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Part IV Building Conversations:
Promoting Calmness
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Stress and anxiety
Low levels of stress and anxiety are normal and a healthy response required for vigilance.
High levels of emotional arousal create stress when we are worried or uncomfortable. The level of stress creates physical, emotional, or psychological strain.
Continuous negative stress and negative anxiety prevents our ability to adapt or change.
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How to talk about stress
❖ De-emphasize negative views to help constructively identify their own signs of stress○ What would happen if we were totally stress-free?○ What causes you to stress out?○ How do you know that your stress level is high?
What are your personal stress signs?○ If you could talk to your stress, what would you tell
it about what you like and don’t like about it?
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How to talk about stress
❖ Help kids reflect on their own experiences in order to discover and develop personal coping strategies.○ What is a healthy way you deal with stress?○ What are unhealthy coping choices you see in yourself or
other people?○ Share a time when you helped someone else who was
stressed out. What did you learn from that experience?○ Sometimes it takes courage to cope through life’s
challenges. imagine that courage was a color. What color would your courage be?
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Steps to achieve calmness?
First Reframe Stress
Second Shift from Fixed to a Growth mindset
Third Stop catastrophic thinking
Fourth Practice problem-solving
Fifth Try stress-management techniques
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FirstReframe Stress
★ Help kids from “stress hurts” mindset to a “stress helps” mindset.
★ Some level of stress is beneficial and presents opportunities for growth.
★ Teach kids that you can’t prevent stress, but that stress is an opportunity to grow.
★ Help your child find their areas of growth that resulted from stress.
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SecondShift from a fixed to a growth mindset.
Help kids look at the problem/situation from a growth mindset perspective: the problem is not fixed, it can be improved, it can be changed, and they do have the power to influence the situation. Practice affirmations:★ I am on the right track.★ I can do hard things.★ I try new things.★ I learn from my mistakes.★ I can learn anything.★ Learning is my superpower.
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ThirdStop catastrophic thinking
- Do the worst case scenario exercise. Ask:“what’s the worst thing that could
happen?”- Put things in perspective.
Write down the facts/evidence against and for the negative thoughts.
Focus on things you can control.
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FourthPractice problem-solving
Brainstorm solutions, listen more than talk. Think through positive and negative consequences of each proposed ideas, then choose one.
Hope and self-efficacy can be helpful here.
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FifthPractice stress-management techniques
Use mindfulness and calming techniques.
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Phrases that promote calmness
- “I am here; you are safe.”- “Tell me about it.”- “Can you draw it?”- “Let’s change the ending.”- “What other things do you know about …?”- “Which calming strategy do you want to use?- “I’m going to take a deep breath.”- “It’s scary AND…”- “I can’t wait to hear about it.”- “This feeling will pass.”
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CalmnessHabits
1. A calm morning ritual.2. Learn to watch your responses.
3. Don’t take things personally.4. Be grateful.
5. Create stress coping habits.6. Single-task.
7. Reduce noise.
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Breathing Physical Activities
Sensory Play Imaginative/ Creative thinking
Blowing out
candles
Sticky hands Feeling box Personal Stories
Blowing up
balloons
Stretching Listening Center Story Books
Blowing bubbles Tense and Relax Visual Center Role Play
Breathing apps Yoga Music Problem
Solving/Brainstorming
Breathing races Walk Finger/hand painting/Drawing
Practice affirmations
Calming Activities
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When you become calm and serene on the inside,
The world becomes more calm and serene on the outside.
Ohm!
