SHOW! DON’T TELL.

“Don’t say the old lady screamed. Bring her out and let her scream.”

- Mark Twain

The puppy was so cute.

OR

Eyes wide, tail wagging rapidly, the 3-month old beagle puppy tumbled over his siblings as he raced to greet me first. His black-and-white body slammed against the cage right before he stuck his little pink tongue through to say “hello” to my fingers.

“SHOWING” STRATEGIES

using action verbsdescribing (using vivid, image-

evoking detail) the character’s actions rather than just stating one of their qualities or emotionsadjectives, adverbs, strong & precise words

using similes and metaphorsusing dialogueappealing to some of the five senses to

paint a picture of what is happeningevoking the emotion from the reader

REVIEW: ACTION VERBS

Hala was fast. Hala sprinted.

Rameen and Salma were quick learners when it came to using action verbs.

Salah is a good writer. Salah writes well.

It was warm and sunny. The sun radiated warmth.

Thomas Edison was an inventor who made electric light bulbs.

Thomas Edison invented electric light bulbs.

Rameen and Salma quickly learned how to use action verbs.

YOUR TURN!

Directions: Watch this video and describe what’s happening usingprecise action verbs.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cUwzxVu6n08

ADDING DETAIL

Hannah sprinted triumphantly across the finish line, pumping her fists as she reveled in her first win as a member of the freshman track team.

Think: Who? What? Where? When? Why?

Hannah won the race.

I was nervous for the roller coaster.Suddenly, the ride attendant unhooked the chain to our line and it was time. Gulp. Head low, I shuffled to my cold plastic seat. Restraining bars descended against my body. I knew they were the only thing protecting me from a lofty death, yet they still felt like they were suffocating me. Imprisoning me. There was no escape now. The coaster shot forward.

YOUR TURN!

Directions: Add action verbs and detail to the following sentence (be creative with the details!):

She was sad to hear the news.

DIALOGUEMy mom was really mad that I was late for curfew.

“This is the final straw! If you won’t respect our rules when you leave the house, then you won’t leave the house! You’re grounded for a month and don’t even think about asking to go to Sam’s birthday party!” hollered my mom.

As soon as I walked in the door, my mom’s body swelled. She was a tremendous, undulating wave surging backwards as she rolled onto her heels to give herself more momentum. I braced myself for the oncoming deluge of condemnation.

SIMILES & METAPHORS

YOUR TURN!

Directions: Incorporate dialogue and either a simile or metaphor to enhance the sentence below:

My dad was excited when he saw my report card.

APPEALING TO THE SENSES

It was hot outside.

Under the sweltering sun, the sweat continued to glide slowly down my already-moistened face, with a few salty beads finding their way between my cracked, parched lips.

I ate macaroni and cheese for dinner. It’s my favorite.My mom placed the bowl of buttery, cheesy noodles on the table. Steam rose. The golden u-shaped pasta glistened beneath the crunchy brown breadcrumb topping. My mom gives it a quick stir and my ears filled with the distinct creamy sound. I plunged my spoon through the pile on my plate and filled my mouth with velvety, salty, cheddar goodness.

EVOKING EMOTIONI miss my dog.Her fur still clings to my sweaters, my couch, my carpet. Her half-eaten rawhide and fuzzy penguin lay abandoned near her favorite spot on the floor, now cold. I love to look at my framed picture of her, with a stick in her mouth, outside in her element. Sometimes, I still put ice cubes in her water bowl, just the way she likes it.

YOUR TURN!

Directions: Revise one of the sentences below to include sensory detail that evokes emotion from your readers (you may need to do this with a few sentences).

Our car broke down on the way to school.

I sat down to take the big exam.