PSYCHOLOGY MODULE 55/...PSYCHOLOGY MODULE 5! ©COPYRIGHT INSTITUTE OF TRANSFORMATIONAL NUTRITION, INC. | ! EXTREME SELF-CARE! ©COPYRIGHT INSTITUTE OF WHAT WE WILL

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©COPYRIGHT INSTITUTE OF TRANSFORMATIONAL NUTRITION, INC. | WWW.TRANSFORMATIONALNUTRITION.COM!

PSYCHOLOGY MODULE 5!


EXTREME SELF-CARE!


WHAT WE WILL COVER IN THIS SECTION!

• What is extreme self-care?!• Why is it important? !• Benefits of extreme self-care!• How it can change your self-

image to support you steppinginto your authentic self!

• Tuning into your authentic self!• Myths about extreme self-care!• Areas of focus!• Indications that you need

extreme self-care!• Care and support methods!

Institute of Transformational Nutrition

© Copyright Institute of Transformational Nutrition I www.transformationalnutrition.com

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WHAT IS IT? !

•  There are a wide variety of demands placed upon us every singleday!–  Tax our mind, heart, body, and spirit!

•  Focused on nurturing and fostering internal growth!•  Bringing about the best in yourself!


WHAT IS IT? !

•  Clearing all the refuse out of the way!–  Clearing the cobwebs out of your closets!

•  Financially, socially, mentally, emotionally, physically!•  Determining what stands in your way!•  Taking a stand to save your life!


WHAT IS IT?!

•  Need to focus on taking care of yourself !–  Bring balance back to your life!–  Improve your quality of life!



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WHAT IS IT?!

•  Pouring all the care and nurturance that you give to others toyourself instead!–  Prioritizing your own needs!–  Taking care of your own needs and what your body is trying to tell you!–  Ridding yourself of the guilt or any feelings of selfishness!–  Trusting your self and your opinions!–  Recognizing that you are just as important as anyone else is!


WHAT IS IT?!

•  Finding relationships which are give and take!–  No “soul-sucking” relationships!

•  With people who just take and take!–  Surrounding yourself with people who help you grow and become your

best self!•  Eliminating the clutter!

–  Ridding yourself of any chaos in your environment or our mind!–  Making your environment nourishing to the soul!


WHAT IS IT?!

•  Taking care of things that have you’ve been avoiding!–  Lingering home repairs!–  Figuring out finances, taxes, or retirement!–  Creates freedom and choice!

•  Saying “no”!–  Not doing anything that fills you with guilt or that you’re only doing out of

a sense of obligation!



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WHAT IS IT?!

•  Coming up with a list of how to take care of yourself best!•  Highly individualized!•  Something you can always count on and reference !

–  To simplify and stream line your life!–  In times of need!

•  Increased stress!–  Life changes!–  Loss or illness!–  Intense busyness!–  Periods of transition!


WHY IS IT IMPORTANT?!

•  Taking care of yourself starts a cascade of positivity!–  When you nurture yourself you have more energy and positive

psychological energy to use elsewhere!–  More importantly, things begin to take care of themselves when you

begin to focus your priority on caring for yourself!


WHY IS IT IMPORTANT?!

•  You will begin to feel less angry, stressed, or anxious and this willfilter down through your life positively!–  Positive energy put out into the world multiplies positive energy!–  Negative energy put out into the world multiplies negative energy!–  Caring for yourself is a holistically positive energetic step!



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BENEFITS OF EXTREME SELF-CARE!

•  Making a commitment to yourself and your well-being is making acommitment to improving your life!

•  When we take time and care to nurture ourselves we naturally beginto take care of others more effectively than we ever have before!–  The world!–  The environment!–  Our family!–  Our community!



•  Conscientiousness and conscious flow naturally!–  Caring for ourselves puts our ethics in action in a personal way!

•  We become more honest!–  With ourselves and with others!–  Honesty is required for awareness!

•  Both are required for change!



•  Choices come from a place of compassion and caring !–  Rather than resentment or the path of least resistance!

•  Loving yourself is necessary before you can authentically offer loveto anyone else!–  Once you feel loved and deserving of the nurturance you begin to

graciously and generously contribute to the world around you to amplify the authentic love you feel inside!



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•  Facing fear makes it easier to step into your authentic path!•  The biggest benefit of extreme self-care is that it reconnects you

with your authentic self!•  When you stop seeing yourself through the fear of others judgments!

–  You free yourself up to see you more authentically!

HOW IT CAN CHANGE YOUR SELF IMAGE !


TUNING IN TO YOUR AUTHENTIC SELF!

•  More importantly when you stop prioritizing others needs!–  Brings clarity!

•  Of who you are!•  Of what you want!•  Of what you need!•  Of where you’re going!!


MYTHS ABOUT EXTREME SELF-CARE!

•  Myth: It’s selfish!–  Fact: No one will take care of you if you don’t do it yourself!–  Fact: If you are the primary care taker in your family and something

happened to you what would happen to your family? !•  Need to create self-sufficiency!•  People can function without you!

–  People would eventually get on with their lives and function fine without you!



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•  Myth: No one understands me!!–  Fact: You may not be asking for what you need!

•  You may have been letting people walk all over you for a long time!•  Need to enlist help in achieving your extreme self-care!



•  Myth: There is no time!–  Fact: Organizing and caring for your life ultimately creates more time!

•  If you start taking care of yourself you will create more self-sufficiency inthose around you which should also free up time!



•  Myth: I have to do extreme self-care perfectly or I shouldn’t do it at all!–  Fact: Any amount of extreme self-care is good!

•  Begin doing one thing at a time!–  However, without doing it to the “extreme” it’s merely self-care!



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•  Myth: I’ve already tried this self-care stuff and it didn’t work!–  Fact: knowing and doing are very different things!–  Fact: extreme self-care is a holistic philosophical approach to life, not

just one activity or one stalled effort!


AREAS OF FOCUS!

•  Mind!•  Body!•  Emotions!•  Spirit!•  Relationships!

•  Work!•  Environment!•  Financial!•  Social!•  Family!

It’s important to ask yourself key questions about the different areas of focus for self-care:


MIND!

•  How much do your thoughts drain you? !•  Do you feel like your thoughts are racing constantly and that it’s hard

to focus on just one thing?!•  Do you think that your opinions and ideas are as important as those

of other people? !•  Do you rationalize and make excuses for why you can’t take better

care of yourself? !•  Do you complain a lot? !



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BODY!

•  Does your body hurt all the time but you don’t know why? !•  Do you get frequent headaches, backaches, or other physical signs

of stress and tension? !•  Do you feel connected with your body?!•  Do you feel like your body is your ally and advocate? !


EMOTIONS!

•  Do you feel free to express any and all emotions? !•  Do you feel like your emotions mater as much as other people’s

emotions? !•  Are you okay with feeling your emotions? !•  Do others make you feel dramatic for your emotions? !


SPIRIT!

•  Do you feel connected to something bigger than yourself? !•  Do you feel that your inner being or soul is thriving and vital? !•  Do you feel that others understand your spirit and nurture it? Do

you? !•  Do you feel that there is something bigger than yourself that you can

depend on? !



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RELATIONSHIPS!

•  Do your relationships make you feel fulfilled? !•  Do they help you grow? !•  Do they nurture you and lift you up?!•  Are your relationships filled with drama?!•  Do you feel dissatisfied in your relationships? !


WORK!

•  Does your work make you feel passionate and as though you aremaking a difference? !

•  Does your work inspire you? !•  Is your work your main source of stress and unhappiness? !•  Are you surrounded by like minded people at work who understand

you and help you thrive?!


ENVIRONMENT!

•  Does your environment nurture your heart and soul? !•  Do you feel comfortable in your environment? !•  Does your environment inspire you to do more self-care? !•  Does your environment set you up for failure? !



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FINANCIAL!

•  Are you in debt? !•  Are your finances in shambles? !•  Are you unsure about important financial information? !

–  Retirement, insurance policies, taxes!•  Are you controlled by your finances? !


SOCIAL!

•  Do you enjoy your social life? !•  Do your social obligations make you anxious and stressed out? !•  Do you get as much as you get in your social circle? !•  Would you be happy withdrawing from your social circle?!


FAMILY!

•  Does your family work together well like a well oiled machine? !•  Does your family enjoy each others company? !•  Does your family laugh easily and find joy regularly? !



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WHEN YOU MAY NEED EXTREME SELF-CARE!

•  When you think caring for yourself is selfish!–  Or when others call you selfish for taking care of yourself you believe it!

•  You have difficulty prioritizing your needs!–  You put others needs before your own!–  You feel resentment and frustration about your commitments!



•  Your priorities are not reflected in your schedule!–  You feel constantly exhausted!–  You have no time to pursue the things that are meaningful for you!–  You have no time to do any self-care!–  You have lost touch with your passions!



•  Your to-do list feels never ending!–  There is always something else that needs to get done!

•  In your house, office, or family!–  You feel like you’re fighting a losing battle!–  People, things, and places stress you out and drain you of energy!

•  Make you feel “robbed”!



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•  Money imprisons you!–  Exhausted most of the time!–  Most choices motivated by finances!–  In debt or difficulty paying the bills!–  Spending money leaves you feeling unsatisfied!



•  You are constantly on the go!–  You are constantly running late or feel like you are!–  Can’t seem to slow down or relax!–  Feel like a hamster on a wheel!–  Adrenaline and caffeine have become a key source of energy!



•  You don’t feel that you have the support you need!–  You don’t have a community of friends or family you can depend on!–  You’re missing a supportive community in your life!

•  You feel isolated or disconnected from others and long to share a deeper connection with a community of like-minded people. !



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•  You feel little compassion for yourself or for others!•  Spirituality is placed last on your list!

–  You’d like to spend more time focusing on spiritual practice but life gets in the way!



•  Not having enough time for yourself!–  Feeling like you don’t get to pursue your own desires and goals!–  “I never have enough time” really means “I don’t prioritize my own

needs or take enough time to fulfill them”!•  Feeling as though you have to do everything yourself!

–  You’re not asking for help!



•  Feeling as though no one appreciates you or the things you do!–  Indicates that you are doing those things purely for others and not for

your own reasons!•  And you likely take on too much in order to receive approval and gratitude

from others!



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PREPARE FOR !EXTREME SELF-CARE!



•  Explore where you need care!•  Self-assessment!•  First clear your plate!•  Getting past the discomfort!•  Ignoring the protests of others!•  Letting others down!

•  Letting others down easier!•  Use your voice!•  Stop being who others want you

to be!•  Stop procrastinating!•  Set your priorities!


EXPLORE WHERE YOU NEED CARE!

•  In order to discover the areas in your life where extreme self-care is most important !–  Think about the areas in your life where you feel deprived!–  Think about the areas that most stress you out or cause the most

resentment!



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SELF-ASSESSMENT!

•  What do you need more of in your life? !•  What are you!

–  Yearning for!–  Starving for!–  Longing for!–  Wanting more!–  Hungry for more of in your life!–  Wanting less of!


SELF-ASSESSMENT!

•  What is causing me!–  Distress!–  Resentment!–  Guilt!–  Discomfort!–  Anxiety!–  Fear!

•  Try to discover underlying reasons for these things!–  Keep a journal!–  Track patterns for a month or two!


SELF-ASSESSMENT!

•  Figure out where and when you feel deprived!–  What relationships leave me with an enduring sense of deprivation? !–  What environments and situations do I feel deprived in?!–  Discover when, where, why and how you feel deprived!



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SELF-ASSESSMENT!

•  Need to be extremely specific about what causes deprivation!–  Instead of “I don’t get enough quiet time”!

•  “I feel deprived of solitary quiet time away from my family that allows me tofocus exclusively on myself”!


SELF-ASSESSMENT!

•  Next, work through these steps:!–  What is your goal?!–  Identify the current internal rule that stops you from reaching your goal!–  Create a new internal rule!–  Take actions that align with new goals and rules!


SELF-ASSESSMENT!

•  Continue noticing when you feel deprived or drained of energy!–  Continually reassess what your self-care needs are!

•  Build your supportive and nurturing network!–  Can even create an “extreme self-care” group!

•  Mutual support!



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FIRST CLEAR YOUR PLATE!

•  In order to clarify what your needs are and where you feel deprivedyou need to make some space to examine these things!–  If you are continuing to have your energy drained by extraneous

demands then you won’t have any energy to refocus on self-care!–  Self-care may feel like another stressor if you are bogged down by other

responsibilities!


FIRST CLEAR YOUR PLATE!

•  Key to remember that you are the “boss” when it comes to your life!–  Only you can clear your plate!

•  No one else can do it for you!–  Only you can make the decision to prioritize your self and your own

needs!


GETTING PAST THE DISCOMFORT!

•  Extreme self-care takes!–  Commitment!–  Practice!–  Patience!–  Sitting with uncomfortable emotions!

•  Confronting the inadequacy of long-term behaviors and beliefs: Anxiety!•  Prioritizing your needs: Guilt!•  Standing up to the criticisms and judgment of others!



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IGNORING THE PROTESTS OF OTHERS!

•  Other people will protest your renewed care of self!–  Some people will even argue with you!–  Or criticize you!

•  You will likely be accused of being selfish or only thinking of your own needs!–  People may become angry!

•  Because you are no longer putting others needs in front of your own!–  Need to allow them their emotions!

•  They may be trying to prioritize their self just as you are!


IGNORING THE PROTESTS OF OTHERS!

•  It’s important to remain firm in your convictions!–  Caving in to the demands of others is the worst thing you can do!–  It will reward their behavior and increase it!–  The worst thing you can do is cave, try to start meeting their needs

instead of your own, and then end up back at the beginning. Exhaustedand running on empty.!

•  Don’t let others reactions stop you!–  Their reactions are more about them and their discomfort with caring for

themselves than it is about you!!


LETTING OTHERS DOWN!

•  The problem!–  Doing things purely to please others!–  Not asserting your own needs!–  Making decisions based on what others want!

!



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•  The problem!–  Making commitments for the wrong reasons!

•  To show others your commitment!•  To make sure people don’t think you don’t like them!•  To help others avoid their emotional reactions!

–  “If I don’t do this they’ll feel rejected”!–  “If I don’t go take care of her, she’ll get depressed”!

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•  The problem!–  In a way this represents ultimate egoism!

•  Think you and your presence is essential to others success!•  Need to feel essential to others to feel good about yourself !•  Reduces trust!

–  Others trust in themselves and that they can accomplish things on their own!



•  The problem!–  You may even lose some relationships that used to be important to you!

•  Overextending yourself and giving everything to others create anexpectation that you will do this again and again!



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•  The problem!–  When others make you feel guilty or shame you for taking care of

yourself!–  Giving in is the worst thing you can do!

•  Gives mixed messages!•  Shows them you’re not serious about your commitment!

–  Teaches them to doubt your word!–  Shows them that with persistence they can get you to give-up on your extreme

self-care goals!



•  Being disappointed is difficult for anyone!–  Because of this we may often overcommit ourselves or have difficulty

saying no!•  Due to our own discomfort with being disappointed!

–  Or you may overcompensate for letting others down by wrestling withcoming up with an “acceptable” excuse!

•  Which may leave you feeling frustrated that you’ve wasted time!



•  Ultimately this is represents a fear of conflict!–  Discomfort with others being unhappy or angry with you!

•  May need to confront the negative emotions of others head-on!–  Desensitize yourself to others reactions!

•  Care less about what they think of you!



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•  Often we don’t want to let others down due to fear of !–  Guilt!–  Feeling bad or sad!–  Not having the proper thing to say!–  Confrontation and not keeping the peace!–  People not liking us!

•  We have almost an addiction to having the approval of others!–  Much of the time we feel that it is imperative to our self-esteem for

others to like us (We become uncomfortable when people don’t like us)!



•  But it is necessary to deal with your anxieties and fears whenpracticing extreme self-care!

•  Breaking your previous pattern of self-sacrifice and deprivation!–  Protecting your energy, time, and emotional needs!–  Challenging the status quo that you’ve maintained for so long!


HOW TO LET OTHERS DOWN EASIER!

•  Create some space!–  When confronted with a commitment take some time and space to think

about it before responding!–  The first response may often be the habitual response motivated by old

habits of prioritizing others needs before your own!



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•  Let the person know that you may not be able to make thecommitment!–  Makes rejection less personal!–  Preparing people that they may be disappointed!

•  Won’t leave them hanging !•  They can seek support from others!



•  Listen to your gut!–  Rate your desire to do what is being asked of you from 1(no desire) to

10 (really want to do this)!–  Questions to ask yourself!

•  “If I knew this person would be okay with it, would I say ‘no’?”!•  “Will doing this thing bring me fulfillment, joy, or pleasure?”!



•  There will always be things we need to do that we don’t really want to do!–  But make sure you’re doing it for relationship strengthening reasons and

not out of a sense of obligation or guilt!•  Be truthful!

–  Practice what you will say before you say it!•  Create a response that it respectful and caring!

–  Be direct and honest about your commitment to take care of yourself!



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•  Why having support through this process is so important!–  Doing this on your own it’s inevitable that you’ll lose some of your

resolve!–  Makes living and telling your truth easier!

•  Don’t!–  Be overly apologetic!–  Over-explain!



•  Three step process:!1.  Be honest and don’t over-explain!

•  Although its important to be up front and honest you do not need to explainyour motivations, or why you need self-care, or get into the underlyingreasons you need to say no to the commitment!

•  Over-explaining may make you feel vulnerable!2.  Be direct, don’t beat around the bush or hedge your statements!

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•  Three step process:!3. Ask if you can help get the person the support they need (that isn’t you)!

•  Examples!–  If you need to quit your job in the middle of the holiday season maybe you can

stay a few extra days to train your replacement or recommend another person for them to hire!

–  If you offered to help a friend move but can’t any longer look into movers for your friend to hire!

!



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•  Ultimately you cannot control how someone else is going to feel!–  Don’t measure your success by their reaction!–  Measure success by how you feel after declining the commitment!

•  Less anxiety!•  Feeling of relief!•  Feeling that you made the right decision!•  Feeling satisfaction or contentment about saying no!


USE YOUR VOICE!

•  Using your voice!–  Learning to speak up for yourself!–  Practice saying no and standing up to defend your time and energy!–  Get comfortable with disappointing others!

•  Or with the thought that you might hurt someone else's feelings!


USE YOUR VOICE!

•  Each time after you do these things assess what happened!–  Consider how you feel about it!–  Think about your language!–  Evaluate your honesty!–  Did you get defensive or drawn into their emotions?!



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STOP BEING WHO OTHERS WANT YOU TO BE!

•  Fear of others leaving!•  Hopelessness that anyone would love you for you!•  Feel that obliging others demands is the only way to earn love!•  May feel need to be who others want you to be in order to keep

them happy!–  Keeps the prioritization on others goals and desires!–  Asserts that your happiness is not necessary or important!


STOP BEING WHO OTHERS WANT YOU TO BE!

•  May feel that disappointing others leads them to be angry!–  May believe that anger means people don’t love you or care about you!

•  So try to avoid this type of reaction at all costs!•  This is usually motivated by our childhood!

–  Parental desires to shape us into the person they want us to be!–  Bogs us down!–  Makes it difficult to know who we are and what our needs are!


STOP PROCRASTINATING!

•  Self-doubt often motivates procrastination!•  Self-doubt is also related to perfectionism!•  Determining how confidence issues are playing out in your life!



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STOP PROCRASTINATING!

•  Getting from point A to point B in the most efficient way possible is the goal!–  When you have self-doubt you often try to get from point A to point B

through several intermediary steps like!•  Trying to get others approval!•  Creating drama or other things that make you feel that you need to

immediately take care of them!•  Desire for point B to be perfect!•  Procrastinating between point A and point B!•  Having health problems related to stress!


SET YOUR PRIORITIES!

•  Need to prioritize yourself first!•  Put yourself at the top of your to-do list!

–  Make extreme self-care the new standard!•  Making changes that reflect your true desires!

–  Begin to prioritize things that are truly important to you!•  Begin to live more authentically and more holistically!


CARE AND SUPPORT METHODS!



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•  Starting the day off right!•  Routine!•  Practices!•  Planning!•  Self connection!•  Spirituality!•  Straighten out finances!!

•  Pleasure!•  Health!•  Staying healthy!•  Body scan!•  Digestion!•  Meditation!•  Appearance!



•  Sleep!•  Massage!•  Self defeating thoughts!•  Self sabotage!•  Self-confidence!•  Work with experts!•  Environment!!

•  Your no list!•  The mirror exercise!•  Stress management!•  Acceptance!•  Letting go!•  Letting go of control!•  It’s okay to be an HSP!



•  Life long learning!•  Get angry!•  Don’t settle for less!•  Human connection!•  Human touch!•  Love for everyone!•  Animal support!•  Small things you can do now!



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CARE AND SUPPORT METHODS!

•  There are many different aspects of extreme self-care!•  Important to focus on !

–  Physical!–  Mental!–  Emotional!–  Financial!–  Environmental!–  Relational!


STARTING THE DAY THE RIGHT WAY!

•  One of the most important methods for extreme self-care is to beginyour day on the right foot and with the right activities!–  Sets up a pattern of thinking for the entire day!

•  The first hour of your day is imperative!–  If you begin your day feeling behind or feeling like you have to rush you

set yourself up to feel this way all day!


START THE DAY OFF RIGHT!

•  Communicates a negative energetic message!–  “I hate waking up”!–  “I hate what I have to do today”!–  “I don’t want to face my life”!

•  Giving yourself plenty of time before you have to get anywhere or doanything!–  Especially before you have to see people!–  Strengthens you to be able to prioritize extreme self-care throughout the

day!



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START THE DAY OFF RIGHT!

•  Beginning the day with a routine!–  Gratitude!–  Yoga!–  Meditation!–  Water, tea, coffee!–  Sitting quietly!–  Reading!–  Affirmation!


ROUTINE!

•  Starting the day the right way is an example of setting a mindfulrhythm and routine to your day!

•  Routine is often seen as boring!•  Gives life safety, stability, security, and serenity!


ROUTINE!

•  Routine can rejuvenate and uplift or improve health!–  Getting enough sleep!–  Stretching daily!–  Flossing!–  Exercise!–  Date night!–  Girls/Guys night out!



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ROUTINE!

•  Ask yourself what one activity would improve your life the most!–  Create a routine around it!–  Schedule it!

•  You are far likely to do something if you schedule it first!


ROUTINE!

•  Housework can even be enjoyed if it is a routine!–  It can be incredibly clarifying and freeing to have a clean home!

•  But it becomes stressful if !–  It’s something you have to fit in quickly between other tasks!–  When you are rushed!

–  Cleaning the kitchen every evening or morning can set you up for agood day!

•  Help reduce clutter!•  A cluttered home often reveals a cluttered mind!


ROUTINE!

•  Cleaning and organizing are a type of extreme self-care!–  Particularly when you do these things mindfully!

•  Can help quiet the brain!–  It helps create a beautiful environment!

•  Try scheduling time to organize or clean !–  Feel how this is different from rushing and being stressed!



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ROUTINE!

•  Experiment with differing routines!–  See how they feel and how they affect your life!

•  Routine also saves you from having to do too many things at once!

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ROUTINE!

•  Difference between!–  Your tasks flowing throughout the day!–  Feeling like things are disjointed, jumbled, and forced!

•  Routine also gives you a degree of control over setting up your day!–  Know what to expect !


ROUTINE!

•  The power of habit!–  Habit can be an incredibly powerful tool!

•  Habit is more powerful than !–  Lack of willpower!–  Lack of motivation!

–  Creating positive routines and habits !•  Can create automatic positive responses in your life!



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PRACTICES!

•  Create daily practices that get you in touch with your authentic self!–  Daily writing!–  Journaling!–  Reading meditative texts!–  Meditation!–  Yoga, tai chi, qigong!


PLANNING!

•  Use planning and planning tools to manage and balance your needs with your responsibilities!–  When you know what you need to do then you can work around those

responsibilities to assert your self-care needs!–  Harder to prioritize self-care extemporaneously!


SELF CONNECTION!

•  Take some time to reconnect with yourself!–  Reconnect with your body!

•  Physical activities!–  Reconnect with your mind!

•  Let your mind wander and explore the inner recesses of your mind!–  Reconnect with your emotions!

•  Let yourself feel the emotions you’ve been avoiding for your entire life!



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SPIRITUALITY!

•  Prioritizing your spirituality can be extremely important!–  Do meaningful activities that align with your values, morals, ethics, and

passions!–  Allows us to feel authentic connection with the divine!–  Gives a sense of connection with other people and things!

•  Can help with stress !•  Can increase compassion!


SPIRITUALITY!

•  Build a community of soulful individuals!–  Supports your extreme self-care journey!–  Helps validate and compliment your own journey as well as your morals

and ethics!


SPIRITUALITY!

•  Honoring yourself as a spiritual person is a key way to honor yourself!–  Spirituality also teaches us such lessons as “treat your body as a

temple” that can be directly applied to extreme self-care!–  Also helps us connect with inner wisdom and our soul!



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STRAIGHTEN OUT FINANCES!

•  Get your financial affairs in order!–  When your finances are in a mess your life feels like it’s a mess!–  Finances and debt are a major stressor!


STRAIGHTEN OUT FINANCES!

•  Build savings!–  To create freedom of choice!–  And feel less controlled by finances!

•  Learn money management skills !


PLEASURE!

•  Finding things that bring you pleasure is key!–  Self-care should inevitably be pleasurable!

•  Increase joy, gratitude, and full engagement with life!•  Finding out what works best for you is part of the self-care journey!



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PLEASURE!

•  Make a list of your top 10 pleasurable activities that you enjoy!–  Whimsical!–  Intellectual!–  Emotional!–  Entertainment!–  Artistic!


HEALTH!

•  Take care of and nurture your health!•  Get check ups!

–  Doctor, dentist, and specialty doctors!–  Keep medications up to date!

•  Get “that one pain” that you’ve been meaning to get checked out examined!–  Health is part of holistic wellness!


HEALTH!

•  Find out your levels!–  Cholesterol, blood pressure, etc.!–  Awareness of these things allows you to focus on them and change

them !•  Eat healthy foods and be sure you have getting adequate nutrition!



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HEALTH!

•  Examine, correct, and pay attention to your posture!–  Posture affects your entire outlook on life!–  Move naturally, fluidly, and in a balanced manner!

•  Get sufficient exercise!–  At least 3x’s a week for 30 minutes!


STAYING HEALTHY!

•  Taking stock of your health!–  Important to do look inward periodically to check in with your health!–  Doing a full body scan can help!

•  Close your eyes and work methodically down your body from section tosection examining each part for pain or discomfort!


BODY SCAN!

•  Lay down in a comfortable position!•  Relax your body!•  Breath deeply and slowly!•  Begin by examining the toes on your left foot!•  Bring your entire attention to your toes without moving them!



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BODY SCAN!

•  Focus you attention as a blue wave of light on your toes!•  Bring your breath into your toes!•  Become aware of how they feel, where any pain or discomfort

resides!•  Focus on each area for a 30 seconds – 5 minutes!


BODY SCAN!

•  Next move on to other areas of the body!–  Ankles!–  Legs!–  Knees!–  Thighs!–  All the way up until you reach your head!–  Take your time and focus on each part!


BODY SCAN!

•  Notice wherever you feel tension, tightness, discomfort, or pain!•  Bring your breath and the blue light of your attentional focus to each

area!–  Use these things to try to reduce tension!

•  Also notice anywhere you might feel energy or twitchiness in your body!–  This may be a manifestation of stress or anxiety!



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DIGESTION!

•  Your digestion is often an extension of your need for extreme self-care!–  Taking care of your digestive system can be integral!–  Drink enough water a day!–  Take vitamins!–  Take relevant supplements!–  Stop smoking!


DIGESTION!

•  Your digestion is often an extension of your need for extreme self-care!–  Cut down or cut out alcohol or other intoxicants!–  Limit or cut out caffeine intake!–  Consider becoming a vegetarian or vegan!

•  Or even detox with these methods!–  Eat less sugar!–  Take a probiotic!


MEDITATION!

•  Many different kinds of meditation are kinds of extreme self-care!•  Mindfulness in particular can be helpful!

–  Keeps the mind focused on the present moment!•  Rather than worrying about the future!•  Or ruminating about the past!



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APPEARANCE!

•  Go through your closet and organize!–  Get rid of anything that doesn’t make you feel amazing!–  Wear only clothes that flatter and complement you!

•  Keep up with coloring and cutting your hair how you want it!•  Keep nails tidy!•  Take care of unwanted hair!•  Give yourself facials!


APPEARANCE!

•  Exfoliate!•  Wearing comfortable and attractive shoes!•  Maintaining tooth and mouth health!•  Seeing a dermatologist to check moles!•  If lines or wrinkles trouble you do something about it!•  Get anything that doesn’t look right checked out by your doctor!


SLEEP!

•  Get plenty of sleep!–  Start the day right!

•  Not getting enough sleep makes you vulnerable to many negativeeffects!–  Negative emotions!–  Affects you physically!–  Affects you mentally!

•  Less focus and clarity!



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MASSAGE!

•  Massage by a massage therapist or self-massage!–  Helps increase blood and lymph flow!–  Helps relaxation and reduce tension and pain!–  Reconnects you with your body!


•  Shift your thinking away from self-defeating thoughts!–  Challenge the negative thoughts!–  Remind yourself of your gifts!–  Read something inspirational !–  Or do something to shift your focus temporarily!

•  By the time you’ve completed the activity your mood will have often changed!–  Shower, nap, walk around the block, count to 10, deep breathing!

SELF DEFEATING THOUGHTS!


SELF SABOTAGE!

•  Many times we will begin to sabotage ourselves when we begin tosee improvement!

•  Self-sabotage can come in many forms!–  Thinking “This is good enough” and quitting!–  Thinking “This is too hard” or “I’ll just stop for a while” and never picking

things back up again!–  Treating yourself too often!–  Using things as an excuse: “I have a headache” or “I’m too tired”!



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SELF-CONFIDENCE!

•  True self-confidence comes from the knowledge that you are goodenough and loveable!–  Be compassionate with yourself if you make a mistake!–  Be grateful for everything you are capable of!–  Do things that make you feel effective, able, and smart!


SELF-CONFIDENCE!

•  True self-confidence comes from the knowledge that you are goodenough and loveable!–  Look deeply into yourself and find the reasons you are good enough

and loveable!–  Remind yourself that every single person is good enough and loveable

just as they are!•  So you are too!


WORK WITH EXPERTS!

•  When focusing on extreme self-care it may be worthwhile to spendmoney on experts that can support your journey!

−  Psychologist!−  Personal Coach!−  Nutritionist!−  Personal Trainer!−  Chiropractor!!

!

−  Massage therapist!−  Energy worker!−  Financial advisor!−  God/Universe/Source/etc.!

!



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ENVIRONMENT!

•  We are a product of our environment!•  Which is why having a great environment is so important!•  We have choice in our environment!

–  We can change or design our environment to suit our needs!–  The primary need is to promote extreme self-care!


•  Your home is a “living alter” or sacred space!•  Create a space that nurtures you and your soul!•  Get rid of clutter and disorganization!•  Think about what is already making you happy in your environment!

ENVIRONMENT!


•  Pay attention to ambiance!–  Soft lighting!–  Nice colors!–  Natural light!–  Music!–  Nice place settings!–  Window coverings!–  Matching curtains, paint, utensils or plates!

ENVIRONMENT!



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•  Pay attention to ambiance!–  Soft and comfortable bedding!–  Other sounds: wind chimes, bird feeder to attract birds!–  Nice smells: aromatherapy, candles or incense!–  Gardening: grow own food, flowers or plants surrounding your space!

ENVIRONMENT!


ENVIRONMENT!

•  Other ways to improve your environment!–  Back up your computer!–  Get a pet!–  Fill your home with beautiful things that you love!–  Each aspect of physical environment serves a purpose!–  Fix anything that’s broken!


•  Fall in love with where you live!–  Let your home become a source of inspiration!–  Align your space with your goals and desires!

•  If you want to start practicing yoga daily set up a yoga space!•  Fill your environment with things that !

–  Help you stay at your best!–  Help improve your self-care!

ENVIRONMENT!



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•  Recognizing the impact of our home and environment!•  Your space affects !

–  Emotions!–  Physical health!–  Spirituality!–  Self-esteem!–  Energy levels!

ENVIRONMENT!


ENVIRONMENT!

•  Take 4 steps to improving your environment!1.  Examine !

•  Examine the meaning and significance of the space!2.  Evaluate!

•  What could change about the space!•  How happy you are with it!

3.  Eliminate!•  Get rid of all the clutter and simplify!

4.  Enhance!•  Make the space more comfortable, inviting, and nurturing!•  Put steps in place to stay clutter free!


YOUR NO LIST!

•  Create a list of things that are absolute “no’s” for you!–  Knowing what you don’t want is as important as knowing what you want!–  Things that you will not tolerate in your life!–  A list that serves as a reminder!

•  Self-protection!•  Safety!•  Comfort!



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YOUR NO LIST!

•  Your list will be very personal!–  Think about the things !

•  You no longer want to take part of!•  That bog you down!•  That you have already rejected!•  That you will not tolerate!•  That frustrate you!

•  Post your “no” list somewhere you can see it every day!


YOUR NO LIST!

•  Examples include:!–  No lies!–  No rushing!–  No credit card debt!–  No gossip!–  No answering the phone out of obligation!–  No junk food!–  No excuses!–  No complaining!


THE MIRROR EXERCISE!

•  Use the mirror exercise to accept and love yourself!•  Move beyond the influence of personality and ego!•  The practice may end up “doing you” !

–  After you’ve done it for a while!–  You begin to sink into the practice and don’t have to try!–  Getting out of your own way!

•  You cannot “try” to get it right!–  Just keep practicing and let it happen!



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•  Best to repeat this exercise every day for 10 minutes at the same tie!•  Stand in front of a full length mirror alone in a quiet closed room!

–  Place feet shoulder width apart and evenly distribute your weight!–  Look at your entire reflected image for a few moments!–  Next focus on a point on your forehead!

!



•  Throughout the exercise !–  Repeat to yourself!

•  “I accept myself.”!•  “I am good enough just as I am.”!•  Saying these things out loud so you have sense memory of it!

–  Take slow deep breaths in and out!•  Breath up through your feet through the top of your head and vice versa!•  Use the breath !

–  To release any thoughts, feelings, or impressions!–  To fill the space created by releasing these things!

!


STRESS MANAGEMENT!

•  Stress gets in the way of self-care!•  We can’t find peace and quiet when we’re that stressed!•  Quiet helps us hear our internal voice!



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STRESS MANAGEMENT!

•  It’s important to not only manage stress!–  But eliminate the major sources of stress in your life!–  Eliminate key sources of stress from you life!

•  Cut out all unnecessary commitments and activities!•  Stress gets in the way of your ability to focus on caring for your own

needs!


STRESS MANAGEMENT!

•  Find new alternatives for stressful things in your life!–  Change jobs!–  Move to a new home!

•  Eliminate the top 3 sources of stress from !–  People!–  Responsibilities!–  Roles!


STRESS MANAGEMENT!

•  Ask for help or hire someone to help with tasks!–  Running errands!–  Paying the bills!–  Cleaning the house!–  Doing paperwork!–  Taxes!



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STRESS MANAGEMENT!

•  Stress causes you to abandon self-care and self-nurturing!•  Consider 10 promises you’ve made that are causing you stress !

–  Work out some other option to help the person!


ACCEPTANCE!

•  Accept the things you cannot change!–  Don’t “cut your nose off to spite your face”!

•  Or handicap yourself because you feel that things should be a “certain way”!–  Be willing, not willful!

•  Stubbornness and perfectionism will get you nowhere!•  Don’t act against your own best interests!


LETTING GO!

•  Let go of the burdens you carry!–  Childhood abuses, mistreatment, bullying, etc.!

•  Part of acceptance is letting go of control!–  Letting go of your expectations!

•  Of the right life!•  Right body!•  Right habits, environment, diet, etc.!



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LETTING GO OF CONTROL!

•  When you feel the need to control everything in your environment you do several negative things!–  You demonstrate a lack of trust in those around you!–  You create a martyr in yourself!–  This is a form of self- sabotage!–  You won’t ask for help!–  No one will want to help you either (since you’ll have very controlling

perfectionistic expectations)!–  Creates helplessness in those around you!


LETTING GO OF CONTROL!

•  Respect that others have their own ways of doing things!–  Just because it isn’t your way it doesn’t mean that it’s wrong!

•  Maintaining control is a way to try to manage the perceptions andopinions of others!


IT’S OKAY TO BE A HSP!•  HSP = Highly Sensitive Person!•  Highly sensitive people!

–  Are overwhelmed by stimuli!–  Are more emotionally sensitive than others!–  Have a complex and rich internal world!–  More moved by art, music, etc.!–  Easily overwhelmed by stress!–  Often on edge!

•  Easily startled!•  Change is difficult!



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IT’S OKAY TO BE A HSP!

•  Many HSP’s believe that it is a liability to be highly sensitive!•  But for many their sensitivity is one of their greatest gifts!

–  May be drawn to passions and careers that make use of these gifts!


IT’S OKAY TO BE A HSP!

•  Being a Highly Sensitive Person may be the reason why extremeself-care is so important!–  Need to buffer against undue stress and stimulation!–  Why the environment and pressures from others are so influential !

•  Recognizing and cherishing that you’re an HSP is a form of extremeself-care!


LIFE LONG LEARNING!

•  Never think that the project of “life” is finished!–  Your life is a continual progression of growth and renewal!

•  Death is what happens when you stop growing!–  Literally and figuratively!



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LIFE LONG LEARNING!

•  Learning can include!–  Going back to school!–  Going on a retreat!–  Focusing on self-care (growth through self-knowledge)!–  Helping others!


GET ANGRY!

•  Stop swallowing down your anger!•  When someone does something that is unfair, unjust, or just wrong !

–  Stand up for yourself, others, and your ethics and morals!


GET ANGRY!

•  When you stop holding in your anger!–  You start feeling less taken advantage of!–  You stop expressing your anger in other ways!–  You begin to be more authentic and real with yourself and with others!

•  Your body begins to tell you when there’s something you need toexpress!



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GET ANGRY!

•  Standing up to tyranny is freeing and strengthening!–  Makes change seem possible!

•  Swallowing your anger is too costly!–  To your self-esteem!


DON’T SETTLE FOR LESS!

•  Speak up for yourself!•  Become intolerant of injustice!•  “The world isn’t fair”!

–  Maybe not, but we CAN be!


DON’T SETTLE FOR LESS!

•  No one can know your needs unless you express them, in detail!•  How can you prioritize your needs when you’re not prioritizing your

voice!



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HUMAN CONNECTION!

•  Finding a powerful support system is integral in executing extremeself-care!

•  Support will make the transition easier!•  Make it more difficult to fall into the pattern of!

–  Self-blame!–  Internalized anger!–  Not asking for help!–  Martyrdom!


HUMAN TOUCH!•  Human touch is also important in self healing and extreme self-care!

–  Touch can be extremely !•  Healing!•  Comforting!•  Nurturing!

•  Anything form of touch will do!–  Self-touch!–  Hugs from family and friends!–  Sex with your partner!


LOVE FOR EVERYONE!

•  Create a strong compassion muscle!•  Be kind and loving toward everyone you meet!

–  Even Strangers!•  You could make all the difference in the world to that person and

their day!•  And you will feel better about yourself when you treat others with

respect and admiration!



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ANIMAL SUPPORT!

•  Owning a pet has been shown to reduce mental health symptoms!•  It also greatly reduces stress!•  Pets can also improve an environment!

–  Creating a more soothing or comforting space!


SMALL THINGS YOU CAN DO NOW!

1.  Take a nap!2.  Go out and have an adventure!3.  Read something fun and easy!4.  Snuggle (partner, pets, kids)!5.  Take a long hike or walk!6.  Take a bath!7.  Move your body!



8.  Watch a fun, inspiring, or funny movie!9.  Get take-out or have someone else do the cooking!10.  Buy flowers!11.  Drink something soothing!

- Tea, coffee, cocoa!12.  Play outside!

- Play in the mud, have a snowball fight!



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13.  Walk on the beach!14.  Enjoy the sunshine!15.  Hold someone’s hand!16.  Listen to an upbeat song and dance around!17.  Listen to inspiring music!18.  Make a list of things that delight you!19.  Turn off technology for 24 hours!



20.  People watch!21.  Create!

–  Art, crafts, paint, sculpt, knit, crochet, sew, design or draw!22.  Swing on the swings!23.  Rock your body!

–  Rocking back and forth can be very soothing!24.  Daydream!25.  Take a mental health day!!



26.  Have a movie marathon!–  Harry Potter!–  Indiana Jones!–  Star Wars!–  The Godfather!–  Rocky movies!–  Etc…!

27.  Have no more than 3 things to do at any one time!



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28.  Laughter yoga!29.  Eat cleanly and simply!30.  Stop watching TV!31.  Experience your emotions!32.  Find a local support group!33.  Say “I love you” to yourself!34.  Get a mani/pedi!35.  Go window shopping!



36.  Have a game night!37.  Write notes to friends to thank them for being in your life!38.  Explore your town, neighborhood, state, country!39.  “Get lost” in your city and find new unexplored places!40.  Do a random act of kindness or “pay it forward”!41.  Write a love letter to yourself or someone else!42.  Gratitude journal!



43. Try something new!44. Do something brave or that you’re afraid of !

–  Sky diving!–  Bungee jumping!–  Taking a dance class!–  Etc.!

45. Go to an art gallery!



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46.  Treat yourself!47.  Play music or sing!48.  Have a family slumber party!49.  Don’t get your of your pajamas all day!50.  Wear your favorite outfit!51.  Give yourself permission!52.  Clear out the clutter!



53.  Hire a house cleaner or organizer!54.  Hire someone to do the yard work!55.  Plant a garden!56.  Be generous!57.  Watch the clouds!58.  Go horseback riding!59.  Forgive!



60.  Make a bucket list!61.  Do something on your bucket list!62.  Play with your animals!63.  Stimulate your inner child!

–  Read a children’s book, play childlike game, color!64.  Smile at a stranger!65.  Call an old friend!66.  Stop complaining!



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67.  Go boating, waterskiing, or swimming!68.  Buy yourself a balloon or an edible bouquet!69.  Make up a dance!70.  Be still!71.  Schedule fun time for the family!72.  Go out in nature!73.  Jump in the leaves!74.  Make your favorite foods!75.  Drinking lots of fresh water!



76.  Spend time with friends doing something fun!–  Picture scavenger hunt!–  Charades!–  Dance party!

77.  Get up early!78.  Take a vacation!79.  Take a mental vacation!80.  Get pampered!81.  Clean out the attic!82.  Adopt a positive attitude!


END OF PSYCHOLOGY MODULE 5!

Please submit your test questions by the due date on your Sessions Calendar. !



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