Upload
river-cities-reader
View
218
Download
0
Embed Size (px)
Citation preview
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
1/24
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
2/24
River
CitiesReader
Vol.17No.
751
April29-
May12
,2010
Business
Politics
Arts
Culture
Now
YouKnow
RiverCitiesReader.com
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
3/24
BusinessPoliticsArts
CultureNowYouKnowRiverCitiesReader.com
RiverCitiesReaderVol.17No.751A
pril29-May12,2010
Yu Decide te Future: Cnquered r Cnquerer?
by Kathleen McCarthy
The biggest thing individuals can do is decide which
type o governance you support. And I dont meanwhich political party you advocate. Either you
believe in a large, centralized entity that controls top-down, with unlimited powers, or you believe in a small,decentralized entity that controls rom the bottom up,
with limited jurisdiction. Tis decision is the only one thatreally matters regarding Americas uture. One thing iscertain: Both Republicans and Democrats are on the sideo top-down unlimited powers and jurisdiction.
Te U.S. Bill o Rights emphasizes the latter, withthe rst 10 amendments clearly indicating what thegovernment is limited to, not what it has the authorityto bestow. In other words, the rst 10 amendments state
shall nots in enumerating the tasks o government. Itspurpose is a singular mandate to protect the unalienablerights o each individual, rights that already existed beorethe creation o a government to protect them.
Our rights come rom God to each o us equally. Teyare not privileges granted by a government composedo men. I they were, then those same men could takethe privileges away at their whim. Coming rom God,however, makes such withdrawal o our rights impossible.Such rights exist or each o us regardless o government,or the men who serve it. Te understanding o this
undamental aspect is where America has gotten so badlyo the rail.
We have conused governments purpose its mandateto protect rights already bestowed by God with its abilityto create privileges through legislation or its own ends.Te law is not the government! Te law is supposed toconorm to the oundational principles o Common Law,
which is at the heart o civilized society. It has two basic
tenets: (1) Do everything you agreed to do, and 2) Do notencroach on any person or his property.
Common Law has systematically been replaced byMaritime/Admiralty Law, especially relative to civil law.Te dierences abound and are so detrimental that it isstaggering to think such a systemic conversion possibleright under our noses. For example, most Americansthink the designation o U.S. Citizen means a person isan American National. In act it denotes each o us as actional sub-corporation o the parent corporation o the
United States o America. Tis status encumbers eacho us in ways o which we are ignorant. It means that asAmericans we are basically governed by commerce law
under Maritime Law, but without our consent.I urge readers to research this subject Common Law
versus Maritime Law because it will prooundly changeyour perspective, and perhaps guide you in answering
the above question: Which type o governance do yousupport? Are you willing to be the newly conquered? Orwill you do the conquering o the growing threat to yournational identity?
Speaking o commerce, Cap & rade is being sold asan environmental measure to curb global warming.While many around the world still believe that
human-produced carbon dioxide is causing the planets
rising temperature, this theoryno longer has scienticconsensus.
Still Congress continues to advance Cap & radelegislation under the guise o decreasing carbon dioxideand avoiding a global meltdown. Unortunately, we cant
count on the mainstream media to give us the truth on this
subject because the owners o most o the news-broadcastnetworks stand to greatly prot rom Cap & radelegislation, especially General Electric, which owns NBC,MSNBC, and CNBC.
Te coverage o this issue by these stations is sofagrantly biased and uninormed as to insult viewersintelligence. GEs nancial uture depends on Cap &
rade as much as it depends on health-care reorm or itsvery survival. So it is using its position as a broadcaster toinfuence Americans that carbon dioxide is the greenhouse
gas destroying the environment, even though there is not ascintilla o evidence to conclusively prove this theory.
Te Chicago Climate Exchange (CCE) has been
established to acilitate carbon-credit trading. radingcarbon credits is at the heart o Cap & rade legislation,because it will create a new commodities market out othin air, estimated at $30 trillion. Carbon-credit trading
threatens to be the single largest direct tax on productivityand/or consumption since the income tax. Because it isinherently subjective in its conjuring, such trading will
make previous derivative investing look like penny candy.Tis scheme literally creates value out o unseen
air/gas, then trades it as a commodity. It does absolutely
nothing to reduce the temperature o the planet. All thecarbon polluters will still be polluting, but with properlegislation, they will be able to oset the taxes imposed
on their emissions by purchasing carbon credits rom theCCE. (Te current Cap & rade bill allows or all kinds oexemptions. Big surprise.)
Tis scheme only works with coercion, just like health
care. All activity by individual persons or companies will
be assessed as either carbon-polluting or -osetting. A
carbon credit unctions as an oset. Te good thing orlegislators and Wall Street is that nearly every humanactivity is a carbon-polluter, and we will be taxedaccordingly.
Electricity and wood- and uel-burning, to name a ewbig carbon-polluters, are examples o everyday living thatwill urnish the government with an entirely new source o
tax revenue that has the potential o wiping out Americasmiddle class. Look to Germany or evidence o thedestructive nature o carbon taxation/credit-trading.
Cap & rade represents another unholy alliancebetween government; giant global corporations inindustries that include central banks, energy, and nance;
and a new host o green enterprises cropping upeverywhere to get a share o the pending loot.
It is a disgrace that Americans are meeting this newchallenge with the same complacency that dened our
disapproval o the two bailouts (Bushs $700-billion ARPand Obamas $850-billion stimulus package) and health-care reorm. Save the planet is pure rhetoric or the scam
o the millennium!Help stop this legislation now. Initiate a household
savings account or the purpose o helping to und legal
challenges to legislation that is nancially detrimental andunconstitutional under Common Law. Tere are a host oother potential legal paths possible needing only a unied
challenge by the people and the unding to see it through.Legitimate groups are beginning to surace to take onthese challenges, and we must be there to help with ourresources i we are to conquer the beast o oppressive
legislation and taxation.
NewlyRefurbished!
* 2010 River Cities Reader Poll
VOTED BEST DELI SANDWICHES AND MOST DISTINCTLY QUAD CITIES FAST FOOD*
THANKS QUAD CITIES FOR HAVING THE
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
4/24
River
CitiesReader
Vol.17No.
751
April29-
May12
,2010
Business
Politics
Arts
Culture
Now
YouKnow
RiverCitiesReader.com
State, County, & Municipal Employees.So ar, though, legislative leaders are
still hoping to at least partially meet thatMay 7 adjournment target. Te idea atthe moment is to try to nish work on all
substantive legislation by that date, andthen return or the last week or so in Mayto put the nal touches on the budget and
deal with anything else that comes up in theinterim.
But several high-level Democratic
legislators are quite nervous about this
plan. Te perception o a vacationingGeneral Assembly
while the statesinks ever deeperinto a nancial and
economic morassrightens them tono end. Teyll be
sitting ducks, themembers worry.Better to nish the
whole thing by May7 or, even better,
just work throughthe whole month,even i there is littleor nothing to do.
A big actorplaying into thetiming o the
General Assemblyssummer adjournment will be whetherthe Republicans, particularly the House
Republicans, support more borrowing. Tegovernor wants to borrow billions o dollars
to meet the states pension p ayments. But thatborrowing has to be approved by a three-hs
vote in the General Assembly, and they cantdo that in the House without the Republicanminority. I the House Republicans dont
get on board, the budget will take ar longerto cra and will be very ugly, one topDemocrat said last week. I they do get on
board, its possible that the legislature couldwrap up everything by May 7.
Tat doesnt appear to be in the cards,
however. Te Republicans have no incentiveto allow Democrats to conclude business
early. Te longer theyre in town, the longerthe Republicans will have easy access tothe media to make their case that theDemocrats are incapable o governing.
I learned long ago that when it comes tothe Illinois Statehouse, dont ever get yourhopes up about adjournment schedules and
always bet on nothing ever getting done.Tat way, youre never disappointed. Well,youre still disappointed, but its a little
easier to digest.
Rich Miller also publishes Capitol
Fax (a daily political newsletter) andTeCapitolFaxBlog.com.
by Rich Miller
The Illinois General Assembly usuallytries to adjourn by the end o May.
Tat hasnt worked out too wellthe past ew years as partisan bickering,the states huge budget problems, and the
bloody war between ormer Governor RodBlagojevich and House Speaker MichaelMadigan orced months-long overtime
sessions.Te last time the legislature truly got
out early was in 1999, when then-Senate
President Pate Philip demanded they
adjourn by April 15. Aer legislatorsle town, I didnt
know what to dowith mysel. Terewere no statewide
elections at all theollowing year, whichmeant that absolutely
nothing was goingon in the politicalworld. So, I went to
Kosovo to cover thewar and then took
my daughter on atour o Europe andwent with my dadto Hungary, Poland,
and Slovakia. It wasquite an adventure.Later that year, I
went to Cuba duringthen-Governor George Ryans ofcial visit. Ihave ond memories o that year. I ac tually
had a lie back then.Tis year, though, the calendar says the
General Assembly plans to adjourn byMay 7. I havent really experienced a May
without grueling work hours since thosehalcyon days o 1999, so that pleases me.But Im not holding my breath, because o
all the carnage Ive seen the past ew years. Ijust cant bring mysel to believe.
Te early-adjournment idea isnt going
down well with everyone. Te plan at themoment is to pass a budget thats billionso dollars out o balance and inorm
Governor Pat Quinn that he is now incharge o guring out how to pay the bills.
Newspaper editorial boards are alreadywarning legislators not to sneak out o townbeore truly solving the problems, or theywill pay heavy consequences.
One o the demands issued last week bysome o the thousands o protesters whodescended on Springeld to press or higher
state taxes and ewer budget cuts was thatlawmakers stay in town, nish t he job, andabandon their early-adjournment dreams.
I you try to leave town without doingyour job, we are going to chase you. Andwhen you come back home, we will be
there, warned Henry Bayer, the Illinoisdirector o the American Federation o
Legislative EarlyAdjurnment Unliely
Te perception o a
vacationing General
Assembly while the state
sinks ever deeper into a
fnancial and economicmorass rightens
Democrats to no end.
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
5/24
BusinessPoliticsArts
CultureNowYouKnowRiverCitiesReader.com
RiverCitiesReaderVol.17No.751A
pril29-May12,
2010
SATURDAY,JULY17
ONSALETHIS
SATURDAYAT10AM!
BUYTICKE
TSATTHE
ADLERTHE
ATREBOX
OFFICE
ALLTICKET
MASTEROU
TLETS
CHARGE-BY
-PHONE:80
0-745-3000
ORDERONL
INEATTIC
KETMASTE
R.COM
PRESENTE
DBY
JAM&JAYG
OLDBERGE
VENTS
ADLERTHEATRE
MAKE A RESERVATION AT
309-762-0330OR VISITplaycrafters.com
ADMISSION~ $10
SUPPORTED IN
PART BY A
GRANT FROM
presents
May789 141516
Friday & Saturday -7:30PMSunday Matinee -3:00PM
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
6/24
River
CitiesReader
Vol.17No.
751
April29-
May12
,2010
Business
Politics
Arts
Culture
Now
YouKnow
RiverCitiesReader.com
Data show Branstad and his wie had anadjusted gross income o $396,986 in 2009,
which included a 10-month salary o $276,026
as president o the Des Moines University.
Annualized, that would amount to about
$331,231, compared to $130,000 he would
earn i re-elected governor.
Te Culvers adjusted gross income was
$126,745; the Robertses had an adjusted
gross income o $136,488; and the Vander
Plaatses reported an adjusted gross income o
$103,562.
Branstads gis to charity totaled $41,178,or 10.4 percent o his adjusted gross income.
Te Vander Plaatses donated 5.5 percent o
their adjusted gross income, the Robertses 4.2
percent, and the Culvers 2.2 percent.
Potential 2012 PresidentialCandidates Visit Iowa
Former New York Governor George Pataki
last week pushed or the repeal o ederal
health-care reorm to a crowd o about
100 Republican activists and ocials at theEmbassy Suites in downtown Des Moines,
while keeping the door open to a r un or
president in 2012.
I was governor or 12 years, and I learned
early on that you never say never, Pataki said
in an interview with IowaPolitics.com. I do
eel that Washington is headed dramatically
in the wrong direction. Were all obligated to
stand up and get involved to try to change
that.
Pataki was last in Iowa in November,
when he was the keynote speaker at the ScottCounty Republican Partys Ronald Reagan
Dinner in Bettendor. He returned last week
in his new role as chair o Revere America
and its $15-million national campaign to
repeal ederal health-care reorm. Te group
aims to gather 1 million signatures to repeal,
reorm, and replace the new law. Pataki said
his work or the group is as a c itizen, and he
isnt getting paid anything or it.
Meanwhile, Minnesota Governor im
Pawlenty was in Des Moines recently or an
Iowa axpayers Day event. He declined to sayduring his visit whether he will announce a
run or president in the coming months, but
he did say that his p olitical action committee
Freedom First will be making endorsements
in Iowa races this election cycle.
For an expanded version o this article, visit
RiverCitiesReader.com.
Tis weekly summary comes rom
IowaPolitics.com, an online government
and politics news service. Reporter Andrew
Dufelmeyer and other correspondents
contributed to this report.
by Lynn Campbell, IowaPolitics.com
The Iowa Racing & GamingCommission still plans to meet May13 to decide whether to award a new
casino license or the rst time since 2005,despite calls by gambling opponents to delaythe decision.
Calls or the delay came because o a stateinvestigation into a $25,000 contribution toGovernor Chet Culvers re-election campaignby three supporters o a proposed FortDodge casino who had been paid $25,000by Dubuque-based Peninsula Gaming. But
in a statement April 21, the ve-membercommission said it plans to stay with itsoriginal schedule.
Te Iowa Rac ing & Gaming Commissionwill not change the May 4 date or the publichearing or the May 13 date or decidingwhether to grant or deny licenses to ourapplicants or new casinos, the news releasestated. On May 13, the commission willdetermine whether it is appropriate to deer adecision on any applicants to a later date.
Fort Dodge, Ottumwa, Lyon County, and
ama County are seeking casino licenses. TeMay 4 public hearing will be held at StoneyCreek Inn Johnston.
Culver declined to comment April 22 onthe investigation; he was participating in astate-prison groundbreaking in Fort Madison.
A day earlier in Davenport, Culver saidthat neither his campaign nor his ocialoce did anything wrong. You can beassured that no one on the campaign or inthe oce is the center o that investigation,Culver said in a brie interview with theQuad-City imes aer a bill-signing at a
blood center.Republican candidate or attorney general
Brenna Findley on Friday called or AttorneyGeneral om Miller to address the situation,calling it inappropriate or Donn Stanleyrom the attorney generals oce to take overCulvers campaign when an investigation isunderway. It raises a conict o interest whenone o the attorney generals top lieutenantstakes a job with the very campaign that isunder investigation or pay to play, she said.
Branstad Tops Candidates inBoth Income and Donations
Republican gubernatorial candidate (andormer Governor) erry Branstad and his
wie Christine had a 2009 adjusted gross
income three times as much as Culver and
his wie Mari, three times as much as state
Representative Rod Roberts and his wie
rish, and nearly our times as much as Sioux
City businessman Bob Vander Plaats and
his wie Darla, according to summaries o
2009 income-tax returns released last week.
Roberts and Vander Plaats are also seeking the
Republican gubernatorial nomination.
Casin Decisins Still n rMay 1, Despite Investigatin
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
7/24
BusinessPoliticsArtsCultureNowYouKnowRiverCitiesReader.com
RiverCitiesReaderVol.17No.751A
pril29-May12,
2010
May 19 & 20 7:30pm
Adler Theatre DavenportCall 800-745-3000
Tickets available at the Adler Theatre Box Office,ticketmaster.com and all outlets.
Discounts forGroups! Call 563-326-8555
a
series
presents
www.BeautyAndTheBeastOnTour.com
Disney
NETworks presents
Be Our Guest!
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
8/24
River
CitiesReader
Vol.17No.
751
April29-
May1
2,
2010
Business
Politics
Arts
Culture
Now
YouKnow
RiverCitiesReader.com
career, mostly because
o Gabels speaking/spewing vocals and asongwriting sty le thats
the equivalent o a hardstare conrontationaland not terribly interested
in polite conversation.(As the song Piss &Vinegar put it: I would
be lying to you i I didnot say something. / Tatwould make me eel likea politician, / A middle-
o-the-road opinion no
one nds oensive orchallenging.)
What haschangedis the music, eventhough Gabel chaes at
the assertion that it hasbecome poppier.
I dont necessarily
see the pop elements,he said. I think its kindo bullshit in a way.
Ive always had a loveo melodies and stu.He points to Pints o
Guinness Make YouStrong, rom the bands 2002Against Me! Is
Reinventing Axl Rose. Tats a catchy song, he
said. Teres a catchy chorus there. Tats alwaysbeen the way Ive written.
He does make one concession: Teres more
harmonies on this record and stu like that.Like New Wave, White Crosses was produced
by Butch Vig, who most amously produced
Nirvanas Nevermind. Gabel called him thebands lie partner and said that Against
Me! was a little reer this time around. OnNew Wave, the group was building newrelationships with a producer and a major labelsimultaneously. Youre just a little cautious,
Gabel said. Its a natural thing, even i itssubconscious.
Gabels protests aside, White Crosses does
mark a radical departure. Tere are thoseharmonies, but there are also synthesizers andsoaring ballads and some dreamy background
vocals, and the sound has been soened enoughto make it more approachable. It aint JustinBieber, but musically its bafing that Gabel
would object to the claim that its the poppiest
Vl. 1, N. 1April 9 May 1, 010
532 W. 3rd St.
Davenport IA 52801
RiverCitiesReader.com
(563)324-0049 (phone)
(563)323-3101 (ax)
Publishing since 1993
The River Cities Readeris an independent newspaper
published every other Thursday, and available ree
throughout the Quad Cities and surrounding areas.
2009 River Cities Reader
DEADLINES
To submit a letter to the editor,
([email protected]): 5 p.m. Wednesday
To submit items to our calendar o events,
([email protected]): 5 p.m. Wednesday
To submit items to City Shorts column,
([email protected]): 5 p.m. Wednesday
To purchase a display ad,
([email protected]): 5 p.m. Wednesday
To purchase a classifed ad,([email protected]): 10 a.m. Monday
PUBLISHERTodd McGreevy
EDITORKathleen McCarthy
EDITORIALManaging Editor: Je Ignatius [email protected]
Arts Editor, Calendar Editor: Mike Schulz [email protected]
Contributing Writers: Amy Alkon, Rob Brezsny, Lynn Campbell,
Luke Hamilton, Rich Miller, Jill Walsh, Thom White
ADVERTISINGAccount Executives:Chris Walljasper [email protected]
Advertising Coordinator: Katie Bergthold
Advertising rates, publishing schedule, demographics,and more are available at
QCAdvertising.com
PRODUCTIONArt Director, Production Manager: Shawn Eldridge
[email protected] Artist - Nathan Klaus
Production/Design Intern - Nathan Ortner
ADMINISTRATIONBusiness Manager: Kathleen McCarthy
Oce Administrator, Classifeds Manager, Circulation Manager:Rick Martin [email protected]
Distribution: William Cook, Cheri DeLay, Greg FitzPatrick, TylerGibson, Daniel Levsen, J.K. Martin, Jay Strickland
by Jef Ignatius
A
gainst Me! has been
selling out or thebetter part o a decade,
so complaints about the polish
o the bands orthcomingrecord are already tired tosongwriter/vocalist/guitarist
om Gabel.Because Gabel is a punk
icon and an anarchist, it was
little surprise that there werenegative reactions when theband jumped to a major label.But as it prepares to release
White Crosses in June the
group will play aDaytrotter.com show at
RIBCO on May 4 Gabeltalked about the challengeo being an ever-changing
person in a world o rigidexpectations.
In a recent phone interview,
the 29-year-old Gabel saidhe wrote White Crosses in St.Augustine, Florida breaking
away rom his longtime homebase o Gainesville. Tepeople who also live there
have their perceptions o you,he said o Gainesville. While he has traveledand changed, those perceptions remain xed.
Moving away rom that and just kind o reeingyoursel to be who you ucking are was a goodand liberating experience, he said.
O course, those perceptions and expectationsbelong not only to Gainseville residents butto ans o Against Me! And as the band has
evolved, it has aced regular accusations oselling out, whether it was signing to the indie
label Fat Wreck Chords or the major label Sire.Record labels are record labels, Gabel
countered. Te dierence between a majorrecord label and an indie record label sometimes
is really hard to tell, in my opinion. ... Teunderlying point or every record label is alwaysthe same: to make records and to get them out
to people to hear to sell records.Gabel said its a running joke among us that
Against Me! makes each album knowing it will
need to rebuild its an base. Everybody whosalready a an always hates the new record, hesaid, admittedly exaggerating. Tey like the
previous record. Tats just the way it is.So its important to ignore them when
writing, he said. rying to gure out what youcan do to make somebody happy when writing a
song just never works.Tat might sound ungrateul to those who
have supported the band, but its a theme or
Gabel that pandering doesnt work. He said hestudied artists who had long careers, tryingto look at what their dening moments were
musically. In a lot o cases , its when peoplestopped trying to be something and justaccepted who they were. For me, thats a lot o
what this record is.Te problem or Gabel and Against Me! is
that the musical progression has been toward
the mainstream rather than against it. So whileGabel claims to be true to himsel, his critics callhim a sellout.
Against Me!s rst album or Sire 2007s NewWave was described by the All Music Guideas a straight-up rock record, and although the
group had shed most o the punk roughness, itstill had the hammer orce o Gabel at its heart.Te All Music Guide noted that New Wave was
crisp, direct, and sharp. Its clean, but not glossy;its deant; its brash; its heartelt, and thosetraits have been consistent through the bands
Rigid ExpectatinsAgainst Me!, May 4 at RIBCO
Continued On Page 15
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
9/24
BusinessPoliticsArtsCultureNowYouKnowRiverCitiesReader.com
RiverCi
tiesReaderVol.17No.751A
pril29-May12,
2010
9
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
10/24
RiverCitiesReader
Vol.17No.
751
April29-
May1
2,
2010
Business
Politics
Arts
Culture
Now
YouKnow
RiverCitiesReader.com
10
Feels likeVegas!
Tastes likeVegas...
Looks likeVegas...
Looking for real Vegas-style gaming excitement?
The loosest and biggest selection of slots? Weekly slot and poker tournaments? Youregoing to love Jumers, voted the Best Casino in the Quad Cities!
The food is show-stopping, too!Players Buffet, voted Best Buffet, features:Surf N Turf BuffetFri. & Sat. 3:30pm-10pm................................................$9.99*Late Night Steak N Eggs BuffetFri. & Sat. 11pm-2am.................................$5.99**Champagne BrunchSun. 10am-3pm...............................................................$9.99***Music? Weve got the Edje!We bring you the Quad Cities finest live entertain-ment. Showtimes are 8pm-12am Fri. & Sat. Never a coveralways FREE!
April 30-May1 River City Six May 7-8 Brushfire
May 14-15 Gray Wolf Band May 21-22 The Funnies
Its trulyStyleat Jumers!
Looking fVegas
www.jumerscasinohotel.com309-756-4600 800-477-7747 Open 7am-5am daily
If you or someone you know has a gambling problem, crisis counseling and referral services can beaccessed by calling 1-800-GAMBLER (1-800-426-2537). *With IMAGE Players Club Card$14.99without card. **With IMAGE Players Club Card$7.99 without card.***With IMAGE Players ClubCard$13.99 without card.
ALWAYS
SMOKE-F
REE ! Visit Us On Facebook
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
11/24
BusinessPoliticsArtsCultureNowYouKnowRiverCitiesReader.com
RiverCi
tiesReaderVol.17No.751A
pril29-May12,
2010
11
THE BACK-UP PLAN
All right. Lets hear your pitch.Well, were calling itTe Back-Up Plan.
Its about this successul single womannamed Zoe,desperate or a babybut ed up with theNew York datingscene, who decidesto get articially
inseminated andraise the child onher own.
Ah. So yourethinking an intimatecharacter dramaabout the hardshipso pregnancy and single-motherhood?
Oh,hellno. Slapstick romantic comedy!You see, only a ew minutes aer herprocedure, Zoe hails a cab and gets insideat the exact same momentthat a handsomestranger does! Tey argue about who sawthe cab rst, Zoe storms o in a hu, andwhammo! Teyre in love!
Brilliant! Who do you have in mind orthe lead?
Im hoping or Jennier Lopez.Its been a while since shes been on-
screen. How does she look these days?Spectacular. And shes as charming as
ever.And how about the guy?Im leaning toward this Australian actor
named Alex OLoughlin.
Can he do a awless American accent?Can any o themnot?ouch. So what happens? Im assuming
Zoe gets pregnant ... .O course, but she doesnt want to tell
the guy.Well, sure. For most men, thatd be a
deal-breaker.Not orthis guy, though! Hes really
sensitive.How sensitive?He sells goat cheese at a armers
market.Oh, man. Tatsgood. So h es on board
with the baby thing, they really like eachother ... but wheres the comedy in thissetup?
Are you kidding? Shes pregnant!Where isntthe comedy in this setup?! Imean, weve got Zoe trying to squeezeinto skintight dresses and walk on six-inch stilettos, weve got the guy aintingduring the ultrasound, weve got the couplereaking out when watching a live birth ... .
Uh huh, uh huh ... .
Plus, Zoe has an adorable pooch whoseback legs are damaged and who has to rollaround on a little cart ... .
Aw-w-w-w!Tatsjustthe reaction were going or!
Who do you wantto direct?
Alan Poul.Um ...Alan
Poul? Te executiveproducer rom SixFeet Under? Does hehave experience withslapstick?
Hey, when yourleads are accidentallysetting re to adinner table, or
covering themselves in stew, or crawlingaround in a Manhattan dumpster, howmuch experience do you need? Plus, wereplanning to get a whole bunch o sharpcomics or the supporting cast Robert
Klein and Michaela Watkins and EricChristian Olsen and Anthony Andersonand Melissa McCarthy ... .
And youve got them doing really unnythings?
Well ... not necessarily ... but you know,theyrethere ... .
Gotcha. And I imagine youll includescenes where it looks like the leads arebreaking up, and therell be sentimentalmontages underscored by downbeat poptunes, and itll all end with a big rush to getZoe to the hospital aer her water breaks... .
At a wedding!Perect! It sounds oolproo, but I just
want to make sure we have somethingin Te Back-Up Plan or the olderdemographic. Like Betty White in TeProposal.
Were way ahead o you weve securedLinda Lavin as Zoes grandmother, and omBosley as grandmas 93-year-old boyriend.Tey look older, o course, but they soundjust the way they did in the 70s onAlice
and Happy Days!And those characters will appeal to
younger audiences, too?Well have Lavin drop the F bomb.We want a PG-13.Well have her drop it once.Wow, its like these movies write
themselves!Isnt it, though?
For reviews oTe Losers, Oceans,and other current releases, visitRiverCitiesReader.com.
LISTEN To MIkE EVERY FRIDAY AT 9AM oN RoCk 10-9 FM wITh DAVE & DARREN
h L Can Yu G?
Jennifer Lopez and Alex OLoughlin in
The Back-Up Plan
Movie Reviewsby Mike Schulz [email protected] Mike Schulz [email protected]
Movie Reviews
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
12/24
RiverCitiesReader
Vol.17No.
751
April29-
May1
2,
2010
Business
Politics
Arts
Culture
Now
YouKno
w
RiverCitiesReader.com
1
MusicMiranda LambertAdler Theatre
Thursday, May 6, 7:30 p.m.
Country-music sensation Miranda Lambert who perorms at the Adler Teatre on
May 6 rst came to national prominence as
a nalist on the 2003 season oNashville Star,and released her platinum-selling, major-label
debut CD, Kerosene,in 2005.Her ollow-up CD, 2007s
Crazy Ex-Girlriend, eatured
three songs that became top-20
singles, and was named Album
o the Year at the Academy o
Country Music Awards.
Te Academy presentedLambert with the same citationor her most recent CD release, 2009s
Revolution, and also awarded her trophies orop Female Vocalist o the Year and, or the
song White Liar, Video o thTus ar, Lambert has am
nominations (and ve wins)
Academy o Country Music,
the Country Music Associati
three Grammy Award nomin
Shes only the third emale co
singer in history to have had
records debut at number one
Billboards country charts. Shes beau
gied, and poised to become an evesensation as the years go on.
EventVenus EnvyBucktown Center or the Arts
Saturday, May 1, 6-11 p.m.
Since this issuesWhats Happeninpages ocus attentionon three emale
country-music starsand a rock bandronted by a emale
vocalist, it onlymade sense to levelthe playing eld with an event that
appeals solely to the guys.Ten again, who am I to break up
a theme?
On May 1, Davenports BucktownCenter or the Arts will play host tothe sixth-annual Venus Envy Quad
Cities, the area estival celebratingemale artists and perormers inthe realms o music, dance, theatre,
lm, visual arts, and the writtenand spoken word. Te event runsrom 6 to 11 p.m., which means i
you get to Bucktown right on timeand stay til the end, youll almostbe able to spend three minutes each
appreciating the incredible gis oVenus Envys 100-plus artists.
Outside Bucktown, on the
Pershing Street Hera Stage, youllbe treated to olk, rock, blues, andworld rhythms with such eatured
talents as drummer Mona Ritemon,
vocalist Lojo Russo (pictured), andthe emale ensembles Armonia,
On Distant Shores, and Hersong.Youll also have the chance to visitthe Venus Envy Marketplace, where
artisans will demonstrate theirprocesses, sell their works, andengage attendees in handwriting
analyses and tarot-card readings.Meanwhile,
Bucktowns interiors
will be all butbursting withactivity. Visitors can
enjoy three oorso artwork by more
than 60 visual artists,while the venuesclassrooms will host
artist workshops including a
live-model drawing session anda showcase with area lmmakerAnge Glade. Bucktowns interiorSalome Stage will oer a trio o
dance demonstrations, belly- andotherwise. And on the Sophia Stage,music, dance, and theatre blend or
perormance-art pieces that explore,according to the Venus Envy pressrelease, time as an endless circle,
the rhythms o love and lie, andthe metaphorical and physicalunctions o a rope. Sounds kinda
dull. Knot.Get it?! Knot? Like not?!? Ha
ha ha ha ha!!! I cant imagine why I
wasnt asked to hostthis event!In any case, Venus Envy Quad
Cities is ree o charge thoughdonations will be accepted atthe Bucktown doors and more
inormation on the event is availableby visiting VenusEnvyQC.org.
wats happenin
MusicParamorei wireless Center
Friday, May 7, 7 p.m.
Playing Molines i wireless Centeron May, the alternative rockers oParamore sold more than 2 million
copies o their2007 album Riot!,
were nominated
or a 2008Grammy Award
or Best NewArtist, embarkedon a sold-out
European tour in2009, and have the honor o supportingGreen Day during the bands stadium-
tour stops in Dublin and Paris.But i youre one o the ans part ly
responsible or its double-platinum-
selling sales, you probably know theFranklin, ennessee, rockers best rom
the soundtrack to wilight, or which
Paramore contributed the smash-hitsingle Decode.
And i Ive learned anything rom
mywilight-worshiping godchild whois probably already in line or ticketsto the June 30 premiere oEclipse its
that wilightdevotees lo-o-o-ove their
minutiae. For them, I present thiprimer on Paramore lead singerWilliams and her quartet o gie
bandmates. Wanna get in the grogood graces? Bone up on your inmusic, Biblical reerences, and D
Te Oce!
Nicname Favrite Bands Mst Rec
Read
hayley Nicle
williams
H-Bomb Saves the Day, me-
withoutyou, Slick
Shoes
Coraline, b
Gaiman
Taylr Benjamin
Yr
Tay At the Drive-in, Air,
Failure
The Bible
Jsua Neil Farr Josh Death Cab or Cutie,
Jimmy Eat World,
Radiohead
Soul Cravin
Erwin Mc
Zacary wayneFarr
Z Sunny Day RealEstate, Sigur Rs,
Mew
Walking onby Madele
LEngle
Jeremy Claytn
Davis
Worm Detones, Thrice,
Paper Route
Unchained
Tuairau
Valid now through 5/15/10.
Reader 4/29
2010 Isle o Capri Casinos, Inc. Must be 21 or older. Management reserves the right to cancel or change the promotion
at any time without prior notifcation. Limit one per person per day. Not valid with any other oer. Gambling a problem?There is help. And hope. Call 1-800- BETS-OFF.
101 West River Drive, Davenport, IA 52801
www.rhythmcitycasino.com
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
13/24
BusinessPoliticsArtsCultureNowYouKnowRiverCitiesReader.com
RiverCitiesReaderVol.17No.751A
pril29-May12,
2010
1
e Year.ssed 12
rom the
ix rom
n, and
tions.
ntry
hree
on
tiul,
bigger
Oh yeah, and Lambert also learned
how to shoot guns at an early age, was
once an avid deer hunter, wrote a hit song
titled Gunpowder & Lead, and, in 2008,
was named Esquire magazines erriying
Woman o the Year.
Just mentioning this in case you wonderedwhy I hadnt yet cracked some stupid joke inthis piece. Im not taking any chances.
Lamberts Davenport concert starts and
7:30 p.m., and tickets are available by calling(800)745-3000 or visiting AdlerTeatre.com.
by Mike Schulz
MusicTaylor Swift and Kellie Pickleri wireless Center
Saturday, May 8, 7:30 p.m.
mini-ayley
upsdie
Ds o
Paramore plays the Moline venuewith openers Relient K and Fun; ortickets, call (800)745-3000 or visit
iwirelessCenter.com.
For tickets to aylor Swifs Moline concert withspecial guest Kellie Pickler, call (800)745-3000 or
visit iwirelessCenter.com
De a r T a y l o r ,
Tod a y wa s a f a i r y t a l e - t h e be s t d a y !
I j u st r e a d t h a t y ou a n d Ke l l i e P i c k l e r a r e a pp ea r i n g a t t h e i
wi r e l e s s Ce n t e r o n Ma y 8 , a n d I c a n b a r e l y b r e a t h e ! I n f a c t , f e e l
f e a r l e s s a bou t s a y i n g y o u b el o n g wi t h me ! I wa n t t o ju mp t h e n f a l l ,
a n d op e n t h e o t h e r s i d e of t h e d oor t o h a l f of my
h e a r t - a f t e r a l l , t w o i s b et t e r t h a n on e !
P l a y i n g o u r s o n g t o d a y wi t h 5 t e a r d r op s on my g u i t a r , I f e l t
u n t ou c h a b l e a n d b r e a t h l e s s - c r a z i e r t h a n I wa s l a s t Ch r i s t ma s ! I
k n o w I s h o u l d v e s a i d , No , sh es a s u p e r s t a r a n d a t r u e A me r i c a n
g i r l , a n d y ou r e i n v i s i b l e . B u t I k n e w t h e w a y I l o v e d y o u , a n d
wh i l e I m n o Ti m Mc Gr a w , I k n o w ou r l o v e s t o r y c a n b e a s b e a u t i f u l
a s a w h i t e h o r s e o n a s i l e n t n i g h t . I m o n l y me wh e n I m wi t h y o u !
I h o p e y ou r e n o t s o r r y I wr o t e . I f s o, t e l l
me why !
I c a n c h a n g e !
F or e v e r a n d a l wa y s ,
Mi k e
P .S. I f y o u r e n o t i n t e r e s t e d , I w on d e r
i f y o u d s et me u p wi t h K el l i e . Wi t h h e r
r e d h i g h h e e l s , t h a t s ma l l t own g i r l i s
ma k i n me f a l l i n l o v e a g a i n !
nt B Favrite Qute /
Prase
Fun Fact
Neil Lets throw away
the hate and rock
tonight.
I only eat one thing
at a time, some-
times in a clockwise
ashion on my
plate.
Keepsn it real. I l ike to have un.
gs, by
anus
I am the vine; you
are the branches.
(John 15:5)
I am three-quarters
Italian.
Water,ne
No problems, onlysolutions.
I am amazing atbowling.
by Tiare Thats what she
said.
I never sleep.
Continued On Page 17
wat ElseIs happeninMUSIC
Friday, April 30 Shawn Phillips. Folk-
rock musician in concert, with an opening set
by Ellis Kell. The Redstone Room (129 Main
Street, Davenport). 8 p.m. $20. For ticketsand inormation, call (563)326-1333 or visit
RedstoneRoom.com.
Friday, April 30 The Contours eaturing
Sylvester Potts. Chart-topping soul singers inconcert. Quad-Cities Waterront Convention
Center (1777 Isle Parkway, Bettendor). 7:30
p.m. $10-15. For tickets and inormation,
call (800)843-4753 or visit Bettendor.IsleOCapriCasinos.com.
Thursday, May 6 Little Bobby & the
Storm. North Dakota-based blues musicians,in a concert sponsored by the MississippiValley Blues Society. Rascals Rock Memorabilia
Bar (1414 15th Street, Moline). 6 p.m. $5-7. Forinormation, call (563)322-5837 or visit MVBS.
org.Friday May 7 The Holmes Brothers.
Gospel-style R&B perormers, in a concertsponsored by the Mississippi Valley Blues
Society. The Capitol Theatre (330 West ThirdStreet, Davenport). 8 p.m. $10-20. For ticketsand inormation, call (563)326-8820 or visit
TheCapDavenport.com.Saturday, May 8 Jukebox Memories .
Rock nroll hits rom the 50s to the 70s, with
Jimmy Gilmer, Mitch Ryder, Joey Molland, andthe Shackshakers. The Capitol Theatre (330
West Third Street, Davenport). 7:30 p.m. $25-30. For tickets and inormation, call (563)326-
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
14/24
RiverCitiesReader
Vol.17No.
751
April29-
May1
2,
2010
Business
Politics
Arts
Culture
Now
YouKno
w
RiverCitiesReader.com
1
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
15/24
BusinessPoliticsArtsC
ultureNowYouKnowRiverCitiesReader.com
RiverCitiesReaderVol.17No.751A
pril29-May12,
2010
1
than Wicked Liz, he said. He thought at
rst that he might be able to learn themby ear, but he ended up charting the drumparts o each song with each track taking
45 minutes to an hour. It was a goodtime investment, Ill tell you that much,Hipskind said.
When the band closed last years asteo Madison Candlebox
was theheadliner the
other night Hipskind wasplaying hissecond show.
Aer sevenperormanceswith
Carolines
Spine last
all, Hipskind
was asked to
join. In total,
hes playedroughly a
dozen gigs.
He said his
avorite songs to play live are set opener
King or a Day and Monsoon both
rom the bands 1997 major-label debut.
Te drummer said he initially thought
Carolines Spine was simply another 90s
band trying to cash in on ans memories.
I didnt even know they were still around,
playing live, he said.
But a pair o singles rom the bands
2008 album, Work It Out, have gotten tons
o radio p lay, Hipskind said, adding that
he hopes Carolines Spine can continue to
build its audience.
Another drummer is working with the
bands other members on a new studio
album (I dont even know the new music
yet), and Hipskind said the current
arrangement has its roots in nancial
common sense; its cheaper to pay him
and cover his travel and lodging expenses
than ying a drummer around the country.
Money-wise [or the band], it works outbetter this way, he said.
But Hipskind said the gig has a bit o a
rock-star vibe, with limos and autograph
sessions. In all honesty, Id do it or ree,
he said.
Carolines Spine will perorm on Friday,
April 30, at RIBCO (1815 Second Avenue,
Rock Island). Te bill also includes Head
Held High, and the show starts at 9:30 p.m.
For more inormation on Carolines Spine,visit CarolinesSpineOcial.com.
when Carolines Spine playsRIBCO on April 30, the guy
behind the drum kit will likelybe more amiliar to the audience than theband itsel. Greg Hipskind, the longtime
drummer or the Quad Cities quartetWicked Liz & the Bellyswirls, has been thetouring drummer or Carolines Spine since
last all.Te
Phoenix,
Arizona-based
alt-rock group,led by singer/
songwriterJimmyNewquist,
had a pair oalbums onHollywood
Records inthe late 1990s.Sullivan,
based on the
true storyo the veSullivan
brothers romWaterloo who died in World War II, wasa modest hit. Te band also had songs on
the soundtracks toAn American Werewolin Paris and Varsity Blues in the companyo Bush, Skinny Puppy, Green Day, Foo
Fighters, Collective Soul, and Van Halen,among others.
Carolines Spine never made as much o a
splash as those bands, but it got airplay on
independent radio stations and developeda loyal ollowing in the Midwest and cities
such as Dallas and Phoenix.Places that have always had corporate
radio like the Quad Cities does, they never
got a w hole lot o radio play, Hipskind said.For that reason, he said, their gig at RIBCOwill be their rst Quad Cities appearance.
Hipskind said he remembers seeing theband eight or so years ago at Cedar RapidsTird Street Live. He was never a big an,
but Sullivan stuck with him, and he
lauded the groups high-energy show.He said he got a call rom a riend
last June asking him i he rememberedCarolines Spine. Tey need a drummer,his riend told him. Are you available?
Hipskind got in touch with the bandsmanager and completed an audio test(drumming along to recordings o songs
the band plays live) and a video tryout.Its a big show, Hipskind said. Tey
wanted to make sure Im not sitting back
there like Charlie Watts not moving.Aer passing those tests, Hipskind had to
learn the 20 or so songs the band plays live.Its denitely more difcult drumming
king fr a Day ... r MreCarolines Spine, April 30 at RIBCO
by Jef Ignatius
philosophy but with the movement and its
not hard to read into that a dig at ans who
would preer to keep Against Me! in a state oarrested development. Te people proessing
most loudly that theyre the most open-minded
individuals are oen the most closed-mindedindividuals, Gabel said. His peers preached
autonomous thought and personal reedom,
but when it came to me making decisions or
mysel, it was like, No no no. Not autonomy or
you. Autonomy or me.
Against Me! Will perorm on uesday, May 4, at
RIBCO (1815 Second Avenue in Rock Island).
Te show starts at 7 p.m. and also eatures Deadto Me and the Menzingers. ickets are $12 in
advance and available rom RIBCO.com.
For more inormation on Against Me!, visit
AgainstMe.net.
thing Against Me! has ever done.
Yet this kind o misses the point. Exhibit A or
every element o the the pop argument is Ache
with Me, but the most important question is: Is
it any good? Te chorus gives the answer, clear-
eyed and sad but not in any way pathetic or sel-pitying: Do you share the same sense o deeat? /
Have you realized all the things youll never be?
Going into this record, I was really kind o
interested in dropping the plot, and not really
going into it with an agenda o wanting to write
about certain things, and just instead seeing
where my mind wandered to, Gabel explained
o the songwriting process. Not trying to make
sense o things while I was writing them, but just
trying to write and make sense o it later.
I Was a eenage Anarchist suggests that
Gabel is reconsidering his youthul politics, withthe comment that they were too convenient.
But he said his disillusionment isnt with the
Continued From Page 8
Rigid Expectatins
by Jef Ignatius
Greg Hipskind (left) with Carolines Spine
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
16/24
Rive
rCitiesReader
Vol.17No.
751
April29-
May1
2,
2010
Business
Politics
Arts
Culture
Now
YouKno
w
RiverCitiesReader.com
1
Davenport JuniortheatreMainstage Co.
With riverboat DevelopMentauthority
presents
PARKS&RE
CRE
AT
IOND
EPARTMENTCITYOFDAV
ENPORT
Tickets are only $5 for anyone 3 and up
Annie Wittenmyer Complex
2816 Eastern Ave. Davenport, IA 52803
563-326-7862
www.DavenportJuniorTheatre.com
Saturday May 1 2:00pm & 7:00pm
Sunday May 2 2:00pm
Saturday May 8 2:00pm & 7:00pm
Sunday May 9 2:00pm
Ev
ery
KidRece
iv
es
A
FREE BOO
K!
outstrip her songwriting chops, which willundoubtedly grow with seasoning and practice.Slower, conversational songs such as Hal as
Strong as You and Annie May are hearteltbut too vague,mistaking a lack
o specicity oruniversality. Andtheres not enough
going on musicallyto mask theirdeciencies.
Te ormer, Second
Chances openingtrack, comes rom
her athers deathrom cancer, and itsimmediacy is clearly
drawn rom pain.While many peoplewill nd it touching
and inspiring, orme its begging or telling details and sharperlanguage: Tis disease is stealing you / Youre
mostly unresponsive. And it never gets deeper
than surace emotions; I dont get any sense o arelationship beyond the one on the death bed.
Annie May, meanwhile, has a good hook,marking a womans long lie with national andglobal events: ell me all about it, Annie May /
ell me all the stories o your days. But outsideo the barest biographical details the numbero her children, or example the song never
sketches Annie May outside o her context,as an individual. And its sense o history isrudimentary, with two more wars or reedom
shorthand or the Cold War conicts in Koreaand Vietnam.
Sounds Like Goodbye shows morepotential in its chorus. Te words themselveswork How come when you say I love you,darling / It sounds like goodbye? but its the
break between the lines that really sells them,with ample time driving the sentiment home.And the aching singing and nimble phrasing on
the title track elevate the material.Its also critical to remember that Holmes has
been doing this less than two years, and beinggenuinely good at just about anything takes
longer than that.
Im denitely looking orward to improving,Holmes said, but Im also really proud o my
rst project.
Danika Holmes will celebrate the release oSecond Chances with a perormance on Saturday,
May 15, at the Redstone Room (123 Main Street
in Davenport). Te show starts at 9 p.m., and thebill also includes Paige Popejoy. Admission is $5.
For more inormation on Danika Holmes, visitDanikaHolmes.com.
For sample songs rom Danika Holmes, visitRiverCitiesReader.com.
The typical aspiring singer/songwriter getsstarted by playing hometown open-micnights. Danika Holmes is not typical.
Te 27-year-old Davenport resident said ina recent interview thather mother regularly told
her, I always knew youwerent normal, Danika.Holmes added: Im not
exactly sure how to takethat coming rom myMom, but Ill take it as a
good thing.
In terms o her music,being abnormal meant
making her public debutlast year at an auditionor Nashvilles Bluebird
Cae, at which GarthBrooks and aylor Swigot their starts.
I have big dreams,Holmes explained. I have big goals. ... I wantedto get where all the action is immediately. ... As a
songwriter, i you can make it into the Bluebird
Cae, youve really accomplished somethinggreat.
She wasnt selected based on her audition, butyou can hear her chutzpah on the track UnlitMatch rom her debut CD, Second Chances:She got a strong condence when you look her
straight in the eye / But when she steps on stageyou know that woman aint shy / Shes like anunlit match / Just waiting to burn.
Holmes will be celebrating the release o thealbum May 15 at the Redstone Room, and sheopened or the Nadas there on April 24. So shes
circling back to the accepted new-artist tack. But
Holmes doesnt have little plans, and she hopesto tour Europe next year.
Holmes said she taught or our years and, atthe point she chose to pursue music she hadjust turned 26 she was a dissertation away
rom a Ph.D. in personal nance. I ended upwriting an album instead o a dissertation, shesaid.
Mostly co-written with producer PaulHamilton, Second Chances is dominated byballads, with some gentle rockers and a dash o
backwoods country thrown in. Holmes pulls
them all o vocally, with a bright, adaptablevoice.
Te up-tempo, electric-guitar-heavy LockMe in onight is charmingly ambivalent abouta relationship but decisive about a little thing: I
made up my mind / For this glass o wine.And the teasing country o I You Love
Me, Just Say It is the albums highlight, with
Holmes voice both aectionate and gentlypoking its target, perectly matched with themusic: You keep saying how much you really
like me / But I dont want to be another riend /Cause I aint never kissed a riend like that and
thats a act.Her ambition and singing at this point
An Unlit MatcDanika Holmes, May 15 at the Redstone Room
by Jef Ignatius
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
17/24
BusinessPoliticsArtsC
ultureNowYouKnowRiverCitiesReader.com
RiverCitiesReaderVol.17No.751A
pril29-May12,2010
1
Got A Problem? Ask Amy Alkon.171 Pier Ave, #280, Santa Monica, CA 90405
or e-mail [email protected] (AdviceGoddess.com)2009, Amy Alkon, all rights reserved.
Askthe Advice GoddessBY AMY ALkoN
Askthe Advice GoddessAskthe Advice GoddessBY AMY ALkoN
Fu Manchu is no impediment to getting dates.Right. Tere are men wholl date a woman
with a stache: the visually impaired, the wildly
desperate, and college-boy eminists. Te latterarent so much into girls with mustaches as
theyre into being the guy whos cool with girls
with mustaches.
On a positive note, being a woman witha ur-trimmed lip does solve that age-old
problem o getting men to stop addressingconversation to ones breasts. ake poorStephanie Mills, the Greenpeace spokeslady
who went on V in Australia. Unortunately,
the loudest thing on screen was her mustache.
Even the host couldnt help himsel: Tere isa mustache on a lady! Miller had much to say
about victims o nuclear testing, but she might
as well have been arting out Te welve Dayso Chri stmas.
Now, Im all or a woman with a mustache
making the same money as a man with a
mustache. Unortunately, Congress cant amend
the laws o attraction. A mustache is a reallyclear male sex characteristic. Women with
acial hair tend to have higher testosterone orbe aging out o their child-bearing years, while
men are hard-wired to go or young, eminine-
eatured women. Suggesting women who wantboyriends go proudly un-pruned is like telling
men with moobs to rub glitter on their man-
cleavage and strut it in low-cut tops.Rather amazingly, youre suggesting women
empower themselves by looking just like men. Te
reality is, a woman needs a mustache like a sh
on a bicycle needs a man. Sure, a womans place is
wherever she wants it to be, but i shed like malecompany, shed best avoid looking like Gandhi,
Saddam, Charles Manson, or one o the Village
People, and snarling through her stache: We
havent come a long way, and dont call me baby!
I was extremely oended by your response
to the woman whose emale riend has a
mustache. Your only suggesting ways to get
her to remove it was very anti-eminist. I
have emale riends with acial hair. Instead
o waxing it, they say, Screw American
standards o beauty. Im beautiul just the
way I am. Your response couldve included
that option. My girlriends with acial
hair have no problem getting dates withmen, and thats because theyre confdent
and beautiul. Just please dont perpetuate
misogynistic crap.
Aint No Problem with a Little Hair
I I hated women, Id tell those looking to
date men to grow a big hairy hedge above their
lip. Ten theyd appeal to the .00001 percent
o the American male population who thinknothings sexier than leaning over to the girl
theyre dating and whispering, I think I should
tell you... theres a little piece o ood caught in
your mustache.Oh, what a terrible thing, promoting
American standards o beauty. Foot-binding?
Clitoridectomy? Naw, plucking tiny hairs
above a womans lip. Quick! Somebody start
an international human-rights organization!(Maybe something spelling out the acronym
MORONIC.) Sorry, cant go to the Darur
rally. Were marching or a womans right to lip
ur. All together now: Hell no, we wont mow!
While I see the occasional strip o urbumming a ride on a womans lip, you claim
to know a veritable parade o women rom
Mustachia. Methinks youre telling a bby or what you think is a good cause: keepingwomen eministically correct, and never mind
that theyll likely end up miserable and dateless.
Fibby number two? Tat being a chick with a
Better Pluc Next Time
Im a white guy with a black beard
growing out o my back. I know many
women are grossed out by really hairy guys.
Are there measures you recommend or back-
hair removal?
Bristly
When a woman sees you naked, you wanther ocused on jumping your bones, not onhiring somebody to jump you with a ridinglawn mower. Tere are back shavers thatlook like big squeegees (the Razorba and theMangroomer). But i you have coarse hair,you could end up with razor-sharp stubble making being naked with you like spooning
a lemon zester. Back waxing requires constantmaintenance (in your case, probably movinginto a spa), plus ront waxing to match.Te look you should aim or is somewherebetween gay male stripper and Borat: thinkur reduction over total ur removal. Laser
treatment, which works best on those withlight skin and dark hair, is probably yourideal bet or long-term back-hair thinning lasting months or a year, or very possibly,permanently. Youll still have some growthback there, but rom a womans perspective,theres eeling a little body hair and thereseeling like Dian Fossey making the rstpeaceul contact with a mountain gorilla.
h t Pic Up Grillas
Continued From Page 13
wat Else Is happenin8820 or visit TheCapDavenport.com.
Monday, May 10, and Tuesday, May 11
The Lettermen. Legendary pop singersin concert. Circa 21 Dinner Playhouse (1828
Third Avenue, Rock Island). Monday andTuesday 11:45 a.m. doors, noon lunch, 1p.m. perormance, $48.36; Monday 5:45
p.m. doors, 6 p.m. buet dinner, 7:15 p.m.perormance, $54.60. For tickets andinormation, call (309)786-7733 extension 2, or
visit Circa21.com.
THEATREFriday, April 30, through Sunday, May
9 night, Mother. A New Ground Theatre
presentation o Marsha Normans Pulitzer
Prize-winning drama. Village Theatre (2113 East
11th Street, Village o East Davenport). Fridays,
Saturdays, and Tuesday 7:30 p.m., Sundays 2:30 p.m. $12-15. For tickets and inormation,
call (563)326-7529 or visit NewGroundTheatre.
org.Friday, April 30, through Sunday, May
8 The Seagull. Anton Chekhovs classic
tragicomedy o unrequited love and the
theatre. Potter Hall, Bergendo Hall o Fine
Arts, Augustana College (3701 Seventh Street,
Rock Island). Fridays and Saturdays 7:30 p.m.,Sundays 1:30 p.m. $10-12. For tickets, call
(309)794-7306.Saturday, May 1, through Sunday, May 9
The Adventure of Aesop & His Fables. One-
act comedy adventure produced by DavenportJunior Theatre. Davenport Junior Theatre (2822Eastern Avenue, Davenport). Saturdays 2
and 7 p.m., Sundays 2 p.m. $5 at the door.For inormation, call (563)326-7862 or visitDavenportJuniorTheatre.com.
Wednesday, May 5 The Relativity of
Albert Einstein. One-man exploration o thephysicist and philosopher, perormed by Duy
Hudson. Moline Public Library (3210 41stStreet, Moline). 7 p.m. Free. For inormation, call(309)524-2470 or visit MolineLibrary.com.
Friday, May 7, through Sunday, May 16
Any Number Can Die. Mystery/comedyby Fred Carmichael, set in a remote island
mansion. Playcraters Barn Theatre (495035th Avenue, Moline). Fridays and Saturdays 7:30 p.m., Sundays 3 p.m. $10. For tickets
and inormation, call (309)762-0330 or visitPlaycraters.com.
MOVIESThursday, May 6 No, Kidding! Me, Too!
Documentary by Emmy Award-winningactor and mental-health advocate JoePantoliano, with a lmmaker Q&A ollowing. A
presentation by the Vera French Foundation.The Capitol Theatre (330 West Third Street,Davenport). 6:30 p.m. $5-10. For tickets
and inormation, call (563)326-8820 or visitTheCapDavenport.com.
ARTFriday, May 7 Gallery Hop! Biannual
event eaturing artworks on display and
or purchase in 25 downtown locations bymore than 200 visual and perormance artists.The District o Rock Island. 5-9 p.m. Free.
For inormation, call (309)788-6311 or visitRIDistrict.com.
Saturday, May 8, and Sunday, May 9
Beaux Arts Fair. Biannual event eaturingworks by artisans rom seven states, musicalentertainment, childrens activities, ood
vendors, and more. Downtown Davenporton Second Street between Harrison and
Main. Saturday 10 a.m.-5 p.m., Sunday 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Free. For inormation,
e-mail [email protected] or visitBeauxArtsFair.com.
COMEDYThursday, May 6 Jeanne Robertson.
Comedienne presents Never Bungee JumpNaked & Other Lie Lessonsat the sixth-annual
Celebrate a Special WomanSignature Event,sponsored by the Womens Connection. Quad-Cities Waterront Convention Center (1777 Isle
Parkway, Bettendor). 5:30 p.m. $30-35. Reserveby Monday, May 3. For inormation, call ColleenRaerty at (309)631-0167 or visit AskTWC.com.
Friday, May 7 Rich Little in Jimmy
Stewart: A Humorous Look at His Life. Anoriginal comedic tribute written by and
starring the amed impersonator. Quad-CitiesWaterront Convention Center (1777 IsleParkway, Bettendor). 7:30 p.m. $35-45. For
tickets and inormation, call (800)843-4753 orvisit Bettendor.IsleOCapriCasinos.com.
EVENTS
Thursday, April 29 Quad CitiesComputer Society Monthly Meeting. Witha presentation by Abby Stokes, author othe computer handbookIs This Thing On?
Tri-City Jewish Center (2715 30th Street, RockIsland). 7 p.m. Free and open to the public. Forinormation, visit QCS.org.
Saturday, May 1 Derby Day. Annualundraiser beneting youth music education,sponsored by the Quad City Symphony
Orchestra, and eaturing a dinner buet, a liveauction, a rafe, and plenty o mint juleps. RockIsland Arsenal Gol Club (1838 Gillespie, Arsenal
Island, Rock Island). 4 p.m. $50. For inormationand reservations, call (563)322-7276 or visitQCSymphony.com.
Saturday, May 8 Quad City Book Fair.
Authors display and sell their books in anevent hosted by the Midwest Writing Center,
eaturing keynote speaker Max Allan Collins,childrens book author Jill Esbaum, andDavid R. CollinsLiterary Achievement Award
winner Connie Corcoran Wilson. River MusicExperience (129 Main Street, Davenport). 10a.m. Free. For inormation, call (563)324-1410 or
visit MidwestWritingCenter.org.
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
18/24
Rive
rCitiesReader
Vol.17No.
751
April29-
May1
2,
2010
Business
Politics
Arts
Culture
Now
YouKno
w
RiverCitiesReader.com
1
SAGITTARIUS (November 22-
December 21): Never bear more
than one trouble at a time, wroteauthor and clergyman Edward
Everett Hale. Some people bear three kinds all they have had, all they have now, andall they expect to have. Tats good adviceor you, Sagittarius. Please just stick to thetrouble you have, and drop the other twokinds. Teres no need to ll up your beautiulhead with extra torment. Besides, youre muchmore likely to wrestle the current trouble intosubmission i youre not weighted down byunnecessary extras.
CAPRICORN (December 22-January 19): What excites you?What makes you itch with a
longing to be surprised? What lls you tothe brim with curiosity and an agitated senseo wonder? You may not know even hal owhat you could potentially realize about thesematters. Have you ever sat down and taken aormal inventory? Have you ever dedicatedyoursel to guring out all the things thatwould inspire you most? Do it sometime soon,please; attend to this glorious task. Accordingto my reading o the omens, its prime time to
do so.
AQUARIUS (January 20-
February 18): Its a good thingMargaret Mitchell suered a broken ankleback in 1925. She got so bored as she layaround the house recuperating that she startedwriting a book. Eventually it blossomed intothe 423,000-word blockbuster Gone withthe Wind, which sold 30 million copies andwon her the Pulitzer Prize. Judging romyour current astrological omens, Aquarius, Isuspect that you too may soon be oered an
opportunity disguised as a ho-hum problem.
PISCES (February 19-March 20):I was pleased when I discovereda website with a video o quirky
songstress Cat Power singing David Bowiesiconic song Space Oddity. I love her, I loveBowie, and I love the tune. And yet a waveo disappointment broke over me when Irealized, 30 seconds into the perormance,that it was actually a car commercial. I eltduped. Appalled. Outraged. Any pleasure Idgotten rom the experience was ruined. Dont
be like me, Pisces. You, too, may soon receivea blessing that has some minor annoyance.Dont overreact like me. Look past the blemishand enjoy the gi.
Homework: Practicing unconditional love isthe toughest, most heroic task o all. Heresmy attempt to get better at it: http://bit.ly/WorldKiss. Can I see yours?
FRee WiLL AstRoLoGYby Rob Brezsny
Go to RealAstrology.comto check out Rob Brezsny's
EXPANDED WEEKLY AUDIO HOROSCOPES& DAILY TEXT MESSAGE HOROSCOPES
The audio horoscopes are also available by phone at1-877-873-4888 or 1-900-950-7700
LEO (July 23-August 22): In 1990, myrock band World Entertainment War
played at a San Francisco nightclubon the same bill as the Beatnigs, an
assemblage ronted by Michael Franti. Teiravant-garde industrial music eatured bandmembers rhythmically hitting a steel bar with apower saw and slapping a long chain against apiece o sheet metal hanging rom the back wall.Fast-orward to 2009, when Frantis latest bandSpearhead released a catchy romantic pop dittytitled Say Hey (I Love You), which reachednumber 18 on the Billboard Hot 100 chart. Ipredict a comparable development or you inthe next six months, Leo: moving rom a state
o raw, dark, obscure power to a state o bright,rened, accessible power.
VIRGO (August 23-September
22): Mangosteens and rambutansare exotic ruits that grow in arawayplaces. Te mangosteen is creamy
and purple, with a peachy citrus taste, while therambutan is like a big hairy red grape. Tis isa perect moment, astrologically speaking, toinvite them into your mouth. Likewise, the timeis right or you to consider welcoming othercolorul, striking, and oreign elements into your
lie. So maybe consider making riends with aParaguayan acrobat. Sing Vietnamese olk songs.Read the memoirs o an Iranian exile. Exchangeconspiracy theories with an Icelandic airy.
LIBRA (September 23-October
22): A reader named Emoryproposes that we add a new meme to the culturallexicon: interpersonal intellectual orgasm. Hereshow he describes it: It happens when yourconversation with another person becomes sointense that nothing else matters except thedialog youre creating together. Te two o you
are so in-tune, so intellectually bonded, that thesensation is almost like making love. For thattime, its like that person is in you and you are inthat person; you are one because you understandeach other so completely. I bring this to yourattention, Libra, because youre in a phase oyour astrological cycle when the interpersonalintellectual orgasm is ar more likely than usualto occur.
SCORPIO (October 23-November
21): Unlike people who cheat on theirmates, polyamorists carry on two or
more intimate relationships but dontlie about it. Teir lovers know about each otherand have agreed to the arrangement. I applaudthose who have the inclination to pull o thistricky work, even though I personally couldntmanage it. Handling just a single intense bondtakes improbable amounts o my ingenuity. I Iwere trying to weave my ate together with morethan one partner, I wouldnt have any energy leover to write these horoscopes or do anythingelse. How about you, Scorpio? Youre in a phasewhen splitting your attention might be tempting,not just in regards to your love lie but in other
areas, too. Whether thats the right thing to do, Icant say. Heres what I do know: You can eithergo deeper or wider, but not both.
ARIES (March 21-April 19):In a recipe or salsa published
recently, one o the ingredients wasmisstated, due to an error, said
an apology run by a local newspaper. Tecorrect ingredient is 2 tsp. o cilantro insteado 2 tsp. o cement. Tis is an example o thekind o miscue you should be alert or in yourown lie during the coming week, Aries. Aslong as you pay close attention and spot thetiny boo-boos as they arise, you wont end updipping your chips into a gritty, gravely mess.
TAURUS (April 20-May 20): Alittle knowledge can be dangerous.
I constantly meet people who haveboxed themselves into tight spots
by misusing their smattering o astrologicalinormation. Teres no better example othis than the superstition about Mercuryretrograde, which is supposedly a bad time tobegin anything new. During one such periodlast year, an acquaintance o mine decided todelay accepting a dream job oer as editor oa magazine. By the time Mercury returnedto normal, the magazine had hired anotherapplicant. I wish Id have known, because Iwould have told her what Ill tell you: Some
o Americas biggest, most enduring Fortune500 companies began when Mercury wasretrograde, including Disney, Goodyear, andBoeing. Te moral o the story: O all thesigns o the zodiac, its most important thatyou auruses dont worry about launchingnew projects during the current Mercuryretrograde.
GEMINI (May 21-June 20): Wouldyou really preer it i you had noproblems? Do you imagine youdenjoy lie more i everything was
pure un and smoothly easy? Heres anastrological perspective: People who have anover-abundance o positive aspects in theirnatal horoscopes oen turn out to be luckybut lazy bums who never accomplish much.So I say, be thankul or the complications thatare visiting you. I bet they will make a manout o you i youre a woman, or a woman outo you i youre a man. I youre white, theyllhelp you get blacker, and i youre black, theyllmake you whiter. Catch my dri? As you doyour best to solve the knotty riddle, youllbecome better balanced and more versatile
than olks who are rarely challenged.
CANCER (June 21-July 22):Heres the most important ruleor you in the coming week:Keep your eyes xed on a vision
o your shining destiny. I you do, youll beunappable, indeatigable, and irrepressible.Your luck will be so crazy good itll be almostspooky. Noble deeds you did in the past willnally bring the rewards you deserve. Allieswill conspire to assist you, sometimes inways you couldnt have predicted. Im not
exaggerating, Cancerian. I you stay ocusedon the highest prize, youll live a charmed lie.
April 1 Crossword Answers
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
19/24
BusinessPoliticsArtsC
ultureNowYouKnowRiverCitiesReader.com
RiverCit
iesReaderVol.17No.751A
pril29-May12,2010
19
July , 00July , 00April 9, 010ITS ABoUT TIMEApril 15 Answers: Page 18Edited by Justin Lynn Morris
ACRoSS1. Fashions
6. Sit down quickly
10. Like a reptile
15. A cheese
19. Ryan or Papas20. Dead
21. Mood disorder
22. Role in Othello
23. Lords estate
24. Soloists oering25. John Jacob _
26. Mature27. Start o a quip by co median
Demetri Martin: 6 wds.
31. Disney sh32. Approves
33. Fixed
34. Altercation
37. Makes more sedate
40. Windpipe44. Material or tablecloths
45. Dance o old
46. Begrime
47. IX + XXXII
49. Pindaric50. Part 2 o quip: 5 wds.
55. In medias _
56. High society
57. Stay58. Region colonized by the Greeks
59. Humanities61. Gain
62. Tax o a kind
63. Place or a air
64. Loathed
66. Part 3 o quip67. A possessive
68. Worried
70. Music maker
72. Hit-show announcement
73. Settled76. Metric measure
77. Diagnostic image
78. Ulan _
80. Chinese way
81. Part 4 o quip: 6 wds.85. Princess in comic opera
86. _ Plaines
87. Fabled racer88. Indigenous Alaskan
89. Omphalos
91. Standing
94. Airlines airliners
95. Eye part96. Billions o years
97. Bounder
98. Popular beverage
99. End o the quip: 5 wds.
109. Jai _110. Brilliance
111. Slipper with no back112. La _ Vita
113. Lunch container
114. Stir up115. Blue or yellow fag
116. Bring orth
117. Being: Latin
118. Snide look
119. Wholly absorbed120. Jeter o baseball
DowN1. Puccini heroine
2. Omani, or one3. Casino game
4. Say clearly
5. Policeman
6. Founder o the Academy in Athens7. _ Crot
8. Auricular9. Ringing sound
10. Strikes
11. Tuns
12. Greek temple part
13. MGM mascot14. Event or bargain hunters: 2 wds.
15. Kind o note
16. Challenge
17. Greek contest
18. Haylot28. _ Pinaore
29. Pizzazz
30. Shamus or gumshoe
34. Plant lie
35. Amendment to a document36. OR doctor
37. Stateroom
38. Dismounted39. Balcony section40. Hot nightcap41. Prevalent
42. Providing absolution43. Old Michael Caine role45. Icy46. Tizzy
48. _ _ rst you dont succeed ...51. Cut down52. Touch on53. Low-cal, at-ree, etc.
54. Nocturnal primate60. Cut62. Payable63. Lacking
65. Bird also called noddy66. Cui _67. Freshwater sh68. Skid
69. Gravitational phenomena70. Earthy pigment71. Reveal72. Dark ale
74. Noted activist75. Down Under marsupial77. Headliner78. Hepatic secretion
79. To _ _ (precisely)
82. Bellows83. Ralph _ Emerson84. Contained
90. Like some desserts: 3 wds.92. Roman magistrate93. Hallux94. Thicker
95. Certain heir97. Action-movie sequence98. Thorax
99. Sad cry100. Platorm in a hall101. Desktop picture102. A great many: var.
103. Arab ruler104. Atmosphere105. Clasp
106. Make indistinct107. _ homo!108. Smell109. Siamang
REAL ESTATEFOR RENT2 BR Apt in Dewitt. Rental Assistance available. All
utilities paid. On-site Laundry. Equal Housing Opportunity. 563-
212-0205.
NOW RENTING1 or 2 bedroom lot apartment. Call today or details
and a showing @ 563-210-8638 www.riverwalklotsapts.com
SMALL ARTISTS SPACE wANTED(150 sq t or better). Must be in ornear the East Village o Davenport. Must have heat, elec. (min. 2+ 20A110V circuits) and water (hot/cold) Must be secure, and non-sharedspace ( or possibly securable within a shared space). And must be 24hraccessible. Will mostly be used evenings and weekends by a responsible,novice adult artist with a ull-time day job. Email [email protected].
AUToMoTIVE2004 Pontiac Vibe. Versatile & reliable non-smoker vehicle with75,000 miles. Equipped with automatic locks, windows, mirrors, and
transmission, new ront brakes, cd player and moonroo. Red withblack interior. Great MPG=26/36. $7500.00. Please call 563-271-
3424 or more ino.
SALES & FLEA MARkETShUGE FLEA MARkET, ANTIQUE AND COLLECTIBLE
SHOW! Sunday, April 25 at the Jackson CountyFairgrounds,Makoqueta, Iowa.8:30 AM 3:30 PM. Adm:
$3.00Eastern Iowas LARGEST show with 150 sellers!Early Bird
Adm: $10, 6:30 AM - 8:30 AM.Info: 319-462-0135\
EMPLoYMENTWenger Truckline Looking or Shop SUPERVISOR 1st or 2nd Shit
Working supervisor Appy in person or send resume to: Janelle 1011Floral Lane.Davenport, IA 52802
Drivers: Lcal City Suttle. FT/PT Pos. Avail! CDL-A, 5yrs E xp.w/warehouse experience. Apply in person: Murrays Warehouse: 915
Floral Lane, Davenport, IA
MUSICIANS & ARTISTSBassist seeks to join/start Christian alternative rock band. Also
plays synthesizer, percussion. Have PA/Tascam or recording. Call309-786-1499.
MUSICIANS & ARTISTSLOOKING FOR BASSIST to join with relatively new band. Must be
willing to develop originals and play modern rock covers. Styles/
artists include unk rock, Sheryl Crow, Cake, Jet. Gigs on horizon soserious inquiries only. Email Bruce at [email protected]
Acoustic act looking or guitar player and singer to jam/play withexperienced drummer and bass player, have PA and lights. Some o
the bands that are covered include Led Zeppelin, The Doors, Alice in
Chains, Jimmy Hendrix, Red Hot Chili Peppers that are transposedinto an acoustic ormat. I interest please email [email protected]
oPPoRTUNITIESCALL FOR VENDORS! Food, Crats, Arts, Businesses,Inormational,
all considered! For the 2010 QC Pride Fest June 6, 2010. 1 p.m.til 9 p.m. Downtown Davenport street estival celebrating
diversity! 3000+ attendees anticipated! Live radio remote onsite! Applications due by 5/29/10. Booths start at just $50.00!Go to: www.qcpride.org or application and inormation. Email
[email protected] with questions.
oThER
HEALTH SERVICESTransformational Massage-Massage or Your Lie-$10.00 o
regularly priced massage with coupon.Check out our hydro-stimula-tion spa!Now two locations:506 East Locust, Davenport985 Lincoln
Road, Bettendor563-340-8120 Joetta Engels.
HOME SERVICESHandy Man Services Call Paul Weathers 563-570-5888 Roong,Drywall, Construction & More!
CALL TO PLACE YOUR AD TODAY!
() -009or visitRiverCitiesReader.cm/classifeds
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
20/24
Rive
rCitiesReader
Vol.17No.
751
April29-
May12
,2010
Business
Politics
Arts
Culture
Now
YouKno
w
RiverCitiesReader.com
0
the brutish Swamp, was a particular joyto watch as she glared and tromped and
shouted across the eld. And I oundmysel smiling when Don Denton did,well, just about anything. He has a
charming, youthul presence that t hischaracters vocal range and level o physicalengagement perectly; even when sitting
in thebackgroundduring the
song TeHistory
Lesson,he wasumblingwith his
shirt buttonand gazingat the singer
while hismouth hungopen, justlike a childs
would.
(o behonest, his
dedicationto the role made me eel a bit giddy, andaer the show, I nearly lined up to get his
autograph on the back o my program, justlike the other kids.)
Worth mentioning on the technical side
was the strobe light that was used to createthe slow-motion action scenes, a nice touchthat solved what was no doubt a difcult
part to stage by director Kimberly Furness.And Gregory Hiatts costume designs
particularly Swamps were humorouslytranslated rom Allards pages.
Meanwhile, the simple backdropconsisted o a huge black curtain that,
unortunately, toppled over during a scenechange, and caused many young audiencemembers to shout, Tats not supposed
to happen! Te actors and stage crewquickly made amends, though, and beorethe remaining scenes were played out in
ront o the Church Basement Ladies 2kitchen set, one o the actors called out to
the audience, Just pretend all this stubehind me isnt here! Somehow thissnau which mightve aected me morenegatively i I hadnt been surrounded by a
bunch o chirpy and easily adaptable kids seemed appropriate consideringMissNelsons message o perseverance, and there
was something unique and particularlyendearing about watching three skinnyootball players doing jumping jacks in
ront o a 1960s-style rerigerator.
For tickets and inormation, call (309)786-
7733, extension 2, or v isit Circ21.com.
Its been more than 20 years since I readHarry Allards series o Miss Nelson
childrens books, but its hard to orgetViola Swamp, the meanest substituteteacher in the whole world.Miss Nelson
Has a Field Day, currently playing at theCirca 21 Dinner Playhouse, eaturesSwamp (Liz J. Millea) as the no-nonsense
alter-egoo MissNelson,
the kindlymath
teacher atHorace B.SmedleyElementary
School. Teshow is asunny as I
rememberthe booksbeing, and
judging
rom the
laughterthat was
constantlyerupting rom the audience o mostlyelementary-school students at the April 16
matinee perormance, I wasnt the only onewho thought so.
Miss Nelson Has a Field Day ocuses
on three Smedley ornadoes teammates Daniel (Brad Hauskins), Kenny (DonDenton), and Patrick (Bret Churchill)
who havent won a single ootball game,or even scored a point, during their season.
Teir well-meaning coach (Janos Horvath)asks them to run a lap during practice,but they preer to laze around, whiningthat theyll never win, so why should they
bother making an eort? Teir attitudeschange, though, when Miss Nelsonintervenes as Coach Viola, striding onto the
eld with a black wig on her head, warts onher nose, a scowl on her lips, and a presencethat not so much inspires change rom her
athletes as demands it.Te unniest moments or me and
there were many were the subtle, cleverones that gave the scenes and charactersmore dimension and likability; the unniestmoments or the kids, I believe based
on the intensity o their laughter and theirlack o squirminess were those thatincluded exaggerated physical comedy
and the character o Viola Swamp. While Iappreciated, or instance, the nal tableauwith the Gatorade (made o orange cloth)
being dumped onto the coachs head,the kids got the biggest charge out o theoriginal coachs inability to do a push-up.
Among the cast members, Millea, as
kiddie GridirnMiss Nelson Has a Field Day, at the Circa 21 Dinner Playhouse through May 8
By Jill Walsh
Brad Hauskins, Janos Horvath, and Liz J. Mi llea
Equal Employment Opportunity Equal Housing Opportunity
Morning Star Senior ResidencesIs NOW OPEN!
A Great Place youll be proud to call home!
Morning Star Senior Residences is co-sponsored by Disciples Unitingin the Quad Cities and United Church Homes, Inc. It is managed
by United Church Homes, Inc.
Morning Star Senior Residences is an apartment community located
in the city of Moline. To be eligible, applicants must meet rental
criteria and be age 62 or older as defned in the HUD 202 elderly
program.3601 6th Ave., Moline, IL.
Phone (309) 797-1524 TTY: 800-750-0750
Call or stop by for a tour!
8/9/2019 River Cities' Reader - Issue # 751 - April 29, 2010
21/24
BusinessPoliticsArtsC
ultureNowYouKnowRiverCitiesReader.com
RiverCit
iesReaderVol.17No.751A
pril29-May12,2010
1
010/04/29 (Thu)
Black Hawk College Jazz Ensemble (6:30pm)-Huckleberrys, 223 18th St Rock Island, IL
Elsinore - Chrash -The Mill, 120 E BurlingtonIowa City, IA
Live Lunch w/ Dave Maxwell (noon) -Mojos(River Music Experience), 130 W 2nd StDavenport, IA
Luis Ochoa -Mojos (River Music Experi-ence), 130 W 2nd St Davenport, IA
Miles Nielsen -Monks Kaee Pub, 373 BluSt. Dubuque, IA
Mr. Gnome - Empires -Gabes, 330 E. Washing-ton St. Iowa City, IA
Natty Nation -Iowa City Yacht Club, 13 S LinnSt Iowa City, IA
Open Mic Night -The Dam View Inn, 410 2ndSt Davenport, IA
Strange Arrangement -RIBCO, 1815 2nd Ave.
Rock Island, ILThe Claire Lynch Band -CSPS/Legion Arts,
1103 3rd St SE Cedar Rapids, IAThe Steady RollinBlues Band eaturing Jim-
mie Lee Adams -Rascals Rock MemorabiliaBar, 1414 15th St. Moline, IL
Troy Harris, Pianist (6pm) -Red Crow Grille,2504 53rd St. Bettendor, IA
2010/04/30 (Fri)
ABC Karaoke -Circle Tap, 1345 Locust St.Davenport, IA
Bee All U Can Bee Karaoke & DJ -CommodoreTap, 2202 W. 3rd St. Davenport, IA
Carolines Spine - Head Held High -RIBCO, 1815 2nd Ave. Rock Island, IL
Crossroads -Rascals Rock Memorabilia Bar,
1414 15th St. Moline, ILDeadman Flats -Gabes, 330 E. WashingtonSt. Iowa City, IA
Decibully - Happy Chromosomes -The Mill,120 E Burlington Iowa City, IA
Email all listings to [email protected] Deadline 5 p.m. Thursday before publication
Continued On Page 22
29Thursday
30FRIday
DJ Night -Uncle Harleys Bar & Grill, 202 W.Mayne St. Blue Grass, IA
Fat Dawgs Productions Karaoke & DJ Service-Shannons Bar and Grill, 252 S State AveHampton, IL
FNR @ Hal-a-Ween -Uptown NeighborhoodBar and Grill, 2340 Spruce Hills Dr. Bet-tendor, IA
Gray Wol Band -Len Browns North Shore Inn,7th Street and the Rock River Moline, IL
Karaoke Night -Sneaky Petes, 207 Cody Rd.N. LeClaire, IA
Live Lunch w/ Ren Estrand (noon) - Mojos(River Music Experience), 130 W 2nd StDavenport, IA
Meet the Press -Time Out Sports Bar and Grill,1815 Manuacturing Dr Clinton, IA
Merry Hooligan - Searching or Security -Up! Rise & Fall - Moral Belie -River MusicExperience, 129 Main St Davenport, IA
RetroRon (5:30pm) -Mojos (River Music Expe-rience), 130 W 2nd St Davenport, IA
Richie Lee -Riverside Casino and Gol Resort,3184 Highway 22 Riverside, IA
Russ Reyman Trio (5pm) -The Rusty Nail, 2606W Locust Davenport, IA
Shawn Phillips - Ellis Kell - The RedstoneRoom, 129 Main St Davenport, IA
Sublime Tribute with Second Hand Smoke-Iowa City Yacht Club, 13 S Linn St IowaCity, IA
The Contours eaturing Sylvester Potts -Quad-Cities Waterfront Convention Cen-ter, 1777 Isle Parkway Bettendorf, IA
The Karry Outz -The Rusty Nail, 2606 W LocustDavenport, IA
The Lovedogs -Desperados, 112 S Main St.,Wheatland, IA
The RiverCity6 -Edje Nightclub at Jumers