PredictionsRA Softball League

2451 Riverside Drive, Ottawa, Ontario K1H 7X7 • 613.733.5100 • www.racentre.com

Hello EVERYONE!

Fishtales was lured by summer holidays, and we’re half-way or more into the season, but our annual Predictions newsletter is back to poke some tongue in cheek fun at our teams.

We’ve said it before, but if you’re the type to get bent out of shape for being ribbed on, you probably want to skip these predictions entirely.

If you can handle some good-natured, irreverent joking at your expense, read on!

Some teams may end up playing in another division come playoff time, but these predictions cover the divisions as they stand now.

We expanded the number of teams for an eighth consecutive season and we now have 126 teams and over 1,800 players playing.

See you around the diamonds.

League Co-Ordinator.

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August 2014

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SLO PITCH AQUA AThe top five of six all can win, with Body is a Shield, BIAS, to winning more often. The Jokers, having plenty of ‘batmen’, are ‘robin’ teams of runs, and have ‘riddled’ their way into the pack. T-Ballers are playing grown-up games except when they’re wearing Wacky Outfits. The Grasshoppers, as quickly as they can, are trying to snatch wins out of everyone else’s hands. Toxic, who are new to the league, are right in the mix polluting the pool.

Unfortunately, the Outlaws were stripped of their guns when they walked into Dodge, and look to finish in the division’s jail.

Grasshoppers won it last year but they’re going to hop over the championship this season and won’t be repeating. Body is a Shield will try to protect a win and is going to play against T-Ballers. The T-Ballers are going to grow fast and find themselves champions once again, winning it in the 3rd game on an unforced error.

SLO PITCH AQUA B

Last year we picked those Sons of Pitches to win, but the Sons of Pitches let us down, so we aren’t picking them this year.

The Babes they may be, but they’re in the wrong division and their 7-0 record would be better suited for the ‘A’ level. The Breaking Bats are busting out with a 5-2 record and there are no splinters in their D, either. We also have the Mighty Ducks who have a quacky mix of talent; the Brown Sox whose offense is dirty in a bad way; and the Capital City Ninjas who are like turtles on their backs. There’s nothing stealthy about the Ninjas bottom-placed position.

We’re calling the Breaking Bats with new lumber, will defeat the Mighty Ducks in two straight, as quacked as that is.

2

SLO PITCH AQUA CTough call here! Four teams have a legitimate shot at the crown. I’d Hit That Two is always looking for what appeals to them and right now, that’s first in the standings. But the Havana Dogs seemed to have found the right level to play at after being mongrels the past couple of seasons. And the Ruthless Babes don’t want to take pity on anyone.

While they can’t get no Batisfaction at .500, this team won’t challenge for the title this year.

Feedbag, new to the league this season, unfortunately is fodder for the other horses ahead of them in the standings; while the Sneaky Slammers are blatantly giving up too many runs.

Says here the crown’s beauty is going to entice I’d Hit That Two to talk sweet to her and bring her home.

SLO PITCH AQUA D Pat Casey sits alone atop the division and we can remember the times when they were barely able to win a game. That’s what happens when you stick to it. Pitches Be Crazy are right on PC’s heels, and it would be nuts to write them off as possible champs.

With three new teams in the league, Hendry Warren Current Liabilities, who have the right stuff but are still adjusting to new surroundings, Team OConnells, who could use some luck of the Irish, and We Got the Runs, too many of them in the ‘Against’ department, are all in a learning curve and won’t threaten for a championship this year. And Those Guys are in with these guys.

Champions will be Pat Casey when they beat Pitches Be Crazy in Game 2 by four runs.

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SLO PITCH ORANGE A“More rain, please!”

All of the Tuesday night Orange divisions suffered a month of non-playing thanks to Mother Nature and our beloved Canada Day, but we’ve managed to play half a season to date.

Lumberjacks ‘toque’ over first place for now, but perennial hard sticks Woodies are right behind, poking their bats at them. Meat Lasagna have filled their plate, as well, and want to ‘pasta’ the other two; while The Closers are keeping the door open. Veterans XYZ would be an alpha bet to win, and Sidewinders are slithering through a tough season.

Until someone proves me wrong, we’ll see two of the strongest teams in our entire league hooking up for a colossal battle with Woodies and Lumberjack playing in the Finals.

Woodies win it in the third game on a grand salami in the bottom of the 8th.

SLO PITCH ORANGE BUnfortunately, the ‘B’ group haven’t even played half a season, so it’s still a little early for this, but we’ll do it anyway.

Max’s Moaning Mooses finally seemed to be cow-calling to the right partner, first place and a very good season so far. But everyone else is showing signs of life, with “Pitch, Please!” begging to play, The Walk Offs needing to get on, Deloitte Dynamos looking to explode, the Grass Stains trying not to wash out, and Infield Flies with runners on 2nd and 3rd and no wins.

This could be the year Moaning Mooses rutt their way to the championship. They’ll play “Pitch, Please!” and win it in the 3rd game by a 10-7 score

SLO PITCH ORANGE CAnother division who’s not quite at the half-way point, but it looks like three teams have the inside edge. Amazingly, after 5 games, all the teams are within 5 RF with each other, so if this trend continues, it will be defense that will determine the champions.

In that case, the edge has to go to Fouled-Balls and The Rivals. The crystal ball is cloudy, but through the murk we see The Rivals wining the crown when they tag the lead Foul-Balls runner out at third.

3

SLO PITCH ORANGE DRight now, Bats Outta’ Hell have the platinum hit with first place solidly covered. Inglorious Batters are hoping to smash their way to the top and carve their initials into the crown, and outside of them, the other teams don’t look ready to challenge for prime time.

Tragically Unprepared still are; Short Bus can’t carry enough; Beerzookas are bombed; and Deloitte Dragons have already been slayed.

Bats Outta’ Hell may need to play up a level for the playoffs, which leaves Inglorious Batters to clean up.

SLO PITCH BROWN AThis is a three team race. Already eliminated are Les P’Tits Counes, R.G.L.B.P. and, dang it, Tang-IT.

The Dingers are hitting it out of the park, while Minor Leaguers are finally playing major league again. Ice Cold Pitchers are trying to freeze out the other two, and hope to chug from the chalice.

Dingers and Minor Leaguers are going to see each other in the Finals with the Dingers, after a struggle, repeating as champions when they win in Game 3 on a two-run double by their fourth male in the batting order.

SLO PITCH BROWN BThis division is another 3 and 3, with three teams contending and three team forced to play cheerleaders.

From the sidelines, we have the Tornadoes who, at .500, seem to be twisting in the wind; Ball Handlers whose defence treats the ball like it’s a hot potato; and Lowered Expectations who are playing up to their name.

On the ‘Hey, we have a shot at it’ side, we have I’d Hit That, who’s eyeing that crown like it’s a piece of meat; Ghostballers who are scary good on D; and, in a continuing climb to the heavens, good ole Funky McMonkies. The Funky M’s and their uncle currently sit in first place, and have gone from a team that couldn’t win when they started in the league, to Champions of the ‘D’ div last season, promoted from the ‘C’ this year, to top chimp at the moment. Can those chimps be champs?

It looks as though it will be Ghostballers and the Funky Bunch in the Finals, with the Ghostballers haunting the McMonkies Mcdreams. Ghosties win on a dropped fly ball to centre field.

SLO PITCH BROWN CThis is the tightest division in the league and it’s a pure guess on who’ll win the championship.

Brew Jays could drink it up, Young Guns could blast to the top, Brass Monkeyz Old School could throw a frat party, Hard Bats Soft Balls could pop up to the top, and the Hitmen could do a job, all and any of which could win the crown. Unfortunately for the Pharm Team, they seem to be too sedated to join the party.

Young Guns and Old School are going to meet in a generational battle, with the Guns winning in a shootout after Old Schools possible winning run stumbles coming around third.

SLO PITCH BROWN DThe Badabings badabanged out of the gate, and the Upper Deckers in the lower tier, are both sitting up high.

The Designated Drinkers are stumbling around like they’ve had one too many, while Incognito are in disguise as contenders. Moutons Noir is having some baaaad results, and the Blue Ballers need some relief from their 0-fer season to date.

Upper Deckers look good enough to move up to ‘C’. If they don’t, they’ll be champions.

SLO PITCH This is a very well matched division and five teams have a legitimate chance at being champions.

The Lush Puppies have a sobering 7-2 record and lead the pack, but are followed closely by Minor Imperfections who is a small glitch of a point behind. La Meute are right there in the pack, while Body is a Shield have no bias as to who they want to beat; and SAMCRO are ‘riding in this world, but aren’t all alone’. The Swingers II want out and are looking for the keys to get back into the ‘B’ division.

Minor Imperfections are going to have a major championship when the beat Lush Puppies in the Finals of Game 3 by scoring a 4-run, top of the 7th inning comeback.

SLO PITCH No one’s a favourite here. The Tie Fighters are winning more than losing; the Brew Jays II are guzzling up enough points to stay very much in the roost; Purple Penguins have waddled their way to near the top; Brass Monkeyz balls are on the plus size of RF/RA, but are their bats solid enough to carry them to more scoring? The Diamond Dusters need to clean up all parts of their game; and Kichesippis Kids, while they make sweet tasting beer, have brewed an ugly O-fer record to date.

“Offence puts people in the stands, but defense wins championships” so we’re going with Purple Penguins to wear the championship tux.

SLO PITCH Four of the six teams are new to the league and it seems the Brawlers have the best fighting chance at winning it all. But the Incredi-balls are lurking like a quiet bunch of superheroes just waiting to be called upon to save the championship for themselves.

Then there are the Bal der Dashers, oh, come on! Filthy Animals, whose record is a pig’s pen; The Runs, who defecated all over the RF department; and Alcoballix, who need a 12-point program just to get them back in the hunt.

If the Brawlers aren’t moved up, they win it. If they are, then the Incredi-balls will win the championship for all the world to see.

4

3 PITCH “A”Brady Wheeler, rest his soul, would be proud as punch to see his namesake crew sitting on top with an unblemished 8-0 record. But they might need a little divine help before it’s all over.

Capital Orthotics Hooligans play footloose and fancy free and are the bad boys when it comes to reporting their scores, so we aren’t really sure how they’re doing; Begonias are in the hunt and waiting to bloom; DD & G has programmed their software to stay in the mix; and B.Poulsen (We Got the Runs II), and B-Team are ‘B’ teams and will likely play in that level come playoff time.

C.T. Brady Bunch and Cap. Ortho Hooligans will meet up for the Finals with the Brady Bunch one big happy family when they win the championship once again. Brady’s will cruise to a 16-12 win in Game 2.

3 PITCH “B”This is a 5-team division that will have 7 teams come playoff time, but it won’t matter as it looks like Underhanded will keep everything above board and win the title.

Here for Beer may show up to taste some suds from the cup, but they’re going to have to keep those hopes in the cooler for this year; Base Side Tigers occasionally show some claw, but they’re too tame to roar to a championship; Pitch Slapped get smacked around so much, we aren’t sure if their uniforms are blue or if that’s just bruising? Red, rover, red rover, someone send a win on over!

And poor ole Capital ‘A’ Amateurs are O-fer to date, but didn’t have any lofty expectations coming in. They’ve got a great attitude, and on the bright side, they may set a record for the biggest negative differential in RF / RA in the past decade. So they have that going for them!

We already called it, Underhanded will play it straight and be the champs, knocking off Here For Beer in three games.

5

SLO PITCH AMBERBee Atchs, with a no-loss record to date, are a dirty word to everyone else in the division. But Where My Pitches At are finding the plate with more wins than losses, and can challenge for the crown. The Rivals II also appear to be a team that could pull off a championship, too.

Roger Dorn’s are sort of out of reach, and it doesn’t look like they’re willing to dive for it; the Bag Stompers can’t put their foot on it; Foul-Balls need to manscape the RA; Suds, Buds & Windmills are struggling to score; and new friends and teammates, Blue Devils have yet to conjure up a win, but have heart.

Bee Atchs are going to sting everyone and win the championship.

SLO PITCH BLACK AAny one of five teams can win the championship. Mo’ Runs, have that in the RF / RA department; Closers are shutting the door on anyone beating them; Diamond Cougars are scratching out lots of runs; ITAGPROMO.com are finding creative ways to stay in the hunt; and Homers II are .500 but need to up the long ball quotient.

Unfortunately, the Dirty Diamonds are a mess, and will need to wait until next season to clean things up.

Mo’ Runs and Diamond Cougars will meet up and this year, “Mo’ Mo’ Mo’, how do you like it, how do you like it?” Mo’ Mo’ Mo’ Runs will win the championship.

SLO PITCH BLACK BIt’s a one horse race right now with Pitches Be Loco insanely holding the reins. There are three ‘maybe’s’, with Smoking Aces needing to decide if they’re going all in, NavCan Storm checking the Doppler to see if clear weather is ahead, and Hungry Hippos willing to chew up the opposition, but are they good enough to win it all?

Ballnado are as good as the movie they modelled their name after, and it would take a lot of different ways to kill the sharks above them if they wanted to win the crown. And the Sluggers have hit it way out of the park, the opposite way! The only ‘downtown’ they’re going is to the bars.

Pitches Be Loco are a lock unless they get moved up and if that happens, Nav Can Storm are going to find the nice weather on the top of the mountain.