ROBERTO THE ROOSTER

(Childrens Animated Comedy TV Series)

"The Bank Line"

Written by Rodney Ohebsion

Copyright 2015

INT. BANK - DAY

ROBERTO THE ROOSTER (a human-like rooster who wears a suit,speaks in a deep voice with a thick Spanish accent, and hasa passionate, intense personality) and LARRY (40, wears adentists uniform) walk into a bank. Theres a long LINE,but Roberto and Larry go right to a bank TELLER (female,30).

ROBERTOHello. Is this the bank?

BANK TELLERYes. Its the bank.

ROBERTOGreat. I would like to take somemoney out of my bank account.

BANK TELLERWell. You have to wait in linefirst.

Roberto looks at the line.

ROBERTOOh. That is a line to use the bank?I thought all of those people werejust pretending to be a really bigsnake.

LARRYI thought they were pretending tobe a really long belt. You know.Like this belt.

(takes off his belt)But longer.

Larrys pants fall, revealing his boxer shorts.

TELLERSir. Please pick up your pants, andgo wait in line.

He puts his pants back on. Roberto and Larry go to the backof the line. Roberto spots HOLLY THE HEN a couple of spotsahead of them.

ROBERTOOh my goodness. That is myex-girlfriend, Holly the Hen.

2.

LARRYWhat is she doing?

Holly is now sitting on the floor. She gets up, and revealsan egg that was under her.

ROBERTOShe just laid an egg.

LARRYShe laid an egg in a bank line?

ROBERTOYes. I mean, if you are a hen andyou need to lay an egg, you lay anegg.

She picks up the egg and puts it in her purse. She spotsRoberto.

HOLLYRoberto?

ROBERTOOh. Hello, Holly. How are you?

HOLLYFine.

ROBERTOIt is, uh, good to see you. I haveactually been meaning to ask yousomething.

HOLLYWhat?

ROBERTOWell. When we were dating, one timeI was at your apartment, and I lefta Transformers toy there. Can Ihave it back?

HOLLY(annoyed)

Well. I dont have it with me rightnow. OK?

ROBERTOI see. Well, maybe you can give mesomething else then.

3.

HOLLYWhat?!

ROBERTOWell. You got my Transformers toy.So I should get something of yoursin return. Like a trade. What doyou have in your purse?

HOLLYIn my purse? I dont know.

(opens her purse, looksthrough it, and shows Robertosome items)

I have a wallet, and some tissues,and a ladder, and some lipstick...

ROBERTOThe lipstick will be fine.

HOLLYYou want my lipstick?

ROBERTOYes. You got my Transformer, so Iwill get your lipstick.

HOLLYFine! Whatever, Roberto! Take thelipstick!

She throws it to him. He catches it.

HOLLYWhat are you gonna do with it?

ROBERTOWell. Um. I suppose I am going towear it.

He puts some lipstick on his lips.

ROBERTOSo. What are you doing here in thisbank line? Are you pretending to bepart of a giant snake?

HOLLYNo.

ROBERTOWell. If you are going to pretendto be part of giant snake, you can

(MORE)

4.

ROBERTO (contd)make some hissing sounds. Likethis.

Roberto make some hissing sounds.

LOUIS (50) gets in line behind Roberto and Larry.

LOUISRoberto?

Roberto turns around.

ROBERTOAh! Hello, Louis the Landlord.

LOUISWhy are you hissing like a snake?

ROBERTOBecause I am pretending this lineis a giant snake.

LOUISOK. And why are you wearinglipstick?

ROBERTOBecause my ex-girlfriend Holly hasmy Transformers toy.

LOUISUm. OK.

ROBERTOSo what bring you to this bank?

LOUIS(grabs a stack of checks andcash from his pocket)

Well. Everyone in our apartmentbuilding paid me their rent money.Except for you. Im here to put therent money in my bank account. Bythe way--you owe me 805 dollars forthis months rent.

ROBERTOAh ha! Well, I am going to payyou--as soon as I make it to thefront of the line, and I take outsome money from my bank account.

5.

Close up on a clock that says 3:00. Cut to it saying 3:05.Roberto is now in the middle of the line. Larry is brushinghis teeth.

ROBERTO(to Larry)

We have been in this line for avery long time. I am gettinghungry.

(to Holly)Holly. Do you have any food in yourpurse? I am hungry.

Holly walks over to Roberto, hit him with her purse, andwalks back to her space in the line.

ROBERTO(to Larry)

OK. I guess she does not have anyfood. What are we going to eat?

LARRYI have an idea. The other day, Iwas eating a watermelon, and Isaved the seeds.

He takes some watermelon seeds out of his pocket.

LARRYHow about we plant one of theseseeds, and then itll grow into awatermelon we can eat?

ROBERTOGood idea. But where should weplant the seed?

LARRYIn your shoe.

ROBERTOOK.

Roberto takes off his shoe, puts a watermelon seed in it,and then puts the show back on.

LARRYAlright. So soon were gonna have awatermelon to eat.

They wait five seconds.

6.

LARRYIs the watermelon ready yet?

ROBERTOI do not know. Let me check.

Roberto takes off his shoe.

ROBERTONo. It is still just a seed.

LOUISYou cant grow a watermelon in ashoe, Roberto! You have to grow itin dirt!

ROBERTOOh. I see.

(to Larry)Let us try my other shoe.

Roberto the seed out of his first shoe, takes his other shoeoff, puts the seed in there, and puts his foot in the shoe.He and Larry stand around for five seconds.

LARRYIs the watermelon ready yet?

ROBERTO(takes off his shoe)

No. It is still just a seed.LOUIS

Like I said, you have to plant theseed in dirt!

ROBERTOOK.

(takes out a megaphone andaddresses Everyone)

Excuse me. Do any of you have anydirt we can borrow?

The WOMAN next to them says:

WOMANI have some dirt in my purse.

She opens her purse and reveals the dirt.

ROBERTOGreat. Can you pour it in my shoe,so I can plant my seed in it?

7.

WOMANI suppose.

LOUISWait a second! You cant grow awatermelon like that! You also needsunlight.

ROBERTOAh ha!

(to Woman)Do you have any sunlight in yourpurse?

WOMANNo.

(reaches into her purse andtakes out some lipstick)

But I have lipstick.

ROBERTOI already have lipstick.

Close up on a clock that says 3:08. Cut to it saying 3:12.Roberto is now several spots away from a teller.

ROBERTOI am still hungry.

LARRYWell.

(takes a bottle of hot sauceout of his pocket)

I have this bottle of hot sauce.

ROBERTOGreat.

Roberto takes it and pours the hot sauce into his mouth.

ROBERTOWhy do they call this hot sauce?

LARRYBecause its, like, hot.

ROBERTOOh.

Steams starts coming form Robertos mouth. His eyes getwide, he starts sweating, and he jumps up right through thebuildings roof. He lands right back where he was before.

8.

ROBERTO(causally)

I am still hungry. Perhaps weshould order a pizza.

(into cell phone)Hello. I am Roberto the Rooster,and I need one large pizza,delivered to the Bank at 189 MainStreet. Im the

(counts the people ahead ofhim)

ninth person in line. Can youdeliver the pizza here in the nextten seconds?

INT. PIZZERIA - DAY

EMPLOYEE(into phone)

Well. Since were right next to thebank youre in, yes--we can bethere in ten seconds.

EXT. PIZZERIA AND BANK - DAY

The pizzeria is right next to the bank. The Employee walksout of the pizzeria and into the bank.

INT. BANK - DAY

EMPLOYEEDelivery for Roberto the Rooster.

ROBERTOThat is me.

The Employee walks up to him and hands him the pizza.

EMPLOYEEThatll be $10.

ROBERTOPay him, Larry. I will pay you backafter I take get my money from thebank.

LARRYOK.

Larry takes off his belt and hands it to the Employee.

9.

LARRYHere you go.

EMPLOYEEThats a belt. Not $10.

LARRYOh. You said $10. I thought yousaid belt.

Larrys pants fall. He picks them up. He takes out hiswallet, and removes a bunch of one dollar bills from it, andcounts them as he hands the bills to the Employee.

LARRYLets see. One, two, three, four,five, six, seven, eight, nine.

EMPLOYEEYou owe me ten dollars. Not ninedollars.

LARRYI know. Um. I have more money inthe jar thats in my pocket.

He removes a jar of pennies out of his pocket, and startshanding them to the Employee one by one as he counts.

LARRYOne, two, three, four, five...

Close up on a clock that says 3:15. Cut to it saying 3:18.Roberto is now four spots away from a teller.

LARRY95, 96, 97, 98, 99, 100. There yougo. One hundred pennies equals onedollar. So I gave you nine dollars,plus one dollar. Thats ten dollarstotal. But now I have to give you atip.

He takes another jar of pennies out of his pocket, andbegins handing them one by one to the Employee as he counts.

LARRYOne, two, three, four, five

Close up on a clock that says 3:18. Cut to it saying 3:24.Roberto is now one spot away from a teller. Larry is stillhanding the Employee pennies.

10.

LARRY497, 498, 499, 500.

The jar is now empty.LARRY

So thats five dollars. Thats notenough. Let me give you anotherfive dollars.

Larry takes out his wallet, and removes a ten dollar bill.

LARRYDo you have change for a ten?

EMPLOYEEYes.

The Employee dumps all 500 pennies on Larry, and then takesthe ten dollar bill and walks away.

BANK TELLERNext.

Roberto and Larry walk up to the teller. Roberto is stillholding the box of pizza.

BANK TELLERCan I help you?

Roberto puts the pizza box on the counter and opens it. Heand Larry each take a slice and begin eating it.

ROBERTO(to Bank Teller)

Do you have any crushed red pepperwe can put on this pizza?

BANK TELLERUm. No. Can I help you withanything else>

ROBERTOYes. I need to make a withdrawalfrom account number 123456789-10.

BANK TELLERWhats your name?

ROBERTORoberto the Rooster.

11.

BANK TELLERAnd how much money do you want totake out of your account?

ROBERTOOne dollar.

BANK TELLEROK.

The Bank Teller takes a one dollar bill form the registerand hands it to Roberto.

BANK TELLERThere you go. One dollar. Anythingelse?

ROBERTONo.

BANK TELLEROK. Thank you.

(to Louis)Next.

Louis walks up to the Bank Teller.

ROBERTOWait, Louis. Before you deposit allof your rent money, let me pay youmy rent. Now, lets see. I just gotone dollar from my bank account.And I already had

(removes many bricks ofhundred dollar bills from hispocket)

72 million dollars in my pocket.

LOUISYou already has 72 million dollarsin your pocket, and you waited inline to get one dollar?

ROBERTOThat is correct. And now I have 72million one dollars total. And Iowe you 805 dollars.

He takes eight $100 bills from one of the bricks, and handsthem to Louis as he counts.

12.

ROBERTOOne hundred, two hundred, threehundred, four hundred, fivehundred, six hundred, sevenhundred, eight hundred...

(to Larry)Larry--I do not have five dollarsin change. Would you happen to havefive dollars on you?

LARRYYeah.

Larry takes five hundred pennies out of his pockets andpours them into Robertos hands. Roberto takes the penniesand throws them all at Louis.

ROBERTOThere you go. 805 dollars.