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Why the Minimum Wage Should Be Raised
An increase in the minimum wage raises the standard of living for impoverished workers. The minimum
wage hasn't kept up with inflation consequently the pay of many workers, particularly those with families of
3 or more people, are now well below the poverty level.
Studies show graduated increases in the minimum wage have low impact on unemployment.
Additional income would be spent by consumers and would ripple through the economy if overall budgets
for salary were increased under a gradual increase in the minimum wage scenario.
Government expenses for social programs aimed at the poor would be reduced. This might result in slightly
lower taxes for other Americans.
Slightly more revenue for the government would be generated from payroll taxes for social security
Why the Minimum Wage Should Not be Raised
Possible Layoffs to workers at employers with a fixed compensation budget.
Employers might hire fewer workers in the entry level jobs needed to begin a career.
Provides an incentive for employers to invest in automated processes, technology and machinery to increase
productivity rather than human resources.
Prices might be increased to offset higher labor costs.
For small companies, already stressed owner/operators might take on more responsibility.
Wages for higher paid workers might be suppressed, and salary increases might be lower for those not
impacted by a higher minimum wage.
Alison Doyle
Now let’s go back a 101 years and read what “The Day Book” an adless daily newspaper had to say about
the wages in the Back of the Yards neighborhood in Chicago.
Issue
September 2015
Founded
1971
Retiree’s Newsletter
2 The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club September 2015
September 2015 The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club 3
4 The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club September 2015
BRITISH HUMOUR IS DIFFERENT
These are classified ads, which were actually placed in U.K. Newspapers:
FREE YORKSHIRE TERRIER. 8 years old, Hateful little bastard. Bites!
FREE PUPPIES 1/2 Cocker Spaniel, 1/2 sneaky neighbor's dog.
FREE PUPPIES. Mother is a Kennel Club registered German Shepherd. Father is a Super Dog, able to
leap tall fences in a single bound.
COWS, CALVES: NEVER BRED. Also 1 gay bull for sale.
JOINING NUDIST COLONY! Must sell washer and dryer $100.
WEDDING DRESS FOR SALE . Worn once by mistake. Call Stephanie.
FOR SALE BY OWNER. Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannica, 45 volumes.
Excellent condition, $200 or best offer. No longer needed, got married, wife knows everything.
Does Cursive Need to Be Taught in the Digital Age? News and Features from the National Education Association
By Cindy Long
Just like summertime temperatures, the cursive debate is heating up —
especially now that the newly established Common Core standards
don’t include the curly, looped handwriting style children have learned
in penmanship classes for generations.
In response, some state legislatures are seeking to make it compulsory,
like North Carolina where the senate passed a bill to make cursive a
requirement in public schools. Supporters of the “Back to Basics” legislation, which passed 37-8 and also
requires North Carolina students to memorize multiplication tables, said that cursive is important to know
even in the age of keyboards and digital devices.
“[Students] have the right to know the same types of things we knew when we were coming along,”
Republican Sen. Austin Allran, the bill’s sponsor, told the Charlotte Observer.
Those who argue for cursive insist that it teaches fine motor skills, is faster and more efficient than printed
handwriting, and that it enhances the creative process and has other cognitive benefits. In addition, many
historical documents will be illegible if people can’t read in cursive.
“Cursive writing is a long-held cultural tradition in this country and should continue to be taught; not just for
the sake of tradition, but also to preserve the history of our nation,” Jimmy Bryant, director of archives and
special collections at the University of Central Arkansas, told The New York Times.
Opponents say it’s time to let cursive be written into the pages of history.
“As we have done with the abacus and the slide rule, it is time to retire the teaching of cursive. The writing is
on the wall,” Morgan Polikoff, an assistant education professor at the University of Southern California’s
Rossier School of Education, argued in a New York Times opinion piece.
September 2015 The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club 5
While the topic is polarizing, there are some people who fall into the middle, like Kate Gladstone, a
handwriting expert and educator quoted on the topic of handwriting in publications as diverse as The New
York Times to the Journal of the American Medical Association.
Gladstone believes that cursive should be taught in our schools – but only to be read, not written.
“Reading cursive can be taught in just 30 to 60 minutes — even to five- or six-year-olds, once they read
ordinary print,” Gladstone says. “Writing cursive, however, takes much, much more time and effort to
master, even sketchily.”
Should educators take the time to teach children how to first draw and eventually to write these elaborate
letters when there is so much more substantive curriculum? Gladstone says no because it’s not a worthwhile
return on the investment of time and energy.
What’s more, most adults abandon cursive writing for a hybrid of mostly print letters joined occasionally in a
cursive style. In 2012, handwriting teachers were surveyed at a conference hosted by Zaner-Bloser, a
publisher of cursive textbooks. Only 37 percent wrote in cursive; another 8 percent printed. The majority, 55
percent, wrote a hybrid: some elements resembling print-writing, others resembling cursive.
“When even most handwriting teachers give up cursive, why would anyone else continue to exalt it?”
Gladstone asks.
Handwriting matters, she says, and offers fine motor skills and cognitive benefits whether in cursive or not.
But she insists that children should be taught efficient handwriting, which research shows is most legible and
efficient when it combines print, or manuscript, and cursive letters.
Cursive isn’t required for legal documents, either. In state and federal law, Gladtone says, cursive signatures
have no special legal validity over any other kind.
So is the writing on the wall for cursive? Neatoday.org asked its Facebook fans – K-12 educators from all
over the country. We got an overwhelming response – almost 800 comments. The verdict? Keep cursive
writing in schools. Here’s what some of our fans had to say:
Get the high stakes testing out of elementary schools, and we’ll have time to teach cursive writing
again!
The Constitution of the United States is written in cursive. Think about that. I make my kids at least
learn to read cursive.
Not everyone has a computer and printer.
Absolutely teach cursive. Teach everything possible, exercise those brains, grow neurons, every little
bit of knowledge helps us THINK!
Handwriting is much more personal and I still prefer it on cards and in mailed letters. I use it for
people I really care about on special occasions and other appropriate times.That being said, most of
my day-to-day communication, including this post, is on a laptop.
For most of us, cursive is faster than printing. Speed is often the difference between getting the facts
down correctly during note-taking, and trying to figure out or remember what the first part of the note
referred to. Since note-taking remains part of the academic experience, and notes are often
shared/compared, it’s nice to have consistency for readability–especially for one’s self.
I’m glad I learned cursive and know how to teach it. It is much faster for taking notes in a class and
you can write really classy thank you notes. Manuscript is important, too, for clarity in filling out
forms. Learn both and don’t always rely on a keyboard.
6 The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club September 20115
2015 Dues – (January – December 2015) $5.00
MAKE CHECK PAYABLE TO: LAKESIDE PRESS RETIRED EMPLOYEES CLUB
MAIL CHECK & THE ABOVE APPLICATION TO OUR TREASURER
GENE BENES
P.O. BOX 652
HINSDALE, IL 60522-0652
Your Name:______________________________________Spouse’Name___________________
(Please Print) Address:_____________________________________________ Phone No._________________
City and State:_________________________________________ Zip Code:________________
RRD Division:_________________________________RRD Depart./(s):__________________
Year and Month You Retired:_____________________Date of Birth:____________________
E-Mail Address:________________________________________________________________
Note: Surviving spouse is eligible for membership
MEMBERSHIP APPLICATION
THE LAKESIDE PRESS RETIRED EMPLOYEES CLUB
PLEASE FILL IN THE BLANKS ABOUT THE AREAS AND DEPARTMENTS REPRESENTED IN OUR CLUB
Members Note:
Your dues are good for one year, January 1st till December 31
st
September 2015 The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club 7
News from in and around
Chicago
John Hormanski Chicago…ME, RE, FMS, BE
This past July 4th
weekend was on the warm side and had the windows open because the air conditioner was
not working (more on the AC later). About 2 in the morning we awoke to people talking and what sounded
like a chainsaw. We could see the street in back of us was full of emergency vehicles. The house on the next
block and two doors down from us was on fire. Their daughter smelled smoke and closed her window
thinking someone had a fire pit going. When more smoke filled the room she woke her father and they called
911.With some fireworks still going off before we went to bed we figured the fire was caused by the
fireworks. There was not a lot of structural damage but the smoke saturated
everything in the house and it was not habitable. A large yard waste bin
provided by the disposal service was full of grass clippings and ignited. As
vegetable matter decays, the bacteria generates heat, similar to what occurs
during composting, eventually, over a long period of time--three weeks or
a month--spontaneous combustion can occur. The hotter the outside
temperature, the quicker combustion can happen.
Last year in July our furnace blower failed. A mouse wintered in the AC
condensing unit and chewed some wires that caused the transformer to fail.
Mice and other critters have to constantly chew on anything and
everything, including electrical wires, (they get a "CHARGE" out of it!) so
that they can keep wearing down their front teeth that grow at a very fast
rate. So I bought some mouse traps and put them in the garage - they are
still there in the bag.
This July a chipmunk chewed through high voltage wires in the condensing unit. Sad to say the
little fellow was fried. Next to the condensing unit and 25 ft. along the side of the house were
raspberry bushes. Every time I cut the grass I could see critters scurry away from the
sound of the lawn mower. These bushes provided a cover for critters like chipmunks and
rabbits, but no more. My wife pulled out every last raspberry bush and hopefully this and some hardware
cloth will keep us cool in the summertime.
Look for an upcoming announcement regarding the
2016 Spring Luncheon which will be held on
Wednesday, May 11th, 2016!
Agenda: 10:00 AM – Festivities start 11:00 AM – Brief business meeting, nominate and elect officers. 11:30 AM – Lunch, don’t forget to bring your picnic baskets. 12:45 PM – Bingo, horse shoes and long drive golf. 3:00 PM – Raffle
8 The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club September 2015
Bemis Woods is located on Ogden
Avenue just east of 294 tri-state.
As you turn into Bemis Woods
take the first road to the right and
you will see shelter 5 on the map
below. We have this shelter
reserved for the picnic.
Pack your picnic basket and join us for a fun filled day of activities and friendship! Bingo, horse shoes and even a long driving contest for the golfers. You may even win a door prize just for attending!
The 34nd
Annual Retired Employees’ Picnic
Wednesday, September 9th
Bemis Woods, Western Springs, IL
Note! Labor Day is Monday, September 7th
September 2015 The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club 9
Victor Laurinaitis Chicago….ME, Bedford Park
I planted flowers for my mom when I was a boy and saw the joy that it brought her. Years later my dad came to live with me and he planted berry bushes and vegetables. He taught me the necessary steps to making things grow. With the arrival of children, we bought a home with a good size yard. We planted fruit trees, berry bushes and started a vegetable garden. There was a maple tree growing in the yard and eventually it shaded most of the yard which made the vegetable garden unproductive. I made trips to various nurseries to find plants that would do well in the shade. My wife really loved flowers
and wanted some to grow in sun so decided to cut down the tree. After RRD closed, I had plenty of time so I started experimenting with several types of plants and decorative grasses. Still kept the fruit trees and berry bushes (gooseberries, red currants, raspberries and blackberries). Hating to cut grass, I drew a plan to brick some of the yard and create an area for a fire pit, barbeque grill and made some planters with landscaping bricks. With the techniques I learned from the nurseries, I chose to plant mostly perennials. Spending time in my garden is very relaxing. My garden was chosen to be in Oak Lawn’s Most Beautiful Garden Walk twice.
AND THE SHOW STILL GOES ON.
At the June folding meeting, the members
of the "We Dance for Free" group,
George Wenrich, Cindy Hormanski and
Joe Kozar, were persuaded to pose for one
more picture.
We sure know how to have fun!
10 The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club September 2015
September 2015 The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club 11
CHICAGO, July 10, 2015 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) -- R.R. Donnelley & Sons Company (RRD) announced
today that it will report second-quarter results and host a conference call on Tuesday, August 4, 2015. The
conference call and live webcast will begin at 9:00am Eastern time. The live webcast will be accessible on
RR Donnelley's web site: www.rrdonnelley.com.
CHICAGO, July 23, 2015 (GLOBE NEWSWIRE) -- R.R. Donnelley & Sons Company (RRD) today
announced a regular quarterly dividend of 26 cents per common share. The dividend is payable September 1,
2015 to stockholders of record as of the close of business on August 14, 2015.
The European Union announced it is trying to find new ways to standardize practices in Europe.
The Commission reached an agreement whereby English will be the official language of the EU rather than
German which was the other possibility.
Conversion to European English
As part of the negotiations, Her Majesty's Government conceded that English spelling had some room for
improvement and has accepted a five year phase-in plan that would be known as "Euro-English".
In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this will make the sivil servants jump with joy. The
hard "c" will be dropped in favour of the "k". This should klear up konfusion and keyboards kan have 1 less
letter.
There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year, when the troublesome "ph" will be replaced
with "f". This will make words like "fotograf" 20% shorter.
In the third year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be ekspekted to reach the stage where more
komplikated changes are possible. Governments will enkorage the removal of double letters, which have
always ben a deterent to akurate speling. Also, al wil agre that the horible mes of the silent "e"s in the
language is disgraseful, and they should go away.
By the fourth year, peopl wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing "th" with "z" and "w" with "v". During ze
fifz year, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords kontaining "ou" and similar changes vud of kors be aplid
to ozer kombinations of leters.
After zis fifz yer, ve vil hav a reli sensibl riten styl. Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it
ezi to understand ech ozer. Ze drem vil finali kum tru! And zen world!
Turn in your news items, wedding anniversaries, photos & news of interest. Please e-mail notes & photos or as a typed or a hand written note by US mail to:
John Hormanski 13153 Sparrow ct Homer Glen, IL 60491
(708) 307-4830
12 The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club September 2015
ANNIVERSARY LUNCHEON
November 11, 2015
at Alta Villa Banquets 430 North Addison Road Addison, Illinois 60101
Note: Bar opens at 11:00 a.m. Luncheon will be served at 12:30 p.m.
DUES MUST BE PAID TO ATTEND LUNCHEON
Make Luncheon Checks Payable To:
JERRY MALECKI
Mail To: JERRY MALECKI
20W315 BELMONT PLACE ADDISON, IL 60101
(630) 543–4549
The deadline for reservations is: November 1st
No reservations accepted after November 1st and positively none will
be accepted at the door! Your cooperation will be greatly appreciated!
PLEASE TAKE NOTICE If you appear at the luncheon and our records show no payment was made, you will be asked to pay at the door.
Money will be returned if a payment appears after the luncheon
DO NOT SEND DUES TO LUNCH CHAIRMAN – SEND THEM TO GENE BENES
Your Name_______________________________________________ Phone Number ( )_________________ Address ________________________________________________________________ Apt.No.______________ City __________________________________________________ State_________ Zip Code________________ R.R.D. Division ________________________________________________ R.R.D.Dept._____________________ Years of service at R.R.D._______________________________________ Date Retired______________________ Spouse or Guest’s full name___________________________________________________________________ ___________________________________________________________________________
Price per member, spouse or guest is $15.00 each x no. of persons = $__________Total
September 2015 The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club 13
In Remembrance
Harold F. Britton Chicago….Corporate Legal
Harold F. Britton age 83 of Chicago, beloved husband of Marguerite (nee
Phillips); loving father of Cynthia (Scott) Tomeczko Britton, Marjorie (Chris)
Karabas, Christine (Michael) Valadez, John (Fiance Elena Chugai) Britton,
James (Tanya) Britton and the late Joseph Britton; cherished grandfather of
Angelina, Molly, Luke, Chloe, Phoebe, Maggie, Cameron, Patrick, and Sean; dear brother
of Mary (Mark) Abler and Thomas (Tina) Britton, late Eugene (Donna) Britton and the
late Elizabeth Britton. Mr. Britton served in the US Air Force and was a retired attorney at RR Donnelley
and Sons.
Charles Rosenfelder Chicago…. D-RF-Mfg. Engrg
Charles "Chuck" Rosenfelder, age 95, of Glen Ellyn, passed away peacefully on June 14, 2015.
He was born in Chicago and also lived in Western Springs and Wheaton. Beloved husband for
71 years of the late Dorothy, loving father of Terry (Chris), Jill (Joe) Vavrek, John (Sharon), and
Mark (Lida); proud grandfather of Jennifer, Eric, Michael, Julie, Jackie, Lisa and Sarah; and great-
grandfather of 5. He was a World War II Army veteran and was a printing executive with R.R. Donnelley
and Sons for over 50 years.
Frank D. Montague Chicago…. Corporate IT
Frank D. Montague, 80, passed away on Friday, June 12, 2015. He was a loving husband to,
Pat Montague (nee Honer) and cherished father to: Brian, Lisa and William Montague.
Adoring grandfather to: Michelle, Daniel, Lauren, Sophia, Chad, Atalissa and Laina. You
always knew that Frank Montague would be at the folding meetings and attend the Spring
and Fall Luncheons. Driving in all the way from Dyer, Indiana, Frank would walk into the
meeting with a smile on his face and a large box of bakery goodies in his arms. A quiet man
and a gentle man. Frank will certainly be missed by all. Rest in peace Frank.
Bill Wash Chicago….RCM
Bill Wash, 87, of Downers Grove, passed away on July 1, at home,
surrounded by some of his loving family. Bill was born on May 21, 1928 to
Andrew and Katherine, nee Gil, Wash in Chicago. Bill attended Crane
Tech H.S., Served in the U.S. Coast Guard, and worked for 40 years as a Photo-
Engraver at R.R. Donnelley and Sons, retired in1987. Bill was the beloved husband
of Joan, nee Konieczny and the late Constance, nee DeLeo; loving father of Karl
(Randi), Ken (Mary), Karen (Brian) Slusar, Marilyn (Larry) Rybowiak and William, Jr.
(Cheryl); cherished grandfather of Eleven and great-grandfather of five; caring step-
father of Ken (Susan) Sidorowicz; step-grandfather of four, and step-greatgrandfather
of 7; fond brother of the late Frank, Rose Dzingel and Mike. Bill was an avid White Sox Fan, Golfer,
Fisherman a true Mr. Fix-it and an all-around nice guy. We have lost our Patriarch and will miss him dearly.
He was an inspiration to so many people in so many ways.
14 The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club September 2015
Francis Willard Creswell Lancaster…. LAC
Francis W. Creswell, of Manheim, passed away on Thursday, July 9th, 2015
at Hospice & Community Care, Mount Joy. Francis also known as "Bugs"
and "Doc" was born in Lancaster to the late Willard Carick James and Clara
(Henry) Creswell. Francis was preceded in death by his wife, Erla Mae (Good) Creswell.
Francis graduated in 1950 from Hershey Industrial School, now known as Milton Hershey
School. He served on the alumni board of Milton Hershey for many years. He served his
country in the Korean War with the US Army from 1953-1955 Francis retired from RR
Donnelley & Sons after 42 years of dedicated service. He also previously worked at Rudisill. Francis loved
the game of Quoites so much he built a Quoites game in his back yard and brought in clay from the
Susquehanna River. He was active in the Senior Games and played and managed the softball team for his
church. He was a former member of the Gaelic American Society. He was an active member and past board
member of Lancaster Grace Evangelical Congregational Church. He was a founding member of the Boy
Scout troop at his church and Sunday school teacher for 33 years.
He is survived by three sons, James "Jim" John Creswell, husband of Betty, of Ephrata, Paul David Creswell,
of Lancaster, Calvin Lee Creswell, (retired Military) of Wilkes-Barre, six grandchildren, Crystal, James,
Stephanie, Virginia, Missy and Greg, five great grandchildren. He is al survived by a brother, Richard Devon
Creswell, husband of Joan, of Lancaster.
James Allen Bauch Chicago….WB-ME Danville….KDE
James Allen Bauch, 67, died Friday, February 27, 2015. Born November
13, 1947 in Chicago, Illinois, he was the son of the late Lloyd and Collette
Bauch. He retired as a Bindery Specialist after 37 years at R.R.
Donnelley Co. Jim was the widower of Kathleen Mardula Bauch and was a member of
Ss. Peter and Paul Catholic Church. He served in the US Army during the Vietnam War
and enjoyed annual fishing trips with friends. Jim loved young people and was always
willing to offer friendship and advice to them, whom all called him "Mr. B" and looked
up to him as a father figure and friend. He was a man of his word and always truthful, a
straight shooter who did not gossip or put up with unnecessary drama. Jim had a great mind for mathematics
and figuring out how to create, he enjoyed woodworking. He was always giving advice such as "It's easier to
get forgiveness than permission." or "If you're not going to do it right, just don't do it at all." He was a hard
worker and loved everyone with all his heart. Jim is survived by his two daughters, Jennifer Bauch-Satterly
of Danville and Cheryl Bauch of Junction City; three grandchildren, Zach and Karrah Satterly and Madeline
Hrapek; a sister, Darlene (Rich) Kaszuk of Alsip, Ill. and a brother, Don (Denise) Bauch of West Chicago,
Illinois.
William Paulson Chicago….APO
William Paulson (Pulsakowski) age 90, late of St. John and formerly of Dyer and Calumet City,
passed away Saturday, July 17, 2015. Survived by his children: James Paulson, Linda (Tom)
Bolan, Daniel (Pam) Paulson, Cheryl Moreland and Gayle Day; 10 grandchildren: Jacob,
Kristine, Daniel, Heather, Kim, Jessica, Tara, Brandon, Zachary and Kelly; and great grandson Aiden.
Preceded in death by his wife, Marion Eileen; brothers: Chester and Joseph; and sisters: Virginia Stredzinski
and Florence Boone. WWII U.S. Army veteran and retired employee of RR Donnelly Co. Bill was a quiet
man who loved his family dearly. If you knew him you would love him. He will be greatly missed by his
family.
September 2015 The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club 15
Sherrill Mark
Sherrill Lee (Baldry) Mark, age 75, beloved wife of Fred Mark (Dept. C and D)
passed July 23, 2015. Sherry was a great mother and was so loved by her 4 children,
Lynne Marie, Scott, Mike and John, her 10 grandchildren and 2 great grandchildren
and of course her crabby old husband of 55 years. Fred and Sherrill celebrated their
55th
wedding anniversary while she was in the hospital where she had been for the last
6 weeks. She was a strong woman and put up one heck of a fight. Her grandchildren
were all able to see her and say good bye. Sherrill loved all sports and wildlife. She
had been a dog trainer and loved her own dogs very much. Sherrill served as co-hostess for the Lakeside
Press Retirees Club and will be missed by all. What a lovely lady she was. Rest in peace, Sherrill.
Robert J. Ruppert Chicago….RE-SD-C-RO-B
Robert J. Ruppert, 88, passed away July 20, 2015 at Woodmark of Sun
City, AZ after a long illness with dementia.
Robert is survived by his loving wife, Barbara, of 61 years. He is also
survived by 5 children: Susan Ouderkirk of St. Paul, MN; Kathleen Devereux of Mesa,
AZ; Brian Ruppert of Batavia, IL; Martin Ruppert of Douglas, AZ and Paul Ruppert of
Surprise, AZ; 6 grandchildren: Daniel and Adam Ouderkirk; Sean and Christopher
Ruppert; Dominique and Mikayla Devereux.
Robert was born in Chicago, Illinois and worked 42 years at R.R. Donnelly and Son's
Company. After retirement Robert and Barbara moved to Sun City, AZ in 1988.
Robert was active in the Sun City Organ Club, Sundial Lapidary and Marionette
Leathercraft.
Robert was a Veteran of World War II and a past commander of Sun City American Legion Post 101.
Robert has donated his brain to the nationally acclaimed Sun Health Research Institute in the hopes that they
will find a cure for Alzheimer's, the disease that finally claimed him.
Our thoughts and prayers go out to their family and friends
The Lexington House will give way to a used car showroom.
One of the Southland’s best known banquet halls,
host of weddings, anniversary parties, special
events, bridal and baby showers will shut its doors
in August, ending a 45 year run in hickory Hills.
Lexington House, which was opened at 7717
W.95th
St. in 1970 by Jack McGann, will close
after its final event on August 22nd
. Co-owner
Lorry Fitzpatrick said she and her two sisters
agreed to sell the banquet hall after they were
approached by DriveTime Automotive Group.
16 The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club September 2015
“They made us an offer and we decided to take it,” she said. “We’re all 60 something. Our children have all
gone their separate ways and none wanted to continue.
Fitzpatrick said it was a bittersweet decision to sell the banquet hall. “My sister Barbara was married here,”
she said. “Many of our customers have had all
kinds of family parties here.” “ People who
worked here as bus boys would have their
wedding receptions here.”
Hickory Hills Mayor Howley thanked the
family for their contributions to Hickory Hills
since 1968. “The Lexington House put Hickory
Hills on the map. It is an iconic landmark. It
saddens me that it will be gone,'' he said. "It
was a rite of passage for teen-age boys to
become busboys at the restaurant. In high
school, you either worked at the Lexington
House, the Sabre Room or the Delphian House.
Sharon L. Filkins and Bob Bong
D.I.Y
If you’re like most homeowners, you’re afraid that many repairs around your home are too difficult to
tackle. So when your furnace explodes, you call in a so-called professional to fix it. The ‘professional”
arrives in a truck with lettering on the sides and deposits two assistants whose combined IQ’s would still be a
two-digit number, and they spend the better part of the week in your basement whacking objects at random
with heavy wrenches, after which the “professional’ returns and gives you a bill for slightly more money
than it would cost you to run a successful campaign for the U.S. senate.
And that’s why you’ve decided to start doing things yourself. You figure, “If those bozos can fix my furnace,
then so can I. how difficult can it be?”
Very difficult. In fact, most home projects are impossible, which is why you should do them yourself. There
is no point in paying other people to screw things up when you can easily screw them up yourself for far less
money.
How to Make a Board
Most of what I know about carpentry, which is almost nothing, I learned in shop. I took shop during the
Eisenhower administration, when boys took shop and girls took home economics--a code name for
"cooking". Schools are not allowed to separate boys and girls like that any more. They're also not allowed to
put students' heads in vises and tighten them, which is what our shop teacher, Mr. Schmidt, did to Ronnie
Miller in the fifth grade when Ronnie used a chisel when he should have used a screwdriver. (Mr. Schmidt
had strong feelings about how to use tools properly.) I guess he shouldn't have put Ronnie's head in the vise,
but it (Ronnie's head) was no great prize to begin with, and you can bet Ronnie never confused chisels and
screwdrivers in later life. Assuming he made it to later life.
Under Mr. Schmidt's guidance, we hammered out hundreds of the ugliest and most useless objects the human
mind can conceive of. Our first major project was a little bookshelf that you could also use as a stool. The
idea was that someday you'd be looking for a book, when all of a sudden you'd urgently need a stool, so
Photo by Jeff Vorva
September 2015 The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club 17
you'd just dump the books on the floor and there you'd be. At least I assume that was the thinking behind the
bookshelf-stool. Mr. Schmidt designed it, and we students sure know better than to ask any questions.
I regret today that I didn't take more shop in high school, because while I have never once used anything I
know about the cosine and the tangent, I have used my shop skills to make many useful objects for my home.
For example, I recently made a board. I use my board in many ways. I stand on it when I have to get socks
out of the dryer and water has been sitting in our basement around the dryer for a few days, and has
developed a pretty healthy layer of scum on top (plus heaven-only-knows-what new and predatory forms of
life underneath). I also use my board to squash spiders. (All spiders are deadly killers. Don't believe any of
the stuff you read in "National Geographic".)
If you'd like to make a board, you'll need:
Materials: A board, paint.
Tools: A chisel, a handgun.
Basically, there are four different kinds of tools:
Tools You Can Hit Yourself With (hammers, axes).
Tools You Can Cut Yourself With (saws, knives, hoes, axes).
Tools You Can Stab Yourself With (screwdrivers, chisels).
Tools That, If Dropped Just Right, Can Penetrate Your Foot (awls).
Get your board at a lumberyard, but be prepared. Lumberyards reek of lunacy. They use a system of
measurement that dates back to Colonial times, when people had brains the size of M&Ms. When they tell
you a board is a "two-by-four", they mean it is NOT two inches by four inches. Likewise, a "one-by-six" is
NOT one inch by six inches. So if you know what size board you want, tell the lumberperson you want some
other size. If you don't know what size you want, tell him it's for squashing spiders. He'll know what you
need.
I have a radial arm saw, which is like any other saw except that it has a blade that spins at several billion
revolutions per second and therefore can sever your average arm in a trice. When I operate my rad- ial arm
saw, I use a safety procedure that was developed by X-ray machine technicians: I leave the room. I turn off
all the power in the house, leave a piece of wood near the saw, scurry to a safe distance, and turn the power
back on. That is how I made my board.
You should paint your board so people will know it's a home carpentry project, as opposed to a mere board. I
suggest you use a darkish color, something along the lines of spider guts. Use your chisel to open the paint
can. Have your gun ready in case Mr. Schmidt is lurking around.
Once you get the hang of using your tools, you'll make all kinds of projects. Here are some other ones I've
made:
A length of rope.
Wood with nails in it.
Sawdust.
If you'd like plans for any of these projects, just drop some money in an envelope and send it to me and I'll
keep it.
Once you've finished your board, you can move on to a more advanced project, such as a harpsichord. But if
you're really going to get into home carpentry, you should have a home workshop. You will find that your
18 The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club September 2015
workshop is very useful as a place to store lawn sprinklers and objects you intend to fix sometime before you
die. My wife and I have worked out out a simple eight-step procedure for deciding which objects to store in
my home workshop: My wife tells me an object is broken. For instance, she may say, "The lamp on my
bedside table doesn't work." I wait several months, in case my wife is mistaken. My wife notifies me she is
not mistaken. "Remember the lamp on my bedside table?" she says. "Yes?" I say. "Still broken," she says. I
conduct a preliminary investigation. In the case of the lamp, I flick the switch and note that the lamp doesn't
go on. "You're right," I tell my wife. "That lamp doesn't work." I wait 6 to 19 months, hoping that God will
fix the lamp, or the Russians will attack us and the entire world will be a glowing heap of radioactive slag
and nobody will care about the lamp anymore. My wife then alerts me that the lamp still doesn't work. "The
lamp still doesn't work," she says, sometimes late at night. I try to repair the lamp on the spot. Usually, I
look for a likely trouble spot and whack it with a blunt instrument. This often works on lamps. It rarely
works on microwave ovens. If the on-the-spot repair doesn't work, I say: "I'll have to take this lamp down to
the home workshop." This is my way of telling my wife that she should get another lamp if she has any
short-term plans, say, to do any reading in bed.
If you follow this procedure, after a few years you will have a great many broken objects in your home
workshop. In the interim, however, it will look barren. This is why you need tools. To give your shop an
attractive, nonbarren appearance, you should get several thousand dollars worth of tools and hang them from
pegboards in a graceful display.
The history of the toilet
The toilet was invented several hundred years ago by Sir Robert Toilet, an Engishman who was trying to put
an end to war. At the time, everybody went to the bathroom out-doors, which as you can imagine, was fairly
disgusting. So countries were always trying to go to the bathroom in other countries. Thousands of, say
Frenchmen would suddenly appear in Germany, relieve themselves, and stride back to France, snickering;
the next day even greater numbers of Germans would retaliate. Eventually the dispute would escalate into a
war, which was even worse, because of the horses. Then, thankfully, Sir Robert had his idea: Instead of
going to the bathroom on the ground in other countries, why not go to the bathroom in a toilet? This would
put an end to needless wars and give everybody a chance to read magazines. This idea caught on, and today
very few wars are caused by the French and the Germans going to the bathroom on each other’s land, which
is not to say that they don’t want to.
Excerpts from “The Taming of the Screw” by Dave Berry
Three Useful Tips for Unclogging a Clogged Toilet
Before you attempt to unclog the toilet, make sure that
it is a toilet that you are responsible for. If it is in a
public restroom, or someone else’s home, don’t give it
another thought. Just sidle out of the room as if
nothing has happened.
If the clog is caused by something soft, such as a
corsage, you can dislodge it simply by firing a .22-
caliber pistol into the toilet.
For tougher clogs, such as turtles or jewelry, you’ll
need to flush a lit cherry bomb, which you can obtain
from any reliable teenager.
Warsaw
"Nifty Fifty Plus" *******************
3rd Tuesday of each month at:
Golden Corral
US 30 & end of E. Center St.
For information Contact:
Gwen Snyder (574) 267-8015
Turn in your news items, wedding anniversaries, photos & news of interest
Please e-mail notes & photos or as a typed or a hand written note by US mail
To:
John Hormanski 13153 Sparrow Ct.
Homer Glen, IL 60491
(708) 307-4830
September 2015 The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club 19
Lancaster Retiree Events ***********************
Meetings are held at the
East Plant, Lancaster, Pa.
1st Tues. of each month,10A.M.
For information Contact:
Sam Girard (717) 392-2319
George Mavros (717) 291-9889
***************************
Breakfast Fellowship
"The Centerville Diner."
2nd Thursday of each month at 9 A.M.
*************************
Bowling Social Event at
Leisure Lanes 2nd Wednesday of each month
at 1:00 P.M.
*************************
Lancaster Home Page
www.rrdretirees.com
NOTICE !!!
We need members
who can help with the
Newsletter mailing
Please Contact
George Wenrich
(708) 532-8230
Harrisonburg
Retiree Events *****************
Meetings are held at the
WOOD GRILL BUFFET
1711 RESERVOIR STREET
HARRISONBURG, VIRGINA
Luncheon starts at 11:00 A.M.
the 2nd Tuesday during months
of;
March 10
May 12
July 14
September 8
November 10
For information Contact:
BOB BLOOMQUIST
Retirement Breakfast **************
Held the 1st Thursday of each
month at8A.M.
Tom's Restaurant
894 Burnham Ave,
Calumet City, IL. 60409
(708) 868-2600
For Information Contact:
Art Sobczak.. (708) 474-9495
SAVE THESE DATES!
Mark your calendars for these
upcoming events!
**********************
34th Annual Picnic
Wednesday,
September 9, 2015 Bemis Woods Grove
Western Springs, Illinois
**********************
Fall Luncheon
Wednesday,
November 11, 2015 Alta Villa Banquets
Addison, Illinois
(Veterans Day)
20 The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club September 2015
Last year we took our grand kids to Lockport World War II Days. They especially enjoyed the battle which included a bombing run by vintage World War II aircraft. After the battle they were allowed to go on the battlefield and collect and keep as many spent rifle shells from the battle they could find. Walking through the various camps of the allied and axis forces made you feel as if you were living the moment. Some members of the camps spoke the language of the country they represented. If you missed the Legacy Girls at the last spring luncheon they will be performing both days at 1:00 p.m.
September 2015 The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club 21
RR Donnelley
4101 Winfield Road
Warrenville, IL 60555
Address Service Requested
The Lakeside Press Retired Employees’ Club Newsletter
