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FUCK CHINESE MOMSBy Erich Schulte: February 1, 2011

Lets start with the popular view of China and its role in the future. This whole Chinese Moms controversy wasonly possible because this is what we actually believe:

It seems to be a common enough view that this race of pitiless automatons will come to dominate us all. Butreally, this baroque showcase is evidence of why China isntmuch of threat to become a global hegemon. Yes, thdisplay was impressive, but thats all it is. The Chinese probably raised everyone who participated in the opening

ceremony from birth to complete a simple robot task for the purpose of impressing all of the other countries, thenkilled them and harvested their organs for military rations the minute the international circus left town. Why is thathreatening? Why is that a model for success? Its like a nerd trying to impress the cool girls by renting a massivelimo and blowing a years babysitting money.

How would, say, England achieve the same effect? England is a superpower of the past, of course, but theyre stilin with the cool crowd and get their fair share of the action. England is McConaughey in Dazed and Confused.And how would they wow the world if they put on such a ceremony? Not by reducing thousands of their citizensto parts in an amusing cuckoo clock that only works once. No need to try so hard. Theyd trot out The Stones,Elton John, The Who (nobody would care that the good members are dead) Gary Glitter and Subhumans. Andeverybody would swoon. That China relies on elaborate contrivances to impress, rather than the naturalbyproducts of their culture, evidences the fact we dont need to fear them. Every totalitarian society compels its

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people to participate in these ridiculous displays. They have no choice because they stifle the individualism andcreativity that generates stuff that is actually worthwhile in itself.

Awe of China is rooted almost entirely in the fantasies of bean counters who look at the massive population andjust assume that ????= Profit!!! If China is ever even half as wealthy (per capita) as the U.S., imagine how manpairs of Dockers we would sell there! Billionaires will become multi-billionaires! China is the conduit for thecontinued growth of capitalism. Therefore China is, THE FUTURE!

But Chinas always been enormous, repressive and had great resources and its never really been a first team all-

pro on the world stage. And Western imperialism doesnt explain why theyve been eating Japanese and Koreandust for some time or why the enclaves of Chinese success in Hong Kong and Taiwan happened to occur insegregation from the mainland. Yes, the raw tools are there. But China is Shawn Kemp to Japans John Stocktonand Americas Magic Johnson. And theres no real reason to think that will ever change. Even if the big Westerneconomies collapse, that will just mean the whole world turns into the D-League. A lengthy preamble, I know, buI think that is important to understand the baselessness of the robophobia it exploits, before taking a look AmyChuas Wall Street Journalarticle, I Am A Hideous Cunt.

Im not going to give this the full Hackwatch treatment because Chua obviously just makes a bunch of shit up andI dont want to spend too much time commenting on material written to draw comment. Like, in the beginning ofher article, she goes through the obligatory song and dance about how moms of any nationality can be ChineseMoms, so that she can pretend that she isnt race bating when she says stuff like, if a Chinese child gets a B

which would never happenthere would first be a screaming, hair-tearing explosion.

china222

But lets run through the core points, because I do think Chua believes in her underlying message and the responseto the piece is embarrassing either way. She does believe that it is acceptable to replace the pleasures of privilegedchildhood with a program for destroying individuality. She is consumed by impressing other people (perhaps onereason shes willing to use dishonesty to add bestselling author to her CV). And she is horrible. Lets just divin.




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Here are some things my daughters, Sophia and Louisa, were never allowed to do:

attend a sleepover

have a playdate

be in a school play

complain about not being in a school play

watch TV or play computer games

choose their own extracurricular activities

get any grade less than an A

not be the No. 1 student in every subject except gym and drama

play any instrument other than the piano or violin

not play the piano or violin.

Is all of this true? Well, when supporting the book on The Colbert Report, Chua clarified. Apparently, when shesaid never she meant between the ages of nine and thirteen. Maybe she went back to her original story for FoNews appearances. I dont know. But I do think that she honestly favors this kind of deprivation and its clear thamany readers are willing to fall in line with such a program, or at least admire it from afar as an example ofChinese superiority, real or imagined (its imagined).

That leads me to my first Tarantino quote in about twelve years: Are you such a loser that you cant tell whenyouve won? In other words, the fact that your kids can attend sleepovers and play video games as opposed tosay, die of malaria or be raped by the soldiers of a local warlord, makes up a large portion of the spoils of victory

To struggle so that your children might one day be in a position to view Shrekwith pure pleasure or stay up allnight eating candy with their friends, only to gleefully deny them that and turn your home into a boot camp seemsnot only sadistic, but perhaps self-defeating. They could have practiced the violin for three hours a day if theydbeen born in China.

What Chinese parents understand is that nothing is fun until youre good at it. To get good at anything youhave to work, and children on their own never want to work, which is why it is crucial to override theirpreferences.

I know Chua is basically trolling here, but I still think that this has to come from a pretty warped mind. Like, howdoes one dream up such a twisted notion of fun? Water slides cant be fun unless you figure out some way ofproving you are better at going down them than everybody else? What a great way to go through life.

Heres an excerpt from her book, Im An Even Bigger Cunt Than You Thought. Its about rejecting her childsbirthday card because it wasnt good enough.




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china111

I grabbed the card again and flipped it over. I pulled out a pen from my purse and scrawled HappyBirthday Lulu Whoopee! I added a big sour face. What if I gave you this for your birthday Lulu- wouldyou like that? But I would never do that, Lulu. No I get you magicians and giant slides that cost mehundreds of dollars. I get you huge ice cream cakes shaped like penguins, and I spend half my salary onstupid sticker and erase party favors that everyone just throws away. I work so hard to give you good

birthdays! I deserve better than this. So I reject this. I threw the card back.

Personally, I dont mind rejecting the card if it really was half-assed. But the hysterical overreaction is telling.Chua simply cannot be faking the rudeness and imperiousness that drips from every word. If I woke up in BillGates body tomorrow, my first order of business would be to be to pay her daughters $1 Billion each to star in aporno. It would be called Chua Chua Train and it would be filmed in a box car with a bunch of hobos.

As an adult, I once did the same thing to Sophia, calling her garbage in English when she acted extremelydisrespectfully toward me. When I mentioned that I had done this at a dinner party, I was immediatelyostracized. One guest named Marcy got so upset she broke down in tears and had to leave early. My friendSusan, the host, tried to rehabilitate me with the remaining guests.

Confucius say, follow the path of righteousness and you too can become an obnoxious asshole who takes pride inruining dinner parties. Im sure the story is grossly exaggerated, but we still get a clear picture of a woman whodelights in imposing herself on others and cant wait to flaunt her misdeeds to as many as possible. Hey, guesswhat, guess what, guess what I threatened to lock my child outside in the snow once because she didnt want topractice the piano! Can you believe it? I totally did! Does that upset you? Does it, does it, does it?

Chinese parents demand perfect grades because they believe that their child can get them. If their childdoesnt get them, the Chinese parent assumes its because the child didnt work hard enough. Thats whythe solution to substandard performance is always to excoriate, punish and shame the child. The Chineseparent believes that their child will be strong enough to take the shaming and to improve from it. (Andwhen Chinese kids do excel, there is plenty of ego-inflating parental praise lavished in the privacy of the

home.)




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Third, Chinese parents believe that they know what is best for their children and therefore override all oftheir childrens own desires and preferences. Thats why Chinese daughters cant have boyfriends in highschool and why Chinese kids cant go to sleepaway camp. Its also why no Chinese kid would ever dare sayto their mother, I got a part in the school play! Im Villager Number Six. Ill have to stay after school forrehearsal every day from 3:00 to 7:00, and Ill also need a ride on weekends. God help any Chinese kidwho tried that one.

Western parents try to respect their childrens individuality, encouraging them to pursue their truepassions, supporting their choices, and providing positive reinforcement and a nurturing environment. Bycontrast, the Chinese believe that the best way to protect their children is by preparing them for the futureletting them see what theyre capable of, and arming them with skills, work habits and inner confidencethat no one can ever take away.

china333

I just want to go back to the idea that its OK to drain childhood of fun and crush the interests of your kids underyour combat boot so that one day they reflect the blinding rays of your megalomania um, I mean so that theycan be happy one day in the future. Even if youre not a utilitarian, some light utilitarian reasoning is a good wayto identify really bad ideas. If something creates a gaping deficit in utility, its usually not good.

Quite a lot of people who are lucky enough to be working class or higher in the first world and unmolested wouldidentify childhood as their happiest time. This includes many people who are considered successful adults. This ibecause stuff like sleepovers and getting Mike Tysons Punchout might be more fun than you could possibly haveas an adult. Ive been in some pretty great spots since growing up and it seems like I still have to remind myself ohow much fun I should be having and not to worry about if I forgot to pay the gas bill and to enjoy the momentand it never completely works. Discovering that my collection of Star Wars toys had doubled on Christmasmorning? Unadulterated joy.

So, erasing all of those experiences (to say nothing of the intentional infliction of humiliation and shame) shouldeventually be outweighed by future gains. Chua doesnt even really make that argument, because she cant. Like,suppose her kids could have their own interests, do sleepovers, watch a reasonable amount of TV and still wereexpected to do their homework and maintain a high GPA. Would they be much worse off in the future? Even ifChuas sadism meant they got into Harvard instead of Virginia, and that meant they wound up making like 15%more money, its not clear that they would see improvements in utility later in life at all, let alone improvements sgreat that they would make up for a difficult childhood when they could have had a wonderful one.




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Plus, youre talking about expected (hoped for) future gains, as opposed to gains you can realize now. Maybe theinability to grasp this is related to 100% of Chinese being gambling addicts. But obviously, certain utility now isworth more than possible utility in the future because you could go to Harvard and be hit by a bus. Yeah, youcould be hit by a bus at community college as well, but even ifthese tactics tend to make people happy in thefuture, you have to discount that result because its just a possibility. The economy could get worse and you couldwind up begging to drive a bus after Harvard. You could become disfigured and never get over it. Or, you couldhave some windfall of cash and not need to work at a job you hate to obtain status and thus feel like you wastedyour childhood preparing to do so.

I think you have to discount whatever future happiness Chuas methods might create even more because ofmemories. If you have very happy, unwarped times as a child, you get to look back on them your whole life. If yopostpone happiness till you are 40, youll be lucky to look back on happiness for half your life. And even that isoffset by remembering how your mom used to call you a fat piece of garbage, or when people you know expressnostalgia for The Simpsons and you flash back to being forced to carve perfect Bernini models out of turnips.

There are all these new books out there portraying Asian mothers as scheming, callous, overdriven peopleindifferent to their kids true interests.

Uh

Second, Chinese parents believe that their kids owe them everything. The reason for this is a little unclear

Well, dont let that stop you. But for the purposes of an editorial, you probably want to avoid stances like, nobodcan really think of a goodjustification for my position, but it is supported by some fortune cookie garbage thatyoud never accept in any other context.

but its probably a combination of Confucian filial piety and the fact that the parents have sacrificed anddone so much for their children. (And its true that Chinese mothers get in the trenches, putting in longgrueling hours personally tutoring, training, interrogating and spying on their kids.) Anyway, theunderstanding is that Chinese children must spend their lives repaying their parents by obeying them andmaking them proud.

Wonderful. If you think Im stretching the totalitarian thing a bit thin, here we have Amy choosing to say that she

spies on her kids. And not only that, spying on them is a sacrifice on the part of the authority. The subjects shouldbe grateful that Kim Mom Il is so magnanimous with her resources as to use them for spying on the subjects tofacilitate their own personal betterment towards their end purpose: glorifying Kim Mom Il!




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china444

Heres a story in favor of coercion, Chinese-style. Lulu was about 7, still playing two instruments, andworking on a piano piece called The Little White Donkey by the French composer Jacques Ibert. Thepiece is really cuteyou can just imagine a little donkey ambling along a country road with its masterbuits also incredibly difficult for young players because the two hands have to keep schizophrenicallydifferent rhythms.

Youve probably read the original article already and if you havent you can probably guess where it is going.Chua electrocutes her daughters eyeballs until she can play the piece without mistakes. Then, when the daughteris asleep, Chua goes into her room and, while reading through her diary and changing any negative mentions ofTiger Mom to positive ones, gently slides the blade of a knife across the girls throat whispering, you only livebecause I allow it, over and over again with different intonations. Also, I was a taught when I was a kid that thisuse of schizophrenic should be avoided because its based on a misunderstanding of what schizophrenia is andtherefore makes you sound ignorant.

Anyway, here is how the the readers of the Wall Street Journal responded in poll form.




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WSJpoll

I hate to make too much of an internet poll asking a loaded question, particularly as I hate internet polls and woulabolish them from my own totalitarian state. But the appeal of this position to WSJreaders and otherconservatives hints at the authoritarian heart beneath their superficial love of liberty, freedom andindividualism. I realize that children of parents do not hold the same status of citizens of a country, but thereshould be some consistency between the your views on those relationships. If you really have a fondness for

freedom and individualism, it doesnt make sense that youd favor blanket censorship, the suffocation ofindividuality and free will and blind allegiance to authority for children and teens. Like, if you are a Black Pantheyou dont have your kids on a strict diet of Pat Boone and until they are 18 and then suddenly introduce them toJames Brown. And Id raise the same criticism of the WSJfor running the article. Its pretty amazing that thiswhole crew can so quickly embrace Chinese authoritarianism, even when represented to a cartoonish extreme.Maybe its nostalgia, but I cant imagine the WSJof the past running, Weak American Piglets Will Be CrushedBy Soviet Superiority, by Nikolai Volkoff. Maybe theyll be celebrating the virtues of command economies asextolled by an animated monkey by the end of the decade.

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Outside of the WSJ, the article triggered great controversy and everybody weighed in. I considered doing ahackwatch during the 12 pages of discussion of the article on our forum, much of which I have plagiarized here.One reason I didnt is that, while the article roped me in, I had some sense of that being its goal. And, sure enoughin the first wave of commentary and publicity, cracks began to appear in the facade of the article, so by waiting ti




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now to write this, I can act superior to even more people. In this article, Chua discusses how she was happy to bethe bad guy while her husband took their daughters to Yankee games and such. Well wait. If it was true that hergirls were not allowed any TV, how did they know what the hell was happening at the Yankee games? I mean, yeyou can contrive some answer about them listening to games on the radio and reading player biographies, but thatdoesnt really mesh. Then, on The Colbert Report, Chua claimed that her husband was as strict as she was.What? Oh, I get it. These are just lies. Sometimes I still forget that book and newspaper publishers have noresponsibility publish people who put forward the truth as they see it.

For the purposes of the Colbert appearance, Chua tried to convey herself as a relaxed person with a healthy sense

of humor. She was clearly lying, however, when expressing surprise that anyone would see the article or the bookit was excerpted from as offering advice on raising children and she couldnt hide her domineering nature. Andthats when it became evident that she was working from Ann Coulters playbook. 1) Spout a bunch of sadistic,authoritarian garbage riddled with lies and bound to create controversy. 2) Make public appearances in which youtell whichever story is convenient at the time, disregarding both actual facts and the false claims you made in youbook. 3) When before the appropriate audience, shift into an affable character who enjoys a good laugh and whodoesnt understand why all the uptight fuddy duddies were upset when you did step one. And, sickeningly, itworks. No matter how thoroughly you are documented as a liar (this is one article; if the book takes off,there willbe many more cracks), youll be getting respectful treatment all over the media if you pull off the plan well. IfPinochet had been savvy enough to go on Real Time with a whoopi cushion, something that show would havehappily accommodated, 85% of the 4% of the American population who knew who he was would have declaredall forgiven.

As a woman, a mother and a model minority, Chua is even more invincible, enjoying a force field of politicalcorrectness that shields from both the left and right. The initial piece successfully trolled every blog in the world,100% of which used some variation of, Im not judging Chua. Her methods worked for her and Im sure she is agreat mom who loves her kids but Right up to the New York Times, articles sprouted up everywhere, carefullytiptoeing around calling her out in plain terms. Even though the article made ridiculous, extremist claims, some owhich Chua only dreamed up to create attention, nearly all commentators had to frame their criticisms withdeference.

Here are some phrases from the various writers in the NYTdiscussion of extreme parenting, that Chuas pieceinspired.

However, laissez-faire parenting can be too laid back and detrimental to children. No shit? When you speakabout rape, do you feel compelled to point out that extreme repression of sexual urges can be bad too? Mayberapists have a point.

That said, a pragmatic philosophy offers some much-needed correctives to a culture of parenting where ourchildrens every random scribble and shoe box diorama is lauded as pure genius, where trophies are awardedsimply for showing up. And again. Its ironic that these people feel compelled to make such remarks. Isntmandatory prefacing of criticizing one extreme by saying you dont support the other extreme either in the samevein as everyone gets a trophy day? Amy Chua is vile and its OK to just fucking say so. Also, Im not sure thathis super-hippie parenting is as prevalent as everyone seems to believe. I grew up in an upper middle classneighborhood over the hill from Malibu and I dont remember seeing it much. One guy had a mom who would

provide us with beer, but she was European. It seems to me that commentators dig up anecdotes of murderinghockey dads and crazy stage moms one day and of youth soccer games without score keeping the next day,depending on which one they need at the time.

Its true that you dont enjoy something until youve mastered it and practice makes perfect. Neither of thesethings are true. Look, even if you arent talking about water slides and mindless fun, this whole line of reasoning iloony. What percentage of people who enjoy cooking are master chefs? And if you think youve masteredphilosophy, you are almost certainly insane. Is it impossible for women to enjoy playing team sports? You know,because they are terrible at all of them.




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Putting aside the debate about stereotypes be they about Chinese, women, or other groups which Amy Chuaessay has plenty, parents everywhere are always looking for tips to help their children thrive. The guy who wrotethe subtitles for NES games in the 90s weighs in on the matter.

And though I am basically a Chomskybot, I do have a basic respect for the WSJ. At least, I thought it was prettygood ten years ago. But it still seems odd that I am the only one disgusted to see them pass of a PR stunt for abook launch as an editorial and then for the NYTto latch on for the purposes of offering a milquetoast, counter-no-perspective. I know that the state of journalistic integrity is vaporous at best. I know the WSJand NYTare justarms of a media profit machine. And I already hated every blog but detroitblog.org and the ones where they make

fun of sports announcers. I know that its vastly more important to get as many heaving mongoloids as possible tofollow you on twitter than to see that one of the most venerable papers in the world at least goes through themotions of attempting to present actual points of view, rather than helping to turn the crazy dreams of EricCartman into book sales. It still sucks.

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ruthlessreviews on amy chua