7/28/2019 SARAH-I Hate This Place

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I HATE THIS PLACE16 maj 2013, Konstfack

Varje mening i den hr texten r skriven fr ngon annan. Olikapersoner hela tiden men alltid fr ngon annan. Orden r skrivnamed specifika gon, lppar, hudfrg, kinder, namn, uppvxthistorieri minnet.

Tidigt lrde jag mig att sllan gra ngonting fr en annanmnniska, dvs. hellre rdda mig sjlv. Men eftersom jag omgavmig mestadels med kvinnor i lekskolan etc s lrde jag mig intealltid leva efter det. Istllet levde jag med att stndigt separera.Separera mellan att vilj a vara mngas lskarinna/vn, totalt uppgi det socialas sfr och att ngonstans bli vertygad om att dettavar destruktivt. Att en ska tnka p just sig sjlv, en sjlvbevarelsesom betydde att vara ensam. Och det stmmer ju p mnga stt,mnnen som jag by default skte mig till var ju alltsomoftast

vldigt elaka.

Den krleken gjorde det vldigt svrt att lska utan att skada mig.Vilket ocks gjorde mig lite elak. Jag var tvungen att avgrnsa ochhata lite, oftast p oss mig sjlv eller p andra svaga individer. Jagblev inkonsekvent, oberknelig, svartsjuk. Jag lrde mig att frstramina relationer innan de frstrde mig. Vilket de gjorde nd.

Denna tudelning, dvs. att leva i och efter ett system dr enasidan ens passion, ens vitalitet, tid och konstnrliga fantasi stndigtbakbinds och exploateras av den heterosexuella mannen och att den andra sidan, vara helt vertygad om att kvinnans begr r tillfr att producera en helt annan verklighet, fri frn honom, utanfrdetta arbetssamhlle.Denna tudelning r en kunskap om krossadehjrtan, en kunskap om en splittrad sjl och drfr en oerhrtexklusiv kunskap av vad det r att leva i kapitalismen. Det r enkonflikt mellan invanda kulturella vrden och en medvetenhet omen djup, djup orttvisa. En konflikt som r just mttet p dom andraknen i den liberala verklighetsbeskrivningen, mttet p dom

andra i samtidsberttelsen om den liberala konstutbildningen.Hr kan dom andra aldrig lska utan att ocks samtidigt hata.

Det finns en anledning till att jag lagt nstan hela min praktikutanfr den hr skolan. Jag hatar den hr platsen, jag r besvikenp min utbildning och det r inte mitt fel.

Nu brjar jag:Livet i det hr samhllet r bsta fall vldigt sorligt. P olika visvldigt ledsamt. Jag sjlv spenderar mycket tid med att grta, ihemmet, skolan, ateljn eller i den s kallade offentligheten, jag haringa problem med det. Att grta i offentligheten. Det berttar attlivet, inte bara fr mig, utan ocks fr dig som mste se mig grtaskaka, r just sorgligt och fyllt av konflikter. Ibland hller jag tillbakagrten fr att istllet kunna tala klart jag tror mig kunna f etterknnande genom att sortera mina tankar eller bara genom attgng p gng sga det sjlvklara, om och om igen, skriva det i erpanna:

Blmrken p kvinnors armar.

(paus)

En kille med massa erfarenhet av ett rasistiskt Sverige sa till mig:nr en vl brjat tnka p de hr sakerna s r det lite svrare attomotiverat vara glad. Men det r inte farligt, tvrtom.

Ibland grter jag i skriftenIbland grter jag med hjlp av en dlig eller vldsam lskare.Ibland grter jag i snger som mina vnner skrivit:http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2altW3kLK8

Ibland grter jag i teater: samspelt, invat, i kontakt med de andra,vldigt precist och med vldigt mnga timmars arbete bakomeftersom det r s oerhrt viktigt det som ska kommuniceras. Denteater vi startade Jordbro Stadsteater startades p en plats sominrymde ngot s unikt som en mjlighet att ha synliga konflikter.Dr mnniskor skulle kunna ha knt att de hade rtt till ett utrymme.Dr mnniskor skulle kunna ha knt att de hade rtt till ett utrymme.

En rtt som inte riskerades varje gng ngon uttryckte ett missnjeeller ett klasshat. Den allmnna verkligheten hade ngon kallatdet. Kommunism nn annan, som sagt utan att riskera sin rtttill platsen. Fr den konfliktfyllda, dvs. allmnna platsen existerarknappt lngre. Och om den gr det ngonstans s r den vldigtvag eller bevakad och drmed inte speciellt lskad. Den allmnnaplatsen r i sjlva verket s olskad s att en privatisering, enrensning, en borttrngning kan dra tyst men effektivt frbi.

Och snart har konstnren eller designern som flyttar in hr iEricssons gamla lokaler skrivit ur sig sjlv ur denna rensningsprocessgenom att gra godknda, kortsiktiga konstprojekt.

(paus)

Jag hatar den hr platsen.

(paus)

Egentligen spelar sna hr (och liknande) sammanhang intengon som helst roll fr den som intresserar sig fr riktig krlek,dvs. riktig feminism. Eller de borde inte behva gra det. I sjlvaverket hrbrgerar de motsatsen per automatik. Och de tenderaratt gra allt annat till motsatsen, till likadant: konsten, kpcentrum,husfasader, kvinnor och barns utseenden, allt anpassat efter sinegen ekonomiska, likriktande logik.

P den hr platsen kan det dock vara lite svrare att avtcka, detunkna konceptet tolerans har lnge sttt i vgen fr konstskolansfrnderliga sjlvbild. ven om en shr intellektuell plats aldrigskulle erknna det. P det stora hela kan det kallas olika saker:

modernitet ibland, konstnrlig frihet, vlstnd, dialog, demokrati,frihet igen och nr det blir riktigt puckat ven fr fred.I ett sdant samhlle, i den totalt avsocialiserade konsten, ja i helaarbetssamhllet blir sjlvdestruktivitet lika med att vara utsatt frngonting. Att vara ett offer. Att inte kunna/vilja arbeta, att barabara grta grta och lska tills en briserar av mktighet.Eller att fr den delen helt enkelt inte p ngot vis ligga fr kapital.

(lngre paus)

I den hr vrlden har jag brjat tro att mnniskor slutat lska migfr att jag inte hunnit rttstava p internet, fr att jag tjatar om attbli lskad, fr att jag berttar om att jag blivit utnyttjad, fr att jaginte r lika vacker som fregende dag, eller fr att jag fortfarandetycker att modeindustrin aldrig kan vara radikal (efter somden som inte br det nya outar sin fientlighet mot ekonomin).Krleksfrlusten fr mig att hata p deras ansikten, jag tillskriver

dem motsatsen till att vara mig.

Men om jag d minns insikten som kommit till mig gng p gng:om vad som egentligen krvs fr att totalt tillintetgras, bli tom,krleksls, brnnas ut (och det r inte en neuro-psykiatrisk sjukdom)s kan vi ocks konstatera att det r logiken, och drmed vr kultursom r nedbrytande och sjlsddande, som krossar vra hjrtan.

Den hr texten handlar om krlek. Den felaktigt frstdda. Den somvgrar den andres subjektsblivande. Den som sger dig att denfrsta frfrelsen ska vara den eviga, den som ringer i ditt huvudatt sdan vill jag alltid att du r, den som vill behlla din pstddastyrka och glans intakt. Det r en text om den kultur som reducerardin omedelbara krlek till ett kpslende kring relationer. En kultursom totalt frintar all den positiva vrdepotential krleken fr medsig, som den skulle kunna ha; att dela, att vara ppen fr andra, attuppg i andra. En annan politik.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxny2KMd0TI

Ingenting fljer det frhrskande frnuftet ssom knslorna. I denhr snva kontexten dr nyliberala krafter vill etablera just denhr antidemokratiska ideologin s r att bara bry sig om sig sjlv,sin karrir, egentligen bara logiskt. Men samtidigt delgger denhr politiska ekonomin alla intressanta samtal med hjlp av olikamyndigheter och institutioner. Skendemokratiska ekorrhjul som skahitta p frnuftsmssiga, kreativa, konstnrliga, demokratiskaoch fullkomligt passiva lsningar p samhllets problem. Ngotsom sklart r en motsgelse. Demokrati grs inte uppifrn, denkan aldrig, aldrig vara ett lfte frn en myndighet eller institution.Eller frn Konstfack. Punkt. Men ndock fastnar de kritiska sjlarnasom nd finns hr i institutionskritik eller ingen kritik alls pga. totalutbrndhet eller ensamhet.

En ensamhet som sklart inte r sann. De allra flesta r ju drabbade.

Men som knns som ensamhet. Varfr? Fr att vi r s himlalngt ifrn varandra, ven hr. Fr att vi r i frsvar av det vi r stacksamma fr att vi har ftt: ett jobb p kommunen, en plats pvrutstllningen.

Den hr platsen, allts den hr platsen hr, Konstfack, r i vissaavseende vldigt trygg. Och med det menar jag fr oss som grhr. Trygg som i ett varumrke; frenande, identitetsskapande ochhomogen, familjrt. Vi hr har ju mjlighet att i alla fall ltsas att vir frn samma stlle. Den ger oss en knsla av tillhrighet och avgaranterad bekrftelse p ett eller annat stt. I utbyte frvntasspontanitet, en grnsls fantasi i det fria rummet, ett fritt tnkandesom ska ta oss utanfr, ngonting. Ngonting ingen vet vad detr. Och framfrallt frvntas att vi ser hur fritt detta rum r ochuppskattar det. Och jo, absolut, det r ju fritt. Om frihet inte stri relation till andra mnniskor.

Fr inrymmer den hr platsen verkligen helt utflippade konstnrligafantasier nr det inte finns en bestndig, och jvligt akut diskussionom vad vithet eller medelklassighet har fr inverkan p vad fr konstsom grs? Hur den konsten ser ut? Eller terigen frgan fr denkan aldrig f nog med utrymme i ett verkligt politiskt samtal om

vem som stdar och vem som fr stdat och vad det har medsamtidskonstens begrnsningar att gra. Eller bara en diskussionom innehll?

Tyvrr tror jag inte det kommer ngon relevant konst utifrntystnaden. Tror inte den hr platsen spelar ngon roll. Inte ommnniskor inte vljer att solidarisera sig. Bara om konsten rngonting utanfr det egna fretagandet som s klart rmotsatsen till solidarisering.

Shr: Det gr inte att organisera sig nr den yttersta konstnrligafantasin r den om individuell finansiering. DET GR INTE ATTGRA RELEVANT KONST NR DEN YTTERSTA KONSTNRLIGAFANTASIN R DEN OM INDIVIDUELL FINANSIERING.

En fantastisk performancekonstnr sa till den store vrldsbermde,skitrike musikern eller konstnren: I loved you when they hated youand I hated you when they loved you. Istllet fr att vara obstinats menade hon att kapitalismen r ett svart jvla hl, ett sugande,lockande, kvvande svart hl som slukar allt den kommer t, fr attlmna offren utanfr. Hon sjlv var ju kvar p gatan. Och om intehon var kvar p gatan, s var ngon annan det.

Tills det att det passar. Tills dess att kapitalrelationen hittat ettstt att anvnda sig av mngfalden, bgarna, invandrarna, vraaffektiviteter, ja vr krlek till att expandera. In i vra hjrtan. In i denkorrupta, lynniga, whatever works for me-lggningen/sexualitetenska vi. Dr ett missnje eller ett konstverk tolkas med hjlp avvldigt f personers inkomster. I hate this place och politikernasvarar med att slja ut jordens sista allmnnytta. Eller s svararinstitutionen med: men vad gr du hr d?. I en s pass nyckfull

verklighet blir ltt ocks krleken ngonting som gr att koppla avoch p utefter efterfrgan.

(paus)

Frgrelsen av vra allmnningar gr ALLTID och detta rvldigt viktigt att komma ihg hand i hand med delggandetav det privata kn insprrade i det patriarkal-romantiska hjrtatsogrund. En kllare, en modern lgenhet, knullceller med fjrrvrme:bildskrmen framfr ansiktet och bilen utanfr drren. Krleken felaktigt frstdd mter frihetens omfattning i termer av kpkraft.Protesterar du, d r det din personliga upplevelse, det r bara dinegen lilla fiktion.

(paus)

Drfr r detta i allra hgsta grad en feministisk frga.

(lngre paus)

Det vrsta jag vet r nr ngon sger till mig eller ngon annan:det dr behver jag inte ta ansvar fr lngre eller mer ppetkanske: jag vill inte behva tnka p det sen kan flja: nr jag grkonst eller nu nr vi har gjort slut eller vadsomhelst. Det r likamed krlekens slut, just dr.

Det hr talet handlar om kollektiva svek. Frn man till kvinna,frn rika till fattiga m.m, mfl:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAoABuJS1MA

En jvligt god vn sa: Till skillnad frn dlig teater, film och annanhistoriedikt s r detta inte en konflikt som ligger inuti en mnniska.Den ligger inte inuti mig.

Eftersom varje missfall r en arbetsolycka i det hr samhllet...

Eftersom varje missfall r en arbetsolycka i det hr samhllet,s grter du heller aldrig ensam...

(paus)

Om du br dina sr ppet, underlivet i pannan eller vadsom, skommer ngon att frr eller senare sga t dig att slnga av digofferkoftan eller anvnda ngon annat liberal-sprkligt tillhyggeemot dig. Men kom d ihg att jag sger detta nu: ta fr guds skullaldrig, aldrig av dig den d. Sticka fler eller br andras. Fr om duinte r snkt av en bruten, frbrukad kropp eller av fattigdom ochtidsbrist s r i alla fall din och drmed vr gemensamma frmgaatt lska det.

(paus)

Som vi nu alla hr vet s exkluderar konstskolorna folk som inter s kallade EU-medborgare med ekonomin som medel och ml.Och samtidigt rensar den krnkta staten efter ras med bl.a offentligsektor som medel och ekonomin som ml. Jag kan sga dettydligare: det r frukten av exakt samma politik med exakt sammaml. n tydligare: vrt land vill bara ha kpstarka individer sommedlemmar. Detta i sin tur gr platser obehagliga att vistas p ochkrnker alla som vistas dr med sitt perverterade maktspel. De sominte frmr konsumera oss ur den alltjmt fallande ekonomin r intevlkomna hr. Inte p den hr skolan, inte i Sverige och snart inteheller i sitt eget nromrde. P sin hjd blir de till den som terigen,i fiktionen infrlivas, blses till liv, av den vite konstnren:

En rasistisk struktur producerar sklart en rasistisk kultur.

Det gr det lngt ifrn tryggt och lngt ifrn behagligt att vara hr.

Jag hatar den hr platsen. Och det r inte mitt fel.

En intelligent konstnr, hon ser klart och svarar rakt p frgan omvarfr samtida konst trots allt det hr r s omttligt attraktiv:Jo, sger hon, fr att den r och presenterar en spegelbild av post-

demokratin i hyperkapitalismen. Den framstller sig ofrutsgbar,briljiant, lynnig, driven av inspiration, liksom en oligark i revolutionmot diktatur, grna vill se sig sjlv. Den traditionella rollen avkonstnren dvs den egna fretagaren korresponderar vldigtbra med sjlvbilden hos de som strvar mot toppen i ett envlde.Som ser regeringen som en potentiell konstform. Post-demokratiskaregeringar som den vi har hr i Sverige idag relaterar vldigt mkttill denna oberkneliga manliga konstnrsroll: oklar i tanken, korrupt,lite dum och helt och hllet otillfrlitlig. En hatare av verklig konstoch kultur. En inflytelserik person hr p skolan bekrftade nyligenatt vrutstllningen inte i frsta hand r till fr att vi studenter skavisa vra verk, utan fr att marknadsfra skolan.

(paus)

Hr styr den enskildes smak. Hr r den enskildes smak normen,eftersom att det enskilde r i majoritet, eftersom den enskilde rnormen. Resten, de krumma figurer som inte r enskilda, utan del avbestmda grupper, deras berttelser r bara personliga upplevelser.

Krleken, ssom vi tenderar att efterleva den, r odemokratisk, socks konstnrens strvan och ml i den hr politiska ekonomin.Konsten hnrycker och gentrifierar, frfr och konsumerar och sendumpar den dig, trasig, frvirrad med en obotlig lngtan efter merfrn din frvare.

Jag citerar henne igen: om samtidskonsten r svaret, d r frgan:hur kan kapitalismen gras lite mer attraktiv. Jag kommer alltid attmed smrta sakna fantasin om oss, och om den radikala konsten.

7/28/2019 SARAH-I Hate This Place

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I HATE THIS PLACEMay 16 2013, Konstfack

Every sentence in this text is written for someone else. Differentpersons all the time, but always for someone else. Words arewritten with specific eyes, lips, colour of skin, names, childhoodstories in mind.

I learnt at an early age to seldom do anything for another humanbeing, that is to rather save myself. But since I surrounded myselfwith mostly women in nursery school etc, I learnt not to alwaysaccept this. Instead I lived in continuous separation. Separatingbetween wanting to be the lover/friend of many, merging totallywith the social sphere, and somewhere in all this getting convincedthat this was destructive. That one should think of oneself, a self-preservation that meant being alone. And of course this adds upin many ways, the men I pursued by default were often very cruel.

That kind of love however, made it very hard to love withouthurting myself. It also made me somewhat mean. I had todemarcate and hate a little, mostly on myself, or on other weakindividuals. I became erratic, incoherent and jealous. I learnt topreemptively destroy my relationships, before they destroyd me.

This dichotomy, i.e. to live by and inside a system where on onehand ones passion, ones vitality, time and artistic imaginationconstantly become fettered and exploited by the male hetero-sexual, and on the other hand being entirely convinced that awomans desire exists, freed from this male, to produce a totallydifferent reality outside the working society; this dichotomy meansknowledge of broken hearts, knowledge of a shattered soul, andtherefore an incredibly exclusive knowledge of what its like to liveunder capitalism. This is a conflict between accustomed culturalvalues and an awareness of a deep, deep injustice. It is the measureof the other sexes in the liberal narrative of reality, the measureof the others in the contemporary narrative of the liberal arts

education. In this place, the others can never love without hatingat the same time.

There is a reason for my locating almost my entire practiceoutside of this school. I hate this place, I am disappointed withmy education and it is not my fault.

This is where I begin:Life in this society is at its best very sad. In some ways verysorrowful. I myself spend a lot of time crying, at home, at school,in my studio, or in the so-called open. I dont have a problem withthis, crying in public. Doing this tells us that life is sad and full ofconflicts, not just in my case, but also for you who have to watchme weep, shake. Sometimes I hold back so as to be able to speakclearly - by clearly organizing my thoughts or by merely incessantlyrepeating the obvious, writing it down on your forehead:Bruises on the arms of women.

(pause)

A guy with lots of experience from racist Sweden said to me: whenone finally has started to think about these things it makes beingcauselessly happy a little more difficult. But this is not dangerous.On the contrary.

I sometimes cry in writing.I sometimes cry with the help of a bad or violent lover.I sometimes cry singing songs written by friends:https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x2altW3kLK8

I sometimes cry through theatre: in interaction, rehearsed, incontact with the others, meticulously and with many hours ofwork behind, since what is supposed to convey is of such greatimportance. The theatre we founded Jordbro Stadsteater started out in a place containing something as unique as anopportunity to deal visibly with conflicts. Where people could havebeen able to feel they had the right to a space. Where people couldhave been able to feel they had the right to a space...

A right that wouldnt be put into question whenever someoneexpressed discontent or class hatred. Someone would have calledit common reality. Someone else would have called it communism.Like I said, without the risk of jeopardising their right to thespace. This said because the conflict-ridden, i.e. common place,hardly exists anymore. And if it does it is very indefinite, undersurveillance, and therefore not particularly loved. The commonplace is in fact so unloved that privatisation, elimination andrepression can pass through silently and effectively.

And soon enough, the artist or designer now moving into Ericssonsold buildings will have excused him or herself out of this eliminationprocess by producing approved, short-term art projects.

(pause)

I hate this place.

(pause)

Contexts such as these dont really matter at all to the onesinterested in real love, i.e. true feminism. At least they shouldntmatter. In fact they harbour the opposite by definition. They turneverything else into the opposite, into the-same: art, shoppingcentres, facades, the appearances of women and children,everything conformed according to its own economicstandardising logic.

In this place, however, this can be somewhat harder to detect. Fortoo long has the stale concept of tolerance stood in the way of theart schools wavering self-image. Though a place this intellectual

would never admit it. Altogether this goes by many names:modernity, artistic freedom, wealth, dialogue, democracy, freedomonce again - and when things get really desperate peace.

In such a society, in an art world totally devoid of socialisation,really in all manners of the working society, self destructivity equalsbeing subject to something. Equals being a victim. Not being ableto/wanting to work, only to cry, cry, and love, until one bursts withmight.

Or for that matter, refusing by any means to fuck for capital.

(longer pause)

In this world I have come to believe that people might stop lovingme because I havent had time to correct my spelling on theinternet, because I nag about wanting to be loved, because Im notas beautiful as I was the day before, or because I think that the

fashion industry never could be radical (since one who doesnt wearwhats brand-new demonstrates ones animosity towards economy.)The loss of love makes me hate their faces, I ascribe to them thevery opposite of being me.

If we remember what has come to us time and again: knowledgeof what it actually takes to become annihilated, empty, loveless,burnt-out (and its not a neuro-psychiatric illness) we can confirmthat what breaks our hearts is the logic, consequently our corrosiveand soul-destroying culture.

This text is about love. Misconceived love. Love that wants to arrestthe subject. The kind that tells you that the first seduction shouldbe the eternal, the kind that rings in your head, I want you tostay like this forever, the one that wants to preserve your allegedstrength and brilliance. It is a text that concerns a culture thatreduces immediate love to a bargaining in relations. A culture whichannihilates all the positive potential of value that love brings, orcould bring; sharing, being open to others, merging with others.

A different kind of politics.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lxny2KMd0TI

Nothing pursues dominant reason such as feelings. In this narrowcontext where neoliberal forces strive towards establishing anantidemocratic ideology, its simply logical to only care for oneselfand ones career. At the same time this political economy, aidedby different authorities and institutions, ruins all interestingconversation. The hamster wheels of this sham democracy canonly offer up rational, creative, artistic, democratic and totallypassive suggestions and solutions to societys problems. Which ofcourse is a paradox. Democracy could never come from above, itcould never be a vow made by an authority or an institution, or byKonstfack. Period. But still the critical souls, that nonetheless canbe found here, get caught up in institutional critique or no criticismat all due to loneliness or total burn-out.

Why? Because we are so far away from each other. Even here.Because we defend what we so gratefully have acquired: a position

at the council, a space at the spring show.

(pause)

This place here, Konstfack, is in certain respects very safe. By thatI mean safe for us who study here.

The saftey of a trade mark. Unifying, identity developing,homogenous, familiar. I mean, at least we have the possibility topretend we come from the same place. This comfort gives us asense of belonging and acknowledgement in one way or another.In exchange it expects spontaneity, limitless imagination in the openspace, a free thinking that is supposed to take us out of something.A something which no one can define. Above all we are expected tosee how free this space is, and to appreciate it. And yes, absolutely, itis free. If freedom doesnt stand in relation to other human beings.

I mean, does this place really contain totally freaked out artisticfantasies, when there is no continuous and damn urgent discussion

on how art is affected by whiteness or middle-class convention?Or, once again, the issue of who is cleaning up and after whom, andhow this is related to the limitations of contemporary art.

Unfortunately I dont think this silence can generate relevant art. Idont think this place matters, not if people choose not to solidarize.Only if art is something other than than entrepreneurship whichof course is the opposite of solidarisation.

Its like this: ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO ORGANIZE OR TO MAKERELEVANT ART WHEN THE ULTIMATE ARTISTIC FANTASYIS THAT OF INDIVIDUAL FINANCING.

A great performance artist said to the world famous, stinking richmusician or artist: I loved you when they hated you and I hatedyou when they loved you. Rather than being obstinate she meantthat capitalism is a black fucking hole, an absorbing, tempting,demanding black hole that gobbles up everything it can get holdof, leaving its victims in the cold. She herself was left in the street.And if she wasnt, somebody else was.

Until the capital relation has found a way of using diversity, gaypeople, immigrants, affectivity, our very love to expand. Straightinto our hearts. Into the corrupt, moody mentality and sexualityof whatever works for me are where were headed. Wheredissatisfaction or a work of art is interpreted with the help of theincome of a very few. I hate this place, and the politicians respondwith selling offthe last public utility on earth. Or the institutionreplies In that case, what are you doing here?. In a reality thiserratic, even love is easily turned into something you can switch onand offon demand.

(pause)

The annihilation of our public domains and this is very importantto remember is always connected to the ruination of the privatesphere. Sexes interned in the non-foundation of the patriarchal-romantic heart. A cellar, a modern flat, fucking cells with districtheating: the display in front of your face and the car outside yourdoor. Love misconceived measures the dimensionality offreedom in terms of spending power. Make a protest, and its merelyyour personal perception, merely your own little fiction.

(pause)

That is why this is a crucial feminist issue.

(longer pause)

The worst thing I know is when Im told, or when someone I loveis told I dont need to take responsibility for that anymore, orperhaps in a more outright manner; I dont want to think aboutit, perhaps followed by when Im making art or now that wevebroken up. Love ends right there.

This speech is about collective deceit. From male to female,from rich to poor, and so on.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jAoABuJS1MA

A really good friend said: This is not a conflict that lies within ahuman being, unlike bad theatre, cinema and other fictions. Itsnot within me.

Since every miscarriage is a work accident in this society

Since every miscarriage is a work accident in this society youllnever cry alone.

(pause)

If you wear your wounds out in the open, your genitals on yourforehead or whatever, somebody is going to scour you sooneror later with stop wearing that goddamn victim costume orsome other phrase out of the liberal lingo arsenal. But please doremember what Im saying now: do not for anything in this world,ever, ever take it off. Tailor new ones, or wear others. Because ifyoure not down and out due to a broken and used body, or dueto lack of money and time, your (therefore our mutual) ability tolove is.

(pause)

As we now know, people without so called EU citizenship are beingexcluded from the art schools, economy being both goal andmeans. Meanwhile the state cleanses itself of the unwanted after anethnic scale, with public service as means and the economy as goal.Let me be clear: these are the fruits of exactly the same politics

with exactly the same goal. Clearer still: our country only wantsindividuals with great purchasing power for members. This in turnmakes places unpleasant to visit, and violates those who do, withits perverted powerplay. Those who cant afford to consume us outof the declining economy are not recognized by this school, not bythis country, and soon not by their own neighbourhoods. At bestthey turn into life stories for the white artist to once again integratewith fiction:

Racist structure obviously produces racist culture.

This makes it far from safe, and far from pleasant to be in this place.

I hate this place. And it is not my fault.

An intelligent artist sees things clearly and gives a straightforwardanswer to why contemporary art in spite of all this is excessivelyattractive. Well, she says, its because it mirrors post-democracyunder hypercapitalism. It poses as unpredictable, brilliant, moody,

inspiration-driven, just like an oligarch revolting against dictatorshiplikes to see himself. The traditional role of the artist i.e. theentrepreneur corresponds very well with the self image of thosestriving to get to the highest point of autocracy, those who see thegovernment as a potential art form. Post-democratic governments such as our Swedish government highly relate to this unreliablerole of the male artist. Vagueness of the mind, corrupt, somewhatstupid, and thoroughly untrustworthy. Someone that hates real artand culture. An influential person at this school recently declaredthat the essential purpose of the spring exhibition is in fact topromote Konstfack, not for us student to show our work of art.

(pause)

In this place the preference of the individual is in control, it is thenorm, since the individual is in majority, since the individual isthe norm. The rest, a few bent characters that are part of certaincategories, their stories are merely of anecdotal value.

Love, as we tend to live by it, is undemocratic, as are the aspirationsof the artist in this political economy. Art enraptures and gentrifies,seduces then ditches you, broken and disoriented, leaving you withan unquenchable desire for more from your perpetrator.

Ill quote her again: if contemporary art is the answer, the questionis: how can we make capitalism a little more attractive?. I willforever and painfully miss the fantasy of our unity, and of radicalarts.