issue 85 • 7/02/11 • www.qmu.org.ukqmunicate

F******m:a dirty word?

This issue, I’m going to use this space to explain why the QM Board have decided to back Charles Kennedy in his campaign to be re-elected as Lord Rector of the University. Whilst later in the issue you’ll find impartial information about the election and candidates, the decision to back Charles was not one the Board took lightly, and it’d be unfair not to justify why we made it.

In making our decision on the Board’s position during the upcoming election, we spent a lot of time discussing what would be best for the QM, and what would be best for the members, before eventually realising these are one and the same. The QM Board of Management decided to support Charles Kennedy as we felt it important that someone was elected who would be able to represent members of the QM, as well as the wider student population, in the most effective way possible.

Charles has a proven track record of active student representation, through his surgeries and more recently from the regular meetings with the heads of the student bodies. Whilst it has taken time to develop an active, working relationship between the Rector and the QM, his efforts thus far have made a significant difference in both dealings with the University’s Senior Management Group, as well cross-campus relationships.

The Board also discussed Charles’ experience in the position, and the advantage that grants him over his competitor. With the University currently undergoing a spending review and the first of the suggested cuts due just days before the Rector election, it’s important that

students have a Rector who is able to voice any feedback over those cuts to the University confidently, and without any transitional hangover. It’s also important for the QM, as we continue to have to justify ourselves to the University and fight for funding. Representing the students of this University is a job that needs doing, and it’s a job which won’t wait. Charles has become a respected voice amongst the University’s senior officials and the value his influence has can’t be underestimated.

Finally, the Board had a lot of respect for Charles, for being unafraid of making himself unpopular in order to uphold his and the students’ values by voting against the Coalition Government in the Tuition Fees referendum last year. Charles defying his own party to vote against the increase in England was a clear sign of his willingness to act in the best interest of students. His influence in Westminster and profile on a national level are both assets which would prove invaluable as Rector.

I hope you can appreciate why the Board decided that Charles Kennedy is the best candidate for Rector in the upcoming election, and why we’d urge you to re-elect him on the 21st/22nd February.

As always, if you’ve any questions, comments or complaints, fire me an email on president@qmu.org.uk or come see me in the Union.

Cheers

Iain

View From The Top

ContentsNews

4 • Coming up at the QM5 • SRC Suspends Guardian Funding

6 • Constitutional Crisis; Ballot Box7 • Rector Election

Features8 • iScam?

9 • Colum Fraser10 & 11• Feminism: a dirty word?

12 • A warning to secessionists13 • Tennis: Rule Brittania?

Reviews14 • Live15 • CDs16 • Film

17 • Arts & Culture18 • Tech

4 • qmunicate qmunicate • 5N

news

Thursdays • 9pm • Jim’s Bar

Coming soon...

The QM • Friday 25th February • 9pm-3am*

Mardi Gras can thank Lent for its origins, but in more recent times it has become synonymous with colour, music and dancing, being the basis for the phrase “laissez les bons temps rouler” – let the good times roll. It’s a time where we put on some good tunes, have a little boogie and wear lots of ridiculous colourful plastic beads… and what better way to do this than at Mardi Gras Cheesy Pop?!

Now in its fourth year, Cheesy Pop returns in 2011 to present you with Mardi Gras! In previous years, DJ Toast has always been accompanied by percussion, but this year we are going all out.

2011 sees the return of That Drummer That DJ. If you weren’t lucky enough to catch this duo during Freshers’ Week 2010, you do not want to miss out the second time round. The video from that show, supporting Pendulum, has become an internet smash and saw the boys perform many more sold out shows across the country and beyond.

Mardi Gras Cheesy Pop

news

Unplugged Competition

Following a reliable SRC source letting slip to several qmunicaters at a recent QM event that tension between the SRC and the Glasgow Guardian was at breaking point, it has emerged that the student newspaper has had its funding, and therefore print run, indefinitely suspended.

This news was delivered to more of the student population via facebook on the 26th January by the notorious sleuths at Glasgow Hack who stated the current termination of the paper derived from “repeated failures from the editors to respond to emails and phone calls”, as well as poor upkeep of paperwork, including accounts.

More official sources speaking about the incident, including Luke Winter, the SRC Vice President for Media & Communications, have confirmed that the decision by the SRC to temporarily cease printing was a result of “a breakdown in communication” with the current editorial team. The relationship between the SRC and the current editors has become increasingly distant since an incident involving former editor Graeme Allister.

Criticism has also been levied at the Guardian in recent times for its sporadic and infrequent publishing schedule. There’s been no issue yet this term, and only a handful were published last term. The last issue’s print date is listed as 8th December, two months ago.

Another failing of the paper seems to stem from their woeful lack of internal structure.

Hosting two editors in chief and a number of sub-editors to bring the larger portion of content as well as doing all the editorial side, no formal system is in place to insure a training programme for new talent. As a resultof this, when a former team graduates, the paper is left the daunting task of simultaneously training and printing.

Guardian music editor, Nick Biggs, is worried for the paper’s future. “I don’t understand how the paper has survived this long without a written constitution or set of bye laws. There’s absolutely nothing to safe-guard against abuses of power or general incompetence. I don’t think the current crop of editors are especially culpable, there just hasn’t been any means of sustaining or improving standards. And it now seems the SRC have their excuse to cut their expenditure by moving the paper online.”

When it was suggested that the history and tradition of the newspaper was enough to ensure future generations remained dedicated to producing quality coverage, Biggs stated “It’s wonderful that pride and respect has produced a commitment to high standards in the past, but it simply isn’t a realistic basis for maintaining standards across succeeding generations of editors.”

The SRC have stated in their joint formal statement with the paper that despite the Guardian’s proud editorial independence, it is within their constitutional right to revoke funding for the paper, a right they seemed

to want to make clear was integeral to the production of the paper.

The Guardian joined qmunicate this year at the Herald Scottish Student Press Awards and scooped up 3 out of a possible 4 awards at the ceremony including Student Journalist of the Year. The suspension of the paper has therefore shocked many of its readers and writers who were left in the dark until the last minute.

The suggestion that the paper was struggling was apparent in the recent SRC Media Week, as the Guardian did not host any events for the occasion, and was the only one of the four SRC media outlets to not appear on Media Week publicity.

Since the official statement was released, more details have emerged of the motivation behind the SRC’s decision. It has been suggested to qmunicate that the suspension of funding is merely a scare tactic by the sabbatical officers to shock the newspaper into shape. It’s hoped the drastic measure will force current Guardian editors to solve the problems afflicting the historic organ.

Sources at the very top of the existing hierarchy of the paper wanted to reiterate that the suspension of funds is only temporary and they are currently undergoing work with the SRC in order to sort out the miscommunication problems. Until that time the paper has resorted to using their website in an effort to ensure that the student body is kept informed on Glasgow’s current affairs.

SRC Suspend Guardian PrintingLucy Howell reports on the newspaper’s issues.

Fairtrade Fortnight

Unplugged, the QM’s very own Open Mic night, has gone from strength to strength this year. Last semester saw a brilliantly

successful Unplugged competition, in which winner Claire McKay walked away with the top prize of a shiny new guitar,

and it was so good that we’ve decided to do another one!

Two heats, on 10th and 24th February, will see competitors sign up for the competition and take their place on the stage,

where they will battle it out in front of our panel of impartial judges for a place in the semi-final on March 10th. The pick of

the semi-finalists will then prepare to play some killer tunes at the Unplugged Super Final on March 24th, where we’ve

teamed up with cc music to make sure that the winner goes home with a kick-ass prize.

If you’re interested in taking part, you can sign up at either of the first heats or at regular Unplugged on the 17th. We’ll also

be getting some special guests along on the weeks in between, so whether you’re out to win or just want to see some great

talent, get along to Unplugged!

28th February-13th MarchCome the 28th of February, it shall again be Fairtrade Fortnight. This event was introduced onto campus by the QM’s Support and Services Committee several years ago and, following a campaign that started in the Union and spread outwards, the University of Glasgow currently holds full Fairtrade status with its own staff-student steering group. The status comes with stipulations however, and has to be renewed each year; this makes sure that all University clothing and merchandise are fairly traded and all campus shops constantly stock fairly traded coffee, cola and chocolate.

During Fairtrade Fortnight, there are many campaigns and promotions, tasters and fundraisers across the University campus dedicated to the cause of fair wages and trading prices for producers in some of the most destitute countries on the globe.

Though lately the issue of Fairtrade has become a controversial topic of heated debate regarding the environmental impact of importing such commodities, it remains important to make a difference any way we can.Keep your eye out in coming weeks for any sneaky Fairtrade additions to our regular events, and for ways in which you can support the Fairtrade campaign. If you have any suggestions, contributions or if you would like to become more involved in the QM and University’s Fairtrade campaigns, come along to the Support and Services Committee, held every Monday at 5pm in the QM Board Room.

*subject to licence

with

6 • qmunicate qmunicate • 7

represent. The argument for money, education and public services may be strong in the UK (and rightfully so), but it’s nothing to what’s flowing out of a nation that has been oppressed, and suppressed, simply to encourage Western tourists into its borders, bringing their fat dollars and pounds. These protests are pure. They are not economically driven (in the large sense that Obama, sadly, hastened to emphasise) but are driven by both poor man and rich man, in unison for the right of the people, that democratic right that we British folk take for granted, the simple right to be represented in government by swine who have similar beliefs.

As I write, the Egyptian government is in an absolute shambles, the cabinet has called it quits and headed to the nearest bar to get fucked up on spirits of godly percentages, while President Mubarak is bringing in anyone he feels may wish to share a pint with him (or reap the unlikely spoils of being a minister in his self-made poor house). The former head of Egyptian Intelligence, Omar Suleiman is now vice-President, and the former air-chief commander, Ahmed Shafik is taking up the role of prime minister for example.

It’s a beautiful thing in many ways. Something that people in the UK may never understand until they visit these places and witness the

oppression that savage swine impose upon nations they are gifted with the charge of.

Don’t be foolish enough to dismiss this as just another North African scandal. We have already seen Tunisia at boiling point and Egypt’s swift following is surely a telling of the times. With mass global communication networks (Google has almost breached China) there was bound to be a backlash eventually. Perhaps this is the tip of the ever elusive African iceberg, where true democracy may finally reign. Perhaps it will no longer take an American nuke to (poorly) attempt to force a democratic system on a nation.

We may well be witnessing the end of America’s rule over the world. China is gradually overtaking economically, and the political systems of far off nations are correcting themselves without the aid of any bullying from the USA. Global media may well be the key to democracy. Where the yanks believed it was down to bombs and soldiers, maybe it was all just down to access to information. We’re not so different you and I after all. It is only a matter of time before the world realises that nothing depends on the BRICs, we simply need to rely upon the powers of the people, and their want for a better life. The realisation that they have the power to change things. The future may yet survive.

The Ballot Boxwith Andrew Grozier

(The views expressed in qmunicate are not necessarily those of the Queen Margaret Union)

It makes the heart glad to see a nation, so oppressed for lord knows how many years take up arms and revolt. To stand tall and take a stand, led by their neighbours, against a government that does not represent them, that holds them back, ball and chain, and restricts their freedom in the face of increasing global pressures.

Egypt, that beautiful nation airbrushedly pictured by Hillhead subway station (it may be, wisely, removed by time of publication) has turned to flame, riot and protest over their dictatorial government – taking lead from Tunisia. The protests in London over student fees cannot compare to the passion and emotion that these Egyptian protests

Lx

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Constitutional CrisisHigh profile Irish Republican forced to take Office of the CrownAn obscure and archaic law regarding the resignation of Members of Parliament has been treated to an unusually high level of public scrutiny recently thanks to Sinn Fein leader Gerry Adams’ attempts to quit the House of Commons without following usual procedure.

Under laws dating back to 1624 elected officials can not resign their position. However they can only be dismissed if they take a “paid office of the Crown”. Gerry Adams wished to step down as an MP in order to focus on running for a seat in the Dail, the lower house of the Irish Parliament.

However to accept an aristocratic position from the monarchy had the potential to be extremely embarrassing for the devout Irish Republican. Initially, Adams simply sent a letter to the speaker of the House of Commons,

John Bercow, outlining his resignation, and it was his intention to leave the matter at that. Adams argued that since he had never actually taken the oath and sat as an MP, a long standing policy of his party, he did not have to follow the traditional constitutional procedures. The Speaker, however, rejected this and so the situation was left unresolved, with the people of Belfast West unsure as to whether or not they had an elected MP. But in a huge political paradigm shift for Sinn Fein, Adams accepted the Stewardship of the Manor of Northstead and thus undertook a service to the Crown. Despite the fact that the position is simply a legal fiction to circumvent an ancient law, Adams had initially refused to take the office on principle but was forced by the deadlock to be pragmatic and accept it.

While many looked on at the unusual situation with an interest in its possible futue

repercussions for politics in Westminster, Sinn Fein were keen to focus the attention back on the upcoming election in the Republic of Ireland. Other political commentators in the media also suggested it would be more worthwhile to analyse Irish repercussions

Gerry Adams faces a tough campaign to win a seat in the Dail. Sinn Fein hold only 5 seats in the current parliament and given the current economic crisis in Ireland many see the politics of independence employed by Sinn Fein as increasingly less relevant. Adams himself is also seen as inexperienced in Economics, a characteristic his opponents will be keen to exploit. Adams, however, will be hoping to use the economics and political turbulence to his advantage as well as high personal profile. The election is expected to take place on the 25th of February, where Gerry Adams will see if his decision has paid off. [Liam Hainey]

The Hetherington Research Club has yet again become the stage for controversy and the latest residence of anti-cuts protesters on the University campus.

The Glasgow University Occupied group are comprised of several on- and off-campus interests, including members of the Anti-Cuts Action Network. The group have also received significant off-campus support and coverage for the stunt, with messages of encouragement from former SSP MSP Rosie Kane and popular Iraq veteran and speaker

Mike Prysner, and coverage in the Herald and Scotsman.

The occupier’s demands include the end of job and course cuts, slashes to teaching and service budgets, and an immediate halt to the voluntary severance scheme.

However, a source from inside the SRC revealed concerns that the protest may distract from the upcoming publication of the cost reduction plan and the following debate at the University Court, among the most pressing actions concerning the economic cuts currently affecting the University of Glasgow.

On a wider scale, the protesters demand of the government continued and sustained investment in higher education, an end to the austerity measures, and further provision of public services. The government, at time of writing, are yet to respond.

There remains some confusion concerning whether the ongoing repeated campus occupations are aimed at the Westminster or Holyrood governments. Though the many banners and placards in the photos address

the British government in general – and often the Conservative party in particular – education remains an area of devolved policy, designated by the Scottish government in Edinburgh.

The Hetherington Research Club closed controversially last year after myriad incidents of incompetence, bad bookkeeping and unpaid bills caused it to lapse into serious bankruptcy. Though it has been argued that this has little to do with the issue of funding cuts in higher education or the University itself, the HRC has been judged as a credible target for such an occupation. Indeed, the University’s plans for the building are to convert it into soundproof music studios and computer labs for the College of Arts; two of the areas most threatened by Westminster style cuts. Some are worried that the occupation of the building will undermine the plans’ progress, effectively countermanding the intent of the protest.

At the time of writing the occupation is stil ongoing, with the occupiers providing tea, coffee and toast, and planning some kind of a social event with the possibility of a musical act. [Colum Fraser]

Durham Students Union (DSU), the representative body of the University of Durham, have sensationally reaffiliated to the National Union of Students (NUS) just ten months following its disaffiliation.

The referendum held 24-28th January on the motion of “should Durham Students’ Union be affiliated to the National Union of Students” saw the highest turnout for any referendum in recent DSU history with 21.6% of student voting. Votes were cast throughout the week online with 2282 voting for, to 1498 voting against.

The motion to reafiliate was spearheaded by DSU President Sam Roseveare following outreach from NUS delegates, and whilst

Roseveare was unavailable for comment Kristina Hagen, Societies and Student Development Officer who also served as an assistant returning officer for the election said “we were delighted with the turnout, I think a lot of people saw it as round three of the fight between the yes and the no campaigns” and confirmed that the referendum had been called following an approach from the NUS.

DSU’s first referndum on the subject was held in November 2009, in which over 80% of students voted to remain affiliated with the NUS, before a further referendum was held in March 2010 following controversies surrounding the NUS’s No Platform Policy. Hagen stated that this third referndum was also called due to close disaffiliation result of

the second referendum which saw the No to NUS campaign win by 78 votes.

This latest referendum followed a debate on reafiliation held at DSU in which NUS President Aaron Porter and Roseveare spoke for the proposition, with Glasgow University Union Honorary Secretary Chris Sibbald asked to oppose and Tommy Gore, President of the SRC, also attending. Of the debate, and refailliation campaign in general, Sibbald remarked that “it quickly became very clear that the president was trying to push it through without telling anyone about it”, referencing controversies regarding the timing of the election just two weeks in to the new term, with little advertising around Durham campus or online.[Iain Smith]

Further Fiasco at the HRC

DSU Say Yes to Historic university’s union votes to rejoin the National Union of Students

A look at the newest occupation on University campus.

8 • qmunicate qmunicate • 9

RectorELECTIONSRector

ELECTIONS

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There are several things that were put on this Earth solely to piss me right off; Alan Carr and his ridiculous voice; people who overuse el-lipsis on facebook; any film containing Robert Pattinson; ballpoint bloody pens. But very few things deserve my most distinguished and well-dispensed contempt so much as supersti-tious people.

Now, let us not venture too near to the as-sorted utterly irrational and baseless beliefs of those that follow religion - that’s another topic for another time - and one that involves at least a week of planning for the complaints, death threats and demonstrations that such discussions so hilariously stimulate. That’s superstition taken to a more dangerous and immersive level. No, I’m talking about the millions of members of the assorted Magpie International, Walking-Under-A-Ladder Victim Support Groups and Black Cat-Watch Societies worldwide. Grow up.

I have broken between three and five mirrors in my life; depending on who you ask – the episode with the exercise ball was definitely my fault, but the Pikachu incident of 1998 was a joint effort. Unlike the superstitious among us, though, I’m completely willing to admit that the 21 years of horrendously bad luck I have endured thus far have been almost en-tirely down to a low alcohol tolerance, sexual inadequacy and a vacuum where my social graces should be. The odd occasion that I have not been completely to blame is down to the fact that almost everyone else in the world is – most of the time – an idiot. The mirrors are not to blame.

On the same note, utterly random and mean-ingless events, such as a cat crossing the pave-ment in front of you, are not to be imbued with some special significance or meaning. Cats are shit, black or not, like a randy teenager that spends most of its time rolling in crap, shag-ging other anonymous cats and then occasion-ally dropping home to be fed, doted over and

told - mistakenly - that it does actually serve a purpose. If one runs in front of you - a cat, not a teenager - your life will not change. Unless, of course, you’re driving a car. Then you might be forced to experience a creeping sense of guilt, perhaps for a couple of seconds. But only if someone sees you. Potentially costly, too.

My real problem with the superstitious, though, is the complete disconnect between the rationality and pragmatism of their often average and underwhelming life, as if at least thirteen years of education and then another couple of the interaction and thought that go into Real Life can be undone by not ‘touching wood’ after saying ‘oh, and I haven’t died yet, so that’s good’.

Last month, a thirteenth symbol of loneliness and gullible desperation was added to the zodiac; a system of superstition that has for so long kept so many huddled around the paper/magazine/tablet uttering such intellectual and well-informed phrases such as; ‘Gosh, Har-old, you’re set for an influx of love and good fortune in the month to come!’ and ‘Ohmygod ohmygod ohmygod, Jenny, come here, your lucky colour this month is earwax and you’re to have an enlightening incident on the way to work, that’s so cool!’. Harold consequently lost all of his money on the horses and was dis-embowelled by loan sharks. Jenny’s tiny brain erupted from her ears, assisted by a runaway train.

Horoscopes are invariably written to be fantastically unoriginal and general that only the most easily led and naively hopeful among us – ie most of us – genuinely believe that we’re the subject. They generally follow the same narrative, with the odd tweak, enhance-ment and reduction, as if sculpted by some delusional plastic surgeon; the result of years of self-affirmation that a nudge in the right direction can immediately shape the future of someone’s life. The template goes thus; ‘In the coming [days/weeks/months] you shall

The views expressed above do not necessarily represent those of qmunicate, the Queen Margaret Union and, indeed, Colum Fraser himself. Colum wishes death upon nothing, even cats.

Colum Fraserexperience [conflict/love/crushing regret and shame] concerning a [special friend/family member/stranger]. At [work/home/prison] you shall [be promoted/achieve/die gruesomely] but only if you are prepared to [change/do nothing whatsoever/fake orgasm]. Your lucky number is [1/69/128] and you should embrace [a walrus/your inner demons/dark, ominous al-leyways]. [Have faith/give up and die/buy this magazine again next month].’

There remains some dispute over whether to call the symbol Ophiuchus or Serperntarius – two words as meaningless and unnecessar-ily complex as the zodiac itself. I, personally, hope they open the decision up to an infinitely more reliable, intelligent and creative than themselves. Namely me. Perhaps we could compromise with ‘Uranidiot’, ‘Phukin-Twerp’ or ‘Baktoskule’. Or ‘Bullshit’.

According to one of the most superstitious people I know, the worldwide flooding, finan-cial collapse, climate change and willy-shaped cloud formations of late are all signals of the coming apocalypse; it is an ancient (and stu-pid) belief that the world comes to an end in 2012. Such a claim, I shall admit, has credence - if there is an angry apocalyptic force govern-ing the world it would definitely want to get the end of all things out of the way by the time the final installation of the Twilight Saga hits the silver screen, or before Bruce Forsyth’s freezer is turned off and the BBC falls into clue-less disarray. But then again, wouldn’t it have wanted judgement day done before another generation of royals start procreating, or the ascendancy of George fucking Osborne?

Anyway, I wish you a happy apocalypse - if there is one - and I look forward to the abso-lute nothingness that follows life. Take that, religion. At least there’ll be no Take Me Out. In the meantime, remember that walking across three drains or not being blessed after snotting everywhere isn’t going to harm you, though ignorance might.

qmunicate’s columnist in the eleventh house on the very superstitious.

Dear Readers,

I was honoured and grateful to be invited to consider standing for a second three year term, as Glasgow Uni-versity Rector. The past three years have been immensely worthwhile and enjoyable; with the challenges facing Scottish students and universities there is no doubt that the next three years will be even more demanding.

I was elected as an Independent and that will be the basis of my candidacy again. I do not see the Rectorship as being an essentially party political role. Moreover, I believe the Rector can act as a Campus Constituency MP, which is why I will continue to meet with students on a regular basis through my Rectorial surgeries. These surgeries have been an excellent opportunity to get to know students and learn of the real issues that arise on campus.

In the past three years, I have made the time and effort to meet the student presidents on campus and take their views to the university court. I will continue to do this over the next three years; particularly in light of the government pulling the purse strings on university fund-ing. I will continue to put Glasgow students first – before party politics.

If fortunate enough to secure re-election I would pro-pose to continue chairing the University Court, while us-ing the platform of the House of Commons to continue to make student and university concerns known on all the relevant issues of the day. For example, I recently voted against my own government on the issue of tui-tion fees. I have always been – and will always be – a firm believer, that education should be free at the point of use in the United Kingdom.

We need an independent rector for the tough times ahead. That’s what’s needed. Yours Sincerely, Charles Kennedy

If you have any questions for Charles Kennedy regarding his campaign; or, would like to get involved in the campaign, please e-mail: votekennedyrec-tor@gmail.com

A comment on A L Kennedy:

A L Kennedy is an acclaimed writer, comedienne and political commentator. Her consistent record in uphold-ing principles of human rights, social justice and the importance of education makes her the ideal candidate for Rector of this fine but troubled University. As Rector she may not be as hands on as her direct predecessor but her strong commitment to the education and her unflinching fear of speaking truth to power we believe will make her a powerful ally of the students in the coming years, where empty prospects and even emptier budgets will come to define a generation.

The strength of electing a woman who has spent much of her life on the stage as opposed to behind the dispatch box may not be immediately evident. However a politician’s role is to please, to convince you of their views when they appeal and disguise them when they don’t. Comedians, by contrast, spend their lives saying that which we know but cannot, or dare not, say – an admirable trait in any official. Also, in bleak economic times – what’s better than a laugh?

A lecturer in Creative Writing she speaks strongly not just in favour of a free and well funded higher education sys-tem but on the importance of the arts and humanities to our campuses and wider society. In an era when funding to courses which don’t offer graduates or universities an immediate economic advantage the future of humani-ties and arts degrees are threatened, a Rector who will speak for the the courses , regardless of faculty or eco-nomic value, is the real choice for the students.

Come Febuary the 21st and 22nd, don’t vote for the old ways. Vote for a candidate with a commitment to educa-tion and objective distance from University old guard. Dont vote for the right Kennedy, vote for the left one.

Please note that, as A L Kennedy and her campaign man-ager were unable to get back to qmunicate before going to print, this piece was written by a representative of her campaign, and does not necessarily represent the views of A L Kennedy herself.

The position of Lord Rector of the University is unique to the ancient Scottish universities, and is a title which is held in great esteem. Traditionally, the Rector chairs the University Court and provides a link between the student population on campus and the Uiversity Management. The level of involvement varies between Rectors, although recently Glasgow has seen those who hold the position taking a more active role. All students at the University are eligible to vote, and are urged to do so, on February 21st and 22nd.

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LOOK KITTEN, I DON’T GIVE A DAMN WHAT YOU THINK. IF I SAY I’M A FEMINISTTHEN BY GOD I AM ONE!

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I have no idea how to start this article without scaring off or boring a great deal of potential readers. So I’d just like to make clear; This isn’t a rant. This isn’t a lecture. And this definitely isn’t a brainwashing attempt. I like men. I fancy men. As the old saying goes, some of my best friends are men. I, and most other women reading this, will have grown up with voting and legal rights equal to any man reading this. So, is gender and sexual inequality over? Should men and women and everyone in between focus on sorting out racism, socioeconomic inequality and homophobia now? Does feminism matter any more?

One man thinks it does. ‘A woman who says she is not a feminist is essentially an idiot…And a man who says he is not a feminist is the equivalent of a racist.’ Self-proclaimed heterosexual transvestite and comedian Andrew O’Neill didn’t mince words when asked why he calls himself a feminist. But his concern with gender equality go ‘hand in hand’ with similar concerns about racism and inequality of any kind. O’Neill writes a blog about his cross-dressing, or ‘genderspazzing’, as he calls it, and it offers an unusual glimpse of a straight man’s experience of western gender inequality. A particularly enlightening entry describes the casual reaction of other men to an obviously male acquaintance in a typically feminine skirt and make up. ‘I have had hands up my skirt, gropes of my torso, and – less physical but no less sinister – the repeated assertion that should things go awry, I would have no part in deciding whether or not I got fucked. “You’d better be careful”, they say. Quite a lot. The suggestion is that if they really did find me attractive, I would get fucked, whether I liked it or not.’You’d have to lurk in some pretty dark corners of the Daily Mail’s online comments to find anyone who’d explicitly condone that kind of behaviour towards a woman, or suggest women are treated equally to men (through state-sanctioned action or otherwise) everywhere in the world. But it’s easy to find men and women who’ll point to equal opportunities legislation and high profile women as proof of feminism’s redundancy

in this country, while being part of bizarre differences such as the disparately low number of women enrolled in science and engineering courses, or filling top posts in either of those worlds.

And of course men and women aren’t the same. All biological evidence shows us that men are naturally physically bigger and stronger, by virtue of their sex. And new evidence suggests that boys and girls form different neural

connections in different orders from each other; a process that begins before they’re even born. But, from the moment a child leaves the womb, it is bombarded with such rigid instruction to conform to a constructed ideal of femininity and masculinity, it is often hard to determine where nature ends and nurture begins.

And while we may not be the same, we should at least be equally treated for equal actions. The pay gap between men and women’s waged work is closing but Office for National Statistics collected data last year that showed women earning 4% more an hour for part-time work than men, but 10.2% less for full-time work. You might have noticed something of a kerfuffle over a linesman recently. Apparently because she was actually a lineswoman, two otherwise respected commentators proclaimed that she couldn’t possibly know her job, despite having the same qualifications and experience as her male counterparts. The commentators in question have been rightly disciplined by their employer Sky Sports, but Sky Sports’ Soccerettes segment on Soccer AM, where women are literally paraded in front of baying fans cheering when stats like “Age” and “relationship status” are revealed, dressed in the strip of their choice and not much else, has remained untouched. It seems there might be some way to go.

Being recently lucky enough to experience a pole dancing class (more on that next issue), I ran into second year Politics student, Laura Thomas, proudly wearing a hoodie emblazoned with the words “Pole Dancing Feminist”. Thomas told me ‘I consider myself

to be a feminist because if I hear something that I believe is promoting the belief that men and women have different standings, I say something.’, based on the strong conviction that feminism is holding men and women equal. But there’s more to it than that. ‘Tonnes of people...believe in equality but don’t call themselves feminists because of the stigma attached to it.’ Also, Thomas believes that sisters are just as capable of harming the cause as the male perpetrators of the patriarchy. ‘Most of my friends think that a man should pay the bill if it’s a date. I really hate chivalry, and think that a lot of the small things that make women and men unequal are based around traditions, and I don’t think they’ll go away unless feminists challenge them. I hate the idea of fathers giving their daughters away at their weddings...To me, tradition doesn’t mean it’s right or relevant today.’

While readily admitting oppression and subjugation was a hideous fact of life for many women in other parts of the world, a pal suggested to me the other day that sometimes there might just be some fundamental differences between the sexes. He said of course we should end women being stoned in the middle East, we should stop baby girls being abandoned or killed in rural China and we should make sure all women are offered the same educational and employment opportunities as men. But for example, that male CEOs vastly outnumber females in the West is simply due to men being naturally better than women at the traits required to excel in that position.

Admittedly, he may well be right. But - and here’s the problem - until little boys and little girls from all walks of life can grow up without that idea (and a million other unfounded stereotypes) being ubiquitously reinforced, we just won’t know for sure.

So on a domestic level, that we can all empathise with; men shouldn’t have to pay for dinner. But they should have the choice. Women shouldn’t have to shave their armpits. But they should have the choice. And it’s for this choice we need men and women be proud feminists, and challenge the complacency that allows bigotry and inequality to thrive, wherever we find it.

I think, therefore I am a feminist

‘A woman who says she is not a feminist is essentially an idiot… And a man who says he is not a feminist is the equivalent of a racist.’

Nina Ballantyne explores the grossly misinterpreted world of feminism.

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In Ireland last week, the Green Party walked out on the coalition government, extinguish-ing its majority and effectively dissolving the Dail and Taoiseach Brian Cowen resigned as leader of Fianna Fail, although weirdly he resolved to stay on as prime minister. This was in response to the calamitous financial crisis in which Ireland finds itself. Unemployment stands at 13.6% (Scotland’s is 8.1%); it is pre-dicted that over one million people will have defaulted on their mortgages by the end of the year and there are threats of mass strikes. The government budget has been slashed by 25% and the minimum wage reduced by one euro/hour. In November, Ireland was forced to request an €85 crisis loan from the EU and IMF, which must be paid back at a rate of 5.8% - certain to keep the economy on crutches for some time to come. The Celtic Tiger’s mighty roar has been reduced to a feeble mew, and this should serve as a grim warning for those who would like to see Scotland become the Celtic Tiger Mark II.

After the crippling recession of the eighties, Ireland drastically restructured its economy. Their big idea was to attract foreign invest-ment by lowering their corporation tax to 12.5% (the UK’s is 28%). This encouraged overseas businesses like Google, Yahoo and Microsoft to set up bases there and also led to booms in construction and banking. Through-out the nineties and in the early half of this decade, Ireland prospered. However, since 2000, their GDP has fallen by 15% - ‘the sharp-est contraction experienced by any advanced industrial nation in peacetime’, according to economist Rob Brown. The problem with setting up a country as a tax haven is that you don’t generate much tax from the capital it attracts, and most of the money is being made by outsiders. When times get tough, they take their capital away with them and speculate elsewhere, making your situation exponen-tially worse. They aren’t going to stay around to pay for benefits.

For many years, Ireland was the model for how an independent Scotland could thrive. Alex Salmond previously recommended that we join Ireland, Iceland and Scandinavia in an ‘arc of prosperity’. Had we followed this dream, we would now be living in sewers and boiling stones for soup.

Two of the totems of the Scottish economy are RBS and HBOS. The total cost of the bailout of these two fine institutions has been put at £470b – over three times the GDP of Scotland (£144b). Without the rest of the UK to help pick up the bill, these banks would have gone out of business, which would have allowed us to experience first-hand the effects of a capitalist economy with no banking system. Pioneering, but probably not very pleasant.

Could we have begged England for help? How forthcoming would have been their succour if we had pugnaciously seceded from the Union, admitted that we hated their football team all along and told them that Andy Murray was going to win Wimbledon and then take a dump on a St. George’s Cross on centre court? How would the pride and dignity of those who petitioned for our glorious independence have coped when supplicating to our former colonis-ers, cap in hand?

As is presently being demonstrated in Ireland, a small country is especially vulnerable to the

Ireland – a warning to secessionists

vagaries of the international economy. A big country can absorb shocks like the banking crisis; it has an expansive infrastructure of social protection and has the resources to rebuild.

It is customarily assumed that North Sea oil revenues could sustain an independent Scot-land, with £12.2b being generated by oil and gas. However, in the current global climate, it would be hard to imagine a more volatile and meretricious basis for the economy of a fledgling nation than fossil fuels.

What would we do when the oil runs out? We could invite Donald Trump to turn Rannoch Moor into a ten-thousand acre golf resort/Jockland theme-park. Alex Salmond could stand at the gates and theatrically yell ‘You’ll never take our freedom’ at every porcine tour-ist who enters, before adding ‘Thank you for your custom. Please don’t leave us’. We could carpet the Cairngorms with call centres, pric-ing India out of the market with our competi-tive new minimum wage...this would at least provide American stand-ups with a welter of new material about intransigent accents.

Independence is a boneheaded whimsy, perpetrated by people desperate to fill some spirituality gap within themselves. As part of the Union, we have our own flag, our own television and print media, our own legal system, our own education system, our own football team. We even have our own Parlia-ment. We can call ourselves Scottish and noone corrects us. We can ruthlessly exploit our cultural heritage to make money from tourists and noone complains. We have a dis-tinct identity which noone is trying to supress and a vibrant and successful culture which noone is trying to oppress. We are also part of one of the world’s political and economic powerhouses, and every day we reap benefits from that which make the wistful shortbread-tin musings of Alex Salmond, Sean Connery and the rest look like the vacuous drivel that they are.

Obviously Ireland had entirely different reasons for seeking independence, but if we, as a similarly-sized nation, wish to expose ourselves to the strife they currently face, we surely require a very good reason of our own.

Allan Rennie looks at why Scotland shouldn’t become independent.

As the sun sets on the Australian Open, the first of the four Tennis majors to be played this year, the UK media has set about reflection on the failure of it’s anointed champion to win a Grand Slam at the third attempt. The Glasgow-born tennis star’s rise to the final was met with much excitement in his home country and the rest of Britain. But has Andy Murray really been taken to the nations hearts, and does he really want to be?

Many a bar stool pundit in Scotland will be heard to say that, in the media, Andy Murray is Scottish when he loses and British when he wins. This however is cliché, paranoid, and false. When Murray appears on TV the com-mentators always seem quite keen to empha-sise his dual identity, pointing out saltires in the crowd and even occasionally referring to him as a Scot. Of course they often also refer to him as “The British number one” but this is a simple statement of fact. He is the number one tennis player in all of the United Kingdom. What seems more interesting to me than the Media’s attitude to Murray’s personal iden-tity is his own attitude to it. Journalists and broadcasters attempts to procure Murray, as a symbol of British tennis and sport in general is an unsurprising and common part of the reporters quest for a narrative. Every story needs its hero.

Murray however appears to be more resistant to attempts to cast him as the vassal for a na-tion’s hopes, dreams and ambitions. Compared to Tim Henman, the last British player to be the poster boy for a Tennis generation, Andy Murray is far less the figurehead. When Tim Henman lost he was mocked, yes, but in a gentle, almost affectionate way and he never performed as consistently highly as Murray. Murray loses in Australia and the press, both north and south of the border, describe him as a choker, a born loser, and, ludicrously for a man of only twenty-three years, a failure.

There are two key reasons for this differ-ence in attitude to Britain’s two most recent tennis stars. Firstly, the frenzy of expectation surrounding Murray. He is, even at his young age, a far better player than Henman ever was. Henman never reached a major final and his highest career rank was fourth. Murray on the other hand is currently number five but has spent time as world number two and reached the final of three grand slams. Already a more illustrious career than Henman. The recogni-tion that Murray is a huge talent brings with it a heightened level of desire for the win, and therefore a greater and deeper disap-pointment when the win doesn’t come. But of course perspective is important. Only a fool would claim that Henman was a bad player, but this simply serves to emphasise the great-ness of Andy Murray. Henman said it himself only a year ago in response to the question “Do you think Murray will ever make it?”:

“Andy is the second best player on the planet. He’s behind only one man, Roger Federer, who is the greatest player in history. And people think he hasn’t made it yet?”

However while Murray and Henman have their similarities, they are very different men. Hen-man encapsulates the quiet, reserved middle-class stereotype, further reinforced by the Pimm’s, Strawberries and rain of Wimbledon. Murray, however, is gruff, aggressive and, on the court, furiously loud. His status as an out-sider is confirmed by the name of the venue; the All England Club. He is a Scot, an unknown, who does not and will never fit into the prim and proper geniality of one of the world’s leading tennis tournaments, no matter how comfortable he is with a dual identity. He also seems to be resistant to the pomp and circum-stance of the whole event and seeks to shrug off the weight of national expectation and fo-cus instead on his own ambition. That attitude, and the British media’s disapproval of it was

summed up in 2010 when, for the first time in 33 years, the Queen visited the All England Club. Journalists asked whether he would bow for Her Majesty or not, and to the shock of a nation caught up in the ceremonial, self indul-gent middle class orgasm that is Wimbledon, he replied “I’ll have to wait and see”. He didn’t embark on a republican tirade, or cry freedom, nor did he show snivelling deference to the crown, he simply committed the cardinal sin of appearing not to care about the establish-ment. In defiance of those who would dub him “a controversial figure” he did bow, but simply because he did not wish to make a fuss and he, and his fellow professionals seemed to agree that a bow was the appropriate gesture. He was focussed on the game, while the rest of the nation worried about a symbol.

Britain is not really a tennis nation. Tennis does not excite the nation every summer; the pros-pect of a protracted pseudo-sporting garden party is what really gets the heart racing. Andy Murray cares not for this, and instead wants to be a champion at his chosen sport, thus transcending ideas of tradition, representation and nationhood.

The only tennis competition where players do compete under their countries flag attracts little or no attention in the mainstream media and is the preserve of enthusiasts and fanat-ics. It seems fair therefore, that Andy Murray should reject the status as champion of a country when that nation’s attitude to the sport is self-serving and half-hearted.

Andy Murray is a hugely talented man, and when the day comes that he holds a loft a Grand Slam trophy, his home country can be proud, but they should do so in the knowledge that he, quite rightly, achieved what he did for himself and not them.

Liam Hainey

rule brittania? Why Andy Murray isn’t all strawberries & cream.

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MusicAlbums

Singles

Unsigned Corner...

“My mind is a night garden, heavy with shadow it

stares”.  Taken from the single All the Eastern Girls, this line is quintessential of London-based Chapel Club, whose melancholy metaphors and natural imagery exploring themes of love and self are a staple of eagerly awaited debut album, Palace.  The band’s most obvious influences include 80’s post-punk and shoegaze bands, evident in the constantly pounding basslines, heavy use of guitar effects and above all the often subtle and understated vocals of front man Lewis Bowman.  A series of singles, both proper and promotional, and live shows on both sides of the Atlantic have fostered much anticipation for Palace. The album commences with the aptly named Depths, two minutes of noise fading in and submerging the listener before

dragging them up to a climax as the standout Surfacing crashes through the speakers and forces air back into the lungs.  Palace is able to spawn slow and downbeat tracks such as The Shore, in which the heavy and intermittent guitar chords cleverly sounds like waves morosely lapping up on a beach, but at the other end of the spectrum brilliant tracks such as Five Trees, O Maybe I and All the Eastern Girls are upbeat and excellently crafted.  However while the immediately impressive singles are the ones which will stay in your head after listening, tracks such as White Knight Position and Fine Light in the middle of the album continue to grow with each listen – the sign of a good album.  Packed with the instantly enjoyable and the increasingly enjoyable in equal measure, and with a depth that means you will want to listen again and again, Palace encapsulates all the promise that this talented group have shown up until now. [RF]

Chapel ClubPalace

Stupid band names aside, this album really is rather

impressive. Colour Trip is a swirly mix of shoegaze and noisepop, taking licks from the lollies of Joy Division, My Bloody Valentine and Ash. The uniting of melodic guitar, dreamy vocals and underlying discordant is quite sublime. Some songs are so sunshiny they make you want to get out your Super 8 camera and film all your friends riding on bikes and kissing on tyre swings. But even in these poppy tunes, there’s darkness. The lyrics are hard to decipher and there’s a certain sombreness to the lead singer’s voice which might signal an impending death-under-unusual-circumstances. Let’s hope so. With a little luck like that Colour Trip might just become the album of choice for brooding adolescents everywhere. [PS]

Ringo DeathstarrColour Trip

You Can Dance is an upbeat white funk track reminiscent of 1970s disco with thumping piano, simple but catchy, meaningless lyrics and hand clapping throughout. It is so horrendous it is almost genius. I can only imagine myself dancing to this song after a fair few bottles of tequila, joining in whole heartedly every time “dance motherf***** dance” is repeated.

Sober, however, it is an offense to the eardrums and potentially the most irritating single I have listened to since 2005’s Crazy Frog. The single has been released with six remixes, including one by Robotaki, the nineteen year old blog sensation. Each remix is more euphoric than the last, suggesting that this may prove to be a club hit in the very near future. [LM]

Chilly GonzalesYou Can Dance

Sometimes reviews are difficult to write because the item in question is simply…average. Not terrible, sure, but not amazing either. So in this case, if you like indie-rock, you’ll probably like The Megaphonic Thrift. Simple as, really. The problem is that there’s nothing here to make it stand out from the crowd of identikit groups that litter band-nights across the country.

The main single is catchy enough, but is fairly repetitive and doesn’t really capture the imagination. Meanwhile, B-side Fill Your Cup Tokyo is a poor inclusion, containing nothing memorable whatsoever. The disc may be worth a quick check-out, but don’t expect it to take the crown of your record-of-the-month.[AS]

Megaphonic ThriftTalks like a Weed King

Lonely Island have released another ‘hilarious’ faux-rap

track in the form of I Just Had Sex. The song is repulsively unfunny and will want to make you slice off your own genitals so that you can never legitimately sing this song, ever, in your life. What makes this barbaric assault on music even worse is the fact that Lonely Island have become the artists they set out to parody. [PH]

Lonely IslandI Just Had Sex

Tanera HeightsHappy medium for those not quite ready for Rhapsody of Fire. Mix of heavy bass-drums with alternating rock and folk guitars leads to oddly varying tracks. Illustrations of Time the clear leader, with My Fictional Fortress unfortunately lagging.

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Do you remember… The Hives – Hate to Say I Told You So: The infamous revival track of garage rock.The Wannadies – You and Me Song: Uplifting 90’s alternative classic.The Thrills – Big Sur: Total indie summer anthem.

than a 73-year-old former member of Ameri-can folk giants The Holy Modal Rounders? The time on stage is filled with almost a chrono-logical study of Stampfel’s work, in between brilliant fragments of biographical rambling which ranges from speed trips to collecting bottle caps. The music played is a utopia of dis-sonance; banjos are strummed and harmonies are screeched with raw energy and passion. There is a wonderful air of humour to tonight’s proceedings as Stampfel plays his own take on modern music, [put your] Ass in the Air, which is complimented by a bizarre rendition of Bird is the Word.

The evening ended with Lewis humbly mean-dering from the stage after a modest encore including a rendition of Systematic Death, from his release of 12 Crass Songs. Tonight Jeffrey Lewis opened one of the many doors into his fantastic musical mind and let the Glaswegian audience in. It was brilliant to see

LiveJeffrey Lewis and Peter StampfelMono 28/1

Jeffrey Lewis is a cult hero, and as a cult hero he can do pretty much whatever he wants. Tonight in Mono his name is the one selling all the tickets, but little do the audi-ence know, that tonight is in fact the Peter Stampfel show. The wonderful thing about what follows is that Lewis will only play three or four of his own songs in the two hour set. This may shock many of you who, like me, want to hear The last time I did Acid, Don’t Be Upset and Anxiety Attack; songs which light up the anti-folk hero’s back catalogue of fault-less imaginative guitar based compositions. However, you must not fret; see that old guy on the stage with the manic grin? Thats Peter Stampfel, and he is a genius.

What happens next is two of the best hours of live music I have ever seen. It soon be-comes apparent that Lewis is the teacher and we are his pupils. Lesson one is psychedelic folk music, and who can better teach the class

a musician step aside and let his musical hero take centre stage whilst he stood back in ad-miration, almost humbled to be playing at his own gig. Jeffrey Lewis is an artist with integrity, psychedelic passion and immense zeal for the music that he believes in. Go and see him and then buy a Stampfel record, or go see Stampfel and buy a Lewis record… Go, go, go!

[Pad Hughes]

Funeral PartyKing Tut’s 28/1

Last Friday Funeral Party, a fairly unknown band consisting of four guys from LA, had made it all the way to Glasgow to conquer King Tuts. This indie-rock band with a universal appeal just released an album last month, and managed to do an amazing live performance that was well beyond my expectations.NME listed Funeral Party as top 50 of the best

new bands of 2010. Their music is not edge cutting but it is surely a title well deserved. The music itself is a great variation of dance punk and indie, which makes almost every song in-teresting and never boring or repetitive. Even though the music is not in any aspect ground breaking or the first of its kind, the sound is fun and young.

At the beginning the band seemed a bit unco-ordinated and stiff, perhaps nervous, but soon they got more synchronised and confident. The venue was quite empty, but these Ameri-cans still managed to create a great atmoshere (maybe the lack of people was even good as it gave everyone plenty of space to move). Having listened to their album beforehand, I was pleasantly surprised when seeing them live. The band is energetic on stage and all that energy transfers to the crowd, resulting in an awesome atmosphere and a gig to remember. I would say that their energy and passion for music is not as well translated to the listener through their album as it is by their live perfor-mance. There was a great variation between up tempo and slower songs. The best aspect of the gig was definitely the song Finale which is one of their earliest songs and in my opinion their strongest one too.

[Caroline Karlestedt]

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Comedy

There’s nothing funny about human rights abuse, but Amnesty International’s fundraising Secret Policeman’s Ball was very funny indeed. Mirroring the London version, the show took place in Qudos and was organised by Glasgow University Amnesty International society with a little help from some of Glasgow’s up and coming comedians who aren’t quite famous enough yet to charge for such things.

Having persuaded the two girls who live below me to accompany me by promising to fix their bikes in the morning in exchange we took our seats near the back, ‘cos we’re cool like that. Also, any regular comedy-goers know the risk of public mockery you face by sitting near the front, and this was definitely true of tonight. After a bizarre classroom roll-call style opening act, Billy Kirkwood began his dazzling performance, which was reprised through-out the night, frequently making fun of the

‘braces’ and ‘waistcoats’ sitting in the front row. The Halt comedy night regular Chris Henry followed and got the night off to a great start with a set of just plain funny standup. Another Halt and Jim’s regular, Richard Gadd, followed with a Pope-related sketch that fell a little short off the mark, but he would redeem himself later by doing a set of his usual jittery alterna-tive comedy. Some musical comedy followed from the ‘Phishy Tissues’, which was a little crude, but everybody was laughing, so I guess they got away with it.

Major highlights that followed included Damien Crow, a troubled goth kid who nobody understands. He told us about his ‘dark mysteri-ous mind’, read some poetry about his black soul. In a similar vein was David Reaper, Grim’s brother, who is subcontracted to deal with all David-related deaths. Both proved real high-lights of the night.

Secret Policeman’s Ball • QMU • 22/1

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Art Exhibition

I was born in nineteen eighty-four in a southern city in Oceania. Though Big Brother wouldn’t control our screens for another 17 years (at which point its greatest political achievement was educating mainstream Australia about the intricacies of ‘turkey slapping’ (Urban Dictionary it if you’re curious rather than Google Image Search)), I’ve always felt a particular affiliation with the Orwellian world vision. Also, I think it’s totally gangsta when someone’s name becomes an adjective. It was with some anticipation that I attended the Glasgow School of Art’s Living Today: With information from the George Orwell Archive at the Mackintosh Museum.

I must confess that of the collective works of George Orwell, I’d only read nineteen eighty-four. Then again, hey: ignorance is strength. It explains why I was expecting some sort of stylised insight into life in an information

society, maybe with 3D glasses? Considering our relationships, habits and preferences are now mapped by Facebook and Google; perpetual wars are waged on ‘drugs’ and ‘terror’; and recent weeks have witnessed explosive tensions unfold in Middle Eastern dictatorships over issues of freedom and control, the themes of Orwell’s writing seem as relevant as ever.

Yet Living Today offers a far more subtle and internationally diverse program than I expected with my clumsy pop-Orwell. Seven collections explore threads linked by issues of consumerism, poverty, and the marginalisation of forgotten peoples and places. Jens Haaning’s photo series of refugees living in Copenhagen, complete with itemised street couture price lists that look like a GQ advertising spread, plays counterpoint to Eva Merz’s Scottish women’s prison fashion project

– two very different takes on the marginalised, linked by fashion. Matei Bejanaru offers a subversive ‘travel guide’ complete with instructions on emigrating from Romania to Britain, legally or otherwise. Finally (and what I found most visually striking) Angela Ferreira presents a comparison of the South African rand to the euro. Even as the value of the rand fluctuates and the Euro remains impassive, I couldn’t help but reflect on the beauty of the flora and fauna displayed on the coins from the ‘unstable economy’, while the Euro offers a bland an inoffensive baseline that could have come straight out of the Ministry of Truth. If you’ve never been to the Mackintosh Museum I recommend it for the building alone, especially with free entry. As for the exhibit, you’ll find offers seven unique takes on contemporary geo-politics. And no mention of Jade Goody.[Phil Betts]

Living Today: The George Orwell Archive • GSA

The Last two acts, a version of the famous Yorkshire man sketch originally by the Monty Python bunch, and then Des Clarke, the big-gest name of the night, were both fantastic. Indeed on the whole the entire night was a smashing night of comedy, and for only a fiver in, a bloody bargin as well. [Theo Wheatley]

Film

Peter Mullan’s third directorial effort Neds is as gut-wrenching and visceral as running on the spot for ten minutes after a bottle of Madd Dogg and twenty Mayfair. Despite compari-sons to Shane Meadows’ This is England, Neds is drastically different in tone and style. Aside from costume design, 1970s iconography is largely absent. One gets the impression that Mullan, despite setting his story in the 70s, is making the point that the events depicted in

NEDsNeds are relevant today; centrally the struggles faced by dispossessed youths in lower working class Scottish society. Conor McCarron, excel-lent in his first acting role, plays John McGill, a fiercely intelligent yet shy student ,living in the shadow of his notorious older brother Benny, who is the most respected and feared fighter in their scheme. At first he abhors the violence that surrounds him, stopping his brother’s bru-tal assault of a boy who threatened him. Soon, however, he finds himself seduced by the status that accompanies a violent reputation and starts running with the local neds, quickly rising up the ranks.

Those looking for a film full of alpha male bravado that glamorizes violence will be disap-pointed. The violence, though not graphic by today’s standards, is shot with a stomach churning realism; the camera doesn’t switch rapidly from shot to shot but lingers, at times unbearably. The consequences of violence, a key theme throughout the film, are also por-trayed with uncomfortable honesty. Most of the actors had no previous experience yet ev-

ery performance is authentic and convincing. The colloquial dialogue is especially notewor-thy, never seeming gratuitous or forced but coming off naturally. Director Mullan gives the best performance of the movie, a master class in understated menace, as the largely absent but consistently repellent alcoholic father to John and Benny. His appearance on screen causes a sharp intake of breath.

Though it lags slightly in its third act, this is a powerful, well written, well acted movie that raises the difficult and uncomfortable question of whether our education system is equipped to deal with young men like the ones depicted in Neds.

Watch it if you like: My Name Is Joe,; This Is England

Don’t watch it if you like: Derivative alpha male fight movies

[Johnny MacAra]

As a female who enjoys both boxing and Mark Wahlberg topless, I was expecting to really enjoy this film. Based on the “true” story of boxer Micky Ward and his brother Dicky, the film follows Micky’s rise to fame despite the dead weight around him, including a small time town, a messed up family and a coked

The Fighterup brother. He faces the usual challenges of divided loyalties and of not being a great boxer to finally rise to fame and fortune and have a shot at the big league. Although it sounds like I’m being flippant, I did genuinely like this film. The characters are highly realistic, the story is really interesting and you do feel yourself rooting for the underdog. However, I

don’t think it’s fair to call this a boxing movie. When I think of boxing movies I think of Rocky running up the stairs or Hilary Swank dieing (finally). This is so much more than either of those. This film doesn’t focus on the difficul-ties of professional boxing but more the issues surrounding loyalty to a family that, although

wants the best for you, is really only holding you back. The cast is perfect. Mark Wahlberg is great as the younger brother used to spend-ing his time in the shadows and Christian Bale, as always, is fantastic as the messed up, older brother, desperate for a comeback but even more desperate for his drugs. Don’t be put off by the trailer with the truly awful Rihanna song attached to it, it’s a lot more interesting than that. I won’t lie, it’s probably not a great date movie. Go see it with your mates and I promise, you won’t be disappointed.

Watch it if you like: Oscar WInning Perfor-mances; Marky Mark from The New Kids on the Block,; Dropkick Murphys

Don’t watch it if you like: RomComs; Rocky; Crack

[Katherine McAinish]

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18

Remember leaving primary school? I imagine this event was probably concurrent with a more important personal development: growing out of your Pokémon phase. Nintendo, however, have not grown out of Pokémon just yet. The game series is still going strong and this year sees the release of Pokémon Black and White on the DS. Of the 151 new monsters, note Vanipeti: a small white blob which evolves into an ice-cream cone, and evolves again into… a double ice-cream cone. Luckily for Nintendo, even ideas with this little artistic shimmer gross big. There have now been a ludicrous 17 games released in the main Pokémon canon, with the most recent entries (actually re-releases of 2001 titles) selling over 10 million units in under a year.

The current gaming industry is built on re-releases, updates and sequels. “Top 10” lists are composed almost entirely of games that either end with a number or a sub-title; it seems that original ideas hardly get a look-in. Now, sequels aren’t a bad thing - some of the best games of recent years have been continuations of existing franchises: Super Mario Galaxy 2, Gears of War 2, Halo 3. But there’s a growing consensus that the prevalence of sequels in the marketplace means developers find it difficult to convince publishers to invest in games with original ideas. Innovative games that do get commissioned rarely sell as well as their sequel competitors, compounding the problem.

A decade ago, when games were cheaper and quicker to make, issues like these were less relevant. But today blockbuster titles can take years to develop, with costs running into the millions, and companies can be destroyed by a single game which performs poorly at retail. There is, however, some hope. Online stores allow smaller, “indie” games to be released inexpensively as downloads. In this market, games like Braid and Angry Birds garner both acclaim and financial returns. And wacky ideas like Super Meat Boy can thrive uninhibited online.

Some downloadable titles can be obtained by the consumer for free, supported only by ad-revenue. Perhaps it is here that the future lies for truly innovative content. It is only when original and convention-breaking titles earn strong returns that publishers will feel confident to invest in them. Gamers can change the way the industry operates, so take action with your twitching thumbs and try something different.

Channel Four has assembled the great (David Mitchell), the good (Charlie Brooker), the insipid (Lauren Laverne) and the insufferable (Jimmy Carr) for this attempt to provide a humorous, but intelligent, alternative to contemporary current affairs programming. 10 O’Clock Live is a gallimaufry of interviews, debates and sketches which respond to up-to-the- minute news stories a tall order, given that their mission is not only to report, but also to be funny. The running time of one hour also seems ambitious. Perhaps for this reason, one of the items this week deals with tuition fees, which is, like, so four weeks ago. Cutting edge? Phooey.

Each of the presenters deploys their respective stage styles: Carr with glib, edgily offensive wisecracks; Brooker with his increasingly unconvincing misanthropy; Mitchell dazzles with his disarmingly erudite wit, and the pointless Laverne just hovers around the frame, like a befuddled lineswoman futilely attempting to grasp the offside rule (now that’s cutting edge...). The combined effect is no more than the sum of its disparate parts.

The biggest disappointment is Brooker, who phones in his contribution: a piece on Tunisia that may just about make the deleted scenes on a Newswipe DVD and a rubbish segment on Sarah Palin. Brooker’s excoriating attacks on modern television have made him a star, but the gravitational pull of the celestial is increasingly and inexorably dragging him away from what once made him great.

The programme’s high point is a discussion Mitchell has with some serious people regarding the banking crisis. Here, the mission to add a dash of irreverence to weighty subject matter makes perfect sense, and the humour and intellect Mitchell exhibits makes a refreshing change from feeble-minded flapjaws like Andrew Marr, with whom we usually have to content ourselves in these matters.

This segment, however, is far too short; interrupted in order to allow Carr to take more snide cheap-shots, Laverne to occupy space and Brooker to wonder what it’s all come to. [Allan Rennie]

• Twitter – The Dark Knight tweets:http://twitter.com/god_damn_batman

• Wikipedia Article – Good flatmate etiquette/where dictatorship inevitably begins:http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Toilet_paper_orientation

• Game – When your real gameboy finally packs in, play gameboy games online:http://gbemul.com/all/

• Cute Picture – Like a long-necked Yoda:http://i.imgur.com/T8dqx.jpg

• Internet Geekiness – Keep up to date with the internet:www.memebase.com

• Website – Irrevocable proof that the customer is always wrong: notalwaysright.com

Geek-quels... by Adam Samson 10 O’Clock Live

links

comment televisionTech

i saw you...Text ‘qmu’ and your message to 07766404142

I saw you Colum Fraser wanking in a tent. • I saw you Colum’s kindle. Fucking hypocrite. • i saw you mark scyrmgeor suckin boab in jims bar. • i saw you amy downing a boke as a forfeit. Serves you right for being shite at pool. • i saw you Quids hotdogs, making my night even more delicious • i saw you Chippy; That’s Chippy.

Credits

Editor: Emma Bainbridge Section Editors: Nina Ballantyne • Jenny NordmanEditorial Kudos: Pete SansomDown Under Design: Phil Betts

Contributors: Robert Fairbairn • Colum Fraser • Andy Grozier • Liam Hainey • Lucy Howell • Paddy Hughes • Caroline Karlestedt • Charles Kennedy • Katherine McAinish • Jonathan McAra • Bateman McBride • Laura McLean • Oliver Milne • Gavin Murdoch • Allan Rennie • Adam Samson • Iain Smith • Alice Stearn • Theo Wheatley

Photography:alter1fo • divemaster2000 • Andy Dunlop • John 14 • Liam Hainey • Jani Helle (www.GlasgowUniPhoto.com) • ludwig van standard lamp • nailest • Pascal \o/ • Te lo juro por Madonna

Thanks To: Lovely People; Pity Crisps

Printing: Forward Graphics

qmunicate.magazine@gmail.comwww.qmu.org.uk/qmunicate

qmunicate is © Queen Margaret Union. All work is © its authors 2011. Views expressed in qmunicate do not necessarily represent those of the Queen Margaret Union.

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Your week at the QM…Monday Tuesday Wednesday Thursday Friday Saturday Sunday

Support & Services Committe

5pm • Board Room

QM Poker League7pm • Qudos

New Comedy/Theatre in Jim’s

8pm • Jim’s Bar

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Events Committee5.30pm • Board Room

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C-Card12noon-4pm • Committee

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8pm • Jim’s Bar

Social Committee5.30pm • Board Room

Unplugged9.30pm • Jim’s Bar

Friday FaceOff4pm • Jim’s Bar

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Cheesy Pop9pm-2am • Qudos

Live Sport in Champions’ Bar

See blackboard for this week’s games

Live Sport in Champions’ Bar

See blackboard for this week’s games

Things we learned in January…