Rinpoche Working With Emotions

8/2/2019 Rinpoche Working With Emotions

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Working with Emotions

A Transcribed Teaching Given by Mingyur Rinpoche in March, 2004

This morning there is going to be a discussion about dealing with the emotions. There

are two types of emotions: negative and positive. The negative emotions we have to

abandon and the virtuous or positive emotions we need to cultivate. If one practices the

virtuous actions then there is a benefit from that for a beginner. How do we reject some

of these emotions and how do we adopt the other ones? How do we actually go about

doing that?

Generally speaking, how do the emotions arise? They come about because of grasping.

If one is very tightly bounded by the grasping, then negative emotions arise from that. If

one lessens one's grasping and tightness with the emotions, then through the lessening

of the grasping one can have some wisdom arising from that. Less grasping connected

with knowledge becomes positive emotion. Strong grasping connected with emotion

becomes negative emotion. Positive and negative emotions both are based on grasping.

First we will be explaining how to deal with the negative emotions. We need to achieve

some balance in the mind. If one attains a state of balance within one's mind then

negative emotions can't harm one. Where do the negative emotions normally come

from, how do they arise? It's because one is too tight. Having too tight state in the mind,

the negative emotions arise from that. What is the technique or method to liberate

oneself from this tightness? - First one needs wisdom or intelligence. If one has some

intelligence regarding the emotions then one sees that being too tight is without

meaning and that the negative emotions arise from tightness. One has to understand in

an intelligent way that there is no meaning to the negative emotions.

Now I'm going to give you an example. There is a person with great attachment to their

face. They are too tight. The person thinks: "I have a very beautiful face, I am

handsome." The person is looking in a mirror everyday. "The picture looks even better

than me." Having too tight grasping for the beauty of one's face, eventually one will see

a fault in it. Even there is no fault in there one will perceive a fault. If there is a tiny fault

or blemish, on becomes sad. "My mouth is too big, oh dear" Further on one looks

every day again and again in the mirror: "Oh dear..." So then you try to chance the face,

the way you look. But it's not really much of use to try to do that. Then you think:whatever it is, it's wrong, it's not very good. "What shall I do?" Every day you look in the

mirror and see the mistake. You are uglier every day. After one month you think you are

really ugly. Finally one sees the fault which doesn't really exist being a big fault. Then

you start to think: "Maybe other people are seeing this fault. Then you think: "Oh, that

person is looking at my fault! My crooked nose. Yes, he is really looking at me." Then

you get quite embarrassed and you are unable to speak. Your speech gets interrupted,

you are coughing and blushing. After some time one is not able to go outside in the


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2 | D e a l i n g w i t h E m o t i o n s Y o n g e y M i n g y u r R i n p o c h e

public. Even though nobody is looking at your nose at all you think they are. From time

to time one may think: "Actually, are they really looking me or not? Maybe it's my

wrong perception." Then you have to examine or test it. In the end you get wrong

information. Having tested it, it is still wrong information and you think: "They are really

looking at me, I'm certain of that." So, on top of that you get more grasping, more

tightness.

There is no meaning in that. You are actually fine, there is nothing wrong. That's the

beginning of all different types of negative emotions. Carrying on that way they become

bigger and bigger. Based on that, one feels loneliness, embarrassment, fear, and also

depression. All these negative emotions will arise from that. But if you look at it really,

there is no need for that, it's just made by one's own mind. So you need to understand

that. That's called intelligence. That intelligence liberates you.

Misunderstanding in the first place - not knowing that the emotions and misperceptions

come from one's own mind - one starts to think erroneously that they come or rely on

external objects, so you think: "That person is good, that person is bad, this is not nice,and this is nice." All this comes from one's own mind and because one doesn't recognise

that one puts the emphasis on external objects, thinking that they rely on them.

If you look at it from another point of view, when somebody says that a crooked nose is

very good, that means that you are handsome and fortunate. So if you have a great trust

in somebody who says you have a crooked nose and that's very nice, you will have

happiness. Also you will like that person. If you have that kind of information from many

friends, doctor or whoever, you will trust them. "If I have crooked nose, it's very good."

Then if you see in a mirror: "Oh, I don't have a crooked nose. Yes, I need to have a

crooked nose. What shall I do? Every day maybe push it like this!" Not to have a crooked

nose is very sad, maybe you need to go to hospital and have plastic surgery. "Please putplastic in here, make a crooked nose." Then you look in the mirror: "Fantastic,

handsome!" Then you walk and think: "I have a nice face, they are looking at me, and

I'm very beautiful." There is another side, you know.

The main point is that one's mind makes all of this. One needs to understand that, to

have that intelligence. If one understands that, it's like releasing a knot. One is relieved

from that. These days a lot of things like that arise. These days we call the time of the

five degenerations. There is lots of fighting and arguments and these are based on this

kind of misunderstanding. But if you look at it really, there is no meaning to any of that.

But misunderstanding one thing for another, you have the idea: "This person is bad" and

so on. Many negative things can arise from that misunderstanding.

So then apart from one's own idea, one's own perception, you can't see anybody else's,

only one's own. So then all the time we make our own kind of box where we put

ourselves in. Whatever comes into the box is good, whatever doesn't fit, what is left

outside, is no good. Then one's mind becomes smaller and smaller.

Now I am going to give you another example. There is a person who likes to eat chilies a


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lot. The person thinks: "If I eat chilies I'll be very happy, they are very tasty." He is

certain of it and goes off to another person, who doesn't like chilies. So he thinks: "That

person is not that good. He doesn't like chilies." In your mind you have a thought like

that. As I said before, you make a little box for yourself and everything that fits inside is

good. If it doesn't fit inside your box, it's not good. In this case you are thinking: "Chilies

are very good," that's kind of making your box. If that person was to like chilies he wouldfit inside the box you've made. If the other person thinks the chilies are not good and

they make them ill, you will think: "What's wrong with them?" And you think: "Well,

they don't fit in my box, they are bad."

Based on that, one makes oneself separate from others. "I'm good, they are bad. I'm

clever, I've got lots of qualities, and they are stupid." One divides oneself up like this and

then arguments. Difficulties arisen from that. World War one and two, these arose from

that kind of small thing, in the beginning.

"That person is taller than me, I don't like them. That person is smaller than me, I don't

like them." I don't like. What ever it is you don't like, you talk a lot about it. "That persontalks a lot, I don't like him. He speaks more than I do. That guy has no qualities, he is no

good. He speaks less than me." But really, everybody is the same, aren't they. Everybody

is the same because everybody wants to experience happiness and nobody wants to

experience suffering. So we are all like one family. Everybody possesses the Buddha

nature. The Buddha nature is something very pure, clean and wonderful, and we all

possess that. When we say "Buddha nature", it sounds like a very fancy name, but if you

can call it sentient beings' nature, it's the identical meaning. So, everybody's essence is

actually very good. This is human intelligence and that's a very good thing. The essence

of everybody is very pure. So we are all the same, how can you say we are all the same,

because everybody wishes to experience happiness and everybody wants to be free of

the suffering. We don't have to make any boundaries or differences between people.

Because we misunderstand that point then we make boundaries between people.

Because of these self-made boundaries between people the destructive emotions,

negative emotions, all of these arise from that.

That was just a general sharing of information. In brief you can say that whatever

suffering one has it normally starts from a very small beginning. Something very small in

the first stage. Having grasping for that it becomes more and more. That's also same for

what we call positive emotions. They start very small in the beginning and they get

greater and greater. It's said in the texts that whatever habit one has, it becomes easier

and easier, even it feels difficult in the beginning. It becomes easier through the habit.

All our emotions arise based on habit. So then, if we have a bad habit and we have a

strong clinging to that, strong tightness with that, it gets worse, stronger and stronger. If

you have a good habit, there will be a good result from that.

How many negative emotions are there then? We call them the six poisons. Based on

the six poisons you can have fear arising and depression and also a feeling of disgust and

sadness. These are all called negative emotions. How do these arise? As was explained


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before one becomes very tight with the grasping and then one makes a big difference

between oneself and others. Based on that all the negative emotions arise. So I'm going

to explain to you how they arise.

First we have anger. First of all one has oneself and then other and one thinks: "I'm good

and that person is not so important. I'm very important." That's a boundary betweenyou two. It's quite strong boundary and based on that comes anger. "That person

caused harm to me." That's anger. "I try to beat, kill or fight them. I say various things to

make his head spin." What is the object of the anger, actually? The object is something

that is not pleasing to the mind. We call it a bad object but who makes the bad object?

The bad object is only made in one's own mind. Even if you call it a bad object, it's still

made from one's own mind.

That was the anger, and now we have the pride: "This person has got absolutely no

qualities at all. He is just nothing. I'm much better than them, I've got more qualities

than him, I've got more money, I'm more famous, I can meditate better than him. That

person is not so good meditator. I'm the best one. I've got very good experience, I thinkno-one else has experience like that." The pride comes about by thinking that the object

is much less than you. Thinking that the person (the object) has no qualities is made by

your own mind. Who knows whether they've got qualities or not. One is not able to

100% find out or perceive that. That person has also got the Buddha nature. That person

also wants to have the happiness and be free from suffering, exactly the same as

oneself.

The third one is desire. It is based on a pleasing (good) object. "Oh, that's really good,

it's nice. I need that. I want to get that object. I desire it." So then, without any control

one runs after it. One runs after the object of desire. If you get a very strong desire, you

are not able to eat your meal. At night you can't sleep. "I need this, I need that." And if itgets worse and worse you will become crazy. So that's called the good or pleasing

object. If you ask: "What is a pleasing object then?" - Your mind makes it.

The fourth one is jealousy. It arises by thinking that the object is equal to oneself. "Me

and that person, we are the same, but maybe eventually this person is better than me.

That's no good. We are the same, but everybody likes him and not me. How can I do

something to him? What can I do to prevent that person from getting better than me?

To obstruct him from getting better than me I need to do something. What kind of

method can I use? Perhaps I can use a peaceful method." You speak to one person

against the other. "He says that you are not good." You tell other people that, like a

gossip. With divisive speech you try to break up two people and the two people whowere friendly become separate because of your divisive speech. Then you think the

power of the person you are jealous of becomes less and less. "They are getting less

than me now, good." If you can't get any result using the peaceful way, then you have to

use a wrathful method. Then you actually argue with them, fight with them. But there is

not much benefit in that. You get the harm in the end. If you use divisive speech, in the

final you will get a bad result coming from that. So there is no meaning in that because


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one doesn't benefit from that. Actually one's enemies will increase. The first object (the

person) will not like you and then the second person you try to use your divisive speech

on, they also won't like you. So you got two enemies now.

Then we have stinginess. If you don't know what stinginess really mean I'm going to give

you more explanation! If you were to go to town for example, and you met one personbegging. "Give me money," if you have a bad mind you think: "That person is trying to

get me to waste my money." If you have a good mind, you think: "Maybe I give some."

You look inside your pocket and take out something. It's a fifty pound note. "This is too

much!" You put it back in your pocket. Again you find something. A twenty pound note.

That's also too much. You put it back. Again you take something out. A ten pound note.

That's a little bit too much. Eventually you get a pound coin. Okay. You give the beggar

the pound coin. Having given that pound you go off home. At home you think: "I gave a

pound. That's not really very small. It's a lot; I could have bought some toothpaste with

that pound. I could have bought some tissue paper. Now I can't. That's not very good.

I've wasted my pound." Thats stinginess.

If one gets a habit of that again and again, one can't even eat one's food. You just eat

small amount of food. You don't wear good clothes, even though you've got money.

Even if you have got millions and billions you won't spend it. Even if you gave one pound

you get a very stingy feeling about that. You are not able to buy a good car. You can't

actually utilise your wealth. When you die, you can use it then! Even if you were in

actuality a rich person, if you've got a lot of stinginess, you can't get a lot of benefit from

that because you can't use it.

The sixth one is the ignorance. Ignorance is actually the root of all the other ones, the

previous five. It is the root of all of them, because one doesn't really understand the

object on which one's negative emotion is based. Because one doesn't understand thenatural state of all the phenomena, all the different objects, one gives arise to the

negative emotions through that ignorance. If you really understand the natural state of

the phenomena and the objects, then you don't give arise to the negative emotions. The

ignorance is like the basis or root, from which all the other negative emotions arise

from. Based on these six negative emotions or six mind poisons, all of the fear,

depression, loneliness, all these things come up from that. If one doesn't accomplish

one's wishes or one's desires, one has loneliness and dissatisfaction from that. So then,

if your enemies are able to cause harm to you, you give rise to fear.

If one is really under the power of these six conflicting emotions or the disturbing

negative emotions, mind poisons, under the power of those six emotions, one is notable to achieve peace of mind. In the absence of those six it's quite difficult to

experience loneliness and fear. It won't happen, it won't come. Sadness, suffering,

loneliness and fear won't come. The reason that these things arise in the first place is

base on these six mind poisons. How is it that the six poisons arise? They come about

through misunderstanding. What is it that we misunderstand? One is, that oneself is

tight and also thinking that oneself is here and somebody else is there; self and other,


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and then making a boundary between them. And also thinking that happiness and

suffering are based on external objects. One doesn't achieve one's wishes because one

thinks that the happiness and suffering are based on external objects. If one doesn't get

what one wants, in the end you think that the external object is bad, that's the fault. So,

one thinks mainly of the external objects.

If one has the intelligence - what I'm talking about now is related to the first level of

intelligence - the main thing is the mind. However, you think the external object can be

the cause. It helps, but it's not the main reason. There is an example going back to nose.

You need a nose first, don't you? That's the cause. Based on having a nose, the condition

or the cause, one can have two experiences, positive or negative. If you think that a

bent nose is bad, you have a bad experience. If you think that a bent nose is good, then

you have a good experience. What are these based on? They are based on the nose

itself. But whether the bent nose is going to give you happiness or sadness is nothing

definite. You can't say definitely. What does it depend on, then? Definitely it depends onones mind. Therefore the main thing is the mind. But the nose helps with that. If you

don't have a nose, those two perceptions won't come, because you don't have a basis

for the perceptions to arise, there is no nose. That's for the first level of intelligence, it's

like a basis, but if one gets deeper into it the basis is lost. That liberates the mind

poisons. If you want to explain that, it's the view of emptiness. That's an advanced level

of intelligence.

Based on that, the Buddha has taught the two truths: the relative truth and the ultimate

truth. If you understand the state of the relative truth, one is able to pacify many of the

mind poisons; one is able to pacify lots of suffering. For example, if you have a wrong

perception regarding your nose, what is the relative truth of that? Actually your nose isfine all the time. You have the misperception of your nose being big, bent, this way and

that way. That's the relative illusion. Relatively it's not like that. Relatively speaking I

don't have any horns on my head. That's an illusion. Illusion means the relative aspect.

There are two types of relative truth, the relative of the relative and the ultimate of the

relative. Within this relative we also have a relative to a relative. There are many like

that. Even if the nose is not bent we think it is. We perceive it like that.

Understanding the intelligence level getting more and more advanced and clear,

understanding the emptiness, even the basis, the nose doesn't exist. At that point, the

advanced stage, all of one's negative emotions, all of one's defilements are completely

purified.

The subject covered this morning mainly is the intelligence. Based on that, do you have

any questions?

Translator: The lady says she wants to make a comment. As explained in the teaching

the root of negativity, negative emotions is ignorance, and having practised for quite

sometime she has come to realise something which wasn't mentioned in the teachings


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that this kind of ignorance can start when we are children and also lot of outside

things contribute to its arising.

Rinpoche: Ignorance is present in the children but it is also explained in the teachings

that even before you are child, in the previous lifetime, from beginningless lifetimes we

have had ignorance. So it's always there. It's not been said that at the time of being achild one doesn't have ignorance. It's implied that one has always had it. During the

previous lifetime one has had ignorance.

Some therapies relate a lot with the childhood but in the Buddhist way you think: "Well,

where does the child come from?" Childs habits come from the previous lifetime. So

then, even though the parents of the child might be very nice and kind, the child itself

might have bad habits and these come from a previous lifetime. Maybe the child is very

sensitive. Due to this sensitivity the child perceives a small fault but makes it very big.

The other case is that the parents may be extremely bad and the child him- or herself is

actually very nice, very pleasant child. Can have like that. What's the reason for this?

The habits come from previous lifetimes. So then the fault can't harm one.

Question: As was explained, intelligence is the remedy for the mind poisons, the

negative emotions, but when one is actually in a situation having some trouble with

the person, then at that point it's quite difficult to remember or have an idea of the

intelligence. So at that time when there is a trouble happening or some conflict, how

important is it to have compassion?

Rinpoche: It depends on one's habit. First of all one has to understand about the

intelligence having small problems, and after ones habit becomes more strong with the

intelligence one uses it with the situation and of course one can generate compassion

during that time as well. One starts with a small thing like whether one's nose is crookedor not. If one has this kind of fault in one's nose and one has confidence and habit that it

is good, even in the future someone says to you: "Having a bent nose is no good," you

won't trust them, because you have the habit yourself. So it depends on one's habit. It's

like the strength of one's practice.

Question: In the west a lot of us have self-hatred, guilt, and looking the Tibetans, they

don't seem to have that problem. Where do the self-hatred and guilt come from,

what's the root of this?

Rinpoche: You can have two reasons for that. One is that in Tibetan culture Buddha has

taught that everyone has identical buddha-essence, one has these qualities, that is onereason. It is very common for people to feel that. Because of that knowledge - everyone

has a common knowledge and appreciates one's own essence and feels that I've got a

lot of qualities, I'm a very good person without being proud. The second reason could be

the society. In the western society there are a lot of things to think about, isn't there?

Crazy monkey. Yes, no, yes, no. In Tibetan culture they don't really have this idea: I'm

bad, I'm good. They dont have that coming up. If you tell them that, they don't


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understand. "I'm useless, I don't have enough courage" They say: "What are you

talking about??" They will think you are quite like a strange person if you say that.

Question: What does Rinpoche rate our chances of accomplishing the meditation and

realising all this?

Rinpoche: You've got more chance, actually. If you have mind poisons, negativeemotions burning like a fire, from that you get even more blazing of the wisdom,

because of interdependence.

Question: What is the benefit of going on pilgrimage to holy places where yogis and

yoginis have meditated? There aren't many places like that in our part of the world.

Rinpoche: If you go, it's very good. You can think: "This is a holy place." Like a pure land.

Samye Ling has received blessings of many lamas. Dharma teachings have been

happening here and many lamas have visited and so on. Many things have come

together in this one place. That's where holy places come from. We don't have a holy

place from nothing. It has to come about from these various things coming together. Soyou can make your own home a holy place. Make a nice shrine. Very simple, but very

pleasing to look at. Put the representations of the body, speech and mind of the Buddha

there. If you think about that in a very nice way, that's a holy place.

Question: What about outside?

Rinpoche: All the men are dakas, all the women are dakinis, the environment is holy

pureland, that's the best holy place.

Question: If one is lucky not to have strong mind poisons but the others are angry

towards you, expressing their mind poisons towards you, what do you do about that?

Rinpoche: You can take it. You do the tonglen, sending and taking. If you think: "Oh, that

person is harming me, I'm going to get worse and worse, then it will become bad for

you. If you take it, it's beneficial for you. Then you are using the imagination of a white

light going out to the other person, giving all your virtue, all your goodness to that

person and in a smoky grey light from them you absorb all their negativity, all their

anger all the dreadful things, you take that in, exchange, sending and taking. Then the

other person's negativity is beneficial for you.

If I use an example, you are going along a very dangerous path and there are lots of

enemies there, thieves and brigands. Even if one has got many protectors and guards

with you, the enemy can still harm you. Sometimes they fight you, you fight them back.It would be quite difficult, wouldn't it? However, if you were transform all those

enemies into friends, who is going to harm you? You transform them into friends, so

they are only able to help you and there is no such thing as an enemy. It's like that.

Translator: The lady experienced last year that a thief stole a lot of her stuff. She is

thinking whether to approach it in a way of making an offering of that as a kind of act

of generosity or should she get a police involved.


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Rinpoche: It's okay to get the police involved, because if that thief continuously steals in

the end for that person it's not very good, and also all the other people he/she is going

to continue stealing from, it's not good for them either. He/she is continually creating

more and more negativity for himself or herself. If you are not able to recover the things

which have been stolen from you, then you just let go and do the sending and taking.

One practices with the light thinking loving-kindness and compassion for the thief. Allthe things that were lost you can offer them like a mandala.

Question: Relating back to some of the stories in the previous days there are different

types of faith, for example the dogs tooth and the old lady having as it's described

blind faith thinking that it is pure when it's actually not, so how can it be that having

this kind of blind faith or faith without real intelligence, how can that transform

external objects? How does that come about? So, could Rinpoche talk little bit about

blind faith.

Rinpoche: There are two things. As it was said in the other day, first of all when you

have faith in a lama you have to examine that lama and see if he possesses all of thequalities and various things that a genuine lama should possess. He needs a lineage and

an ability to have benefit for the others. He needs to have pure commitments. One

needs to examine that and test that. Who is it that we should have faith towards? If the

person has the pure lineage, pure commitments, pure activity, these type of persons,

we need to have the faith for them. First we have to establish that, and then one really

has to have faith in that.

So don't look to any kind of lama just going here and there. First one has to examine the

lama. And if one thinks that the lama is good, then as much as one is able to have faith

and devotion to that lama, that's good. At least the lama needs to have the right

appearance, qualities. But if the lama is not a bodhisattva of the first to the tenth level,if he is not like that, then there is not any difference. If he has got the right

characteristics of a lama, if he in at the 1 st or 8 th bodhisattva level, is no difference, it's

all the same. The blessing depends on one's faith, depends on oneself then. So that's

not blind faith. Having that thinking all the reasons why one should have faith for a

person, if one doesn't think about them and without reason has faith, that's what you

are talking about.

That's related to the relative. If you look at it from the ultimate point of view - at the

moment we are involved with the relative, aren't we? On one side we have to rely on

this relative truth. On the other side we have to rely on being free of that relative. These

two are the wisdom and skilful means together. If we go on this path, eventually therelative is completely liberated from that. Giving arise to the faith for the lama one has

to rely on the relative. If we rely on the relative, if the lama gives us a wrong teaching,

then we can go on to a wrong path in fact. So that's not good. For that reason one has to

look very well and examine very well in the first instant. That's a necessity and that's

connected with the relative.

If you look at it from the ultimate point of view, Mao Tse-tung caused a lot of harm to


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Tibetans but one doesn't need to have any connection with Mao Tse-tung oneself, one

doesn't have to receive any teachings from him. So you don't have a relative connection

with him, you don't need one. From ultimate point of view, if you think Mao Tse-tung is

Buddha, that's fine. Why? Mao Tse-tung's essence is the buddhanature, isn't it? He is

the same as the Buddha. So there is a reason for that. What is the reason for the nature

of Mao Tse-tung to be that of the Buddha? - He possesses the buddhanature. If youthink like that, you will get a blessing from that. So then one relies on the relative path

and the ultimate path together.

Going back to the story of the old mother and the tooth, she didn't take

dharmateachings from the tooth. So she did not break any commitment of samaya with

the tooth. The dog's tooth is not a false lama. That dog's toot is not able to give any false

teachings. The dog's tooth is not able to have any broken commitment. So, one doesnt

have any relative connection with that dog's tooth. The old lady looked it from the

ultimate standpoint but she perceived it as a pure thing. So there is benefit from that.

The nature of the dogs toot is to be emptiness, isn't it? The emptiness is the

dharmakaya. The emptiness and the dharmakaya are identical. Based on that, blessingwas obtained. That's not an example of blind faith.

Question: If the old lady's object of faith was an impure lama, what would happen?

Rinpoche: That would be very bad. The lama and the student both would go down to

the lower realms. There is an example. In Tibet there are yaks. Another yak-like animal is

called dzo. They are both very strong. When they fight their horns get interlocked and

pulling each other eventually they both fall down.

Question: But still the essence of the bad lama is emptiness.

Rinpoche: If there was a bad lama but one had a very high realisation from the ultimatepoint of view, and one wasn't staying very close to him, not depending on the lama and

wouldn't need teaching from the lama, you were not connected with that lama but you

attained high realisation, you can think that lama is Buddha and you can get blessing.

Because of that we can say it's one taste, the inseparability of the samsara and nirvana.

How can one say that? - The essence of samsara is nirvana, isn't it? All the faults and

mistakes, the essence of that is not truly existent. The true essence of that is nirvana.

It's important that one goes together with the relative and the ultimate. The reason for

that is that right now we are involved very much with the relative. If one goes beyond

the relative, then one doesn't have to rely on the relative.

Question: The given fact that all possess the buddhanature, we are all identical on

that level, how do the different various vacations come from. For example some

people have very much skill on one area, other people don't, they all have different

manifestations of work, how does this come about, relating to the fact that we have

all got the identical buddhanature?

Rinpoche: That comes around from the interdependence. Where does the


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interdependence come from? That comes from ignorance. Your essence has the five

qualities. If one doesn't recognise those five qualities they transform into the five

poisons and based on that comes the five elements and the five skandhas and the five

different types of path. And also the different types of people. So you have vajra-family

people. The vajra-family people have a lot of anger. They are quite stable but they have

got anger. The ratna-family, they need to do a lot of activity and they need to get a lot ofthings, and they have got pride. Like that there are forms or families of people. A lot of

different types of people come from that. Some people have connection with one type

of family people, some with two or three. So, if you recognize them, they can be

transformed into the five wisdoms. Five bodies. Five wisdoms, five bodies, all the

qualities of a Buddha can arise from that recognition.

Question: Would Rinpoche say a little bit of impartiality and is it okay to have a little

bit discernment in day to day life?

Rinpoche: Yes, it is beneficial. When we find ourselves in the relative world we have to

have that in order to survive in that environment. So we need to have discernment andthis has two tasks. Oneself on has to survive for the lifetime in that environment and the

secondly one has to realise the nature of all phenomena, the dharmata. That is also

discernment.

Question: Concerning fear, does Rinpoche think we should approach in a very peaceful

way and observe it or should one engage in it rather like going into a scary situation

and seeing what happens then with the fear?

Rinpoche: You can do both. First of all if you can train with small fear, that's good. You

can deal easily with a small fear, you start with that. Then if you can train and get a habit

of that, then you can get better later. If you arrive in a very fearful spot, you will be ableto do that very easily, straight away, start off with a small fear.

Here is an example. One has a baby, same family or type as the grown up person. The

small baby can't fight the grown up person, but they are both people, aren't they?

When the baby gets bigger he can thumb the big person. It's like that. We call this baby-

wisdom. If you use that, it's beneficial. At this level we can only fight another baby.

When we grow up we can fight the grown ups, too. However, if something frightening

happens, you don't need to be afraid. If one experiences fear coming up, one can

transform it to the path. At that point your baby-wisdom will be beneficial for one or

two seconds. Then again the fear arises and then again you look. Five or ten seconds

later the fear will come up. So if you do this again and again repeatedly, that's the bestmedicine; the baby-wisdom will get bigger and bigger. It's like exercising in the baby-

wisdom. It's like if you feed the baby good food it grows up very quickly, doesn't it. If

you don't exercise it, it doesn't get food, it will be very weak. The best food is a

challenge.

Question: What are the benefits of a bardo retreat?


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Rinpoche: It's very beneficial. It's for a very lazy person. Easy to get enlightened. You

won't be enlightened in this body. When you die, in a bardo after that there are three

bardos. The bardo of death, the bardo of dharmata and the bardo of possibility. The

next life will come from the bardo of possibility. In each of these three bardos it is

possible to reach buddhahood. It's very quick. First recognize, secondly get stability,

thirdly liberation. You may become a buddha or a high level of bodhisattva. It is veryeasy, because you don't have a coarse body, you have a subtle body. Based on the

recognition of having a subtle body one can achieve a swift liberation. Then one doesn't

have any gross illusions, only very subtle illusions.

Snam deji tam-che zig-pa nyi

tob-ne nye-pei dra nam pam che ne

tse ga na chi palab drupa ji

sipe cho-le dro va drol-var sho.

Due to this good karma, may I achieve omniscience,

Defeat the harmful enemies within me,

And free beings from the sea of existence

That is churned by the waves of birth, ageing, sickness and death.


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Session 2

What we are talking about is how to deal with the positive and negative emotions. At

the moment we are discussing how to deal with the negative emotions. As was

discussed this morning, the negative emotions, that was covering the first stage ofwisdom. It was said that the main cause of the arising of mind poisons or negative

emotions was grasping or tightness, being tight with oneself. You can also call that

ignorance. Ignorance is the source or the cause of all of the mind poisons. If you ask:

where is the beginning of the ignorance, there is no beginning. So, it's beginningless. If

the ignorance has no beginning and through that ignorance we experience the cyclic

samsaric rebirth again and again, how do we get the remedy for that? - The remedy for

ignorance is based on wisdom, (skt.prajna, tib. sherab ).

In Tibetan there are two words: rig and ma-rig. Rig means wisdom and marikmeans no

wisdom. So there is a big difference between these two. When one is learning about the

first stage of wisdom, the explanation has to do with how the main thing is the mind. Soif one realises that the main thing is the mind, one derives benefit from that. What's the

reason for that? It's because oneself holds oneself tight. Having the thought: "I can't

practice, I can't do anything, I'm no good," one can't even practice, because one feels

everything relies on external one, but then, what actually happens is one makes oneself

tight, so there is no benefit from that. Then one thinks in one's mind: "Practising has no

benefit," because one thinks that the happiness and the suffering rely on external

objects. One thinks 100% it's lying on outside objects. Because of that one has the

tightness. Then you have the thought: I can't train things, I can't transform things. But if

you have the opposite of that and think that the main thing is the mind, it's like opening

the door. Then one sees that one can transform anything, one can change anything.That's like the first stage of wisdom, opening the door.

Now we are going to go into the second stage. Within the second stage there are two

aspects. One is the five mind poisons: jealousy, pride, anger, stinginess and the

ignorance and the other side is to do with suffering like fear, depression or sadness.

These are the two aspects.

So I'm going to explain to you how to practice using the suffering. What can happen is

generally in our mind we have this situation where we can have lack of confidence and

fear. So, suffering comes from that. What we need to do is to get a method to remove

or pacify that. Why we need to get a remedy is because we have suffering from these,

so we need to remove them. For example if one has the suffering of depression and fear

and so on arising and accompanying that one has the thought: "This fear is not good for

me, suffering is bad for me, I don't want to have this depression;" this thought of not

wanting these things and pushing them away actually gives strength for them and

makes them worse, makes them grow.

So, like for example with the nose which is slightly crooked, if you think that's a very bad


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thing to have - the thought of not wanting to have that thing makes the fear worse in

one's own mind. If you have the opposite to that regarding the defect of the nose, if one

doesn't have much hope connected with that thinking that I have a hope to get rid of it,

if one doesn't have any fear about it: "Well whether it's there or not, it doesn't matter,"

then whatever suffering arises from that it will be lessened quite a lot, it will be hardly

there at all.

The first cause we have to remove is the idea which comes up with the suffering

thinking that suffering is something I don't want to have, I don't want to experience this,

it has to be got rid of. That's the first thought we need to address. If you can pacify that

then everything else will become easy. If we really have the courage and confidence in

our minds, whatever manifest we can control and transform that whatever it is.

There are two reasons why worrying about suffering and thinking it's not good for

oneself, is not beneficial. The first is that there is no benefit in worrying and secondly

one can make many problems from that. Out of the two I will explain the first one.

There is no benefit in suffering and suffering is not necessary. If one has problems and

suffering and one doesn't wish to have them, at the time one is experiencing suffering

and problems one has to think about it very well and see if one can have remedy for the

problems and suffering or not. Is there anything I can do or not? If there is something

you can do, a remedy exists, if you can make it better, you don't have to worry about it,

do you? You know the method. So then, if one has the remedy and a way of getting out

from the problems and suffering, what is the point of sitting there and thinking: "Oh, I'm

suffering; there is nothing I can do!" One knows the remedy, so there is no point in

worrying anymore because everything is going to work out okay, isn't it?

If one doesn't have a remedy or methods to get rid of the problem and suffering, if onecontinues to suffer from that, there is no benefit either. What is going to happen, will

happen, I don't have a remedy for that, so what's the point of worrying? If it was

beneficial for the suffering to worry about it, if crying about it would make the situation

better, then to cry would be okay. Cry as much as you want. You could pull out your

hair. Pull as much as you want, but it doesn't make any benefit to it, because you have

not found a remedy to address this problem.

I shall use an example of a stock market. A stock market from time to time goes down

and down. If you worry about that and cry: "Oh, my stocks, all gone," one keeps crying

and pulling out one's hair and if one breaks the crockery and cups, it won't make the

stock go up even one pound. If by pulling your hair out, crying, smashing of the crockeryand chocking things out of the window would make the stock market go up one pound

that would be really good. If you were to do that, that would be great! You should do as

much you could. But it doesn't have any benefit, does it? So there is no benefit to worry

at that point.

There are two points. One is the explanation of being no benefit, because if you have

got a remedy to an easy situation, you don't need to worry about it. If one has got a


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remedy, what's the point of worrying? The second point is of making things worse. For

example there are two people. One of the people is very tight fisted and always thinking

about one's own benefit. One has got a very spacious open mind. They've got a diamond

like Queen of England's crown jewel, maybe better than that, rubies, emeralds and all

kinds of different jewels. And they've got very got very good stocks on the stock market.

So they are both very happy and good together.

One day their various jewels which are much better than the Queen of England's jewels,

by the way, one day a thief came and took the whole lot. Then the stocks on the market

were all crashing down, they came to zero. So they had nothing. How is the guy who

was very tight in his mind? "Oh my god, I've got nothing left, and he pulled out his hair

and started crying. Maybe he could not eat his food. He could not speak to anybody. He

was able to do nothing. He just sat there. He thought: "There is no meaning to the

whole world, nothing is meaningful anymore." It's like the sky and earth were turned

upside down. Then also he thought finally, that he might commit suicide. And that he

might go crazy. It became a very difficult situation for him. He might as well be locked

up in a lunatics' asylum.

And the other guy? He knew how things really were, the state of things, and he also had

a very open spacious mind. How was he? "Oh, everything is finished! That's

impermanence. It comes and goes. Well, no benefit to worry then. Whatever was going

to happen it has already happened, so there is no remedy for it. Possessions are in ruin

now. It's okay. Maybe I'm more released than before. Before I had to think about the

stock markets a lot. Down and down, I dont need to do that anymore." He is able to eat

well and sleep fine. He didn't go crazy, didn't kill himself, and he didn't have to go to

hospital. He had a new idea: "I'm going to start another work, another business. The old

one was impermanent, it's gone. Everything is impermanent, so I can start something

else. Then he will start another business. He thinks: "Whatever I want, I can do it." He

has got confidence and courage. The guy who had tightness, he made things worse. So,

that was the second reason: making things worse.

Now I will tell you a story about Malaysia. There was a Chinese business man. He was

doing business in the stock market about four years. I think he had about 40 million

dollars. Then one day he lost everything, but his house. Normally he comes to the

dharma centre. All of his relatives came along trying to cheer him up. The guy said: "It's

no problem, it's all gone, don't worry." His mother was crying and worrying a lot. So he

was trying to make his mother to feel better. It really happened.

There are two main topics here explained. First one is having the thought that sufferingis not desired or one doesn't want it, it's bad. Above is the method of pacifying it. So the

first topic is finished. The following is an explanation of the second one: how to

appreciate it when suffering and problems arise.

Generally speaking, if we have suffering and negative emotions, different types of things

going on in the mind and problems, that's a very good situation first to have and to be

friends with. It's a good opportunity. Without the conflicting emotions or the mind


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poisons the wisdom can't blaze. We talk about the six realms of samsaric existence. The

god and demigod realms, they are separate from us. It is said that a human body is

better than a god body. The reason for that is that the god body, they don't experience

very coarse negative emotions. They don't have a cause of suffering. So they are not

able to achieve buddhahood in one lifetime, but we have that, don't we? Based on the

experiencing of gross suffering we can achieve buddhahood in one lifetime. Based onthose two: gross emotions and gross suffering we can do that. Generally speaking then,

suffering is a good thing.

Some people like to go rock climbing. When you do rock climbing fear comes up, doesn't

it? With rock climbing comes fear, but then you get a great courage from that, and

people go climbing to show off. Using the example of the person who goes rock

climbing, going up climbing you can face your fear, so you get a great opportunity to go

beyond the fear. Likewise with us, if suffering and emotions arise, we have a very good

opportunity to come face to face with them. In Tibet the Lamas go off searching for the

suffering and problems. I'm going to tell you a story.

There was a great lama in Tibet called Patrul Rinpoche. In Tibet at that time most of the

practitioners had heard that Patrul Rinpoche was very well known and very famous.

From time to time Patrul Rinpoche would take off his normal clothes and put on very

dirty bad clothes and go wandering off in disguise. Patrul Rinpoche was the composer of

Kunzang Lame Shellung, The Words of My Perfect Teacher. That text or book got

permeated all over Tibet, everybody knew it. His place is called Sachuka, and from there

he went to Nangchen one day. He was wearing very rough clothes with tears in them

and very shabby looking. In the capital of Nangchen there was a monastery called Sechu

gompa, a very big monastery. Behind that monastery up on the hills there were many

monks and nuns in retreat. Lots of caves and small retreat huts. Nobody was expecting

Patrul Rinpoche to come to Nangchen, they thought some old scruffy chap had come.

Because he didn't have any place to sleep he went at the steps of the monastery and

lied down to sleep at night. He sat up in the morning, put his hand out and started to

beg. He didn't have even shoes.

Anyway, Patrul Rinpoche went circumambulating the monastery and nobody knew he

was there. But up on the hills there was one old meditator, he came down to the

monastery. So he looked at Patrul Rinpoche but he didn't know who he was, just like a

scruffy old man. He said: "You scruffy old man, you haven't even got any shoes, where

you come from?" He said: "I've come from Sachuka." "Where are you going now?"

"Nothing certain, I'm not sure." "Have you got anything to eat or drink? Come to my

place, I've got something to eat and drink there, come with me." So they went together.

Then the old meditator from up on the hills said to Patrul Rinpoche in his disguise:

"You've got nothing to eat and drink, but if you stay with me, I'm just here one person

alone, you can cook my food and clean up the dust and make everything nice, and I give

you some food. So that's benefit for me and benefit for you. And if you've got any

interest I will give you some nice dharma teaching." Patrul Rinpoche replied to him: "Oh,


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if I can get some dharma teaching, it will be very kind of you. Please give me that." The

old guy said: "That's good."

So every day Patrul Rinpoche swept the floor and made everything very nice, put the

offerings on the shrine and made the old monk's food. Then the old monk said: "I shall

give you the teachings of Kunzang Lame Shellung by Patrul Rinpoche." The old monksaid to Patrul Rinpoche: "This teaching, The Words of My Perfect Teacher is very easy to

understand. As you are a beginner, it's very good for you to study this." Patrul Rinpoche

answered: "Thank you!" So then, every day he received the teachings from the Kunzang

Lame Shellung.

Then one day when he was arranging his offering bowls on the shrine, Patrul Rinpoche

put them in an odd fashion, he put one here and one there, slightly wrong. The old

monk came to him and said: "Thats not the way to put out the offering bowls, in the

Words of My Perfect Teacher it says they should be straight in a line like beads of a

mala. Like this!" Then Patrul Rinpoche said: "Oh, I'm sorry, sorry." And then he put them

back properly in a straight line.

Then became the 15 th day of the month, the full moon. Patrul Rinpoche said to the old

monk: "It's the full moon day, is it all right if I go out to do some circumambulation

around the monastery?" The old monk said: "Yes, it's very fine, you can do that. Go

quickly, come back quickly." "Yes, yes, oh, thank you." So he went round the monastery

circumambulating around it and in the monastery there was actually a student of Patrul

Rinpoche, the head lama of that monastery. The lama saw Patrul Rinpoche. He was so

surprised he ran down to the road and started prostrating to him and then a lot of

people turned up. "What's going on?" He exclaimed: "Patrul Rinpoche is here!" A big

crowd was gathering, all getting a blessing from him and prostrating. Patrul Rinpoche

was completely surrounded by all the people. So it went a bit late and it came about 12o'clock. Meanwhile up in the cave the old monk was thinking: "Hmm, it's 12 o'clock, he

hasn't come to make my dinner yet. This is really strange. What's going on? It's time to

make my food.

He went a bit down and looked down at the monastery what was going on. He looked

over in the distance and saw a big crowd of people. Whence he was going down, one

person was coming up. He said to the person coming up: "What's going on over there,

all the hustle and people?" The monk replied to him and said: "Patrul Rinpoche is in

town, everyone has come to meet him!" "My servant, he is probably down there in the

crowd as well having his head spun around by seeing Patrul Rinpoche!" So then he just

stood there where he was and waited. Then, in front of everybody Patrul Rinpoche said:"Oh dear, I'm late, I'm late, I've got to go now." So everybody followed Patrul Rinpoche

in a big line. He said: "Don't come, don't come. I've got to go quickly, don't follow me."

As Patrul Rinpoche was going up the side of the hill, the monk who was asked what was

going on said: "Look, look, as I told you, there is Patrul Rinpoche coming!" "Looks like my

old servant, what's that about then?"

So then he went slowly back to his retreat hut. He was sitting up there looking down.


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"That's my old man!" Finally he understood who the old man was. Then he was really

embarrassed. And he thought: "I'm stupid." He closed the door and the window

shutters, locked everything up and just sat inside the house. Patrul Rinpoche was

banging on the door: "Sorry, sorry, I'm late! Please open the door!" He went round to

the back and there was a little window open. "Sorry, sorry, I've lost the track of the

time, I'm late, let me in!" He wouldn't open up. So then Patrul Rinpoche run off to someother district.

So the old monk was really an idiot because he could have invited Patrul Rinpoche in

and got all the teachings he wanted.

If we have a lot of suffering and problems arising, we can take it as a very precious

opportunity. Likewise for us, we don't have to go and search for the suffering, we get it

for free, it comes to us naturally. That's very good, isn't it? We don't even pay a pound

for that suffering. We don't have to go and make any specific minute to experience the

suffering. It comes to us like a guest.

Well, if suffering and problems are good, how to practice with them? There are three

gradual steps. One is the loving-kindness and compassion. At the time one is

experiencing suffering and problems one needs to meditate on loving-kindness and

compassion. What does it mean to have them? - Everybody likes to experience

happiness and everybody wants to be free of the suffering. Everybody is like that.

Because you have that wish, then other people also have it. There is no difference at all.

Thinking that "May myself and all the sentient beings have happiness," that's the loving-

kindness. Having the thought that "May myself and all sentient beings be free from

suffering," that's compassion. If one has that attitude it's the opposite or antidote of the

ego-clinging.

That way one's mind becomes open and spacious and one has self-confidence, and

courage and peacefulness arise. What are the best helpers or friends for the loving-

kindness and compassion? - It's the suffering and problems. These problems are like a

wind for the loving kindness and compassion. If you have a mountain and forest and

there is a little fire there, if a big wind comes and blows on that fire, it will become very

big forest fire. Likewise, if you have lot of problems and suffering, these will become

friends for the practice of loving-kindness and compassion. They are like a wind which

blows up the loving kindness and compassion and makes it greater and greater.

Having the thought of loving-kindness and compassion, first of all one uses objects or

people who are very close to one, like one's family and friends, and after some time onegoes out to people who are further and further away from one. In the final stage one

can be meditating with loving-kindness and compassion for one's enemy. If one is able

to meditate like that with one's enemy, that's really good.

If you recognize the thought that I want to have the experience of happiness, I don't

want to experience suffering, then everybody else has the identical wishes but normally

we don't think about it. Normally we care about ourselves but not really about the other


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people. That's a mistaken view, isn't it? A normal everyday view. So then, why is the

normal view mistaken? - It's because there is no difference between us and other

sentient beings. Nobody wants to have suffering and everyone wishes to be happy.

I'm going to give you another example. You've got two big pins. If you put them to your

thighs and hit them with a hammer, would you rather have the right leg pierced with aneedle or the left leg? Are they both equally good or equally bad or is one better than

the other? Audience: Same.

Why are they the same? - The both legs will feel the same sensation. The sensation

permeates the whole body. Like that example, our desire to experience the happiness

and not wanting to experience the suffering is exactly the same as everybody else's

desire to experience happiness and not to experience suffering. So it's the same as

having the same feeling in both legs. So you don't have to think: "I want the best for me,

and everybody else can have the rest."

Whether one is able to make the loving-kindness and compassion into a very big loving-

kindness and compassion, depends on that, how one uses it with other people more and

more. If one can do that, then there is a great benefit achieved for oneself and also for

the other beings. First of all one has the loving-kindness and compassion which benefits

one's family and close relatives, then further on to that all of one's neighbourhood,

further to that the whole town or city, and then one goes on to the whole country. If

one can have loving kindness capacity for the whole world, then whole world has peace

and happiness. Loving-kindness is stronger than an atom bomb. Why is that? If

everybody in the world had loving-kindness and compassion in their mind, there would

be no work for the atom bomb. It's like getting rid of bombs. As many bombs as there

are, they would be useless.

However, if one doesn't practice loving-kindness and compassion much, then there isn't

much benefit arising either. If one can practice like this for some time in a continuous

fashion, finally one will reach to a level of limitless loving-kindness and compassion. If

one can meditate all limitless sentient beings with loving-kindness and compassion, one

has achieved the level of limitless loving-kindness and compassion. Based on that, one

can practise the bodhicitta mind. If you were to ask: "How can I practise the bodhicitta

mind?" I'm one being, who wants to experience happiness and doesn't want to

experience suffering. That's one single being. But the other sentient beings, who also

don't want to experience suffering and also want to experience happiness, they are

much more in number. Then one thinks that I want to bring all sentient beings to the

level of realising the nature of their mind, to be free of the suffering, to obtain all of thehappiness and ultimately bring them to the level of buddhahood. For that reason I'm

going to practise, I'm going to bring them to that state. That's what we call bodhicitta

mind.

So, there are three: Loving kindness and compassion, limitless loving-kindness and

compassion and the bodhicitta mind. These are three different stages. What are the

best friends or helpers for the bodhicitta mind? - The conflicting emotions and the mind


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poisons, they are the best friends.

If you were to sit in a nice beautiful house and never be for wanting food or drink,

always eating well and in comfortable situation thinking: "I'm attending the loving-

kindness and compassion" There is that situation, and the second situation is at he

moment when one is experiencing the problems, mind poisons and conflictingemotions. If one meditated in a peaceful place for hundred years or spent few years

with the conflicting emotions arising, then the few years of the suffering is much more

beneficial to one's bodhicitta-mind than hundred years sitting in a comfortable place

thinking "I'm practising bodhicitta."

I'm going to give you another story of the Patrul Rinpoche. He had a student, very proud

one. "I understand all about the loving-kindness and compassion, it's really easy." But if

you really think about, he didn't know how to do it. Patrul Rinoche said to him: "You

don't really understand this. You have to from the bottom of your heart learn how to

practice this loving-kindness and compassion, you have to understand it. Especially you

have to train loving-kindness and compassion with suffering and mind poisons." Thestudent thought: "I don't need to look at that, I understand that."

There is a place in Kham called Khatok. On the other side of a hill the sun was coming

up, the proud student went outside his place and was sitting just as the sun was coming

up. He covered his head with his zen (cloth) and just sat there with his eyes almost

closed. He was thinking: "I'm practising the loving kindness and compassion." The

student was sitting just by a stupa and then along came Patrul Rinpoche in his disguise

as the old man again, circumambulating the stupa. With a nice voice he said to the

proud monk: "Kusha-la (sir), what kind of practice are you doing? Please tell me." The

monk didn't see very clearly. "I'm practising the loving-kindness and compassion, hmm."

Patrul Rinpoche said: "That's very good, wonderful" He went around once more. Whenhe reached back to where the proud student was sitting he said again: "What are you

doing, what are you practising, please tell me." "I'm practising loving-kindness and

compassion," the student answered slightly irritated. Again the teacher went off round

the stupa and when he reached in front of the student third time, he said: "Oh, please

tell me what you are doing now, what are you practising?" "What's wrong with you? I'm

practising the loving kindness and compassion!!!" he shouted. Patrul Rinpoche said: "Is

that how your loving-kindness and compassion is?" Then the student cleared his eyes

and looked. He saw his own lama talking to him and he became really embarrassed.

Then he defeated his pride. Afterwards he got very good practice and very good activity.

He became a very good practitioner.

Now we are going to practise together the loving-kindness and compassion related to

the suffering and conflicting emotions. Whatever suffering you are particularly

experiencing at the moment, any of you, that's okay, that's fine. First of all one thinks

about that. If you don't have any suffering present in your mind now, just think about

suffering you had a while ago, some previous suffering. So then, think about your

suffering, present or past, and be relaxed. And you think: "How I have suffering now, all


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the sentient beings also have things like that, suffering like that. The sentient beings are

the same as myself." Then slowly one breathes inwards. On one's in-breath one is

breathing in all the sufferings, problems and negativities of sentient beings, they get

drawn into oneself and combine with one's own suffering. Think like that again and

again. You don't need to think about that when you are breathing out. Just on the in-

breath. (Meditation.)

Then one thinks in one's mind that all the suffering of sentient beings, what they are

experiencing, is combined with your suffering and it becomes like a representative of all

their suffering. May it come to my suffering and may I experience all of it. (Meditation.)

Then, because of the way one's attitude has changed one's suffering has become very

meaningful. Your suffering is purifying all your obscurations and accumulating merit,

therefore it is meaningful. One meditates on the suffering as joy. (Meditation.) Then,

don't think about anything to do with suffering, just sit relaxed. Don't do anymore

sending and taking, just shinay .

On the out-breath one feels that all of one's virtuous actions, one's positive energy goes

out combined with the blessings of the buddhas and bodhisattvas together. These come

out and dissolve into all sentient beings. One meditates like that and thinks this again

and again with the out-breath. You don't have to think about the in-breath anymore,

just think about the out-breath. (Meditation.) Again, just relax. If one has practiced the

nature of mind, rest in that. (Meditation.)

Now we are going to meditate together with the in-breath. One thinks that all the

negativity of sentient beings' suffering together with one's own suffering is absorbed to

oneself and on the out-breath one's positivity, one's accumulated merit together with

the blessing of the buddhas and bodhisattvas is going all out to sentient beings. So, oneis concentrating on both the in-breath with suffering and on the out-breath with all the

virtues. One is meditating on both of them. Do that, please. (Meditation.) Again relax. If

you know how to look at the nature of mind, then look, who is doing the sending and

taking. Look at that. See the naturally arising clarity. If one doesn't know about nature of

mind, then rest in the shine. (Meditation.) That's finished.

There are two kinds of methods in the sending and taking practice. One is focused based

on yourself, one is focused on your emotion and your suffering. Normally when we

practice tonglen, sending and taking practice, we take suffering to ourselves and we

don't focus on our emotions and our own suffering. We don't take in our own suffering.

We take something to ourselves. That's very good, wonderful, but there is one problem:if you have anger, if you have emotion and suffering, you cannot remember [the

remedy] quickly, maybe you forgot. Now this method is to focus on your own suffering

and emotions. Why? If you practise with that, later, if you have emotions and suffering,

it is easy to bring into practise and transform it. But you can do both ways and change

methods. Are there any questions?

Question: What if one is suffering from an acute mental illness and the suffering is too


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great to bear and use?

Rinpoche: Generally speaking, if one has a very strong, overwhelming emotion, very

strong mental problem, it is a bit difficult. If one becomes mentally ill, then it is very

difficult to use it. Then one's experience is like the baby-experience. When one becomes

crazy one doesn't realise or recognize that. If one is not clinically insane, even thoughone has a very strong mental problem, first when one practises like this, it doesn't seem

to be of any benefit, but over the period of time there will be a benefit arising from that.

The strength of the problem gets less and less.

If you can understand that you are crazy, then you are not really crazy. Then you are

able to practise. By doing bit by bit you get better and better. Be relaxed and peaceful

and there is great benefit from that. One recognises the essence of grasping and one

doesn't have clinging to the defilements.

Question: From time to time people become angry with me. It doesn't matter whether

the person is right or wrong, I don't know how to react to that. Could Rinpoche please

give me a method, how to deal with other people's anger directed towards me?

Rinpoche: It's based on having loving-kindness and compassion and also practising

patience. If you have patience one time and second time and if it doesn't help the third

time, then you have to think. Really looking at this clearly: who has got the fault here? Is

my fault greater or is that person's fault greater? If it is your fault, you can look a

solution to change that. If it's the other person's fault and he keeps on going with it, it

can't be very good for both of you.

Based on your loving-kindness and compassion you can challenge the angry person

because he has the fault and problems. For the benefit of the angry person himself and

also for other people's benefit, based on those two reasons, you can challenge him withloving-kindness and compassion. But you don't have to say bad words to him (you are

stupid and no good etc.). You have to give a reason: "This is not good what you did,

because" If he or she says lots of things back to you and doesn't listen, then you just

continue giving reasons. If you continue with logic and explain the harm, the angry

person has got many opportunities to realise their fault. Because you are practising with

patience, you have been patient three times, haven't you? By the time you have been

patient three times, maybe the other person will think: "Hmm, perhaps he has got a

point here; maybe it is true, what you say." If you dont have patience even one time

and you come together fighting, then you become closed. The other person is like a

closed door and you close your door as well. Neither of you can see their own fault. Theother guy thinks it's your fault and you think it's the other guy's fault. Then you collide. If

you practice first, second and third time, if the person still carries on being angry, then

you can challenge them with loving-kindness and compassion, and then they have many

opportunities to recognize their fault.

Snam deji tam-che zig-pa nyi


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tob-ne nye-pei dra nam pam che ne

tse ga na chi palab drupa ji

sipe cho-le dro va drol-var sho.

Due to this good karma, may I achieve omniscience,

Defeat the harmful enemies within me,

And free beings from the sea of existence

That is churned by the waves of birth, ageing, sickness and death.


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Session 3

Good morning, tashi deleg, bonjour. Yesterday it was explained how to reverse the

attitude of thinking that one doesn't want the suffering, and also how to practise with

joy when the suffering arises. Normally we don't want suffering and we think suffering isnot good. How to change that attitude, that has been explained. Having a lot of

pointless suffering, there is no benefit to that and also it can make the situation worse.

Why is there no benefit to worry? - If one has a method to get out of the suffering, to

remedy the situation, there is no point worrying about it. And if one hasn't got a remedy

for the situation, even then there is no need to worry about it, because the worry

doesn't make the situation better at all, doesn't affect it. That was the explanation given

yesterday. Worrying will make the situation worse: when the suffering arises, if you look

at it, even the suffering was a small one, worrying makes it bigger or worse. Then one

has many pointless worries, one worries for no purpose.

I know a man who normally is quite a happy person, he has a happy frame of mind, buthe said he had one problem. The difficulty he had was that the day and night went very

quickly. The moon goes round the earth very quickly and the earth goes around the sun

very quickly. So he thought like that. Maybe one day the earth and moon are going to

collide together. Who knows whether it's going to happen or not, but that's what the

man thought. So he could not sleep because of this worry. He said: "I'm normally quite

happy, but all my happiness was lost because I'm worrying about the planets colliding.

In the first case he just had an idea about that. Gradually he started to believe in it more

and made it worse. As I said yesterday, if everything is lost: your work or your money is

lost, you can always have a new plan and new idea and make a new work. If one doesn't

have suffering in one's mind, one can make a new plan and have a new idea, what to do.

If one worries about everything and becomes more and more tight in one's mind, then

one will be going crazy. So then the first topic or the first subject about changing the

attitude regarding suffering as unwanted, that has been explained.

The second subject to be discussed now is how to have joy when the suffering arises.

How can you say when the suffering arises there is any benefit for one? - If one has the

opportunity at that moment to transform it into a friend. It's said from the suffering in

the world there is one benefit for the human being who is suffering: they can have

another idea. Wisdom (prajna) can arise. They can have a new method to release the

suffering. If one is a practitioner, based on that one can eventually reach on the level of

buddhahood. If one is in the god realm, for example, they don't have any suffering. They

don't have any practise because of that. Just singing and dancing. And they stay there

millions of years. One day they die and there is no benefit to it, just singing and being

distracted all the time, what's the benefit of that? After dying they go down to the lower

realms. And then they go up and down again. When you say "cyclic existence," it means

going round and round, doesn't it. Maybe building up, going to the god realms, and then

going down to the human realms, animal realms, hell realms and then back up to


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humans', demigods' and gods' realms again. Round and round. It's like having a vase or

pot and a bee inside or an insect. You put the lid on and it goes round and round in the

vase. It's like that, the cyclic existence.

What's the way of liberating from that? - The view of the emptiness and the view of the

nature of mind. With those two one can gain freedom. We can free ourselves from thatbecause the basis of the cyclic existence is the grasping, so we can free ourselves from

the grasping and then one is freed from the cyclic existence, clinging to reality of things.

When one is liberated from grasping to reality, then one is freed from samsara, because

the essence of samsara is nirvana. But in the god realm they don't have any suffering, so

they can't practise. Without suffering they have nothing to base their practise on,

because there is no suffering, they don't do anything. They don't look forwards

supposing what's going to happen afterwards; with no suffering they have no idea of

looking in the future. The meaning of the practise is to free oneself from suffering and

based on the suffering one can gain freedom. But they don't have that. If one uses the

suffering one has, using the suffering both can be liberated - the suffering and oneself.

If one can transform the suffering, when it arises, into a friend, then that's the real way

of having joy when suffering arises. One transforms it into a friend. If one just has the

idea that when the suffering comes, I'm going to be happy, that'll be good, if one just

has the idea, there is some benefit, but not the real benefit. It's not full. Along with the

idea you also need to practise it. So, what is the practice? As was explained it's the

practice of loving-kindness and compassion. And then there is also another method.

Yesterday was explained the practice of loving kindness and compassion with suffering.

Today the practice of loving-kindness and compassion with the conflicting emotions will

be explained.

Whatever emotions one has in the mind: desire, anger, jealousy, pride and so on, in thebeginning when one is starting to practice with the emotions, it's not good to practise

with the too strong ones, you try to do small emotions and go on from that in a gradual

way. One doesn't have the ability to practise with the strong emotions at the first stage,

to do that so well, when one is starting the practice. There is a benefit from practising

with the strong emotion, but one doesn't really see a great result, so therefore don't try

with the big ones immediately. But if you want to, it's okay, it's not a fault. Although

there is a great benefit you don't see it yourself. If you begin with the small emotions,

then you start to see the actual benefit and result much clearer. Therefore it is

suggested that you practise with the small ones first.

Now we are going to practise together related to emotions. One seen whatever ispresent in one's mind at the moment: the anger, the jealousy, the desire, pride and so,

whatever is there, whatever is manifesting, you see that. (Meditation.) Realising that

whatever emotion one has in one's own mind all sentient beings also possess emotions

similar to that. Based on these emotions they all have suffering. Because of the

unbearable suffering the sentient beings have, one gives arise to compassion for them.

(Meditation.)


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Having compassion for the sentient beings who are also experiencing the emotional

states like oneself, one thinks that in my emotion, whatever it is, anger etc., may all of

the sentient beings' emotions enter that and you think it is combined together with your

emotions. One takes the emotions of all sentient beings and makes it one with one's

own emotions. Your emotion is like a representative of all the sentient beings' emotion.

On the in-breath one imagines that all the emotions of the sentient beings come ontobreath and combine with one's own emotion, and one is taking it all away from the

sentient beings on the breath, once one gently breathes in. Just think of the in-breath

and breathe in gently. One can imagine that all the emotions of the sentient beings has

a colour like a grey, dark smoke, one can think like that if one wants to. (Meditation.)

Then have a relaxed mind. For those of you who know how to look at the nature of

mind, one looks at the meditator of the sending and taking and keeps resting in that

state. Those of you, who don't know about the nature of mind, relax in the shine state.

(Meditation.) That's finished. Then one thinks that all the emotions of sentient beings

have been combined with your emotions and transformed. Thinking that one has taken

on all the emotions of the sentient beings, they are all free of those emotions now.

Now we are going to concentrate on the out-breath. Right now the taking in the

emotions of the sentient beings has generated lot of virtuous merit. Based on the vast

amount of merit one has accumulated now, one adds to that one's own merit and joy

what you already have and then all the merit and blessing and joy of the buddhas and

bodhisattvas. One thinks that all goes out through the medium of one's out-breath in a

very clear and bright light. One sends this out to all sentient beings and it dissolves into

them and they obtain all of that. So first, please relax. On the out-breath have that

feeling when one is breathing outwards in a gentle way. (Meditation.)

For those of you who know how to think about the nature of mind, one looks at thatwhich is sending and taking, and then one relaxes in that state. For those of you, who

don't know about that, one relaxes in the shin ay . (Meditation )

You can train in this way: When you breathe in, on the in-breath you think you are

taking in the emotions, when breathing out, you are breathing out the virtue. So that

one in-breath plus one out-breath are counted as one breath, one can feel that's one

cycle of breathing. If you can do like that, that's fine. You can do them separately, or you

can do them together, either way is fine. That completes the explanation how to relate

to the suffering and emotions with the loving-kindness and compassion and the

bodhicitta.

In Tibet there was the previous incarnation of Situ Rinpoche, Pema Wangyal Gyalpo. He

was very wrathful. Although his appearance was very wrathful, in his heart he was full of

compassion and loving-kindness. From time to time, if he needed, he shouted at

somebody and that person's defilements and their sickness and faults would be gone.

Sometimes he would even beat somebody and if they had a long term sickness which

couldn't be cured, it was gone when he hit them. Sometimes he would argue and shout

at somebody: "You haven't done this right!" It is said that if one is being very angry to


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somebody and shouting at them, if one has perfected sending and taking when one was

breathing in, one is taking in all their suffering and all their difficulty from that person,

and when one is breathing out and shouting, then one is sending out all of the virtue

and blessing. So if one has got that ability, one can do it like that. He said he could do it.

Some people who were very sick and had a long time disease, they went to visitprevious Tai Situ Rinpoche and they tried to upset him on purpose by doing some

mistake, so that he would become angry. They made a connection between themselves

and the lama. Even if the lama hits them, from that cause there would be a very good

connection arising. Because of the lama's shouting and beating, the disease can be

purified that way because of the connection. That's why, if someone attends a high

level, if they practise sending and taking, it is benefi

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Rinpoche Working With Emotions