3 +o4 ,/0,0+urton5 6* .,/888&subterraneanpresso9


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Introuction! an Ca"eat #$ptor!

:i there&

This is a book about 8riting& +ut; *t is not a book about how to 8rite& trying to tell othersho8 they shoul( 8rite see9s !raught 8ith peril& 6y only real a(i#e to you in that regar(is to !in( a ni#e5 strenuous #o9position #lass so you (on't get trippe( up by thelaughable 9ess that is )nglish language gra99ar5 an( then 8rite an( 8rite an( 8ritean( 8rite5 an( then 8rite so9e 9ore& That's 8hat 8orke( !or 9e5 so !ar as * #an tell&

So there" i! you 8ere looking !or 9y a(i#e on ho8 to 8rite5 you're (one; That 8aseasy& Set this book (o8n an( go about your li!e& * look !or8ar( to rea(ing your books&

This is about eerything else to (o 8ith 8riting5 !ro9 the business o! 8riting5 to thestupi( things 8riters (o to sabotage the9seles5 to ho8 8riters intera#t 8ith other

8riters5 to arious thoughts about the (i!!erent sorts o! 8riting out there& *n short5 it'sabout the 8riting life?or at the ery least5 my 8riting li!e5 8hi#h is the one * a9 9ost@uali!ie( to (is#uss&

The essays you'll rea( in this book are entries that * hae 8ritten oer a !ie yearperio( !ro9 200, to early 200B on 9y personal Web site5 the Whateerhttp"CCs#al$io9C8hateerB& During this ti9e *'e 8ritten an(Cor publishe( an(Cor signe(#ontra#ts !or ten books5 8rote !or ne8spapers an( 9aga$ines5 8as pai( to blog an(8rite online5 an( 8rote lots o! anony9ous but stupi(ly lu#ratie #orporate 8ork& *t's beenan interesting ti9e in 9y 8riting li!e5 an( through all o! it *'e been posting 9y thoughtsabout 8riting an( my 8ritingB online&

Sin#e these entries are tie( in to 9y pro!essional 8riting li!e to a greater or lessere4tent5 they ten( to be pra#ti#al-9in(e(> not so 9u#h about the art o! 8riting as the

practice o! it& As * say a nu9ber o! pla#es in the book5 * loe 8riting but *'9 notespe#ially ro9anti# about it& *t's grooy to talk about 8riting as this great thing5 but 9y9ortgage is (ue at the !irst o! the 9onth5 an( paying that is a great thing5 too& This is o!!-putting to so9e !olks> * totally un(erstan( that& This probably 8on't be your kin( o! booki! these pra#ti#al aspe#ts o! the 8riting li!e (on't hol( 9u#h interest to you&

3n the other han(5 i! you are intereste( in 8hat it's like to be a !ull-ti9e 8orking


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8riter here in the !irst sli#e o! the t8enty-!irst #entury5 * think there'll be a lot !or you here&* (on't kno8 about anyone else 8ho 8rites !or a liing5 but *'e been haing a hell o! alot o! fun these last !e8 years (oing this =ob& *t's a goo( an( e4#iting ti9e to be a 8riter5an( * think that #o9es through& At the ery least5 * guarantee you that i! * hae 9anage(to trans9it hal! o! 8hat being a 8riter is like these (ays5 you 8on't be bore( rea(ing this&

E E EThis book is organi$e( ery loosely into !our #hapters& The !irst #hapter is a#tual

8riting a(i#e5 be#ause een though this isn't a book on ho8 to 8rite5 i! you are 8riting5there's lots to say about it& The se#on( #hapter is about the 8riting li!e?* 8rite a lotabout 9oney there& The thir( #hapter is on 8riters5 an( 9ostly about 8riters (oingstupi( things& Think o! this #hapter largely as #autionary tales& The !inal #hapter is abouts#ien#e !i#tion5 the genre in 8hi#h * 8rote al9ost all o! 9y !i#tion so !ar& ea( it een i!you (on't rea( s#ien#e !i#tion> a lot o! 8hat's 8ritten about there is appli#able a#rossgenres&

The entries in these #hapters skip ba#k an( !orth a#ross ti9e?they're arrange(

9ostly !or !lo8 an( !or interest& Lots o! topi#s 8ill get e4plore( but * suspe#t so9e topi#s8ill not al8ays be e4plore( to eeryone's satis!a#tion?there's only so 9u#h spa#e an(so 9any things to #oer& +ut * 8rite at the Whateer on a #lose to (aily basis?i! there'sso9ething about 8riting you'( like to ask 9e5 you #an al8ays (rop 9e an e-9ail=ohnGs#al$io9B an( 9aybe *'ll 8rite about it there& *! * get enough @uestions5 9aybe*'ll be able to #rank out a se@uel to this in 20,0& )eryone 8ins&

* hope you en=oy the book& Thanks !or rea(ing&

?%ohn S#al$i %anuary 25 200&

%eicate to Laurence &c&illin (ho i! not here to kno()An to %aniel &ainz (ho i!*


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C+A,T#- .N#:Writing A"ice or A"oiing -eal Work

The John Scalzi Way

* ha( the H*'9 gonna be a 8riterH epiphany 8hen * 8as in 9y !irst year in high s#hool5an( reali$e( so9ething i9portant5 8hi#h 8as that !or 9e 8riting 8as easy 8hileeerything else 8as a#tual 8ork& So9eone else 8ith 9ore personal !ortitu(e 9ight haebrushe( asi(e his or her li9itations an( (one so9ething else 8ith their li!e5 but as !or9e * !ollo8e( the path o! least resistan#e an( be#a9e a 8riter& +e#ause5 9an5 *'e seenother people (o real 8ork5 an( * hae to say" real 8ork su#ks&

+ut no85 ,. years into the 8hole H8riting #areerH thing5 *'9 here to tell you that * 8as#ruelly (e#eie( by 9y o8n atte9pts at sloth" Turns out 8riting?i! you a#tually 8ant to9ake a liing !ro9 it5 an( * (o?really is a#tual 8ork& Naturally 8hen * (is#oere( this *8as appalle( an( (is9aye(5 but sin#e at the ti9e * 8as too !ar into the 8riting hole to be

@uali!ie( to (o any other sort o! 8ork that (i(n't inole a pri#e #he#k or rea(ing atele9arketing s#ript 8hi#h is een more like real 8ork than 8hat * 8as (oingB5 * ha( no#hoi#e but to #ontinue &

Fortunately5 oerall things hae turne( out pretty 8ell !or 9e so !ar 8ith this 8ritingthing *'e got going& +y the en( o! 200 *'ll hae publishe( eleen books5 !i#tion an(non-!i#tion both5 an( asi(e !ro9 that *'ll hae 8ritten =ust about eery sort o! #o99er#ial8riting there is to 8rite sae !or a 9oie s#ript that's a spe#ial sort o! hellish en(eaor *suspe#t * 8oul( nee( to start (rinking in or(er to #onte9plateB& So5 i! you're looking !ora(i#e on ho8 to break into :olly8oo(" Sorry& he#k 8ith obert 6#Iee& * hear he'sgoo(&

+ut as !or the rest o! it5 here are 9y thoughts5 in a(i#e-like !or9?in(ee(5 9u#h o!

this #hapter takes the !or9 o! nu9bere( lists an( bullet points5 8hi#h is your assuran#eo! @uality a(i#e& * suppose * #oul( hae gone 8hole hog an( 9a(e this entire #hapter aPo8erpoint presentation& +ut then so9eone 8oul( hae ha( to kill 9e& +esi(es5 *'ll saethat !or 9y series o! le#tures on 8riting at the Learning Anne4& You'll #o9e5 8on't youJ

A#tually5 here's a (is#lai9er that you 8on't get !ro9 the 8riting guy (o8n at theLearning Anne4" With this a(i#e5 your 9ileage 9ay ary * repeat this little ti(bit in theentries the9selesB& There are in !a#t 9any5 9any 8ays to hae a happy an( su##ess!ul8riting #areer& This is ho8 * (i( it an( 8hat * re#o99en( others (o& So9e o! it 9ay 8ork


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!or you& So9e o! it 9ay not& You're a s9art person> you kno8 8hat's going on in yourli!e an( your #areer& Take the stu!! that's use!ul !or you an( use it& Ii#k the rest to the#urb&

:ere 8e go&


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John Scalzi'! /tterly /!ele!! WritingA"ice

0.cto1er 2334 an upate !ince5

People are al8ays asking 9e !or a(i#e on ho8 to be#o9e a 8riter5 be#ause theyassu9e ha;B that * a9 a su##ess!ul 8riter& 6y psy#hologi#al an( egotisti#al nee(sbeing 8hat they are5 * 8on't argue this point& * a95 in !a#t5 a !airly su##ess!ul 8riter5 i!you (e!ine su##ess as H9aking a goo( liing (oing nothing but 8riting&H * (o 9ake agoo( liing> * (on't (o anything else !or a liing but 8rite& *! you (e!ine su##ess asHbeing Stephen Iing5H o! #ourse5 *'9 a 9iserable !reakin' !ailure& +ut let's not&B

*'e been a pro!essional 8riter sin#e %une o! ,//05 8hen * got 9y !irst pai( 8riting=ob as an intern !or the San Diego Tribune5 8here * 8rote 9usi# an( #on#ert reie8s

an( other entertain9ent pie#es& That 8as the su99er be!ore 9y senior year in #ollege>8hen * got ba#k to #ollege5 * 8rote !reelan#e entertain9ent arti#les !or the Chicago Sun-Times& A!ter #ollege5 * got?!ar 9ore through an a9a$ing stroke o! lu#k an( the !a#t that* 8as (irt #heap than by 9y o8n talents5 let's be #lear?a =ob as the 9oie #riti# !or theFresno Bee& * (i( that !or !ie years5 a!ter 8hi#h * =oine( A3L as its on-sta!! 8riter an(e(itor& A3L lai( 9e o!! in ,// this is a polite 8ay o! saying * 8as !ire(5 sin#e it 8as alayo!! o! oneB an( * be#a9e a !reelan#e 8riter& *'e been (oing this eer sin#e&

+eing a !reelan#e 8riter is interesting an( not really a goo( thing !or people 8ho(on't en=oy a per9anent sense o! pani#& +e that as it 9ay5 it's (one ery 8ell !or 9eboth !inan#ially as a !reelan#er * 9ake a healthy 9ultiple o! 8hat * eer 9a(e 8orking!ull-ti9e !or anyoneB an( #areer-8ise5 sin#e * no8 8rite !luently on @uite a nu9ber o!

sub=e#ts5 in#lu(ing entertain9ent5 hu9or5 personal !inan#e5 online 9e(ia5 s#ien#e5politi#s an( een !oo( an( gar(ening&

* 8rite !or online #lients an( !or o!!line #lients& * #onsult 8ith 9arketing #o9panies on8riting an( #reatie issues5 an( hae 8orke( on 9arketing #a9paigns !or ery large#orporations an( !inan#ial institutions you'e (e!initely hear( o!& *'e ha( seeral bookspublishe(5 #ontribute( to others an( hae 9ore in the pipeline5 an( * look !or8ar( to8riting books o!! an( on !or the rest o! 9y pro!essional li!e&


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*n short5 *'e rea#he( a point in 9y #areer 8here * (o !eel #on!i(ent about 9y abilityto 9ake a liing 8riting5 an( * !eel #on!i(ent sharing so9e o! 9y thoughts an(e4perien#es on the 9atter&

So& What !ollo8s is e4a#tly that" 9y thoughts on the 8riting li!e?largely !ro9 the!reelan#e 8riting perspe#tie?an( ho8 to lie it& +ear in 9in( that these #o99ents are

base( solely on 9y o8n thoughts an( e4perien#es an( 9ay not =ibe 8ith anything elseyou'e hear( any8here !ro9 anyone else& Also bear in 9in( that * 9ay be #o9pletely!ull o! #rap& 3n the other han(5 an( * say this as (ispassionately as possible5 * 9ake abuttloa( o! 9oney (oing 8hat * (o5 so * 9ust be (oing something right& *! you #an !igureout 8hat it is5 please be sure to tell 9e&

So ho8 9u#h (o * a#tually 9akeJ *'9 not going to gie a (ollar a9ount& :o8eer5 *8ill say that the K,& trillion ta4 #ut an( ta4 rate !lattening


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looking !or&

3r5 to put it 9ore su##in#tly" Writing pro!essionally is a business& *! you 8ant to 8ritepro!essionally5 you hae to approa#h 8riting in a pro!essional 9anner?8hi#h is to say5you hae to approa#h it 8ith the intent o! a#tually 9aking 9oney (oing it&

This 9eans"

3ne" *t takes 8ork& Lots an( lots an( lots o! 8ork&

T8o" So9eti9es5 8ork su#ks&

Three" +ut you (o it any8ay be#ause that's your =ob&

The preious three rules5 in#i(entally5 8ork !or all 8riters5 8hether they 8rite on sta!!or 8rite !reelan#e&

1& +ut * (on't 8ant to 8rite stu!! * (on't 8ant to 8rite&

Then (on't be#o9e a pro!essional 8riter& Ieep being a 8aiter or e4e#utie or stu(entor bu9 or 8hateer you (o no8 an( 8ork on the


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sa#re( 9ission& People (o it& +ut typi#ally5 these people also eat a lot o! Top a9en5espe#ially 8hen they're starting out& An( Top a9en su#ks a!ter the !i!th or si4th (aytrust 9eB& 6aking a liing 8riting 8ill be a lot easier i! you're rea(y to approa#h 8ritingas a business rather than or at least in tan(e9 8ithB a li!e 9ission& Su!!ering !or one'sart is all ery ro9anti#5 e4#ept 8hen it's a#tually happening to you&

& You're =ust trying to s#are us all o!! o! 8riting&Yeah5 that!s it&

No5 a#tually5 it is?in the sense that * think those 8ho 8ant to be 8riters shoul( haeno illusions about the #areer tra#k they 8ant to engage in& People 8ho aren't 8ritersten( to think that those o! us 8ho are5 are =ust !arting aroun( all (ay5 then bang outso9e te4t in !i!teen 9inutes an( then go out !or #o!!ee& 6aybe other 8riters (o that5 but* sure as hell (on't !or one thing5 * (on't (rink #o!!eeB& * wor"5 (a9n it& * 8ork har(5 *8ork a lot5 an( * (o a lot o! 8riting that's not typi#ally 8hat you'( #all H!un&H

Yes5 it's 9y personal #hoi#e to (o it5 one that's not going to be right !or eeryone& +utthe #o9pensation5 9onetarily an( in ter9s o! personal li!estyle5 is 8orth it& An( it's been9y e4perien#e that those 8riters 8ho hae an outlook si9ilar to 9ine ten( to (o betteri&e&5 9ake 9ore 9oneyB than those 8ho (on't& Take it or leae it&

.& 3kay5 8e got it?8riting pro!essionally is en(less pain an( su!!ering&

Well5 no& Sorry to soun( so stri(ent& Writing pro!essionally5 een at its 8orst5 stillbeats the hell out o! li!ting heay ob=e#ts o!! the ba#k o! a loa(ing (o#k !or K,0 an hour&Let's not ki( ourseles5 here" *t's not a har( li!e5 relatie to 8hat other people hae to (o&This is no (oubt part o! the reason so 9any people 8ant to be pro!essional 8riters&

An( * (on't 8ant to gie the i9pression that * (on't en=oy 9ysel! 8ritingpro!essionally& * like 9ost all the 8riting * get pai( to (o& So9e o! it is 9ore #reatie thanother parts o! it5 but 9ost o! it is interesting5 an( that 8hi#h is not isn't unbearable?in(ee( * !in( it rela4ing an( en=oyable be#ause the pro#ess o! 8riting it is interesting in

itsel!& * like 9ost o! 9y #lients an( e(itors5 too& The ast 9a=ority o! the9 are nor9al5reasonable people 8ho are =ust trying to (o their o8n =obs as best they #an& Work(oesn't hae to auto9ati#ally 9ean H(ru(geryH an( a Dilbert-like #orporate :ell9entality& *t really is a 9atter o! ho8 you approa#h it&

To su9 up this rather long-8in(e( portion" Writing pro!essionally is a#tual 8ork5 !orbetter an( 8orse& *! you #an a##ept this !a#t5 you'll be better o!! 9entally to (o 8ell as apro!essional 8riter&

& Fine& *'9 9entally prepare( !or being a pro!essional 8riter& No8 ho8 (o * (o itJ

Well5 okay& Let 9e 9ake the !ollo8ing assu9ption here" That5 in !a#t5 you #an 8riteyour 8ay out o! a paper bag& *! you're not sure you #an a#tually5 you kno85 write5 you

hae no business trying to be a pro!essional 8riter?go pra#ti#e or take a #lass or (o8hateer that you nee( to (o so you !eel #o9!ortable a#tually putting your 8ork outthere !or other people to see& This is not the (o#u9ent in 8hi#h * bolster your !ragile egoan( a!!ir9 your status as a real lie 8riter&


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eeryone5 but espe#ially those 8ho 8ant to be !reelan#e 8riters"

aB First5 buy a %riter!s &ar"et& This is your +ible5 Ioran an( Torah !ro9 no8 on& Thisbook !eatures =ust about eery single 9arket !or 8riting that e4ists&

bB Write an arti#le on 8hateer you 8ant to 8rite about&

#B 3pen up your %riter!s &ar"et' !in( a 9aga$ine or other 9arket that buys arti#leson the sub=e#t you'e 8ritten on5 !or9at your arti#le to that 9arket's spe#i!i#ations5 an(sen( it o!! 8ith a #oer letter an( an SAS) the %riter!s &ar"et 8ill tell you ho8 to (o allthisB&

(B Forget about the arti#le until it is either a##epte( or re=e#te(&

eB epeat steps aB - (B ad infinitum(

Alternately5 you #an s8it#h steps #B an( bB by !in(ing 9arkets that publish the sortso! arti#les you 9ay be intereste( in 8riting5 an( then 8riting those arti#les a##or(ing totheir spe#i!i#ations& *t's really up to you& The point is?start 8riting5 start sen(ing outarti#les5 an( keep at it&

You #an gie your 9aterial a slightly better #han#e o! being a##epte( i! you at least

initially 8rite arti#les on a sub=e#t you kno8 so9ething about> !or e4a9ple5 i! you're aeterinarian5 8rite arti#les about pets& *! you loe to knit5 8rite arti#les about knitting& *!you're an a##ountant5 8rite about #hanges in the ta4 la8s& An( so on&B

+ear in 9in( that so9e 9aga$ines an( sites pre!er to be @uerie( !irst?that is5 they8ant a proposal !or an arti#le rather than an arti#le itsel!& This is not (i!!i#ult to (o5 an(again5 your %riter!s &ar"et #an sho8 you ho8 to (o this& *! a 9arket 8ants a @uery5 giethe9 a @uery?(on't annoy the9 by not paying attention to their re@uire9ents&B

:ere's 8hy this approa#h is use!ul" First5 it gets you use( to 8riting on a regularbasis& Se#on(5 it gets you use( to sen(ing out 9aterial an( #ontinuing to sen( it outan( sen(ing it out a##or(ing to spe#i!i#ations?(on't ignore this sin#e e(itors thro8 outanything that's not to !or9at spe#i!i#ations& No =oke& You 9ay think it (oesn't 9atter5 orthat you're a spe#ial #ase5 but you kno8 8hatJ You're wrongB& Thir(5 on#e you'estarte( sen(ing out 8ork5 assu9ing you're not an entirely in#o9petent 8riter5 sooner orlater so9eone is likely to a##ept so9ething5 an( you #an use that 8riting #lip to helpyou get 9ore 8ork&

What's beginning 8riter strategy nu9ber t8oJ Sho8 up at a lo#al ne8spaper that8oul( be a (inky little paper5 not like the )os *ngeles Times i! you lie in LAB an( o!!eryour seri#es as a 8riter an( reporter5 #heap& They 9ay thro8 you so9e (e9eaning#rap no one else 8ants to tou#h an( gra(ually 9oe you up !ro9 there& This te#hni@ueis use!ul i! you 8ant to 8ork as a =ournalist5 as it 8ill get you use( to ho8 a ne8sroo98orks5 8hat (ea(lines are all about5 an( 8hat sort o! #rap =ournalists hae to put up 8ith

(ay in an( (ay out?8hi#h in#lu(es but is not li9ite( to ba( pay5 a shrinking 9arket an(the eer-present spe#ter o! being bought-out5 repla#e(5 or shut (o8n& *t's a#tually a loto! !un on#e you get use( to it&B

No85 let's ans8er so9e @uestions here&

7& What i! * sen( so9ething out an( it gets re=e#te(J

What (o you 9ean +if+$ Take this no8 an( engrae this in your brain"

)O)Y W*T)


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The re=e#tion is not personal& nless he or she 9entions so9ething spe#i!i#allyabout it5 the e(itor is not re=e#ting you as a hu9an being or your right to e4ist on thisplanet& :e or she is 9erely re=e#ting an arti#le you'e sub9itte(& That's all& That's it&

*! you #an't han(le the i(ea o! re=e#tion5 you're really in the 8rong line o! 8ork& *t's=ust part o! the business&

Arti#les get re=e#te( !or the !ollo8ing reasons"aB They're not suitable !or the 9aga$ine or site5 i&e&5 you (i(n't (o your ho9e8ork

an( sub9itte( so9ething o!! topi# !or the 9aga$ine& This is a rookie error an( 8hy youshoul( buy an( a#tually rea( your %riter!s &ar"et5 you (u9bass&

bB They're on topi#5 but not o! su!!i#ient @uality&

#B They're on topi#5 an( o! su!!i#ient @uality5 but the 9aga$ine alrea(y re#ently ranso9ething like it or has another arti#le like it in the pipeline& This happens notin!re@uently&

(B *t's on topi#5 o! su!!i#ient @uality5 an( the 9aga$ine hasn't run so9ething like itbe!ore5 but the e(itor is si9ply a butthea( an( (oesn't 8ant to buy it& This also happens

not in!re@uently&eB )erything is per!e#t an( the e(itor loes it5 he or she =ust has no pla#e !or it right

no8&

When an arti#le is re=e#te( by an e(itor5 (on't assu9e it's #rap& %ust !in( another9arket that a##epts arti#les along its line5 an( sen( it out again& An( 8hen it getsre=e#te( again5 sen( it out again& An( so on an( so on until either so9eone buys it oryou run out o! pla#es to sen( it to& 3nly then (o you toss it out or put it asi(e to try againat so9e other ti9e&

& Shoul( * sen( 9aterial out to the big5 big 9arkets5 een i! *'9 =ust getting starte(J

* (on't see 8hy not& The 8orst they #an (o is say no5 an( i! they (on't say no5 you'e

9a(e a sale to a big 9arket?so9ething you #an use as a99o 8hen selling arti#les toother pla#es& An( the big 9arkets typi#ally pay better5 too5 so that's al8ays a bene!it&

:o8eer5 be a8are that the bigger an( better paying sites get #orrespon(ingly largerpiles o! sub9issions5 so it's auto9ati#ally a lot tougher to pla#e 9aterial& Theoreti#ally9any o! these 9arkets are open to beginning 8riters5 but there's a big (i!!eren#ebet8een theory an( pra#ti#e& Sen(ing an arti#le to big 9arkets 9ay (o nothing 9orethan keep you !ro9 sen(ing the arti#le so9e pla#e you 9ight a#tually hae a #han#e o!being a##epte(& You nee( to (e#i(e 8hether it's 8orth the ti9e&

/& :ey5 an e(itor tells 9e that he'll a##ept 9y arti#le i! * 9ake a #ouple o! #hanges&What shoul( * (oJ

D:& 6ake the #hanges& An e(itor kno8s his 9aga$ine or site5 an( unless it

(rasti#ally #hanges the thrust o! the story i&e&5 turns it !ro9 a positie to a negatiereie85 !or e4a9ple5 or turns you !ro9 a #onseratie to a !la9ing liberalB5 there's erylittle point in being (i!!i#ult&

This last pie#e o! a(i#e is a lot 9ore (i!!i#ult to take i! it's a #reatie or !i#tion pie#e5but su#k it up an( (eal 8ith it& e9e9ber" When you're 8riting pro!essionally5 you're8riting !or an e(itor so9e8here along the line& )(itors e4ist so !ar as you kno8B to ask!or ran(o9 an( ine4pli#able #hanges to your 8ork5 an( in return5 they gie you 9oney&


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That's the (rill&

,0& *'e sol( an arti#le; *'e sol( t8o; Shoul( * @uit 9y (ay =obJ

:ell5 no& Don't be an ass&

People 8ho 8ant to be 8riters look on their #urrent =obs like they're #haining the9(o8n& *! only they #oul( break !ree o! these =obs; Then they #oul( 8rite all the ti9e; An(be !ree; 3h =oy;

rap on a sti#k& Fa#t" 6ost people #oul(n't 8rite all the ti9e5 een i! they 8ere !reeto (o so& )en !ull-ti9e 8riters i&e&5 reporters an( su#hB aren't 8riting eery single9o9ent o! the 8ork (ay> they're (oing other stu!!5 in#lu(ing yesB aoi(ing 8riting?be#ause on#e 8riting is a#tual 8ork5 one (esires to run a8ay !ro9 it !ro9 ti9e to ti9e& *sure as hell (on't 8rite all the ti9e5 an( this is 9y (ay =ob&

Another !a#t" 6ost 8riting pays !or #rap 9ore on this soonB& uitting your (ay =ob to8rite !ull ti9e5 espe#ially i! you're 8riting !reelan#e5 9eans you take a :


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0,kBs5 one that doesn!t 9ake you 8ant to per!orate your skull 8ith a po8er nailgun&

Don't eer @uit your (ay =ob unless not @uitting your (ay =ob starts #utting into yourtotal in#o9e potential& eally5 that's 8hat you shoul( #onsi(er&

e9e9ber also that 9any !a9ous 8riters 8rote books an( #olu9ns an( 8hatnot8hile hol(ing (o8n (ay =obs&


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:ere's a spot o! goo( ne8s" 3n#e you'e (one your ti9e an( (eelope( a reputationas a really goo( 8riter5 you #an see your in#o9e go up?8ay up& eally& +ut it (oestake ti9e5 you really (o hae to (o the 8ork5 an( you really (o hae be goo(& You alsohae to 8ork like a (og& :o8eer5 until su#h ti9e as that happens5 you'll nee( to resignyoursel! to lousy pay no 9atter ho8 you sli#e it&

+ear in 9in( that none o! this applies i! you 8rite !or the ,arvard )ampoon& *n that#ase5 you start 9aking K105000 a year as a 8riter on so9e sit#o9 as soon as yougra(uate& That *y League e(u#ation is paying o!!;B

:ey5 yeah5 * hear you say5 8hat about s#reen8riters an( TO 8ritersJ They get pai(a lot; Well5 yes5 so9e o! the9 (o?9ost o! the95 ho8eer5 don!t& At all& An( unlessyou're alrea(y in :olly8oo(5 sli(ing your s#ript to a pro(u#er un(er a bathroo9 stall 8itha ial o! #oke as a bribe5 you're probably alrea(y too late& Sorry&B

Why is 8riter pay so lo8J Supply an( (e9an(& There are 9ore people 8ho are8riters5 an( 8ho 8ant to be 8riters5 than there are 8riting slots to be !ille(5 either inter9s o! arti#les or in ter9s o! sta!! positions& This is o! #ourse espe#ially true at thebotto95 8here as a starting 8riter you 8ill be& Near the top5 as preiously 9entione(5

things #lear out a bit& +ut it's a long 8ay !ro9 botto9 to top& *n this regar(5 it shoul( benote(5 8riting is no (i!!erent than any other (esirable business !iel(5 although the entry-leel pay su#ks 9ore than 9ost& 3nly a#tors an( 9usi#ians get pai( less an( e4ploite(9ore&

There's also the 9atter o! the 8riter H9ysti@ueH 8hi#h 8orks to the (etri9ent o!8riter's pay?si9ply put5 so 9any people are so (esperate to be able to #all the9selesH8ritersH that they're 8illing to put up 8ith lo8 pay or een no pay in or(er to hae that#oete( title& This is again (ue to the i(ea that being a 8riter 9eans you're part o!so9ething greater than yoursel!5 that it's a #alling5 that your oi#e is being hear( by the9asses5 blah blah blah5 #rap #rap #rap& Sin#e you'e got a lot o! people 8ho are 8riting-pro!i#ient 8illing to put up 8ith lousy a8!ul terrible pay5 8riting pay re9ains terrible&

+ear in 9in( that it's not only #on artists 8ho !ollo8 this theory" The ew or" Times!a9ously pays a pittan#e to #ontributors to its op-e( pages5 on the theory5 presu9ably5that they shoul( be honore( to appear in the pages an( sprea( their 9essage to theWorl('s 6ost Literate Au(ien#e& Yeah5 8hateer&

Again5 this is a #o9pelling reason not to @uit your (ay =ob5 sin#e 8hateer (ay =ob itis al9ost #ertainly pays 9ore than you'll be able to 9ake !ro9 8riting !or the !irst !e8years?een i! 8riting 8as the only thing you (i(&

,2& Well5 i! 8riters get pai( #rap5 ho8 #o9e you apparently 9ake so (a9n 9u#hJYou're not5 like5 famous or anything&

)4#ellent @uestion&

eason Nu9ber 3ne" *'e been 8riting pro!essionally sin#e ,//0& Years o! 8riting(oes #ount !or so9ething& Also bear in 9in( that !or the !irst si4 years o! 8ritingpro!essionally5 * 8asn't 9aking that 9u#h at all?a ne8spaper9an's salary (uring are#ession it 8asn't ba(5 =ust not a lotB& A!ter that5 * bene!ite( to so9e e4tent !ro9 the8age in!lation 8ithin the (ot#o9 in(ustry5 an( #urrently *'9 bene!iting !ro9 a (e#a(e's8orth o! #onta#ts 8ithin the in(ustry an( a soli( tra#k re#or( o! output all that ti9e i&e5*'9 not generally kno8n !or being a !laky5 te9pera9ental sort5 at least 8hen it #o9es to8orkB& So there you hae it" Ti9e an( e!!ort #ount&


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eason Nu9ber T8o" As a 8riter5 *'9 ery !le4ible" * hae signi!i#ant e4perien#e in a8hole bun#h o! (i!!erent 8riting areas& Writing isn't =ust H8riting5H a!ter all?=ust as(o#tors or la8yers spe#iali$e5 so (o 9ost 8riters& This is generally an e4#ellent strategy5but it's also 8orth your 8hile as a 8riter to e4pan( your rea#h on#e you'e (eelope( a#ore #o9peten#e& *n 9y o8n #ase5 * starte( o!! 8riting entertain9ent an( hu9or5 8hi#h

lea( to 9y position at A3L&While there5 * got e4perien#e 8riting on online issues an( also business-oriente(

8riting5 both in ter9s o! personal !inan#e an( in ter9s o! 9arketing& Those si(elineshae sin#e be#o9e an i9portant part o! 9y 8riting repertoire5 enough so that 8hile * a9still a#tiely inole( in 8riting entertain9ent5 it's no8 9ore o! a si(eline to these othersorts o! 8riting&

6ore i9portantly5 *'9 still a((ing to 9y repertoire?* 8rote a book on astrono9y5 !ore4a9ple5 8hi#h 8ill a(( 9ore opportunities to 8rite in the area o! popular s#ien#e& Thisrange is use!ul to hae5 be#ause 8hen one sort o! 8riting slo8s (o8n5 there are stillopportunities to !in( 8ork in other areas& So as a 8riter5 !le4ibility helps @uite a bit&

eason Nu9ber Three" *'9 not a 8riting snob& * 8on't =ust 8rite #ertain types o!

8riting?*'9 a slut5 *'ll 8rite anything i! you pay 9e& This is relate( to being !le4ible5 @uiteobiously5 an( it's also roote( in 9y (esire to try (i!!erent things& For e4a9ple5 so9e o!9y 9ost pro!itable 8riting gigs inole 8riting 9arketing 9aterials& A !air nu9ber o!8riters get snippy about 8riting 9arketing stu!!5 but you kno8 8hatJ * a#tually think it'skin( o! fun& *t's !un to try a ne8 9e(iu9 o! 8riting5 it's !un to set a goal an( try to hit it5it's !un to learn ho8 this stu!! 8orks& An( o! #ourse5 8riting 9arketing 9aterial paysreally 8ell5 so it's also !un to spen( the 9oney * 9ake o!! it& So9e 8riters 9ay hol( uptheir noses at 9y largely in(is#ri9inate 8riting pro#liities5 but that's !ine& 6ore 8ork !or9e5 9ore 9oney !or 9y !a9ily&

So i! you 8ant to 9ake 8hat * 9ake?(o your ti9e5 learn to 8rite a lot o! (i!!erentthings5 an( (on't turn (o8n 8ork =ust be#ause it's not H#ool&H See ho8 easy it #an beJ

*roni#ally5 een H!a9ousH 8riters (on't 9ake tons o! #ash& Sure5 you'e got Iing an(


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personal en=oy9ent5 an( it's so9ething that #an take so9e ti9e to !igure out& ertainly*'9 guilty !ro9 ti9e to ti9e o! piling so 9u#h 8ork on 9y plate that * (on't hae ti9e !or!un 8riting5 an( 8hen that happens * en( up !eeling 9o(erately 9iserable until *'9 in apla#e 8here *'e got all that 8ork #leare( out on the other han(5 i! * (i(n't hae pai(8riting 8ork to (o5 you #an bet *'( be pretty (a9ne( 9iserable then5 tooB&

*n 9y o8n personal e4perien#e5 *'e !oun( that *'9 happiest 8hen * hae a healthya9ount o! pai( 8ork an( a #ouple hours a (ay to (o personal 8riting& The reason !orthis is * ten( to be H#reatieH a #ouple o! hours a (ay5 a!ter 8hi#h point 9y brain nee(sso9e ti9e to rest5 re#harge an( think about 8hateer it is *'9 8riting #reatiely& So !orthe rest o! the (ay5 * (o 9y pai( 8ork& The t8o (on't inter!ere 8ith ea#h other5 an(in(ee( #an #o9ple9ent ea#h other5 8ith 8hat *'9 (oing #reatiely #ausing 9e toapproa#h 9y pai( 8ork !ro9 a slightly (i!!erent perspe#tie an( i#e-ersa& An( o!#ourse5 9u#h o! your HpersonalH 8riting #an also hae pro!essional goals?i! you're8riting a noel5 !or e4a9ple5 you'll probably 8ant to try to sell it a!ter you're (one&

Your ratio o! pro!essional to personal 8ork an( the set up o! ho8 you 8rite both 8illbe (i!!erent then 9ine5 obiously& You'll !igure it out eentually& *n the 9eanti9e5 *

8oul(n't a(ise obsessing about 8hether you're losing your soul by 8riting too 9u#hstu!! !or other people an( not enough !or yoursel!& When it #o9es right (o8n to it5 i! youreally 8ant to 9ake the ti9e !or personal 8riting5 you'll (o it&

,& *s there anything you 8oul(n't 8rite !or 9oneyJ

You bet& * 8oul(n't eer 8rite 9arketing 9aterial !or a pro(u#t * !oun( 9orally@uestionable5 so5 !or e4a9ple5 no s8eet ri#h #igarette 9oney !or 9e& * 8oul(n't 8riteanything #ounter to 9y o8n politi#al or personal ethi#s5 so this 9eans you 8on't see 9e8riting (ire#t 9ail !or #onseratie politi#ians5 8arning their #onstituents about the eilso!5 say5 gay 9arriage or pro-#hoi#ers& * 8on't 8rite in a 9e(iu9 that * !in( personallyo!!ensie5 8hi#h 9eans you are unlikely to !in( 9e 8riting unsoli#ite( e-9ail 9arketingpie#es& *'9 unlikely to 8rite porn5 be#ause * #oul(n't 8rite it 8ithout busting up& * 8oul(n't8rite anything that * !elt * #learly la#ke( the kno8le(ge base !or or5 alternately5 !elt *8oul(n't be able to pi#k up @ui#kly enough to turn out a reasonable pro(u#t& So theregoes 9y #areer 8riting about #ri#ket&

+ear in 9in( that * say this !eeling relatiely #o9!ortable that saying HnoH to any o!these sorts o! 8riting 8oul( not i9pa#t 9y oerall ability to 9ake a liing an( pay 9ybills& *! * 8ere a beginning 8riter an( 8riting an unsoli#ite( e-9ail 9arketing pie#e 9eantthe (i!!eren#e bet8een eating Top a9en or eating real !oo( !or a #hange5 * 9ight #ae&+ut in a general sense5 li!e's too short to (o things that 9ake you !eel (irty or aguelyasha9e( o! yoursel!& There are other 8ays to 9ake 9oney&

,.& :ey5 you 9entione( earlier that you ha( #onta#ts in the in(ustry& :o8 (i( you get

the9J An( 9ore to the point5 ho8 #an I get the9JHonta#tsH is a ter9 8hi#h #alls into 9in( sha(o8y types that hae 9ysti#al po8ers

to get you 8riting gigs an( hot (ates 8ith super9o(els& *t's not like that all5 espe#iallythe part about the hot (ates& 6y #onta#ts are =ust all the people *'e 9et along the 8ay&6ost o! these people * 9et 8hen both they an( * 8ere younger an( in positions !ar lessa(antageous than the ones 8e're both in no8& 3er ti9e5 people 9oe up5 an( theyre9e9ber people they'e 8orke( 8ith be!ore& That's pretty 9u#h ho8 it 8orks&

*! you're intereste( in #ultiating #onta#ts o! your o8n !or !un an( pro!it5 here's 8hat


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you (o" +e ni#e to eeryone& eally5 that's the best 8ay to (o it& When you 8ork 8ithso9eone5 help the9 (o their =ob usually this is a##o9plishe( si9ply by (oing your o8n

=ob in a #o9petent 9annerB& Don't a(opt a superior attitu(e to anyone?you'll besurprise( ho8 @ui#kly to(ay's peon be#o9es to9orro8's boss an( ho8 long their9e9ories areB& Thank people 8hen they're help!ul& +e use!ul& Don't talk about the9

behin( their ba#ks& Don't stab the9 in the ba#k& *! you think so9eone is goo( at his orher =ob an( you're in a position to help the9 a(an#e5 (o it& People (o re9e9ber those8ho hae (one 8ell by the95 both pro!essionally an( personally& +eing a (e#ent hu9anbeing pays o!!&

+eing ni#e5 in#i(entally5 is not the sa9e as being an ass-kissing yes-9an& *nsin#erityhas a pungent sten#h that 8ill hang about you all your #areer5 so be #are!ul about usingit& 3ne #an be generally ni#e an( still not roll oer an( take it up the 8a$oo !ro9 so9e#rap-!linging 9onkey o! a #o8orker or e(itor& elate( to this5 you shoul( hae a #ertainline beyon( 8hi#h you 8ill take no 9ore #rap !ro9 anyone5 nor let anyone takea((itional a(antage o! you& This line is use!ul !or one's sel!-respe#t an( one's ability to(o 8ork& No =ob in the 8orl( is 8orth taking 9ore than one's !air share o! #rap& :o8eer5

9y e4perien#e has been that 9ost people are in !a#t nor9al !olks =ust trying to (o their=ob& *! you help the9 (o it5 an( (o so in a pleasant5 pro!essional an( engaging 8ay5 it'llpay (ii(en(s&

Also re9e9ber that being the ni#est person in the 8orl( 8on't 9ean a thing i! you#an't5 you kno85 a#tually do the =ob& So 8ork on your pro!essional #hops !irst5 an( onbeing ni#e se#on(&B

,& * hae no #onta#ts; * kno8 no one; What shoul( * (oJ

Please re!er to beginning 8riter strategy nu9ber one ba#k at @uestion nu9ber si4&Look5 people5 not haing #onta#ts (oesn't 9ean you'll neer get 8ork& * (i(n't kno8anyone at the !irst !our 9a=or 8riting gigs * ha(> the only thing * ha( going !or 9e 8asthe 8ork * 8as able to sho8 the9& %or" counts& *t #ounts at least as 9u#h as #onta#ts5espe#ially at the beginning&

,7& What (o you think about 8riter's unions5 asso#iations an( #onentionsJ

*'9 o!!i#ially neutral on the9& * think they #an be ery use!ul !or ne8 8riters inlearning 9any o! the groun( rules o! 8riting as a #areer5 an( #an be espe#ially help!ul8hen legal or #ontra#tual 9atters #rop up& Lo#al 8riter asso#iations are use!ul as so#ialan( pro!essional entities as 8ell& A((itionally5 9any national an( lo#al 8riters unionsan( asso#iations o!!er use!ul bene!its to 9e9bers5 su#h as health insuran#e& This alone#an 9ake =oining a ery goo( thing !or !reelan#e 8riters&

:o8eer5 personally speaking5 *'e !oun( ery little use !or the9& For 8hateerreason5 *'e ha( ery !e8 proble9s negotiating #ontra#ts on 9y o8n or !in(ing suitable

8ork5 both as a !ull-ti9e salarie( 8orker an( a !ull-ti9e !reelan#er5 an( *'e not ha(proble9s 9eeting an( #ultiating #onta#ts& Writing #onentions an( se9inars haen'tbeen ery use!ul to 9e> typi#ally * !in( a 9u#h 9ore use!ul e4perien#e is si9ply to goout an( get the a#tual pro!essional e4perien#e in 8hateer !iel( *'9 #urious about& An(also5 *'9 #heap an( * re!use to spen( 9oney !or (ues unless * !eel *'9 personally goingto re#eie a (ire#t net bene!it& While *'9 politi#ally pro-union in a general sense5 on apersonal leel *'9 apparently not at all&

The aboe shoul( be rea( 8ith the un(erstan(ing that * a9 e4#eptionally egotisti#al


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an( #on!i(ent in 9y abilities to the point o! being irritating to other 8riters5 an( also that *ten( not to be a H=oinerH o! organi$e( groups& The only 8riting organi$ation * ha( anya9bition to =oin is the S#ien#e Fi#tion an( Fantasy Writers o! A9eri#a5 o! 8hi#h * a9no8 a 9e9ber& * (i(n't a#tually e4pe#t it to (o anything !or 9e 8hen * =oine(5 an( to thate4tent * hae been not at all (isappointe( 8ith its per!or9an#e& * get to ote on the

Nebula a8ar(s5 though5 an( that's ni#e&So" *! you think it's going to be use!ul to you5 =oin a 8riter's union& * personally hae

not !oun( the9 use!ul5 but that's not the sa9e thing as saying you 8on't !in( the9 so&

,& You 8rite online an( o!!line& What are the (i!!eren#es bet8een the9J

There are none&

*'9 serious& A lot o! people talk about ho8 (i!!erent the t8o 9e(iu9s are5 but it's9ostly 8ish!ul thinking& 3nline 8riting ten(s to be shorter5 an( it has the ability to takea(antage o! hyperlinking5 8hi#h print #annot& +ut that's it5 an(5 in both o! these #ases5it's not a har( an( !ast rule5 sin#e *'e rea( lots o! Web 8riting 8hi#h is not notably short5an( a lot o! arti#les that (i( not in#lu(e hyperlinks& Lots o! 8riters 8ho 8ork online alsolearn :T6L or other 8eb-base( presentation syste9s5 but that's not (ire#tly relate( to8ritingper se& 3ne #an get along per!e#tly 8ell 8ithout learning it5 espe#ially these(ays5 8hen 8or( pro#essing progra9s #an !or9at your te4t as a Web page !or you&

*n both the online an( o!!line 9e(iu9s5 you ulti9ately hae to (o the sa9e things?you hae to 8rite #oherently an( intelligently5 an( you hae to 9ake your e(itor happy& *!you #an 8rite in one 9e(iu95 you kno8 /. per#ent o! 8hat you nee( to kno8 to 8orkin the other5 an( 8hat little there is that is (i!!erent is not (i!!i#ult to learn&

A nu9ber o! 8riters * kno8 see9 to pre!er to 8ork in only one 9e(iu9 an( not theother& * think that's kin( o! (u9b& *nas9u#h as there's no real skill set (i!!eren#ebet8een t8o5 8hy not 8rite in bothJ Woo(y Allen on#e =oke( that the great thing aboutbeing bise4ual is that it (ouble( your #han#es o! a (ate on Satur(ay night> the sa9e

thinking applies to o!!line an( online 8riting& urrently 200,B5 9y in#o9e is (erie(7. !ro9 online 8ork5 2. !ro9 o!!line& *'9 not 8illing to #hop o!! a @uarter o! 9yin#o9e or three @uarters5 i! * go the other 8ayB in so9e 9isgui(e( belie! that onenee(s to #on#entrate on one 9e(iu9 rather than the other&

Why is 9y in#o9e 9a=ority online5 you askJ *t's si9ple?*'9 la$y5 an( online 8ork iseasier !or 9e to !in(5 thanks to #onta#ts an( online =ob banks& :o8eer5 8ere the online8orl( to apori$e to9orro85 * (on't hae any (oubt * #oul( begin buil(ing up 9y in#o9e8riting o!!line5 using 8riting skills an( e4perien#es * #ultiate( in 9y online 8riting&B

,/& Do * hae to go to Ne8 York or so9e other large #ity to 8riteJ That's 8here 9osto! the 8riting opportunities see9 to be lo#ate(&

3h5 * (on't kno8 about that& ertainly the highest-pro!ile 9aga$ines an( 8ritingoutlets are in Ne8 York an( other large #ities& +ut 9aga$ines are lo#ate( all oer the9ap& An( unless you're sub9itting to a region-oriente( 9aga$ine or 8ant to 8ork !or alo#al ne8spaper5 you typi#ally (on't hae to lie 8here the 8riting 9arket is lo#ate(&Yes5 there's so9ething to be sai( about being able to hae !a#e ti9e 8ith e(itors an(9aga$ine an( ne8spaper sta!!s5 but it's not absolutely essential&

* think you shoul( 9oe to a large #ity to 8rite i! you a#tually 8ant to 9oe to a large#ity5 perio(& *! not5 (on't& Liing in one parti#ular pla#e to 8rite is be#o9ing less


20/167

ne#essary5 espe#ially no8 that the online 8orl( 9eans people are =ust an e-9ail orinstant 9essage a8ay !ro9 ea#h other& * speak about this 8ith so9e e4perien#e> *#urrently lie in a (inky little to8n on the !ar 8estern e(ge o! 3hio #alle( +ra(!or(?population =ust un(er 25000& When * 9oe( here * 8as 8orrie( that liing here 8oul(hae so9e i9pa#t on 9y ability to get 8ork5 but it really hasn't at all& * 9ay be lu#ky in

this regar(5 but * think anyone 8ho is #o99itte( to !in(ing 8riting 8ork these (ays #an!in( it no 9atter 8here they lie&

No85 i! * 8ere 2, an( =ust starting out5 *'( 9u#h rather lie in Ne8 York than+ra(!or(5 3hio& 3h& 6Y& /od& There's no (ebate on this& +ut no8 *'9 in 9y thirties an( *hae a !a9ily5 *'( rather lie here& * hae a bran(-ne8 -be(roo9 house on !ie a#res o!lan(5 an( 8hat * pay 9onthly on the 9ortgage 8oul(n't een get 9e a #rappy one-be(roo9 in 6anhattan& 6y ki( gets to play in a yar( the si$e o! a Ne8 York #ity blo#k58hi#h !or 9e5 at leastB see9s like a better i(ea than her a#tually playing on a Ne8 York#ity blo#k& No o!!ense to Ne8 Yorkers&

Point here" You #an 8rite !ro9 any8here5 espe#ially these (ays& So lie 8here you8ant&

20& *'9 a #ollege stu(ent 8ho 8ants to gro8 up to be a 8riter& What #lasses shoul( *takeJ

Take 8hateer you 8ant& *! you kno8 you 8ant to be a 8riter5 then you'll probably8rite at eery opportunity any8ay> taking #lasses on ho8 to 8rite is o! se#on(ary utilityto a#tually 8riting&


21/167

gra(uate 8riting progra9s5 an( o! #ourse tons o! =ournalis9 s#hools& All o! these takestu(ents 8ho hae all sorts o! un(ergra( 9a=ors& Worry about it then?an( in the9eanti9e use your un(ergra(uate years to learn a lot about a lot& *t'll pay o!! in the longrun&

6y 9a=orJ Philosophy& :ae * eer use( it pro!essionallyJ Yeah5 right&B

3kay5 *'9 (one talking no8&


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#"en &ore Long6Wine 07ut ,ractical5Writing A"ice

0&arch 48 23395

For arious reasons 8hi#h * 8ill not go into at the 9o9ent be#ause * (on't !eel like it5* hae the urge to proi(e 8holly unsoli#ite( but pra#ti#al a(i#e to 8riters& So here it is&Why shoul( you as a 8riter listen to 9y a(i#eJ No reason e4#ept that * publishe( t8obooks last year5 8ill publish t8o books this year an( a9 likely to publish another #oupleo! books ne4t year5 an( asi(e !ro9 that * 9ake a 8hole lot o! 9oney (oing 8hat * (o& 3nthe other han(5 * a9 also !a9ously a #ranky blo8har( 8ho rea(ily a(9its to haing hishea( up his ass a lot o! the ti9e& So take it or leae it&

,& Yes5 you're a great 8riter& So 8hat&

Let's be #lear on this5 so there's no #on!usion on that 9atter" no one #ares thatyou're totally the best 8riter eer& They =ust (on't& +e#ause 8hile people 8ant their8riters to be 9any things5 Hthe bestH isn't usually one o! those things& ea(ers 8ant youto be entertaining& )(itors 8ant you to hae #o99er#ial appeal an( not be a pain in theass to line e(it& Publishers 8ant you to !ill a hole in their pro(u#tion s#he(ule& +ookstores 8ant you to sti9ulate !oot tra!!i# in their store& None o! that inherently hasanything to (o 8ith being a great 8riter& *! you #an (o one or 9ore o! these things an(be a great 8riter5 ni!ty& *! being a great 8riter keeps you !ro9 (oing these things5 8ell5pal5 e4pe#t to be (eeply un(erappre#iate( in your ti9e& So9e8hat relate( to this"

2& * (on't #are i! you're a better 8riter than me&

+e#ause 8hy shoul( *J Yes5 8or(s (rip !ro9 your pen like li@ui( gol( skitteringa#ross the !inest ellu9 eer poun(e( out o! a la9b& Trees 8eep 8ith gratitu(e thattheir (eaths a!!or( you the paper upon 8hi#h you 8ill #ast your thoughts& That's veryni#e !or you& 6ean8hile5 *'e got 9y o8n books to 8rite5 pro=e#ts to (eelop an( #lientsto 9ake happy& Your preternatural ability to 8eae !iligree( 9usings into (eathlessprose i9pa#ts 9y li!e not at all&

* o! #ourse a##ept your superiority to 9e in the great hierar#hy o! 8riters?#learly5#on!ronte( 8ith your brillian#e5 ho8 #oul( * notJ * =ust (on't care& nless you inten( to


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spen( all your ti9e trying to th8art 9y #areer be#ause you #an't bear to #onte9plate 9y9u((y 8ork sullying the !iel( o! en(eaor oer 8hi#h you !loat5 #arrie( by the angels5si9ply as apractical 9atter 8hat you (o an( 8hat * (o 8ill hae ery little to (o 8ithea#h other&

* suspe#t 9y !eeling here 8ill be e#hoe( by other 8riters& +e as brilliant as you 8ant

to be5 !rien(& %ust (on't e4pe#t the rest o! us to look up !ro9 our toil to stare agape asyou 8a!t by& An( so9e8hat relate( to this"

1& There is al8ays so9eone less talente( than you 9aking 9ore 9oney as a 8riter&

WhyJ +e#ause li!e an( publishingB is #apri#ious an( #ruel5 that's 8hy& So9e !atbastar( has been re8riting the sa9e book !or the last 2. years5 an( ea#h Hne8H book iseen 9ore o! a pointlessly s9u(ge( photo#opy o! his last book than the one be!ore it58hi#h in turn 8as a s9u(ge( photo#opy o! the book be!ore that& An( a!ter his thi#k5retar(e( lu99o4 o! a book is plante( in its o8n stan(-up (isplay s9a#k in the 9i((le o!the store's pri9ary tra!!i# pattern5 the author is going to take that 9oney5 buy a gorgeoushouse on Lake Tahoe 8ith it an( use the e4#ess #ash to #har9 s9art5 pretty5 a9bitiousgirls an( boys to hae ra9paging se4 8ith his !labby5 lier-spotte( bo(y 8hile he

8at#hes Ni#k %r& on his 1-in#h high-(e!inition plas9a teleision& +e#ause he can&6ean8hile5 you're lu#ky i! a single #opy o! your a#hingly beauti!ully-8ritten paperba#k5!or 8hi#h you 8ere pai( barely enough to #oer three 9onth's rent on a bug-in!este(

Alphabet ity .th-!loor 8alkup5 is shele( spine in8ar( in a !orgotten li9b o! thebookstore !or a 9onth be!ore its #oer is a9putate( an( sent ba#k to the publisher as a9ark o! ab=e#t !ailure& Wel#o9e to the literary 8orl(;

%ust re9e9ber 8hen that happens that so9eone else's retina-blin(ingly gorgeous9anus#ript?8hi#h is so 9u#h better than the tripe you 8rite that you har(ly (esere tokno8 o! its e4isten#e?lies negle#te( in a slush pile at a publisher5 to be pa8e( oer bya su99er intern 8ith as 9u#h taste in books as a heat-a((le( aar(ark5 be!ore beingreturne( ,. to 22 9onths a!ter it 8as sub9itte(& Yes5 that's right" You're one o! the luc"yones&

& Your opinion about other 8riters an( their 8ritingB 9eans nothing&

*n one o! the #o99ent threa(s on 9y Web site5 a #orrespon(ent 9entione( thatanother 8riter 8as telling her that no e(itor 8oul( eer buy 9y noels?an( later thatvery same day * announ#e( that *'( been signe( to a t8o-noel (eal5 an( that the books8oul( be #o9ing out in har(ba#k& Why on this sub=e#t 8as this other 8riter so #learlyan( obiously 8rong5 wrong5 wrong$ Well5 si9ple" +e#ause he kno8s nothing0or atthe ery least5 he kne8 nothing use!ul about the 9arket in 8hi#h these books 8oul( bein play& :is opinion 8as that * 8as a ba( 8riter an( 9y books stank5 but the reality 8asso9eone in a position to buy 9y 8ork thought * 8as #o9petent enough an( the book

goo( enough to pur#hase an( to =usti!y another book pur#hase !ro9 9e5 sight unseenB&This is not to poun( on this parti#ular 8riter !or kno8ing absolutely nothing about the

9arket he 8as presu9ing to #o99ent upon& Well5 a#tually that's a lie" it is& +ut allo8 9eto be the !irst to note that there are a lot o! books out there?really su##ess!ul books?that * 8oul(n't hae gien a sno8ball's #han#e in :ell o! eer being publishe(& An( yet5there they are5 selling 9illions& WhyJ +e#ause I kno8 nothing5 too& As 8riters5 our =obsare not to kno8 anything about other 8riters an( their 8ork> our =obs are to 8ork on ouro8n 8riting&


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This is not to say one #an't hae opinions about other 8riters an( their 8ork> 8e #an&We all (o& +ut 8e shoul(n't bother preten(ing that our opinions hae any relation to ho8that 8riter an( his or her 8ork 8ill !are in the 8orl(& Speaking as a 8riter5 an( so9eone8ith an opinion5 * (on't nee( to ali(ate 9y opinion by assu9ing it has a greatersigni!i#an#e than being 9y o8n opinion& * hae enough o! an ego to !eel that it 9erely

being 9y opinion is goo( enough&.& You're not !ooling anyone 8hen you take your laptop to a #o!!ee shop5 you kno8&

* 9ean5 Christ5 people& All that tapping an( leaning ba#k thought!ully in your #hair8ith a 9ug o! 8hateer 8hile you preten( to e(it your latest 9asterpie#e& You #oul(n'tbe 9ore obious i! you ha( a garish5 !lashing neon sign oer your hea( that sai(HLooking For Se4&H unless you'e (one your ti9e5 you're =ust!arting through your laryn4& see aboe the writing o! that noel5 ho8eer5 re@uire( alot o! e!!ortB& An( no8 *'e got 9ysel! a ni#e little book !ran#hise 8ith the Boo" of theDumb books&

Lu#kyJ Well5 duh& :o8eer5 it's 8orth 9entioning that aroun( the sa9e ti9e * sol(9y noel !or a 9o(est little su95 so9e ,/-year-ol( na9e( hristopher Paolini ha( his


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sel!-publishe( !antasy book #alle( 1ragon snappe( up by Inop! !or K.005000> no8 it's abest seller an( they're going to 9ake a big e4pensie 9oie o! it& So I!m lu#ky5 but ouryoung !rien( Paolini hit the !riggin'jac"pot&

*s it fair * hae a book #areer through little e!!ort o! 9y o8n asi(e !ro9 the triial butne#essary step o! 8riting the booksB5 8hile others o! e@ual or greater talent plug a8ay

!or years 8ith no su##essJ Nope& *s it !air that Paolini is a best-selling5 !airly ri#h authorat 20 years ol( 8hile * hae to 8ait until *'9 1. to hae my !irst noel in the stores?an(others hae to 8ait een longer i! they eer get publishe( at allBJ A big !at HnopeH tothat one5 too& Li!e isn't !air& *t really neer has been an( it see9s a8!ully naie to e4pe#tit to be#o9e that 8ay anyti9e soon&

* a9 happy to grant that so9e o! the su##ess * hae ha( has been a 9atter o! beingin the right pla#e at the right ti9e5 but * (on't !eel oblige( to !eel guilty about takinga(antage o! that !ortuitous positioning5 sin#e the en( result is a goo( li!e (oing 8hat *8ant& An( i! you're in a position to take a(antage o! si9ilar lu#k5 you shoul(n't !eelguilty about it either& halk it up to an a(an#e on your kar9i# balan#e> try not to s#re8it up&

& Don't be an ass&Di( you kno8 that 8riters5 e(itors an( publishers 8ill !orget their o8n na9es an( the

na9es o! their #hil(ren5 spouses an( pets be!ore they !orget the tiniest o! slights thatyou as a !ello8 8riter 9ight in!li#t upon the9J *t's true& Oerily5 they #oul( be in the throeso! an a(an#e(5 prion-t8isting a!!li#tion that 8ipes their 9e9ories #lean like a 6agna-Doo(le in an 6*5 an( yet i! your na9e is but 8hispere( !ro9 a#ross the roo95 theireyes 8ill bla$e an( they 8ill e4#lai9 Hthat bastar(;H be!ore lapsing ba#k into the blank(arkness& That being the #ase5 8hy 8oul( you go out o! your 8ay to antagoni$e thesepeople unless it is absolutely ne#essary?8hi#h it al9ost neer5 eer isJ

*n this li!e5 an( in this !iel(5 you're going to hae enough proble9s as it is& Don't

9ake any 9ore ene9ies than you hae to& Try to be ni#e& An( i! you #an't be ni#e5 thenshut the hell up an( go stan( in the #orner 8ith your (rink an( leae all the rest o! usalone& Yes5 yes5 you're right an( eeryone else is 8rong& That?like your i99ense talent?is a gien& +ut =ust be#ause you're right (oesn't 9ean you shoul( be a (i#k about it&

/& You 8ill look stupi( i! you're =ealous&

%ust as there 8ill be 8riters 8ith 9ore su##ess an( less talent than you5 so9e o!your 8riter !rien(s 8ill (o better than you5 by 8hateer stan(ar( you (e#i(e HbetterH#ounts as& An( you kno8 8hat you shoul( (oJ +e happy !or the95 you neuroti# t8it&+e#ause it's 9ore than likely that their su##ess has al9ost nothing to (o 8ith you?8hi#h is to say that i! they 8ere less su##ess!ul5 you 8oul( probably still be no 9ore orless su##ess!ul than you are& Li!e is not a $ero-su9 ga9e> the !ortunes o! others (o not

9ean our o8n !ortunes are (i9inishe(& * 9ean5 !or


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#an 8e&

An( i! turns out you are the 9ost su##ess!ul a9ong your 8riter !rien(s5 8ell5 youkno8& +e a pal&B

+eing =ealous o! people you (on't een kno85 in#i(entally5 is so ro#k-(ense stupi(that *'9 going to pay you the #o9pli9ent o! assu9ing that you 8oul(n't (o so9ething as

pointless as that& You're 8el#o9e&,0& Li!e is long&

So long as you (on't intentionally step out in !ront o! a bus5 #han#es are pretty goo(you'll 9ake it to 70 or 0 or so9e bone-(eteriorate( age like that& That being the #ase58hat are you 8orrie( aboutJ )n=oy yoursel!& )n=oy the pro#ess o! 8riting& eel in the

=oy o! #reating 8hateer it is you're #reating an( don!t worry& For so9e people 8ritingsu##ess happens early5 !or others later5 an( !or 9ost so9e8here in bet8een& Di( * think*'( be in 9y 10s be!ore * sol( 9y !irst noelJ No5 but there's lots o! things about 9y li!e *didn!t e4pe#t?an( sin#e * #an't i9agine 8hy * 8oul( 8ant 9y li!e to be any (i!!erentthan it is5 * guess that this is a good thing&

Li!e is long& You #an 8rite all the 8ay through it> this ain't gy9nasti#s5 a!ter all& Lieli!e5 (o your 8riting5 an( get use( to the i(ea that things happen 8hen they happen&There's no ti9etable& There's =ust li!e5 an( any part o! it #an be as goo( a ti9e as anyother to be the 8riter you 8ant to be&

*'9 (one&

E E E

*! you'll note the (ate this one 8as publishe(5 you'll see 8hy this parti#ular pie#e gotlost in the shu!!le& A #ouple o! the points * 9a(e here * later repli#ate( in other pie#es5but * thought it'( be ni#e to let this pie#e see the light o! (ay on#e 9ore& Also5 there areso9e points here * (on't 9ake else8here& So there you are&?%S


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Ten Thing! I'"e Learne A1out Writing inTen Year! of %oing It

0Septe$1er 43 23345

This last 8eek 9arke( 9y tenth anniersary as a 8orking 8riter& * 8rote be!ore thatpoint5 o! #ourse5 an( * een got pai( !or it !ro9 ti9e to ti9e5 but * ti9e 9y pro!essionalli!e !ro9 the (ate * 8alke( in the (oor o! the Fresno Bee in Septe9ber o! ,//, an( sai(H* start 8ork to(ay&H They gae 9e a photo *D5 a (esk an( a pay#he#k the pay#he#ka#tually #a9e t8o 8eeks later& +ut you kno8 8hat * 9eanB& Ta (a5 * 8as a real lie8orking 8riter&

Ten years later5 * still haen't (one anything else to 9ake 9oney?in#lu(ing (uringthe last three an( a hal! years5 in 8hi#h *'e been a !reelan#e 8riter5 a sure se#on( =ob

9agnet i! there eer 8as one& 6y #areer has been a ni#e #o9bination o! being lu#kyan( being goo(5 an( 8hile * pre!er being the latter5 * (on't turn 9y nose up at the !or9er5either& *'9 not prou(& *'ll take lu#k 8hen * #an get it&

:o8eer *'e 9anage( it5 ten years o! 8riting?on sta!! an( !reelan#e5 !or print59aga$ines5 online an( in books5 an( on =ust about eery topi# possible?is enough ti9eto note so9e general obserations about the 8riting li!e& So here they are" Ten Things*'e Learne( About Writing Fro9 Ten Years o! Doing *t& These are in no parti#ular or(er5in#i(entally&

,& *! you're not #on!i(ent5 you're (ea( 9eat&

+eyon( the !a#t that 8hiny 8riters su#k5 being #on!i(ent is your roa( to #ash& *

#harge a he!ty a9ount per hour an( per 8or( !or 9y seri#es5 an( the reason * #an geta8ay 8ith it is this" When #lients #all 8ith a pro=e#t or arti#le that is a ri(i#ulous a9ounto! 8ork in a ri(i#ulously short !ra9e an( they ask 9e i! * #an (o it5 * tell the9 the onlything they 8ant hear" HSure& No proble9&H lients pay 9e !or 9y 8riting skills5 but theypay 9e a lot be#ause * gie the9 the se#urity that the 8ork is going to get (one5 perio(&*! you #an pro=e#t that sort o! #on!i(en#e in your 8ork?in the @uality an( in theti9eliness?to your #lients5 it goes a long 8ay to keeping you in 8ork&

2& Nothing lasts !oreer&


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*n 9y ti9e *'e ha( a nu9ber o! s8eet 8riting gigs" reie8ing 9oies an( Ds an(i(eo ga9es5 8riting hu9or #olu9ns an( so on& They all #o9e an( they all go5 an( itery o!ten has little to (o 8ith 9e personally?there's a (e#ision in the upper ranks to#ut #ontent5 or #hange the =ob (es#ription5 or 9oe the publi#ation in another (ire#tionor 8hateer o! #ourse5 so9eti9es it is about 9e& +ut neer 9in( that no8B& These #an

happen to you5 too?an( so9eti9es5


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ti9e5 parti#ularly as a !reelan#e 8riter5 su#k it up an( 8rite so9e a( #opy& 3r a !inan#ialbro#hure& 3r a te#hni#al (o#u9ent& 3r 8hateer& No5 it's not the


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8ith 8here * a9& * earn goo( 9oney !or 9y !a9ily& * 8rite stu!! that * en=oy5 an( * en=oy8orking 8ith the people !or 8ho9 * 8rite& * hae a goo( li!e that * lie5 !or the 9ost part5on 9y o8n ter9s& An( 8hile there's 9ore that * 8ant to (o 8ith 9y 8riting #areer5 * #anhonestly say that * (on't regret any o! the #hoi#es *'e 9a(e so !ar& As a 8riter5 an( as a8orking hu9an being5 that's 8hat you hope !or& *! you #an look at your o8n 8riting li!e

an( !eel the sa9e 8ay5 then 8hateer your #hoi#es so !ar5 an( 8hateer you 8ant !oryoursel! in the !uture5 you're (oing =ust !ine in the here an( no8&

So there you hae it5 ten years o! 8riting e4perien#e& Let's see 8hat the ne4t tenyears has in store&

E E E

*n early 200. * 8as aske( to guest-e(it an issue o! Subterranean 6aga$ine5 as#ien#e !i#tionC!antasy 9aga$ine& A!ter announ#ing 9y e(itorship5 * poste( this pie#e tolet people kno8 ho8 * 8as planning to han(le the ineitable spate o! re=e#tions that8oul( ensue& *t see9s to hae 8orke(?a!ter the re=e#tions 8ere 9aile( out * got e-9ails thanking 9e !or being so ni#e about it all& * try& *n any eent5 the pie#e (es#ribe(

9y o8n re=e#tion poli#y5 but * think you'll !in( the a(i#e about !ollo8ing (ire#tions an(ho8 to (eal 8ith re=e#tion appli#able a#ross a 8i(e range o! sub9ission eents& * !in( ituse!ul5 in any eent5 8hen * sub9it things&?%S


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Ten Thing! A1out Literary -eection

0&arch 2; 233


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33/167

What ,u1li!hing I!

0&arch 4= 233


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(a9n toaster& With literature an( non-!i#tion5 there are any nu9ber o! #o9petent 8ritersone 9ight sub=e#tiely label Hba(H 8riters?!or all their ability to #onstru#t a senten#e5the senten#es they #onstru#t si9ply (on't (o anything !or you&

Although #o9petent is not the sa9e as goo(5 it's also the #ase that goo( books areal8ays #o9petent> at the ery least5 *'e neer hear( o! a goo( book that 8as also

in#o9petently 8ritten i! you hae5 please enlighten 9eB& onersely5 although it'spossible !or a #o9petent book to be stylisti#ally ba(5 all in#o9petent books are also ba(again5 *'( be please( to kno8 o! e4#eptionsB&

,a& o9petent is not al8ays5 but #an so9eti9es be5 the ene9y o! Hgoo(&HA(enturous or #hallenging 8riting o!ten skates on the e(ge o! a##epte( rubri#s o!#o9peten#e5 as 8riters try ne8 !or9s e4a9ple" %a9es %oy#e's 3lysses or Sa9uelDelaney's DhalgrenB5 an( as su#h runs #ounter to publishing's #onseratie ten(en#iesto publish su#h 8ork& o99er#ial publishing in parti#ular 8ants 8hat sells& :o8eer5 it'salso possible that #o9peten#e #an ai( Hgoo(5H i! the tra(itionally #o9petent 8ork itpublishes buys a publisher enough #o99er#ial an( #riti#al hea(roo9 to atte9pt theo##asional stab at 8eir(ness Dhalgren 8as in(ee( publishe( by someone5 a!ter allB&

This is 8here the heay #urtain o! 9onolithi# HpublishingH is pulle( ba#k to reeal e(itors8ith personal pre!eren#es an( a (rie to publish i9portant 8ork !ro9 ti9e to ti9e5 an((a9n the sales&

Publishe( 8ork is a ali( general 9etri# !or 8riting #o9peten#e> ho8eerunpublishe( 8riting an( 8riters are not ne#essarily in#o9petent& *n#o9petent 8ritersten( to re9ain unpublishe(5 but 8riting is o!ten re=e#te( !or reasons other than#o9peten#e" The sub9issions e(itor 9ay hae too 9any o! that sort o! 8riting in the(o#k5 !or e4a9ple& An( sin#e ne8 8riters are #ontinually (ebuting5 it's a4io9ati# thatthey 8oul( possess 8riting #o9peten#e 8hile still in an unpublishe( state& +y the sa9etoken5 lots o! Hgoo(H 8riters an( 8riting struggle to get publishe( or are not publishe( atallB& Publishe( authors shoul( not assu9e they are better 8riters than unpublishe(

ones5 although they ery probably hae 9ore insight into the publishing pro#ess as apro!essional en(eaor&

The #o9peten#e engine o! publishing (oes not run per!e#tly but it runs pretty 8ellB&*n#o9petent 8riters an( 8riting do get publishe(?not a signi!i#ant per#entage5 but notso in!re@uently as to be entirely unnoti#eable& The reasons !or this range !ro9in#o9petent e(itors not a !re@uent o##urren#e in pro!essional publishing5 to be sureB toauthors an(Cor #elebrities 8hose !a9e is #o99er#ially signi!i#ant enough that they are#ut a 9easure o! #o9peten#e sla#k that is not aailable to the aerage s#h9oe 8riter?an( een then any publisher 8orth its salt 8oul( try to i9pose so9e a9ount o!#o9peten#e on the 8ork& +e that as it 9ay5 i! Stephen Iing or %ohn


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you kno8 (oesn't ring true to people 8ho hae been publishe(& Publishing ratherruthlessly e4#ises in#o9petent 8riters5 an( a legiti9ate publishing #o9pany thatrelease( in#o9petent 8ork on a regular basis 8oul( !in( itsel! out o! business pretty@ui#kly&

Through e!!ort an( 8ile an( the =u(i#ious use o! knee pa(s5 an in#o9petent 8riter

probably #oul( get publishe( by a legiti9ate publisher?on#e& +ut #onsi(ering all thee!!ort it 8oul( take to 9ake that happen5 it 8oul( probably be si9pler to learn ho8 to bea #o9petent 8riter& Whi#h brings us to our last point"

& Writing #o9peten#e is a learnable skill?an( there!ore 9ost people are #apable o!being #o9petent 8riters& Writing #o9petently isn't ro#ket s#ien#e> it re@uires thekno8le(ge o! #ertain gra99ati#al rules5 8hi#h are less (i!!i#ult than5 say5 #al#ulus5!ollo8e( by lots an( lots an( lots an( lots an( lots o! 8riting pra#ti#e& Yes5 so9e 8ritersare gi!te( by


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What .nline Writing i! >oo For 233 no one kno8s itsproenan#e5 8hi#h 9eans they're less 8illing to take the ti9e 8ith it5 be#ause5 a!ter all58ho are youJ reatie 8riting is also 9ore (i!!i#ult to pro(u#e on a #onstant basisparti#ularly i! you're ai9ing !or @ualityB5 9eaning that you #an't up(ate on a (aily ornear-(aily basis5 8hi#h is the 9ost (esirable !re@uen#y !or 8riting online& Finally5#reatie 8riting is so9ething akin to a per!or9an#e5 8hile blog 8riting is #loser to a#onersation& +y an( large *'e !oun( people 8ant to talk ba#k 8hen they're rea(ingonline&

pshot here" *! you e4pe#t si9ply posting #reatie stu!! online is going to open

(oors5 you're probably (elusional& *t takes ti9e?lots o! ti9e&The goo( ne8s is that it's no8 easier to (eelop an online presen#e than it 8as

be!ore& There are 9ore options to (o it si9ply5 an( the #o99unities are signi!i#antly9ore (eelope( parti#ularly in pla#es like Lie%ournal an( A3L %ournals nb" * 8ork !orthe latterBB& There are also in(ee( a nu9ber o! e(itors an( agents online5 parti#ularlythose !o#use( in genres like SFCF5 horror an( ro9an#e5 so it's not entirely in#on#eiablethat you 9ight get to kno8 the9 an( they 9ight see your 8riting& You 9ight een beaske( to sen( in so9e 8riting5 een i! you haen't put your !i#tion online ask !antasyauthor %o Walton about that" her online posts 8ere i9pressie enough that an e(itoraske( i! she'( eer #onsi(ere( 8riting !i#tionB& +ut the real a(antage 8ill be that peopleget to kno8 you5 an( get to like 8hat you hae to say& An( that 9ight hae use!ul

#arryoer into the rest o! your 8riting li!e&an youplan on itJ No& +ut you #an wor" 8ith it5 i! it (oes happen& An( in the

9eanti9e5 you 9ight =ust si9ply en=oy 8riting online5 8hi#h is a re8ar( in itsel!&


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Writing Tip! for Non6Writer! Who %on'tWant to Work at Writing

0Fe1ruary 42 233?5

A 8riting @uestion"

What 8riting tips 8oul( you 8hisper to those 8ho aren't aspiring pro!essionals5 but8oul( like to 8rite betterJ *! * aske( you about losing 8eight an( you sai( HDiet an()4er#iseH you'( be aB #orre#t an( bB ignore(& So no i(eas that take 8ork& We 8ant the@ui#k !i4; Tips like H)(it your 8orkH aren't use!ul& H


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your eyebro8 or 9ake so9e other sort o! physi#al gesture signalling that you 8ant toe9phasi$e a point&

olon" se 8hen you 8ant to 9ake an e4a9ple o! so9ething" For e4a9ple5 =ust likethis&

uestion 6ark" uite obiously5 8hen you hae a @uestion&

)4#la9ation point" When you're really e4#ite( about so9ething& You al9ost neernee( to use 9ore than one in a paragraph& se 9ore than one in a senten#e an( you(a9n 8ell better be using it !or hu9orous an(Cor ironi# e!!e#t&

Dashes" You #an use these 8hen you'e alrea(y use( a #olon or a se9i-#olon in asenten#e5 but be a8are that i! you hae 9ore than one #olon or se9i-#olon in asenten#e5 you're probably (oing so9ething 8rong&

So9e8hat relate(" se #apitals 8hen you shoul( beginning o! senten#es5 propernounsB5 (on't use the9 8hen you shoul(n't pretty 9u#h eery other ti9eB& Lots o!people think not using #apitals 9akes the9 look arty an( #ool5 but generally it =ust9akes the rest o! us 8on(er i! you'e not yet !igure( out the 9agi#al inention kno8n as

the shi!t key& Alternately5 the ran(o9 appearan#e o! #apitals in inappropriate pla#es9akes us 8on(er i! you (on't se#retly 8ish the


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8oul( be all o! you rea(ing this on 9y siteB& *! you hae a 8or(5 the spelling o! 8hi#hyou're not sure5 an( you (on't hae a (i#tionary han(y either boun( or onlineB5 #opy the8or(5 paste it into in the !inal re(u#tion the point o! gra99ar is to 9ake the language #lear toas 9any people as possible& Frankly5 * think i! 9ost non-8riters #an 9anage to getagree9ent bet8een their erb an( their sub=e#t5 *'9 8illing to spot the9 the 8hole

H8hoC8ho9H #onun(ru9&No85 obiously5 you should kno8 as 9u#h gra99ar as you #an> the 9ore gra99ar

you kno85 the better you #an 8rite& +ut the botto9 line is =ust this" Be as clear aspossible& *! you're not #on!i(ent about the gra99ar o! a senten#e5 re-8rite it an( strie!or #larity& Yes5 it's possible that in (oing so the resulting senten#e 8ill la#k style orso9ething& +ut it's better to be plain an( un(erstoo( than to hae people a(9ire yourstyle an( hae not the slightest i(ea 8hat you're trying to say&

& Front-loa( your point" *! you 9ake people 8a(e through seen paragraphs o!unrelate( ane#(otes be!ore you get to 8hat you're really trying to say5 you'e lost& Yes56ark T8ain an(


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only be#ause then you hae a better #han#e o! the9 sti#king aroun( until the en(&

7& Try to 8rite 8ell eery single ti9e you 8rite" * hae !rien(s 8ho * kno8 #an 8rite8ell 8ho sen( 9e the 9ost awful e-9ail an( *6s be#ause they !igure it (oesn't 9atterho8 9any rules o! gra99ar an( spelling they sto9p on be#ause it's =ust e-9ail an( *6&+ut i! you a#tually want to be a better 8riter5 you hae to be a better 8riter eery ti9e

you 8rite& *t 8on't "ill you to 8rite a #o9plete senten#e in *6 or e-9ail5 you kno8& The9ore you (o it5 the better you'll get at it until it 8ill a#tually be 9ore difficult to 8ritepoorly in e-9ail an( *6 than not 9obile te4t 9essaging * un(erstan( has 9oreli9itations& +ut * ten( to look at te4t 9essaging as the 2,st entury e@uialent o!se9aphore5 8hi#h is to say5 spe#iali$e( #o99uni#ation !or spe#iali$e( goalsB&

There really is no e4#use !or 8riting poorly in one's blog& At least 8ith *6s an( e-9ailyour terri!ying (ise9bo8el9ent o! the language is li9ite( to one obserer& +ut in yourblog5 you'll look stupi( !or the 8hole 8orl( to see5 an( it 8ill be ar#hie( !or as long ashu9anity re9e9bers ho8 to pro(u#e ele#tri#ity& 6aybe you (on't think anyone 8horea(s your blog 8ill #are& +ut I rea( your blog?yes in(ee( * (o?an( * #are& 6a(ly&Truly& Deeply&

ea( people 8ho 8rite 8ell" Don't =ust rea( !or entertain9ent5 but also look to seeho8 they (o their 8rit-ing?ho8 they #ra!t senten#es5 use pun#tuation5 break their proseinto paragraphs5 an( so on& Doing so takes no 9ore ti9e than rea(ing 8hat they 8riteanyway5 an( that's so9ething you're (oing alrea(y& *! you #an see 8hat they're (oing5you #an try to (o it too& You probably 8on't be able to re-#reate their style5 sin#e that'sso9ething about that parti#ular person& +ut 8hat you #an (o is re#reate theirmechanics& Don't 8orry that your o8n Hoi#eH 8ill get lost& +e rea(able first an( youro8n style 8ill #o9e later5 8hen you're #o9!ortable 8ith the nuts an( bolts o! 8riting&

When in (oubt5 si9pli!y" Worrie( you're not using the right 8or(sJ se si9pler8or(s& Worrie( that your senten#e isn't #learJ 6ake a si9pler senten#e& Worrie( thatpeople 8on't see your pointJ 6ake your point si9pler& Nearly eery 8riting proble9 youhae #an be sole( by 9aking things si9pler&

This shoul( be obious5 but people (on't like hearing it be#ause there's theassu9ption that si9ple R stupi(& +ut it's not true> in(ee(5 * !in( !ro9 personale4perien#e that the stupi(est 8riters are the ones 8hose 8riting is positiely baro7ue in!or9& All that #o9pensating5 you kno8& +esi(es5 *'9 not telling you to boil eerything(o8n to Hsee spot runH si9pli#ity& * a9 telling you to 9ake it so people #an get 8hatyou're trying to say&

lti9ately5 people 8rite to be un(erstoo( e4#epting


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C+A,T#- TW.:Yo +o Yo +o A Writer'! Life For &e

This #hapter is 9ostly about 9oney& 3h5 it's a little bit about 9e an( ho8 * got into8riting an( 8hat so9e o! the (ay-to-(ay e4perien#e o! being a 8riter is like5 an( all thathuggy5 a!!ir9atie #rap& +ut mostly5 it's about 9oney&

The reason !or that is !airly si9ple" Writing is 8hat * (o !or a liing& This is ho8 * pay9y bills5 buy 9y toys5 heat 9y house5 get gi!ts !or 9y ki( an( also an( not in#i(entallyBeat& * loe to 8rite5 an( * 8oul( (o it een i! * (i(n't get pai(& +ut as long as * can getpai(5 *'9 going to 9aintain a goo( !o#us on that aspe#t o! 9y 8riting #areer& *t keeps 9e!ro9 asking people i! they 8ant !ries 8ith that&

No85 this is the part o! the intro 8here *'9 suppose( to tell you that 8e're liing in aninteresting ti9e !or 8riters5 8hat 8ith the i99inent popular arrial o! e-books an( 8hathae you5 an( all the #hallenges they 8ill entail !or 8riters5 parti#ularly ones 8ho 8ant to9ake 9oney5 but you kno8 8hatJ 1h& *'e been 8aiting !or the i99inent popular arrial

o! e-books !or about a (e#a(e no85 an( it see9s to 9e that5 one5 books aren't ery9u#h like 9usi# or 9oies an( 9aybe 8e'll be 8aiting !or the i99inent popular arrialo! e-books !or another ten years or so5 an( t8o5 it's neer not an interesting ti9e !or8riters& +e!ore the possibility o! e-books an( ele#troni# pira#y5 8riters ha( to 8orryabout the rise o! the #hain book store an( the (e#line o! the super9arket book ra#ks&+e!ore that there 8as the initial #onsoli(ation o! publishers into 9e(ia9ega#orporations& An( be!ore that5 there 8as5 oh5 * (on't kno85 e(itors e4perien#ing(e9oni# possessions an( (eouring lagging 9i(list 8riters& *t's al8ays something&

*'e been a pro!essional 8riter !or !i!teen years5 8hi#h is not enough ti9e !or a gran(histori#al perspe#tie on the pro!ession5 but is #ertainly enough ti9e to kno8 that youcan 9ake a liing as a 8riter to(ay?an( a goo( liing at that5 i! you 8ork at it& The

pie#es in this #hapter re!le#t so9e o! the reality o! being a 8orking 8riter to(ay& Thethings you rea( here 9ight not hae been true !i!teen or t8enty years ago> they 9ightnot be true !i!teen or t8enty years !ro9 no8& +ut they are true no85 an( now is 8hen *hae to 8ork as a 8riter&

ea(yJ

E E E

+e#ause * sai( that this #hapter 8oul( be about 9oney5 let's not beat aroun( the


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45/167

The &oney #ntry

0&arch 49 233?5

An e-9ail this 9orning"

You'e sai( be!ore that you 9ake 9ore than 9ost other 8riters& *! you (on't 9in( 9easking5 ho8 9u#h (o you 9akeJ :o8 (o you kno8 it's 9ore than 8hat other 8riters9akeJ

%ust in #ase any o! you 8ere 8on(ering 8hether people !eel like they #an ask 9eanything&

3n the other han(5 * hae in !a#t suggeste( that * ten( to 9ake 9ore 9oney thanother 8riters at 9y lo8B leel o! notoriety5 an( *'e talke( (ollar su9s on #onentionpanels 8here *'e spoken about 9aking 9oney as a 8riter5 so * (on't suppose there'sany reason not to talk about it here& An( as it happens Irissy tallie( up 9y 200. in#o9elast 8eek 8hile preparing our ta4es&

So" *n 200.5 !ro9 8riting an( e(iting5 * 9a(e K,00500& An( as it happens that ispretty 9u#h (ea(-on aerage !or 9y 8riting in#o9e sin#e ,//5 8hi#h is the year *be#a9e a !reelan#e 8riter& So9e years * 9ake 9ore the top year 8as 200,5 8hen *9a(e about K,.05000 (ue to a huge a9ount o! #orporate 8orkB an( so9e years * 9akeless in 200 * 9a(e about K05000B5 but put it all in the pot an( ,00I is 9ore or less8here it aerages out& This is 9y 8ritingCe(iting in#o9e solely> our househol( in#o9e8hi#h in#lu(es Irissy's salary5 rental in#o9e an( other in#o9e sour#esB is naturallyhigher5 an( you'll !orgie 9e i! * (on't break that out !or you be#ause 8hile *'e talke(about 9y 8riting in#o9e be!ore5 the rest o! it is not !or publi# #onsu9ption& egar(less5

8e're (oing okay&Where (oes this 8riting in#o9e #o9e !ro9J *n roughly the or(er o! per#entage o!

in#o9e5 thusly"

orporate 8ork" Work * (o !or arious business #lients5 pri9arily in the !inan#ial an(online se#tors& * 8ork 8ith so9e o! these !olks (ire#tly an( also 8ork as a sub-#ontra#tor !or 9arketing an( #onsulting !ir9s& This is the stu!! * #onsi(er 9y H(ay =ob5H inthat it is #onsistent5 to the e4tent that any !reelan#e 8ork #an be5 an( there!ore * #anreliably bu(get this in#o9e or 9ore a##urately5 Irissy #an5 sin#e she han(les the


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!inan#es in the S#al$i househol(B& This is the stu!! that pays the bills 9y A3L bloggingin#o9e is in this se#tionB&

+ook in#o9e" This is pri9arily in#o9e !ro9 book a(an#es5 although last year !orthe !irst ti9e * ha( in#o9e !ro9 royalties on Boo" of the Dumb an( The #ough /uideto the 3niverseB an( also !ro9 !oreign sales& Asi(e !ro9 the books that #arry 9y na9e5

this also in#lu(es #ontributions to the n#le %ohn's +athroo9 ea(ers5 in 8hi#h#ontributors get an a#kno8le(g9ent but not a byline& They pay 8ell enough an( 8ritingthe stu!! is !un enoughB that * #oul(n't possibly #are i! 9y na9e is on eery pie#e * 8rite!or the9&

6aga$ineCNe8spaper in#o9e" This is pri9arily !ro9 t8o sour#es" The 4fficial 3S8layStation &aga9ine5 !or 8hi#h * 8rite DOD reie8s an( #o99entary #olu9ns5 an( theDayton Daily ews5 !or 8hi#h * 8rite a separate DOD #olu9n an( o##asional !eaturesan( #olu9ns& * 8ill also o##asionally sell a Whateer as a reprint to ne8spapers> t8oe4a9ples o! this are the HStan(ing p For DubyaH entry5 8hi#h * sol( to the 8hiladelphiaCity 8aper5 an( the H+eing PoorH pie#e5 8hi#h 8as in the Chicago Tribune an( otherpapers although5 as it happens5 * #hose not to take pay9ent !or that parti#ular pie#e5

8hi#h is not a usual thing !or 9eB& The 3P6 an( DDN in#o9e is also pre(i#tible *'ebeen 8riting !or both !or a nu9ber o! yearsB5 so this also gets put into the H9oney to paybills 8ithH planning le(ger& For 200.5 this a9ount also in#lu(e( in#o9e * got !ro9 guest-e(iting Subterranean 9aga$ine&

Short Fi#tion in#o9e" This is a ne8 a((ition5 base( on the #hapbooks * 8rote !orSubterranean last year HSket#hes o! Daily Li!eH an( Huestions !or a Sol(ierHB5 !or8hi#h * 8as pai( pretty 8ell 8hi#h is to say5 higher than the general rate !or SF short!i#tionB& +e that as it 9ay5 short !i#tion is5 by a signi!i#ant (iisible5 the s9allest se#tiono! 9y in#o9e& * (on't ten( to (o 9u#h short !i#tion purely !or e#ono9i# reasons?9ye4perien#e 8ith Subterranean not8ithstan(ing5 * #an be pai( signi!i#antly 9ore !or8riting short non-!i#tion than short !i#tion5 an( there are 9ore pla#es an( opportunities

to 8rite short non-!i#tion& So that's 8hat * graitate to& No85 * (o inten( to 8riteso9e8hat 9ore short !i#tion in the near !uture it's a !or9 * 8ant to get better atB5 butgien the generally ery lo8 rates the !iel( pays5 * (on't eer e4pe#t it to be a signi!i#antpart o! 9y in#o9e&

* 9ake it part o! 9y 8riting ethi# not to be a pain in theass to #lients an( e(itors5 an( also to (o 8hat * #an to gie the9 8hat they 8ant an(nee( the !irst ti9e& This is parti#ularly the #ase in #orporate 8ork> 9y ego there is!o#use( on hitting the #lients' nee(s it helps * hae other outlets 8here * #an (o 8hat *8ant 8hen * 8ant toB& +ut all the 8ay aroun( * try to be use!ul an( not a proble9 !or thepeople * 8ork 8ith&

Se#on(5 8hi#h is an e4tension o! the !irst5 * hae a lot o! #onta#ts in arious 8ritingspheres an( an e4tensie 8riting history5 8hi#h 9akes it easy !or people to hire 9eCbuy9y 8ork5 be#ause they #an see 8hat *'e (one be!ore an( kno8 * #an hit the 9arks thatnee( to be hit& Thir( an( again5 an e4tension o! the !irst t8oB5 * hae 9ultiple 8riting#o9peten#ies5 so 8hen 8ork in one sphere is slo85 * #an 8ork in another sphere o!8riting& This also allo8s 9e to (eelop a((itional #o9peten#ies 8hile still pulling (o8n


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in#o9e in things * alrea(y hae a tra#k re#or( in&

Finally" * 8rite a lot& An aerage 8eek 8ill see 9e 8riting 20k-10k 8or(s a#ross thearious 8riting =obs * hae an( at the Whateer5 8hi#h (oes not generate in#o9e(ire#tly but 8hi#h has signi!i#ant in(ire#t bene!itsB& That's a 9illion 8or(s a year5 9ost o!it pay #opy& *t a((s up&

3h5 one other thing" *'9 also sele#tie5 8hi#h 9eans * (on't 8rite eerything that'so!!ere( to 9e> * hae to see 8hether the =ob is a#tually 8orth 9y ti9e relatie to otheropportunities that e4ist& This #an lea( to so9e pain!ul #hoi#es> last year * turne( (o8nan opportunity to (o 8hat 8oul( hae been a really !un book be#ause * #oul(n't 9ake it!it 8ith other things * 8ante( an( nee(e( to (o& *'e also passe( on 8ork si9plybe#ause there 8asn't enough 9oney there to 9ake it 8orth 9y 8hile& Turning 8orka8ay is still pain!ul?the paranoi( oi#e in 9y hea( 8ho says you!ll never wor" againshouts the lou(est at these ti9es?but it's eentually ne#essary&B

* think it's possible that any #o9petent 8riter 8ho is not a pain in the ass to 8ork 8ith#an pull (o8n a reasonable su9 o! 9oney 8orking as a !reelan#e 8riter5 but * 8ill alsonote that 9y ability to 9ake a lot o! 9oney as a !reelan#er !ro9 9y !irst year is non-

typi#al an( a little (e#eptie& * (i(n't begin as a !reelan#e 8riter 8ithout e4perien#e> bythe ti9e * 8ent !reelan#e * ha( (one a seen-year 8riting apprenti#eship insi(e the#on!ines o! #orporate A9eri#a5 !irst as a ne8spaper 8riter an( then as a 8riter an(e(itor at A3L& +oth o! these 8ere e4tre9ely use!ul?the ne8spaper !or 8riting @ui#klyan( to spe#i!i#ation5 an( A3L !or both #orporate 8orl( e4perien#e an( be#ause A3L8as a hothouse !or a9bitious !olks 8ho 8ent out in the 8orl( to their o8n start-ups an(#alle( on 9e 8hen they nee(e( 8ork (one be#ause they re9e9bere( 8ho * 8as& So alot o! the years in 8hi#h * should hae been a staring !reelan#er5 buil(ing up 9y #hops5* 8as toiling happily !or The 6an an( (oing 9y #hop-buil(ing there& Also5 * 8as lu#ky inthat the people * 8orke( 8ith 8ere both a9bitious an( happy to get in tou#h 8ith 9e !or8ork& * hae neer been shy in a(9itting that lu#k has ha( a lot to (o 8ith 9y #areer>

here's another e4a9ple& 3! #ourse5 lu#k only gets one so !ar> sooner than later * ha( toba#k up the lu#k 8ith #o9peten#e& )en so5 it'( be (isingenuous to suggest it 8as all9e&

6y e4perien#e is 8hy a9ong other things * tell people not to be in an all-!ire( rush togie up their (ay =obs& 6y ti9e in #orporate A9eri#a allo8e( 9e to buil( a port!olio o!skills that 8ere use!ul 8hen * 8ent so9e8hat un8illinglyB into the !reelan#e 8orl(> otherpeople #an an( shoul( (o the sa9e& No85 9y #orporate e4perien#e 8as (ire#tly onpoint to 8riting5 8hi#h 8as a((itionally help!ul5 but een those !olks 8ith (ay =obs thatare not (ire#tly relate( to 8riting still #an get a(antages !ro9 the9 8hile they are also8orking on their 8riting& An( o! #ourse5 all this #o9es in han(y 8hether one inten(s to9ake 8riting one's pri9ary reenue sour#e or not&

Let 9e note t8o obious things& First5 8riting in#o9e is not ne#essarily an in(i#atoro! ho8 goo( a 8riter is stylisti#ally& Speaking personally * #an think o! seeral 8riters8ho * think 8rite better than *5 8ho 9ake less than * (o?an( seeral 8ho * think 8rite8orse5 8ho 9ake 9ore& Se#on(5 8riting in#o9e isn't ne#essarily an in(i#ator o! 8ritinghappiness& So9e 8riters (on't #are all that 9u#h about 9oney an( 8rite either !or !un orbe#ause they !eel #o9pelle( to> using 8riting in#o9e as a 9etri# !or the9 isn't eryuse!ul or releant& As !or 9e5 * think it's possible * #oul( 9ake 9ore as a 8riter than * (o5


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but at this point in ti9e it 8oul( 9ean taking on 9ore 8ork * hae no interest in5 8hi#h8oul(n't 9ake 9e ery happy&

What 8riting in#o9e #orrespon(s to is #o9peten#e5 opportunity an( 8illingness& *a9 a #o9petent 8riter> * a9 !ortunate to hae a lot o! opportunities to sell 8ork an( *'98illing to (o a lot o! 8ork5 in#lu(ing so9e stu!! 8hi#h isn't parti#ularly e4#iting in the

H8riters are so bohe9ianH sense& o99ensurately * 9ake a !air a9ount o! 9oney (oing8riting& 6ost 8riters hae these three !a#tors in arying a9ounts an( 9ake#orrespon(ing a9ounts o! 9oney& There are other !a#tors to be sure> these are thethree big ones5 ho8eer&

Naturally5 *'9 happy 8ith 8hat * 9ake5 an( * think oerall * hae a goo( balan#e o!8ork that's !un an( interesting5 an( 8ork *'9 happy to (o be#ause it gies 9e a stablein#o9e base !or 9y li!e an( 9y !a9ily's nee(s an( 8hen those t8o !a#tors oerlap5 asthey so9eti9es (o5 een betterB& * 8oul(n't 9in( 9aking 9ore5 although not at thee4pense o! 9y #urrent @uality o! li!e in ter9s o! !a9ily ti9e an( range o! pro=e#ts& * (on't9in( 9aking less5 as long as 9y !a9ily's nee(s are 9et an( the 8ork * get to (o issu!!i#iently appealing !or its o8n sake& Writing is a business !or 9e5 an( also a #alling&

The key is being able to get to a happy 9e(iu9 bet8een those t8o a4es& Where that9e(iu9 is5 8ork an( in#o9e-8ise5 is (i!!erent !or eeryone& * think you !in( it out 9ostlyby (oing&


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4< Thing! A1out &e an 7ook!

0%ece$1er 44 233 * #an still see the bookon astrono9y 8ith pi#tures o! stars o! all (i!!erent hues5 an( their te9peratures liste(beneath&

6y 9other use( to s#rounge ol( Ti9e-Li!e s#ien#e books an( s#ien#e te4tbooks !or9e !ro9 thri!t stores& That 8as the #oolest thing eer&

The !irst s#ien#e !i#tion noel *'9 entirely sure o! rea(ing 8as Farmer in the S"y byobert :einlein& The !irst !antasy noel *'9 entirely sure o! rea(ing is The Dar" is #isingby Susan ooper&

*'9 pretty sure * also rea(* %rin"le in Time aroun( the sa9e ti9e5 but *'9 not sure8hether it #a9e be!ore or a!ter those other t8o books&

+e#ause * both gre8 up poor an( 8as in a8e o! books5 to this (ay * rea( 9ypaperba#ks in su#h a 8ay that * (on't #ra#k the spine& *! you 8ere to #o9e oer to 9yhouse5 it 8oul( appear that all the paperba#ks hae neer been open& They hae5 trust9e&

*n high s#hool5 * burne( one o! 9y 9ath te4tbooks at the en( o! the year an(i99e(iately regrette( haing (one so5 to the point o! a#tual sha9e& * still hae there9ains o! the book to re9in( 9e that 8as essentially a betrayal o! 9y belie!s&

*t's only in the last !e8 years that *'e regularly bought har(#oer books&


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You 8oul( think that one o! the #ool things about being a 8riter is * #an go into abookstore an( see 9y o8n books there5 an( you'( be right& +ut 8hat's een #ooler isgoing into a bookstore an( seeing 9y friends! books there& *t's like being able to isitthe9 8hereer they are&

There are so9e books in 8hi#h * en=oy the 8riting so 9u#h5 * #an't bring 9ysel! to

!inish the book5 be#ause that 8oul( 9ean there is no 9ore o! the 8riting to rea(&* a9 (elighte( that 9y (aughter Athena both thinks that going to the bookstore is a

treat5 an( that not being able to buy the entire bookstore is a trage(y&

As 9u#h as * loe books5 * a9 not a serious #olle#tor& * (on't parti#ularly #are about!irst e(itions an( the like& The alue o! books is 8hat's insi(e the9&

With the e4#eption o! T8ain5 * (on't like rea(ing noels 8ritten be!ore the ,/20s& The8riting style is so (i!!erent that it's (istra#ting&

,.& *'9 not an au(io book person& * un(erstan( 8hy there is a 9arket !or the95 an( *(on't think ill o! people 8ho listen to the9?that's =ust silly& An( * 8oul(n't 9in( i! one o!9y noels 8ere 9a(e into an au(io book& +ut5 really5 they're not !or 9e& * rea( 8ith 9y

eyes5 not 9y ears& That sai(5 i! so9eone 8ere eer to (o an au(iobook ersion o! oneo! 9y books5 * 8oul( be ery intereste( to hear it?it 8oul( be interesting to hear thesoun( o! 9y literary oi#e&


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4< Thing! A1out &e an Writing

0%ece$1er 44 233 it 8as 9y tea#her5 6r& %ohnson& :is #o99ents8ere a9pli!ie( by 9y !resh9an #o9position tea#her5 6r& :ayes&

Sin#e !resh9an year in high s#hool5 *'e neer #onsi(ere( (oing anything else 8ith9y li!e other than being a 8riter&

At the risk o! soun(ing egotisti#al5 in a general sense 8riting is very easy !or 9e&Spe#i!i# pro=e#ts 9ay be (i!!i#ult (ue to resear#h or other !a#tors5 but the a#tual sitting(o8n an( #ra!ting the 8or(s has neer been a proble9& When other 8riters talk aboutho8 har( 8riting is !or the9 * #an sy9pathi$e but not really e9pathi$e&

Despite it being easy to (o5 * #an get (istra#te( !ro9 8riting pretty easily5 8hi#h #anget 9e in trouble& To so9e e4tent this is 9itigate( by 9y being able to 8rite @ui#kly .I8or(s a (ay is not un#o99on !or 9eB5 but

Documents

Scalzi on Writing