Writing Effective Personal Statements & College Essays

REACH Senior SeminarCymry DeBoucher 2014

Factor Very Important Important Considered Not ConsideredGPA 74.2 17.2 5.6 2.8Rigor SchoolRecord 71.2 13.8 6.4 8.4Test Scores 56.4 26.8 11.9 4.8Class Rank 23.79 29.16 24.72 22.13

Essay 18.32 27.25 29.17 25.2

Recom. 17.8 28.7 37.3 16.1

Source: 1,520 4-year schools reporting data to The Princeton Review during the 2011-12 academic year.

Admissions Factors

“Ninety percent of the applications I read contain what I call McEssays. . .They are technically correct in that they are organized and have the correct sentence structure and spelling, but they are boring. Sort of like a Big Mac.”

Parke Muth, Senior Assistant Dean - Office of Undergraduate Admission, University of Virginia

The essay demonstrates your ability to write clearly and concisely on a selected topic and helps you distinguish yourself in your own voice.

What do you want the readers of your application to know about you apart from courses, grades, and test scores? Choose the option that best helps you answer that question.

Write an essay of at least 250 words - no more than 650 words, using the prompt to inspire and structure your response. Remember: 650 words is your limit, not your goal. Use the full range if you need it, but don’t feel obligated to do so.

Common App Essay:

Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Recount an incident or time when you experienced failure. How did it affect you, and what lessons did you learn?

Common App Essay prompts

Reflect on a time when you challenged a belief or idea. What prompted you to act? Would you make the same decision again?

Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

Discuss an accomplishment or event, formal or informal, that marked your transition from childhood to adulthood within your culture, community, or family.

Common App Essay prompt cont…

Common App 2014-2015 Prompts

Prompt 1: Some students have a background or story that is so central to their identity that they believe their application would be incomplete without it. If this sounds like you, then please share your story.

Who are you?What makes you, you?What do you do outside of school?Is there an issue that is important to you?How are you different from your classmates

Common App 2014-2015 Prompts

Prompt 4: Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

Step 1 – Identify the key termsPlace/Environment ContentExperience/Do Meaningful

Common App 2014-2015 Prompts

Prompt 4: Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

Step 2 – Brainstorm some topicsWhere I’m Content

Places I Love What I Experience It Means to Me

Common App 2014-2015 Prompts

Prompt 4: Describe a place or environment where you are perfectly content. What do you do or experience there, and why is it meaningful to you?

Name five places you’d rather be right now.

What do those places look like?How do those places make you feel?What kinds of things can happen there?

Common Application….students submit one personal statement to the Common App and it can’t be altered for each college

Many colleges have supplemental writing submissions, but the main application essay should be general enough for all colleges.

Word of caution #1

Example: U of A Honors CollegeSelect an inspirational quote that you would put on the wall of your room as you begin your freshman year at the University of Arizona Honors College. Why did you pick this quote? Explain why you see its message as enduring rather than situational. Please limit your responses to a total of 500 words.

Address the prompt – if you do not understand the prompt then do some research on-line and ask others what the prompt is asking.

University of Arizona Honors College

Do your research before you write

Here is an example using Stanford:

College specific writing

“Give me something I can sell to the committee.”

Stanford Admissions Officer

Use the college website and other sources to identify key characteristic and value statements

STANFORD UNIVERSITY… Since its opening in 1891, Stanford has

been dedicated to finding solutions to big challenges and to preparing students for leadership in a complex world.

Step one

Our job (along with all the other incredible people in the ASSU) is to support the 650+ student groups that do incredible things every day. From Mariachi to community service, from Solar Car to club rugby, from the Stanford Improvisers to anything else you can imagine, there are a group of people that share your interest. Find them! Join a club or start your own. Stanford can be anything you make it. Let us know if you have an idea and we’ll help make it happen.

We’re also here to be your voice at the school. If you find anything you don’t like or anything you want to change, let us know and we’ll help you in whatever way we can. Open invitation.

Stugo statement – unofficial Stanford Guide

From its outset, the school defied convention. It was co-educational at a time when most universities were all male, and it was non-denominational when most were associated with a religious organization. It was also tuition-free for the first thirty years! Jane and Leland Stanford wanted all students to have the opportunity to attend Stanford, regardless of their background. Avowedly practical, the school demonstrated its commitment to producing “cultured and useful citizens” when most universities concerned themselves only with the former trait. The same amount of opportunity is available to students today, as they continually forge Stanford tradition in the spirit of innovation, creativity, and character. After 119 years, Stanford University’s graduates have founded Hewlett-Packard, Yahoo!, Cisco Systems, Google, Nike, Instagram, and Snapchat, just to name a few.

Defying convention – unofficial Stanford Guide

There is no such thing as a useless class. People seem to be under the impression that a class isn’t worthwhile if it doesn’t count for something like a major, minor, or GER. That’s a very negative way of thinking—unless you explore classes and actually take chances outside of your comfort zone, you’ll never be able to fully experience the breadth of Stanford, or to be more cliché, life. Yeah, we just went there.

Beliefs and values – unofficial Stanford Guide

Don’t feel like you need to have a “useful ” major. No matter what your aggressive, overbearing parents tell you, being a pre-med or majoring in Econ is useless unless you are actually interested in the field.

Pursuing passions – unofficial Stanford Guide

Better yet, form a study group with other people in the same classes as you, or at least with similar interests in classes; more often than not, these people will end up being your friends. Stanford is tricky like that.

Everything from eating dinner together, to having the proverbial 2 a.m. philosophical talks together, to arriving 4 hours early to the first football game of the year together, this experience is one that you will not want to take for granted.

Get Involved – unofficial Stanford Guide

Use communities to explore your interests, be it writing, social advocacy, or juggling. There, you’ll find a group of like-minded people who probably share your same passions.

Explore your interests – unofficial Stanford Guide

Try something you never thought you would try; you’re only in college once.

Explore your Disinterests – unofficial Stanford Guide

The unofficial motto of Stanford University, selected by President Jordan, is "Die Luft der Freiheit weht."[179] Translated from the German language, this quotation from Ulrich von Hutten means, "The wind of freedom blows." The motto was controversial during World War I, when anything in German was suspect; at that time the university disavowed that this motto was official.

The unofficial motto - wikipedia

Encyclopedia.com. "In 2002 Stanford University stood as one of the premier centers of higher learning and research in the country. Enrolling over 6,000 undergraduates and 7,000 graduate students a year, the university continued to attract some of the leading scholars in their fields and has produced a long list of renowned alumni."

We’re #1!….wikipedia

Identify things you have done that illustrate ANY of the characteristics and values identified in your research

Look for “little stories” from your life that show something about you that is a match for the characteristics or values expressed by the institution

Step 2

DO write a cogent (clear, logical, persuasive, and convincing) well-organized essay about something you have done that made a difference in your development as a whole person.

What makes you the person you are, and how has that impacted your ambitions, goals, world view?

Step 3

Do NOT describe the university and why you are a good match

Do NOT pick things from the website and say why they make the school appealing to you

Do NOT write about how you overcame failures of others on teams or groups

Do Not’s

Do NOT use words incorrectly or over-use SAT vocabulary

Do NOT submit an essay with errors

Do NOT claim you have done something you have not done

More Do Not's

Do Not’s cont…

Do NOT make arrogant statements:

“I intend to become a billionaire by the time I am 30.”

“I plan to be the next Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, etc…”

Do NOT write a list of stuff from your resume

Do NOT make statements that imply a false belief or ethic just to match the website or prompt

If nothing about you matches the school, then this is not the school for you.

Do Not’s cont…

Do NOT use the name of the college in your essay

– if you do, take extra care not to send that same essay to another college!! Nothing turns a college off faster than receiving an essay about how wonderful another college is!

Word of caution # 2

Testing Your Essay

Test #1 – Does this essay merely repeat information elsewhere in my application?

• Pick a topic that is not part of your activity list or high school resume or add significant detail to something that is.

• Take a highlighter and mark all the parts of your essay in which you’re merely describing something found elsewhere. It should be less than a paragraph.

Testing Your Essay

Test #2 – Did I do more than tell a story? Did I show what the story means?• Remember to use the story as a vehicle.• Take a highlighter and mark all the parts of

your essay in which you go beyond the events of the story and describe your thoughts, feelings, and reflections. It should be more than a paragraph.

Testing Your Essay

Test #3 – Does this essay sound like me?

• Ask a good friend to read your essay and tell you if it sounds like you.

• If you can’t make a topic sound like you, it may not be your topic.

• Trying to impress the admissions folks is not the goal – getting them to know you is.

Testing Your Essay

Test #4 – Does the essay do what I want it to?

• Ask an adult (like a teacher) to read your essay and write down a list of descriptive words and phrases that they think the essay communicates. Make sure they write down both good and bad things.

• Does their list match your list of goals?

Beginning Middle End

Editing – use several different editors (content; word choice; grammar; spelling; sentence fluency, structure and variety)

Voice is critical

Essay basics

Start early Edit and rewrite - lots

Good Luck!