Regular Joe KC Feb 2014

8/12/2019 Regular Joe KC Feb 2014

1/9

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2/9

Jay Kerner

Publisher/Persecuted Worker

You might remember the movie Horrible Bosses from a couple of years

ago. Three people scheming to kill each others problematic employers. It waslled with over-the-top clichs of just about every lousy workplace encounter.

Its a universal condition, ripe for parody. Cartoons and comics havecertainly had their share. Dagwood has Mr. Dithers. Homer has Mr. Burns.

Dilbert has the pointy hair guy.

I, myself, have had mostly good ones with a few stinkers mixed in. So Iwasnt too worried when I accepted a new position starting the rst of the year.

Id spent a little time over the past few months, in what you could call in -

formal interviews with the young lady Id be working for, and found her to be

quite charming. But that was before I became her personal assistant.

Even before I walked into the workplace that rst ofcial day, I knew I was

in for it. I heard her screaming before I made it through the door. She wantedsomething badly, but didnt know what. It was my job to read her mind when

she couldnt, and respond to her every whim.

I tried all the tricks in my bag (which is substantial), but to no avail. Inally had to take the easy way out and let her see the bottle. The screaming

stopped instantly and the laser beam focus latched on to its target, tracking it asI walked across the room.

The new boss likes the bottle. Like every two hours! I hate to resort to it,

but it does mellow her out and buys you some temporary peace and quiet.

My boss is a creature of extremes. She can just be all smiling at you.Youre thinking, Ohhh, she likes me. But in a ash the eyebrows make an

angry V and I know the terrible scream is coming right behind as sure as the

thunder follows the lightning. I scramble looking for the answer to whatever iscausing her this particular moments grief. But sometimes theres just no satis-

fying her and theres nothing I can do but let her cry herself out.

Sure, four month old babies are like that, but thats no excuse. Im tellingyou this little girl is a 2-foot tyrant. Shes the bossiest boss Ive ever had. (At

least since her mother was this age.)When we found out she was coming, we started daydreaming, trying to

gure out how to get our hands on her as often as we could.

The kids came up with a daycare plan that was a mix of family care com-

bined with the licensed place down the road. We were going to get a day or

two a week and were glad to get them. But once the baby was born, suddenlythe idea of handing her off to strangers wasnt so appealing. So just after the

holidays I started my new 4 days a week schedule.

Holy Crap! Early mornings. Packing a lunch. Commuting.Bottles, diapers, burping... the whole deal.

Its kind of my thing. Ive invested a lot of babysitting time for family andfriends over the last few years, polishing my chops.

Modern moms and dads have new ideas about things and I have to respect

their wishes and learn some new tricks in spite of my age in dog years. I, inturn, share some age old techniques Ive picked up along the way.

This isnt uncharted territory. Grandparents have been helping with theirgrandchildren since probably forever. Adam and Eve no doubt had their hands

full with Cains unruly brood. These days far too many grandparents are raisingtheir childrens children, when the parents cant or wont.

I know how lucky I am to have this opportunity. For this special time withmy special girl. Its a big-time adjustment to my world, but I cant think of

anyone else Id rather do it for.

So, forgive me if I dont make it to every event that I used to. Im tired.My boss had me doing 14lb. dead lifts all day and theres dried spit up in my

hair and down my shirt. Weve rocked, weve patted, weve sung the entiresilly song repertoire. I need a shower and beer (sometimes simultaneously) and

some Zs. Morning comes quick and Ive got a bossy boss waiting to boss me

around some more tomorrow. I couldnt be happier.

Meet the New Boss The RegularJoe is a community

contribution paperoriginally started in

St. Joseph, Missouri

in 2007 and sinceexpanded to Missoula,Mt, Austin,Tx, and

now to the KC North-

lands.We tend to be for things as opposed to against

things. (Personally, were against all kinds of

things, but you wont see much of it here.) Ourslogan, celebrating the coolest local stuff, is also

our mission. We love to turn people on to things.Bands. Books. Movies. Food. Ideas! (Not so

much the avor of the day. That stuff you can nd

all over.We prefer cool stuff you might have missed.

We dont do news so much, but you might occasion-

ally read about a really good slice of pie.

We lean heavily towards locally-owned and

operated. We do business locally whenever possible

and will pay a reasonable premium to do so when

necessary.We print submissions of most any type, but

favor funny over hostile, and solutions over com-

plaints.

Were looking for writers who will work forcheeseburgers. Were looking for advertisers who

dont need rate cards or demographic reports to

decide where to invest their ad dollars.For those that get on board early, we offer

exclusivity. For most business categories, if yourein, your competitor isnt!

Thanks for picking it up! We hope you like it,

and that youll look for it every month.

What the heck is The Regular Joe?

Contact The Regular Joe

816-617-5850

[email protected]. Box 1304 St. Joseph, Mo. 64502

Read us online

www.urjoe.com


3/9

Danny R. PhillipsRegular Joe Music Guy

Valentines Day is the most wonderful 24 hours of the year if you havesomeone to spend it with, that is. For those who waltz through life alone, either

by choice or circumstance, it can be pure Hell; no one to talk to, no one to sharedreams with, no kissin, no huggin no turtle dovin. If your plans include a

night of watching Netix in your underwear with a 6 pack of tall boys or a tube

of cookie dough as you contemplate your lowly fate, may I offer a soundtrack to

accompany you on your 24 hours of loveless wandering?Talking Heads- Girlfriend is Better: Actually my wife is better.

The Vandals- I Have a Date: How about that? Even a snot nosed poppunker can get a date. Feel like a loser yet?

Elvis Costello- Indoor Fireworks: From the brilliant King of America,

Indoor Fireworks is the story of a couple that cuts straight to the part where

everybody loves to cry.The Velvet Underground- Candy Says: The story of Warhol superstar

Candy Darling, a woman that becomes disillusionedwith who she is. Sadly, Darling left this world at 29

in 1974 from lymphoma.Nick Drake- Listen to anything the man ever

wrote. Suggestions: Northern Sky Pink Moon

Fruit Tree.The Everly Brothers- Crying in the Rain:

Because it is the Everly Brothers. Do you really needanother reason?

Big Star- Thirteen: possibly the greatest song

on young love ever written. Uncertain, longing, pureperfection.

Jerry Lee Lewis- She Still Comes Around:

Released in 1969 at the dawn of The Killers country

music career, She Still Comes Around is seemingly

autobiographical: a wild man on payday that has awoman with a heart of gold at home waiting to forgive

his wrongdoings.Annie Lennox- Why: One of the most beauti-

fully heartbreaking songs of the last 30 years by one ofthe worlds best voices asking How many times do I

have to try and tell you/that Im sorry for the things Ivedone? A question that has been asked a million times

with no set answer.Buddy Holly- True Love Ways: A love song

penned for his young wife Maria shortly before his un-

timely death on February 3, 1959, True Love Ways isthe sound of someone who truly, completely loves and

misses his wife. Heart wrenching, beautiful and lonely.Willie Nelson- Wonderful Future Behind Me;

This may be the saddest song in a career built on a foundation of laments.Nelson puts all his loss and regret into a garden, into a man looking back, never

looking forward, wanting only to trade his future for his past.Paul Westerberg- Dyslexic Heart: Not every song about love has to be a

bummer, some can be about confusion.The Saints- Lipstick on Your Collar: A punk rock cover of a Con-

nie Francis tune doesnt sound like a good idea on paper but it works. Where

Francis did the typical 1950s shucky dern take on a cheating s ong, Australian

band The Saints rips through it like monsters tearing the cheater from stem to

stern.

So there you have it, as you look upon Valentines Day I hope my list talks

you back from the ledge and reminds you that, as long as you have music, youhave love.

Alone for Valentines Day?

Let Music Soften the Blow


4/9

Lisa Erdman

The Take 2 Review Chic

The rst few times I saw this trailer, I

thought it to be quite silly. I knew this movie

wouldnt be for everyone, maybe not even me.

I was very anxious for the screening, so when

the day nally arrived I took my daughter Jen,

one of the most open minded moviegoers I

know. I hope d she would help me see things in

the movie I might have otherwise overlooked.

And that she did.

This movie isnt for everyone. You have

to get technology and live an active online

life or none of it will make sense. You have to

have an open mind when it comes to matters of

the heart. You also have to be a dreamer. Spike

Jonze takes us on a most amazi ng journey in

Her

Set in the Los Angeles of the slight future,

Her follows Theodore Twombly, a com-

plex, soulful man who makes his living writ-

ing touching, personal letters for other people.

Heartbroken after the end of a long relationship,

he becomes intrigued with a new, advanced

operating system, which promises to be an in-

tuitive entity in its own right, individual to e ach

user. Upon initiating it, he is delighted to meet

Samantha, a bright, female voice, who is

insightful, sensitive and surprisingly funny. As

her needs and desires grow, in tandem with hisown, their friendship deepens into an eventual

love for each other.

From the unique perspective of Oscar-

nominated lmmaker Spike Jonze comes an

original love story that explores the evolving

natureand the risksof intimacy in the mod-

ern world. ~ www.herthemovie.com

Joaquin Phoenix is such an amazing actor

and he has always been one of my favorites.

He is an actor, not a celebrity. There is a big

difference. He takes risks with his roles, and

lives very much out of the spotlight. I have to

imagine this role really resonated with him. He

got it, and it shows.

Scarlett Johansson; I wonder what made

her decide to take this role? Sh e is denitely

the lead actress, and was initially surrounded

by quite a bit of Oscar buzz for this role. But

one thing disqualied her - I dont want to blast

spoiler alert, so I will leave it at that. She

was wonderful and sweet and kind and heart -

breaking.

The slightly futuristic feel to the movie

was amazing. Tiny details, like the high

waisted wool trousers all the men wore and the

packaging of all the food. The way Ted lived;

the emptiness you felt in his beautiful apart-

ment. He lived such a lonely existence, yet

was always busy making other peoples lives

feel more relevant. It was a very interesting

concept, breathtakingly beautiful at times, but

most certainly very sad.

There is a panic in the movie, the mo-

ment Ted loses Samantha. While he is

searching, my heart was racing right along

with his. I t was terrifying, and made us all

face the reality of this relationship. In the

blink of an eye it could all be over, and we

would have no idea where to look. That is

true of all online relationships, even those we

are in today. But it is also true of real rela-

tionships. Having ended a ten year relation-

ship recently, not by my choosing, I under-

stand the panic and grief that he must havefelt. It really, really takes your breath away

and takes over your entire world. It is a very,

very difcult thing to navigate through.

This movie did make me think about the

amount of time I spend with my own tech-

nology. It made me want to be present when

with family and friends. To read more. To

watch more. To explore more. We all as a

society need to pay attention to our lives, or

this

world Ted lives in most certainly could

become a reality.

That being said, the idea of a kindred

spirit, someone in my life who wants nothing

more than to listen to me and ask me questions

about my life and make me feel important, that

is a very enticing proposition. The best line of

the movie:

You always wanted to have a wife without

the challenges of actually dealing with anything

real. Im glad you found someone. Exactly.

follow Lisa on Twitter @Take2Review.

Why We Love Who We Love,

A Review of Her by Spike JonzeVennis A. Vennable

Theres a reasonNational Lampoons Vaca-tion franchise touched so many of us. You couldnt

help but see your own family in the Griswalds.

(Everyone has a Cousin Eddie, whatever his actualname may be.)

The series began, of course, with the quintes -sential summer vacation. A Midwestern family

driving cross-country in a station wagon to visit the

entertainment complex referred to in the movie, asthe non-trademark-infringing, Wally World. How

many millions of us have our own personal versionsof that story?

From the time Disneyland opened in Cali-

fornia, through Disney World/Epcot in Orlando,through Europe right up to Disney Cruises of today,

the Big Mouse has had his cartoon eyes on yourvacation cash.

For generations now, theyve done a masterfuljob of convincing kids that their childhoods wont

be complete without a pilgrimage to one or another

of the smiling rodents shrines.We never made it while I was a kid, though,

we eventually got to a smaller,regional attraction. Itwas pretty cool for kids who had never been any-

where, but we still hankered for the real deal.The wife had been to Disneyland as a child, so

it was pretty much a foregone conclusion that ourgirls would get theirs, too. We did the west-coast

version in the early 90s. If I remember right, the

mini-van in those days was a white Pontiac Trans-

port. It had a long, pointy nose and looked like ashort-bus from outer space.

The kids have their own memories of the trip,

but a couple of things stand out in my mind. Therst would be my oldest daughter, we call her W.

She had some early version of a kids personal tapeplayer, and was jamming to New Kids on the Block

all week long. Went through a gazillion batteries.She had her earphones in, which kept us from

enduring the soundtrack with her. However, it alsokept her from hearing her own non-stop, off-key

singing. The kid has many gifts but singing.

well?The other thing I remember from that trip is

an image I havent been able to shake. We were atDisneyland on an old-time ride called Its a Small

World After All.

Picture yourself, in a boat, on a river, butinstead of marmalade skies, youre inside a crazy

marionette world, where youre surrounded on ev -ery side by tiny multi-national puppets, all singing

the same insidious song in thousands and thousands

of tiny animatronic voices.Now imagine that youre somewhere deep

inside the maze when a worker in coveralls steps outof a side panel and tells us about a minor malfunc-

tion up ahead. He promises a short delay and disap-

pears.Recollections on the actual time spent in the

tunnel vary among the passengers in the boat thatday, but all I can tell you, is that if its true that each

of us has our own personal version of hell, Ive

had a glimpse of mine.

I recognized it instantly as some kind of one-

world brainwashing plot and swore theyd never get

mine.

I have a theory that time inside that particularhouse of horrors, changes and stretches somehow. It

may have been only minutes we were stopped, but itseemed like weeks, with uorescent dancing owers

bombarding me with their song of togetherness.I was convinced we were never getting out. I

admit I was eyeballing the family in the row ahead

of us, mentally cataloguing the pecking order incase we had to resort to cannibalism.

Luckily, it didnt come to that, but a Dad onvacation has to prepare for any eventuality.

Obviously, we all lived to tell the tale, though

the versions differ slightly with the teller.Over the years, there were plenty of other

mini-van trips to various tourist destinations aroundthe country. We saw why they call it The Grand

Canyon. We saw why they call them the SmokyMountains. Weve done beaches up and down the

Atlantic and Pacic. Weve done Dollywood and

Six Flags Over Pretty Much Everywhere.But thinking back, I guess it was never re-

ally about the destination, it was always about thejourney. We were like the Space Family Robinson

jetting across this nation of stars in our little capsule,

consuming processed food and drink from mylarpouches, as we explored strange new worlds. And

re-connected. Which was really the idea all along.

Oh yeah, and turns out,it really is a small, small

world, after all!

Vacations


5/9

Jay Kerner

Last week was another anniversary of the day

my wife and I died.She had been having headaches for a week or

so in the evenings, but they would go away throughthe day at work. Our room upstairs was always the

warmest in the house so we kept a window open an

inch or two most of the time. The night it got us,the temperature had dropped to single digits, and I

shut the window before bed.Around 3 am I was rudely awakened by my

wifes snoring Shes usually a fairly quiet sleeper

so I gave her a nudge to get her to roll over. Noth-

ing. Little harder nudge, still nothing Somethingswrong! I shake her. Still nothing.

At that point I tried to climb out of bed to turn

on the light, and it seemed like I melted to the oor.

I remember lying there convinced that somehow my

bones had been stolen.

I dont know how long I slept there, but I cameawake with a start, and remembered that, oh yeah,

somethings wrong! I grabbed the phone cord, andpulled it to the oor. My wife was unconscious but I

kept asking her how to spell 911.

Somehow I made the connection but couldntgure out how to hold the phone to my ear, so I just

yelled. I told them I think my wife and I are bothhaving heart attacks. Thanks to caller ID, help was

quickly on the way.From that point I just lay there and watched

things happen.The rst reman through the door downstairs

yelled Masks on everybody, Ive got CO2!

He was apparently using some kind of digital

monitor, because he next said Oh s*** Ive got680 in the kitchen, there wont be anyone alive in

this house! That was when I gured out we were

dead.

You know all things considered, this wasnt abad way to go. Completely painless, and hey, just

take a gander at my good looking corpse will ya!Then, I swear, I started looking for the white tunnel.

I watch movies, I read the Enquirer. I know

how its supposed to work. But there was nothinglike that. Before long the remen and EMTs found

my wife, and I hear somebody say, Hey, this onesstill breathing! My rst thought was Great, my

wife made it! After that it was Oh ne, now Im

gonna be dead all by myself. Shes going to collect

all the life insurance and run off with the pool boy.

We didnt have a pool at the time but whatever.While they were carrying her out on a stretch-

er, somebody checked me out and said, What doyou know, this ones breathing too. Damn it!

Cancel the funeral I guess. In a matter of minutesthey had me in the back of an ambulance next to my

wife. The blast of freezing air on our skin and in our

lungs brought us both around a little. I grabbed herhand and held it all the way to the hospital.

When we got there, they put us in separateexam rooms, but as I regained more use of my vocal

abilities, I pulled my squeaky wheel routine till theyput us in together. After a couple of hours they had

determined that for reasons unknown, even thoughwe both came in with blood saturation much higherthan what is supposed to be the fatal level, we were

not only alive, but there didnt seem to be any braindamage. I knew my wife would be ok, when she

suggested they test me again.

The next 12 hours were a blast exceptfor the hourly blood draws. Family and

friends showed up as word got around. Itwas weird because by that time we were

feeling pretty good, but everybody came in

crying and upset. We sat around in bed likeJohn and Yoko, eating Jello till they nally

let us leave.I dropped my wife at her mothers for

the night, as I went home to nd the culprit.

The gas had been shut off in the meantime

so there was no immediate threat. When

I opened the door to the furnace room, Ididnt see it at rst, but I stood on a chair

and followed the ue from the furnace and

hot water heater with a ash light. There itwas, plain as day. The vent pipe that carries

the poison exhaust gasses out of the househad vibrated loose leaving a big gap at the

top. What really made me mad, is that wehad the system professionally installed only

6 years earlier. A closer inspection showed

that on that particular joint, the installer ne-

glected to put in the sheet metal screw that

insures an accident like this never happens.I took care of the problem and had

the whole system inspected by two differ-ent companies before my wife would step

through the door. Naturally we bought the

best Carbon Monoxide detector money can

buy.A whole lot of people have told us since, that

God must have a plan for you. Well thats ne, but

I sure wish hed tell me what it is so I could get onwith it. In the meantime Ill just do the most obvi-

ous thing I can think of, and tell everyone readingthis to go buy a Carbon Monoxide alarm. You dont

have to buy the most expensive one. The cheap one

with nothing more than a loud obnoxious alarm willdo the job just as well. You can get one for less than

$20. Makes a great gift idea.After the incident we were understandably a

little pushy, but a lot of friends and relatives pur-

chased units. We backed off since then, but in the

years since the accident, several different peoplehave called to thank us, after alarms that we pes-

tered them to buy, alerted them to a dangerous situa-

tion. We feel pretty good about that.So now what you get is the annual reminder,

and there you have it.

9

The Anniversary of My Death

Brandy is an adorabledomestic shorthair brown

tabby female. A young man

had a cat that he didnt getspayed, and she had kit-

tens. He moved in with hismom, and she called Kitty

Cat Connection for help.We took in two kittens, andone was Brandy. She is shyat rst, so a quiet home is a

must. Once she feels safe,

she is very affectionate.She gets along well with

other cats, but were not

sure about dogs. For moreinformation, contact www.

KittyCatConnection.org orwww.Facebook.com/Kitty-

CatConnection.

Stardust is a buff-colored, young, tabby female who is condent, friendly

and playful. Born in June 2013, she was rescued by a young couple, whobrought her to Kitty Cat Connection because she had a life-threatening

wound. But after undergoing a lifesaving surgery, she recovered and is nowplayful, happy and energetic and ready for her forever home. She is a won-

derful family cat and would do well with children.

Freddie is an adorableorange and white male

domestic shorthair bornin August 2013. He has

extremely soft fur, andthough he is shy at rst,

he warms up quickly and

loves to snuggle, cuddleand purr. He is friendly,

laid back and gets alongwith other cats. For more

information, contact us

at www.KittyCatCon-

nection.org or at www.

Facebook.com/KittyCat-Connection.

Molly is a small, young, female domestic shorthair brown tabby cat.

She was trapped outside in a feral colony, but she was so loving and tamethat she was rescued. Molly is a little shy at rst, but she warms up quickly

and becomes a lap cat who loves to play and snuggle.

She is small for her age and will not be a big girl.

Kitty Cat Connection, Inc. is a non-prot, humane organization dedi-

cated to:

reducing suffering and overpopulation among feral and abandoned cats

fostering and nding caring homes for all rescued cats

promoting spay/neuter and adoption as a way to address the problem ofhomeless cats in our community.

We are a group of dedicated, unpaid volunteers who spend countless

hours and much of our own money rescuing cats. We welcome new volunteersin the areas of fostering, transportation, medical care, adoptions and fundrais-

ing. Donations are much appreciated and will be used entirely to promote thewelfare of our rescued kitties. We are a non-prot 501(c)(3) corporation, and

donations are tax deductible to the full extent allowed by law. Reach us at

Kitty Cat Connection

www.kittycatconnection.org or on Facebook at

www.Facebook.com/Kit-

tyCatConnection.


6/9

Magoons Famous Deli

632 S. 8th in St. Joe

Sat 2/1 Coyote Bills BoogieBandFri 2/7 Justin Andrew MurraySat2/8 Hector AnchandoWed 2/12 the MotorsFri 2/14 Valentines Day Extra-veganzaSat 2/15 Robo HopsThurs 2/20 Jeff Lux

Fri 2/21 Brody Buster BluesBandSat 2/22 The MotorsThurs 2/27 Jeff HudsonFri 2/28 Big Harry &

Back Alley Blues Band

Graham Tyler Memorial

Chapel8700 N.W. River Park Dr.

Parkville

Cellist Colin Carr

Sat., Feb. 1, 7:30 p.m.

The Bunk House in Weston17965 Hwy. 45 N.Southern Reign BandSat., Feb. 1, 8 p.m.

The Bunk House 1

7965 Hwy. 45 N.

Weston

Mickey Finn Band

Sat., Feb. 15, 8 p.m.

Rancho Grande Cantina

2301 Running Horse Rd.Platte City

Matt Snook & Phil Vandal

Wednesdays

Live Music Saturdays

@ Boomers Bar & Grill

7932 N. Oak Trfy.

Kansas City

The Hdeout

6948 N. Oak Tfwy.

Kansas City

Open blues jam

Sundays, 7 p.m.

Live Music Hi-Lites


7/9

Jimmy Hambone Hamilton

The greatest movie ever, you ask?

Surely this is satire. It would be blasphemy

to think that a dumb comedy could ever bespoken of in the same breath as Citizen Kane,

Gone With the Wind, or even The Godfather,as the jewels of American Cinema.

Well listen up movie snobs, as I intro-duce it to those who havent yet been seduced

by its charms, and then compare and contrast

it with these other seemingly dissimilar mov-

ies.

When the Jerk was released in 1979,

it marked Steve Martins rst feature lm.

He had been riding the crest of popularity asthe hottest stand-up comedy act since his hit

HBO special, and follow up LP Lets Get

Small. He had gone from a writer and some -

time performer on the Smothers Brothers Comedy Show to selling out stadiums

like a rock star.Director Carl Reiner went from playing Alan Brady in the old Dick Van

Dyke Show, to writing and directing Blazing Saddles and Young Frankenstein

among others.The Jerk is the story of Navin Johnson, played by Martin, who was born,

as he explains early in the movie, a poor black child. He learns on his 21stbirthday that he had been left as a baby on the doorstep of an African American

share-croppers shack, and raised as one of their own. When told the truth of

how he arrived, his rst question is, so does that mean Im going to stay this

color?

This answers a lot of questions for Navin, such as why he has no naturalrhythm, so he decides to go out into the world to see what life has in store for

him.He hitch-hikes cross country, meeting strange people and having lots of

comedic adventures along the way. While working at a gas station in St. Louis,

he repairs some eyeglasses for a customer, and installs a wire handle to helpkeep them from slipping. The owner turns out to be an inventor, who promises

to market the glasses.Later he woos the under appreciated Bernadette Peters, when she visits

the traveling carnival where he works. She is reluctant at rst, because her

mother told her to wait for a man with a special purpose. Navin is very excit -

ed, because that is how his adopted mother had always referred to his genitalia.Dear Mom and Dad, he writes, I nally found out what my special

purpose is for. I may not write for a while, because I plan on using it a lot!

Things change rapidly when Navin learns that his eyeglasses invention isa hit and he is suddenly rich beyond his wildest dreams. However, his new-

found wealth cant hide his humble upbringing. A perfect example is when he

criticizes a waiter for bringing them an old bottle of wine.What do you take us for, a couple of Rubes? Take this away and bring us

some of this years wine. And dont forget those paper umbrellas we like.

Navin goes from the highest high, to the lowest low, when a class action

lawsuit stems from his invention causing people to become cross-eyed. He

loses everything and hits rock bottom, summed up beautifully by Ms. Peters

who whines, Its not the money. its the stuff!

I wont give away the heartwarming ending, and instead will go into somecomparisons with the other classic lms mentioned earlier.

Lets start with theme. A young boy rises from humble beginnings to a

position of power and riches. Are we talking about Citizen Kane, The Godfa-

ther, or The Jerk? When Orson Wells started on his masterpiece, many ques-tioned whether his radio background qualied him to star in such an epic. Steve

Martin faced the similar scrutiny.

Some say a good test of a classic movie is whether there is a famousquote. Of course, everyone has heard Frankly my dear, I dont give a damn

from Gone with the Wind, or Make em an offer they cant refuse, from the

Godfather. But ask yourself truthfully if youve heard either quote as often asthe Jerks The new phonebooks here! The new phonebooks here! Yet alone,

He hates these cans! Stay away from the cans!Vivian Leighs Scarlet OHara is certainly one of cinemas classic beau-

ties, but for my money she cant touch Bernadette Peters in a sailor suit, sing-

ing a duet with Steve Martin on the beach.

The theme songs from the Godfather and Gone With the Wind were bothnominated for Academy Awards. The ethereal, Im Picking Out a Thermos For

You on the other hand, was mostly ignored by the critics.Citizen Kane may have been xated on the recurring iconic image of a

sled called Rosebud, but compare that with the Jerks All I need is this ther-

mos. Thats all I need!and this paddle ball game.Hopefully Ive been able to shed some light on the gross unfairness that

surrounds this timeless classic. If its been a while since youve seen it, gather

the whole family and watch it again. In my house we use it as a screeningmethod for the daughters potential suitors. We make them watch it, while we

watch them. If they dont laugh appropriately, they dont make the cut.If for some reason, youve missed out on the cinematic spectacle that is

The Jerk, remedy this immediately and join the legion of its devotees. You

dont know what youre missing!

12- Joe Movies

My Argument For The Jerk As Greatest American Film

Sometimes opening doors starts by finding closure.

Our life coaches are here to help you do just that.

Living from the inside out:

Moving beyond the identity of our rolesPresented by Todd Davisson

ACC certified life coach through theInternational Coach Federation

Thursday, February 13 | 6:30 7:30 p.m.

Necessary Endings: Discovering what needs to end

and executing steps toward closurePresented by Kim Specker

PCC certified life coach through theInternational Coach Federation

Thursday, February 6 | 6:30 - 7:30 p.m.Thursday, March 6 | Noon - 1:00 p.m.

Learn more and register for one of our FREEWORKSHOPSat myMosaicLifeCare.org/mylife.

Many of us aspire to a new begi nning with ambitious NewYears resolutions. Lose weight, pay off credit card debit,quit smoking, get organized the lists go on and on.

Unfortunately, for most of us we have already given up onresolutions. Heck some of us probably didnt even make it a

week! Weve all been guilty at some point.

As a life coach, my goal is to inspire people to be the

architect of their own future, and I want to hel p you designyours too, so keep reading. This year, lets say no to New

Years resolutions and yes to SMARTgoals.

Effective change must be goal-driven and advocate for small,

rather than large, change. Im not saying you should aim low,

but small changes can make a big difference, and why nothave many successes on your journey. A goal is the target,

not the how (action steps), and SMARTgoals are Specific,Measurable, Attainable, Relevant and Time specific.

Specific:Ask yourself, What exactly do I want toaccomplish? If you desire to be d ebit free, what will that

look like? Do you want to pay off your credit cards, stopliving pay check to pay check, be able to open a savings

account and have enough money in it to avoid penalty fees?What will it look like once you reach this goal?

Measurable:How can you quantify this goal so youll knowwhen youve reached it? If you desire a more balanced life, as

your life coach I would ask you how do you define more?Does more mean five minutes of me time each day, or doesit mean not working on the weekends? How will you know

once you have achieved your goal?

Attainable:Dont set the bar too high. Is your goal

reasonably possible? We need to be realistic when settinggoals and consider any barriers that may hinder reaching

this goal. If you are wanting to exercise more, do you haveaccess to a gym or exercise equipment? Do you need

childcare? When will you fit this in to your busy schedule?This would be a great time to also think about your supportsystem. Success is more likely to happen when we have an

accountability partner and support network.

Relevant: Why is this goal important to you? Is this

something that you want, or is this something that someoneelse wants for you? On a scale of one to 10, how important is

it for you to reach this goal?

Time-Specific:A goal should be grounded within a time

frame, and someday isnt going to cut it. Without a timeframe, there is no sense of urgency and the goal will most

likely get pushed to the back burner of your to-do list. Bysetting a start date in the future, it puts your mind in motionbefore you make any physical changes. As your life coach I

would encourage you to set both a start d ate and a deadline.

Remember, it doesnt have to be January to set a goal, it iswhenever the time is right for you just be SMART!

Stefanie Baines is a member of the Life Coach Team at Mosaic Life

Care. Learn more about Mosaic Life Care at myMosaicLifeCare.org

to locate a physician, service or office near you. Stefanie finds great

joy in helping clients discover their own personal best; allowing

them to live an effective, balanced and fulfilled life. She has had

a great deal of experience motivating people in making behavior

changes, meeting clients where they are, and helping them to

reach where they want to go. You may contact Stefanie at stefanie.

[email protected] or 757.748.1052 to experience a complimentary

life coaching session.

Set SMART Goals for SuccessBy Stefanie Baines, life coach, Mosaic Life Care

Mosaic Life Care at Shoal Creek

8870 NE 82nd Terrace

Kansas City, MO 64158


8/9

Come the fall of 2014,some St. Joseph School District(SJSD) children will walk throughunchartered hallways, sit at brand-new desks, and be the rst classes

of students at two new elementaryschools.

In 2012, St. Joseph voterspassed a $42 million bond issue toconstruct two 75,000-square-footelementary schools and provideupdates and air-conditioning to theother schools in the district. The old brick school buildings

in St. Joseph may hold nostalgia,but new buildings will providemore safety, comfort and a betterenvironment for learning. Onetwo-story building will be locatedat Carden Park at 16th and Duncanstreets and the other will be aone-story school at Bishop andCook roads. Former school districtsuperintendent, Melody Smith, andMayor Bill Falkner applauded St.Joseph in their support of the newschools when the bond passed by 65percent in April 2012. The school at Bishop andCook roads will provide for thenew subdivisions that are rapidlyspreading over the land on thenortheastern side of town. Theconstruction site for the schoolblends in to the other constructionof the homes all around the area. TheCarden Park school will be tuckedinto the neighborhood that used toattend Neely Elementary School. The

neighbors will be very happy to havetheir school closer to home onceagain. While the updated and newschools help the current residents,it is also hoped that the schools willattract more people to consider St.Joseph as their home. Prospectiveemployers look for places whereeducation is a high priority. Acommunity supportive of localeducation means better educationfor the families of new residentsand a better skilled workforce for

the companies that choose to settlehere. The construction has alreadybeen boosting the local economy.The districts chief operationocer, Rick Hartigan, announcedat the beginning of the projectthat nearly 90 percent of the fewhundred employees hired were localresidents. This has been providingthese local developers income forthe last few years. Neighborhoodshave been anxiously anticipatingthe opening of the schools next fallas they watch the local developerssculpt the land and buildings thatthey know will provide their childrenwith newer technology, better safetyand better comfort, so they canfocus on their learning. St. Joseph supports theirschools and will benet from the

boost these new schools will haveon the local economy. Local citizensbanded together a few years ago in a

group called PACT (Planning ACourse Together). Guided by theSt. Joseph Board of Education andschool district administrators, thisgroup red the ideas and spurred

the action that helped nalize the

plans to build the new schools andimprove the already existing schools.

When decisions have to bemade, St. Joseph citizens back theirschools and support projects that

will improve community education.

Two New Schools Benet Workforce and Quality of Life in St. JosephSubmitted by the St. Joseph Chamber of Commerce

The St. Joseph Chamber of Commerce is proud to announce that it has launched a new website to helpsmall business owners. The Small Business Resource Center, www.stjosephsmallbusiness.com, provides

a wealth of information about a variety of subjects that affect your small business. This can range from

financing and planning to sales, marketing and insurance. Whether youre just starting a business

or youve been in business for a while, there are lots of decisions to make. With the Small Business

Resource Center, you will have combined years of experience, proven strategies, and knowledge for

success at your fingertips. The site is presented by American Family Insurance. Please check it out today

and let us know your thoughts as it continues to grow.

stjosephsmallbusiness.com

Two new schoolsare being constructedin St.Joseph. Thephoto at thetop isat Bishop andCookroad. The photo below isat Carden Park. Itwill havewindowsthat displaydowntown below.

Photoscourtesy of theSt. Joseph PublicSchoolDistrict Facebookpage.

Mug

ShotsWe caught these folks

out and about, north

of the river. If you

recognze any of thesepeople, let em know

you saw their mugs in

The Regular Joe.

in St. Joseph in St. Joseph


9/9

Documents

Regular Joe KC Feb 2014