RADM Sandra Kweder, MD, FACPRADM Sandra Kweder, MD, FACPUS Public Health ServiceUS Public Health ServiceOffice of New Drugs, FDA

Effective Communication Gets Results

Communication and Negotiation Communication and Negotiation are relatedare related

• Bidirectional• Must adapt to situation context• Interpersonal skills essential• Require iteration and continuous

modification• High level of skill essential for

strong leadership• Gender neutral

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HHS Leadership Core HHS Leadership Core CompetencyCompetency

“Interpersonal Skills”

Considers and responds appropriately to the needs, feelings, and capabilities of different people in different situations

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8 Key Behaviors 8 Key Behaviors

1. Listens attentively to peoples’ ideas and concerns

2. Responds to others’ verbalized concerns and feelings

3. Asks questions to clarify others’ concerns and feelings

4. Plans and prepares by anticipating others’ reactions

5. Uses non-verbal cues and body language to identify and interpret others’ concerns and feelings

6. Responds to others’ unspoken concerns and feelings

7. Acknowledges others’ concerns and feelings, in spite of disagreement

8. Approaches others about sensitive issues in non-threatening ways

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Proficiency Levels Proficiency Levels Who do you know who meet Who do you know who meet these?these?

• Expert: Models, leads, trains, and motivates multiple levels of personnel to be excellent in interpersonal awareness.

• Advanced: Habitually uses non-verbal cues and body language to interpret others’ feelings and respond to their unspoken concerns, acknowledges others’ concerns in spite of disagreement, and approaches others about sensitive issues in non-threatening ways.

• Intermediate: Usually uses non-verbal cues and body language to interpret others’ feelings and respond to their unspoken concerns, acknowledges others’ concerns in spite of disagreement, and approaches others about sensitive issues in non-threatening ways.

• Basic: Sometimes listens attentively and responds to peoples’ concerns and feelings, asks questions to clarify them, and plans and prepares by anticipating others’ reactions.

• Awareness: Demonstrates common knowledge or understanding of interpersonal awareness, but may avoid or miss opportunities to elicit, notice, interpret, and anticipate others’ concerns and feelings

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Case Study – how would your react?Case Study – how would your react?

• George is charged with writing a policy document that affects multiple offices in the organization. He receives many comments, with one that is especially negative. He doesn’t agree. He submits the paper forward without addressing the concern with the person or office who submitted it.

• The negative comment is yours. What are you thinking?

• What would you do?• George is your boss• George is your peer• You are George’s boss

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Goals of this SessionGoals of this Session

• Recognize what your limiting perceptions are and how they are formed

• Understand negative and positive intention

• Consider Tools to transform negative perceptions into productive behaviors including “Real Conversations”

• Learn something about yourself • Consider how you utilize and

develop communication skills

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CommunicationCommunication

• Bidirectional – not just broadcasting a message

• Listening is critical How you listen paints a picture of the

speaker – and will direct your actions

• What is your filter or wall?

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How do you listen?How do you listen?Assuming intent…Assuming intent…

By All

IntentPositive

• Your filter or wall is a choice • It is affected by who you are and where you fit in the

relationship.• It is an assumption of intent• George acted as he did because _______.

• Assuming positive intent is a key principle of how a good leader communicates – and negotiates.

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Positive Intent – Yours and Theirs

What is thought and felt What is said and done

Do you … see negative intent?Do you … see negative intent?

When someone begins to speak…are you

• Hunting for clues?• What is wrong with that person? • Looking for differences among views to take a side?

• Seeking to judge?• “He did this because he loves being difficult.”

• Do you tend to – • Attack – “He is such an instigator.”• Condescend or dismiss – “He’s a jerk and not very

bright.” • Be defensive and protecting of your view?

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Organizational cultures often foster this. If yours does,

DON”T.

Do you…see positive intent ?Do you…see positive intent ?

The bedrock of good interpersonal skills – assume it.

• Find– or invent – an intent that person wants to be constructive?o “He probably intended to talk with me and never got to

it.”o “I don’t know why he acted that way, but I know that he

wants this to be done right.”• Be curious?

o Why would he act that way when he knows he can come to me?

• Seek to understand world from his or her perspective?o No matter how difficult?

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Hint: Culture of origin may matter, but don’t assume

Seeing intent requires self awareness

When things go awry, how do you react?What do you see in the mirror?What triggers your emotions? Hits your wall?

Good interpersonal skills, require Good interpersonal skills, require one to be SELF AWAREone to be SELF AWARE

• Emotion is commonly part of our own wall and it makes for a hard wall o Contagiouso Anger is #1 o Defenses kick in quickly –

watch out• Emotion is DRAMA

o Check your emotion before it overtakes you

• No room for drama in high quality communications

• Drama when trying to negotiate is risky – signals loss of situation control.

• Strong leaders don’t employ drama

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Leadership Triangles Model Leadership Triangles Model of Behaviorof Behavior

Drama

Leadership

Behaviors vs interpersonal skills?

• Behaviors of leaders are a reflection of their ability to employ constructive interpersonal skills

• Every behavior is a choiceo We all have our own tendencies in

making those choices

• Positive, leadership oriented skills and behaviors – or not

The Drama TriangleThe Drama Triangle

DRAMADRAMA

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The Adversary The Victim

The Rescuer

The RescuerThe Rescuer

• Lets things to go haywire o So they can come in and fix

• Do not trust otherso Don’t believe in others’ strengthso “if I want something done right…”

• Sweep in at last minute• May even hijack credit

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Victim BehaviorVictim Behavior

• Drains energy with their indirect way of dealing with issues and people

• Avoid conflict• Whine and complain – in the background• Blame others

“Management is not setting a good example”

• Excuses are their default communication• Passive aggressive behavior

o Do not express verbally what is affecting them but do it through behavior

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The AdversaryThe Adversary

• Top dog • Bully, coerce, pressure

o Won’t let up till have their way• Dominate and control

o Often center stage, entertainingo Sarcasm is a key tool

• At all costs, blame otherso Easily points out flaws

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The Leadership TriangleThe Leadership Triangle

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Visionary

CoachCatalyst

VisionaryVisionary

• Can develop and communicate a vision of the future in such that members of the team are charged with positive emotion and imagination

o Sees real possibilities in tough situationso Speaks the future into existenceo Has a compelling direction

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CatalystCatalyst

• Initiates or accelerates a reaction. Communicates in a way that causes an important event to happen, like a leader who acts as a catalyst to unite the team.

o Gets things moving – instill a sense of urgency

o Passionate and not afraid to acto Inspires innovation & purposeful actiono Gets individuals and organizations to change

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CoachCoach

• Sees the strengths in others and operates in a way to bring out their best.

• Believes in people - commits to their success

• Develops others and celebrate their growth

• Role model for giving and receiving feedback

• Delivers tough messages in a constructive and supportive way

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Can coaching behavior apply if George is your Peer?

Supervisor?

Food for thoughtFood for thought

DRAMA

• What triggers you to operate in this triangle?

• Have you benefitted from being there?

• Do you prefer to work with colleagues who operate this way?

Write down the name of someone….

BossPeerEmployee

LEADERSHIP

• What triggers you to operate in this triangle?

• Have you benefitted from being there?

• Do you prefer to work with colleagues who operate this way?

Write down the name of someone….

BossPeerEmployee

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One of these sounds less One of these sounds less stressful, so how do I make it stressful, so how do I make it work?work?

• Sometimes the wall needs to be a mirror

• Think about how you are responding

• Who is the leader you want to be?

• Manage your state of mind before you communicate

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What will it take to keep you out of What will it take to keep you out of the drama triangle and up here? the drama triangle and up here?

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Visionary

CoachCatalyst

The assumption of

Positive intent

I know he is really trying to do the right thing.

His behavior is

not professional

, but….

I won’t go into that lower triangle…

The role of communicationThe role of communication

• Quality communication is an essential ingredient to high quality and effective leadership.

• It is possible only when working in the blue zone o Or moving others

toward it

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Drama

Leadership

Quality communication is Quality communication is deliberate deliberate

• Straight talk o Go to whom have issue with o No substituteso Period

• Frame your issue/statemento State your positive intentions more than once

Rule of 7o Listen and assume the other person’s positive

intent

• Acknowledge & Verifyo Be authentic and specific

How you feel on a personal levelo Verify that message is understood

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Quality communication is Quality communication is personalpersonal

• Assume positive intent of the other party and demonstrate it yourself.

• Speak in 1st persono what happened and how you interpreted ito Seek to understando Ask what was going on for them

• Clean upo Apologize if you were wrong or caused harm,

even if only bruised feelingso Agree to correct – and expect being on probation

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What gets results is What gets results is interpersonalinterpersonal

• Be fully present in any conversation, especially the hard ones

• The little ones matter o In the cafeteriao In the hallo In the parking lot

• Telling the truth• A two-way

conversation

Basics build trust

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Finally – don’t miss the bodyFinally – don’t miss the body

• Read body language ADDRESS IT o Eyes and handso Say things the voice can’t o Watch triggers of emotions

• Cues and commentso You seem nervous…o I know this is uncomfortable…o Have you already decided what needs to happen?

• Use your own body language

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Case Study – how would your react?Case Study – how would your react?

• Sally is charged with writing a policy document that affects multiple offices in the organization. She receives many comments, with one that is especially negative. She doesn’t agree. She submits the paper forward without addressing the concern with the person or office who submitted it.

• The negative comment is yours. What are you thinking? What would you do• Sally is your boss• Sally is your peer• You are Sally’s boss

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But wait!

George or Sally?Does it make a difference?

Summary Summary

• Self-awareness is essential to good interpersonal skillso What is your wall? o Your filter? o Your tendency?o How being a woman affects your communication and

style with women and men

• Assuming positive intention is a choiceo Facilitates quality communication o Essential feature of strong leadershipo Go negative at your peril

• Use tools to assure good conversationso Assume positive intento Listen – conversations are two wayo Nonjudgmental straight talk

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Know thyself & where your world Know thyself & where your world view comes from.view comes from.

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