Ratiocination for “I Believe” Essay

AP Language and CompostionDaniel Johnson

Stephen F. Austin High School

STEP 1: DICTION: Connotation and Denotation

Choose a 1-2 paragraph section of your essay that is essential to the meaning of the piece as a whole.

1.First, circle verbs with one color.

2. Next, repeat the process with adjectives and adverbs (in a new color).

3. Repeat once again with common (not proper) nouns (in a new color).

• In your group, compare “patriots,” “heroes,” “soldiers,” “war criminals,” “invaders.”

oWhat is the emotional value of each word?

oWhat does each word imply?

oWhat clues do we get about the author’s attitude about this subject from each of these words?

Denotation and Connotation• Connotation: the implied meaning of a word; the emotive

qualities of the word.

• The most important aspect of diction for analysis! o Gives clues to author’s stance, tone, and bias--suggests

how the author wants us to view the subject.

o Helps to establish pathos—creates certain feelings for the reader that subtly (almost subliminally) convince us of the author’s claim(s).

o EX: “I am firm, you are obstinate, he is pigheaded.” --Bertrand Russell

APPLICATION OF STEP 1: Diction Revision-- Denotation and Connotation

1. Look up synonyms for the verbs you marked in part 1, or brainstorm a list of synonyms with your group. Write these down on a sticky note labeled "verbs."

2. Compare your original words to the synonyms. Choose new words         to replace originals that don’t fit (either they don’t make sense, or     the connotations aren’t exactly what you intended.) On your draft,     mark an X over any words that you eliminate, and write the        revised word above.

3. Repeat the process for the other parts of speech (adjectives,     adverbs, and common nouns) as well.

4. Keep in mind: a well-chosen word that clearly communicates its     meaning is preferable to a "fancy" word that is either inaccurate or     unclear. 

STEP 2: Abstract and Concrete

• Abstract: idea words and feeling words. Not tangible—do not appeal to senses.

• Examples: love, honor, respect, patriotism, goodness, evil, etc.

o Effects: can build background for more specific discussion to follow for any of the appeals. 

Conversely, can distance the reader through a lack of specifics, making the writing difficult to follow and, more importantly, difficult to be convinced by.

o Often used to manipulate pathos

o Often used to create ethos (especially through patriotic appeals) 

Problems of abstraction • Often, abstract words are too purely intellectual to be

convincing: they usually need to be "grounded" in more specific, concrete language to generate a reaction from the reader. 

• This is not to say you should not use abstract words--we couldn't write anything without them--but consider your audience and your purpose: more often than not, concrete language (and concrete support) help to demonstrate what is meant by the abstract language better than the abstract language does itself. 

• Abstraction also frequently leads to vague writing: avoid at vagueness at all costs!

                More on abstraction

• With your group, make the following abstract words more concrete: 

         love, honor, respect, patriotism, goodness, evil. 

• Now, find a few abstract words in your own essay. Underline them, and label them "ABS." Evaluate each word: 

o Is there a reason you need the abstract language?

o Does your audience need these concepts to be concrete in order to grasp your ideas and, especially, to be convinced of them?

• Concrete: tangible words, often appealing to the five senses.o Effects: often helps to establish imagery and therefore pathos—

check to see if the pathos is manipulative. Check also to see what emotion is evoked, and through what senses.

Crucially, concrete language also serves to clarify and exemplify abstract ideas: this makes them "graspable" for the reader, and therefore makes them more convincing (more often than not). 

o Ask, “Why did the author want to give the reader a picture of this? What ideas are implied and/or conveyed? How does the concrete language serve to clarify, explain, illustrate, or otherwise prove the abstract concept?”

o Specifics help form the backbone of logic (statistics, specific examples and cases, etc.)

S.I. Hayakawa’s “Ladder of Abstraction”

• General, abstract words;     Transportation, justice.

• Somewhat specific;     Automobile, juvenile court.

• More specifically; cardio-     Vascular health benefits.

• Very specific; expands      the arteries around your     heart, helping to prevent      clots. 

APPLICATION FOR STEP 2: abstract + concrete diction

1. Look back over your list of verbs, adjectives and adverbs, and common nouns. Look for patterns of abstraction and concreteness.

2. Double-check these parts in the essay: does the situation call for a more concrete word? Would additional concrete language help clarify and specify the point(s) that you are making?

3. Make any needed revisions on your draft. Be sure your revisions are easy for me to spot. 

One Last Abstraction Check• Since concrete words create images, double-

check places where you attempt to create imagery. o Make sure that you have concrete words where needed in

these sections to help your reader “see” (or otherwise sense) the images that you intend for them to see or experience.

o In places where you make your claims, be clear by using specific, concrete diction to support and clarify. Examples function as concrete language in these cases.

“The speaker was overcome with emotion,” versus “His fists clenched and his voice rising, the speaker was

clearly overcome with emotion.”

STEP 3: “TO BE” verbs and auxiliary verbs; Active versus Passive Voice

1. Draw a triangle around each of these verbs;

      Is, as, was, were, be, being, been, has, had, have

2. Count up the total number of triangles and write the total at the top of the first page of your draft. Your goal is to get rid of 1/3 to ½ of your “to be” verbs—if you began with 9, you need to get rid of 3-5.

3. Now eliminate as many "to be" verbs as you can in the next few minutes. Make your revisions clear on your draft, and be ready to talk about how you made your changes. 

Revising Passive Voice (“to be” verbs)• Change “to be” verbs by revising with active verbs

“I was going to be late, so I called my parents to let them know.”                                 could be revised to read            “I was late, so I called my parents to let them know.”

• Change “to be” verbs into gerunds and participles             “To be winning every year is each team’s goal.”                                             to                  “Winning every year is each team’s goal.”

OR • Combine the above and rearrange sentence structure to

get rid of “to be” verbs (usually by moving subject noun nearerto the front of the sentence)

                      “Each team seeks victory every year.”

• Highlight your piece in alternating colors. Give one sentence one color. Give the next sentence a second color. Return to the first color.

      STEP 4: coding your syntax

• Telegraphic: shorter than 5 words in length

• Short: approximately 5 words• Medium: approx. 18 words• Long and involved: 30 or more

words

• Simple: An independent clause without additional modifying information (i.e. dependent clauses).o “Don’t open the door.”

• Compound: Two independent clauses joined by a coordinating conjunction.o “Don’t open the door or the deadly smell will kill you.“

• Complex: A combination of a dependent clause and an independent clause in some order (DC, IC or IC DC).o “If you walk to the top of the tower, you will find a sacred

sardine can.”

• Compound-complex: A combination of a compound and a complex sentence. o “Because the swamp is near your back door, you might

expect the Creature of the Black Lagoon to come and tear apart Uncle Al’s Fishin’ Shack because it’s in his way. “

• Many times, the placement of certain clauses is a matter of emphasis; grammatically, the clauses can and may be arranged correctly in any order.

• The most emphatic position in a sentence is often at or near the end, and the second most emphatic position is often the beginning of the sentence. Look for the placement of the independent clause, as it is usually the main point of the sentence and the point of emphasis.

• Think: what is being emphasized in the sentence? Why is this emphasized? How does the positioning (start, end, or middle) create that emphasis?

Styles of sentences: Loose and Periodic

• Loose sentence: independent clause followed by other stuff, usually DCs.

o She wore a yellow ribbon, which matched the shingles of the house, which were painted last year, just before he left for the war. (IC + DC)

o Effects: often moves quickly. A succession of these increases the overall “pace” of the writing. Often sounds crisp, businesslike, efficient.

Emphasis may be placed on the IC at the front. Ask: Why is this idea the one being emphasized? How does this placement contribute to the author’s purpose?

Ask: Why are the added dependent clauses there? What are they clarifying or modifying? Why clarify or modify these ideas? How do they contribute to the author’s purpose?

• Periodic Sentence: Sentence with several dependent clauses preceding independent clause. Independent clause appears right before the period. (DCs + IC)

o “While watching the cave and wondering why the rain had not stopped, nor taken any time to abate, the hero filed his fingernails and waited. “

o Effects: builds up to a final point. Since the IC is at the end, the emphasis comes at the end. Like parallel structure, often gathers momentum.

o Conversely, can “put off” the main point, making it seem less important than it may be.

o Often sounds balanced, deliberate, thoughtful.

o Ask: Why are the clauses in this order? How does this order (with emphasis usually at the end) help the author’s purpose?

• DC , IC (periodic): Including Introductory Material“Though he didn’t know it, she had a present for him.”“However, she forgot it at her house.”

• IC DC (loose)“She had a present for him though he didn’t know it.”

• IC ; IC (compound using semi-colon)“He didn’t know it; she had a present for him.”

• IC , FANBOY IC (compound using comma and coordinating conjunction)

“He didn’t know it, but she had a present for him.”

• IC . IC (two independent clauses that could be combined separated as sentences using period).

“He didn’t know it. She had a present for him.”

1. Look at the patterns in your highlighted sentences. Use these patterns to find sentences that follow the loose and periodic patterns. 2. Play around with the syntax—change loose sentences to periodic. Change periodic sentences to loose. Make changes on sticky notes or in the margins of your draft, and make sure I can see them easily. • Think: “What do I want or need to highlight in

this sentence in order to best convey my ideas? What is most important? What do I want to emphasize or downplay?”

APPLICATION FOR STEP 4: Syntax

1. Look for patterns to exploit or to alleviate. If you have many short, choppy sentences, but you didn’t intend on them, combine them. If you have many long, rambling sentences, break them up. Keep in mind the effect that you intend to create; the writing should convey your purpose to your intended audience.

2. Keep in mind that short, choppy sentences can be used intentionally to create emphasis or to mirror a character’s emotional state or evoke a certain emotional state from the reader, and for many other purposes.

APPLICATION FOR STEP 4, part 2: Sentence combining and separating

EXTREMELY IMPORTANT!

• Parallel Structure: A pattern of language that creates a rhythm of repetition. Can be parallel sentences or clauses within a sentence. o There are several varieties: we will discuss these when we

talk about schemes and tropes.

o EX: “We will fight them on the beaches, and fight them in the hills, and fight them in the forests, and in the villages of the dell“ (Churchill).

o EX: “Veni, vidi, vici; I came, I saw, I conquered” (Caesar).

o Effects: Works like a train gathering steam; creates emotional “steam” as it drives forward. Can also effectively create contrast and comparison of ideas:

see the opening to A Tale of Two Cities for a prime example.

Parallel Structure

• Can include words balancing words, phrases balancing phrases, clauses balancing clauses, and sentences balancing sentences.

• Read the passage from Patricia Williams, on page 65 of Everyday Use. Complete the activity at the bottom of that page in a small group. We will discuss your results.

Problems of Parallelism

• In order for a sentence to utilize parallel structure, all parts must be structured the same.

• “I wanted to bite, chop, and to devour.” 

o “I wanted to bite, chop, and devour.” OR

o “I wanted to bite, to chop, and to devour.”

        Check your parallel structure• "Faulty parallelism" is a pet peeve of AP graders and college

professors alike. Get used to checking your parallel structure or risk ticking off both groups in the future. 

• Make sure all clauses and phrases in a parallel structure are alike in their phrasing:

    IncorrectThe candidate's goals include winning the election, a national health program, and the educational system.CorrectThe candidate's goals include winning the election, enacting a national health program, and improving the educational system.IncorrectSome critics are not so much opposed to capital punishment as postponing it for so long.CorrectSome critics are not so much opposed to capital punishment as they are to postponing it for so long.

 • Find any and all examples of parallel structure in

your current draft. 

• Revise any faulty parallelism by adding in elements, removing elements, or changing elements (again, see what I did there?)

• Make sure your changes are obvious and that I can find them easily. 

• Remember this lesson. Faulty parallelism should not appear in  your work from this point forward!