Raising Our Parents

8/7/2019 Raising Our Parents

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Raising our Parents

Reda Bedeir, Ph.D.

Instructor, Almaghrib InstituteAssociate Professor, Al-Azhar University


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S tart with this story

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W hat do I get if I am kind to my

parents?Being dutiful to parents is one of the keys toenter Paradise

Abu Huraira reported Prophet Muhammad assaying: Let him be humbled into dust; let him behumbled into dust. It was said: God's Messenger,who is he? He said: He who witnesses either of his

parents during their old age or he sees both of them, but he does not enter Paradise (because hehas been undutiful to them). (Muslim)


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parents?Taking care of your parents is equal in reward toJihadIt is narrated that a man came to the Prophet asking hispermission to take part in Jihad. The Prophet askedhim, "Are your parents alive?" He replied in theaffirmative. The Prophet said to him, "Then exertyourself in their service." (Bukhari 4.248).

A man came to the Prophet and asked him for permission to join a military expedition. TheProphet asked him if he had a mother, and when hereplied that he had, he said, "Stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet." (Ahmad)


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parents?A way out of hardships and tribulations (storyof the three blocked in the cave)


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parents?Ex piation for sins (story of the aya that gooddeeds erase bad ones)


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parents?If you take an oath upon A llah, He wouldhonor it (story of Uwais Al Qarni)


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parents?A llah will alleviate your pains at death andwill guide you to JannahThe Prophet (peace be upon him) wasreported to have said, "If anyone possessesthese three characteristics Allah will give himan easy death and bring him into His Paradise:gentleness towards the weak, affectiontowards parents, and kindness to slaves."(Tirmidhi 3364)


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parents?It is the second most beloved act of worship in thesight of A llahI asked the Prophet " W hich deed is the dearest to

Allah?" He replied, "To offer the prayers at their earlystated fixed times." I asked, " W hat is the next (ingoodness)?" He replied, "To be good and dutiful toyour parents." I again asked, " W hat is the next (ingoodness)?" He replied, "To participate in Jihad(religious fighting) in Allah's cause." 'Abdullah added, "Iasked only that much and if I had asked more, theProphet would have told me more." (Bukhari 1.505).


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W hat are the consequences if I amdisobedient?

The most dreadful major sin

The Prophet, peace be upon him, said thrice,

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hall I not inform you of the biggest of thegreat sins?... (Bukhari)


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Allah will not look at you on the day of judgment


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Depravation form Jannah


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The wrath of Allah


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How can I be good and kind to myparents?

T reat parents with honour& speak to them graciously & with humilityThy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honour. And, out of kindness, lower to them the wing of humility, and say: My Lord! Bestow on them thy Mercy even as they cherished me inchildhood. (17:23)

KindnessBest treatmentHumbleness and mercyDuaafor themObedience to them exceptBe grateful to parents but do not obey them if they strive to make you associate things with God

...Be grateful to Me and to both your parents; to Me is the eventual coming. But if they strive to make thee join in worship with Me things of which thou hast no knowledge, obey them not;yet bear them company in this life with justice (and consideration), and follow the way of those who turn to me (in love): in the end the return of you all is to Me, then will I inform you of what you did (31:15)Be good to parents and everyone else who you meetServe God, and join not any partners with Him; and do good- to parents, kinsfolk, orphans, those in need, neighbours who are near, neighbours who are strangers, the companion by your side, the wayfarer (ye meet), and what your right hands possess: For God loveth not the arrogant, the vainglorious;- (4:36)

HadithMu athAfter their deathA cts of kindness we can do for our parents after their deathWhile we were with Prophet Muhammad of God . A man of Banu Salmah came to Him and said: Apostle of God is there any kindness left that I can do to my parents after their death? Hereplied: Yes, you can invoke blessings on them, forgiveness for them, carry out their final instructions after their death, join ties of relationship which are dependent on them, and honour their friends. (Abu Dawood)

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W hat if my parents are not Muslims?

There is also a hadith that tells us that Asma' bintAbi Bakr was visited in Madinah by her paganmother. This was at a time when the pagan

Quraish had a treaty with the Muslims. Asma'asked the Prophet (peace and blessings be uponhim) how she should treat her mother. Heinstructed her to treat her mother kindly. He

(peace be upon him) said: "Yes, do an act of kindness to her " (Al-Bukhari, Muslim and AbuDawud).


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W hat is wrong today in the relationshipbetween children & parents?

My parents do not understand meThey do not have time for meI need a role model at home but I can not findI learnt professional lying at homeYou are wondering why I am not praying, there is no doing this at home

You are wondering why I drink: because all me friends doW hy I am not married till now: because my father gave me two options: to marrymy cousin or my cousinThanks to TV, movies and bad company for all the bad characters that I haveMy role models are celebrities in sports and moviesW hy I don t understand the Qur an: my father s main concern that I must be aphysician or an engineerMy parents have no clue to the challenges facing meEven when Allah guided me my father is against me attending halaqas or wearing abeardMy mother does not want me to wear the hijab till I marry


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W hat are the rights of children

Choosing the right mother upon marriage

Choosing a good name

Best care and educationProviding for their needs

Being just among them in everything


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S tories of parents

The man who saw Mu awyia in his childhoodMother of Imam Shafi e

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Introduction

Do you know?

Are you grateful to your parents?

W hat are the rights of the parentsW hat is the problem today?

Perform your duties b4 you claim your rightsIf you abuse your rights, you lose them


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Are you grateful to your parents?

Abu Burda and Abdullah ibn Omar

No child repays his parent fully unless he

finds him a slave, then he buys him and setshim free. (Bukhari)


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D isobedience to parents is a major sin Anas narrated from Prophet Muhammad about the major sins. He (Mohammed) observed: Associating anyonewith God, disobedience to parents, killing a person and false utterance. (Muslim)O ne of the dearest deeds to God is being good & dutiful to parentsN arrated 'Abdullah: I asked the Prophet "Which deed is the dearest to God?" He replied, "To offer the prayers at their early stated fixed times." I asked, "What is the next (in goodness)?" He replied, "To be good and dutiful to your

parents"...(Bukhari)Being dutiful to parents is one of the keys to enter Paradise

Abu Huraira reported Prophet Muhammad as saying: Let him be humbled into dust; let him be humbled into dust. It was said: God's Messenger, who is he? He said: He who sees either of his parents during their old age or he seesboth of them, but he does not enter Paradise (because he has been undutiful to them). (Muslim)A cts of kindness we can do for our parents after their deathWhile we were with Prophet Muhammad of God . A man of Banu Salmah came to Him and said: Apostle of God isthere any kindness left that I can do to my parents after their death? He replied: Yes, you can invoke blessings onthem, forgiveness for them, carry out their final instructions after their death, join ties of relationship which aredependent on them, and honour their friends. (Abu Dawood)T he High Status given to Mothers

A man came to the Prophet and asked him for permission to join a military expedition. The Prophet asked him if hehad a mother, and when he replied that he had, he said, "Stay with her, for Paradise is at her feet." (Ahmad)


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Raising Our Parents