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Resource Article LibrarySupplements to Support Youth Leaders

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Table of Contents

1. Combatting Digital Burnout in Teens

2. Handling “That Parent” with Wisdom and Grace

3. Growing Up with an Addicted Parent

4. Recognizing Signs of Trauma

5. Creating Safety for Teens with Trauma

Resource Article Library

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Resource Article

Combatting Digital Burnout in TeensAs many schools and churches approach the one-year mark of being remote, digital burnout is becoming more prevalent. The once novel appeal of staying home has lost much of its charm as families try to work, learn, and socialize from home. Though Americans were already in a digital age, the ramifications of COVID-19 have only increased the average amount of time spent on screens.

The American Academy of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry estimates that, on average, teens spend around nine hours a day on screens. That’s up from seven hours daily in 2019. It’s no secret that excessive screen time can cause headaches, worsened eyesight, disrupted sleep, and reduced physical activity. But how can this be combatted when most or all of teens’ worlds are currently happening on a screen?

Below are some ideas to continue connecting with teens in your ministry while combatting digital burnout.

The 10:2 ruleConsider using the 10:2 (or 5:1) rule, which is particularly helpful when teaching virtually. For every 10 minutes of information or content you give, allow your students 2 minutes to share, engage, or discuss the information. By using this simple rule, teens can be more active in their learning and think how the content applies to their lives, rather than passively absorbing information (or zoning out altogether).

Timed BreaksWhen teaching or facilitating Bible studies online, mini breaks give teens a chance to refocus on the curriculum and to process what’s already been discussed. Giving them short breaks throughout the lesson helps them to stay engaged and absorb more information. Here are some ideas for how to incorporate these breaks.

• Trivia challenge: Between each step of the curriculum, invite students to answer 15 seconds of rapid-fire Bible trivia questions to help everyone stay engaged. Here’s a link with suggested trivia questions.

• Bio breaks: Halfway through the lesson, consider offering a “bio” break for a couple minutes. You can set a timer for a couple minutes and allow students to step away to use the restroom, get a drink of water, or stretch.

• Show-and-Tell: Ask students to go and grab an object from their house that fits a random category: something blue, something weird, something furry, something metal, etc. They must be back in their seats with the object in less than 30 seconds. Let two or three students show what they found and describe it.

Physical BreaksMost people can’t learn and engage when passively sitting and looking at a screen. This is especially true for teens who look at screens all week for school. Plan for opportunities for teens to get up and move around. Encourage teens to stand or move while listening to your teaching. While their movement may make it feel like they’re more distracted, chances are, they’re actually more focused.

• Exercise challenges: Get students to do as many repetitions of an exercise or movement as they can—jumping jacks, squats, etc. If your class has students with mobility issues, think of ways activities can be modified to include everyone (such as stretching exercises or exercises that can be done while seated).

• Mini dance parties: Turn on some upbeat Christian music for 60 seconds and allow students to dance or jump around. Depending on students’ abilities, this can be modified to dancing while standing up or sitting in a chair.

Combatting Digital Burnout in Teens // Resource Article


Distanced ActivitiesDepending on the restrictions and weather in your area, incorporating in-person (but socially distanced) activities can make a significant difference in digital burnout.

• Outdoor meetings: If weather is good, consider meeting for a lesson at a park, your church parking lot, or some other space that allows for socially distant gatherings.

Even if you can’t do an in-person lesson, consider adding social activities throughout the week for teens to engage with each other and feel connected beyond a screen.

• Outdoor games: If you have a park or parking lot easily accessible to you and your teens, you can offer outdoor games or activities that can be done at a distance. Invite teens to play kickball, dodgeball, soccer, pickleball, or any other game they may enjoy.

• Hikes: Never underestimate the power of walking and talking! It’s so simple, and yet it creates space for in-person connection and conversation. A quick Google search of trails or paths in your area can help facilitate a safe way for teens to gather and connect.

• Community clean-up: Give students a chance to gather and talk while serving their community. Bring trash bags, gloves, and tools so you can pick up litter around a local library, school, community center, or park. Be sure to get permission before you head out to a location and ask students to meet you there.

• Worship wall: Let teens have a chance to legally spray-paint a “wall” with worship symbols and messages. See if any members of your congregation would donate an actual wall for this purpose. Or set up a pretend wall using large pieces of cardboard, sheets on clotheslines, or some other materials.

Small GroupsWhile most people need some level of engagement with what they’re learning, teens especially value learning through discussion and engagement with their peers. If it’s possible and safe in your area to meet in physical small groups throughout the week, you can consider doing a short virtual class meeting or posting a video to share content and then provide the opportunity for teens to go deeper into discussion in an in-person small group later in the week.

If it’s not possible for your class to do in-person small groups, you can also consider using a break-out room feature on your video chat software. After delivering the content of the lesson, you can break students out into virtual small groups to share thoughts, discuss questions, and read Scriptures together. Whatever the format, small groups are a great way to provide teens with a way to go deeper into what they’re learning—and to feel connected with others.

Play PowerDon’t underestimate the power of play. For many teens, any kind of organized discussion online still will feel too much like virtual school. Instead of teaching in a traditional way, try playing together and inserting biblical thoughts or questions along the way. Listen for conversations that naturally arise and note what students find most interesting to talk about.

• Online gaming: It’s highly likely you have some gamers in your group. Let them lead the way. Ask them for ideas on games your group can play or watch together or games that can be played together through apps (such as Among Us or Minecraft).

• Online competition and fun: Try a competition such as a Wiki race, playing Trivial Pursuit (or another trivia game) with teams, or a virtual escape room. Or just have some fun with themed events, such as a Bob Ross painting party, watching an old, cheesy movie together online and inserting witty comments, or having a karaoke challenge. If you have Hamilton fans, pick a local news story out of the paper and challenge the students to write and perform a musical for it in the time you have online.

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Personal PresenceRemember that what your students are probably craving most right now is real interactions with human beings who don’t live in their own houses. Something as simple as making phone calls or dropping by their homes to say hello can mean a lot to them.

• Invitations: If you struggle with teens showing up for online gatherings, try making the effort to call or text each one individually to invite them. Or send out a fancy written invitation for a special event. Then text group reminders the day of the event or about an hour before. Use memes to create visual reminders that teens may notice more than just written words.

• Mix it up: Try posting a short IGTV teaching video or devotion each week and then following that up with an in-person small group session later in the week.

• Snail mail: Send out or drop off actual cards with funny or inspiring messages. Drop off cards and balloons for birthdays or other special milestones or achievements.

• Snack attack: If you can, drop off snacks or even a meal for your students once a week or once a month. If you have a very large group, just plan to do random drops, keeping track of which drops you’ve made so you can reach all the students over a reasonable amount of time.

• Major awards: Pick up random, super cheap items from your local thrift store. Spray-paint them gold or silver, if desired. Present them in person at random times and for random students as “Major Awards” for anything from actual good deeds the student did or character traits they have, or for things like “Best Driveway” or “Plainest Door.”

More than ever before, perhaps, this is a time that challenges all of us who lead youth and children to be creative and adaptable. Situations around the country tend to change frequently. And situations in your students’ own homes may be pretty changeable and uncertain too. As much as you can, provide a consistent presence for them and be supportive of them. And don’t forget to ask them: ask them what they want to do, what they need, what they are worried about, and what would help them the most right now. And ask their parents too. No matter how separated we are, we all need each other.

By Micah Renck, Laura Derico

MORE THAN EVER BEFORE, PERHAPS, THIS IS A TIME THAT CHALLENGES ALL OF US WHO LEAD YOUTH AND CHILDREN TO BE CREATIVE AND ADAPTABLE.


Resource Article

Handling “That Parent” with Wisdom and Grace

Even in church settings, youth leaders will likely encounter “that parent” at some point in their ministry: the parent who ignores their child’s behavior, who doesn’t want to listen, who expects different standards for their child. In a stressful year of navigating a global pandemic, virtual or hybrid education, and virtual or hybrid church, parents are under increased stress. That stress can come out in the ways they interact with you and approach conversations. While difficult parents are certainly a challenge, there are some simple strategies you can use to make interactions with these parents a little easier.

Approaching Hard Conversations There’s no way to know what hidden factors may be at play in the situation. There could be a learning disability or difficult home situation affecting the teen’s behavior. Approaching the conversation from a place of wanting to understand, rather than to blame, can make a world of difference in a difficult conversation. No one likes to feel attacked or accused. So, present the information as an approachable conversation, rather than a lecture on what’s going on with the teen.

Don’t be threatening

When approaching parents about their teen, it’s important not to come across as threatening. Coming across as an angry teacher will likely turn the parent off from the conversation before it even begins, which doesn’t benefit you, the parent, or the teen. Instead, ask God to help you show the parent that this conversation comes from a place of wanting the best for their teen.

Use “I” statements

Present the information in a way that the parent is able to hear what you’re saying. This includes speaking in “I” statements (“I notice that Taylor has a hard time focusing during the breakout portion of the class.”) rather than accusatory statements (“Taylor is causing problems in the class.”)

Try “I wonder” statements

Unless you’re a professional, it’s impossible to diagnose the underlying cause of a teen’s behavior. Rather than saying, “I think Angie has ADHD because she doesn’t pay attention,” try instead, “I notice that Angie’s had a hard time focusing lately. I wonder what’s making that hard for her.” Phrasing things as wondering allows parents to share the “why,” rather than hearing you try to diagnose the teen’s behavior.

Avoid “always” or “never” statements

In any relationship, “always” or “never” statements feel like placing blame, rather than opening up a conversation. (“You never take out the trash!” “You always say you’ll pick up the tab next time.”) Because these statements can feel accusatory and cause the listener to shut down or be defensive, it’s best to avoid them. Instead, you can try “I notice” and “I prefer” statements (idea from Pete and Geri Scazzero’s, Emotionally Healthy Relationships). “I notice Josh is distracted by his phone during class, and I prefer for everyone to stay engaged.”

By simply shifting the way you approach the conversation, it allows the parent to hear what you’re saying, rather than feeling attacked or shutting down. It also allows you to be in a better space to listen to what the parent may share with you. This language shift can help you better reflect the grace and compassion of Jesus to parents.

Handling “That Parent” with Wisdom and Grace // Resource Article


When the Conversation Isn’t Going Anywhere“That doesn’t sound like Jordan.” “Carlos is a good kid!” “Sarah wouldn’t do that.” Statements like these are a sign that a parent isn’t ready to hear what you have to say about their teen.

For any number of reasons, despite your efforts to have an approachable conversation, some parents will be defensive. “How dare you say that about Kim!” “I can’t believe you’d accuse Sam of being a bad kid!”

Not all parents will be willing or equipped to listen and candidly discuss their teens’ behavior. Perhaps they’re not ready to admit the behavior to themselves, or perhaps they think the behavior reflects badly on them. Regardless of the reason, some parents won’t want to hear what you have to say.

It’s important to recognize when the conversation isn’t going anywhere and to walk away peacefully, rather than continuing a discussion with someone who isn’t ready to talk.

Dealing with That Parent’s Response When parents aren’t in a place to listen, their responses can be dramatic. They might complain to the senior minister. Perhaps they will want to remove their teen from your class.

It’s important for you to respond in healthy ways:

• If you think the parent will be speaking to someone else at your church about the behavior, let that person know ahead of time. That way, they can be prepared for the conversation instead of being blindsided.

• Don’t take the parent’s response personally. If you approached the conversation in a kind and godly way, you shouldn’t take ownership for their irrational response.

• Don’t fight back or argue with the parent.

• Always be gracious and kind to the parent.

• Don’t treat the teen differently because of the parent’s behavior.

• Avoid gossiping about the parent or teen.

• Pray for both the parent and the teen, asking God to bring wisdom and healing in the situation.

• If you haven’t already done so, revisit your church’s discipline policies and make sure you are on the same page with other leaders about how to handle this situation or future ones.

Difficult conversations with parents are a part of youth ministry, but approaching them with wisdom and grace can make a major difference in the outcome.

By Micah Renck

WHILE DIFFICULT PARENTS ARE CERTAINLY A CHALLENGE, THERE ARE SOME SIMPLE STRATEGIES YOU CAN USE TO MAKE INTERACTIONS WITH THESE PARENTS A LITTLE EASIER.


Resource Article

Growing Up with an Addicted Parent

Children of parents suffering from addiction likely have deep wounds. While addicted parents love their children, their addiction often destroys their ability to parent responsibly. The children rarely come first in these types of homes because of how powerful addictions can be. A teen with an addicted parent might have a past full of broken promises, and he may have suffered severe neglect and abuse from one or both parents.

Truth Is Difficult

Truth might be particularly difficult for children of addicts. Their chaotic world often teaches them to lie in order to be safe. For example, a teen whose father was out late drinking may tell others that her father is sick, not that he’s suffering from a hangover. Or, a teen may tell others that her bruises are from a fall, not that her mother beats her when she’s high.

This habit of lying often transfers into other areas of life as well. It’s not that the teen is bad—simply that he has learned to lie as a way to survive. Teens who don’t get attention at home sometimes also invent stories when with their peers to make their lives sound better than they are. This is both a way of creating an alternate reality as a coping mechanism and a way of getting the positive attention they’re lacking at home. A teen may struggle to be honest, especially in new environments, until he knows he’s safe. He may have learned to be a chronic liar in order to survive his home, but as a safe adult, you can help him discover the freedom of truth.

The Burden of Blame

Blame is also a burden for children of addicts. These children may often feel that everything is their fault. “If I were smarter, my mom wouldn’t need to drink.” “If I were more helpful at home, my dad wouldn’t numb the pain with drugs.” These types of inward messages may convince a teen that her parents’ failures are her fault, rather than understanding that her parents need help. No matter what goes wrong, these teens have been conditioned to blame themselves.

As a leader, you can help them put blame in perspective. If a teen says he’s bad, show him where he’s good. If a teen says she’s stupid, show her how intelligent she is. Go beyond just telling them that what they’re saying isn’t true. Instead, give them examples of why it isn’t true. Or look for opportunities to praise them for specific acts and attributes. For example, if a teen says, “I’m stupid,” don’t say, “No, you’re not!” Instead, be intentional about involving that student in discussion and then later say, “I really appreciated hearing your thoughts in our discussion today.” Or ask a student for help to figure out an issue and then praise them afterward: “You’re a good problem-solver to think about my question like that. I like how your brain works.” These types of statements help teens develop resiliency and confidence in their own abilities.

Life Is Serious Business

For the child growing up in a family affected by addiction, life can feel like a very serious business. Much of her time may be spent just surviving. The burden of responsibility for her parents and siblings intrudes on her free time and uses up her energy. Even when she’s in a safe place, she may have difficulty enjoying herself and relaxing. You can help these hurting teens by creating fun activities for teens and a safe place for them to build community and share ideas. This is important for all teens, but especially for those from difficult homes. These teens especially need to be able to relax and relate to others.

Growing Up with an Addicted Parent // Resource Article


However, it’s important to note that not all kids with addicted parents coming from rocky homes. Some teens from well-off homes end up with substance abuse problems as well, because their parents are high-functioning prescription drug addicts or alcoholics. They certainly have trauma, but these kids don’t need to spend a lot of time just surviving. Instead, they may cope through having fun, spending money, and partying. Life is serious for these teens as well, but not necessarily because they are burdened with responsibility.

You can help teens heal from trauma of difficult homes through your loving, consistent presence. Affirm their value and encourage their efforts toward growth. Each step they take in the light of God’s love is another step away from the hurt they’ve endured.

Building Trust

Building trust is key when interacting with teens who have endured any sort of trauma, but it’s especially critical for children of alcoholics or drug addicts. Be extremely intentional with any promise you make, as many hurting teens have experienced broken promises from parents or authority figures. Rather than saying, “We can come back to this activity at the end of class,” instead say, “If there is time at the end of class, we can come back to this activity. If not, we can make time for it in a future class.” These simple shifts allow teens to see that you take your commitments seriously. You can help teens to build trust by making only promises that you can keep.

Important Note to Leaders

According to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, children of parents with addictions are more likely than their peers to develop substance abuse issues at young ages. If a teen is coming into youth group smelling like weed or alcohol, or behaving as though drunk or high, it’s a possibility (though definitely not a certainty) that they have a parent at home who is demonstrating that behavior for them.

While you may be able to recognize warning signs in your teens, it’s important to remember that you shouldn’t diagnose anyone or make assumptions about the cause of their behavior. Unless a teen tells you explicitly about their situation (and unless you verify the situation with the teen’s family), you cannot know for sure about his or her home life. It’s most important to love them and point them to Christ. If a teen does share what’s going on at home, be sure to keep that information in confidence from other teens. The student has likely faced embarrassment about the situation, and he or she needs to know you can be trusted. If you suspect a teen is in danger from abuse or neglect, be sure you are aware of your reporting responsibilities according to state law and the policies of your ministry leaders. And pray hard for that teen and the whole family!

By: Carol Stigger

YOU CAN HELP THESE HURTING TEENS BY CREATING FUN ACTIVITIES FOR TEENS AND A SAFE PLACE FOR THEM TO BUILD COMMUNITY AND SHARE IDEAS.


Resource Article

Recognizing Signs of TraumaTrauma is anything that makes children or teens feel worthless, unlovable, and insecure. A teen can be traumatized in many ways: abuse, neglect, death of a loved one, parental divorce, and abandonment can cause trauma. Even moving away and feeling uprooted from everything familiar can cause trauma. All these things can make teens feel helpless, overwhelmed, and afraid. The ACE index, found on Harvard’s website, reveals many causes of adolescent trauma. Being equipped to recognize signs of trauma for what they are, rather than seeing them as deviant or rebellious behavior, helps leaders to better love and serve teens in their ministries.

Signs and Symptoms of Trauma

Teens can’t cope with trauma as well as adults, so they may show their trauma through poor behavior, aggressiveness, or withdrawal. Below are some of the more common signs of trauma:

• Not thinking before acting

• Not responding to touch, sound, and smell

• Frequent illnesses

• Repetitive movements, such as rocking or head-banging

• Unexplained fear, extreme temper tantrums, or aggressive or disruptive behaviors

• Self-destructive behaviors, such as substance abuse, promiscuity, suicidal tendencies, self-mutilation, or poor relationships

The Ability to Cope

Coping abilities vary widely among teens. There is no typical way young people handle trauma, but there are many factors that can influence their ability to cope. These include:

• Temperament and intelligence

• Parental relationships and other support

• Independence level

• Involvement in hobbies, sports, and church

• The age when the trauma took place

• The event that caused the trauma and its frequency (For example, verbal abuse over many years may traumatize a teen more than a fire that destroyed her home.)

• Who or what the stressor was (For example, if a child was abused by his father, it may affect him differently than if he was abused by a stranger.)

Trauma and Development

Did you know that 90 percent of a child’s brain is developed by the time he or she is 3 years old? We learn fastest when we’re young, yet many people think that babies are too young to be affected by bad experiences. In fact, the opposite is true: the younger a child is when she experiences trauma, the more at risk she is for social and emotional difficulties later in life. Understanding the effects of trauma on brain development is important when working with teens.

Recognizing Signs of Trauma // Resource Article


When a teen has any experience, a connection is made in the brain. The brain grows as it makes connections. Connections become stronger when repeated. For example, if a baby cries and his mother soothes him every time, the baby learns to trust her. The trust connection is strong. Connections become weaker or disappear when they’re not repeated. For example, if a baby cries and her mother only soothes her some of the time, the baby doesn’t learn to trust her mother. The trust connection isn’t strong.

There are very important times in the brain’s development. This means that the brain is ready to learn a skill at a certain time. If that skill is not taught or experienced at that best time, it becomes harder to learn that skill. The child can still learn the skill, but it will be more difficult to make the connections.

When a child, whose brain is developing, experiences a lot of trauma, the connections for healthy relationships, healthy emotions, and learning are underdeveloped.

Teens who have experienced a lot of trauma may not have the brain connections needed to develop in a healthy way—they may struggle with relationships because the trust connections have not been made, they may have trouble controlling their emotions, or they may have learning difficulties. When caring adults provide these teens with healthy experiences, places of safety, and consistent structure, they have a chance to begin to make healthy connections and develop as they should.

Normal vs. Abnormal Responses to Trauma

All of us experience frightening things from time to time, but once the experiences are over, we calm down. We begin to think about our situation, instead of simply responding, because we know we’re now safe. When teens are exposed to traumatic experiences that leave them feeling overwhelmed and helpless, they may have trouble shutting off that automatic response. They may also be more likely to move immediately to the automatic response instead of using reason. There are a number of reasons this may happen:

• They still feel like they are in danger, even when they are safe.

• The teens have overactive automatic responses to fear or anxiety, so may misinterpret experiences. For example, when adults approach them, they may feel threatened.

• When perceiving threats, they may quickly move into the fight, flight, or freeze response.

• Because the part of the brain that controls automatic responses in these teens is overactive, their ability to think clearly is weakened.

Strategies for Working with Teens in Trauma

Though every teen’s situation will be slightly different, it’s important to establish an environment around teens in trauma that assures them of their safety. This will take extra commitment, energy, patience, and grace from you. Training in trauma-informed care can also help you to develop effective strategies, such as those listed below:

• Pray for and with the teen.

• Encourage the teen to express her thoughts and feelings. (Be sure to respect what is shared.)

• Be understanding of poor behavior, but do not approve of it.

• When appropriate, give physical comfort, such as smiles and hugs.

• Do not make unrealistic promises, such as “Soon you’ll be better.” This may not be true, which may cause you to lose the teen’s trust.

• Answer questions honestly.

• Ensure predictability.

• Model appropriate behaviors, such as controlling anger and practicing forgiveness.

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Though it may not always be easy, ministering to traumatized teens is a wonderful way to show them the love of their Heavenly Father in tangible ways.

By Janette Pepall, Michelle Pendzimas

UNDERSTANDING THE EFFECTS OF TRAUMA ON BRAIN DEVELOPMENT IS IMPORTANT WHEN WORKING WITH TEENS.


Resource Article

Creating Safety for Teens with Trauma

Teens who have experienced trauma are hurting because their world hasn’t been safe. How can leaders create an environment where teens feel secure?

When a teen exhibits reactive behavior (such as becoming suddenly argumentative, displaying inappropriate emotion for the situation, or withdrawing from the group), look at what happened right before and then consider the response. Does the behavior fit the situation? Was the behavior more or less intense than appropriate? Once you’ve identified the trigger situations, you can better understand the resulting behavior and provide more helpful responses.

A trigger can be anything that reminds the teen of the trauma. Traumatic memories are stored in the brain as emotions and pictures. So, triggers can be smells, facial expressions, seasonal changes, food, hunger, or loud voices.

Common Triggers for Traumatized Teens

Teens often display behaviors that make it seem like they’re trying to get attention or get out of something they don’t want to do, but teens who have a traumatic history may actually be having a traumatic response. Learn what triggers the traumatized teens in your group. Below are some common examples of triggers:

• Sudden change in the environment: The teen is sensitive to changes, such as a change in venue or redecorated space, new activities, or even a change in the weather.

• Transitions: The teen has difficulty moving from one activity to another.

• Loss of control: The teen doesn’t have a choice in what’s happening, which makes her feel vulnerable.

• Confrontation: An adult questioning the teen’s behavior causes him to respond.

• Relationships: If adults have hurt the teen, she may be triggered by adult relationships.

• Rejection: A teen feels rejection (whether real or perceived) from an adult or peer.

• Sensory stimuli: The room may be too loud, or a certain smell may trigger a memory of trauma, causing him to feel overwhelmed.

If you know the trigger, you can often prevent, or plan for and respond to, these situations with success. For example, if a student reacts to unexpected loud noises, something as simple as giving them warnings when music will be played or a loud game will happen can disarm the trigger. Creating safety is a very powerful tool in the lives of teens.

Creating Safety for Teens with Trauma // Resource Article


Fight, Flight, or Freeze

When a teen experiences trauma, his automatic response to stress and fear may become overactive and easily triggered. A teen may have trouble turning off the part of the brain that tells the body to fight, flee, or freeze in stressful situations. This response protects the teen when he’s in danger, but some young people respond this way even when they’re not in danger.

• Fight: This may look like hyperactive behavior. The teen may use angry words or be aggressive. He or she may refuse to follow directions or defy an adult. Even behaving in an overly silly manner is a fight response.

• Flight: The teen might separate himself from the group and avoid activities.

• Freeze: The teen may daydream, become mentally remote, become forgetful or distracted, or completely stop responding.

Understanding the trauma response can equip you to provide safety and support to help teens to respond in healthy ways. Reassuring them that they’re safe, being consistent, and setting clear limits are helpful tools.

Create a Safe Environment

Whenever possible, be consistent. Teens feel safe when they know what to expect from the adults in their lives. Trauma is triggered by the unknown and unexpected. Consistency creates predictability and feelings of safety. When things need to change, give the teens plenty of information to help them deal with the change.

Provide transition warnings when change is coming. For example, if you need to start class at 10:00 a.m., inform teens at 9:55 that it’s almost time to find their seats for class. Telling them what to expect gives them a sense of control. Suddenly being asked to stop an activity and move quickly to something else or being asked to do something unexpected can trigger explosive behavior.

Create Safe Relationships

Teens begin to heal through safe and trusting relationships. Be there, be consistent, and try to understand what they are feeling. Spend time getting to know your students, taking time to talk with a teen and find out about his interests. If the teen seems to resist the relationship, move slowly, and don’t push too hard. Eventually, the teen will see you as a safe adult. Then the relationship can blossom.

Important Note to Leaders

While you may be able to recognize signs of trauma in your teens, it’s important to remember that even if you discern brokenness, you shouldn’t diagnose teens or make assumptions about the cause of their behavior. Some of the behaviors described in this article can also be seen in teens who have developmental delays or other differences. Unless a teen or the family tells you explicitly about their situation, you cannot know for sure about that teen’s past. It’s most important to love them and point them to Christ. If a teen does share what’s going on, be sure to keep that information in confidence and don’t share it with other teens. The student needs to know you can be trusted. If you think a teen is in physical danger, though, be sure to contact the appropriate authorities.

By Janette Pepall, Michelle Pendzimas

TEENS BEGIN TO HEAL THROUGH SAFE AND TRUSTING RELATIONSHIPS.

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