Pantomime tonight

Something familiar,Something peculiar,Something for everyone:A pantomime tonight!

Something appealing,Something appalling,Something for everyone:A pantomime tonight!

Nothing with kings, nothing with crowns;Bring on the lovers, liars and clowns!

Old situations,New complications,Nothing portentous or polite;Tragedy tomorrow,pantomime tonight!

Something convulsive,Something repulsive,Something for everyone:A pantomime tonight!

Something aesthetic,Something frenetic,Something for everyone:A pantomime tonight!

Nothing with gods, nothing with fate;Brighton Le Sands will just have to wait!

Nothing that's formal,

Nothing that's normal,No recitations to recite;Open up the curtain: (PAUSE)pantomime Tonight!

Something erratic,Something dramatic,Something for everyone:A pantomime tonight!

Frenzy and frolic,Strictly symbolic,Something for everyone:A pantomime tonight!

Now the ENTIRE COMPANY

Something familiar,Something peculiar,Something for everybody:Pantomime tonight!Something that's gaudy,Something that's bawdy--

[*************]Something for everybody!

[ENTIRE COMPANY]pantomime tonight!

[*************]Nothing that's grim.

[**************]Nothing that's Greek.

[**************]She plays Dame Twanky later this week.

[GIRLS]Stunning surprises!

[BOYS]Cunning disguises!

[ALL]Hundreds of actors out of sight!

[************]Pantaloons and tunics!

[**********]Courtesans and eunuchs!

[**********]Funerals and chases!

[***********]Baritones and basses!

[************]Panderers!

[**********]Philanderers!

[******]Cupidity!

[********]Timidity!

[**********]Mistakes!

[**********]Fakes!

[*********]Rhymes!

Crimes!

Tumblers!Grumblers!Bumblers!Fumblers!

[ALL]No royal curse, no Trojan horse,And a happy ending, of course!Goodness and badness,Panic is madness--This time it all turns out all right!Tragedy tomorrow,pantomime tonight

There's no business

There’s no business like SNOW businessThere's no business I know

SANTA Everything about it is appealingMrs C As long as you have got a good snow-ploughALL Nowhere can you get such happy feelingsMrs C Than when you're milking a frozen cowALL There's no business like Christ-mas

There's no business I knowSANTA Even though I know I must travel farMrs C He'll find your home, where e'er you areALL Sledding all the way to you from the North

StarAnd now, on with the show.

The costumes, the scenery, the make-up, the props. The audience that lifts you when you're downThe headaches, the heartaches, the backaches, the flops. The sheriff who escorts you out of town. The opening when your heart beats like a drum. The closing when the customers won't commmmeeeeeeee

There's no business like SNOW businessThere's no business I knowSANTA Everything about it is appealingMrs C As long as you have got a good snow-ploughALL Nowhere can you get such happy feelingsMrs C Than when you're milking a frozen cow

ALL There's no business like Christ-masThere's no business I know

SANTA Even though I know I must travel farMrs C He'll find your home, where ever you areALL Sledding all the way to you from the North

StarAnd now, on with the show!And now, on with the show!

Going on a summer holiday

We're all going on a summer holidayNo more working for a week or twoWe're all going to get back Rudolf

To make your Xmas dreams come trueTo make your dreams come trueWe're going where the sun shines brightlyWe're going where the sea is blueWe've seen it in the moviesNow lets see if its trueWe're all going on a summer holidayNo more working for a week or twoWe're all going to get back RudolfTo make your Xmas dreams come true

SONG: Supercalafragalisticexpialidocious

Did you know the world is full of factural information.Like howmany visitors arrive at Central Station.You will find a list of facts for every single nation.Did you know the world is full of factual information.

Um diddle liddle liddle um diddle eyePoor little penguins you can’t flyEmus always give it a tryUm diddle liddle liddle um diddle eye

Did you know that there’s six billion people in the owrld.But its not true when you eat crusts that all your hair will curl.Did you know an oyster takes five year to make a pearl.There are many in-ter-es-ting facts about our world.

Did you know the world is full of factual information.Fibonacci seuence is a magic combination.Apple I Phoneis a tech-no-log-i-cal sensation.Did you know the world is full of factual information

Um diddle liddle liddle um diddle eyeDelta sang I was born to tryThat song sucked don’t ask me whyUm diddle liddle liddle um diddle eye

Santa flies around the world, he does it in one night.Seven continents he sees on one very long flight.Even though the mathematics doesn’t seem quite right.I’ve tried to work the logic out but never got it right. Did you know the world is full of factual information.Children ony have a very short span of attention.The coastal town of Nothgirb has a small population.Did you know the world is full of factual information.

Um diddle liddle liddle um diddle eyeI trust facts they never lie.

Rudolf the run-away reindeer

ALL Rudolf the Run-away reindeerHad a very shiny noseAnd if you ever saw himYou would even say it glowsAll of the other reindeerUse to laugh and call him namesThey wouldn't let poor RudolfJoin in any reindeer gamesThen one foggy Xmas eveRudolf ran awayGave a wave and said C-YARan all the way to Aust-ray-lee-aAll of the elves and SantaMrs Claus came with them toFollowed him right Down UnderKnowing what they had to doHappily ever after, that is how our story endsThere'll always be a Xmas, now that Santa made

amends.

Hand Jive

Before I was born, late one night, My papa said everything's alright The doctor paid, mama laid down, With a semitone bouncing all around Cause the beebop stork was about to arrive Mama gave birth to the hand-jiveI could barely walk when I milked a cowWhen I was three I pushed a plowWhile chopping wood I moved my legsAnd they saw me dancing when I gathered eggsThe townfolk clapped, I was only fiveAnd I danced 'em all, he's born to hand-jive Oh yeah, yeah, yeah - everybody Born to hand-jive, baby, Born to hand-jive, baby - yeah How low can you go, how low can you go, How low can you go, how low can you go Higher, higher, higher and higher Now can you hand-jive, baby, oh can you hand-jive, babyOh yeah, oh yeah, oh yeah, Born to hand-jive, oh yeah!

SONG : Cleave It

We’re Mack and Mick, we are purveyors of meatWe butcher all the living things that you like to eatThen stuff them into sausages while blood flows in the streetSo cleave it, just cleave it

Be it a piggy, or a cow that goes mooWe will dice it, we will slice it, we will chop it in twoIf we can’t catch a deer then we’ll use a kangarooSo cleave it, chop it up till its dead

Just cleave it, cleave it, cleave it, cleave itWe can make it dead, believe itStab a fat turkey, stuff a mince pieWhen you want your dinner, we will satisfyJust cleave it, cleave itJust cleave it, cleave itJust cleave it, cleave itJust cleave it, cleave it

Now Mack the Knife, he’s Bellenhurg’s Sausage manAnd he can stuff a sausage like nobody else canSo you take home that meat and pop it in the frying-panAnd cleave it, just cleave it

Deer better run, they better hide in a holeOr sneak away to santa, get back to North PoleCause we will carve them up to make a tasty casseroleSo cleave it, get some blood on your hands

Just cleave it, cleave it, cleave it, cleave it

Order now, we’ll Christmas Eve it

Have a fat chicken, have a plump duckWhen we’re finished with it, it won’t quack or cluck

Just cleave it, cleave it, cleave it, cleave itcleave it, cleave it, cleave it, cleave it, YUM!

SONG: If I had you (by Adam Lambert) (slightly slower - acoustic?)

So I got my boots on, got the right 'mount of leather And I'm doing me up with a black color liner And I'm workin' my strut but I know it don't matter All we need in this world is some love

There's a thin line 'tween the dark side and the light side baby tonight

It's a struggle gotta rumble trying to find it

But if I had LOVE, that would be the only thing I'd ever need

Yeah if I had LOVE, then money fame and fortune never could compete

If I had LOVE, life would be a party it'd be fantasy Yeah, if I had LOVEL l l l l l l love L l l l l l l love L l l l l l l love If I had love

But if I had LOVE, that would be the only thing I'd ever need

Yeah if I had LOVE, then money fame and fortune never could compete

If I had LOVE, life would be a party it'd be fantasy Yeah, if I had LOVEL l l l l l l love L l l l l l l love L l l l l l l love If I had love

SONG: We need a little Christmas (from 'Mame' by Jerry Herman)

For-get the hollyForget the tree and let my spirit soar againDon't fill the stockingsI may be crushing things, but get the humbug out now. For we don't need a little ChristmasRight this very minuteNo candles in the windowNo carols at the spinet

We don't need a little ChristmasRight this very minuteIt never snows a single flurryI'd rather have a good Thai curry!

For-get the chimneysTurn off the brightest strings of lights you've ever seenChuck out the fruitcakeNo time to hang some tinsel on that evergreen bough.

Because I've grown a little leanerGrown a little colderGrown a little sadderGrown a little olderCause I had a little angelWho disappeared once XmasThat's why I don't like Christmas now!

So, forget the jingly musicForget the happy laughterForget the carol singingRinging through the rafterThere won't be a little snappy"Happy ever after"There'll never be more Christmas now

SANTA STOLE MY BABY!Sings: (Baby Baby Baby – Justin Beiber)You know I love youyou know I careBut Santa stole you and that’s not fairI want you back nowYou’re in my heartI thought we’d never, ever, ever be apart.You were takenon Christmas night

You are gone nowout of my lifeSanta will paypay for his cri-imeI wont stop til I’ve ended Christ-mas timeWhere is he; my baby, baby, baby’s goneMy baby, baby, baby’s goneMy baby, baby, baby’s goneI thought you’d always, always, always be mi-ine.Curtain closes on the Dame sobbing/singing quietly on the floor.

Rudolf:

Others:

Rudolf:

Others:

Rudolf:

TOO SEXY

(Enters to “I’m too sexy” with photographers and stylists around him flashing cameras and tidying his antlers etc)I’m too trendy for this place, to trendy for this place – so trendy such grace.He’s too trendy for this barn, to trendy for this barn, he should be in MilanI’m so shiny I’m a star, so shiny I will outshine them by farAnd he’s the leader of the sleigh, the leader of the sleigh, every Christmas dayI am a reindeer, as cool as can be and I lead Santa’s sleigh with my red nose. With my red nose, with my red nose, yeah I lead Santa’s sleigh with my red nose.

Little vegemites

We’re happy little workshop elves, we’re busy as can beWe love to make up all the toys for girls and boys you see.When Santa says “C’mon let’s go, it’s time to pack the sleigh”We all sing out hip hip hoorayAs we pack up his bright red sleighAnd send him on his merry way.

Toys glorious toys

Toys, glorious, toysBuzz Lightyear and WoodyCars and trucks that bring joyAnd other ex-citing goodies.Blocks, dollies and racing carsPaint, colour and build ‘emAll children love Christmas toysThat’s for certain.

Toys, glorious, toysBuzz Lightyear and WoodyCars and trucks that bring joyAnd other ex-citing goodies.

Just picture their great big smilesWhen they get what they wantOh toysWonderful toysMarvellous toysGlorious toys.

Wonderful toysMarvellous toysGlo..... ri.... ous.....toys.

MATERIAL GIRLS

VERSE 1

Some girls like us, some girls hate us, we don't really care

As long as we have fashion clothes and super pretty hair

We can pick and we can chose cause they all think we're

it

We always show our fashion clothes and give out fashion

tips

CHORUS

Cause we are heaps cool, we are the popular girls

And we control the popular world you know that

We are heaps cool, we are the popular girls

And we control the popular world

VERSE 2

Those girls are cruel, they think they're so cool they have

no idea

But we think they're unbearable and wish they'd

disappear

They always pick, they always choose, they're always

really mean

They think their pretty pigtails are the best we've ever

seen

CHORUS

But they are living in a make believe world

And They are like try hard girls

That’s right, they are living in a make believe world and

they are such try hard girls

They are living in an imaginary world

Yeah we are really popular girls

That’s right cause we are heaps cool, we are the popular

girls.

You live in an imaginary world

SONG :

BRADY

BUNCH

Brady Bunch

That’s the story, of a girl named Cheryl

Who had started at a new school on her own.

She had just moved to that town, with her father

And she was all alone.

She had no friends, it was really scary,

She didn’t know who was nice and who was mean.

There were girls there, standing all around her,

Like in a scary dream.

Til one day little Cheryl met these two girls,

Their names were Deloraine and Jackie, they were cool.

She could tell they would be friends, they didn’t judge her,

That’s the way Cheryl found some friends at school (repeat depending on backing track).

All walk off together.